Seeking Validation Entering Estrangement

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Seeking Validation Entering Estrangement
Date: June 21, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Angie

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura speaks with Angie, a mother grappling with the decision to cut contact with her adult son after a series of betrayals and manipulations. The conversation delves into the complexities of family estrangement, parental guilt, and the pursuit of self-respect when enforced boundaries come at a steep personal cost—potentially losing contact with grandchildren. Dr. Laura provides her signature no-nonsense advice, challenging Angie to confront uncomfortable truths and prioritize her own well-being.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Family Background and Sibling Dynamics

• Angie’s Family Structure:

  • Three children: son (35), daughter (32), youngest daughter (29)

• Personality Differences:

  • Oldest and youngest: Similar, described as less gentle, more self-focused
  • Middle child: Sweet, forgiving, an attentive parent

• Sibling and Parental Relationships:

  • All children have connections to their father’s business despite strained relationships
  • Family described as dysfunctional, with ongoing anger and lack of kindness among siblings

  "The oldest and the youngest are more alike. They... They're just all about getting what they need and what they want."
  – Angie, [03:21]

2. Divorce, Custody Battles, and Wealth Dynamics

• Fraught History:

  • Angie and her ex-husband divorced when the children were young
  • Multiple costly and contentious custody battles; Angie alleges the final custody outcome was unfairly influenced by her ex’s wealthy family

  "He just had a lot of money and a lot of power... I couldn't fight that. I was tired of fighting."
  – Angie, [09:46]

• Impact on Children:

  • Children lived with their father post-custody, described by Angie as “hell”
  • Particularly harsh take-it-or-leave-it ultimatums given to children about remaining loyal to their father

3. Current Conflict: Medical Privacy and Betrayal

• Angie’s Health Crisis:

  • Recently diagnosed with cancer

• Boundary Violation:

  • Her children, especially her son, demand access to her full medical records
  • When she declines, her son forges a doctor’s request to gain unauthorized access

  "My son forged a document pretending to be a... a doctor in Denver."
  – Angie, [11:19]

4. Seeking Accountability and Consequences

• Legal/Institutional Reaction:

  • Angie reports the forgery to the hospital; legal was involved, and she was given the choice to press charges or not

• Dr. Laura’s Direct Challenge:

  • Dr. Laura bluntly labels Angie's son as manipulative, challenging Angie on her willingness to set and enforce boundaries

  "He's a manipulative shit. He got away with it. You already know who he is."
  – Dr. Laura, [12:40]

5. The Central Emotional Dilemma: Grandchildren vs. Self-Respect

• Angie’s Internal Struggle:

  • The prospect of losing her grandchildren’s presence weighs heavily
  • Dr. Laura insists Angie must prioritize: accept poor treatment to maintain access to grandkids, or enforce boundaries and risk estrangement

  "If your priority is the grandkids, then you're going to have to eat a lot of shit and be okay with that."
  – Dr. Laura, [13:29]

• Angie’s Decision:

  • Despite the pain, Angie says she is “okay” letting go of both her son and, reluctantly, her grandchildren

  "I am okay losing my grandkids. I am."
  – Angie, [14:23]

6. Dr. Laura’s Guidance and Takeaways

• Validation and Tough Love:

  • Dr. Laura acknowledges the emotional difficulty and affirms Angie’s right to end the relationship
  • She remarks on the particular pain mothers experience in coming to terms with a child’s irredeemable behavior

  "I'm sorry you have to ask the question. It seems obvious, except emotionally, it's tough because you have to admit he's a shit, and that's the end of it. And that's hard for a mother to do."
  – Dr. Laura, [14:39]

• Pragmatic Medical Advice:

  • Suggests as an aside: testing genetics for cancer risk can be accomplished via DNA, not full medical records. Kids do not need all those details.

  "All they need is your DNA and they can see if you have a potential."
  – Dr. Laura, [15:54]

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura Dismantles Denial:

  "You have to be truthful with yourself as to who he is. So if you're going to take this moment to be truthful with yourself as to who and what he is, tell me, who and what is he?"
  – Dr. Laura, [13:00]

• Angie’s Painful Admission:

  "He's a narcissist. He's... he's a bad person. It's... It's the grandkids. That is... is my grandkids."
  – Angie, [13:14]

• Dr. Laura's No-Nonsense Litmus Test:

  "If you want to eat shit so you can see the grandkids, eat shit. Give them the records and move along."
  – Dr. Laura, [13:29]

• The Emotional Crux:

