667: Dr. Caleb Lance

Summary

Duncan Trussell Family Hour - Episode 667: Dr. Caleb Lance

Release Date: February 14, 2025

In this enlightening episode of the Duncan Trussell Family Hour, comedian Duncan Trussell welcomes Dr. Caleb Lance, a prominent figure in the field of cognitive security and author of the best-selling book, "Combating Misinformation in the DMT Realm." The conversation delves deep into the intricate relationship between psychedelics, particularly dimethyltryptamine (DMT), and the pervasive issue of misinformation and disinformation that threatens cognitive security.

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1. Introduction to Cognitive Security and Misinformation in the DMT Realm

Duncan opens the discussion by addressing the audience's growing concern over cognitive security and the rampant spread of misinformation, especially within psychedelic communities. Recognizing the need for expert insight, he introduces Dr. Caleb Lance as the ideal guest to shed light on these pressing issues.

Notable Quote:

Duncan Trussell [00:00]: “...how do we protect the cognitive condition of Americans from the never ending influx of mis and disinformation.”

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2. Dr. Caleb Lance’s Inspiration and Background

Dr. Lance shares his inspiration for writing "Combating Misinformation in the DMT Realm," drawing from his extensive research and previous works, including a lesser-known book titled "Banging the Cinnamon Drum." He emphasizes the importance of understanding how altered states of consciousness, like those induced by DMT, can be fertile grounds for misinformation.

Notable Quote:

Dr. Caleb Lance [05:06]: “It came from a book that I actually read and was written in the late twenties called Banging the Cinnamon Drum.”

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3. The Impact of Liminal Spaces on Psychedelic Experiences

The conversation transitions to the concept of liminal spaces—transitional or transformative spaces that exist between different states of being—and their significant impact on DMT experiences. Dr. Lance explains how these spaces can both comfort and disorient individuals, making them susceptible to external influences and misinformation.

Notable Quote:

Dr. Caleb Lance [06:10]: “Liminal spaces... look sort of like you don't know where it is, you don't know how big it is. You just sort of know it's a space.”

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4. Emergence of Subversive Entities (DSEs) in the DMT Space

Dr. Lance introduces the concept of Directly Subversive Entities (DSEs) that proliferate within the DMT-induced cognitive landscape. These entities represent the unauthorized and often malicious dissemination of altered narratives designed to manipulate and destabilize cognitive security.

Notable Quote:

Duncan Trussell [12:08]: “...the emergence of directly subversive entities, what you call DSEs within the endogenous neurocognitive engagement space.”

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5. Mitigation Strategies for Cognitive Security Threats

Addressing the threats posed by DSEs, Dr. Lance outlines several methodologies aimed at mitigating the unauthorized spread of divergent ideologies. He highlights the use of scaffolded cognitive anchors and bio-neurosomatic conditioning routines as effective countermeasures to reinforce consensus realities and prevent the infiltration of harmful narratives.

Notable Quote:

Dr. Caleb Lance [12:42]: “...embedding pre calibrated cognitive anchors into the user's phenomenological intake loop.”

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6. Hermetic Cognitive Security Helmet: A Revolutionary Approach

One of the episode's highlights is the introduction of Dr. Lance's recently patented Hermetic Cognitive Security Helmet. This innovative device is designed to protect individuals from cognitive intrusions during psychedelic experiences, ensuring that their breakthroughs remain authentic and untainted by external misinformation.

Notable Quote:

Duncan Trussell [25:05]: “...your recently patented hermetic cognitive security helmet.”

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7. Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Dr. Lance emphasizes the critical need for heightened cognitive security measures in an age where information—both accurate and misleading—is more accessible than ever. He advocates for proactive strategies to safeguard individual cognition, especially within the vulnerable states induced by psychedelics like DMT.

Notable Quote:

Dr. Caleb Lance [46:56]: “...the perception of something is not necessarily the reality of it, and possibly the perception of loss is just a feign in order to gain a win.”

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Final Thoughts

Episode 667 of the Duncan Trussell Family Hour offers a profound exploration into the vulnerabilities of human cognition in the face of pervasive misinformation, particularly within psychedelic experiences. Dr. Caleb Lance's expertise provides listeners with a comprehensive understanding of the challenges and potential solutions in maintaining cognitive security in the modern information age.

For those interested in delving deeper into this subject, Dr. Lance's book, "Combating Misinformation in the DMT Realm," serves as an essential resource for navigating and safeguarding the intricacies of the cognitive landscape influenced by psychedelics.

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the main content of the episode, excluding advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content related sections to provide a clear and comprehensive overview of the discussion between Duncan Trussell and Dr. Caleb Lance.

Transcript

[Duncan Trussell]

Hello everybody. Welcome to the dtfh. I have heard your messages online. I know that you guys are interested in cognitive security. I know you are interested in how do we protect the cognitive condition of Americans from the never ending influx of mis and disinformation. And you keep asking, Dougie, why don't you have someone in the security field, specifically the cognitive security field, on your show? And so I got you, not just anybody. Dr. Caleb Lance, author of Combating Misinformation in the DMT Realm. Because I know a lot of you like psychedelics and you might not know some of the information you're getting there is not real. It's actually misinformation or disinformation. Dr. Caleb Lance set me straight and I think he will make you feel a lot more cognitively secure the next time you have a breakthrough experience on any psychedelic. Also, if you don't want commercials, if you don't want to deal with it, just become a member. And do my beloved members bless you. Thank you for becoming a member of the dtfh. Also, if you happen to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma and you're listening this the week of February 13th to the 15th, come see me at the Bricktown Comedy Club. You can find all my tour [e-mail] and there's a beautiful shop that we have there. Check it out. I'm always putting new designs up that I create. The most current one is loving that Taylor Swift music. Check it out. Show everybody that you love that Taylor Swift music. You can find [e-mail] in the shop. And now everybody please welcome Dr. Caleb Lance Lanz Lam. Welcome to the DTFH, a podcast dedicated to cognitive security in the information age. For those of you new to the podcast, this podcast explains the changing challenge vectors that many are experiencing who work in the intelligence and data industry. With us Here today is Dr. Caleb Vance, author of best selling book Combating misinformation in the DMT realm. Dr. Vance, Dr. Lance, I'm so. We'll cut that.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's okay. People get it wrong all the time. Don't worry about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Forgive me, Dr. Lance, I just have to say it is an honor to meet you and your book is one of the greatest contributions to this challenge area of misinformation, disinformation and cognitive security that has ever been written. At least in the last 10 years. Thank you for being on the show.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Thank you so much for having me, Duncan. It's a pleasure to be here. Big fan. I have to say that. Get that out of the way.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

We've been following you. I say we, I mean me, but I have a team. So I want to say thanks to my team right now. Thank you, team, for reading the things that I don't have time for. Which actually we can get into later about Realm reading, which is something we're talking beginning into. Yes, publicly, soon. Here is realm reading.

