Taking Criticism

Summary

---

The Dr. Laura Podcast – “Taking Criticism”

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: June 20, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode centers on understanding and handling criticism—why it’s so uncomfortable, how people typically react, and how to receive it with maturity and grace. Dr. Laura reflects on her own experiences, highlights typical reactions from her audience, and offers practical advice for managing criticism constructively in relationships, families, and professional life.

---

Main Theme Overview

Dr. Laura explores the universal discomfort of being criticized, relating her personal story of learning to navigate harsh feedback from callers early in her radio career. She praises her listeners’ notable ability to tolerate, consider, and often benefit from criticism—suggesting this is a mark of strong character. The episode also dives into strategies for responding thoughtfully to criticism, choosing whose opinions matter, and the distinction between reacting with emotion versus acting with intention.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Nature of Criticism and Why It Hurts

• Societal Shifts: Dr. Laura laments the lack of a moral compass in society but is "most impressed" with her callers' resilience when criticized.
  “I am most impressed with my callers’ abilities to tolerate criticism… That is a wonderful character addition to all of you.” [01:49]

• Immediate Emotional Reactions:

  • Criticism feels personal and can trigger feelings of inadequacy or being unloved.
  • Many process criticism as a sign they’re not valued or respected.

Dr. Laura’s Early Experience with Criticism

• Formative Call-in Incident:

  • At age 28, co-hosting radio, a caller harshly berated her as inexperienced and stupid. Dr. Laura recalls being so upset she “sat there and quietly cried,” feeling unprepared to defend herself or continue.
    “She went after me with a vengeance and I sat there and quietly cried. So my eyeballs are oozing tears, my nose is oozing nose ooze and I'm crying my brains out. I don't even know what to say.” [02:55]

• Follow-Up and Redemption:

  • Remarkably, the same caller phoned again nine months later to apologize, admitting her initial attack stemmed from discomfort at being advised by someone younger. This moving apology brought Dr. Laura to tears again.
    “She apologized… What a classy woman. She called back… and apologized. And what did I do? I cried again. Tends to be my first major reaction to moving moments.” [09:09]

Whose Criticism Matters

• Selective Listening:

  • Advice: Only take to heart the criticism of people you truly admire. “Only accept the criticism of somebody you admire. That’s the criticism I take to heart. If it hurts or not, it doesn’t matter. If it’s somebody I admire, I listen.” [10:18]

• Calm Reflection Over Quick Reaction:

  • Don’t respond to criticism based on immediate feelings.
    “I don’t want you to react quickly, emotionally, out of your feelings. Don’t act on what you’re feeling until you have made a really good assessment that what you’re feeling is meaningful.” [10:59]

Practical Techniques to Handle Criticism

• Step Back and Reflect

  • When criticized, you don’t have to agree—but you don’t need to disagree immediately either.
  • “Just listen. Try to give an unemotional reaction. Then you can think about it.”

• Default Phrases:

  • “I have to think about that” is a simple, non-defensive response that ends the moment and gives mental space. “You can just step back because I don’t know if you’re just irrational and you’re defensive or if there’s something you’re telling me that I can actually use… So if you take a breath and just listen without your head exploding, then you can determine if there’s any truth.” [11:25]

• Avoid Arguments:

  • Don’t escalate—avoid “you’re wrong” as it provokes unnecessary fights.

• Seek Input from Trusted Sources:

  • Share criticism with someone you respect for a second opinion.

“Mean” Criticism and Tough Language On-Air

• Dr. Laura’s Directness:

  • Acknowledges that new listeners sometimes call her “rude and mean.” Cites examples:
    “Calling somebody an unpaid whore, Calling somebody a limp dick, that’s pretty rude. Sounds mean. They’re not incorrect. But the point of me using ugly terminology is to clarify ugly things.” [13:38]

  • Purpose of harsh critique: To provoke, clarify, and drive the point home when she perceives real harm or ugliness in certain behaviors, especially those affecting others (like children).

• Objective Moral Viewpoint:

  • “Things are right and wrong separate from everybody’s peccadilloes.”

