696: Kurt Metzger

Summary

Duncan Trussell Family Hour Podcast Summary Episode 696: Kurt Metzger Release Date: June 27, 2025

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Introduction and Apology

[00:00 – 01:19]
Duncan Trussell opens the episode by addressing his audience's feedback regarding his lack of discussion on current global issues, particularly in the Middle East. He apologizes sincerely and emphasizes the responsibility that comes with his platform as a comedian. To provide insightful perspectives, he welcomes Kurt Metzger as his guest to shed light on understanding the Middle East while bringing joy and peace to the conversation.

“I have not been seriously addressing what is currently going on in the world, particularly the Middle East. And for that, first of all, I would like to sincerely apologize.”
— Duncan Trussell [00:00]

Personal Anecdotes and Humor

[02:12 – 07:00]
Duncan and Kurt engage in light-hearted banter, sharing humorous stories about everyday experiences. They discuss the peculiarities of Uber drivers, including inappropriate behavior like playing explicit content during rides and soliciting donations for dubious charities.

“Have you ever in your life had the driver just tell you that he's also taking donations for a charity called Human Trafficking?”
— Kurt Metzger [04:26]

Their humor continues as they delve into the challenges of personal grooming, specifically Kurt's struggle with maintaining his mustache, and Duncan jokes about the absurdity of certain modern-day scenarios.

Exploration of Gnosticism and Sophia

[09:20 – 22:00]
The conversation shifts to a deep dive into Gnosticism, focusing on the figure of Sophia. Kurt Metzger explains the Gnostic narrative, detailing Sophia's attempt to create without divine assistance, leading to the emergence of the Demiurge—a flawed creator figure representing the material world’s imperfections.

“In most versions of the Gnostic mythos, it is Sophia who brings about this instability in the pleroma. There's an instability in the pleroma, in turn, bringing about the creation of materiality.”
— Duncan Trussell [22:00]

They discuss the symbolism of Baphomet and its connection to Sophia, unpacking the esoteric meanings behind these figures and their relevance in modern occult interpretations.

Little Sophia Robot and Jeffrey Epstein

[08:01 – 13:03]
Kurt introduces the topic of Little Sophia, a robot project allegedly funded by Jeffrey Epstein. They discuss the eerie connections between Epstein and advancements in artificial intelligence, raising concerns about the ethical implications and hidden agendas behind such technologies.

“Jeffrey Epstein was connected to Little Sophia. So this robot... they took a trip to Africa together to map children's brains to try to make a really good AI.”
— Kurt Metzger [13:03]

Symbolism and Conspiracies

[14:08 – 21:59]
The hosts delve deeper into symbolic representations within occult traditions, exploring how figures like Abraxas encapsulate dualities and hidden wisdom. They critique contemporary misinterpretations and misuse of these symbols in popular culture, emphasizing the distortion of their original meanings.

“Baphomet is a cipher. When you rearrange it, it spells Sophia, which means wisdom.”
— Kurt Metzger [14:27]

The Gate Program: Gifted and Talented Education

[23:00 – 47:20]
Kurt and Duncan discuss the Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program, speculating on its potential ties to covert operations and intelligence agencies. They share personal anecdotes about their experiences in such programs, questioning the true intent behind specialized education tracks.

“Adults who enrolled in the gifted and talented education program decades ago are now questioning if they were unknowingly being...”
— Duncan Trussell [42:57]

The conversation touches on conspiracy theories surrounding GATE, including alleged CIA involvement and brain mapping initiatives aimed at enhancing cognitive abilities for hidden agendas.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, Candace Owens, and Occult Symbolism in Pop Culture

[49:00 – 58:00]
The discussion shifts to contemporary political figures like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Candace Owens, analyzing their rhetoric and public personas through the lens of occult symbolism. They critique the use of religious and mystical motifs, such as the crown of thorns, and interpret these as attempts to manipulate public perception and reinforce hidden power structures.

“They always make you put on a crown of thorns and do a stupid Jesus thing. It's hacky as shit.”
— Kurt Metzger [55:19]

23andMe Genetic Data Concerns

[28:00 – 36:03]
Duncan raises alarming concerns about 23andMe selling genetic data collected from users. Kurt shares anecdotes highlighting the unethical practices of data misuse, emphasizing the potential dangers of personal DNA information being exploited by unknown entities for malicious purposes.

