Should I Let My Son Quit?

Summary

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Should I Let My Son Quit?

Date: May 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a parenting dilemma presented by a caller named Mindy: Should she allow her 12-year-old son to quit gymnastics and return to mainstream school after being homeschooled? Dr. Laura explores the deeper issues involved—parental expectations, the importance of listening to your child’s needs, social development, and the value of balancing physical activity with academic achievement. The conversation is direct, insightful, and peppered with Dr. Laura’s signature tough-love wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding the Caller’s Dilemma

[01:12-02:04]

• Caller Mindy’s Situation:
  • Mindy’s 12-year-old son, homeschooled and a long-time gymnast, expresses the desire to leave gymnastics and return to regular school.
  • Mindy feels emotionally torn, viewing homeschooling as superior and gymnastics as a significant investment of family time and effort.

  “He came home the other day and said, mom, I want to go back to school and I don't want to do gymnastics anymore. And I think my mom broke and I wasn't quite sure what to do.” – Mindy [01:12]

2. Parental Expectations vs. Child’s Autonomy

[02:04-03:31]

• Dr. Laura challenges the parents’ reasoning:
  • Questions the intensity of the gymnastics schedule, suggesting it’s excessive unless Olympic ambitions are at play.
  • Encourages Mindy to recognize the difference between activities parents choose for their kids and passions children develop for themselves.

  “You people are nuts, making him do that. Come on. Unless he wants to be in the Olympics. That's an absurd schedule.” – Dr. Laura [03:07]

• Value of learning life skills:
  • Dr. Laura recognizes the values gymnastics has taught but argues for allowing the child to move on if his passion is gone.

3. Social Needs and Family Convenience

[03:59-05:10]

• Child’s Social Growth:
  • Dr. Laura emphasizes the validity of the boy’s desire for greater social integration, reinforcing this need as healthy and normal for an adolescent.

  “He wants more to integrate with other kids.” – Dr. Laura [05:37]

• Parental Convenience vs. Child’s Wellbeing:
  • She challenges Mindy to distinguish between what is genuinely best for her son versus what is simply convenient for the family.

  “This is your convenience we're talking about.” – Dr. Laura [05:54]

4. Making Decisions: Reason, Test, and Compromise

[08:41-09:32]

• Testing the Change:
  • Dr. Laura advises Mindy to permit her son to return to school, but with conditions:
    • He must maintain his academic achievements (A grades).
    • If leaving gymnastics, he should choose another physical activity.

  “So I'm willing to listen to you tell me what other sport or physical activity you want to participate in in exchange for the gymnastics. And you have to maintain the A. If you don't maintain the A, you're back to homeschooled.” – Dr. Laura [08:51]

5. Questioning External Advice

[09:43-10:19]

• Ignoring Uninformed Opinions:
  • Dr. Laura encourages Mindy to disregard advice from others who project their own experiences and are not objective or informed about her family’s situation.

  “The average person you know gives an opinion based on what previous experience?...Well, that doesn't tell you anything about your family and your son.” – Dr. Laura [09:43, 09:58]

6. Healthy Negotiation and Flexibility

[10:13-11:23]

• Flexible Parenting:
  • Dr. Laura underlines the importance of collaboration and clear boundaries with children, warning that rigidity leads to rebellion.

  “You don't work with him. At some point he is going to rebel big time.” – Dr. Laura [10:19]

• Focusing on Good Decisions over ‘Right or Wrong’:
  • Encourages reframing the decision as an experiment or a good choice, not a black-and-white right/wrong scenario.

  “Let's not look at right [and] wrong. Let's look at it's a good decision. Let's follow through with the deal, see if he holds up his end of the bargain. If not, we go back. Isn't that better than right and wrong?” – Dr. Laura [11:23]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “He doesn't have the passion.” – Dr. Laura [04:15]
• “Why does somebody assume that a person will regret something they've been doing for all their lives? Really? And you picked it when he was a toddler, he didn't pick it. You guys picked it and you guys kept him in it.” – Dr. Laura [04:30]
• “At some point he is going to rebel big time.” – Dr. Laura [10:19]
• “It doesn't have to be gymnastics and homeschooling. It can be tennis and going to school.” – Dr. Laura [10:19]
• “These right and wrong decisions always makes. I make a decision. What if it's wrong?... Let's follow through with the deal, see if he holds up his end of the bargain. If not, we go back. Isn't that better than right and wrong?” – Dr. Laura [11:23]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:12] – Mindy introduces her dilemma about her son
• [03:07] – Dr. Laura questions the intensity of the gymnastics schedule
• [05:54] – Dr. Laura points out parental convenience
• [08:51] – Advice on testing son’s choices with clear conditions
• [09:43] – Discussion about the value (or lack thereof) of external advice
• [11:23] – Reframing the decision as a “good decision” rather than worrying about right or wrong

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Summary Takeaways

• Parents must distinguish between supporting their child’s authentic interests versus clinging to parental investments of time or convenience.
• Kids should be allowed to move on from long-standing activities if their passion has faded, provided they replace them in a healthy manner.
• Educational achievement and physical activity can be negotiated—what matters is that both are upheld, not the specific form they take.
• Objective guidance and flexible, collaborative problem-solving are more valuable than rigid adherence to what others say or do.

Dr. Laura delivers her trademark mix of empathy, realism, and practical advice, empowering this listener—and all parents struggling with similar issues—to support their child’s growth without losing sight of core values.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day, brought to you by my new sponsor, Angel. Angel is a streaming platform built around stories that uplift. Stories about courage and sacrifice and faith and family. If you've been looking for entertainment that reflects your values, check out angel. Go to angel.comdrlora Entertainment you can feel good about. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Mindy welcome to the program.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you. How can I help?

