The Topic of Correcting People

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: The Topic of Correcting People

Date: May 25, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura explores the often tricky territory of "correcting people," honing in on the dynamics of correcting a spouse—specifically, a husband. Inspired by Abby Watts’ article on iMom.com, Dr. Laura discusses why resisting the urge to correct minor faults or differences in approach can benefit relationships, foster mutual respect, and promote a happier household. Drawing from personal anecdotes and research-backed insights, she delivers practical advice in her signature frank and humorous style.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Gratitude and Perspective on Life

[00:59-06:43]

• Dr. Laura opens with a personal story about a family member who embodies gratitude and positivity, rarely complaining despite past hardships.
• The family member rationally chooses to "wallow in all my good stuff" and not sweat small problems.
  • Quote:

    “She said, 'Why would I take away from that by complaining about some minutiae over which I probably don't have control?'” (Dr. Laura, 04:46)

  • Dr. Laura stresses: You’re not born with this attitude, “it’s a decision.”
  • This sets the foundation for resisting the impulse to nitpick or correct those closest to us.

2. Resisting the Urge to Correct Your Husband: Key Points from Abby Watts’ Article

[08:44-16:44]

a. Minor Annoyances Are Not Worth It

• Example: A wife is irritated by how her husband pronounces “Costco.”
• Correction over trivial things only brings negativity and unnecessary tension.
  • Quote:

    “If you bring it up, all it does is create negativity, unnecessary tension. And the outcome of all of that is negative, not positive. So what’s the point?” (Dr. Laura, 09:42)

• Emphasis on letting go of control and accepting your partner’s quirks.
  • Signature phrase:

    “As I’ve said many times on the show. You ready? Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Up, up, up. Very up. As up as shutting can get.” (Dr. Laura, 10:47)

b. Never Correct in Front of the Kids

• Public correction undermines your spouse’s authority, models criticism, and teaches children to be critical.
  • Quote:

    “Correcting your husband in front of the kid sends the wrong message immediately through your eyes as less capable. It also teaches them, always point out when someone in your opinion is wrong.” (Dr. Laura, 11:22)

• If needed, wait for privacy to discuss issues—unless it’s a genuine emergency.

c. Don’t Question His Capabilities

• Repeated correction can be discouraging and suggest incompetence.
• Let your spouse handle things, and celebrate when things go well.
  • Quote:

    “Constant corrections can make him feel like he’s never doing enough and never doing anything right in your mind. Give him space.” (Dr. Laura, 12:20)

d. Accept Multiple Ways to Do Things

• There’s often more than one “correct” way to complete a task (ex: stirring scrambled eggs, organizing, grilling).
• Relinquishing control fosters trust and reduces conflict.
  • Quote (Abby Watts via Dr. Laura):

    “There isn’t a single correct way to do it. The eggs turned out perfectly fine even though they weren’t made, she writes, my way.” (Dr. Laura, 13:22)

e. The Good That Comes from Letting Go

• Holding back on correction can reveal new strengths in your partner, teach you new approaches, and lighten emotional burdens.
  • Quote (Abby Watts via Dr. Laura):

    “Holding back from correcting my husband has led to surprising growth for me... Patience and trust have gone a long way in strengthening our marriage.” (Dr. Laura, 15:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She just went on. She wasn’t counting blessings, per se... she was just reviewing that her life was fabulous.” (Dr. Laura, 02:50)

• “Let your man have his little peculiarities. Because ultimately, it doesn’t matter.” (Dr. Laura, 10:38)

• Signature catchphrase:

  “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Up, up, up. Very up.” (Dr. Laura, 10:47)

• “Why get into an arm wrestle with the person you’re supposed to love, respect, and honor?” (Dr. Laura, 14:08)

• Dr. Laura concludes with a call to action: “Choose wisely. Treat kindly. Nagging and critiquing—try to hold that back in.” (Dr. Laura, 15:30)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:59 – 06:43 | Story on gratitude, perspective, and choosing not to complain
• 08:44 – 10:47 | Why correcting minor things (like pronunciation) damages relationships
• 11:19 – 12:20 | Never correct your husband in front of the kids
• 12:21 – 13:22 | Corrections that question his capabilities
• 13:23 – 14:30 | Accepting multiple correct approaches in marriage
• 15:10 – 15:30 | Growth and benefits from resisting the urge to correct

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Summary Takeaways

• Gratitude is a daily decision, not an innate trait.
• Most corrections are unnecessary and create more harm than good.
• Public correction undermines respect and sets a negative example for children.
• Trusting your spouse’s independent approach builds confidence and strengthens the relationship.
• Letting go of control leads to personal growth, mutual respect, and a more peaceful home.

