Will I Miss My Evil Mom?

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "Will I Miss My Evil Mom?"

Episode Details

• Title: Will I Miss My Evil Mom?
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Release Date: March 28, 2025
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction to Jackie's Dilemma

In this emotionally charged episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt call from Jackie, a listener grappling with longstanding emotional and physical abuse inflicted by her mother. Jackie reaches out seeking guidance on her complex relationship with her mother, whom she describes as "super abusive emotionally" despite having distanced herself since the age of 16.

Jackie's Background and Current Struggles

Jackie shares the depth of her childhood trauma, revealing that her mother was not only emotionally but also physically abusive. Despite leaving home at 16 to create distance, the emotional abuse persists into adulthood. Jackie expresses uncertainty about whether to reconnect with her mother now that she is nearing the end of her life, fearing there is "no hope for her."

Jackie (01:35): "...my mother has just always been so abusive. Like ridiculous, like really physically abusive when I was younger..."

Dr. Laura's Immediate Response

Dr. Laura empathizes with Jackie's pain, affirming that distancing herself has been a necessary and ultimately relieving decision. She acknowledges the emotional burden Jackie carries by not maintaining contact, suggesting that Jackie will feel "relieved" once her mother is no longer in her life.

Dr. Laura (02:06): "If she dies, you're going to be relieved."

Exploring the Emotional Impact

Jackie delves deeper into her feelings of guilt and embarrassment, admitting to a history of self-abuse related to her mother's treatment. She acknowledges that, unlike her siblings, she feels "in a better position" because she left home early, yet she remains haunted by the emotional scars.

Jackie (02:33): "... I would like to, if you can maybe give your opinion on like a lifetime situation I've had."

Dr. Laura's Reassurance and Empowerment

Dr. Laura confronts Jackie's feelings of embarrassment head-on, urging her to recognize that everyone has their own struggles. She emphasizes that what matters most is how one survives and overcomes personal challenges.

Dr. Laura (07:44): "We all have shit in our lives. Everybody. The whole world should be embarrassed all at once... our job is to survive it and do something beautiful with our lives."

Guided Reflection Exercise

Towards the latter part of the call, Dr. Laura guides Jackie through a powerful reflection exercise. She asks Jackie to affirm her journey and growth by looking into a mirror and repeating affirmations that acknowledge her pain and resilience.

Dr. Laura (09:14): "I want you to repeat after me... You went through a lot of shit with your mother... And now you're doing good."

Conclusion and Final Advice

As the call concludes, Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of self-acceptance and moving forward without the burden of past guilt or shame. She encourages Jackie to continue her path of healing and to embrace the strength she has cultivated over the years.

Dr. Laura (11:34): "Good. That's right. That's true for all of us."

Jackie expresses gratitude for the support and validation she received, affirming her commitment to maintaining her distance and focusing on her well-being.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura (02:13): "Yes, of course you will because you won't have to deal with it anymore."
• Dr. Laura (07:44): "We all have shit in our lives. Everybody. The whole world should be embarrassed all at once."
• Dr. Laura (09:14): "I want you to repeat after me... You went through a lot of shit with your mother."
• Dr. Laura (11:34): "Good. That's right. That's true for all of us."

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Key Takeaways

• Validation of Pain: Dr. Laura provides a safe space for Jackie to express her trauma, validating her experiences without judgment.

• Empowerment Through Acceptance: Emphasizing that everyone has their own struggles, Dr. Laura empowers listeners to accept their past and focus on building a better future.

• Healing Through Reflection: The guided reflection exercise serves as a therapeutic tool, helping Jackie acknowledge her journey and reinforce her resilience.

Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delivers compassionate and straightforward advice to Jackie, highlighting the importance of personal responsibility, self-acceptance, and the strength to overcome abusive relationships. Listeners are reminded that while everyone's path is fraught with challenges, the journey towards healing and personal growth is both possible and essential.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

For listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Jackie welcome to the program.

[Jackie]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thanks for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome.

[Jackie]

Well, I would like to, if you can maybe give your opinion on like a lifetime situation I've had. And the reason I was wanting your opinion is because I really have avoided telling people all about this stuff because it's just the lame in its lifetime. And now I'm older and it's basically my mother has just always been so abusive. Like ridiculous, like really physically abusive when I was younger and then I left when I was 16 and I just distanced myself my entire life. But she's still super abusive emotionally and you know, just her words and she's terrible. So I don't see her very often.

[Dr. Laura]

If you've distanced yourself, how does she get to you to be mean?

[Jackie]

Well, I distance myself in the way that I see her rarely I call her and the reason I do that minimal is because and that's where I wanted your opinion, you know, because it just kind of gets to me in my mind to start thinking like maybe I should reach out. But there is no hope for her. So before she dies, I just want to make sure that that's where I was just asking your opinion because I believe I'm doing the only when she.

[Dr. Laura]

Dies, you're going to be relieved.

[Jackie]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, of course you will because you won't have to deal with it anymore. You won't have to feel guilty that it's your mother and you're not calling her and maybe you're overdoing it. Maybe you should forgive her. You don't have to do any of that anymore. So you'll be relieved.

[Jackie]

Okay. I think that's it. It's just I don't like to. I've never had therapy for it because it just seemed like I don't really want to tell everybody all this weird stuff that's happened. But it's been a lot and I'm just better than the other siblings. I feel like I'm in a better position because I left when I was so young. And the way it's kind of evolving. I tell you, I just. Yikes. The physical and the mental. And you can't even call her without her insulting you. It's just strange. So anyway, I just wanted to make sure that I would get your opinion and see what you think about what I'm doing as far as completely distancing myself. Just.

