Transcript
Duncan Trussell (0:00)
I don't even know if you're here yet or if this is even working. This is a first run of a new technology. It's called streaming. Like a stream. Think of a river. Except the river is data, images, audio. Instead of the river having in it squirrel excrement, it has information. This is the world Wide Web and what you're witnessing is called streaming. My name is Duncan Trussell. You are on the World Wide Web. Perhaps you're thinking, I'm an audio only listener and thus I'm not sure if this is still a stream. It is still a stream. The name that I've given this is streaming. Whether it's audio video or the combination of audio video, which I call av. You are watching an AV or listening to an A stream. I'm here at the studio and my God, this is blowing my mind. Next level technology should sure to revolutionize the media landscape. Once this gets in the hands of all the people who no doubt are excited about the possibility of sharing their lives with the world, we are going to see such incredible content. Unprecedented, beautiful, transformative, life changing. Inspirational. All the good things will come from this technology. No one will ever use this technology for anything other than good. And I am so excited to be at the forefront of this incredible revolution which I am calling the digital revolution. This revolution is going to upend a lot of what I'm calling legacy media models. Because of this technology, all of us will be able to say anything we're thinking, to tell the world, anything that we believe. This is huge for all humanity. There's so many people in the world who long to share their hearts, who have some information they want to give us, who have some very important advice about life that normally you would have to meet them at a party, a mixer, a bar mitzvah, wherever to get that information. Now you can just press a button and there they are on your screen. No doubt one day this will be in phones, meaning that while you're on the go, maybe having a quick lunch, you could open up this streaming technology and you can watch someone you've never met paid potentially in another state, maybe even another country. And they can give you important advice about ways that you can improve your marriage, do better at your job, get better sleep, enjoy better food, how to cook, how to clean, how to wash your baby, how to comb your baby's hair, how to braid your baby's hair, how to braid your wife's hair, which is a erotic activity that we all do at night. What husband hasn't gone home after A hard day's work and braided their wives hair. This is the world we live in and it's going to be really hard for some of you to adapt. I know all of us feel a little nervous about this new technology. Up until this point we've had the trusted legacy media telling us what's happening in the world and giving us all the advice we need. And this is curated information, curated by trustworthy people, non biased, not shaped in any way by massive corporations with a vested interest in making sure the population does a dance of doom that ensures their ability to sell cars and medicine. No, it would be a cynics game to say some bullshit like that. The legacy media, I do feel bad for them and I must thank them now. Thank you legacy media. For so many years, so many formative years in my life, you warned me about very important things to be worried about. Thanks to you I knew that drugs were bad and lived a very sober life. Thanks to you I understood that the war is unsavory. Sometimes there's no choice. And thanks to you I learned that though politicians make mistakes from time to time, they're completely trustworthy and we should all trust our politicians. It's a hard job. And thanks to the founding fathers, we have this great group of people at the helm of the ship called the United States. And it's a thankless job. And they're out there every single day working for the people, fighting for the people. A lot of people complain and I gotta say this, it really, really gets my goat, this bullshit where people attack politicians like Nancy Pelosi for engaging in the very American activity of trading stock. It's infuriating to me. So I guess the person who every single day puts her ass on the line every single day, fights for the rights of every Californian, should not be a multimillionaire because of brilliant decisions she made in the stock market. You skeptical anti American cynics. How you make me sick. To imagine that a politician would use information that they had regarding companies that were about to default or companies that were about to get big government contracts and then buy or sell shares in that company to make a profit. Makes me want to take a brown recluse, a pregnant brown recluse, and just boof it. Just to have someone blow it into my. Into my wide open nether regions, hard and fast. And it makes me want to feel it crawl up into the most private and sensitive part of a man and lay eggs. That's how upsetting it is to me. I cried all night When I saw on the platform X these accusations and made me weep not just for Nancy, but for. For all of us. Because if you're at sea and you don't trust the captains, the first mates, the lieutenants, lieutenants, the commander, the cabin boys scrubbing the decks, their muscular back straining as they soak down the deck, then that means that you're lost at sea. And to think that some of you are living in a world like that where you wake up in the morning and think, I'm pretty sure these pigs are actually just getting rich while they can. And then inevitably, when they know they get found out, they're just going to get a job as a consultant at one of the many corporations that they illegally helped and get paid millions of dollars to give five minute speeches in front of one person as payback for whatever hole the politician dug them out of. And really, they're not going to lose a second of sleep because they see all of us as just some kind of idiot, naive dummy at a circus fair, getting conned over and over again by the dude tricking them and throwing rings on the bottles in exchange for animals stuffed by Chinese slave laborers. Let's brighten up our spirits, friends. Let's really reframe things and understand that because we do live in the best country on earth, there are so many people out there who want you to think just that. The Russians. The Russians, the Chinese, the Nicaraguans, the. Who else does this. These misinformation campaigns? Josh. Josh, who else does these misinformation campaigns?
