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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
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I want to talk about what a real friend is. A lot of you think a friend is somebody who posts on your social media. Trust me, not a person you'll be able to count on. Yeah, that's just nonsense. I'm sort of sad they use, they misuse that word because it's such a precious word. I mean, a friend is an amazing gift from the heavens. It's just amazing. I have a friend, she's going to
be back in town on Saturday.
For several weeks she and her husband have been traveling Europe,
Which takes up
your time and attention when you're traveling and visiting things and walking and eating and everything that they're doing. And twice she stopped to call me. How are you doing?
What's the situation with the house? How are you feeling?
How's Lilybug?
How's the family?
And we talked about all the cool stuff. And yeah, her suitcase never got there to start the trip, so poor woman had to go shopping. I told her I really felt for her. So evidently in Spain she went to a really cool store and the prices were fabulous and got a whole bunch of stuff. And you know, when she gets back home, her, her luggage will be there. So I don't care where I'm going. I just take. Put it in the overhead. I don't trust any of it. But it was two weeks in Europe, so she needed more clothes. Maybe, I don't know. Anyway, twice she called me. Time difference and everything. That's a friend. Why didn't I call her? She's on vacation. I didn't want to bug her. When she had time, she'd call me. I didn't want to interrupt and have her say, well, I'm in the middle
of the Sistine Chapel.
Can I call you back? So there you are. So let me talk a little bit more about friends. First thing I want to mention is
probably, probably the most difficult.
And yeah, what I. Let me say what it is fair. Friends can disagree without losing respect for each other. The politics is dicey. I've got friends and the difference in politics.
We sort of all know that there's
a difference in politics.
As people age, it's normal to ask
what more they could be doing to
take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health.
Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action.
Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lilly.
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
So while I just said you can
disagree without losing respect, we don't debate. We don't argue. We leave it alone. Understanding that those are powerful thoughts, feelings, opinions. We just don't go there. Now, quite honestly, not that I'm dishonest at other times, but quite frankly, that's a better way to say it. My deepest friends, we agree by and large on politics because it's partly a value system. So when we're aware that there's a big difference in politics, those friends, we just don't go into it. And because of how they are as human beings, we just both let it go. Don't go there. Differences in perspective, differences in opinion. We don't forfeit the friendship over differences like that. We just let that be in the basement. Because by and large, everything else is just beautiful. So let me do the everything else. Friends forgive quickly. They don't bring up old dirt. They don't gossip about each other. They forgive with humility and transparency. Don't hold grudges. You can't have a friend and a grudge in the same place at the same time. It doesn't work. It's either a friend or a grudge. You got to give it up, assuming they've taken responsibility or you've taken responsibility and everybody's honest and open with each other. You forgive stupid stuff. Of course, if it's bigger than stupid stuff, then you got to reconsider a friendship. Friends love you they're there for you when you need them, not just when it's convenient. A real friend is committed to you regardless of circumstances, even when you're not being all that lovable. Because there are times everybody gets shitty. They believe in you even when you are struggling to believe in yourself. They hang in there with you. They have your back. Loyalty is everything to me. To me, loyalty is everything. And I am absurdly loyal. To friends, There's no such thing as a frenemy. A real friend will show up on their day off to help you move into your new place. They'll be there for you when you need them, and you do the same for them. I think friends are just amazing creatures on the earth. Friends tell you the truth, even when it's painful. A painful truth is always better than a hidden lie. There's nothing more horrible to a friendship than dishonesty. So mutually, you speak the truth in love. And when you have a good friend, they actually make you better, sharpen you, make you a better person because of their positive influence, their encouragement. They bring out the best in you
and they don't try to hold you
down to make themselves look better. The minute you're with a person who persistently does that, you. You're really a ridiculous fool to keep them in your life. How's that for blunt communication? That is the glue in friendships. You have to communicate frequently. Phone calls, texts, letters, whatever. Constant communication in a relationship is like breathing. It must be done to stay alive and healthy. So that pretty much covers it. A real friend can enjoy your successes without being jealous, envious or negative or pouty. A real friend is happy for your happiness. So when you truly have one of those, nurture it, value it, embrace it. It's so special. It's just so Special.
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
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It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility.
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Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive one.
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The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: What a Real Friend Is
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: May 28, 2026
In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger explores "What a Real Friend Is." She breaks down the true meaning of friendship, the qualities that separate genuine friends from casual acquaintances, and the importance of loyalty, forgiveness, and open communication. Using personal anecdotes and direct advice, Dr. Laura defines how to nurture authentic friendships and recognize when a connection falls short of true friendship.
[01:34]
“A lot of you think a friend is somebody who posts on your social media. Trust me, not a person you’ll be able to count on. Yeah, that’s just nonsense. I’m sort of sad they misuse that word because it’s such a precious word.”
[02:04]
“Twice she stopped to call me. How are you doing? What’s the situation with the house? How are you feeling? How’s Lilybug? How’s the family?”
[03:53]
“Friends can disagree without losing respect for each other.”
[07:16]
“We don’t debate, we don’t argue, we leave it alone…because of how they are as human beings, we just both let it go.”
[08:10]
“Friends forgive quickly. They don’t bring up old dirt. They don’t gossip about each other. You can’t have a friend and a grudge in the same place at the same time. It doesn’t work.”
[09:00]
“A real friend is committed to you regardless of circumstances, even when you’re not being all that lovable. Because there are times everybody gets shitty. They believe in you even when you are struggling to believe in yourself…They have your back.”
“A real friend will show up on their day off to help you move into your new place. They’ll be there for you when you need them, and you do the same for them.”
[10:30]
“Friends tell you the truth, even when it’s painful. A painful truth is always better than a hidden lie. There’s nothing more horrible to a friendship than dishonesty.”
[10:50]
“When you have a good friend, they actually make you better, sharpen you, make you a better person because of their positive influence, their encouragement. They bring out the best in you and they don’t try to hold you down to make themselves look better.”
“The minute you’re with a person who persistently does that, you’re really a ridiculous fool to keep them in your life. How’s that for blunt communication?”
[11:30]
“You have to communicate frequently. Phone calls, texts, letters, whatever. Constant communication in a relationship is like breathing. It must be done to stay alive and healthy.”
“A real friend can enjoy your successes without being jealous…A real friend is happy for your happiness. So when you truly have one of those, nurture it, value it, embrace it. It’s so special. It’s just so special.”
“I’m sort of sad they misuse that word because it’s such a precious word.” (01:36)
“Twice she called me. Time difference and everything. That’s a friend.” (02:34)
“We don’t debate, we don’t argue, we leave it alone. Understanding that those are powerful thoughts, feelings, opinions. We just don’t go there.” (07:19)
“You can’t have a friend and a grudge in the same place at the same time. It doesn’t work.” (08:34)
“To me, loyalty is everything. And I am absurdly loyal.” (09:17)
“A painful truth is always better than a hidden lie.” (10:35)
“When you truly have one of those, nurture it, value it, embrace it.” (11:55)
Dr. Laura’s episode is a clarion call to reconsider what friendship truly means. With her characteristic directness and warmth, she offers a clear blueprint for building and sustaining meaningful relationships: embrace honesty, practice forgiveness, extend loyalty, and nurture your true friends. In a world of superficial connections, her advice stands as a guide to recognizing and preserving the rare gift of real friendship.