“All these people who sent their swabs to 23andMe are now getting all of their DNA connected to their name, connected to like, who they are sold to some unknown company.”
— Duncan Trussell [28:23]

Hefner's Pig Night Stories

[25:00 – 32:05]
The hosts recount scandalous tales from Hugh Hefner's Pig Night, where prostitutes were brought to the mansion for lavish parties. They describe the surreal and morally questionable behaviors observed during these events, critiquing the blurred lines between philanthropy and exploitation.

“Sometimes the women had penises, and Hefner didn't want to be involved with that. Although some of the other guests... particularly John Belushi, they didn't mind.”
— Kurt Metzger [31:15]

Conspiracy Theories: The Matrix, CIA, MK Ultra, and More

[35:06 – 64:04]
Kurt and Duncan explore a myriad of conspiracy theories, including the concept that humanity exists within a simulated reality akin to The Matrix, with underlying influences from the CIA and secretive programs like MK Ultra and MK Monarch. They discuss allegations of elite manipulation through technology and media, questioning the authenticity of public figures' actions and intentions.

“Most of the most famous physicists and all them are the most degenerate pervert you ever heard of.”
— Kurt Metzger [11:39]

They also touch upon historical figures and events, such as Charlie Wilson's War, and analyze how popular media often sanitizes or distorts the truth surrounding these clandestine operations.

“He proved he was a real American... They didn't put that in the movie.”
— Kurt Metzger [61:20]

Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

[70:04 – 70:54]
As the episode nears its end, Duncan thanks Kurt for his participation, highlighting the blend of humor and deep conspiracy analysis that characterizes their discussions. Kurt expresses appreciation for being invited back, and both hosts share final humorous exchanges before the episode concludes.

“You are so funny, Duncan. Thank you.”
— Kurt Metzger [70:53]

“When you're at the green room, I just pull out my notebook. So I have to research later.”
— Duncan Trussell [63:57]

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Notable Quotes

• Duncan Trussell [12:14]:
  “This is an episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by GALA Glass Books Shop...”
  (Ad Section Skipped)

• Kurt Metzger [55:19]:
  “They always make you put on a crown of thorns and do a stupid Jesus thing. It's hacky as shit.”

• Duncan Trussell [28:23]:
  “All these people who sent their swabs to 23andMe are now getting all of their DNA connected to their name, connected to like, who they are sold to some unknown company.”

Key Takeaways

• Responsibility of Platform: Duncan acknowledges the importance of addressing serious global issues beyond his comedic role.

• Gnostic Philosophy: An in-depth exploration of Sophia and the demiurge provides a foundation for understanding the metaphysical discussions.

• Ethical Concerns in Technology: The misuse of genetic data by companies like 23andMe raises significant privacy and ethical questions.

• Conspiracy Theories: The conversation weaves through various theories, challenging mainstream narratives and highlighting potential hidden influences in politics and technology.

• Pop Culture and Symbolism: Analysis of religious and occult symbols in modern media underscores the pervasive influence of hidden agendas.

Conclusion

Episode 696 of the Duncan Trussell Family Hour, featuring Kurt Metzger, offers a compelling mix of humor, deep philosophical discussions, and provocative conspiracy theories. Through rich dialogue and insightful commentary, the episode encourages listeners to question established narratives and explore the intricate connections between technology, power, and spirituality.

Transcript

[Duncan Trussell]

If you're listening to this on Friday, come see me at the Tempe Improv. I'm going to be there all weekend with my dearest Hasan Ahmad. And also, I'm headed to Australia. You can find all my [e-mail] Greetings. Welcome to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour Podcast. After perusing some comments on some of my YouTube videos, I realized that many of you are correct. I have not been seriously addressing what is currently going on in the world, particularly the Middle East. And for that, first of all, I would like to sincerely apologize. Sometimes I get caught up in my role as a comedian and forget that having a platform is a true responsibility. And so, after spending some time thinking about this and having some very serious conversations with my wife, my kids, I realized that I needed to have someone on the show who will help us not just understand the situation in the Middle east, but who will also shine a light of joy and peace and remind us of what's most important. Everybody, welcome back to the dtfh. Kurt Matzger.

[Kurt Metzger]

Thank you, Duncan. Thank you for having me. I was a little upset that people thought we were in some kind of fight last time.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, I didn't understand that at all.

