This Nanny Did the Right Thing!

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: This Nanny Did the Right Thing!
Date: April 3, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

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Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger tells a real-life morality tale shared by a friend, centered on a "Nanny Plus" who bravely addresses the safety of the children she cares for—raising concerns to their powerful and high-achieving mother without risking her job or causing unnecessary conflict. Dr. Laura highlights the nuances of how to deliver difficult feedback, especially in situations with potential personal or professional risk, and offers listeners a practical template for confronting similar dilemmas with grace and integrity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Situation: Nanny vs. Powerful Employer

• [01:00] Dr. Laura narrates a story about a "Nanny Plus," who manages far more than childcare for an affluent, influential woman.
  • The nanny observes that the young children (approx. ages 5 and 7) are not sitting in their designated car seats as required for safety; they sometimes swap places in defiance of car safety rules.
  • The employer, despite her status and intelligence, allows this unsafe behavior.

The Moral Dilemma: To Speak Up or Stay Silent

• [01:55] The nanny faces a predicament: Should she voice her concerns about the children's safety and risk losing her job, or keep quiet and deal with ongoing anxiety about their welfare?
  • Dr. Laura notes:

    "We've heard those stories on the air. When a nanny tries to tell the parents that they're doing something that may be inappropriate, dangerous, what have you, they often just get fired because...people don't like to hear that when they're parenting in a sucky way."
    —Dr. Laura ([03:14])

  • Dr. Laura emphasizes how difficult it is to confront people in positions of power about their parenting, especially when one's livelihood is at stake.

The Approach: Framing the Concern

• [07:11] The "brilliant" move, according to Dr. Laura, was how the nanny chose to communicate her worry.
  • Instead of accusing the mother or issuing demands, she expressed her concern as a deeply personal emotional conflict.
  • Key Quote:

    "She went to the woman and said, 'I notice that the kids like to switch seats in the car and you know, I've grown so attached to your children and their well being is so important to me and I'm so uncomfortable recognizing that there could be an increased risk of something happening to them and I'm just so uncomfortable and fretting...I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't point out that this situation is very distressful for me as opposed to couldn't live with myself if I didn't point out you're a stupid bitch and you put your kids at risk. This was a much better way of saying it.'"
    —Dr. Laura ([08:04])

  • The nanny made it about her fear and discomfort, not an accusation against the employer.

The Outcome: Immediate, Positive Response

• The employer responded simply and positively:

  "Oh, okay." ([08:48])

• Dr. Laura attributes the success partly to:
  • The vital, multifaceted role of the nanny ("Nanny Plus")—hard to replace.
  • The delivery: focusing on her own feelings, not telling the parent what to do.

The Lesson: How to Deliver Difficult Feedback

• Dr. Laura holds this up as an instructive template for anyone needing to confront a superior, parent, or authority figure about unsafe or harmful behavior.
  • Key Takeaway:

    "If you notice somebody doing something dumb and dangerous with their kids, 'Oh, gosh, I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened. So I just wanted to tell you that I'm worried about that.'" ([10:28])

  • Do not accuse or demand; instead, express caring and personal responsibility for the concern.
  • Dr. Laura notes that in her role as a radio host, she can be more direct, but in employee-employer or similar relationships, this gentle approach is much wiser and more effective.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hard Truths and Employer Sensitivity:

  "People don't like to hear that when they're parenting in a sucky way. They don't want to know it. I mean they're living it, but they don't want it said to their faces."
  —Dr. Laura ([03:14])

• On Owning the Message:

  "She made it all her own problem. Brilliant."
  —Dr. Laura ([08:13])

• On the Right Way to Say It:

  "She never said, 'You need to stop doing what you're doing because you're a bad mother.' That's for me on this program to say. But in this position? Yeah, that was smart."
  —Dr. Laura ([10:47])

• Summing Up the Lesson:

  "I hope you learned something powerful from that."
  —Dr. Laura ([10:54])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00] – Introduction to the nanny story, setting up the scenario and the safety concern
• [03:14] – Dr. Laura discusses the risk of confrontation and why most nannies stay silent
• [07:11] – Description of the nanny’s approach and “making it about herself”
• [08:48] – Immediate, positive response from the employer
• [10:28] – Dr. Laura summarizes how this model can be used by others
• [10:54] – Final lesson and encouragement to listeners

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Conclusion

Dr. Laura uses this “Nanny Plus” story to deliver an accessible, actionable lesson on moral courage, effective communication, and the art of delivering uncomfortable feedback—especially when the stakes are high. Her advice: Reframe concerns as personal emotional stakes rather than accusations, and you’re more likely to be heard and spark change, even in resistant or high-status individuals.

