Perfect Love

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Perfect Love"
Release Date: April 29, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Perfect Love," Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages with Robert and Colleen, a married couple celebrating 45 years of marriage. The conversation delves deep into the challenges they've faced following Robert's prostate cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment. This heartfelt discussion explores themes of love, resilience, intimacy, and the enduring strength of their relationship.

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Callers Introduce Their Story

Dr. Laura welcomes Robert and Colleen to the program:

Dr. Laura [01:26]: "How can I help you guys? You’re married 45 years and... Wow. And how old are you folks?"

Robert shares his medical journey:

Robert [01:36]: "I am 66 and my wife is 65."

Colleen expresses gratitude and sets the stage for their discussion:

Colleen [01:39]: "Correct. So the one thing that... We had four beautiful children. We've enjoyed a wonderful marriage. And this, this is, you know, it's changed a lot of things for us, the intimacy."

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Facing Prostate Cancer and Its Aftermath

Robert recounts his prostate cancer diagnosis and the severe side effects of his treatment:

Robert [01:44 – 02:43]: "Two years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. So then I had a robotic prostatectomy and once that was over with, there were severe leakage problems. So I ended up getting what is called an AUS, an artificial urinary sphincter, which is a cuff around the urethra reservoir in the abdomen and a pump in the scrotum. So you press that and the leakage comes out and blah, blah, blah. But one thing they never explained to me really is what's going to happen at the end. And it's completely life-changing because the sexual part of it is, for the most part, gone. I mean, what we were used to... I'm sure you know enough about this."

Dr. Laura shows her initial unfamiliarity with the AUS device:

Dr. Laura [02:43]: "But there's no AUS is news to me. That was, that's something I was not familiar with."

Robert explains the functionality of the AUS:

Robert [02:53 – 02:57]: "It keeps you to urinate and keeps you from urinating."

Colleen elaborates on the impact of the treatment on their lives:

Colleen [02:57 – 03:53]: "It solved the problem of leakage, which was, you know, great. But I have to tell you that it was a major life-changing event for Bob, of course, with the diagnosis, and we're grateful that the cancer's gone. Sorry, but the surgeon and the specialist that we went to really never explained to us prior to this exactly what we were going to be faced with. So we, you know, we had four beautiful children. We've enjoyed a wonderful marriage. And this, this is, you know, it's changed a lot of things for us, the intimacy."

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Impact on Intimacy and Marriage

Robert discusses the profound changes in their intimate life:

Robert [03:53 – 04:19]: "We still are, you know, intimate as much as we can be. But the sexual intercourse is something that will never ever happen again. I've gone through four different serums where you give you a penile injection. Those don't work, plus they hurt. So we're beyond that point. So now you know. I don't want to get too explicit."

Dr. Laura encourages openness to aid understanding:

Dr. Laura [04:19 – 04:23]: "But you know, okay, I'm okay with you getting explicit. I did years of sex therapy, so I can be explicit because it'll help me help you."

Robert continues to share the emotional toll:

Robert [07:00 – 07:07]: "And I've come to grips with it, that it's, you know, this is life from now on. It feels good to be touched, but what I used to enjoy, I will never have again. So it's, you know, it's. It's a difficult situation, but I've come to grips with it. And I just hope some other people out there can hear this and say, you know, if you have a loving wife for as long as I have, and let me tell you, my wife Colleen, has done everything in the world to keep me from falling into a rabbit's hole with depression because of this. And she's just the most wonderful woman in the world. And I hope anybody else going through this has the same partner, but, you know, this is our life now. This is what it is."

Colleen reflects on the changes:

Colleen [08:06 – 08:27]: "It's hard to see this with Bob because he was. We had a great sex life. We were very active and thought we would be so, you know, till the day we died."

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Coping and Maintaining Love

Dr. Laura praises their relationship and offers advice:

Dr. Laura [08:30 – 09:29]: "You still have the most precious, deepest love I have heard in a long time till the day you die. You guys are fine. Sorry you're going through this, but if there were ever any two people who would survive this and not lose their love for each other, it's the two of you. You two are amazing."

