
Samantha reflects on a confusing emotional experience, unsure whether she was genuinely diminished by the interaction or simply encountered a man whose weakness and insecurity shaped the outcome after she took the initiative to ask him out. Got a dilemma? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com - Listen to The Dr. Laura Program daily on SiriusXM Triumph 123.
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Caller Samantha
JP Morgan Chase bank and a member
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FDIC subject to credit approval.
Dr. Laura
Thanks for listening to my call of the Day, brought to you by my new sponsor, Angel. Angel is a streaming platform built around stories that uplift stories about courage and sacrifice and faith and family. If you've been looking for entertainment that reflects your values, check out angel. Go to angel.comdrlora Entertainment you can feel good about. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 7@drlaura.com Samantha welcome to the program.
Caller Samantha
Hello Dr. Laura. Good afternoon. Thank you so much for taking my call.
Dr. Laura
You're very welcome.
Caller Samantha
Okay, so I'll give you some quick background and then I will jump into my question. Okay.
Dr. Laura
Super duper.
Caller Samantha
I am a 57 year old single lady, never married, no kids. And, and I know in kind of recent months you've talked a lot about the kind of importance of direct communication. So that might be exactly the answer that I need from you. Okay, so okay, know this, I know this man casually through some kind of professional interactions. I knew enough to know that he was unmarried. I didn't fairly certain he had no girlfriend. So during a conversation with him I kind of, you know, mentioned to him perhaps we might like to socialize, maybe go out to dinner sometime. And like I said, I had kind of, you know, tested the waters a bit before I did that. Well, his response was a very kind of kind of curt brush off, borderline kind of rude, very, very uncomfortable and then kind of terse.
Dr. Laura
And you thanks for all the dramatic picture of it. Can you just stop for a second and tell me what he said?
Caller Samantha
Okay, so I said hey, I was thinking, you know, thought it might be nice for the two of us sometime to go out to dinner. Just go out and have some fun. And I just wanted to mention that to you today. And he said, oh, yeah, okay, yeah, no, I don't know, whatever. Maybe I've got your number. See you later. Bye. And then kind of rushed away from me very, very quickly, ended the conversation very, very quickly.
Dr. Laura
Okay, what did we learn about him in that moment?
Caller Samantha
Okay, again, I've analyzed this so much. He was very nervous, very uncomfortable. Didn't know how to respond. I don't know. To maybe a woman asking him out. I don't know. Then again, this is where all the analyzing starts. I don't know.
Dr. Laura
The point is, he could. The point is he was not rude. He was scared. And we learned something about him. He's not a strong man. He's not a confident man. He's not a communicative man. Put those three together and he in no way is the man you want to date.
Caller Samantha
Okay?
Dr. Laura
So it isn't a matter. It's only a matter of when you interact with somebody, how they handle themselves tells you a lot about their psychology. And he's not in a great place. Okay,
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The day begins at the Chase Sapphire lounge by the club. At Boston Logan Airport, you get the clam chowder. In San Diego, it's Tostadas, New York. Espresso martini. It's 10:00am why not? It's the quiet before your next flight. The shower that resets your day. The men that lets you know where you are. This is access to over 1300 airport lounges and every Sapphire lounge by the club. And one card that gets you in. Chase Sapphire Reserve. Now even more rewarding. Learn more@chase.com Sapphire Reserve cards issued by
Caller Samantha
JP Morgan Chase bank and a member
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FDIC, subject to credit approval.
Caller Samantha
So.
Dr. Laura
So my date. He's not somebody you wish to date?
Caller Samantha
Yeah. Ultimately, that tells me, yeah, you're right. Because I was thinking to myself, do I need to stand up for myself
Dr. Laura
and say to him, there's nothing to stand up for? What are you talking about? This wasn't an attack on you and that's something you better sit on because if that's going to be your reaction in these situations, you're going to get yourself in trouble. You have to be able to look at his response as him, not you.
Caller Samantha
Yeah, and I absolutely do. And I, and I hear what you're talking about.
Dr. Laura
No, you didn't. No, the reason I'm saying that is because you didn't. I need to stand up for myself. You weren't attacked. There's nothing to stand up for. His reaction had nothing to do with who you are. Nothing.
Caller Samantha
You know, Dr. Laura, when you get to be a certain age and you get beaten down in these types of situations, at my age, as you've mentioned
Dr. Laura
before, you were not beaten down. Stop.
Caller Samantha
It becomes harder to meet people.
Dr. Laura
Oh, my God. Are you just going to keep talking?
Caller Samantha
No, I'm, I'm going to stop.
Dr. Laura
You were not beaten down. You found out he's a weak guy. How else do you find out if not having these initial interactions? And at your age, you're going to find a lot of. At your age, you're going to find a lot of these because the reason they're single, if somebody hasn't died on them, they have failure in a marriage or they have some psychological problems and committing is just something they can't face. So these initial interactions are not about beating you down. It's about you being an investigator and seeing if this guy, whichever guy it is, is worthwhile. And you're going to find the preponderance are not.
Caller Samantha
And I gave myself credit to be honest, to the fact that I extended myself at all to ask him in the first place. It's nerve wracking to do any of that kind of interaction. And I know, again, that's all on me. I hear you extend yourself to somebody. Their response is. Their response.
Dr. Laura
No, that's not what I said. Their response tells you something you need to know to make a final decision as to whether or not it would be worthwhile to pursue.
Caller Samantha
Okay. Yeah, got to take that in. Got to feel that. Yep.
Dr. Laura
Dating is to discern whether or not it's a good man and a reasonable match. That's what dating is for.
Caller Samantha
Yes, you're right.
Dr. Laura
It's not a guarantee.
Caller Samantha
Okay, thank you so much. Thank you. I needed to hear that. Thank you.
Dr. Laura
So go get a manicure and relax. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Sirius XM Triumph Is life presenting you with challenges?
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Dr. Laura
Call 1-800- Dr. Laura no nonsense advice about relationships, marriage, kids, tough love. It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility. Inspiration. Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive one. That's your new rule. Dr. Laura Weekdays at 2pm east on SiriusXM Triumph 123 and on the SiriusXM app.
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Caller Samantha
JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member
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FDIC subject to credit approval.
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The Dr. Laura Podcast – “Questioning Strength or Insecurity”
Date: June 10, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Samantha
In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Samantha, a 57-year-old single woman navigating the uncertainties of dating later in life. Samantha seeks insight after inviting a man to dinner and receiving a dismissive response. The conversation centers on interpreting others’ reactions, understanding what they reveal about character, and separating personal worth from external responses. Dr. Laura offers candid, direct advice aimed at helping listeners approach relationships with confidence and clarity.
[01:20 – 03:00]
[03:00 – 03:46]
[05:11 – 06:08]
[06:12 – 07:05]
[07:05 – 07:41]
[07:41 – 07:54]
Dr. Laura’s direct, practical advice empowers listeners to approach relationships with honesty, resilience, and self-respect, reminding us that every interaction is an opportunity to learn, not a referendum on our worth.