Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: This is Not a Mommy Moment

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: September 9, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a call from Tammy, a mother deeply concerned about her adult son's tumultuous marriage and emotional entanglements after his wife's affair. Dr. Laura provides her characteristic direct advice, focusing on the need for paternal—not maternal—intervention when it comes to helping a grown son break harmful attachment patterns. The episode explores themes of personal boundaries, emotional rescue tendencies, and gendered approaches to family problem-solving.

Key Discussion Points

1. Caller Explains the Situation

Timestamp: 01:47–03:48

• Tammy, the caller, explains her 28-year-old son's wife has been having an affair with a man she met on Snapchat.
• The affair lasted six months and involved secret in-person meetings.
• Tammy’s son discovered the affair, after which the wife began blaming him, rationalizing her actions.
• She is described as a recluse with mental health struggles.
• The affair led to a suicide attempt by the other man, with Tammy’s son intervening to save his life.
• Despite the chaos, the son is still eager to remain with his wife, which baffles and worries Tammy.

2. Dr. Laura’s Assessment: The Son’s Emotional Needs

Timestamp: 03:52–04:22

• Dr. Laura questions the son’s mental health:

  “What are your son's mental problems that he's had when he was growing up?” (04:00)

• She rejects Tammy’s assurances that her son is just “quiet,” implying deeper emotional issues may be present:

  “Yeah, think again. Think again. Don't compliment him to me. I'm trying to help you.” (04:06)
  “Any man who is playing games with a woman who is this unstable has a problem.” (04:16)

3. The Role of the Father

Timestamp: 04:27–05:20

• Dr. Laura firmly redirects Tammy, saying the father should step in:

  “You need to back off and tell dad to move in. Not physically move in, but get himself together with his son and help him with his emotional problem. I don't think a mommy can do that. I think a dad can. Unless you have sort of a limp dick for a husband.” (04:33)

• Tammy clarifies her husband is strong and supportive, married for 45 years with six children.
• Dr. Laura doubles down:

  “That's very important at a time like this. He's got to help straighten out his kid. You can't do that. This is not a mommy thing.” (05:09–05:20)

4. Solutions and Resources

Timestamp: 05:20–09:00

• Tammy asks, “So how does he help him?” Dr. Laura replies:

  “I think your husband will know. He's not a stupid man.” (05:23)

• After the ad break, Tammy reiterates her trust in her husband, noting her son is ex-military. Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of paternal involvement, even for grown, capable sons.
• She recommends her book:

  “You might also buy him 10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. I wrote that...because your son is in the first two chapters but have your husband give it to him.” (09:00)

5. Broader Message: Why This Is Not a "Mommy Moment"

Timestamp: 09:00–10:20

• Dr. Laura explains her reasoning for deferring to the father in these situations:

  “This is not a mommy moment we don't want to connect with. I know some of you are sitting there saying why isn't this a mommy moment? Okay, I'll tell you why. Because mommies, breasts that give milk, uterus that gives life are constantly dealing with the feelings and protection. Fathers tend to be risk taking challengers. So we need him. We need dad to relate to him man to man on how this is a really bad idea to help him with his needs to feel important to somebody.” (09:00–10:20)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura (to Tammy):

  “Any man who is playing games with a woman who is this unstable has a problem.” (04:16)

• Dr. Laura:

  “You need to back off and tell dad to move in... I don't think a mommy can do that.” (04:33)

• Dr. Laura:

  “This is not a mommy thing.” (05:20)

• Dr. Laura:

  “You might also buy him 10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives... have your husband give it to him. This is not a mommy moment.” (09:00)

• Dr. Laura (on why fathers should step in):

  “Fathers tend to be risk taking challengers. So we need him. We need dad to relate to him man to man on how this is a really bad idea...” (09:00–10:20)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:47 – Tammy begins recounting her son’s marital struggles.
• 03:52 – Dr. Laura interrupts for focus: "How can I help you?"
• 04:16 – Dr. Laura calls out emotional rescue behaviors in men.
• 04:33–05:20 – The importance of dads over moms in adult son intervention.
• 09:00 – Dr. Laura explains why this is not a "mommy moment" and her recommendations for help.

Summary Takeaways

• Dr. Laura emphasizes that not every parental intervention is a “mommy moment”—sometimes, only a paternal approach will address a son's misguided rescue fantasies or enable better boundaries.
• She challenges the assumption that maternal concern alone can solve deeply rooted emotional patterns in adult men.
• The episode is a sharp, no-nonsense reminder of the different roles mothers and fathers play in guiding adult children, and the risks of over-involvement for mothers when a son is caught up in unhealthy relationship dynamics.