Robert shares his coping mechanism through humor:

Robert [09:29 – 09:55]: "You know, I do that a lot. I really do. I'm kind of a humorous guy. And sometimes she says, you gotta quit making fun of yourself because... I put a lot of jokes into it."

Dr. Laura encourages mutual humor as a coping strategy:

Dr. Laura [09:55 – 10:19]: "Good. And I think Colleen has to learn to start laughing at them and make some of her own. You're gonna be very fine. You guys are fine. ..."

Robert and Colleen express their gratitude and love:

Robert [10:19 – 10:35]: "She is amazing. Well, you know, thanks for letting us come on here with you."

Dr. Laura concludes with a heartfelt endorsement of their marriage:

Dr. Laura [10:35 – 10:42]: "Don't stop fooling around. It's not the same, but it is fun. ..."

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Dr. Laura's Reflection: The Perfect Marriage

After the emotional exchange, Dr. Laura reflects on Robert and Colleen's relationship, highlighting it as an exemplar of a "perfect marriage":

Dr. Laura [10:42 – 10:46]: "That is an example of a perfect marriage. Seriously. Even though they can't do regulation. ... This is the perfect marriage. You heard it here."

She emphasizes that a perfect marriage exists when partners love and support each other through adversity, maintaining their bond without turning against one another.

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Conclusion

In this poignant episode, Robert and Colleen exemplify unwavering love and commitment in the face of significant personal and health challenges. Their story underscores the importance of mutual support, humor, and adaptability in sustaining a long-term marriage. Dr. Laura Schlessinger celebrates their resilience, offering listeners a powerful narrative of enduring love and partnership.

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Notable Quotes

• Robert [07:00]: "I've come to grips with it, that it's, you know, this is life from now on."
• Colleen [08:27]: "We had a great sex life. We were very active and thought we would be so, you know, till the day we died."
• Dr. Laura [08:30]: "You still have the most precious, deepest love I have heard in a long time till the day you die."
• Robert [09:29]: "I'm kind of a humorous guy. And sometimes she says, you gotta quit making fun of yourself."
• Dr. Laura [10:42]: "This is the perfect marriage. You heard it here."

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Key Takeaways

• Resilience in Marriage: Robert and Colleen demonstrate that enduring love can withstand significant life changes and health challenges.
• Communication and Humor: Open communication and the ability to find humor in difficult situations are vital coping mechanisms.
• Support Systems: The unwavering support of a partner can prevent depression and foster a strong, loving relationship.
• Redefining Intimacy: While physical intimacy may change, emotional intimacy and other forms of connection remain essential.

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This episode serves as an inspiring testament to the power of love and commitment, offering valuable insights for listeners navigating similar challenges in their relationships.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Robert]

Hello, Dr. Laura.

[Colleen]

Hi, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi.

[Colleen]

Thanks for taking our call.

[Dr. Laura]

How can I. You guys are married 45 years and. Wow. And how old are you folks?

[Robert]

I am 66 and my wife is 65.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, who would like to introduce our subject for today?

[Robert]

I could start with it. Two years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. So then I had a robotic prostectomy and once that was over with, there was severe leakage problems. So I ended up getting what is called an aus, an artificial urinary sphincter, which is a cuff around the urethra reservoir in the abdomen and a pump in the scrotum. So you press that and the leakage comes out and blah, blah, blah. But the one thing that, I mean, they never, they never explained to me really what really is gonna happen at the end. And it's completely life changing because the sexual part of it is for the most part gone. I mean, what we were used to. I'm sure you know enough about this.

[Dr. Laura]

But there's no AUS is news to me that that was, that's something I was not familiar with.

[Robert]

It keeps you to urinate and keeps you from urinating.

