Our Son Celebrated His Birthday with Unprotected Sex

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Podcast Information

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: Our Son Celebrated His Birthday with Unprotected Sex
• Release Date: July 14, 2025

---

Introduction

In the July 14, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a pressing parental concern brought forth by Amber, a mother grappling with her 18-year-old son Oliver's recent engagement in unprotected sex. This episode delves deep into themes of parental responsibility, adolescent behavior, and the ethical implications of early sexual activity.

---

The Call: Amber's Dilemma

Amber's Situation At the outset of the episode, Amber reaches out to Dr. Laura to discuss a distressing incident involving her son Oliver on his 18th birthday. She reveals that on the night of his birthday, she discovered Oliver engaging in unprotected sex with a girl.

• Discovery of the Incident:
  [00:36] Amber: "So yesterday. Well, Today is Oliver's 18th birthday. Last night, we found out that he had unprotected sex with a girl."

• Immediate Reaction:
  [01:24] Amber: "I told him to get in the car, I drove him home. I called Bill because, just so you know, Bill is his stepfather and we have been married for six years."

Amber expresses her frustration and uncertainty about how to handle the situation. She contemplates enforcing stricter household rules, such as taking away his car and privileges, and seeks Dr. Laura's guidance on whether this approach is appropriate.

---

Dr. Laura's Initial Response

Dr. Laura swiftly critiques Amber's inclination to impose punitive measures, labeling them as "useless nonsense."

• Disapproval of Punitive Measures:
  [02:35] Dr. Laura Schlesinger: "Please, Amber, that's just useless nonsense. Life doesn't have to be so complicated."

Instead of focusing on immediate punishment, Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of instilling a sense of responsibility in Oliver. She underscores the gravity of unprotected sex, highlighting the potential consequences beyond mere disciplinary action.

• Emphasis on Responsibility:
  [06:13] Dr. Laura Schlesinger: "What's important is a sense of responsibility. When you have intercourse and you ejaculate in the woman's vagina, you could be producing my grandchild. Here's what will come of that. That's it."

---

Bill's Input: A Unified Parental Front

Bill, Oliver's stepfather, aligns with Dr. Laura's perspective, reinforcing the necessity of communicating the long-term implications of Oliver's actions.

• Supportive Stance:
  [07:11] Bill: "I fully agree, by the way. Dr. Laura."

• Focus on Long-Term Consequences:
  [07:20] Bill: "If we haven't instilled in him the ability to make better decisions by now, it's too late to do that. And as a typical 17, 18-year-old boy, he's going to do what he's going to do."

Bill emphasizes that while immediate prevention may be futile, ensuring Oliver understands the lasting repercussions of his decisions is paramount.

---

Strategies for Parental Guidance

Dr. Laura outlines a strategic approach for Amber and Bill to address the situation effectively:

1. Unified Communication: The parents should present a consolidated message to Oliver, with Bill articulating the dire consequences of his actions and Dr. Laura reinforcing the importance of responsibility.

   • Collaborative Approach:
     [08:31] Dr. Laura Schlesinger: "You and Bill are going to sit in a room with Oliver. Bill is going to say everything I just said to Oliver and I'm going to say, quiet."

2. Avoiding Negative Labeling: Dr. Laura advises against labeling Oliver negatively, such as suggesting he should stop attending church or calling him a disappointment, as these remarks can be detrimental to his self-esteem and future behavior.

   • Rejecting Labels:
     [09:27] Bill: "You know, he shouldn't be going to church. We're a Christian family and we're very involved in church. He needs to stop going to church because he can't look God in the face and you know, he's a disappointment."

   • Dr. Laura's Rebuttal:
     [09:41] Dr. Laura Schlesinger: "No, don't say it at all. Kids hear things and you slip. Don't give any of that crap."

3. Educational Dialogue on Sexual Responsibility: Emphasizing the biological and ethical responsibilities associated with sexual activity, Dr. Laura suggests that parents vividly explain the potential for life creation and the serious implications of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

   • Vivid Explanation of Consequences:
     [12:32] Dr. Laura Schlesinger: "You could spend the rest of your life with some kind of STD. This is how you say it. The more vivid you are, the better they remember it."

4. Encouraging Open Relationships: Both Amber and Bill maintain an open and supportive relationship with Oliver, fostering an environment where he feels comfortable discussing his actions and their consequences.

   • Open Relationship with Oliver:
     [13:18] Bill: "And by the way, he and I have a good relationship, even though I'm a stepdaughter."

---

Conclusion: Embracing Responsibility Over Punishment

The episode culminates with Dr. Laura reiterating the importance of emphasizing responsibility over punitive measures. She advocates for honest, direct conversations about the consequences of sexual activity, ensuring that Oliver comprehends the gravity of his actions without feeling alienated or shamed.

• Final Advice:
  [11:05] Dr. Laura Schlesinger: "You don't think you're going to give a lecture on STDs. You just tell them. The more vivid you are, the better they remember it."

Amber concludes the call feeling more equipped to handle the situation, grateful for the guidance provided by Dr. Laura and Bill.

