What Are My Parents Thinking?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "What Are My Parents Thinking?"

Episode Information:

• Title: What Are My Parents Thinking?
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Release Date: April 30, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a caller named Morgan, who is grappling with the aftermath of ending a short-term relationship and the subsequent intrusive behavior from his parents. The discussion delves into the complexities of parental interference, setting personal boundaries, and maintaining self-respect in the face of familial pressure.

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Caller’s Dilemma

Morgan, a 21-year-old, reached out to Dr. Laura expressing his frustration over a recent breakup. After ending a two-month relationship due to incompatibility, his ex-boyfriend engaged in multiple disruptive actions:

• Parental Interference: The ex-boyfriend contacted Morgan’s mother's friend, leading to his mother providing him with her phone number. This resulted in prolonged conversations between the ex-boyfriend and Morgan’s parents.

  Morgan [01:20]: "He reaches out to my mom's gossip buddy who... gives him her number, he calls my family... she gives him her credit card to book a flight without me."

• Financial and Emotional Intrusion: His mother went as far as offering her credit card to facilitate the ex-boyfriend's travel plans, although the trip was ultimately canceled due to his friends' influence.

• Lack of Support: Morgan feels alienated as his parents continue to involve themselves in his personal matters despite the breakup, leaving him conflicted about how to handle their behavior.

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Dr. Laura’s Initial Response

Dr. Laura responds with strong concern, labeling the ex-boyfriend’s actions as potentially dangerous and bordering on stalking. She criticizes the parents’ lack of boundaries and their irresponsible handling of the situation.

Dr. Laura [02:34]: "He is dangerous. This is so close to stalking."

She emphasizes the importance of self-protection and advises Morgan to distance himself from both the ex-boyfriend and his over-involved parents to safeguard his well-being.

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Further Discussion and Advice

Morgan seeks clarity on whether to completely cut off contact with his parents or simply minimize it. Dr. Laura advocates for a balanced approach:

• Minimizing Contact: Instead of severing ties entirely, she suggests maintaining minimal contact, such as a monthly check-in call. This allows Morgan to preserve his relationship with his parents without getting entangled in their drama.

  Dr. Laura [07:56]: "Minimizing... once a month you call and ask how everybody's doing."

• Setting Firm Boundaries: She advises Morgan to block the ex-boyfriend and inform his parents that any further contact with him will result in Morgan cutting off ties with them. This is to prevent his parents from enabling the ex-boyfriend's intrusive behavior.

Dr. Laura [08:07]: "I just do that so you can hedge your bets. You don't feel... oh, I'm a terrible daughter..."

Morgan expresses his anger and frustration, to which Dr. Laura reiterates her stance, urging him to prioritize his own life and well-being over his parents' misguided actions.

Dr. Laura [06:36]: "I don't blame you, but I'd like you to turn your back and get on with your life."

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Key Insights and Conclusions

Dr. Laura underscores the importance of personal boundaries and the necessity of protecting oneself from manipulative or intrusive behavior, even when it involves family members. She acknowledges Morgan's strength in handling the situation and offers reassurance that maintaining minimal contact is a balanced and practical solution to navigate the complexities of family interference after a breakup.

Her advice revolves around:

• Self-Preservation: Recognizing and mitigating potential threats to one's emotional and psychological well-being.
• Boundaries: Establishing clear limits to maintain healthy relationships without compromising personal integrity.
• Emotional Independence: Encouraging Morgan to focus on his own life and happiness rather than getting entangled in his parents' drama.

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Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura [02:34]: "He is dangerous. This is so close to stalking."
• Dr. Laura [06:36]: "I don't blame you, but I'd like you to turn your back and get on with your life."
• Dr. Laura [07:56]: "Minimizing... once a month you call and ask how everybody's doing."
• Dr. Laura [08:07]: "I just do that so you can hedge your bets. You don't feel... oh, I'm a terrible daughter..."

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Conclusion

In "What Are My Parents Thinking?", Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides Morgan with clear, no-nonsense advice on navigating the tangled web of personal relationships and parental interference. Her guidance emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, self-respect, and prioritizing one's own well-being. This episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners facing similar challenges, reinforcing the principles of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility that Dr. Laura is renowned for.