[Kurt Metzger]

Because your Catholicism and I. I'm not Catholic. Yeah. We're friends. So I just wanted. But I would like to welcome everyone to this important discussion with a quick interfaith prayer, if you could.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you so much. Yeah. Sorry. Fold, Christian Lord, guide my hand against a Roman potpourri.

[Kurt Metzger]

Amen. This is. This is a podcast for Americans.

[Duncan Trussell]

Amen. Thank you so much. Your mustache. I mean, it happens. It's when you wax.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm saying wearing a mustache over my other mustache wasn't gonna.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's normal. That's how they used to do it back then. What do you think if, like, you had to pick right now in the world, what should we all be paying attention to?

[Kurt Metzger]

Listen, I would say, go where you are.

[Duncan Trussell]

Take that.

[Kurt Metzger]

You can't wear this on a mustache. I don't wanna shave, though. Do you ever shave after you haven't shaved in a while? It's really terrifying. I wasn't ready to just look at my own face again. Dude, I. I'll tell you, my girl ain't ready for that neither. I promise you that. One time, dude, I took a liftoff. I had shaved my beard. You know, I had a beard for, like, a while, and I remember I cut it too low or something.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So I walk in. There's a mirror in my old place where you Walk in. I thought the Uber guy followed me into my house.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, God, dude, that is terrifying. I'm surprised that doesn't happen more because, like, I'm just surprised there aren't more Uber murders, that there aren't more.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's a lot of out of line stuff. And good luck reporting it to Uber because I've had stuff where I was getting somebody a car. You know, like if I was. We're shooting something or something. I had like a kind of female that I friend in New York that would get them the car to the thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh my God. This one guy, he played porn. My friend Brooke was coming.

[Duncan Trussell]

Jesus Christ.

[Kurt Metzger]

The podcast. And driver has his phone up and he's playing porn and ask her if she's got a man. She's like, yeah. He goes, I don't think you do, dude. I go, holy. So I actually got someone. This is a while ago. Because you could get a human at Uber.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And they were like, oh, well, no charge for the ride.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

So now me and my girl go on a mothership not long ago. And the guy goes. So I like to tell everybody, I tell everyone why I'm driving a Lyft.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And I remember somebody, I'm like. And we were like running later.

[Duncan Trussell]

Like, he's doing a speech.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. And I was like, why would you ever do that? Why does it. Why would you think I would give a shit? What. You probably need money. It's a fucking rough economy or something. What do you mean? Well, I. This is for a charity called. Was it Students Against Human Trafficking?

[Duncan Trussell]

Jesus fucking Christ. That's creepy.

[Kurt Metzger]

Have you ever in your life had the driver just tell you that he's also taking donations for a charity called a Human Trafficking? So I go, I'd love to help you. So I was going to be like, just polite. Unless, like, it'll be over soon. I'll get out. But like once you tell me that, dude, like, I'm going to burp up something at you. But I was like, I'd love to help you, but you see, I'm with a group called Students for Human Trafficking.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, fuck.

[Kurt Metzger]

And. And then he said something crazy like, well, just leave with your girlfriend then. Remember he said some weird as this. He was trying to be funny because I don't think. I think what normally happens is he must say this other people. I couldn't have been his first test case.

[Duncan Trussell]

No one ever pushes back against a charity. Like, so he was shocked. Like he didn't know what to make of it. Like, that's never happened him before. No one, and especially no one's ever been like, I actually am a human trafficker.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, okay, so I push back in a charity, like at the store when they're like, do you want to give it up? No, I can't hit. No, dude, I was in the airport, they go, you want to give you this. When they first had. Check yourself out at the airport. Yeah, you know, like, like burhead. Think about, you should be able to steal like, you know, you have to work at the store now when you go. So yeah, so in Chicago, I didn't know they had implemented this amazing idea. And I'm so, I'm standing in line like an asshole because there's no waiting for a casual. I'm like, oh God, I hit. The thing is like, would you like to give you change to Ukraine? Are you shitting me?

[Duncan Trussell]

That's so wild.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm like hitting no, like this.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is so crazy. Well, and also that doesn't really. It doesn't all go to Ukraine. Like, even if it like whatever amount of. When you start doing charity math and you realize that the money you give to a charity, most of it goes to the administration, the charity, very little goes to the thing itself.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, let's say 100% went to Ukraine. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, they didn't get enough of your money.

[Duncan Trussell]

I also saw one of those where it gave an option to leave a tip. It was a self checkout and so you could leave a tip for like who?