• Amber's Response:
  [13:53] Amber: "Okay? Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I appreciate it."

---

Key Takeaways

1. Responsibility Over Punishment: Fostering a sense of accountability in adolescents is more effective than imposing strict punishments.
2. Unified Parental Approach: Consistent messaging from both parents reinforces the seriousness of the situation.
3. Open Communication: Maintaining an open and supportive relationship encourages honest dialogue and better decision-making.
4. Vivid Education on Consequences: Clearly explaining the biological and ethical implications of sexual activity aids in better understanding and retention.

---

Notable Quotes

• Amber on Discovering the Incident:
  [00:36] "Today is Oliver's 18th birthday. Last night, we found out that he had unprotected sex with a girl."

• Dr. Laura on Responsibility:
  [02:35] "Life doesn't have to be so complicated."
  [06:13] "What's important is a sense of responsibility. When you have intercourse and you ejaculate in the woman's vagina, you could be producing my grandchild."

• Bill Supporting Responsibility:
  [07:20] "As a typical 17, 18-year-old boy, he's going to do what he's going to do."

• Dr. Laura on Effective Communication:
  [12:32] "You could spend the rest of your life with some kind of STD. This is how you say it. The more vivid you are, the better they remember it."

---

This episode serves as a compelling guide for parents navigating the complexities of adolescent behavior, emphasizing the importance of responsibility, open communication, and a unified parental approach in fostering healthy decision-making in their children.

Transcript

[Sponsor Voice]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance. Trucking is a big job, so Progressive is proud to offer truckers the coverage they need and discounts to help them save quote truck insurance in as little as seven minutes at progressivecommercial.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Discounts not available in all states or situations.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Okay, I have Amber and I have Bill.

[Amber]

So yesterday. Well, Today is Oliver's 18th birthday. Last night, we found out that he had unprotected sex with a girl.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And how did we find that out?

[Amber]

Because I was driving home from a location that I was at and stopped by to see him where he said he was going to be, and he wasn't there. And then I did some fishing around and then I found him and this girl in a car.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And is this somebody he's been dating or just somebody who spread her legs?

[Amber]

Somebody who spread her legs.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Got it. Okay. And when you got him, what happened at that very moment?

[Amber]

I told him to get in the car, I drove him home. I called Bill because, just so you know, Bill is his stepfather and we have been married for six years. So Bill has been Oliver's life for six years. Oliver. I kind of go to Bill for these things because he's the man and can relate more. The three of us spoke on the way home in the car. When we got home, we spoke some more. That is.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I'm sorry, I don't know what all this talking was about. We spoke. We spoke about what? What. What did we speak about?

[Amber]

Well, at the time, we didn't know exactly what had happened, so.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, you found him in a car with her penis in her. So you knew what had happened.

[Bill]

She did not test. She did not catch him in the act.

[Amber]

I found him about two minutes after the act.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I see. And how did you know it was unprotected sex?

[Amber]

Because he later divulged that to us. That they started with a condom and then he took it off because she said she was on birth control.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Ah, that is really stupid on his part. Okay, so your question for me is.

[Amber]

My question for you is, am I being. I want to be more like you're not following the rules of the house. You're 18 now. This is not for our rules of the house. And I want to come down on him pretty hard. Taking away liberties, taking away his car.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Please, Amber, that's just useless nonsense. Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies. And thanks to Walmart pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor All Free Clear laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear.

[Amber]

Wasn't that delicious? So good.

[Sponsor Voice]

Your bill, ladies.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first.

[Amber]

Oh, don't be silly.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You don't be silly.

[Sponsor Voice]

People with The Wells Fargo ActiveCash credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash back on purchases.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Amber]

Rock, paper, scissors for it.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.

[Amber]

No.

[Sponsor Voice]

The Wells Fargo Active cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance. Trucking is a big job, so Progressive is proud to offer truckers the coverage they need and discounts to help them. Quote truck insurance in as little as 7 minutes@progressive commercial.com. progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Discounts not available in all states or situations.

[Amber]

Okay. That's what my name is.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

It is now telling you what you should do. Is he in college? Is he in high school? Tell me what his status is right now.

[Amber]

He's going to be a senior in high school.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay. Is he planning to go to college? The military? What is his plan?

[Amber]

Yes, he's planning to go to college. He's actually very academically smart and is in that process of applying right now.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah, but he's an irresponsible male. So in my opinion, and I'll tell you what I said to my son. I didn't catch him in a car with anybody, but I just offered this proactively. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I said son. I called him by his name. Here's the deal. You have sex and you get a girl pregnant. That's when I stopped paying for everything. School, anything. Because you have to quit school, get a job and support your family. Because I call that a family. When you get a woman pregnant and she makes your baby, that's a family. Number two. If she kills my grandchild. Because it's not just about you. I exist here and any human beings you produce is my grandchild. If you and she, because you have no power and she decides to kill my grandchild, that also will result in no financial support, period. So be very careful with whom, how, when, why you have sex in the future because your future depends on it. Say I'm going to come down hard on him and I'm going to say, you can't go to that party and I'm going to take away your cell phone. It's just stupid. Doesn't mean anything. What's important is a sense of responsibility. When you have intercourse and you ejaculate in the woman's vagina, you could be producing my grandchild. Here's what will come of that. That's it.