[Duncan Trussell]

Great.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Which is sort of. Yeah, it's like dark uploads, essentially.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I would love to get into dark uploads, but I think I would be doing my listeners a disservice if we didn't dive right in to your incredible book. Now, for hobby DMT users out there, people who enjoy going into the dimethyltryptamine space, you might be surprised to hear that a lot of the information that you're getting in there from the self transforming machine elves, the variety of talking columns, and the glowing runes that somehow you're able to read even though you don't know that language isn't always true. And honestly, as you know, I'm someone who loves dmt. I have an entire DMT vapor shower where when I take showers, I also go in the DMT realm. And you get much cleaner.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sometimes I would get the sense that some of the data that I was getting within that space might not be completely true. And then I found your book and realized that I, like so many other Americans, people around the world who recreationally use DMT on the regs, we're actually opening ourselves up to potentially nefarious data sets designed to co opt and corrupt the data landscape in the United States. So what inspired you to write this book?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, it came from a book that I actually read and was written in the late twenties called Banging the Cinnamon Drum.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And it's by an unknown author. I think a lot of people think it's a collaboration between three different professors.

[Duncan Trussell]

Interesting.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

At the Research Triangle Raleigh. Yeah, exactly. And they think that that was a collaboration between them. Being in the Cinnamon Drum is all about reverberations.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Inside of a liminal space. So when we talk about DMT experiences, I think we're talking about these areas. And you see these now in popular. You've been in children's memes and videos. Liminal spaces. These spaces that look sort of like you don't know where it is, you don't know how big it is. You just sort of know it's a space space. Some people find a lot of comfort in it, some people find a lot of extreme discomfort in it. And I think that's because we don't know what the truthiness is of the area. And that's where that's how it all started. Because Banging the Cinnamon Drum is about how powder can be a solid.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now, you know what's so interesting about that title, Banging the Cinnamon Drum is that is the exact terminology that my ex wife used when she would peg me. And you know what I mean? And she had not, she had not even read that book or as far as I'm aware, she couldn't read. But. And I'm glad that she's not in my life anymore, to be honest.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

But you're good for not having that. I'm sure that that's probably a great joke you've done in probably a stand up set. I haven't been to many.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't talk about that on. I mean, no, I would never. That is not a joke. And I did not enjoy being pegged and, and I didn't. And I had to be pegged by her because.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, you, you didn't ask to be.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, no, of course not.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's very strange.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, why is that strange? I. I didn't because I want to be pegged.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, most people want to be pegged as far as I know.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know that. Listen, if you want to be pegged, be pegged. But when the person pegging you is like gonna take your house and destroy your life and says, you know, if you don't let me pet peg you times a day, I'm signing the papers, baby. And then that means you.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Three times a day.

[Duncan Trussell]

She banged the drum three times a day. Bang the cinnamon drum. Now, I don't want to get into about me, but I do want to talk about liminal spaces and said reverberations. When anyone mentions liminal spaces, the first thing that comes to mind is the terminal c near gate A14, men's bathroom at the Atlanta airport. Of all the liminal spaces I've been in, those reverberations are unlike anything I've ever experienced. And I'm sure you're aware of that and of course you do mention it in your book, but could you talk a little bit about the research you did in that bathroom?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, the big thing about that is it's largely a contingent on the velocity of non consensus ideation. Yes, that's within sort of a shared reality construct. And this whole strategic imperative is now just mitigation through predictive modeling, which sort of ensures that we don't reach a tipping point where unverified narratives Achieve this mimetic self replication at scale. Because we're talking about scale here. And so we talk about the Atlanta bathroom. That's a 1 scale. So that's a singular 1 scale. Not a singularity, but a singular. It's a 1 scale.

[Duncan Trussell]

And by the way, I'm sorry to cut you off. When you smoke DMT in that bathroom, it scales up.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, I'm sure it does.

[Duncan Trussell]

And so at that point you realize it's not a bathroom at all. You realize that it's some kind of hold or something in a mothership. And you see the windows, you see outside the windows what was formerly the waft of nervous anxiety, diarrhea drifting up from the various stalls, coalescing is some kind of awful swampy stink that reminds you of an ancient place cursed by the gods. Suddenly you realize that's the waft of the exhaust of the spaceship engine. It has nothing to do with the many types of spray coming from men who are relieving themselves from that bathroom.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's a good point. I think it's a lot of. Well, these nonlinear challenges are. The groundwork we have to break is because the thing of a toilet, this is a place you defecate into. It's stinky. No one ever wants to eat out of a toilet. No one even. Let's just say you drop your super important car keys in the toilet. In a clean toilet that's been flushed maybe 10,000 times, 10,000 times since the last BM.

[Duncan Trussell]

Freshly sanitized, freshest still, unless you come.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

From a place that doesn't have toilets, you're going to be reticent to stick your hand in there. And that's. And can you think of a better hiding place for information than a place that is universally considered dirty? And that's where all this starts, is we have a place that is the transformation zone. That is the access point to the sacred zone.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, you mean the DMT realm by that.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Exactly. What better way to guard that than to make it seem as though it is filthy, disgusting and terrible. And to have people, millions and millions of men who are eating just like enchiladas and like heavy salty cheeses, maybe varieties of packaged snacks that have tons of sun gum, sun chips, things that are chopped and formed and reformed and dehydrated so they create like a significant amount of bacterial overgrowth inside the colon. Yeah, all these things, people, millions and millions of people are defecating into these, these zones. And let's just say that 1% of them are portals. That's a lot. That's a lot of toilets. And that's a safeguard. That's something that we don't know where it came from. We know this was designed as a safeguard to prevent people from accessing these areas who aren't fully committed.

[Duncan Trussell]

I got you. And obviously the current trend towards dimethyltryptamine consumption, whether it's via smoking it ayahuasca or any of the ways. Shit slamming. Yep, absolutely. Or the. Or the current titration of dimethyltryptamine for the long term experiences is clearly producing, as Joe Biden said, a national security threat that must be addressed. Now I have to ask, your research identifies the emergence of directly subversive entities, what you call DSEs within the endogenous neurocognitive engagement space. What methodologies are being deployed to mitigate the unauthorized ideational proliferation associated with these incursions?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, that's actually a pretty good question there. I would say that, you know, with that area right there, I would say that the interims are functioning as a scaffolding for perceptual integrity, essentially by embedding pre calibrated cognitive anchors into the user's phenomenological intake loop. Then we can just passively reinforce consensus ontologies while simultaneously mitigating the uptake of divergent of models that are from bad actors. It's pretty hands off, but it's effective.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Just to talk about some of those divergent models people are encountering within the dimethyltryptamine realm, the State Department just released a list of some of these divergent models that again many of us, if you're subscribed to TikTok, and again I understand why that was a security threat because as the State department mentioned, the TikTok was one of the primary outflow valves other than experientially using DMT through which these divergent models are emerging in the form of, you know, hippies doing raps and songs about things that they. These models, hippy squawk.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

We call it dread Squawk.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dread Squawk. Yeah, the dread. And you know, this dread squawk is actually having some kind of influence on the machinations of ISIS and other terrorist threats overseas, which is really fascinating to me. But in this list I was fascinated to actually see things that I had been told and just. I'll name one of them. I'm sure you've heard this a million times before. I saw a gelatinous reverberation column within the column, blinking eyes. And like most of us who have experientially recreationally taken dimethyltryptamine. It's not like it talks. It's like it sort of telepathically tells you something. Right. And so it was really like making a very compelling argument for taking slices of deli ham, putting it in an envelope and mailing it to the White House. And of course, I would never do that for a lot of different reasons. I don't want to put rotting meat through the mail system. It's an exploitation of the mail system. And I. Obviously, the White House is dealing with enough of the many problems that our country faces at any given moment. The last thing they need to do is in the mail room. Someone has to keep opening envelopes of deli meat mailed to them by people who talk to these columns. But can you tell me how much meat is being mailed to the White House because of these divergent loops that people are absorbing via the. The information inflow from the dimethyltrypsamine round?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, I can't tell you exactly because I don't work in the White House, but I have a lot of friends and co workers and compatriots who I've talked to over the years who are aware of this and the White House, you say yourself you did not have not mailed any ham.