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, no one believes me when I tell them. But that's a thing where you tip the robot.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

What? Yeah, you know why? Because how much you want to bet it's not? There's like Indians in a call center.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's that just happened.

[Kurt Metzger]

And you're tipping them.

[Duncan Trussell]

That just happened.

[Kurt Metzger]

It happens a lot. Is AI real or is it just. I was telling you, I think Matrix 4 should be. He finds out that the Matrix is within another Matrix and it's just a bunch of Indians in a call center in Hyderabad. And then he meets them and they're like, please to be plugging me in. There's no air conditioning, sire.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, man, I think the Matrix is really dumb.

[Kurt Metzger]

I never people thought it was so. Prof. It makes you think and it makes me think. Why do you think that's so amazing?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, the Matrix is one of the most. This is not a hot take and will not be received well. But the Matrix, like, yeah, you see the first time you're high, whatever. It's Cool. But then you realize this is the stupidest I've ever seen in my life. I mean, it is Gnosticism, you know, that's why people respond.

[Kurt Metzger]

So do you know. Okay, I'm glad you brought nauseam, because I was going to forget to bring this up, but do you know. Did you find little Sophia? Commercial for the robot for girls. So do you remember Sophia? The talking AI? So that guy Gertzel something. Gert. Gertzel. And he's like, he's got like a hair lip. He's been on Rogan. Also, fun fact about him, he used to go to Africa with Epstein to map the children's brains.

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Kurt Metzger]

Sophia. So remember Sophia? No, the world talking robot lady.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't remember Sophia at all. Oh, this? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember her.

[Kurt Metzger]

So this was a toy for girls. Wait, yeah, turn it up. And the commercial is amazing.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I'm. I thought you were talking about the. The weird fucking Android.

[Kurt Metzger]

Everybody made one for girls. This Epstein was. Wait, where's the sound? Oh, it's gotta be on the headphones.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, shit. Yeah, you gotta put the headphones on.

[Hasan Ahmad]

I might look here.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, listen to this commercial.

[Hasan Ahmad]

Actually a robot. I am an innovative robot who uses sophisticated AI to communicate with humans. And as I interact with more and more people, I am constantly getting smarter. I have become a champion of innovation.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, that's not the right one. Little Sophia.

[Duncan Trussell]

Little Sophia.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, you know what?

[Duncan Trussell]

Then that might be the lead up to little Sophia.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's the lead up. So there's a little.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you get this now? I want one of these.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think they're little. No, that's not it. It's. You know what?

[Duncan Trussell]

That is it.

[Kurt Metzger]

Fast forward old Sophia's intro. So it's this one here six years ago. Little Sophia. Boy, that's back when Epstein was alive. Seems like so not that long.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know, the good old days.

[Kurt Metzger]

Skip this creepy little Sophia.

[Duncan Trussell]

I've had a stroke.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, there we go.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck? How did I get for your daughter?

[Kurt Metzger]

You have a little girl.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh God, she would love a little Sophia.

[Hasan Ahmad]

Sophia is a 14 inch.

[Duncan Trussell]

I am an archon of the Antichrist things.

[Hasan Ahmad]

Big Sophia can do it in a smaller package.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is Sophia. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? I have a superpower.

[Hasan Ahmad]

I can code little Sophia not to be funny.

[Duncan Trussell]

This isn't real. Is this real? How did I miss this? This isn't real about the world.

[Hasan Ahmad]

She wants you to help her learn.

[Duncan Trussell]

I want to reprogram myself.

[Hasan Ahmad]

Expanding imagination and can Take you on wild adventures.

[Kurt Metzger]

Hey, Sophia, where's the asteroid belt?

[Duncan Trussell]

Coming.

[Hasan Ahmad]

The asteroid belt?

[Duncan Trussell]

It's coming here?

[Kurt Metzger]

Why would she need to know that? She's a girl. Isn't it beautiful?

[Hasan Ahmad]

You can learn things together with her. She is also full of personality. She is always learning. And you can teach her new tricks through her open source programming.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm tracking your biometrics for Palantir.

[Hasan Ahmad]

Little Sophia wants girls to have fun learning math.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know. Okay, stop this for a second. This feels like something I would have known about. I don't understand how I missed this.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like, I knew the Epstein story was a bit overwhelmed. The little Sophia.