How to Conclude Difficult Conversations

• Respectful Exit:
  “Listen to criticism or give the impression you are and just say something as simple as ‘Thank you, I’m going to give that some thought.’ It’s over.” [16:50]

• Not Every Criticism Deserves a Fight:
  “I don’t mind a fight. Trust me, I don’t mind a fight. And just if I don’t have to have one. What the hell?” [18:12]

Influence of Personal Histories on Criticism

• Pain and Background:
  • Some irrational or entrenched positions stem from “an accumulation of pain from their whole lives.”
  • Sometimes, it’s not worth engaging—pivot to lighter topics when you sense impasse.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Criticism hurts. Because immediately upon being criticized, people feel personally attacked… they feel like they’re not respected or liked.” – Dr. Laura [02:25]

• “Only accept the criticism of somebody you admire. That’s the criticism I take to heart.” – Dr. Laura [10:18]

• “I don’t want you to react quickly, emotionally, out of your feelings… Don’t act on what you’re feeling until you have made a really good assessment that what you’re feeling is meaningful.” – Dr. Laura [10:59]

• “The point of me using ugly terminology is to clarify ugly things. At least what I perceive and believe are ugly things.” – Dr. Laura [13:51]

• “You can argue that we can do whatever we want in our family. Of course I’m mother, I make decisions. Of course it’s still an ugly thing you’re doing because a kid is unloved all day… So I think it’s very important that you listen to criticism or give the impression you are and just say something as simple as thank you. I’m going to give that some thought. It’s over.” – Dr. Laura [15:20 and 16:50]

---

Segment Timestamps

• [01:44] — Intro to topic; why criticism stings
• [02:50] — Early radio experience: call-in criticism story
• [08:48] — The return call and the power of apology
• [10:18] — Only accept criticism from people you respect
• [11:25] — Practical advice: Listening, reflection, and responding
• [13:38] — On-air tone, “mean” criticism, and purpose of harsh words
• [16:50] — De-escalation and healthy conversation endings
• [18:12] — Knowing when to avoid unnecessary fights
• [19:14] — Show wraps toward ads and social media announcements

---

The Dr. Laura Approach to Criticism (Summary Checklist)

• Recognize that criticism typically feels personal and uncomfortable for everyone.
• Cultivate the ability to listen, reflect, and evaluate criticism instead of reacting defensively.
• Value feedback from people you admire; don’t dwell on anonymous or irrelevant opinions.
• Practice calm, unemotional responses such as “I’ll give that some thought.”
• Don’t engage in unnecessary arguments; know when to step away.
• Understand that some strong stances come from deep personal history—don’t try to “win” impossible debates.
• Use strong language to clarify strong moral positions, but always with the intent to help, not harm.

---

For more insights on self-improvement, family, and relationships, follow Dr. Laura on Facebook and Instagram, or visit DrLaura.com.

---

This summary skips all advertisements and focuses solely on Dr. Laura's advice, personal stories, and the episode's core message.

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

Ladies, if you're in that phase where your body's just doing new things, sleep's weird, energy's weird, cravings also weird.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're not alone.

[Commercial Narrator]

It's totally normal. Menopause and perimenopause just means your body needs a little support. And sprouts makes that support easier so you can start feeling more like you. Tons of fresh organic produce for fiber, sprouts, protein and creatine to keep your muscles and bones strong and your energy up and stretch supplements that can help you manage mood shifts. So whether it's perimenopause, menopause or any other health journey, it's easier at Sprouts Farmer's Market Listen up. I haven't stuck around for over 50 years without earning some trust. Neither has AZO. For three decades they've been helping women manage real health issues from the number one doctor recommended brand for otc, urinary pain relief and vaginal health. And Azo focuses on facts, not fluff, providing proven science based relief for things like itching, burning odor. Reach for Azo, the brand that's been there and will keep being there for women. Visit azoproducts.com for product details, usage instructions and safety information. Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals helping everyday investors protect what they've worked so, so hard to build by adding gold and silver to retirement portfolios. Learn [e-mail] Protective Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 24, [e-mail] taking criticism.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I want to say that after 40 something years of doing this, I am less impressed with how people don't seem to have a moral compass because they're not being brought up with one and one is not being provided by our society. But I am most impressed with my callers abilities to tolerate criticism. And I would say it is the rule, not the exception. There are some exceptional situations where some people can't tolerate me pounding on their heads, but I have been astoundingly impressed with how good my callers are and listening, tolerating, absorbing, working with, not running away from. Well a little bit of running away from. That's normal. Very impressive. That is a wonderful character addition to all of you. Do I think it's something special about my audience? Yes, I think the sort the sort of person who would listen to me is probably above and beyond the average bear in many wonderful character qualities. I mean there are some talk show hosts who attract a different sort and I'm very glad that that's not the case for me. Very proud of my audience quality. Y' all may not agree with everything I say, so sometimes it takes a while for somebody to absorb and think around in circles about what I've said to see perhaps if it does have more value. Because criticism hurts. Because immediately upon being criticized, people feel feel personally attacked. They feel like they're not respected or liked. They feel feel that it's more than it is. I remember one of the first weeks I was ever on radio. I was a co host on KABC in Los Angeles once a week. I was 28 and more mature than the average 28 year old, but still I was 28 and you know, looking back, wow. I worked very hard to try to be useful and helpful with only 28 years of experience on the face of the earth. Did my best, did a lot of reading, a lot of thinking. But a lady calls in and rips me up one side and down the other. You pipsqueak. You don't know anything. How old are you? Big deal. You went to school. You have some degrees. You think you know something you don't. What you've said is stupid. I mean, she went after me with a vengeance and I sat there and quietly cried. So my eyeballs are oozing tears, my nose is oozing nose ooze and I'm crying my brains out. I don't even know what to say. So the host of the show handled it in ways I don't know. He had a sense of humor and I don't even remember how he handled it. I felt terrible, did not want to go back on the air.