[Duncan Trussell]

Nor would I ever.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay, well, you're one of the few people who hasn't typically. Wow. It's about a 95 to 8, 90 to 97 success rate. When the gelatinous blob, we all. We know this gelatinous blob is very well known in the intelligence community. When it suggests mailing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now, I saw a column, that's why.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, column blob.

[Duncan Trussell]

So some see this as a blob because that was one of the things it told me is it said, right now, I'm a column, but I can be a blob if you want me to. And I said, just calm's cool.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

We always quote Shakespeare a lot. Which is a rose by any other name would still be a rose, you know.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, it's technically just.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Just a sweep. But Colin, Blob. Any type of a cylinder, any type of a phallic imagery. Yeah, because obviously it's your father asking you to mail slices of the tip of his penis, which is the ultimate sacrifice a man can make.

[Duncan Trussell]

Of course, it was right there in front of me. Of course I knew that column looked familiar.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And so 97, 95, 97 of people who experience this, males who experience this. This vision inside the dmt. Space. They will mail deli meat. Not always ham.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's males. Is this a primary, like male experience?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Because ladies aren't seeing that blob.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

No, they're saying something different, but it's, it's correspondingly different. Women tend to mail pieces of small baggies of powdered granite or other types of really hard Ignatius rock. Ah, yeah. Powdered stone. Where the men do the slicing of a deli meat as thin as possible sometimes. We've had, we've had instances where certain areas of the country got hit really hard because of the barometric pressure and people were buying up all the deli slicers within 100 miles.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's incredible.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Obsessively slicing. Some guy, one guy even built a laser apparatus to slice Capricola Gabagool. I'm actually a big fan of Italian sliced meats. I'm going to tell you myself, I do love a good Italian subs. Oh, for me, when I learned this, I got pretty hungry and I'll probably be having a sandwich later today from an Italian place because I just like it so much.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, let's just pause here for a second. I do have to say this is something within this data space where we completely align and I want to ask, do you like aged meats?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I really like aged meat. I love a dry, aged beef. I also, my wife and I went to is it Parma? The place that has the legs of the pork that's aged.

[Duncan Trussell]

You slice it Parma.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Every year for Christmas my wife and kids get me a new leg and I just love it. I have it all day, I'm shaving.

[Duncan Trussell]

On the leg and oh my God, it's delicious, you know, and I'll tell you something that got me super sick. And I hope folks listening never try this.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It makes me sick.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, what really is going to make you sick? And if I get like a good Parma, you know, and overeat, like a Super Bowl, I always eat almost the whole like a Parma. But I was driving home and a pig had been hit by a car from a local farm, organic. And I guess it had gotten out or anything like that. And it was a mess. There's guts all over the road. But one of its legs seemed to me to be fine. And you know, assuming that all you do is let the thing age, I just took the leg home, I put it in a closet. Assuming that if it was in that liminal space long enough, I would be able to have some like Parma, like discount Parma is what I kept joking with my ex wife and at the time. And yeah, as it turns out, that is not safe at all. I was in the hospital for three days because of that meat. Made me so sick. And she didn't. She didn't visit me once.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It might have been for the best because if she visited you, she might have got a side bloom. She might have still got a contagious side bloom from the. The parmahan. And she would have been sort of infected like Cryptosporidium.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And might have then in turn decided to wage war against you in a sort of a. What's that called? When the people with the.

[Duncan Trussell]

Asymmetric. Asymmetric Biological Warfare via Badly Age Meat. And that. By the way, I love that book. Just a plug for you. Asymmetrical Biological Warfare via Badly Prepared Death. Badly Prepared meat. It's the new. It's the new front we're all fighting on. Now, let me. Let me just jump into some more questions I have for you, if you don't mind. And I'm happy to hear that we both loved Love Aged meat. Few decades ago, private citizens used to be largely that private. What changed? The Internet. Think about everything you've browsed, searched for, watched or tweeted. Now imagine all that data being crawled, collected and aggregated by data brokers into a permanent public record. Your record having your private life exposed for others to see was once something only celebrities worried about. But in an era where everyone is online, everyone is a public figure. To keep my data private when I go online so that people don't know, I like to pleasure myself to footfall fetish. Born at the Springfield Suites, I turned to Express vpn. One of the easiest ways for data brokers to track you is through your device's unique IP address, which also reveals information about your location. Think about that. That little address, that little address. As the X marks the spot on your browser history full of embarrassing footfall fetish porn. With ExpressVPN, your IP address is hidden. That makes it much more difficult for data brokers to monitor, track and monetize your private online activity by identifying you as someone who enjoys foot fetish porn, which I do not. Whenever I go to a hotel, no matter what I'm looking at online, whether it's the New York Times, which I love to read, and maybe for some of you, Xhamster, some disgusting website where you immediately find the top rated foot fetish or foot job videos of the week, ExpressVPN helps you stay private. I mean, come on, let's face it, that's what it's all about, right? You really don't care if somebody knows what subreddit you frequent. Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty bird. You need ExpressVPN. Are you freaking kidding me? Are you out of your mind? You're really going online without a vpn? Are you out of your mind? Seriously, don't do that. ExpressVPN is easy, man. That's the main point. You don't want to spend a lot of time before you go and look at a controversial article in National Geographic that you worry that people in your academic communities might judge you for reading. You just want to read the article and ExpressVPN, you just press a button and boom. Nobody knows you're reading medical journals or researching laws of physics or something. And you don't want, maybe you're a jock and you don't want your jock friends to know that you like to from time to time read poetry and so use Express VPN just in case someone found out that you had recently become infatuated with T.S. eliot. That's why you protect yourself. And it's easy. That's the point. Protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com Duncan that's E-P-R-E-S-S VPN.com Duncan and you can get an extra four months free. Expressvpn.com Duncan don't let your bros know you love to read poetry. Expressvpn.com Duncan yeah, I love it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I'm going to have it. It makes me feel very bad sometimes, but I sort of consider it a price to pay.