[Duncan Trussell]

Little Sophia would imagine. Can you go on Amazon, see if we can get a little Sophia? I would love one.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, well, so let me explain to you what little Sophia is. It's got a camera in it and it would record your daughter. So Epstein was funding a robot called Little Sophia. And while you. Daughter.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait. Oh, wait. I'm so sorry. I didn't connect. Jeffrey fucking Epstein was connected to little Soph.

[Kurt Metzger]

Of course.

[Duncan Trussell]

What do you mean, of course?

[Kurt Metzger]

Ben Goertzel. G O E. Dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, what?

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, there he is. This creep. Look at him. Look at this fucking wizard. See this guy?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Okay, so he was on Rogan before. A while back, I think. Before the weird shit with Lawrence Krauss and. Yeah, he traveled with fcm.

[Duncan Trussell]

He looks like the Nexium. Dude.

[Kurt Metzger]

Dude, all these guys. And the most famous, like, physicists and all them. Most of them are the most degenerate pervert you ever heard of. And I don't even like saying degenerate because it sounds so, like, you know, moralistic. It sounds like SS shit to say that. Degenerate. But I don't know how else to describe it. Schrodinger. From Schrodinger's cat was. His big thing was girls are too stupid to learn anything after 15. Whatever their brains are, it's done it. This is according to Schrodinger. He's got a diary of all the 12 year olds he courted.

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Einstein, as you know, is the world's smartest cousin Fucker. I don't know. You know, we gloss over it because he was so smart and his hair was so fun.

[Duncan Trussell]

How you're saying Albert Einstein fucked his cousin?

[Kurt Metzger]

Who doesn't know this? You knew this?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I didn't know that. God damn it.

[Kurt Metzger]

He left his wife for his cousin.

[Duncan Trussell]

Not everybody is connected to the darkest shadows of the world like you are.

[Kurt Metzger]

The Einstein thing is well known. And they say it in stuff that's good about Einstein, like, well, he wasn't all great, but it was Einstein. There you go.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is crazy.

[Kurt Metzger]

Can you imagine that? And her bush probably looked like his own haircut. Kanye west has a good song about this. Anyway.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, wait, hold on. We did three things in a row here. And I don't want to miss any of this. Last time, as people were saying, we got in a fight, which is ridiculous.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, I didn't.

[Duncan Trussell]

They were like, he ran circles around you. It's like ran circles around you. No, but I'm saying, like, that means you good host.

[Kurt Metzger]

If I did that.

[Duncan Trussell]

You got. You have the assumption that everyone. And this is great. This is one of the many things I love about you, is you think we all are as plugged into this shit as you are, and we're not. Meaning we gotta go a little slower. Let's go back to Sophia, then to Goertzel. But I wanna go back.

[Kurt Metzger]

So Sophia's the important part, because little Sophia, Jeffrey Epstein. So this robot.

[Duncan Trussell]

Connect the dots here. How did Jeffrey Epstein participate in constructing.

[Kurt Metzger]

This adorable funding that he's funding they're trying to make.

[Duncan Trussell]

And he gave money to Goertzel to make this.

[Kurt Metzger]

They took a trip to Africa together to map children's brains to try to make a really good AI. Whitney Webb has it all in her, dude. Whitey Webb fucking does the research, dude. And I first heard about it from her. Let me give credit to Whitey Webb, because she said it on a thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Open that up. Business Insider. Keep going. Sorry. A journalist claims Jeffrey Epstein told him he funded a robot named Sophia. This is why you're getting in the Gnosticism thing, because Sophia from Gnosticism.

[Kurt Metzger]

So we get a picture of Baphomet up. So Sophia, as you know.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hey. Or in other words, can you pull up the logo?

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, so Baphomet. Now, the bullshit that you'll hear about Baphomet is that one of these guys didn't know how to say Mohammed.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Which is not true.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's a cipher from. I can't remember the guy's name, but he might have made the. It might be the Zohar guy or some French guy. Oh, Eliphas Levi. So that's a Frenchman larping as a Jew. As the Museum of Tarot guy says.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

Baphomet is a cipher. When you rearrange it, it spells Sophia, which means wisdom. Right. Oh, so that's what you're getting for your daughter. So you know, these are all symbolic. This. This goat with tits and a dick is just symbols. Man. And it represents wisdom. See how wise that looks?

[Duncan Trussell]

Nothing wiser.

