Worried Widow

Summary

Episode Summary: "Worried Widow"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Episode: Worried Widow
• Release Date: January 27, 2025

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Introduction

In the January 27, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt concern from a long-time listener grappling with introducing a new partner to her adult children. Titled "Worried Widow," this episode delves into themes of grief, personal growth, and familial relationships, offering no-nonsense advice grounded in ethics and accountability.

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Caller’s Dilemma

At 00:31, the episode transitions from commercial segments to Dr. Laura welcoming a caller named Alison to the program.

Alison shares her background:

• Family Tragedy: Alison lost her husband to a car accident when her youngest child was six months old.
• Single Parenting: She has raised two adult children on her own for nearly two decades, ensuring they were surrounded by positive male role models.
• New Relationship: After a 19-year hiatus from dating, Alison has been discreetly seeing a man for about a year.
• Concerns: With the holidays approaching, Alison is anxious about how to introduce her new partner to her adult children without undermining the memory of their late father.

Quote:

"I'm worried that they will think that I am no longer respecting their dad by moving forward."
—Alison [03:12]

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Dr. Laura’s Guidance

Dr. Laura addresses Alison’s concerns with directness and empathy, guiding her through the emotional complexities of the situation.

1. Clarifying Worries:

   • Dr. Laura encourages Alison to articulate her true fears rather than assuming her children’s feelings.

   Quote:

   "What are you worried about?"
   —Dr. Laura [03:01]

2. Respecting the Past While Embracing the Present:

   • She emphasizes that Alison’s decision to move forward does not disrespect her late husband.
   • Acknowledges the inevitability of Alison’s happiness and the importance of living life fully despite her loss.

   Quote:

   "He is dead. You're alive. Which means you live. You take advantage of being alive to respect the fact that he lost that privilege."
   —Dr. Laura [04:08]

3. Introducing the New Partner:

   • Dr. Laura advises against procrastinating by waiting for the holidays to make the introduction.
   • Recommends a straightforward, confident approach when bringing her partner into the family dynamic.

   Quote:

   "I suggest you don't wait for holidays any day. Now say I'd like, I've been seeing somebody for a while. I think he is a really good man."
   —Dr. Laura [08:25]

4. Maintaining Parental Authority:

   • She underscores the importance of Alison not appearing apprehensive or seeking her children’s approval overtly.
   • Encourages Alison to present her partner as a positive addition without granting her children veto power.

   Quote:

   "Don't give them any power. And I'd like him to meet the two most wonderful young people in the stratosphere."
   —Dr. Laura [09:03]

5. Handling Potential Resistance:

   • Dr. Laura reassures Alison that her children will need to adjust but emphasizes that their happiness should take precedence.
   • Highlights the distinction between their mother’s happiness and the children’s feelings towards the new relationship.

   Quote:

   "And so of course he's not their dad. Their dad is dead. Well, it doesn't matter if they're happy or not. They'll have an adjustment to make."
   —Dr. Laura [08:15]

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Encouragement and Affirmation

Dr. Laura concludes the conversation by commending Alison on her strengths and positive parenting.

Quote:

"Good woman. Proud of you. You did everything right."
—Dr. Laura [11:03]

She reinforces the importance of Alison’s role as a parent and affirms her capability to navigate this new chapter confidently.

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Conclusion

In "Worried Widow," Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides compassionate yet straightforward advice to Alison, empowering her to balance honoring her late husband’s memory while embracing a new relationship. By addressing fears directly and promoting honest communication, Dr. Laura helps Alison move forward with confidence and integrity, ensuring the well-being and happiness of her entire family.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Alison [03:12]: "I'm worried that they will think that I am no longer respecting their dad by moving forward."
• Dr. Laura [04:08]: "He is dead. You're alive. Which means you live. You take advantage of being alive to respect the fact that he lost that privilege."
• Dr. Laura [08:25]: "I suggest you don't wait for holidays any day. Now say I'd like, I've been seeing somebody for a while. I think he is a really good man."
• Dr. Laura [09:03]: "Don't give them any power. And I'd like him to meet the two most wonderful young people in the stratosphere."
• Dr. Laura [11:03]: "Good woman. Proud of you. You did everything right."

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This episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners facing similar challenges, illustrating Dr. Laura’s blend of empathy and tough love in guiding individuals through personal and familial transitions.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Alison welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome.