Listeners are encouraged to apply this compassionate, non-confrontational strategy in their own lives when faced with similar ethical crossroads.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals. Helping everyday investors protect what they've worked so hard to build by adding gold and silver to retirement portfolios. Learn [e-mail] Protect Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 247 [e-mail] so a friend told me this story and I was very impressed by how it finished up. So I thought I'd tell you because it's a moral issue and a self centered issue. Well, not self centered, but self well being. Stop trying to name it. I hate it when you guys do that. I shouldn't do it to you. All right, here it goes. This woman is a nanny for two kids. They are about seven and five approximately. Okay, not totally sure on that, but close enough to make the point. And the person she's working for is very rich and powerful female. The nanny who helps the rich and powerful lady with tons of things. She's very smart, not just watching, does all kinds of stuff for her, helps her get organized for business. I mean this is more than a nanny, okay? And she noticed that when the rich and powerful lady puts her kids in the car, the kids go I don't want to sit in the car seat. Guess the little one is still car seat level. So I probably got the ages. I don't want to sit in the car seat, I want to sit over there. And so the two kids change places and the rich and famous powerful lady drives them that way. So the nanny was having concern for the well being of the kids because she's been caring about them for a long time and she doesn't want them harmed. So the question in her mind was does she say something and risk being fired? Because we've heard those stories on the air. When a nanny tries to tell the parents that they're doing something that may be inappropriate, dangerous, what have you thoughtless that they often just get fired because people don't like to hear that when they're parenting in a sucky way that they're parenting in a sucky way. They don't want to know it. I mean they're living it, but they don't want it said to their faces.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So the question then became, do I say anything and risk being fired or spend my time being mostly upset about this? So this very wise and brave nanny went to the rich and famous and powerful woman who depends on her for all sorts of things, which I think gave her an edge because to fire her would mean she'd have to hire three people to do the job of this one Nanny Plus I should call her Nanny Plus. So my guess is she felt somewhat secure by how much she was needed. But the way I was told she offered it was brilliant. So I thought I'd share it with you so that you could use this in your lives because I thought it was brilliant. She went to the woman and said, I notice that the kids like to switch seats in the car and you know, I've grown so attached to your children and their well being is so important to me and I'm so uncomfortable recognizing that there could be an increased risk of something happening to them and I'm just so uncomfortable and fretting and she made it all her own problem. Brilliant. Just makes me worried and uncomfortable and I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't point out that this situation is very distressful for me as opposed to couldn't live with myself if I didn't point out you're a stupid bitch and you put your kids at risk. This was a much better way of saying it. I couldn't live with myself if I said nothing and God forbid something should happen. I'D never forgive myself. And evidently the rich and powerful woman immediately said, oh, okay, that was it. That was it. But how brilliant she made it about herself. She couldn't live with herself. She'd be so distraught. But she didn't say it in a way which would make that woman, a rich and powerful woman, feel attacked. Instead, her employee, who has like three different jobs with her, hope she's paid for three different jobs. I don't know the situation. I don't know the people. This was explained to me because the person explaining to me was very proud of the person who did it. And I said, that couldn't have been done better. But there were two things. One, this woman needed her bad. Firing her would have been incredibly stupid and a mess for her life because it's really hard to find people who are so good at so many different things and so smart and so intelligent. Part taking care of the kids, part taking care of business, you know, it's hard to find that. So it worked out beautifully. I offer that to you because if you notice somebody doing something dumb and dangerous with their kids, oh, gosh, I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened. So I, I just wanted to tell you that I'm worried about that. She never said, you need to stop doing what you're doing. You need to do what I'm telling you to do because you're a bad mother, putting your kids at risk. That's for me on this program to say. But in this position, yeah, that was smart. So I hope you learned something powerful from that. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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