[Colleen]

Correct. So it solved the problem of leakage, which was, you know, great. But I have to tell you that it was a major a major life changing event for Bob, of course, with the diagnosis and we're grateful that the cancer's gone. Sorry, but the surgeon and the specialist that we went to really never explained to us prior to this exactly what we were going to be faced with. So we, you know, we had four beautiful children. We've enjoyed a wonderful marriage. And this, this is, you know, it's changed a lot of things for us, the intimacy.

[Robert]

We still are, you know, intimate as much as we can be. But the sexual intercourse is something that will never ever happen again. I've gone through four different serums where you give you a penile injection. Those don't work, plus they hurt. So we're beyond that point. So now you know. I don't want to get too explicit.

[Dr. Laura]

But you know, okay, I'm okay with you getting explicit. I did years of sex therapy, so I be explicit because it'll help me help you. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor. All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clearance is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free clear.

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[Robert]

I can still make my wife feel like a woman, if you know what I mean.

[Colleen]

I'm satisfied in that sense, but it.

[Robert]

I can't get there.

[Colleen]

It saddens me that, okay, so manually.

[Dr. Laura]

Orally, there is no way you can reach an orgasm.

[Colleen]

No.

[Robert]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

Does it at least.

[Robert]

And if I do, it's called a dry orgasm. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it does. And that's, you know, and I've come to grips with it, that it's, you know, this is life from now on. It feels good to be touched, but what I used to enjoy, I will never have again. So it's, you know, it's. It's a difficult situation, but I've come to grips with it. And I just hope some other people out there can hear this and say, you know, if you have a loving wife for as long as I have, and let me tell you, my wife Colleen, has done everything in the world to keep me from falling into a rabbit's hole with depression because of this. And she's just the most wonderful woman in the world. And I hope anybody else going through this has the same partner, but, you know, this is our life now. This is. This is what it is.

[Colleen]

It's. It's hard to see this. It's hard to see this with Bob because he was. We had a great sex life. We were very active and thought we would be so, you know, till the day we died.

[Robert]

That's where we're at.

[Dr. Laura]

You still have the most precious, deepest love I have heard in a long time till the day you die.

[Robert]

We do.

[Colleen]

We do. We do. And we're blessed with that. It's, you know, it's one of those things. I feel bad for Bob. I really do. I feel. I feel terrible that he was, you know, unfortunate enough to get cancer, but I'm so grateful that he doesn't have it anymore. It was. It was life changing. All of it was life changing. And this is. This is the final outcome. His health is good.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, you have one. One more step to take. And this is going to sound nuts. This is going to sound so nuts. You've got to get to the point of making jokes about it.

[Robert]

You know, I do that a lot. I really do.

[Dr. Laura]

Excellent.

[Robert]

I'm kind of a humorous guy. And sometimes she says, you gotta quit making fun of yourself because.

[Dr. Laura]

No, no, Colleen. Instead of every day going, oh, you poor man. To stop that. Just stop it. He's still your man.

[Robert]

I put a lot of jokes into it.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. And I think Colleen has to learn to start laughing at them and make some of her own. You're gonna be very fine. You guys are fine. Sorry you're going through this, but if there were ever any two people who would survive this and not lose their love for each other, it's the two of you. You two are amazing.

[Robert]

She is amazing.

[Colleen]

Well, thank you, doctor.

[Dr. Laura]

No, you too. Two or t o o. You too, Robert. You guys are great.

[Robert]

For years and years. Well, you know, thanks for letting us come on here with you.

[Dr. Laura]

Don't stop fooling around. It's not the same, but it is fun. Okay.

[Robert]

All right, I'm gonna go home and do that right now.

[Dr. Laura]

All right, Colleen, go get ready. That is an example of a perfect marriage. Seriously. Even though they can't do regulation. And of course, you just heard A perfect marriage. I'm so grateful they came on the program. Perfect marriage. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage. Yes, there is. You just heard it. In spite. In spite. They love each other and take care of each other. They didn't turn on each other. They're facing it together. This is the perfect marriage. You heard it here. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Uh oh, the last cookie.

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