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Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Morgan]

My dilemma is I ended a relationship that I was in for two months because we weren't a match. It wasn't anything big or emotional for me. This guy reaches out to my mom's gossip buddy who and consequently she messages him, gives him her number, he calls my family, they talk and he talks with my dad whom I've also excommunicated and they have this hour plus long conversation. She then gives him her credit card to book a flight without me. Mind you, this is all after the breakup and he books the flight, he's going to go over there but then he doesn't because his friends talk him out of it. And my mom a week later because I didn't tell her after I broke up with him because she was like really emotionally in it. I didn't really talk to her, I just talked to her bare minimum. And I once things kind of just cooled down and I'm like, all right, I don't really want to deal with her drama. I eventually just mentioned to her that yeah I did in the relationship and at this point I knew that she knows and I was hoping she'd say something. She doesn't say anything. She pretends like she's out in the blue and surprised and doesn't know. It's like, why would you think that, like, you're such a perfect match. First of all, no. Like, she was assuming that we were.

[Dr. Laura]

Perfect together, just like Morgan. Can you. Can you take a second out? First of all, let me say a few things to you. I'm impressed with your strength at 21. I don't often hear this. Number two, listen to me very carefully when I say these three words. He is dangerous. This is so close to stalking. And your mother is some kind of idiot. And I don't know how she's living through her romantic, sexy stuff by interacting with him. There's something really wrong with your mother to do what she did. And I'm saying this as a psychotherapist and I'm glad you don't talk to her that much. It's probably going to protect you in the future. But he's dangerous. You tell them no contact with him or you won't have contact with them.

[Morgan]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

I hope you don't live in their.

[Morgan]

House being out this early. I don't. No, no, no. I've been out since 18.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank God. For a reason. Yeah. Okay, good. Good.

[Morgan]

For a reason. Big reason. And they're just. Here's what's crazy. Dr. Laura, as much as I'm flabbergasted at this, it's not really something too shocking because it's consistent with their behavior, both my mom and my dad's. And at this point I'm wondering, yeah, do I cut it off? How do I handle this? What is appropriate?

[Dr. Laura]

I think you minimize. Minimize contact. Just minimize contact. You don't have to shut it off. Just minimize it. And do not give them any information about anybody and anything you're involved in. He's dangerous in one way, they're dangerous in another way. They want to play games with your life.

[Morgan]

I'm so angry. I'm so angry at that.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't blame you, but I'd like you to turn your back and get on with your life. You have them pegged. I'm supporting you in your assessment. He's dangerous. Cut him off. Have, you know, block him. Don't respond to anything. Good. If he ever shows up, that's when I want you to go to court and get a writ that keeps him away from you.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

And tell your mother or father, if they contact him or accept any contact from him, you will cut them off. I don't know that they'll care. Not because they don't like you, but because this is part of how they live their lives.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Can I add some more pieces to this? Why?

[Dr. Laura]

Because you feel like you want to add more pieces because you don't think my advice is good so far?

[Morgan]

No, I didn't actually state that. Well, I meant to ask another question about why.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Another question is fine.

[Morgan]

What the wisdom is.

[Dr. Laura]

Go ahead.

[Morgan]

I'm sorry, I didn't say that. Right. Why should I just minimize contact versus not cut off. Like, what warrants the difference between cutting off and just minimizing contact?

[Dr. Laura]

Minimizing. Like once a month you call and ask how everybody's doing.

[Morgan]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Because that way you'll feel no guilt and nobody can tell you you're a shitty daughter. Okay.

[Morgan]

Oh, it makes sense. Okay, I see that.

[Dr. Laura]

I just do that so you can hedge your bets. You don't feel. Walk around, oh, I'm a terrible daughter, and start having feelings that draw you back into their drama. I recommend you not do that. So call once a month and then go see I'm a great daughter and then get on with your life.

[Morgan]

That makes sense. Calling once a month rather than cutting off contact so I don't have guilt. And then go back and do the whole drama. I do that. Thank you, by the way, for that advice too. With blocking, cutting off because he's completely crazy. That is absolutely insane.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, he's a good match for your parents. The three of them should make vows to each other and leave you out of it.

[Morgan]

Adorable. Oh, thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, sweetheart, call me anytime.

[Morgan]

Really talking with you.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. Call me anytime. I'll be your sort of surrogate mom. Grandma. My number one, 800-375-2872. You know, I particularly have a fondness talking to people under 30 because I find by and large they're a little adrift because of the behavior and attitudes of their parents. Not 100%. Don't start with me. But significantly 1-800-375-2872 if you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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[UPS Store Customer]

Yes. My gift. Can you pack it?

[UPS Store Representative]

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[UPS Store Customer]

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[UPS Store Representative]

Yes.

[UPS Store Customer]

Guarantee it?

[UPS Store Representative]

Of course.

[UPS Store Customer]

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[UPS Store Representative]

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[UPS Store Customer]

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