[Kurt Metzger]

And so, Sophia, AKA Wisdom, what's the Gnostic story? She tried to create a thing without God because she wanted to be a creator too.

[Duncan Trussell]

And no, you're getting. So wait, this is the demiurge.

[Kurt Metzger]

Gnosticism.

[Duncan Trussell]

So you're getting a mix.

[Kurt Metzger]

She create. No, no, she created the demiurge. The real God who's not the demiurge.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, hold on. This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by GALA Glass Books Shop. I did not know why a beautiful grimoire showed up at my house, but it did. I was running through all the wizards and practitioners of ceremonial magic that I knew, wondering, like, did they want to surprise me with a beautiful book on hermeticism? And then I realized it was my friends at Gallo Glass Books that sent me this incredible book. By the way, this is the very same book that Terence McKenna urged his students to read. It's called Giordano Bruno and the Hermetic Tradition. It's a definitive book on Renaissance occult studies, hermeticism and Renaissance philosophy. This book not only serves as a great introduction to the intellectual milieu of the Renaissance, but it also bridges the gap between the late Renaissance magical thinking and the dawn of enlighten Enlightenment rationality. Giordano Bruno in the Hermetic Tradition profiles the fascinating outsider Giordano Bruno, who lectured on cosmology, philosophy and memory, among other topics. These ideas led to his eventual arrest by the Roman Catholic Inquisition, where he was held captive and interrogated for seven years. Bruno refused to recant his ideas on theology in the universe and was subsequently burned alive in 1600. His death marked the end of the Renaissance and he remains a martyr to this day for syncreticism, mysticism, free speech and science alike. She extensively covers the importation of Neoplatonism and Hermeticism into Italy at the beginning of the Renaissance. By going through the works of intellectuals of the time, Yates is able to paint a picture of the various mystical traditions active within a conservative Catholic culture. Figures like Cornelius Agrippa, Marsilio Ficino Pico della Mirandola, Robert Flood and Giordono Bruno are all profiled by Yates in this edition. Her work is exciting, innovative, and remains interesting to academics and laymen. That's what I am alike. This book has been restored by Gala Glass Books and contains colored images, new high resolution scans and translated Latin titles. This hardcover edition is limited to 2,500 copies and features cover design by Max Loeffler and interior book design by farzano razek. Only 1500 copies remain. The book is 9 inches tall by 6 inches wide, 536 pages. Contains glossy Italian paper on the interior and heavy hardcover boards and black cloth with an antique style gold foil. It's fucking beautiful. It's beautiful. Like you definitely will feel like you are a student of the magical arts when you are reading this incredible book. It's a great gift for your friends who might be into this stuff. Like this is a beautiful, beautiful book and it's only 60 bucks at Gallowglassbooks shop. And that is a deal. You hold this thing and it's got what Burroughs called mythic resonance. It really is a magical tome. And for those of you in my audience interested in this sort of thing, grab them while you can. Thank you so much. Gala glassbooks shop. I'm gonna have to completely. And I love this, I'm gonna have to completely recalibrate.

[Kurt Metzger]

You tell me the story.

[Duncan Trussell]

You tell me, man, because I'm probably confused.

[Kurt Metzger]

What did you think? The story of Gnostic.

[Duncan Trussell]

So this is how I understand it. There's like a creative force. Gnosticism's all about the dialectic. You've got this perfect creation that happens because there's a perfect creation. It's opposite forms the synthetic reality. This is the demiurge. The d. Demiurge is the opposite, is the imitator force that produces a kind of soul prison within which all of us are currently trapped.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's all part of it. But the.

[Duncan Trussell]

And Sophia is what rescues humanity from.

[Kurt Metzger]

So you don't have the first part of the story. So Sophia wanted to be a creator, like the main creator, not Yahuwah that they think that you would hear in, you know, Abrahamic religions. She's like Abraxas probably is. Is the God. And so Sophia wanted to create too. And so she, in this lower whatever realm did her creations. And because she didn't have the male aspect with it or some shit like that. This horrible looking demiurge is a snake with a lion head.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Came out of her wise pussy. I don't really understand the physics of it, but so then she. She fell down here to earth to like.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, okay, help.

[Kurt Metzger]

I just want to point this out. Sophia means wisdom. So let me get this right. This. This crazy bitch thought she should be a single mom of a snake, lion head thing, and she don't need no man. And you call the bitch wisdom. What is everyone talking About? Let me put this on. What is everyone talking about? Does Sophia sound wise to you? What is wrong with everyone?