[Caller]

So thank you. So I'm a longtime listener. I was raised on you. My mother always listened to you in the car, you know, on the way to school. So I am in my 40s and I have two adult very ugly children. They are my daughter is 22 and my son is 20. They are wonderful young adults navigating their way. When my youngest, I'm just going to jump right into it. When my youngest was six months old, I lost his father to a car accident. So I have raised my children as a single mom. I never dated. I haven't dated at all. When they were growing up, I surrounded them with good male role models and family and worked very hard and I think provided a pretty good life. We always kept their dad, you know, alive in our hearts and in our home. So now here's my question. For the last year I've been kind of discreetly dating this man that I met through some friends and he's a great guy and completely understood, you know, my 20, 20 year hiatus or my 19 year hiatus. But now we're about a year in and my, my kids are getting, you know, suspicious. They're like, mom must be seeing someone. Why are you smiling so much and, and whatnot. And so with the holidays coming up, I guess I just wanted to pick your brain about kind of how to introduce him or if that's appropriate even.

[Dr. Laura]

Or okay, slow down, you're confusing. Woohoo. You're confusing me. They're all adults now.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

What are you worried about?

[Caller]

Well, I guess I'm worried because, no.

[Dr. Laura]

Not worried because what are you worried about? What I'm worried that blankety blank will happen.

[Caller]

I'm worried. I'm worried that they will think that I am no longer respecting their dad by moving forward.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh my God, woman. That you're not worried. They're thinking that you're thinking that.

[Caller]

Oh come on, Dr. Lohr, don't make me cry.

[Dr. Laura]

And one has nothing to do with the other. You're not dead.

[Caller]

I know how you.

[Dr. Laura]

He's dead. Woohoo. He's dead. You're alive. Which means you live. You take advantage of being alive to respect the fact that he lost that privilege.

[Caller]

Yeah, I understand.

[Dr. Laura]

You got it backwards.

[Caller]

I. I guess you know, I. I know how you know. I know how I wanted. I know how I wanted to keep him alive. And I guess I. Well, I know that you know, the love.

[Dr. Laura]

He is dead. He is dead. You loved him. He was a great guy and he's dead.

[Caller]

Yeah.

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[Dr. Laura]

You did a good job in taking care of your children without bringing emotional drama with boyfriends, and they grew up beautifully. Now get on with your adult life.

[Caller]

And if they don't like him, that's their choice, right?

[Dr. Laura]

Why are you worried about them liking him? Is there something wrong with him? Is he not polite? Is he not sweet? Is he not thoughtful? Is he not caretaking? Is there some reason they would find him objectionable?

[Caller]

No, no. He's just not their dad.

[Dr. Laura]

And so of course he's not their dad. Their dad is dead. Well, it doesn't matter if they're happy or not. They'll have an adjustment to make.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

So you do it politely. I suggest you don't wait for holidays any day. Now say I'd like, I've been seeing somebody for a while. I think he is a really good man.

[Caller]

He's terrific.

[Dr. Laura]

I think he's really a good man. And he's thoughtful and considerate. He's smart. He. He can fix plumbing. He can be very useful, I'm sure. And I'd like you to meet him. Not say to them, I want to make sure you like him. Don't give them any power. And I'd like him to meet the two most wonderful young people in the stratosphere.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

So you put it on. You want him to meet the kids you're so proud of. That gives them a whole different perspective that makes them more interested. And don't look and don't sound like and don't give forth any sense that you are afraid that you'll get their negativity. It doesn't work that way. You're the parent.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Now to see Ebony Minor kids. He does not have any kids at all.

[Caller]

He's never been married. No. He's never been married and he has no children.

[Dr. Laura]

And he.

[Caller]

What does.

[Dr. Laura]

What has motivated him to never be married?

[Caller]

His career.

[Dr. Laura]

What does that mean, his career?

[Caller]

So he's a doctor and he works for unicef, and so he's traveled all over the world, and we actually met at. Through mutual friends at his retirement party. So he retired early.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Caller]

And he's a good guy. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Don't go into this like you're begging for acceptance, please.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Go into this that you met a very nice man through friends. And that's how you should say it. I met a very nice man through friends. Been sort of seeing him for about a year. I think he's a really good guy, and I'd like him to meet the two best kids in the world. Then they feel complimented, not like they get a chance to veto.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. All right.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Good woman. Proud of you. You did everything right. I like it. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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