The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Should Children Feel Guilt For What They Did As Children?
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Air Date: December 28, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura addresses the emotional legacy of childhood inaction—specifically, whether adults should feel guilt over things they did or failed to do as children. Sparked by a listener email recounting a story about witnessing bullying in middle school and regretting not standing up for the victim, Dr. Laura explores personal accountability, the appropriate way to raise children with regard to self-defense and protecting others, and the persistence of childhood guilt into adulthood.

Key Discussion Points

1. Listener Story: Childhood Guilt Over Bullying (00:57–05:02)

• Dr. Laura reads an email from a listener who, as a child, failed to intervene when a classmate named David was bullied.
• The listener describes feeling too scared to stand up for David, fearing they would be targeted themselves.
• Years later, learning that David’s life went off track, the listener expresses long-lasting regret.

Notable Moment:

“Truth is, I felt so unsure of myself that I was deeply afraid that if I stood up for David, they would begin treating me the same way they treated him. I just couldn’t take that chance. … I regret that I was not stronger.” (Listener email, read by Dr. Laura, 03:58)

2. Responsibility of Adults vs. Children (04:15–05:02)

• Dr. Laura questions the actions of the adults involved (e.g., school counselor, science teacher) for failing to properly address the bullying.
• She expresses concern that responsibility was inappropriately placed on a child to influence their peers rather than on adults to intervene.

“Can you believe the school counselor put that on this kid?” (Dr. Laura, 04:08)

3. What Should Children Feel? Is Guilt Appropriate? (07:35–08:15)

• Dr. Laura addresses whether it’s fair or healthy for adults to experience lasting guilt over childhood inaction or mistakes.
• She distinguishes between people seeking forgiveness (“absolution”) versus holding oneself accountable long-term.

“When you go to a priest, you get absolution. … I’m not a Catholic priest—I hold people accountable forever.” (Dr. Laura, 07:35)

• Dr. Laura recommends the listener use their story to motivate and educate others, suggesting speaking in schools to prevent similar regrets.

4. Dr. Laura’s Personal and Family Approach to Bystander Situations (08:16–12:24)

• Dr. Laura shares childhood advice from her mother about self-defense and defending others:
  • “Don’t ever hit anybody. Unless they hit you first. Then you hit them back twice as hard. And do the same to protect somebody else.”
• Dr. Laura continues this philosophy with her own son, emphasizing the importance of defending oneself and others rather than being a passive bystander.
• Real-life example of her son getting into a fight defending someone else, which was celebrated by the family.

Notable Quotes:

“I got it in my head at five: I do not walk around smashing people. However, if they hit me first, I’m supposed to hurt them, hit them twice as hard. Boom. And do the same thing if they’re doing it to somebody else. Boom.” (Dr. Laura, 09:51)

“And any kid seeing you take somebody down that's doing wrong, they're not going to mess with you or that person again. … So ultimately, it’s like a prophylactic. I didn’t use that word with my kid. I didn’t want to deal with prophylactics at that point.” (Dr. Laura, 11:30)

5. Self-Defense and the Problem with ‘No Self-Defense’ Policies (12:25–14:58)

• Dr. Laura criticizes proposals to ban self-defense in schools, calling such ideas “stupid.”
• She clarifies that, while it's usually best to avoid conflict (“get away”), defending oneself—or especially others—is vital if escape is not possible.
• Reinforces the notion that children should be taught both empathy and assertiveness to combat bullying culture.

“If you can get away, get away. However, comma, if you can’t and you need to protect somebody else, you ought to be able to use equal and opposite force. I think that's just stupid to say anything else.” (Dr. Laura, 14:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bystander Culture:

  “Instead of standing there with your cellphone taking video of a kid being mercilessly attacked… you get a bunch of people who say, ‘Come on, we gotta stop this.’ Bully won’t know what to do at that point. … Most of you acting like sheep. Worse, getting off on it, laughing, pointing, posting, getting off on it.” (Dr. Laura, 08:35)

• On Parenting:

  “If you’re not bringing up your kids to do that, shame on you.” (Dr. Laura, 13:27)

• On Generational Wisdom:

  “Funny how in my family, mothers brought this along the generations. … Don’t hit anybody. They hit you, hit them twice as hard, take them down. … And if they’re hitting anybody else, take them down.” (Dr. Laura, 10:27)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:57 – Episode Theme Introduced: Childhood guilt and bullying
• 01:25–05:02 – Listener’s email about witnessing bullying and feeling regret
• 07:35 – Dr. Laura’s response: accountability vs. absolution, using the experience for education
• 08:16–12:24 – Dr. Laura’s family stories about standing up to bullies; practical advice
• 12:25–14:58 – Critique of anti-self-defense policies and reinforcement of assertive parenting

Summary

Dr. Laura’s direct, no-nonsense style gives listeners permission to examine their childhood regrets without dwelling unnecessarily on guilt, while urging them to turn past inaction into present and future action—by teaching their children, speaking out, and supporting assertiveness against bullying in all its forms. The tone is frank, opinionated, and infused with personal family anecdotes to underscore the importance of moral courage.

Ideal For Listeners Who:

• Struggle with unresolved childhood guilt
• Want practical, time-tested family values on assertiveness and empathy
• Are interested in bullying prevention
• Appreciate honest, hard-hitting advice with a mix of warmth and humor

Host’s Final Message:

“If you’re not bringing up your kids to do that, shame on you.” (Dr. Laura, 13:27)

For more episodes and advice, visit DrLaura.com