Questioning the Future of a Relationship

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Questioning the Future of a Relationship
Date: June 22, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Mitch

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on Mitch, a 37-year-old father navigating a fast-growing romantic relationship and questioning whether his intense feelings are genuine or the product of infatuation. Dr. Laura offers her signature direct, “no-nonsense” perspective, focusing on emotional maturity, the realities of rekindled relationships, and the priority of parenting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background of the Caller

• Mitch (37), father to a 16-year-old daughter, has been dating a woman (35) for four to five months.
• The woman, “never married, no kids,” was an ex-girlfriend from when they were both 18 (03:35).
• Mitch’s daughter lives with him full-time.

2. Question: Is This Love or Infatuation?

• Mitch worries about how quickly his emotions for his girlfriend have evolved and wonders if he should slow down (02:49).

• Dr. Laura’s Core Point:

  “When emotions travel fast, they're fake. It's more neediness and fantasy. It's not real because it really does take a couple of years to know somebody, to really be awestruck and impressed and things that evolve into love. So this is not love, this is infatuation.”
  — Dr. Laura (03:00)

• She notes that quick intensity is often about “neediness and fantasy, not real love.”

3. On Past Relationships and Maturity

• Mitch mentions dating this woman at 18, reigniting their relationship decades later (03:35).

• Dr. Laura directly challenges the assumption that their past connection fast-tracks true intimacy:

  “You think you're the same man at 37 with the experiences of a failed relationship and a teenage daughter? ...You think she's the same person she was as a teenager?”
  — Dr. Laura (03:47)

• Mitch admits that both have changed a lot since their teen romance.

• Dr. Laura’s Advice:
  The relationship needs to “start from zero, not a year.” Past connection doesn’t substitute for new, cautious discovery as mature adults (04:16).

4. Role as a Father vs. New Relationship

• Mitch asks for strategies to slow himself down emotionally, acknowledging his efforts to keep busy and focus elsewhere (04:22).

• Dr. Laura shifts the focus:

  “You have a 16-year-old daughter who does not need your emotions to be all screwed up with some woman. You owe her being her father first, not a confused lover first.”
  — Dr. Laura (04:32)

• The emotional wellbeing of his daughter must come before new romantic entanglements. She warns:

  “She doesn't need to lose part of you with lovish dovish insanity. She lost her family. She needs you. She doesn't need to compete with your fantasy about this woman.” (04:32)

• Practical Advice: See the new girlfriend “maybe once a week” (Dr. Laura, 04:32). When the daughter is 18 and moved out, then consider deepening the romantic commitment.

• Notable Maxim:

  “Your first and foremost priority is your daughter. She doesn’t need you to be all distracted...Basically, it is the truth.”
  — Dr. Laura (08:33)

5. Communicating Boundaries to the New Partner

• Mitch is encouraged to be transparent with his girlfriend about his priorities:
  • Tell her that, while he got caught up in “lovey dovey,” his role as a father comes first.
  • Dr. Laura assures him this levelheadedness is not just her view, but that his girlfriend actually said something similar (08:56).

6. Looking Ahead: Patience and Priorities

• Dr. Laura underscores the importance of “time” as the single greatest factor in determining the true nature and viability of this relationship (08:23).
• Suggests revisiting the relationship in a couple of years—after his daughter reaches adulthood—before making significant decisions (09:21).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the Danger of Fast Love:

  “When emotions travel fast, they're fake. It's more neediness and fantasy. It's not real... This is not love, this is infatuation.”
  — Dr. Laura (03:00)

• On Parental Responsibility:

  “You owe her being her father first, not a confused lover first.”
  — Dr. Laura (04:32)

• Insightful Challenge:

  “The relationship needs to start from zero, not a year.”
  — Dr. Laura (04:16)

• Setting Boundaries:

  “See her about once a week and chat during the week.”
  — Dr. Laura (08:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:46-02:49 — Mitch introduces his situation
• 03:00-03:35 — Dr. Laura’s perspective on fast-moving emotions
• 03:35-04:16 — Exploring impacts of rekindled young love and changed circumstances
• 04:22-05:40 — Parenting comes first, emotional impact on the daughter
• 08:23-08:33 — Specific guidance: see girlfriend once a week
• 08:56-09:29 — Recap and affirmation from both sides

