The Best Way to Parent a Teenage Son

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – The Best Way to Parent a Teenage Son Release Date: May 13, 2025

---

Dr. Laura Schlessinger returns to her popular SiriusXM Triumph 111 radio show, "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," to discuss effective strategies for parenting teenage sons. In this episode, Dr. Laura addresses two caller concerns: assisting a mother dealing with her son's reluctance to accept a scholarship opportunity abroad and enforcing household rules related to dating and personal responsibility.

1. Navigating Scholarship Decisions for Teenagers

Caller Situation: Claudia, a concerned mother, calls in about her 17-year-old son's hesitation to accept a prestigious scholarship for a cultural exchange program in Germany. Despite his acceptance and the potential intangible benefits, her son expresses a strong desire to remain and complete his senior year with his peers.

Dr. Laura’s Advice: Dr. Laura empathizes with both Claudia and her son, acknowledging the natural fears and attachments teenagers have. She emphasizes the importance of understanding a teenager's perspective, especially regarding social connections and personal growth at this pivotal age.

• Key Quote:

  "At 17, I would have been scared to death to go across the ocean to a whole other country. No parents, no relatives, none of my usual friends. I'd be scared. Wouldn't you?"
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:17]

Conclusion: Dr. Laura advises Claudia to respect her son's decision, highlighting that his priorities—such as friendships and completing his education with his class—are valid and common among teenagers. She suggests that forcing him into the program may not yield the intended benefits if he is not genuinely interested.

2. Managing Teenage Frustrations and Setting Boundaries

Caller Situation: Claudia further discusses her son's frustration over not being able to drive until a specified date, leading him to compare himself with friends who can drive. Additionally, she shares concerns about her son bringing his girlfriend home and displaying affectionate behavior that she finds unacceptable.

Dr. Laura’s Advice: Dr. Laura adopts a firm stance on parental authority and the necessity of setting clear boundaries. She advises that parents should not expend excessive emotional energy on their children's frustrations but instead enforce rules consistently to teach accountability and responsibility.

• Key Quotes:

  "You have to parcel things about as what's serious and what's not."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [07:41]

  "You're the power. I don't care if he's upset. Stop being worried about his being upset."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [08:48]

Enforcing Household Rules: Regarding the issue of Claudia's son bringing his girlfriend home and displaying affection, Dr. Laura supports Claudia's actions to set and enforce household rules. She underscores that consistent enforcement is crucial for maintaining respect and order within the family.

• Key Quote:

  "He has to respect the same rules in her house. Now your son is very upset at me because of that."
  — Claudia [09:05]

  "If you keep giving your kids something for nothing and you'll get more nothing and a ton of disrespect."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [12:00]

Conclusion: Dr. Laura encourages Claudia to maintain her stance on household rules without yielding to emotional pleas. She emphasizes that rules are not punishments but necessary consequences that guide teenagers toward responsible behavior.

3. Addressing Organizational Skills and Personal Responsibility

Caller Situation: Claudia raises another concern about her son’s disorganization and the resulting conflicts with her husband over his messy bedroom.

Dr. Laura’s Advice: Dr. Laura reiterates the importance of enforcing consequences for disorganization, framing it as a matter of personal responsibility rather than mere cleanliness. She advises Claudia to continue setting clear expectations and maintaining consistency in enforcing them.

• Key Quote:

  "The room is clean or this doesn't happen. It's not punishment, it's consequence."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [11:14]

Conclusion: Dr. Laura advises that maintaining an orderly environment is part of fostering discipline and respect in teenagers. By setting firm yet fair expectations, parents can help their sons develop essential organizational skills and a sense of accountability.

4. Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Throughout the episode, Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of parental authority, consistent rule enforcement, and the cultivation of personal responsibility in teenagers. She encourages parents to balance empathy with firmness, ensuring that their children understand the importance of boundaries and consequences.