[Commercial Narrator]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Health.

[Commercial Narrator]

Health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lilly Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop. Shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies and thanks to Walmart Pharmacy. You can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy Delivery not available for all prescriptions and Exclusions apply. Ladies, if you're in that phase where your body's just doing new things, you sleep's weird, energy's weird, cravings also weird, you're not alone. It's totally normal. Menopause and perimenopause just means your body needs a little support. And sprouts makes that support easier so you can start feeling more like you. Tons of fresh organic produce for fiber, sprouts, protein and creatine to keep your muscles and bones strong and your energy up. And supplements that can help you manage mood shifts. So whether it's perimenopause, menopause or any other health journey, it's easier at sprouts Farmer's Market Confidence.

[Pacific Life Announcer]

It's listening to your gut. It's moving forward even when the path ahead is unclear. For nearly 160 years, Pacific Life has helped people keep their promises, building confidence for generations. Whether you're confident in your financial future or just beginning to envision it, we're here to help. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life the Power of a Promise Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska. And in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

[Commercial Narrator]

Listen up. I haven't stuck around for over 50 years without earning some trust. Neither has AZO. For three decades, they've been helping women manage real health issues from the number one doctor recommended brand for otc, urinary pain relief and vaginal health. Azo focuses on facts, not fluff, providing proven science based relief for things like itching, burning odor. Reach for Azo, the brand that's been there and will keep being there for women. Visit ezoproducts.com for product details, usage instructions and safety information.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You know, because what happens is you feel insecure. You feel like you must not be good enough. Maybe they're right and it's an opinion, it's an opinion. Opinions are not facts. It's an opinion and it's an opinion at a point in time. And I'm mentioning that because nine months later she called back. I recognized the voice immediately because it was sort of an odd voice. And I sat back in the chair and I thought, oh God, I have to go through this again. Can I excuse myself and go to the bathroom and hide? And she apologized. She said she had not been listening to me long, was put off by the fact that I was young and giving input. And what did I know? She was in her 50s. So as a lot of you like to say, she had her issues. But what a classy woman. She called back nine months later and Apologized and what did I do? I cried again. Tends to be my first major reaction to moving moments. So you have to understand, if you're being criticized, it may or may not be accurate. It might seem personal, but it might not be. The intention may be to hurt you, but it may actually be to help you. And you don't always have to agree with it. But defensiveness as a perpetual pattern turns people off. It's like they can't talk to you about anything without you getting defensive. Come on. And as I've told you many times, only accept the criticism of somebody you admire. That's the criticism I take to heart. If it hurts or not, it doesn't matter. If it's somebody I admire, I listen. At least listen. Because if you can't listen to anybody saying anything, then this defensiveness can affect your work life, your love life, your friendships. So you've got to get control over feelings. So the first thing I'm going to tell you, and you notice I do this a lot on air. Don't tell me your feelings. I'm more concerned with what you do than what you feel. I don't want you to react quickly, emotionally, out of your feelings. Don't act on what you're feeling until you have made a really good assessment that what you're feeling is meaningful. You don't have to agree with somebody said, but you don't have to disagree either. Think about that. I don't have to agree with you. I don't have to disagree either. I can just step back because I don't know if you're just irrational and you're defensive or if there's something you're telling me that I can actually use. So if you take a breath and just listen without your head exploding, then you can determine if there's any truth, if there's anything you can learn. Because remember, what other people say is merely a matter of opinion, and everybody's got one. Like everybody's got a but. So I need you to react in a calm, disciplined manner. And you can say, I have to think about that. That's a good answer. I'm going to have to think about that for a while and the conversation's over. I feel differently about that. Try to avoid going, you're wrong, because then a fight start. Just listen and try to give an unemotional reaction. Then you can think about it. You can talk to people you do respect and say, this is what was said. What do you think? I mean, somebody in my position gets criticism all the time. One of the more typical criticisms of new listeners is that I am rude. Mean, Rude and mean. I don't get upset by that. Our answer is keep listening for a while. It'll make sense. I mean, do they think everybody else is crazy? Who does value the program and values me? See, if I have an opinion about something and 50 million are on the other side, it makes me at least stop and think about it a little bit. Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe it's just hitting something in me. Mmm, the wrong way. On the other hand, I will say that if you tune into me for the first time in some calls, I'm going to sound mean. Calling somebody an unpaid whore, Calling somebody a limp dick, that's pretty rude. Sounds mean. They're not incorrect. But the point of me using ugly terminology is to clarify ugly things. At least what I perceive and believe are ugly things. And what makes me perceive them as ugly things is that in the long run, they do you no benefit and or they hurt somebody else. Like women who put kids in daycare almost from the time they pop out of the womb. I call them bio moms, not moms. Moms are the ones they're hugging and holding and doing and nurturing and loving. The others are biomoms. I think it's an ugly thing because a kid spends all day not being loved. So you can argue that we can do whatever we want in our family. Of course I'm mother, I make decisions. Of course it's still an ugly thing you're doing because a kid is unloved all day. And to me there's no rationalization for that. Find another way. So the. For example, that. So things that are sublime. I use loving, wonderful words for the things that aren't get ugly words. So I'm creating a lot of clarification and getting you emotionally involved. Every now and then I can throw in statistics, but frankly, nobody cares about that. But the imagery of an unpaid whore makes sense. Whores do this for money. You're doing the exact same thing free. The point being, And it doesn't matter who has done it, will do it, is doing it. Things are right and wrong separate from everybody's peccadilloes. So I think it's very important that you listen to criticism or give the impression you are and just say something as simple as thank you. I'm going to give that some thought. It's over. It's over. Last thing you want is of it to go on and on. I was at a lunch with some friends and one of the friends got into. I mean, everybody's got their limitations in different areas. And this person who has a very complex background from a Middle Eastern country where back in the day the family was ferociously rich, grandpa had 13 wives, stuff like this, and he'd never been married. And the subject of marriage and commitment came up and I knew how it was going to go. And I just said, if you wouldn't mind, let's talk about movies, let's talk about art, let's talk about. Because there's no point. There's no point because you have to understand that a lot of what people think is a rational conclusion is just an accumulation of pain from their whole lives. So you don't want to be arguing the point when they can never get to that point because there's too much dirty water under the bridge. So when you get a criticism, listen to it. Say, I'll give it some thought. They feel respected and it's over without a fight. Okay, let's save the fights. I don't mind a fight. Trust me, I don't mind a fight. And just if I don't have to have one. What the hell? We have an interesting announcement. Not going to say what it is. I'm just going to tell you. Go to facebook.com drlaura or instagram.com drlauraprogram it's important. It's major. It's a non popularity contest decision based on profundity of reality. That's vague enough. My number, 1-800-375-2872.

[Commercial Narrator]

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform,

[SiriusXM Triumph Announcer]

SiriusXM. Triumph is life presenting you with challenges. Get real answers with Dr. Laurel. Call 1-800- Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No nonsense advice about relationships, marriage, kids, tough love. It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility.

[SiriusXM Triumph Announcer]

Inspiration.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive one.

[SiriusXM Triumph Announcer]

That's your new rule, Dr. Laura. Weekdays at 2pm east on Sirius XM Triumph 123 and on the Sirius XM app.

[Commercial Narrator]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources

[Muscle Milk Advertiser]

provided by Lilly everyone's talking about protein lately, but how do you actually get enough of it? Muscle Milk Muscle Milk has a great tasting new formula with no artificial sweeteners, flavors or added colors. It's high quality complete protein designed to support healthy muscles with fewer ingredients than the previous formula and 26 to 42 grams of protein. Protein for when you're stuck in meetings or need a post workout recovery. Available in chocolate, vanilla, cream, cookies and cream, and strawberries and cream. Try the new great tasting Muscle Milk today. Available in stores nationwide. Muscle Milk Protein for all.