  "It was hard to go back and forth quietly. But let me just say, give a sample of blood, they'll check the DNA. They'll find out if there are genes for certain kind of cancer... But give a sample of blood to here, check it, see if I have it. Check your own blood, see if you have it. Really doesn't... In the old days, they needed to see your information. They don't need to see it anymore."
  – Dr. Laura, [15:02]

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Important Timestamps

• [02:12] – Angie reveals decision to cut off her son
• [04:10] – Family dynamic and children’s relationships described
• [05:22] – Custody battles and claims of corruption
• [09:46] – Middle child pressured by father, family coercion
• [11:19] – Son’s forgery of medical documents
• [12:40] – Dr. Laura’s blunt diagnosis of the son’s character
• [13:29–14:23] – Discussion of the grandchildren dilemma and Angie’s ultimate decision
• [15:02] – Dr. Laura clarifies DNA vs. record sharing for medical risks

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Summary & Takeaway

This episode is a case study in the agony of parental estrangement and the boundaries parents must draw with adult children when those relationships become abusive and harmful. Dr. Laura provides unwavering, clear-eyed advice—validating Angie’s pain, while refusing to sugarcoat the reality of her son’s behavior or the consequences of Angie's choices. The takeaway: prioritizing self-respect sometimes means accepting the loss of family connections, even (or especially) when it feels devastating.

Listeners are left with Dr. Laura's signature brand of “tough love,” encouraging them to face hard truths, drop denial, and draw lines where necessary to preserve personal dignity.

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Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Angie]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call. I really. I really value your advice and I've been listening for quite a while. I don't know exactly where to start because there is some backstory. So maybe I'll just ask my question and then if you have any other questions for me, I can answer them.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, good.

[Angie]

I've made the decision to cut ties with my. My oldest child, my son.

[Dr. Laura]

And how many kids do you have and how old are they?

[Angie]

I have three. The oldest is 35 and then I have one that is 32 and then one that is 29.

[Dr. Laura]

And what are the major differences between them all? Characterize them.

[Angie]

My son is. I truly don't know where he starts and stops and where his dad. They're so much the same person to me.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, different question. Angie, you have three kids. I just want you to describe their similarities and differences. Leave out other people.

[Angie]

All right. The oldest and the youngest are More alike. They. More. Not as gentle or as kind or as, you know, they're just all about getting what they need and what they want, kind of. And then my middle child is more. Sweet and forgiving and a really good parent.

[Dr. Laura]

And how do the three get. And how do the three get along with each other?

[Angie]

They don't very well. My two daughters actually work for their dad. And then my son is also a businessman partner with him. And so. But they. I don't know why they keep staying. I don't know why they keep working for him because they. They don't have anything nice to say about him. And so I, I don't understand that, but I can't change that either.

[Dr. Laura]

I. I just want to make sure I understand what you're saying. The youngest and the oldest are not kind to their dad who employs them, sort of.

[Angie]

No, they're not. They're not kind to like each other. They're. They. They're really kind of angry and there's a lot of. There's a lot of.

[Dr. Laura]

How did they get to be that way? How did the oldest of the.

[Angie]

How.

[Dr. Laura]

How were they parented that they got to be the way where they could express that kind of bad behavior and get away with it? How were they parented by you and their dad?

[Angie]

We got divorced when they were very young and we had three custody. We would. He would, he would sue for custody or. Yeah, he wanted full custody. And we would go through the hearing and there would be a guardian outlight him. And the guardian Litemor would be like, no, they're too young. They need to stay with their mom. And then literally within two or three weeks, he would file again. And on the third time. His family is. Very, very wealthy and they just. I think they got tired of messing around with it and they wanted what they wanted. And so, so my attorney, this is 25 years ago, it's a tiny little town. He said, there's a rumor going around that your ex husband uncle bought the guardian at Litem a boat. And we went from the same ruling two times in a row to all of a sudden, within a year and a half, he changed his mind. And he said, you know, their dad can now have primary custody. And so my three children, sorry if I get emotional, went to live with their dad. It was hell, basically.

[Dr. Laura]

And how did the middle child avoid getting sucked in? As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources

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[Dr. Laura]

Ladies. If you're in that phase where your body's just doing new things, sleep's weird, energy's weird, cravings also weird, you're not alone. It's totally normal. Menopause and perimenopause just means your body needs a little support. And sprouts makes that support easier so you can start feeling more like you. Tons of fresh organic produce for fiber, sprouts, protein and creatine to keep your muscles and bones strong and your energy up. And supplements that can help you manage mood shifts. So whether it's perimenopause, menopause, or any other health journey, it's easier at Sprouts Farmer's Market.