[Duncan Trussell]

There are growing discourses around unauthorized hyperdimensional narrative access UHNA as a significant epistemic destabilization threat. Do you see future integration of bio neurosomatic conditioning routines as a scalable countermeasure?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's a great question. Well, I mean, the truth is it's already happening. The BNCR framework is designed to establish cognitive baselines before, during, and you know, pretty much after exposure to events. So the whole timeline. But by implementing like a scalable neuro somatic interventions, we're seeing like a marked reduction in rogue narrative adherence, particularly in these high risk psychonautical demographics.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, well that's good news. Yeah, and that's partially because of your work. Now, cognitive security, this is the number one topic when it comes to national security. We're beginning to understand that cognitive security is imperative to maintain national state paradigms and that because of the nature of social media, and not just social media in the earth realm, but in the DMT realm, we are looking at breaches, egregious breaches of cognitive security. And so I want to talk to you about your recently patented hermetic cognitive security helmet. And before I bring that up, I do very quickly want to tell you a little anecdote. I woke up one evening. 3am, something like that.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, that's the morning.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, well, I call it the evening. It's the evening. I mean, technically it's the evening.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

3Am is the morning.

[Duncan Trussell]

Nope, that's the evening because you're asleep.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay, so this is what I'm seeing right now is you probably have some sort of a. This might be what we call over leak or. It's called initiation seepage.

[Duncan Trussell]

Initiation seepage.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's called direct or direct denial. It's where a person, due to osmosis or proximity to something, will have a directly opposite idea of something. Like someone will say, we'll say, did you have a good day? And this will be in the morning. They'll be, obviously they've just woken up. And so they can't have had a good day. So they'll be referring to a dream. It's because they've got everything flipped around. It's flip flop. What this means is they're in the process of fully flipping to the other side, but they're caught in the middle because the last 5% is the hardest part to push over the flip.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes, well, okay, you might just be.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

In that right now.

[Duncan Trussell]

I accept everything you're saying. I'm fully aware of the fact that I, like so many other Americans, are cognitively insecure. And I'm going to tell my cognitive security manager, my CSM right now. Jerry, 3:00am can you shift that ontologically to night, not morning, please? Done. Thank you.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

No, you gotta switch it back to morning. It's morning. 3:00am's morning.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay. Yeah, do a flip back to morning. Now, night is morning and morning is night. Is that what you're saying?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, I'm saying that morning's morning and night is night.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, sorry, Jerry. I'm sorry. Morning is morning, night is night. Can you. You got that? Got it. Okay. Thank you. And folks out there, if you don't have a csm, this is a perfect time for me to bring up one of today's 700 sponsors. Cognitive Security management is one of the most important things you can give yourself and your family. And on Valentine's Day, give the gift that keeps on giving. A brand new cognitive Security management trained by the hermetic or order of security engineers. The Hermetic order of security engineers bringing Cognitive security to The New America CognitiveSecurity.com and if you use offer code DUNCAN79, you will get 15% off the first month of service from this cognitive security manager. Anyway, what happened to me is there was a being look like a doctor? A little.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

When you say look like a doctor, you mean, like, look like a doctor, like, had like a lab coat on and stuff or what?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. You know how, like, when doctors put face masks on you, you can't. You can only see, like the bottom of their nose. And then when doctors wear big masks, like the sniper's masks, you know, like face masks you wear. The doctors wear. I don't know what those are called, but they wear these masks so you don't smell their breath. And then they've got.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's also the sniper's mask, right? The slit eyes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Very similar to the sniper's mask. Except in this case, like, most doctors wear those big, weird black goggles over their face. And then they have the face mask so you can't see. You can only see the little slit of their nose. And they wear those weird gray outfits with the dangly arms. Looked exactly like that. And this doctor was literally, like using some kind of laser to cut open my head. I could only see this because he set a mirror up in front of me and he was opening up my. A quadrant of my skull, taking out bits of my brain, replacing them with identical bits of brain, and then he glued the whole thing up. He did a rectal exam with his finger. Very similar to E.T. that glowing thing which, honest to God, when you've been getting pegged three times day, it ain't. It doesn't feel good down there. And it healed that. And I felt so much better till the morning. And, you know, I got woken up. But anyway, my point is, what the was that, man? And I'm sorry to cry.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So this was. This was in real life experience this.

[Duncan Trussell]

I still have the scar. That's why I'm wearing. That's why I wear it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

What was that? I mean, I guess I would say the first thing you need is go back to the institution that performed at and ask if you can have a record of that doctor where they went to school, their name.

[Duncan Trussell]

It was in my. She was in my bedroom.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So it was a house call? Well, I would think, yes. Want to know how they got your house and who called them?

[Duncan Trussell]

No idea.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

If you called them. You don't know who called them?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I was afraid to move or say Anything because he was cutting my skull open and I didn't want to hurt my brain. And then when he was. Especially when he pulled bits of my brain out, you know, I didn't want to startle him by saying something because what if he dropped those brains or the new brain bits that he put into my. Into the gap.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It sounds like you're having what we call a pepper's pan or pepper.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pepper's.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Pepper's peak. Pepper's pan. It's people named after this guy, Jonathan Jakes Peppers, who was a. Actually a forest ranger in Yosemite. And he was struck by lightning a record number of times, and he stopped being able to differentiate between dreams and reality.

[Duncan Trussell]

Gotcha.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And he would do things in life that would start to happen in his dreams and vice versa. Was this a classic?

[Duncan Trussell]

You mean like he had. Like that sounds like magic. You're saying that, like he would. He was having dreams that would then. Or pre. Cog, I guess. Are you saying that he could manipulate this sphere of reality or this challenge space using dream logic or something?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

He wasn't manipulating anything. It was. He was being manipulated because he did a thing where he. He started using the bathroom without flushing at all. And he would stick his hand into the. Into the toilet trying to get through to the other side. And this is why we have such a problem with like rats and snakes when they come up the toilet, how we. We all instinctively hate that. We just hate it. So it's because it represents the negative. The other side of our brain, which was. It was just 51% of brain is the dark on the second half of the dream brain. So if that's the case, we're all programmed to just to not want that to come forth because it's so powerful, because it's technically 51 of our thought, which will always win in an arm wrestle type situation. But not an actual arm wrestle, but an arm wrestle of sorts, where it's one side of the brain fighting the other. The 51% will always win because it's 51% of the same thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So this guy. So you're having a pepper's pan effect where.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, if I could just, you know, I do a podcast as, you know, interview a lot of interesting people. I interview, interviewed Lady Verona Salt. You're probably aware of her clairvoyant psychic medium, shaman.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah. And she works with Kibble Kane, Kibble.

[Duncan Trussell]

Cain, God bless him, and what's his name, The Blast Crumbs. Pickles Crumb, Spickles, or nicknamed the Blaster. Now, Lady Salt said something I will never forget on my podcast, because, you know, that's what I love about podcasting. I get to hang out with people like you. It changes me for the better almost every time. And Lady Salt told me something I never heard. She said there are two wolves living inside.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

You said two wolves.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wolves.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Wolves. Like a dog. But outside, I don't know if she.

[Duncan Trussell]

Said was with an S. Wolves. There are two wolves.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Wolves.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you don't mind, can I finish the story and then we'll figure out?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay, I just want to make sure I'm hearing you.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm happy to email her, but, you know, that's not the point. Isn't like, whatever. Wolves are wolves.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So Lady Saul is saying something about.