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Transcript

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Now to move to what I was also going to open up the article from imom.com by Abby Watts four times to resist correcting your husband. Oh God. Most women suck at this really bad. First reason to resist correcting your husband is it probably doesn't really matter in the great scheme of life. The relationship, humanity, reality. It's such a stupid little thing. Why bring it up? And one of the things she points out, he pronounces a word in a way she doesn't like. She writes. We recently became members of Costco. I was excited. The opportunity to buy a year's worth of toothbrushes in one visit. I resist doing that anymore. They just have piles of stuff everywhere. Then I learned how my husband Pronounces Costco. He says Costco, but that's how it's spelled. It's not spelled C, O, S, C, O. It's C O, S, T, O, cost, co. So he says it like it's written and drove her up a wall. Or a route your husband takes to go to a store or where he sets his razor. None of it matters. And if you bring it up, all it does is create negativity, unnecessary tension. And the outcome of all of that is negative, not positive. So what's the point? Letting go of these minor annoyances keeps the peace. But here's the next and most important part you're willing to let go of. Being controlling. How he pronounces Costco. Now I'm going to start saying Costco. I'm going to start saying that. Because he's right. There's no silent T there. What the hell is the T? Silent. Let go of control. Let your man have his little peculiarities. Because ultimately, it doesn't matter. You're either going to get something on a good bargain in that store or you're not, no matter how he uses the name. And if he likes a different route to get there, you get there, don't you? Come on. So the inconsequential things, as I've said many times on the show. You ready? Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Up, up, up. Very up. As up as shutting can get. You go up. Okay, Number two out of four. Isn't this fun? Times to resist correcting your husband. This one you ought to know. Correcting your man in front of the kids. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless a felony is happening, in which case, call 911. Okay, but your average. Something's annoying. Correcting your husband in front of the kid sends the wrong message immediately through your eyes as less capable. It also teaches them, always point out when someone in your opinion is wrong. They learn to be critical. So they go to school and they have trouble with friends because they're critical in the family. They nag their siblings by being critical. All of this teaches kids the correct way to behave. It also reinforces the notion that mom is Mother Superior. So if you really think there's something that needs correction, wait till the kids are in a different room or you be in a different room. Don't embarrass each other, please. 3. Third reason or I'm sorry, third time to resist correcting your husband when it questions his capabilities. Think about it. Correcting your spouse in a way that suggests he's incapable is discouraging. Whether it's fixing something around the house or making particular decision, constant corrections can make him feel like he's never doing enough and never doing anything right in your mind. Give him space. Let him handle it. Let him figure it out. You should also do that with your adult children. Builds trust and mutual respect. And when something is finally remedied, make a fuss. Number four Resist resistance. Resist correcting your husband when there are multiple ways to do something, She writes. I'll never forget the time early in our marriage when my husband made scrambled eggs for breakfast and I corrected the way he was stirring the eggs. He raised an eyebrow and said, are we really going to debate how to stir eggs this morning? And he was right. There isn't a single correct way to do it. The eggs turned out perfectly fine even though they weren't made, she writes. My way Life is full of situations where different approaches still lead to good results. Organizing the garage, folding laundry, grilling a steak. Just let your man do it his way. What the hell? Why get into an arm wrestle with the person you're supposed to love, respect and honor? This way you'll have fewer fights. Her final paragraph is the There are benefits. I found that holding back from correcting my husband has led to surprising growth for me. It's helped me see and appreciate his capabilities, learn new ways to get a job done, and lighten my load a little. Patience and and trust have gone a long way in strengthening our marriage. Yep, yep. Choose wisely. Treat kindly. Nagging and critiquing. Try to hold that back in. My number for your dialing pleasure is 800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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