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Tone and Content Style

Dr. Laura’s signature approach is present throughout: direct, candid, prioritizing family and self-respect above instant gratification. The episode is compassionate yet unsparing, focused on “common sense” and the big-picture consequences of adult decisions.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Infatuation and rapid emotional acceleration are not a substitute for slow-burn, “real” love.
• Previous relationship history does not grant immunity from the need to build trust and connection anew as different, older individuals.
• Parenting must take precedence over new relationships, especially when a child has already experienced familial upheaval.
• Transparency and communication of priorities to a new partner are essential—and sometimes welcome and agreed upon by both sides.
• Patience is crucial: let relationships evolve at a natural pace and let current important family roles lead your decisions.

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This episode serves as a practical blueprint for single parents wondering how to balance budding romance and the permanency of their responsibilities at home. Dr. Laura’s advice: “Don’t confuse neediness for love, and always be a parent first.”

Transcript

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Podcast Host / Announcer]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

with me [e-mail] Mitch, welcome to the program.

[Mitch (Caller)]

Hey, Dr. Laura. I've been listening for about a year and a half now. I'll kind of just. I don't know what I'm hoping to get from this phone call, but I'll kind of jump right into it if that's okay with you.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Yes, please.

[Mitch (Caller)]

So I've been seeing this woman for about four or five months now.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

How old are you? How old is she?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Either one of you Married?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Divorced. With kids?

[Mitch (Caller)]

I'm 37. I have one kid from a previous relationship. She's 35, no kids, never been divorced.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

And how old is your child?

[Mitch (Caller)]

16.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

16. And how often do you see her?

[Mitch (Caller)]

So she lives with me full time.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Okay, so you've been seeing this woman for four months.

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

And

[Mitch (Caller)]

I'm kind of struggling with how fast my emotions grew. And I don't know if you think I should kind of step back or. I don't know.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Well, Mitch, to be truthful, to be truthful, sir. When emotions travel fast, they're fake. It's more neediness and fantasy. It's not real because it really does take a couple of years to know somebody, to really be awestruck and impressed and things that evolve into love. So this is not love, this is infatuation. Maybe the sex is great, I don't know. But when emotions happen quickly, they're not real.

[Mitch (Caller)]

Okay, so we have experience. We were together for about a year back when we were 18.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Back when you were 16.

[Mitch (Caller)]

18.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

18. So you think you're the same man at 37 with the experiences of a failed relationship and a teenage daughter? She has not had any experiences. Nonetheless, you think you're as mature as you were at 18?

[Mitch (Caller)]

No, definitely not.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Do you think you're.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Do you think woohoo.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Woohoo. Do you think she's the same person she was as a teenager?

[Mitch (Caller)]

No, definitely not. In ways yes, but predominantly no.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

That that's why the relationship needs to start from zero, not a year.

[Mitch (Caller)]

Okay, so how do I step back? Like how do I slow down? Because I've tried keeping busy and I've tried doing the things that I love.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

You have a 16 year old daughter who does not need your emotions to be all screwed up with some woman. You owe her being her father first, not a confused lover first. So the first thing you need to do is keep that in mind. She doesn't need to lose part of you with lovish dovish insanity. She lost her family. She needs you. She doesn't need to compete with your fantasy about this woman. So the first way to answer your question is you have to focus on being her dad first, which means you see this other woman maybe once a week. When Your daughter is 18 and up and out, we can be more focused, but that's a couple of years from now and that would be a good amount of time to get to know somebody. As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Mitch (Caller)]

So time Time is yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

Oh yes. So see her about once a week and chat during the week.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And tell this new lady that you

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

got all into being lovey dovey. But in truth, your first and foremost priority is your daughter. She doesn't need you to be all and she doesn't need you to be all distracted. The truth. Basically, it is the truth.

[Mitch (Caller)]

Yeah, you're right she kind of said the same thing a whole time. Right? Like. Yeah, to give up more time. Okay, well that's, that's a good thing to obviously what I need to focus on more than.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Advice Voice)]

At this point and in a couple of years, you know, call me back with her.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

My number 1-800-375-2872.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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