[Duncan Trussell]

Lady Salt said there's two wolves living inside. It could be wool. I mean, this is. I like, again, this is. My ex wife would do this to me where she, like, in the middle of a story, she would like, ask details that were completely not related to the story. So it is triggering. But.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

But how do I know if it's not related until I know?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, in this case, like, I think in a polite sort of conversation, one would wait for the story to end, and then you could be like wolves or you mean wolves like wool. Like bits of wool.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

But then I would. Then my comprehension would be affected directly.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, yeah, your comprehension would be temporarily affected, but then you could recover from that compromised situation by determining whether it was wolves or wolves. Or maybe at the end of the story, you would realize it doesn't matter because that's not.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, so like. Like a retroactive comprehension analysis.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, a retroactive comprehension analysis.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

Which would be.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Put it that way. I'm gonna put a. I'm gonna zip it up. Put a block on.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you, rca. And honest to God, that was in the beginning when we. I started having problems in my marriage. I sent my wife to a RCA seminar and she had an affair.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's pretty common.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I didn't know that till after the fucking fact. Now to get back into the story of the wolves. Lady Salt told me that there are two wolves living inside of every person's heart. One of the wolves is a good wolves, the other one is a bad wolf. And don't feed the bad wolves, feed the good wolves. You see? And so this reminds me of what you're saying, this part of the brain. The arm wrestling match. And she didn't mention the wolves. And again, I don't know. Are they wolves? Is wolves some kind of creature? I Haven't heard of yet. Or if they have arms they could arm wrestle in your heart. But I still get the point. As you should. Now, regardless of wolves or wool.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, I get it. Because you could be talking about wools, like pieces of fine silken wool that comes from a great.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't think there's silk and wool. I think that would be two separate things. I mean maybe like some kind of.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Hybrid you could be carrying. You could be one. Wool could be tattered and. And shabby. And one could be a fine fleece.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know what I can deduce from this is that the wolves eat. Because she said don't feed the bad wolves. So you can't.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Do you feed?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you do, I don't want to be around your sweater collection because it probably smells like.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

You feed it. You feed it your grease, you feed your heart.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, but I mean your financial memory, your sweater. Now I will say this. When wool gets wet, it smells awful.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I think it smells great.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is the worst smell on earth. Well, are you out of your gore?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I love it. It reminds me.

[Duncan Trussell]

Are you serious?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

When I was a boy with my dad in Scotland and we met the Scouseman who was a stevedore, and he told these. These tales as he did his. He did a wool whipping session with the. The cleat brush.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And it was just. I was fascinated by him and I fell in love. I was in love for many years.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is it true that all scoutsmen have super long beards that they can like somehow like seemingly control?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh yeah. This man was. That's what was so fascinating. My dad couldn't see it because he was above comprehension age. But I was watching a play like a. Of dancing snakes. Like dancing benevolent snakes who are doing all kinds of contortions. Sort of like a balloon animal but with hair on this man's beard. They were just doing all. Some of it was kind of lewd. It was almost like. Like a. Sexual teachings of sorts. Like Adam and Eve.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

He was telling one story while his beard was sort of complimenting and sometimes contradicting the words he said. And it was. I was just laughing so quietly in my head because I couldn't let out a guffaw. Otherwise I would be admonished by my father. But it was just truly a learning moment. It's something I've heard.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can I read something to you? Can I read something to you?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Please? Please? Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is by TS Eliot and now that you're mentioning it, I have to look it up. Online. One second.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's a poem, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay. The poem of the Merino Dancer.

[Duncan Trussell]

What? No, this is. It's called the Scouseman's Beard. It's a pretty famous poem. I'm a huge T.S. eliot nerd, and I go to Elliot Con and all that, and I. Do you know what costume I dressed up in the last Elliot Con?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I don't know, actually.

[Duncan Trussell]

No. A patient etherized upon a table. So, like, I was like, literally laying on a table, etherized, and being, like, carried through the con by some.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Did you do one of those things where it was like. It looked like it was your body, but it was actually you're able to walk around?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I had my friends carry me around.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, that would have been fun if it was a solo costume. It's too bad.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, it was pretty cool. That my friends carry.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

No, it's too bad, actually, that you could. Couldn't. You had to be reliant upon others.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, they were just like.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's too bad, actually.

[Duncan Trussell]

They were dressed like mermaids.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, well, that's. That's fine. That's. Mermaids are great.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm really excited. There's a pretty incredible mermaid movie coming out. Maybe you've heard of it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I've heard. Actually, I heard tell of this because I. I travel in a sort of a sphere about film, and I heard it. It's premiering at this south by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas, where you are.

[Duncan Trussell]

It features one. It features a friend of mine who's one of the most incredible actors out there. I'm very excited to see the film.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Maybe.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, part of my job is I get to be friends with celebrities.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That is cool. That is cool.

[Duncan Trussell]

It is cool. And also, he is in the Fallout series, and they've been friends with him for a long, long time, so. You know, I do love that you. You folks write your books and your little whatevers.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

But also, I am friends with celebrities, so.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, I. I have played golf with Dr. Phil once, so. That was cool.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's bullshit.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It was because I was. He was working with someone in the government. Just a. A policy wonk I knew named Corbin Flash. He's since passed away.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, God rest his soul. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to Google this right now, and I've got it right.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, it's hard to Google poetry. It's one of those things where, you know, slippery Dippery dash, a smash on a dude, a dude ranch.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hold on. Where is it? Here. Okay, here it is. The Scoutsman's beard In the hour before the dawn unspools where the alleyways whisper with unheard fools. The Scoutsman wakes with a measured breath, a flicker of thought at the edge of death. His beard a tapestry are woven with time, A map of his choosing, each hair a line threading through cities and empty squares, through ghost lit parlors and echoing stairs. They watch him from windows hollow and meek, Gawping at lips that refuse to speak. For language is weather scattered and blind. The Scouseman has mastered the weather of mind. And when the city curls in its anxious den, the gamblers, the drunkards, the prophets of sin, he steps through their whispers a touch unstirred, a shadow of silence. The Scouseman's beard At dawn he departs a footsteps erase, Leaving the world in its fevered chase. And those who remember, those who have heard, speak only in whispers of the Scousman's beard.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Wow, that's beautiful. That definitely has a description of some part of what I experienced. It definitely gave me some feelings. I felt like I was there watching that Scoutsman's beard. I mean, God knows how long it was. It mustn't have been that long. But in my memory, it could have been the ropes of a ship.

