What To Do When Your Adult Son and His Girlfriend Are Shacking Up

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: What To Do When Your Adult Son and His Girlfriend Are Shacking Up
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: March 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura addresses a listener’s dilemma: how to respond when an adult son buys a house and moves in with his girlfriend (a twice-divorced woman with three adopted children), refusing marriage but demanding that his family treat them as full-fledged family members. Dr. Laura explores modern attitudes toward commitment, tradition, and familial boundaries, offering her unfiltered advice on maintaining one’s standards and responding to "woke" redefinitions of family.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Listener’s Email – The Family Dilemma

• Dr. Laura reads an email from a father whose adult son has moved in with his girlfriend (twice divorced, with three adopted kids), insisting they be treated as family despite not marrying or formally committing.
  • "[My] adult son and his girlfriend contacted me to say they have bought a house together and are shacking up… My son…claims…they have no intention of marrying but are happy to share their assets, liabilities and the bed…"
    — Dr. Laura, reading the letter (02:05-02:33)

2. Dr. Laura’s Immediate Reaction: Commitment vs. Convenience

• Dr. Laura lambasts the notion that mere cohabitation equals family, drawing a sharp line between tradition and modern arrangements.
  • “How dare anybody even consider letting him spit on tradition and commitment. It is ridiculous.”
    — Dr. Laura (03:40)
• She highlights what she sees as a generational problem—avoiding sacrifice and commitment in favor of “delusion.”
  • “This next sentence just shows you what's happening with the younger-ish generations. Okay, a woke phenomenon… I just want everybody in my delusion.”
    — Dr. Laura (03:05-03:25)

3. The Legal and Emotional Perils of Shacking Up

• Dr. Laura points out the potential legal and emotional complications of cohabitation—particularly when children are involved.
  • “His idiot son does not really want to make a commitment to this woman and the kids, so he's safe. Ish. I don't know. The law is going to hold him accountable for all kinds of things when they split up and she goes after him in a court and he gets all emotionally entangled with these children who have already had… losses.”
    — Dr. Laura (05:59-06:33)

4. Concrete Parental Advice

• Dr. Laura delivers a "script" for the father to use in addressing his son.
  • “Dad, pick up the phone, call your idiot son and say the following: Idiot son, you can make this woman family by marrying her or adopting her... Until then, she's your shack, a punny. And these kids are not related to me at all because you haven’t made them family. The only person who can make them family, my idiot son, is you.”
    — Dr. Laura (06:34-07:21)
• She underscores the importance of language—refusing to call the girlfriend “daughter-in-law” or the children “grandchildren” until formal steps are taken.
  • “You can't tell me to fantasize just like I'm a man, but I'm a woman so you have to go along with me because I decided it's so. This idiot stuff. Unbelievable. Misplaced concept of compassion at the least.”
    — Dr. Laura (07:24-07:40)

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Notable Quotes

• On modern cohabitation:
  “…[He] wants me to welcome her into the family and pretend she is my daughter in law and her three adopted kids are my grandchildren. Do you agree with him? Absolutely not.”
  — Dr. Laura (03:20)
• On tradition:
  “How dare anybody even consider letting him spit on tradition and commitment. It is ridiculous.”
  — Dr. Laura (03:40)
• Advice to parents:
  “Dad, pick up the phone, call your idiot son and say the following: Idiot son, you can make this woman family by marrying her or adopting her... Let me know when you marry her or adopt her. Until then, she's your shack a punny. And these kids are not related to me at all because you haven’t made them family.”
  — Dr. Laura (06:34-07:21)

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Memorable Moments

• Calling out “woke” thinking:
  Dr. Laura critiques contemporary attitudes toward commitment, poking fun at the logic behind “making your own reality” when it comes to family roles.
  — (03:05-03:25)
• Legal and emotional warnings:
  She cautions about the risks of “emotional entanglement” and potential legal consequences for her caller's son.
  — (05:59-06:33)
• No-nonsense parental script:
  Dr. Laura provides a word-for-word suggestion for how the father should confront his son’s demand.
  — (06:34-07:21)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:42 – 03:49: Main reading of the caller’s email and Dr. Laura’s first reactions
• 05:59 – 07:40: Dr. Laura’s extended commentary, criticisms, and concrete advice
• Notable Quotes & Advice: Sprinkled primarily between 06:34 – 07:40

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Summary Takeaway

Dr. Laura remains staunchly traditional, urging parents not to cave to modern pressures to redefine family without legal or emotional commitment. With her trademark frankness, she calls for clear boundaries rooted in respect for tradition, offering specific scripts and uncompromising advice for callers struggling with shifting societal norms.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals, Helping everyday investors protect what they've worked so hard to build by adding gold and silver to retirement portfolios. Learn [e-mail] Protect Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] I don't know that anybody is really going to believe what I'm going to say next, but I don't lie. I don't lie. Because it's not nice. No, that's not why I don't lie. I mean, it isn't nice. I don't lie because I suck at it. You can tell in my tone, my word choice and my expression tone and word choice. You can get expression you can't. This is radio. But you heard that opening about shack up women being unpaid whore and mistresses. This morning I got an email and I pulled the one I want to use. So you're not going to believe that it's the same subject. How is that even possible? Because he picks a call from all the calls of last week. Okay, so a dad, my adult son and his girlfriend contacted me to say they have bought a house together and are shacking up. She has been divorced twice and has three adopted minor children. My son, who has never married, claims he and his girlfriend have no intention of marrying but are happy to share their assets, liabilities and the bed with one another because both work and share ownership of the house and other assets. He claims his girlfriend is therefore not an unpaid whore. He this is. I don't care about that part. This next sentence just shows you what's happening with the younger ish generations. Okay, a woke phenomenon. I know it isn't real, but I'd like to think it's real. But I don't have to make assessments on my own. I don't have to make commitments and sacrifice. I just want everybody in my delusion. Okay, he wants me to welcome her into the family and pretend she is my daughter in law and her three adopted kids are my grandchildren. Do you agree with him? Absolutely not. How dare anybody even consider letting him spit on tradition and commitment. It is ridiculous.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Do you realize his idiot son does not really want to make a commitment to this woman and the kids so he's safe. Ish. I don't know. The law is going to hold him accountable for all kinds of things when they split up and she goes after him in a court and he gets all emotionally entangled with these children who have already had, I don't know, one or two losses. But here's the main point. Dad, pick up the phone, call your idiot son and say the following Idiot son, you can make this woman family by marrying her or adopting her. You can adopt an adult in a court of law. You can adopt her. Doesn't matter if her parents are dead or alive. So let me know when you marry her or adopt her. Until then, she's your shack, a punny. And these kids are not related to me at all because you haven't made them family. The only person who can make them family, my idiot son is you. You can't tell me to fantasize just like I'm a man, but I'm a woman so you have to go along with me because I decided it's so this idiot stuff. Unbelievable. Misplaced concept of compassion at the least. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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