Key Takeaway: Effective parenting of teenage sons involves a blend of understanding their emotional struggles and maintaining clear, consistent boundaries. By doing so, parents can guide their sons toward becoming responsible and respectful adults.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "At 17, I would have been scared to death to go across the ocean to a whole other country. No parents, no relatives, none of my usual friends. I'd be scared. Wouldn't you?"
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:17]

• "You have to parcel things about as what's serious and what's not."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [07:41]

• "He has to respect the same rules in her house. Now your son is very upset at me because of that."
  — Claudia [09:05]

• "The room is clean or this doesn't happen. It's not punishment, it's consequence."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [11:14]

• "If you keep giving your kids something for nothing and you'll get more nothing and a ton of disrespect."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [12:00]

---

Conclusion: In this episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides unwavering support for Claudia's approach to parenting her teenage son. Her advice underscores the necessity of setting clear boundaries, enforcing rules consistently, and fostering personal responsibility to guide teenagers toward maturity and accountability.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

When Skechers says they've revolutionized how you put on and take off your shoes, they aren't kidding. I just got my first pair of hands free Skechers slip ins and I want them in every color. You literally just step into your Skechers slip ins and they're on. No bending, no struggling. They're fantabulous. I came up with that word. Feet gently slide in thanks to an invisible built in shoehorn. A heel pillow feature keeps your foot secure. Slip ins come in athletic and casual styles for men, women and kids. They even have sandals with special features and fits like Skechers air cooled memory foam. Arch fit, relaxed fit, wide fit. Once your feet have experienced hands free Sketcher slip ins, they won't want to wear any other shoe. They certainly exceeded my expectations. You can find [e-mail] DrLora or Skechers.com use the promo code DrLora. Valid for 20% off site wide standard exclusions apply. Valid March 5 through May 30, 2025. Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusXM Triumph 111. Claudia, welcome to the program.

[Claudia]

Hi. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. What's happening?

[Claudia]

Really? Thank you for taking my call. So my almost 17 year old applied for a scholarship to go to Germany on his senior year. And he was accepted and then invited to a finalist in interview in another city where many students from other states attended. And he was selected and offered this scholarship for a cultural exchange for one year in Germany. And now he has to give them a decision by tomorrow and he doesn't want to go. And we think that would give him some. So many intangible benefits.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, Claudia. Claudia, let me just ask you something because I was thinking as you were talking, sort of relating it to myself. At 17, I would have been scared to death to go across the ocean to a whole other country. No parents, no relatives, none of my usual friends. I'd be scared. Wouldn't you? I'd be scared if you wouldn't.

[Claudia]

Yeah, I. I did it too.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, you did what?

[Claudia]

Well, not. Not at 17, but I, you know, I. I left my own country to.

[Dr. Laura]

At what age?

[Claudia]

Older though.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. At 17 it's scary. Okay, so let's not over. Let's not be overwrought about this. So you have an opinion? Did you ask him about his change of heart?

[Claudia]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

And his answer was he doesn't want.

[Claudia]

To miss out on everything that his senior year brings to his life.

[Dr. Laura]

He's a 17 year old boy. That makes total sense to me.

[Claudia]

Okay. And he just got a girlfriend like a month ago.

[Dr. Laura]

That's another reason he has his life here. And he's a kid. He's a kid.

[Claudia]

Okay. All right, so we're okay with that decision. I am. Now my husband is pretty upset about it and. And also my son let us know that we are. He's frustrated with, you know, I guess, life now because right now he cannot drive until May 10th, something like that. So he has to be taken to places. But he has his own e bike and he. That's how he transport himself to places. But he's frustrated because his friends are driving her cars and he just feels like.

[Dr. Laura]

You know what, Claudia, let me say this to that in my era, our parents did not spend time agonizing over us being upset. It just didn't happen. We were expected. So you're upset. Deal with it. How do you send a kid out into the world who can't manage his emotions and deal with frustration and disappointment? So you say to him, yeah, it's frustrating and annoying, but someday you'll be old enough and you'll be driving. Right now you're not. So really don't want to hear the whining. That's mostly how fathers deal with, quote, their sons. Just saying. But you agonizing that he's upset. Who cares if he's upset? Yeah, that's not a part of life. Having a kid unhappy that he can't have everything he wants right now. Duh. That's right. You can't.

[Claudia]

Yeah, no, we told him. I mean, that's not our fault.

[Dr. Laura]

But you're bringing it up to me as though this were significant. It's not. That's insignificant.

[Claudia]

Okay. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear. Dreaming of a Modern Oasis At AllModern, we offer the best of modern furniture and decor all in one place. Hand vetted for quality and delivered for free in days. Discover outdoor dining sets, sofas, and more in every Style of modern from scandi to mid century. That's modern made simple. Shop [e-mail].