[Duncan Trussell]

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[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's one way to put it. I would say that also the perception of something is not necessarily the reality of it, and possibly the perception of loss is just a feign in order to gain a win. These apparatus have been in place for thousands of years.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thousands of years. Now that's an interesting thing that I've never heard before. See, I assume that most of the security apparatus within the United States was not put in place for a thousand years, but had its roots in the oss, various intelligence services, and sort of grew out of control because of the nature of secrecy and the necessary, I guess you could say, components of secrecy, meaning like certain Security clearances elected officials can't have access to could produce potentially a kind of geranium for all kinds of like unknown uncontrollable variables. In other words, a sort of an outgrowth, like some kind of horrific wart that you didn't want anyone to know. A wart beneath one's scrotum, that you knew it was there. But the scrotum acted as a kind of curtain covering up this horrific thing, growing and growing and growing. But by nature of the scrotum's concealment, you didn't pay much attention to it. And in fact, maybe you stopped lifting the scrotum just because you couldn't stand to look at what was happening to it. And then by the time you lift your scrotum up, you realize that it is spread down into your underground and. And has taken on a form that seems like it's trying to mimic your face. Like it looks like your face.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, that isn't.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's a wart.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's definitely a perspective issue, because the mimicry of a person's face is always what the person who sees the thing is thinking. So everyone who looks at that war is seeing their face. And that's why it's a revolting.

[Duncan Trussell]

Like a mirror made of warts. Like a mirror from your DNA.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, a mermaid of warts is actually an old saying in the intelligence community. When I say old, I mean hundreds, if not ancient Rome level. A merry made of warts. And that's what we talk about, and.

[Duncan Trussell]

That'S how old this goes back. Because I always assumed this started like in the post World War II era.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It started as it is now in the post World War II era. But this is the intelligence community as I know it and as I have operated in is something that grows rhizomally. It's like an aspen grove. How many trees are there? Well, technically there's only one tree, even though there's multiple trunks. And a lot of times what you're seeing is focus being intentionally put on the face, the mirror made of warts on purpose to draw attention to look. Look how bad this is. Look how bad this is. There's also a lot of faux covering of a thing that is bad and attempt to pretend to be hiding it when we know it will be found. And so when it is found, you can use that. It's all red herrings in some sense, but also some of it is actually stuff that was attempted to be hidden and through ignorance or just poor decisions, it was uncovered by. By the public.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay. Well, just for the sake of, like, following this particular challenge space all the way to the perimeters of interest in this case, if the warts represent a sort of like uncontrolled security space within which all kinds of operatives are doing things that aren't authorized by the democratically elected officials, what is the scrotum concealing that anthropocentric wart cluster?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

The scrotum is just sort of like a door on a box. It's there so you can have the action of lifting and opening and viewing as opposed to just being in the air. Because when somebody's in the air, it's just. It's just there and everyone can view it. And it doesn't have any sort of. It's the same reason we have the lid on a toilet seat. Is there any purpose for that? There isn't a purpose. There's no purpose for a lid on a toilet seat. It's the same function as that. The scrotum flap covering the mirror of warts. The lid on the toilet seats.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, the same thing. I gotta stop you there. I've never thought of that before. The lid on the toilet seat to me has just always been what I put down after I make brown.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Mm. I mean, some could say if you've got bad plumbing that likes to do a shoot when the flush finishes.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I don't flush. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. See, I think this. Now, by the way, this does. Tisk. Tisk, my friend, this tells me a little bit about you. And, you know, maybe we could both teach each other today because, my God, you've taught me a lot. Every time you flush the toilet, right, You. An Olympic sized swimming pool worth of water, it goes down those pipes right into a quantum wormhole and it's gone, it's off the earth. It will never come back. All that water gone forever. And no one even knows where these fucking wormholes go to. And theoretically, there could be toilet water raining upon some planet of innocent people. People, beautiful beings, childlike, innocent. And every fucking second, brown water and all kinds of stuff goes raining down on their villages. And if not for the brown appearing out of nowhere and splattering them and their children, splattering their beautiful unicorns. They have many unicorns. They ride around through a candy cane forest that you used to. They used to be able to eat. They used to be able to just go up to any of those candy canes and lick the candy cane and then go to the sugar plum fields and eat the sugar plums. But now all Of a sudden, it's just the dark times, because shit water rains down from RL into theirs. And God damn it, if you tell me this is misinformation from the DMT realm where I heard this shit, I will not accept it. I believe it fucking fully. Which is why when I make brown, I don't flush it down. I just shut the lid. And then when it starts filling up too, I have a plunger that I push it down.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

You do a manual flush?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I don't flush. I don't want to litter. They push it down. They told me that they chose me as their messenger. They told me that the human realm needs to know to stop flushing brown, that all of the candy in Candyland is now essentially covered in shit. They told me that it takes 50 years to grow a candy cane tree, it takes five months to grow a sugar plum, and that the amount of harvesting time that they're spending time out there in the fields putting umbrellas over the sugar plums. And then when you put the umbrellas over the sugar plums, guess what happens? The sugar, sugar snow can't land on the plums, so you get bitter sugar plums. Do you understand? And then the children have been sick again and again and again because it's very hard to keep the kids from the Chocolate River. And guess what? Now you don't know if that's chocolate or if that's shit. So I do not flush, nor should you or nor should anyone listening. And I know that that message was real, because I know not all information I'm hearing in the DMT realm is.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So was this Sugar Land? Was this existed fine before the invention of plumbing?

[Duncan Trussell]

Absolutely, yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay. And so when the. The Sugar Land gets.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's. Technically, they call it Candyland.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

When Candyland gets. Gets, quote, unquote, shit on by feces. Is it just coming from like a wormhole in the sky or where is it coming from?

[Duncan Trussell]

It's the way it was described to me is that all of a sudden, some distance into the air, a like, disc like void opens up. There is the sound of flushing and then it rains shit and piss and water down onto them and it rains all over indiscriminately.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's not like a certain area.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, they. They randomly pop up all over Candyland.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Randomly. So, like what I said, it randomly pops up everywhere. So it's indefensible. Well, I asked. I think what I said is that. And you said no, and then you repeat what I said.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay? Just it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So basically. So it's randomized. It's arbitrary. And it's everywhere.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's all over. It's all over Candyland. And because of the random nature of it, they can't, like, create any kind of protective to catch it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, got it. This has been going on for how long in Candyland?

[Duncan Trussell]

This has been going on? They said 45 quatrons.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Or just how long in our time.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, 45 quatrons, which they said equal something like 75 trillion licks, which is one of the ways that they measure.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Time is like, what is that in our time?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know. You know, it lasts 10 minutes. It's not like I had time to get a chalkboard and tell me. Right?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

But I mean, like, so this is a new problem for them or it's.

