What's a Divorced Dad to Do?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "What's a Divorced Dad to Do?"

Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
Episode Release Date: May 26, 2025

---

Introduction

In the episode titled "What's a Divorced Dad to Do?", Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses the challenges faced by divorced fathers navigating co-parenting dynamics with their adult children. This episode delves into the complexities of maintaining a healthy relationship with both the ex-spouse and the child, especially when new relationships are introduced.

Caller Background: Mark's Situation

Mark, a longstanding listener, initiates the conversation seeking advice on his strained relationship with his daughter following a 15-year divorce. He shares that he and his ex-wife were married for thirteen years and have a single daughter in her early 20s.

Notable Quote:
[00:42] Mark: "Well, I have an issue with the young daughter and I. We've been separated."

The Root Cause of the Divorce

Mark reflects on the primary reasons that led to his divorce, highlighting significant differences in parenting styles and life decisions that ultimately became insurmountable.

Notable Quote:
[01:50] Mark: "We had differences in how to live. Seemed like we had differences on how to raise our child, and it just caused..."

Challenges in Co-Parenting

A pivotal point in Mark's narrative is his disagreement with his ex-wife over introducing a new person into their household to help care for their daughter. Mark believed that two adults could manage without additional help, but his ex-wife felt differently, leading to increased tensions.

Notable Quote:
[02:51] Mark: "I wasn't in agreement with that because I thought that, you know, two people can handle one baby."

Daughter's Ultimatum and Its Impact

Mark reveals that his daughter has recently presented him with an ultimatum: reconcile with her mother or risk damaging his relationship with her. Mark firmly rejects the notion of rekindling his marriage, emphasizing his desire to lead a healthy, independent life.

Notable Quote:
[06:26] Mark: "I say I'm not gonna do that. We've done what we're doing... I love you. You can get together anytime or set up a time to get together, but no, your mother cannot come to my place."

Dr. Laura's Guidance

Dr. Laura acknowledges the emotional turmoil Mark is experiencing and advises him to engage in open communication with his ex-wife. She emphasizes the importance of co-parenting cooperation to understand each other's perspectives and to navigate the daughter's demands effectively.

Notable Quote:
[07:58] Dr. Laura: "It is my number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media... There's always something interesting going on there."

Actionable Advice

Dr. Laura underscores the necessity for Mark to have a candid conversation with his ex-wife to address their daughter's ultimatum. She suggests that understanding each other's viewpoints can pave the way for amicable solutions that prioritize the daughter's well-being without compromising personal boundaries.

Notable Quote:
[07:58] Dr. Laura: "You need to have a conversation with your ex. It's called co-parenting. You need to have a conversation with her to understand from her point of view what the heck is going on."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Dr. Laura encouraging listeners to seek proactive solutions in co-parenting scenarios. By fostering open dialogue and mutual respect, divorced parents can navigate the complexities of their relationships with their adult children more effectively.

---

Key Takeaways

• Communication is Crucial: Open and honest dialogue between ex-spouses is essential for effective co-parenting.

• Respecting Boundaries: It's important to balance personal well-being with parental responsibilities.

• Prioritizing the Child's Well-Being: Understanding and addressing the child's perspective can help in resolving conflicts.

Final Thoughts

"What's a Divorced Dad to Do?" offers insightful perspectives on the intricate dynamics of post-divorce relationships with adult children. Dr. Laura Schlessinger's empathetic and pragmatic approach provides valuable guidance for listeners facing similar challenges.

---

For more advice and to become a Family member, visit DrLaura.com. Listen live Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusXM Triumph 111.

Transcript

[Birch Lane Advertiser]

Welcome to Birch Lane, where you can find a fresh take on classic furniture and decor. Every piece is handpicked and crafted to last for years to come. At Birch Lane, you can explore everything from outdoor sets to living room furniture and everything in between. And get fast free shipping. It's classic style for joyful living. Shop [e-mail].

[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Mark, welcome to the program.

[Mark]

Hello, Doc. How are you today?

[Dr. Laura]

Excellent, thank you. How can I help?

[Mark]

Well, I have an issue with the young daughter and I. We've been separated.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry. A young daughter? How old does that make her?

[Mark]

Oh, she's actually the young lady. She's. She's in her early 20s.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Is she your only child?

[Mark]

She is.

[Dr. Laura]

And are you married to her mom?

[Mark]

No, not anymore. I'm divorced.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. So how long have you been divorced?

[Mark]

About 15 years now.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. How long were you married?

[Mark]

Thirteen.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. And what. What. Why did we end up with a divorce? What happened?

[Mark]

Well, it was a. It was a very tough situation for me because I'm. I'm a guy who likes to be involved with my child. I like to spend a lot of time with my child when I can. I like to spend time.