[Bill]

I fully agree, by the way. Dr. Lara.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thank you.

[Bill]

At 18 years old, we are not going to be able to prevent this from happening.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, of course not.

[Bill]

If we haven't instilled in him the ability to make better decisions by now, it's too late to do that. And as a typical 17, 18 year old boy, he's going to do what he's going to do. And my, my, my focus is making sure he understands the implications there long term and how they might affect his life than to worry about how he lives the next 30, 60 days.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Right.

[Amber]

Can I ask you, your husband and.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I are on the same page and maybe you ought to let Bill do it and sit there and go, I.

[Amber]

Agree with Bill and that's why I called you, because he said call Dr. Laura. So I did. And you know, so as a mother, here's my question. We had this conversation with him and then do I just go about my own way? I'm having a hard time. I'm so.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I have no idea what you're talking about. Go my own way? What does that mean?

[Amber]

Okay, I mean, I'm very upset with him. So do I just push all those aside and go about like as the normal relationship we would have, even though I'm so disappointed in him.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, let me explain it again, Amber. You and Bill are going to sit in a room with Oliver. Bill is going to say everything I just said to Oliver and I'm going to say, quiet. You're then going to say, I completely agree with Bill. These will Be the consequences of you messing with my future grandchild. You'll be on your own, taking care of your family.

[Amber]

Okay.

[Bill]

And by the way, Dr. Lara, would you agree that she should not be putting any labels on him? Mate, so keep in mind his. His birth father is not involved in his life and he has a whole lot of.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I'm sorry, what labels are we talking about?

[Bill]

You know, he shouldn't be going to church. We're a Christian family and we're very involved in church. He needs to stop going to church because he can't look God in the face and you know, he's a disappointment.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Oh, that's nonsense. You're not saying that kind of crap, Amber, are you?

[Amber]

Not to him you are.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, don't say it at all. Kids hear things and you slip. Don't give any of that crap. All the things that you've done in your life. I don't think God turned his face away from you. Come on.

[Bill]

That's right.

[Amber]

Okay. I'm just having a hard time, you know that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah. Your little boy gets erections. Girl made it easy. As my mother used to say, no man is going to throw a. See an available woman out of bed. That's just a reality you can all.

[Amber]

Very difficult world a parent in.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah, well, being a mother. Oh, no, honey. This has been going on for thousands of years. Nothing new here, dear.

[Amber]

It just seems easier. Dr. Laura, these girls are so easy.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I'm sorry, that is very true. But they have found nunneries all over Europe of dead babies buried under the nunneries. And those were nuns. They were married to Jesus. Okay. What? Your job is to tell your son if you create life, your responsibilities are there and mine to you end.

[Amber]

Okay, I will do that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

That's what I want you to say. That your son. This isn't the first time he's put it somewhere. Got news for you, dear.

[Bill]

Agreement.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

He's been masturbating and everything else. Okay. But the question is not to tell him he shouldn't be doing this because that's useless, but to explain to him the consequences of creating life. It's not just an orgasm. This is how God arranged it. That we create life. And that life is my grandchild. It's not just your kid, it's my grandchild. And I won't sit for that.

[Bill]

And for the sake of my wife hearing, I assume that you'd be okay with us talking about STDs and the implications there as well.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

They give them all that nonsense in school when they tell them it's okay if you feel like it. But first of all, Bill. Amber, just sit back. Bill, you've got to tell them. Because some girl says, don't worry, it's not the time in my cycle, I can't get pregnant. Don't worry, I'm on birth control. Assume she's lying. Tell him to assume she's lying and never to believe that that's how a lot of babies were made.

[Bill]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And tell her viruses, et cetera, sit in her vaginal canal for a very long time. You put your penis in there, it connects with that. You could spend the rest of your life with some kind of std. This is how you say it. You don't think you're going to give a lecture on STDs. You just tell them. The more vivid you are, you notice how vivid I'm being. You put your penis in her vagina. Her vagina is a space which is just holding all of these viruses, and you enter. And that could change your life. So, yeah, seven condoms up to your earlobes. Vivid, Bill. The more gross, the better. They remember it more.

[Bill]

And by the way, he and I have a good relationship, even though I'm a stepdaughter.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Good.

[Bill]

And we have a very open relationship.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Good. Well, he's not going to tell you. No, come on. He's not going to tell you guys everything. Neither one of you told your mom and dad everything. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[Bill]

Oh, I agree with that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, Bill, you're on it now.

[Amber]

Right between the lines.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And then you can let Amber cry in your arms at night and then have great sex.

[Amber]

Okay? Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I appreciate it.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're very, very welcome. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approv. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[Sponsor Voice]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance. Trucking is a big job, so Progressive is proud to offer truckers the coverage they need and discounts to help them save quote truck insurance in as little as seven minutes at progressive. Progressivecommercial.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Discounts not available in all states or situations.