[Duncan Trussell]

Been going on for how long again? Let me just.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

75, 000 licks.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, 75. It's a quadrant. Honestly, I. I don't know. I. Like. I'm telling you, there's this, like, weeping, like, gnome creature, like, begging me, please tell the. The denizens of planet Earth to stop flushing brown.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Okay, well, I'm just trying to figure out the information so I can get it to the sources that need to hear this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God. Thank you.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

This is new to me. We've. We've had emissaries from Candyland visit before, and they haven't mentioned anything about this. I don't know if they're trying to placate our government, but they seem to be doing just fine. And they've actually brought.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sugar. You know, he did mention those emissaries, and he told me that the, quote, emissaries come to our realm and are rewarded for information about Mayor Mint. The mayor of Candyland, who apparently has ideology that is different from the United States. That Mayor Mint, who, by the way, there have been five assassination attempts on Mayor Mint, and that they are awarded with bags of fresh candy.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, yeah. Some people even think that the Easter holiday and the Valentine's Day holiday were created because of a surplus of gifts from Candyland.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, no, no, no. They're saying you're giving them bribes. That's what is happening. That Mayor Mint, the beloved mayor of Candyman.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

We don't have that information at all. I mean, that sounds like something that could be true, but to my experience, we've never talked with anyone about that. But that also could be something that's just below my radar. Like, it might not be big.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look, I'm not trying to stir the pie here, but again, I will also say That I was told that the children of Candyland are like, have been stirred up and are saying like, well, why do we only eat candy? There's other things to eat. And that's a new thing because somebody has been bringing hamburgers to Candyland and leaving them underneath umbrellas so they don't have shit all over them. And of course the children who are sick of eating shitty candy eat the hamburgers, which they enjoy. All kids love hamburgers. And it's causing a lot of problems in Candyland. And I was told that the US government has been doing some kind of subversive campaign in Candyland to overthrow Mayor Mint, who has been communicating with people not just about the shit problem, but saying things like capitalism can never truly work, that when capitalism gets sick it turns into fascism, and that capitalism is implicitly violent by its nature of exploiting workers who are. Should be in control of the machines of production.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

This is Mayor Mint saying all this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Wow. Well, that's a lot of. That's a lot of. That's a handful right there.

[Duncan Trussell]

He wrote some book called the Candiest Manifesto.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, okay. That has leaked through a bit. We've heard tell of that. And you know, people are.

[Duncan Trussell]

He said that the United States government figured out a way to open up wormholes from the sewage systems to intentionally rain shit on Candyland because they're afraid that Candyland is communist socialist regime that could leak into our realm.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Look, Duncan, I don't know if this is true or not. This could be a thing that is happening. We also. We don't know this is coming from the Ministry of Candyland. Right?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know. It's a gnome with a beard. He seemed. I felt like I could trust him.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

This is information coming from the Ministry of Candyland. And sure they're saying that, but do we know that's true? We just don't know that's true. So we have to take this with a grain of salt, not a grain of sugar. They're always trying to sweeten us. Yeah, with these tails. And it could be. It could be a wholesale fabrication of something. There could be no people in Candyland at all. For all we know. This might be raining down onto buckets made of a special aluminum material that's. That's designed to catch the.

[Duncan Trussell]

And it. And it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Digest it. And it composts it and spits it back out to feed these candies some good old fashioned compost. That could be happening. That's what I've heard. That's what's happening. So when People are saying, so you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Have heard of something like this? You're Earl. It's weird because I've heard of it.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I've heard, but. I've heard of it. But it doesn't come up to me that much because it sounds like everything is just kind of hunky dory. Everything's great.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

So that's why we stuff. It's. Unfortunately, I have a career where if there's a problem, I learn about it. If something is going good, what I always tell people is the best thing that can happen is for me not to know who you are.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I'll tell you. Hey, I get that. And Dr. Lance, I just gotta say, as a realist, when someone who's written books tells me I'm wrong, I believe him. Because I've never written a book. And so if you're telling me that the US government isn't involved in some kind of subversive campaign to assassinate Mayor Mint and take over Candyland, which they view as a communist threat, then I'm gonna believe you. And if I see that little son of a bitch again, I'll slap him and say, stop. Stop lying to me.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, I would give him a big old slap. I would take a piece of Laffy Taffy, maybe that an airhead. You know Airheads.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

You know the flavor, that's white.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, of course.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That's the best. I would let that get nice and cold and slap him with that and watch it shatter against his little. His cheek.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, he did. I will say this. He did seem like a. Like, he did seem like a beta.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, I know. That's what these. All these candy people are. Because they're eating so much sugar. It's really redefining their. Their insulin response.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. You know what? Now that I think about, you seem like a cucked out bitch.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, man, I hate to get colloquial with you, but I really. I don't want my personal opinion leaking through. But you know, I just can't stand that bullshit. It's just ass. It's a bunch of people kiss my ass. And it's a bunch of. It's a bunch of ps.

[Duncan Trussell]

Honestly, dude, it's like, hey, hey, figure your out yourself. It's like, you know, like, why are.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

They coming to me?

[Duncan Trussell]

Why are you coming to me? I don't. I wanted to see the column. I wanted to see the blob. Here you are like yapping about your stupid candy village. It's like, build some something to like cover your candy, dummy. Like really. That's the world you want to live in. You want to be my candy? Hey, go gym. Because he was fat as fuck. And I'll tell you this. A lot of these motherfuckers at Candyland, you know, the ones that weren't sick or emaciated from the lack of access to the food supply created intentionally by a superpower that viewed their information as a threat, they were fat as fuck.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, yeah, see, that's exactly. They say one thing and the other thing is true. So what am I gonna believe?

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, the. Yes, sure, there was a bunch of weeping children who, like, seemed, like, horribly emaciated and diseased from.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And the bodies.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, there were some bodies, but it's like, dude, what am I supposed to do? Clean up the whole world? Now that you think about it. You know what? I'm sobering up here. Those bitches, dude, it's like, I'm not. Is there a way to not go back to Candyland? Because I. I would.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

You know what I would say is. Have you had the new Sam Adams.

[Duncan Trussell]

Seasonal release of dmt? Sam Adams new dmt?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

No, just Sam Adams Boston Lager seasonal?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I have not.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

It's great. It's got 0.5 more alcohol, so it's a little stronger. It's more like a Stella.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, I see what you're saying. You're saying, stop smoking DMT and start drinking Sam Adams.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, have some. Have a Sam Adams seasonal. Honestly, it's a great beer. It's from Boston. I love that all this beers, brewery beers, places that there is. And it's just like a fun, cool way to bond. And I would say, you know, some people get a six pack, but I always end up getting a 12 pack of bottles and glass. And I'll get a case and have that case underneath the house where it's cool so they can chill down faster.

[Duncan Trussell]