[Dr. Laura]

Minimum, just.

[Jackie]

Hello, how are you?

[Dr. Laura]

Take the balloon and let it go.

[Jackie]

And you think I'll be okay after she's gone? All at once.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. You're okay now, right?

[Jackie]

Okay. Well, I appreciate that. That's all. I just thought I'd ask.

[Dr. Laura]

It sucks.

[Jackie]

I called before, so.

[Dr. Laura]

And everybody wants a mommy.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Because.

[Dr. Laura]

So there's all that little hope. And when she's dead, that's the end of hope. But it's also the end of struggling with it.

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[Jackie]

Just a little girl. You think she's faking? She has adult teeth. There are signs of puberty.

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[Jackie]

How old are you?

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You should get a lawyer.

[Jackie]

You have no idea how those people hurt this girl.

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[Jackie]

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[Dr. Laura]

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[Jackie]

Yeah, I guess it would just be nice to if there was a way to understand why who does this.

[Dr. Laura]

The circuits. The circuits in her brain. Yeah, well, there are people like that. There are people who killed their kids. I don't understand why you think it's unusual the number one cause of death in toddlers and younger is the mother, not a boyfriend.

[Jackie]

I think it was we heard that I left. I don't. Yeah, and I escaped it.

[Dr. Laura]

We don't corner the market on being nice just because we're females. I mean think about it. Most of the family troubles are usually started by the women. All those stupid reality show TVs, they're all about a bunch of bitchy women who undermine each other, etc. Think about it. Remember Susan Smith? She drowned her two boys because her new boyfriend didn't want kids.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I guess when you say it like that. I said I just get into my own head, you know, woe is me or something. But I. I guess my biggest concern was just to make sure that once she's dead I can't go back and call her. And I get a little bit worried because I have.

[Dr. Laura]

And why would you want to. What are you worried about?

[Jackie]

Well, I think when it affected me the most, I was abusive to myself and I got into this whole weird cycle of some physical problems that I was doing to myself. And since I've quit out of it like 27 years.

[Dr. Laura]

Are you still doing that?

[Jackie]

Absolutely not. And I.

[Dr. Laura]

Well then you are okay, Then you are okay and stop with the embarrassment. That's the only ridiculous thing I've heard you say. We all have shit in our lives. Everybody. The whole world should be embarrassed all at once. The whole world would be embarrassed all at one time. Come on, you're no different than me. You have shit, I have shit. That's it. And our job is to survive it and do something beautiful with our lives.

[Jackie]

Okay, well, thank you. Thank you for that. And that's your job.

[Dr. Laura]

Survive it and do something beautiful with your lives. This afternoon I'm planting three big petunia plants. That adds beauty to the world.

[Jackie]

Don't you think that does. If I anywhere near Greenston, I would do it, but I don't.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, no, I don't have a green thumb. No, no, no, no. They're already healthy. I don't think I could kill them at this point.

[Jackie]

All right. I do.

[Dr. Laura]

If they were in the house, they'd be dead soon. Yeah.

[Jackie]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, thank you. I'll just keep doing it. Keep going on, you know. Sad. It's sad.

[Dr. Laura]

What I'd like you to do. Do you have a mirror there or a reflecting window?

[Jackie]

Sure. I'm just sitting in my car.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. I want you to go look in the mirror and I want you to repeat after me.

[Jackie]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Ready? Jackie. Say it.

[Jackie]

Jackie.

[Dr. Laura]

You went through a lot of shit with your mother.

[Jackie]

You went through a lot of shit with your mother.

[Dr. Laura]

And then you followed her. And did a lot of to yourself.

[Jackie]

And then you followed her. What was that part?

[Dr. Laura]

And did a lot of to yourself.

[Jackie]

Yes. And did a lot of to yourself. Amen on that.

[Dr. Laura]

And now.

[Jackie]

And now you're doing good. You're doing good.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Nothing to be embarrassed about. You pulled it out of a hat. Good for you.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Jackie]

Thanks. And that means a lot because I don't mean keep going on because you have to get going, but I. I just have really. Never really talked to anybody about it because I guess when you're a kid, when you're young, it seems like I was just in a fog and I was embarrassed back then. And then as I grew older, I just stayed away. And now I'm in this cycle where she's probably going to pass away. And then I'm trying to figure out, oh, you know, I gotta make sure I close every door in my head.

[Dr. Laura]

There are no such doors. There are no such doors.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm 78. I remember to this day something unkind my dad said when I was probably about 12, wasn't abusive, it was just unkind. I remember that today. I don't dwell on it. It doesn't upset me. It crosses my mind. And I don't care anymore because I have my life. I'm proud of my life. So I don't care anymore. But it's never going to not be there. You'd have to have brain damage for it not to be there, Jackie.

[Jackie]

Right. Well, I do appreciate it. I do. And it gives me just more strength to be strong about doing what I'm doing. There's nothing I can do other than that.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. That's right. That's true for all of us.

[Jackie]

Okay, well, thank you so much for your advice, your opinion, and I will just do what I'm doing and call me anytime.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Jackie]

All right. Yes. Thank you so much. You're very welcome.

[Dr. Laura]

My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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