This is Not a Mommy Moment

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: This is Not a Mommy Moment

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: September 9, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a call from Tammy, a mother deeply concerned about her adult son's tumultuous marriage and emotional entanglements after his wife's affair. Dr. Laura provides her characteristic direct advice, focusing on the need for paternal—not maternal—intervention when it comes to helping a grown son break harmful attachment patterns. The episode explores themes of personal boundaries, emotional rescue tendencies, and gendered approaches to family problem-solving.

---

Key Discussion Points

1. Caller Explains the Situation

Timestamp: 01:47–03:48

• Tammy, the caller, explains her 28-year-old son's wife has been having an affair with a man she met on Snapchat.
• The affair lasted six months and involved secret in-person meetings.
• Tammy’s son discovered the affair, after which the wife began blaming him, rationalizing her actions.
• She is described as a recluse with mental health struggles.
• The affair led to a suicide attempt by the other man, with Tammy’s son intervening to save his life.
• Despite the chaos, the son is still eager to remain with his wife, which baffles and worries Tammy.

2. Dr. Laura’s Assessment: The Son’s Emotional Needs

Timestamp: 03:52–04:22

• Dr. Laura questions the son’s mental health:

  “What are your son's mental problems that he's had when he was growing up?” (04:00)

• She rejects Tammy’s assurances that her son is just “quiet,” implying deeper emotional issues may be present:

  “Yeah, think again. Think again. Don't compliment him to me. I'm trying to help you.” (04:06)
  “Any man who is playing games with a woman who is this unstable has a problem.” (04:16)

3. The Role of the Father

Timestamp: 04:27–05:20

• Dr. Laura firmly redirects Tammy, saying the father should step in:

  “You need to back off and tell dad to move in. Not physically move in, but get himself together with his son and help him with his emotional problem. I don't think a mommy can do that. I think a dad can. Unless you have sort of a limp dick for a husband.” (04:33)

• Tammy clarifies her husband is strong and supportive, married for 45 years with six children.
• Dr. Laura doubles down:

  “That's very important at a time like this. He's got to help straighten out his kid. You can't do that. This is not a mommy thing.” (05:09–05:20)

4. Solutions and Resources

Timestamp: 05:20–09:00

• Tammy asks, “So how does he help him?” Dr. Laura replies:

  “I think your husband will know. He's not a stupid man.” (05:23)

• After the ad break, Tammy reiterates her trust in her husband, noting her son is ex-military. Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of paternal involvement, even for grown, capable sons.
• She recommends her book:

  “You might also buy him 10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. I wrote that...because your son is in the first two chapters but have your husband give it to him.” (09:00)

5. Broader Message: Why This Is Not a "Mommy Moment"

Timestamp: 09:00–10:20

• Dr. Laura explains her reasoning for deferring to the father in these situations:

  “This is not a mommy moment we don't want to connect with. I know some of you are sitting there saying why isn't this a mommy moment? Okay, I'll tell you why. Because mommies, breasts that give milk, uterus that gives life are constantly dealing with the feelings and protection. Fathers tend to be risk taking challengers. So we need him. We need dad to relate to him man to man on how this is a really bad idea to help him with his needs to feel important to somebody.” (09:00–10:20)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura (to Tammy):

  “Any man who is playing games with a woman who is this unstable has a problem.” (04:16)

• Dr. Laura:

  “You need to back off and tell dad to move in... I don't think a mommy can do that.” (04:33)

• Dr. Laura:

  “This is not a mommy thing.” (05:20)

• Dr. Laura:

  “You might also buy him 10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives... have your husband give it to him. This is not a mommy moment.” (09:00)

• Dr. Laura (on why fathers should step in):

  “Fathers tend to be risk taking challengers. So we need him. We need dad to relate to him man to man on how this is a really bad idea...” (09:00–10:20)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:47 – Tammy begins recounting her son’s marital struggles.
• 03:52 – Dr. Laura interrupts for focus: "How can I help you?"
• 04:16 – Dr. Laura calls out emotional rescue behaviors in men.
• 04:33–05:20 – The importance of dads over moms in adult son intervention.
• 09:00 – Dr. Laura explains why this is not a "mommy moment" and her recommendations for help.

---

Summary Takeaways

• Dr. Laura emphasizes that not every parental intervention is a “mommy moment”—sometimes, only a paternal approach will address a son's misguided rescue fantasies or enable better boundaries.
• She challenges the assumption that maternal concern alone can solve deeply rooted emotional patterns in adult men.
• The episode is a sharp, no-nonsense reminder of the different roles mothers and fathers play in guiding adult children, and the risks of over-involvement for mothers when a son is caught up in unhealthy relationship dynamics.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hey everybody, it's Babs. I am so excited to tell you about Birch Lane, a brand that shares my passion for classic style and joyful living. Their classic furniture and decor helps you celebrate it all. From big holiday gatherings to everyday moments at home. Each piece is carefully crafted and delivered fast and free so you can celebrate what matters most. Shop my hand picked Birch Lane collection and more classic [e-mail].

[B]

Are you always ruining everyone's beauty sleep with your snoring? That's not just annoying, it can be harmful and that increases your risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and even memory loss. Introducing Zipa that's Happy Z spelled backwards. Zipa is a doctor designed mouthpiece that moves your jaw forward to keep your airway open. From now through the month of October, you can put an end to your snoring and save $10 on a time limited edition pink zipa. They even donate another 10 bucks to the Susan G. Coleman Foundation. Help zipa reach their goal to raise $50,000 for breast cancer research by going to zyppah.com using the code pink or text-R L A U R A DoctorLora to 511-511- remember zepa is happy z spel text fees may apply. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111 Tammy hello, welcome to the program.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Hello. How can I help?