[Caller (Mindy)]

I really needed parenting advice from you. I have two children at home and specifically my 12 year old son. He recently asked we homeschool. They've gone to school before for a few years when I went back to school, but we're most recently homeschooling and he also has done gymnastics since he was a toddler and now he's 12. And he came home the other day and he's been kind of talking about wanting to go back to school and wanting to quit gymnastics because it's a huge time commitment to do gymnastics. And then being at home, we were not as social as we would want to be. And of my two children, I think he's the more social one. So he came home the other day and said, mom, I want to go back to school and I don't want to do gymnastics anymore. And I think my mom broke and I wasn't quite sure what to do.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Why is that? Why did your mom heart break?

[Caller (Mindy)]

I think just because I feel like homeschool is such a good fit for our family. And I think that it's, it's amazing because you can learn whatever you want to learn and whatever time frame you want to learn it in and you can do it at your own pace. And I don't know, in my mind I almost feel like it's superior to going back to school where you're there for seven hours a day and you have to learn all of these things and none of, of it is really critical to life skills. And I think that's why my heart's breaking a little bit. And he gets it done so fast. He gets his learning done in like two hours. And he has straight A's and he's a fantastic kid. And, and like I said, I just like, it works well for our family. We can travel. You know, I, I work my work schedule around it. And then also with him quitting gymnastics, I think we've, we've dedicated so much time and energy into it. And now he's on, he's been on team for the last maybe five years. He goes five days a week, three hours. And I thought,

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

you people are nuts, making him do that. Come on. Unless he wants to be in the Olympics. That's an absurd schedule. Unless he's planning on making this his life, his career. That's. Boy, if you made me do something, well, you do. I'm here three hours. Yeah,

[Caller (Mindy)]

yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's what my logic, ma'. Am, it's unreasonable of you folks to be doing that unless he wants to go to the Olympics. And if he's done, he's done. He's learned a lot about discipline, self control, perseverance, living with pain. He's learned many, many things. There is no reason he has to continue it when it's not in his heart anymore.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah,

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Again, I think that's not reasonable.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah, I agree. Like, part of me, like I said, my logical brain knew that. But then my mom heart was just like, he could be so good at it if he just had the passion

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

for it, you know, he doesn't have the passion.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah, yeah. And then of course, you ask anybody else and they're like, no, make him do it, because one day he's going to regret it. And so I was like, I was so on the fence and that's why I wanted to call to see what your thoughts were.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Why does somebody assume that a person will regret something they've been doing for all their lives? Really? And you picked it when he was a toddler, he didn't pick it. You guys picked it and you guys kept him in it. And he learned a lot of good things and his body's probably in good shape, but he never had a passion for it. You really want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do when he's already spent so. And the amount of time. Yeah, basically he's telling you he wants A life separate from what you think is good for the family.

[Caller (Mindy)]

I know. And part of me is like, do I let a hormonal 12?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Can you stop talking about yourself? As in parts.

[Interjecting Voice]

Stop it.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

We don't think in parts. We look at two sides or maybe three sides of an argument. Gymnastic is nothing. Your son selected for himself. You did.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

He's adolescent. He's had enough. He wants more to integrate with other kids.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah. So do you think not a bad

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

thing he's asking for. And you've had your damn vacations.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

This is your convenience we're talking about.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah, that's true. I just. In my head too, I was thinking, like, is it.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Don't talk about in your head. Because there's only one place we do thinking in our heads. There's no other place in our body we do thinking.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah.

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[Caller (Mindy)]

Is it logical to let a 12 year old make big decisions like this? To go back to school? And like I agree with you with the gymnastics. If his heart is in it, don't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

These are the two things you can tell Woo hoo Right now. He's an A student. You tell him, we'll do a test, put you back in school. You maintain the A. You want to stop gymnastics, pick something else to substitute. Because the physicality is as important to your heart, mind and soul as anything else. So I'm willing to listen to you tell me what other sport or physical activity you want to participate in in exchange for the gymnastics. And you have to maintain the A. If you don't maintain the A, you're back to homeschooled.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah, I feel like I knew that was the route we needed to go, but I just heard so much other advice. So I appreciate your advice so much.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Let me explain something. The average person you know gives an opinion based on what

[Caller (Mindy)]

previous experience? The way that they were parented maybe.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You sure about that? I mean, are they objective? Are they informed? You just mentioned they talk about their own their own experiences. Well, that doesn't tell you anything about your family and your son.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah, True.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You don't work with him. At some point he is going to rebel big time. So the important things are his education stays at a high level and his physicality stays at a high level. But it doesn't have to be gymnastics and homeschooling. It can be tennis and going to school. So what you want from him is to be physical and to do well in school. So make a deal

[Caller (Mindy)]

yeah. Hello?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm here. I was quiet.

[Caller (Mindy)]

Oh, I'm waiting for you to say something. I lost connection. No, I'm sorry. No, I. I think that's all I needed to hear is I just needed that reassurance that, like, it was the right decision. Yeah,

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

it's a good decision. Yeah, it's a good decision. These right and wrong decisions always makes. I make a decision. What if it's wrong? What if it's wrong? Let's not look at right. Wrong. Let's look at it's a good decision. Let's follow through with the deal, see if he holds up his end of the bargain. If not, we go back. Isn't that better than right and wrong?

[Caller (Mindy)]

Yeah. No, I agree.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, good. All right, sweetheart. I appreciate your call. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Sirius XM Triumph is life presenting you with challenges. Get real answers with Dr. Laurel. Call 1-800- Dr. Laura. No nonsense advice about relationships, marriage, kids, tough love. It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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