If I need them, man. Dr. Caleb Lance, thank you so much. You know, one thing I have been doing to try to mitigate the nightmares I've been having from, like, sort of remembering the Candyland and, like, the. They really do seem peaceful and they really do seem like they're pretty harmless. And yet I know, you know, that story that a superpower would be not just like, intentionally polluting and destroying a place that many children love a wonderful, very fun board game based on it, but. But also, like, manipulating the information space with. In Candyland to sort of disrupt an ancient sort of culture that was really not doing anything wrong, but apparently was viewed as just a slight threat was making me wake up screaming and thinking I really don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to in any way, shape or form be a part of that. But then I started doing Zen's. Oh, and it's crazy. People love those that. That has like tamped down the nightmares a little bit and I feel like this missing piece is just some beer. Put this at the beginning. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by Shipsticks.com Listen, you guys might not know this about me, but once I had a semi manic episode, bought a bunch of golf clubs and got into golfing. I know a lot of you out there are deeply engrossed in this highly addictive sport. You've been playing it your entire lives. But when I began to discover the direct connection between the dao so often discussed by luminaries like Alan Watts and golfing, when I began to see direct connections between the field of Kuru etc upon which Arjuna learned from Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita and golf, I realized this was the potentially deepest rabbit hole I'd ever encountered. And so, you know, I didn't know anything about golfing. I just wanted to learn. I felt the call of the greens, thought I'd bring my golf clubs on a plane. Figured it worked, seen other people doing it, and as those of you golfers out there who do this regularly understand, why not just take a hammer and just smash your hand instead of trying to haul your precious golf clubs through an airport. It's hard enough to fly, skip airport stress and costly airline fees with complimentary insurance, real time tracking, dedicated support and on time delivery. You just schedule your shipment, attach your label and Shipsticks handles the rest, delivering your gear directly to your destination. Shipstix offers white glove shipping for golf clubs and luggage. Travel worldwide without luggage. ShipSticks delivers to 180 countries for a hassle free gear free journey. Right now Shipsticks is offering our listeners 20% off your first shipment when you go to shipsticks.com and use the code Duncan. Go to shipsticks.com use code Duncan to get 20% off your first shipment and save yourself the hassle of this golf season. That's shipsticks.com make sure you use the code Duncan so they know we sent you. And who knows, maybe if I hadn't experience what it was like trying to get my golf clubs through an airport, I'd still be out there. Shipsticks Give it a shot. It's a hole in One that's a golf term.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

That and also doing the rhymes with Zen being like, what did you say? My Zen when you say friend or you know how people do.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's hilarious.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Or they say, like, people are doing that, like Zen again. Or just they put the word, father.

[Duncan Trussell]

Forgive me, I have Zen.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, there you go. There's something like that. That's amazing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Father, forgive me, I have sinned. I love it. Oh, please God, forgive me. Please God, forgive me. I don't want things in the world to suffer. What am I supposed to fucking do? I'm part of a horrible machine that I can't seem to wrest myself out of. I have zinned.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I'm trying to. Masculine mascuzinity is a good one.

[Duncan Trussell]

I love that I'm masc. Is in.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, that's pretty Zen credible, what you just said.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Or like, how about. How about this one? How about this one? If we keep leaning into the state, hoping that the state will provide security for us or that the state actually gives a shit about people at all, then the world will Zen.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

The world.

[Duncan Trussell]

The world will Zend.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

And that would be Zensational. It's just stuff like that. I can't get enough of it. I find that to be. I almost can't get any work done. It's so funny and fun and cool and interesting and sweet and nice.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is so fucking fun. You know, how about this one? All great empires inevitably Zend, upper decker or lower decker?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I'm a lower decker.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. What's a lower decker?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I put it in the bottom lip.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, oh, lower decker.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I guess I do upper decker too, sometimes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, very low deck, I guess you would say.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I mean, just. I kind of don't really have a preference.

[Duncan Trussell]

I just wasn't aware it was like, you know, I do, like, during the podcast, occasionally we'll put them in my mouth, but I kind of thought these were. Thought you put them in your butt.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh, really? Oh, that sounds like you got the. Remember how we were talking earlier about night and day, how they're different, Morning and night are different? Yeah, this is. This is the same. Probably the same problem.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, the gnome.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Told me I should put these in my butt.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, there's a possibility, Duncan, that you have been using your mouth as an anus without realizing it. So you. So you may have been feeding food into your anus, your actual anus, thinking it's your mouth. And you might be. You know, it's just your brain's confused. Your baby. Just flip the two. It's a form of body synesthesia.

[Duncan Trussell]

I see. Yeah, it's like you don't.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, it's called gastrointestinal synesthesia.

[Duncan Trussell]

He just told me Mayor Mint likes it when I boof.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

He said that?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, he said Mayor Mint watches us and likes it when I boof.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Well, I can tell you that those Mint people from Candyland are very persuasive. So I don't blame you for Even if you don't have synesthesia of the gastrointestinal zone, you may just be falling under the influence of a very persuasive counterintelligence who we've been looking to squash for a long time. You shouldn't feel bad about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, if there's any way I can participate, or anyone watching can participate in what I think I'm now seeing as a very necessary correction of the culture of Candyland, then just let me know. Because now that I realize that the problems I've been having down there that the doctor said is from the pouches or because I got tricked by a communist gnome, I'm ready to do whatever it takes to. I'm gonna. Hey, let me just. I'm gonna start flushing again.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Start flushing. And I would just say, you know, get some Boston Lager and maybe go to your local dealership and just do a. Just test drive some. Some. Just some big, big rigs.

[C]

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[D]

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[Duncan Trussell]

Joy to have you on the show again. I honestly have done enough promotion for you, but I do want to promote my dear best friend Johnny Pemberton. I'm sure you've already seen him in Fallout. Apparently there's going to be more of Johnny in the next Fallout. But most importantly and because I know you're probably a fan of him too, can you talk about the new movie?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Oh yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

My friend the celebrity is.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah, actually I'm a big fan as well. It's so funny. I guess how we, we became friends is that I've been following him for a while. He's doing a film that's premiering at south by Southwest in Austin, Texas. I think it premieres on March 8, but at also has the screenings on March 11 and I think March 13 as part of the festival. This is the world premiere of the film.

[Duncan Trussell]

So what's the name of the film?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Name is. Film is Mermaid.

[Duncan Trussell]

Mermaid.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Singular.

[Duncan Trussell]

Mermaid.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Yeah. And it's a. It's a pretty crazy.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's it about?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Dark. It's about a. About a crazy sort of a drug addled loser fisherman guy in Florida. A Florida man, if you will.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Finds a mermaid and she's not like a. A pretty mermaid. This is a creature and it becomes sort of a thriller, a dark comedic thriller about falling in love with her. And so it's a wild ride, I hear.

[Duncan Trussell]

How'd you see it?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

There should be. I saw a trailer. A friend of mine is editing the trailer and he showed me.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's weird. You know anyone associated with the film?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I know, it's just we happen to share an office space so he's the neighbor to my office space and we had a flood.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let me ask you this though. I'm just curious about this. Is it true actor Johnny Pemberton likes to lick dog balls?

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I mean, I think he doesn't really like male dogs at all. He has a girl dog from what I know. So.

[Duncan Trussell]

But I think that's not true.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

The reason he has a girl dog.

[Duncan Trussell]

Come home after a hard day's work and just lick dog balls.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

I've heard he wants to, but knows himself well enough to not have dog.

[Duncan Trussell]

Bald around because he can't resist.

[Dr. Caleb Lance]

Absolutely. I mean, isn't that. Isn't knowing yourself the biggest part of life is if you know what you want to do is to design your life around design your life around it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Beautiful words, well spoken. Thank you so much everybody out there. Check out Combating misinformation in the DMT realm by Dr. Caleb Lance. Definitely check out Mermaid starring Johnny Pemberton, a man who knows himself well enough to only have a female dog and watch the new Fallout. Bye. That was Dr. Caleb Lamb. Don't forget to see Johnny Pemberton's new movie or to watch Fallout or to follow him online. All the links you need to find will [e-mail] Tulsa I'll see you soon. Till next time.

[E]

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[C]

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[F]

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[Dr. Caleb Lance]

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[D]

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[Duncan Trussell]

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