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[Dr. Laura]

Here's some common sense advice. Your body needs support to function properly, including your vaginal health. And that includes maintaining a healthy PH balance. New Azo Vaginal Probiotic Mini Chews helps keep that healthy bacterial balance, and that helps keep yeast and odor in check. It's great tasting, easy to take, and no pill means no water. That makes it simple to add to your daily routine. And simplicity is how good habits stick. Visit azoproducts.com for product details, usage instructions, and safety information.

[Angie]

She didn't. It was really hard on her. She wanted to come and live with me when she was in high school and her dad said, if you go, your brother and sister are dead to you and you will never be welcome back in our home. And I. It was. It was just crazy. It sounds so crazy to even say out loud, but he's just. He just had a lot of Money and a lot of power and a lot of. Was never told no. And I'm talking, like, millions and millions and millions of dollars where they could fly their own plane and a company plane, and it was just. I couldn't. I couldn't fight that I didn't have millions of dollars to throw it at this place. I was tired. I was tired of fighting.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, I can certainly see that. So your question today is what?

[Angie]

Yeah, well, I got diagnosed with cancer. And my kids wanted. Long story short, they wanted access to all of my personal medical records, and I told them why.

[Dr. Laura]

Why? What do they want to do with your records?

[Angie]

I guess they didn't like the diagnosis that I told them. I think what they wanted is they wanted to make sure that they could do anything possible to not make sure that they got cancer. I mean, I think they just wanted access to everything that I was medically going through. And when I told them no, my son forged a document pretending to be a. A doctor in Denver.

[Disneyland Kids Promo Voice]

Did you.

[Dr. Laura]

Did you give this over to the district attorney and have him arrested?

[Angie]

I did give it over to the hospital because. And they legal did get involved, and it was my choice to either push it forward or let it go. And.

[Dr. Laura]

And you caved.

[Angie]

No. Well, I. I gave it to them. And I. I told my son. I said I'm. That I'm done. I don't want you to contact me. I don't want you to.

[Dr. Laura]

Andy, as sad as this all is, how can I help you today?

[Angie]

I just want to make sure. Because he'll reach out and he'll.

[Dr. Laura]

One question. He's a manipulative shit. He got away with it. You already know who he is. I don't even know who he is. And I know from what you're saying who he is, so. You know who he is. So I know he's your son, but you have to be truthful with yourself as to who.

[Angie]

Shh.

[Dr. Laura]

You have to be truthful with yourself as to who he is. So if you're going to take this moment to be truthful with yourself as to who and what he is, tell me, who and what is he?

[Angie]

He's a narcissist. He's. He's. He's a bad person. It's. It's the grandkids. That is my. Is my grandkids.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, then stop crying. Stop. If you want to eat shit so you can see the grandkids, eat shit. Give them the records and move along. Because I just needed to know what your priority was. If your priority is the grandkids, then you're going to have to eat a lot of shit and be okay with that because you want to see the grandkids. And if it really means you can see the grandkids, then it's a good deal for you.

[Angie]

I'm not okay with that. I'm not.

[Dr. Laura]

You're not. I'm sorry. You're not okay with what?

[Angie]

I'm not okay. I'm okay letting. I mean, as hard as it is, I'm okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Finish one sentence at a time. Are you okay? Oh, my gosh. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't. Do you hear you? Do you hear me?

[Angie]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

What is your priority? Is your priority because you just threw it in. It's the grandkids, so I assumed you don't want to lose your grandkids.

[Angie]

No, I said I am okay losing my grandkids. I am.

[Dr. Laura]

It was okay then. Then, yes, ma'.

[Angie]

Am.

[Dr. Laura]

Then, yes, you can cut him off.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

And I'm sorry you have to ask the question. It seems obvious, except emotionally, it's tough because you have to admit he's a shit, and that's the end of it. And that's hard for a mother to do.

[Angie]

It is.

[Dr. Laura]

It is. But it depends how much more beating up you want to get. My number. 1-800-375-2872. And she was very emotionally upset, so it was hard to go back and forth quietly. But let me just say, give a sample of blood, they'll check the DNA. They'll find out if there are genes for certain kind of cancer. I think it's a fine thing for everybody to do to hand over to their kids. They don't need all your health records of how many times you got STIs. UTIs. Sorry, UTIs. But give a sample of blood to here, check it, see if I have it. Check your own blood, see if you have it really doesn't. In the old days, they needed to see your information. They don't need to see it anymore. All they need is your blood. All they need is your DNA and they can see if you have a potential. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform,

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[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive one.

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[Dr. Laura]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by LILY this summer at Disneyland, kids rule.

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