[Dr. Laura]

Why did you guys end up divorcing, was the question?

[Mark]

Well, because we had a difference. We had differences in how to live. Seemed to like. It seemed like we had differences on how to raise our child, and it just caused.

[Dr. Laura]

And what was the major difference in raising the child?

[Mark]

Well, I remember when we first came home, she would. Well, this is what happened. I told her. I said, because my daughter was four months old at the time, and we had just gotten a new house.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry. She was four months old when you first brought her home? She's adopted?

[Mark]

Yes. We. No, no. We lived in another part of the country, and we had to come back to the Midwest, and we were. We had to buy a new home.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Is this gonna lead me to knowing what the big difference in raising a child was about? Are you gonna help me out there?

[Mark]

I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. Well, I was. I made a statement to her about how we're gonna have to, you know, come together and, you know, raise this new baby and that she wanted to bring another person in the house to help take care of the baby. And I wasn't. I wasn't in agreement with that because I thought that, you know, two people can handle one baby. And I've been.

[Dr. Laura]

Who did she want to. Was she wanted to continue working full time or why did she want to have somebody in the house?

[Mark]

I didn't want to have somebody in the house because it was one of her family members and there was some issues with the family.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Normally speaking, I invite Mark. Normally speaking, I advise people before they're married to discuss all these sorts of things.

[Mark]

Correct? Correct.

[Dr. Laura]

So you guys didn't.

[Mark]

That was a big mistake.

[Dr. Laura]

Let's not discuss what marriage and life will be together. Let's just get horny and make it permanent. Okay, I got it. So you divorced and, you know, a kid pays the price. Don't laugh. It's annoying. So, Mark.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

What's your question for today?

[Mark]

Okay.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

Lights, Camera, Innovation. Walt Disney Studios chose advanced 5G solutions from T Mobile for Business to transform the moviemaking process. Together, we kept a remote production hub in Hawaii in sync with a team in California to bring Lilo and Stitch to theaters this summer. This is Picture Perfect collaboration. This is Walt Disney Studios with T Mobile for business. Take your business further@t mobile.com now.

[State Farm Advertiser]

If your small business is booming and ready to expand, you might say something like it's happening.

[Hershey's Advertiser]

Crushed it.

[State Farm Advertiser]

But if you need someone who can actually help protect your growing business, just say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And just like that, your State Farm agent can help you get the coverage you need for your new space for your small business insurance needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Hershey's Advertiser]

Hershey's Milk chocolate with Whole almonds makes for a wholly amazing, wholly delicious experience that's well holy Hershey's, everyone. To get to experience the satisfying surprise of a whole almond tucked inside creamy Hershey's chocolate. So don't wait your whole life to try Hershey's Milk chocolate with whole almonds. And if you've already had it, then chances are you're already a lifelong fan of this confectionary delight. Find Hershey's milk chocolate with whole almonds wherever candy is sold.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson report.

[Mark]

I think, I think my daughter is right now wants us to get back together for whatever reason. I don't know, I definitely do not want that to happen. We had a talk, told her, I said, I said, I, I love you and I want to spend time with you, but I don't need to spend time with your, your mother anymore. She's my ex wife for a reason. I don't want to be around her and she seemed to want me to interact with her and her mother and I just don't want to do that. So the issue was that I have a, I have brought on, I had brought in a new friend and, and.

[Dr. Laura]

She.

[Mark]

I mean, we're very, getting very close and I guess my daughter is not comfortable with it. And from my perspective, when she gave me that ultimatum about being with her mom and being with her, I said, well, I said I'm not gonna do that. We've done what we're doing. I mean, I raised you. I said, I love you. You can get, we can get together anytime or we can set up a time to get together, but no, your mother cannot come to my place. I don't want her around me. That's all. I said, doc, I just, you know, I just want to live a healthy life.

[Dr. Laura]

Have you, I understand that. Have you talked to your ex wife and ask her what's going on, that our daughter is making an ultimatum like that? I believe you need to have a conversation with your ex. It's called co parenting. You need to have a conversation with her to understand from her point of view what the heck is going on.

[Mark]

Okay. Okay. That might be a good suggestion that.

[Dr. Laura]

It might be or it, you know, is. It is my number. 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram@rxbar.

[RXBAR Advertiser]

They believe in simple nutrition without the BS. That's why they said no to artificial ingredients and yes to deliver intentional transparent nutrition. Try their original 12 gram protein bar, the nut butter and oat bar or Minis Rxbar, the proud sponsor of no BS. Use code RXBAR on RXBAR.com for 25% off. Subject to full terms and conditions and to change. Valid until September 30, 2025 and may not be combined with other offers. See rxbar.com for full details and limitations.