Overcoming Death

Summary

The Dr. Laura Podcast – "Overcoming Death"

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Air Date: July 18, 2026
Episode Focus: Helping children cope with death, practical guidance for parents, and Dr. Laura’s compassionate advice on grief and resilience.

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Episode Overview

This episode is dedicated to an especially challenging topic for families: navigating conversations about death and grief, particularly with children. Dr. Laura draws from an article on kidshealth.org and her extensive experience to provide step-by-step advice for parents on how to address death honestly and supportively with children. The tone is direct, wise, and gently reassuring, emphasizing clarity, warmth, and practical support.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Children Process Death Uniquely

• [02:24] Dr. Laura emphasizes that every child has their own style of coping with death based on their age, closeness to the deceased, and prior familiarity with death.
  • "Kids cope just like people with everything in their own unique style. Depends how close they were to the person who died, how old they are, what familiarity they have with the concept, etc. So just listen. Just stay with the child. Just be warm."
    — Dr. Laura (02:38)
• Parents should not expect or demand a certain reaction—“Some cry, some ask questions, some just sit there and stare at you. It's all okay.”

2. Use Clear, Simple Language

• [03:00] Honesty and clarity are essential:
  • “Clarity. Be very warm. Be very simple and clear. For example, ‘I have sad news to tell you. Grandma died today.’”
    — Dr. Laura (03:12)
• Avoid euphemisms or ambiguous explanations.

3. Normalize Emotional Reactions

• [03:30] Encourage children to name their feelings, and share your own, modeling emotional openness:
  • “Put emotions into words like ‘I know you’re feeling very sad. I’m sad. Also, we loved Grandma. She loved us. We will miss her. We’re sad.’”
    — Dr. Laura (03:40)
• This gives children permission and language to process their emotions.

4. Explain What Happens Next

• [04:00] Children find comfort in knowing what will happen practically:
  • “Just clear, short, to the point, what's going to happen... You explain if something in particular is going to happen. Aunt Sarah will pick you up from school like Grandma used to.”
    — Dr. Laura (04:30)

5. Discuss Rituals and Funerals Openly

• [05:00] Dr. Laura asserts the importance of rituals across cultures and makes a personal recommendation:
  • “I particularly think children should not see corpses. I think their last memories of somebody should be when they were here and alive.”
    — Dr. Laura (05:25)
• Describe what to expect at services in a matter-of-fact way—children do best when they know what's coming.

6. Encourage Participation

• [08:29] Children cope better when they have a role:
  • “Give your child something to do. When kids participate, they handle things better. For example, at the services, the child can read a poem, pick a song... put some photographs together.”
    — Dr. Laura (08:40)
• It’s optional but often helps them feel involved and supported.

7. Ongoing Grief and Resilience

• [09:42] Grieving is a process, not a one-time conversation:
  • “Just let your kid know it takes time to feel better after someone dies... So just reassure them that this is normal. Let's talk about some wonderful things about Grandma.”
    — Dr. Laura (09:50)
• Keep routines as normal as possible to help children regain equilibrium.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I haven’t stuck around for over 50 years without earning some trust.”
  — Dr. Laura, humorously referencing her own credibility (06:04)

• “Grief is a process. It's not an event, it's not a discussion. And then it’s gone.”
  — Dr. Laura on the nature of coping (09:42)

• “Notice if your child spends a bit extra time sad, worried or upset... This is normal.”
  — Dr. Laura on the importance of vigilance and reassurance (09:42)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:24] — Introduction to discussing death with children
• [03:12] — Advice on clear, simple language for breaking the news
• [03:40] — Modeling and labeling emotions
• [04:30] — Explaining practical changes and what comes next
• [05:25] — On rituals, funerals, and Dr. Laura’s stance on viewings
• [08:29] — The value of involving children in rituals
• [09:42] — Acknowledging how grief unfolds and supporting routines

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Tone & Guidance

Dr. Laura’s tone remains empathetic, pragmatic, and gently directive—focused on empowering parents while recognizing their own discomfort and uncertainty. She underlines the vital importance of honesty, emotional literacy, and routines in helping children endure loss with resilience.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers actionable, heartfelt advice for any adult struggling to guide a child through the experience of death. Dr. Laura distills wisdom from decades of practice into a concise set of best practices: be clear, be present, give children words for their feelings, and reassure them that grief is a journey.

Transcript

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Today's mini harangue is about helping your child deal with death. Most adults don't know how to deal with death, but you got to be able to help your kids nonetheless. Found this article under kidshealth.org that I like. I like when it's short, sweet, to the point. So I'm just going to excerpt from this kids cope just like people with everything in their own unique style. Depends how close they were to the person who died, how old they are, what familiarity they have with the concept, etc. Etc. Etc. So I'm just going to give you the excerpts from this I think really good presentation on kidshealth.org when talking about death, as you've heard me say a million times, clarity. Be very warm. Be very simple and clear. For example, I have sad news to tell you. Grandma died today. Every child is going to react differently. Some cry, some ask questions, some just sit there and stare at you. It's all okay. Don't freak out at any one particular response because all kids are different. So just listen. Just stay with the child. Just be warm and like the movie Inside Out. Put emotions into words like I'm I'm guessing or I know you're feeling very sad. I'm sad. Also, we loved Grandma. She loved us. We will miss her. We're sad. So you give the child words to use with unlike how 99% of people misuse guilt. Talk about sad. Put emotions into words so kids can function with them. Tell your child what's going to happen now. If it's mommy or daddy. Boy, there's going to be some big changes in River City. If it's a great great great great grandparent, not so much unless they live there. So you explain if something in particular is going to happen. Aunt Sarah will pick you up from school like Grandma used to, or I need to stay with grandpa for a few days. You and dad will be home taking care of each other. I'll talk to you every day. I'll be back on Sunday. Just clear short, to the point what's going to happen? And then you talk about funerals and rituals. Rituals are very important to every culture ever. It's always had rituals for everything. I particularly think children should not see corpses. I think their last memories of somebody should be when they were here and alive. I don't think kids should see corpses.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

But you talk about services. People are going to pray and sing and talk about Grandma going to cry and their hug and they're going to say things I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences. These are polite things people say. And you say back, thank you. Thank you for coming. You can talk about burials, what that's about, and try to keep it dispassionate. Just say, this is what's going to happen. Children are very good on this is what's going to happen and describe how people are going to behave and what their responses should be. To be polite back Give your child something to do. When kids participate, they handle things better. For example, at the services, the child can read a poem, pick a song, either sing it or have somebody else play it, put some photographs together, make something they don't have to, but it's

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when kids are able to contribute something. Notice if your child spends a bit extra time sad, worried or upset. Just let your kid know it takes time to feel better after someone dies. Sometimes they have trouble concentrating or sleeping. Depends how close they were to the person. So just reassure them that this is normal. Let's talk about some wonderful things about Grandma. So grief is a process. It's not an event, it's not a discussion. And then it's gone. This is sort of an ongoing conversation. As kids cope and get back to being in a normalized routine in life and try to keep their routine as normal as possible, that really helps them. My number 1-800-375-2872.

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