[C]

Every day our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance. Hey, I was just in an accident. Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[C]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. Human Amica Empathy is our best policy. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99 of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2020 Nelson Report.

[Dr. Laura]

You have to parcel things about as what's serious and what's not. And yeah, parents have all kinds of dreams and aspirations for their kids. And going to Germany for a year at his age isn't going to work. He doesn't want to leave his buddies and he wants to graduate with his class. Yeah, makes sense.

[Claudia]

Okay, okay, that's helpful. And I'll share this with my husband because he's, he's not taking it very.

[Dr. Laura]

Well because tell your husband, you know what, he's 17. He's 16, 17 years old and this is where he is in his head. So your husband has his fantasies and expectations and he's now pouting. You got two males in your home doing the same thing. I'm pouting about I don't have a car. I'm pouting because my kid won't do the dream I wish he would do. You know, you've got a burden on you, woman. You got two guys doing the same thing to you big time.

[Claudia]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Tell that to your husband and say you're doing the same thing our kid is doing. Pouting over what you can't have.

[Claudia]

Okay. All right. Can I have another question?

[Dr. Laura]

Absolutely.

[Claudia]

We set rules and we are a little strict and we're. Because we agree with you. So many values have been lost and we teach that to our kids. So the second time my son came back home with lots of hickeys around his neck. We called the girl, the girlfriend, the girlfriend in and my husband was working. I talked to both of them and I told him that was unacceptable and you know, told her that she was welcome in my house as long as the rules were respected. And same thing. My son had to respect the same rules in her house. Now my son is very upset at me because of that.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't care if he's upset. And you have to not care he's upset. Again, you're doing the same thing. You did the right thing in pulling them both up and telling them this was unacceptable and crude behavior. Crude behavior. And so he's upset. He's a kid. He doesn't like being told his girlfriend can't suck on his neck like she's a vampire. Sorry. Too damn bad. And if this continues, she's not coming over here. And your dreams of ever having a car just got exploded. You either follow our rules till you leave on your own or don't expect to be supported in ways you've become accustomed to. You're the power. I don't care if he's upset. Stop being worried about his being upset. He's a kid. They don't like to be told anything. He thinks he's a big man that she's sucking on his neck. Yeah, thinks he's a big guy. What a jerk. Okay, but he's a kid.

[Claudia]

Will he get a more organized kid? Because his bedroom is a mess. And you know, we. My husband fights with him over that. And he.

[Dr. Laura]

No, you see, the fighting, the fighting. Woo hoo. No fighting. Again, consequences. You did beautifully with him and his girlfriend. Now you do it in the same thing with your room. See, your room, it's either straightened up the way I approve of, or don't imagine you'll have a car access all these goodies you get. My dear son. Come if you're cooperating. If you don't cooperate, we don't either. I love you. Hug him and walk out of the room. Yelling is stupid. Yelling is stupid. Well, tell him I said it's stupid and my way is better.

[Claudia]

For sure he listens to you.

[Dr. Laura]

You want to keep your room a mess? Fine. No car, no this, no that, no that's it. Here's the deal. The room is clean or this doesn't happen. It's not punishment, it's consequence. Families are cooperative with each other. And my dear son, if you don't cooperate by keeping your room straightened up. We don't cooperate by doing X, Y and Z. And tell your husband to stay in his room if he can only scream because that's stupid and it has no power and it doesn't impress kids.

[Claudia]

For sure. Okay. All right. Is there Any way that I can get this recording or when will this be? I just want my husband to hear this.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, that's a good question. Let me put you on hold and Dan or BE will give you that information when it would be in our reruns podcasts. We have so many things going on that I can't keep up with them, but Dan can, so he'll get on with you. My number, 1-800-375. I love that call. Yeah, don't get so upset. Just tell them this is life, kiddo. If you don't keep your room clean, you can't have or do this. That's it. I'm not going to yell at you. I'm going to look, if your room is not clean, I'm not going to even mention it to you. But when you ask me for some privilege or something, I'm going to say, let's go check your room. Isn't that cool? Let's go check your room. That'll be the answer for if you can have or do. That's it. You keep giving your kids something for nothing and you'll get more nothing and a ton of disrespect. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[C]

At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive. The hatchback that took you cross country and back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Amica Auto Insurance. Amica empathy is our best policy.