[C]

Okay, well my 28 year old son's wife, 26, met a man on Snapchat, been having an affair for six months. He's out of the area. She went back to visit him. She found out now that she's lived with him for like 30 days for total. He thinking she was just on a girls trip. He he finds out she starts blaming my son for her doing this, you know, because he wasn't listening to her. Whatever. She's a recluse, she works from home. They lived with us for six months at one time and I tried to get her to do things. She just wasn't very healthy and trying to do things for her benefit. But anyway, that week before they were moving so my son and her were living together there still about 30 days after he found all this out and, and she would say things like well his nieces and nephews miss me and all these crazy things and then he didn't know what to do so he called his mother in law. She tried to convince her, you know, to cut it off and He. So she told the guy, no, I'm not going to stop by there. On our way to moving. He was in the vicinity of where, close to where they were going to be moving. You know, he's like, you're gonna come with and be with me, right? Or something like this. I don't really know, of course. But anyway, it was like she told him, no, I don't think so. I'm not sure. And so he. This other man took a video himself to kill himself. She became so distraught that my son saw the video, saw how she was, and he called the authorities and saved this man's life. So, okay. Mother in law telling her daughter, don't go see this guy. She goes and stops and sees Tammy.

[B]

This is all fantastically interesting, but how can I help you?

[C]

Crazy. Okay. So my son wants to be with her and I feel like all the remarks he says about her.

[B]

What are your son's mental problems that he's had when he was growing up?

[C]

None. He was just being.

[B]

Yeah, think again. Think again. Don't compliment him to me. I'm trying to help you.

[C]

Yes. I'm going to tell you, any man.

[B]

Who is playing games with a woman who is this unstable has a problem.

[C]

He was very quiet. I was thinking about it just the other day, actually.

[B]

Is he close to his dad? Is your son close to his dad?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, you need to back off and tell dad to move in. Not physically move in, but get himself together with his son and help him with his emotional problem. I don't think a mommy can do that. I think a dad can. Unless you have sort of a limp dick for a husband.

[C]

No, no, no. We've been married 45 years. Six children.

[B]

I didn't ask you how long you're married and how many kids you have. I asked you if your husband was strong man or a limp dick.

[C]

Oh, no, he's strong.

[B]

Okay. That's all I need to know. That's very important at a time like this. He's got to help straighten out his kid. You can't do that. This is not a mommy thing.

[C]

Okay, so how does he help him?

[B]

I think your husband will know. He's not a stupid man.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All free. Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists for a clean you can feel good about all you need is all free Clear well, this is pretty cool. When you switch to Mint Mobile's super great 3 month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month you get to B Y O E bring your own everything. Yep, when you switch from your old wireless plan to Mint Mobile's 5G network, you can bring your phone and your number with you. What you won't be bringing are jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network and new Mint Mobile customers can snag a three month plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com drlaura that's mintmobile.com drlaura upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customers offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.

[D]

Attention all small biz owners at the UPS Store. You can count on us to handle your packages with care with our packing experts. Your packages are properly packed and protected and with our pack and ship guarantee. When we pack it and ship it, we guarantee because your items arrive safe or you'll be reimbursed. Visit theupsstore.com guarantee for full detail. Most locations are independently owned. Product services, pricing and hours of operation may vary. See center for details. The UPS Store Be unstoppable. Come into your local store today.

[B]

At Walgreens. We know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you our flu info in a meditation, keeping you calm, just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a little needle nervous, so walk in or.

[E]

Schedule an appointment and Walgreens will handle the rest.

[B]

That's the human kind of help. Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age and health related restrictions may apply. Welcome to Only Murders in the Building the Official Podcast.

[E]

Join me, Michael Ciro Creighton as we go behind the scenes with some of the amazing actors, writers and crew from Season five. The audience should never stop suspecting anything.

[B]

How can you not be funny crawling around on a coffin?

[E]

Yeah, that's true. Catch Only Murders in the Building Official Podcast now streaming wherever you get your podcasts and watch Only Murders in the Building streaming on Hulu and Hulu Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply.

[C]

Trust your husband, okay? My son's ex military, so trust your husband, okay?

[B]

Even if your son is ex military, trust your husband to try to reach him. That his choice of needing to come in on the white charger is really a stupid thing to do with a girl who is this unstable. And the word unstable ought to be used and I wish you luck with that. Your son needs to be rescued from his own emotional needs to rescue. You might also buy him 10 stupid things men do to Mess Up Their Lives I wrote that 10 Stupid Things Men do to Mess Up Their Lives because your son is in the first two chapters but have your husband give it to him. This is not a mommy moment we don't want to connect with. I know some of you are sitting there saying why isn't this a mommy moment? Okay, I'll tell you why. Because mommies, breasts that give milk, uterus that gives life are constantly dealing with the feelings and protection. Fathers tend to be risk taking challengers. So we need him. We need dad to relate to him man to man on how this is a really bad idea to help him with his needs to feel important to somebody. My number one, 800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com Click on Sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[E]

Look, if you've got prescriptions, the Walmart app is your place to manage them. Transfer your scripts, refill them and have them delivered straight to you. Migraines, managed allergies, alleviated dermatology, derma delivered ding dong. Is that your pizza? Nope. Walmart pharmacy delivery with a refill. Switch to Walmart and manage your prescriptions in the app. The Walmart you thought you knew is now. New delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.