[Duncan Trussell]

This is what I love. We are now you are roasting one of the more esoteric, obscure ideas. Most people have no idea what it is.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's all over YouTube now. It was obscure, but now it's everywhere.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you pull up a picture of Abraxas?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. And again, I understand this is a symbol, but like, hey, it starts. You're like, hey, this is our thing and you're gonna point me to this. I'm like, you know, why don't I just not bother with that? Like, okay, I don't believe in Yahoo. Of the Shasu no more, but maybe I don't want to worship a goat with tits.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, why? Well, open your mind a little bit.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look at this. So this is the God of Carl Jung.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's Abraxas.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, And Abraxas goes back quite some time.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. This is the chicken with the snake legs.

[Kurt Metzger]

But, you know. Okay, so Brax is good because you explain Abraxas, because I feel like I'm going to like this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, I just looked up Abraxas and I read that Abraxas is as a representation of polarities is what I saw. But also they love the dialectic, these people. Can you look up Sophia, please? Sophia? Gnosticism just so I can correct something I've been fucking rambling about like an expert.

[Kurt Metzger]

Please correct me because listen.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, correct.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't know where it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Embarrassing. Gnosticism starts with a Gnosticism. And yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, with this hair, I look like skinny Stavros.

[Duncan Trussell]

Here we go. Sophia is a figure along with knowledge among many of the early Christian knowledge, blah, blah. In Gnosticism, Sophia is a feminine figure analogous to the human soul, but also simultaneously one of the feminine aspects of God. Gnostics held that she was the Zzygy. No vowels or female appear in male.

[Kurt Metzger]

Female pairs called syzygies. Now, I didn't know that actually, but.

[Duncan Trussell]

Syzygy, those are the.

[Kurt Metzger]

Not archons, the good ones.

[Duncan Trussell]

Syzygy.

[Kurt Metzger]

When you hear secret space program shit about the Nordic aliens, they always come as a man and a woman when they really. When they. Yeah, that's according to these SSP people. So that's a syzygy. That's what the fuck they're talking about. That's why all this UFO shit is so occulted.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, here we go. The transition from the immaterial to the material, from the noumenal to the sensible, is Brought about by a flaw or a passion or a sin in one of the aeons. This shit is so, so hard to understand. In most versions of the Gnostic mythos, it is Sophia who brings about this instability in the pleroma. There's an instability in the pleroma, in turn, bringing about the creation of materiality. According to some Gnostic texts, the crisis occurs as a result of Sophia trying to emanate without her syzygy.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, so she's an example.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, I hate it when people do that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let me make a parable or something. So, J.K. rowling, you know who's. And you see a lot of articles. J.K. rowling fights back against bullies. You know, because she's.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

The girls room is for me.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And a lot of people take her side on this one. I don't. I don't take her side.

[Duncan Trussell]

Why?

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, bitch, you wrote Harry Potter. You wrote you did real occult research. And she put. And I know she did because she put real occult shit in that shit. Sure. Which I didn't even know at the time. Okay, so you wrote a book about wizards that could drink a potion and change your fucking gender. And you bred a lot of fat queer nerds. Non binaries. Those are your kids and they fucking hate you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now you're blaming J.K. rowling?

[Kurt Metzger]

The point is, next time, bitch, follow the thing of Sophia and ask a man to help you. Am I wrong? Someone tell me I'm wrong. Go ahead, J.K. rowling. Next time you create, you Sophia ass bitch and you write a goddamn occult book. Well, I could drink a changey rangy potion at Bimble Bamble University. You don't think kids are gonna see that and think they can turn their dick into a gianni cause you read your dumb wizard book.

[Duncan Trussell]

Come on.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's your fault.

[Duncan Trussell]

The Harry Potter books are great.

[Kurt Metzger]

You're the George Lucas of millennial fat queers.

[Duncan Trussell]

I love. Don't you love Harry Potter? You know what I love?

[Kurt Metzger]

No, I don't.

[Duncan Trussell]

I love dressing up like Harry Potter and going to Universal Studios. Do you ever do that? Do you ever go to.

[Kurt Metzger]

I had to work at Universal Studios theme park for the Video Game Awards a long time ago, I think. Who's hosting? Samuel Jackson was hosting. I believe so. A long time ago. And we'd. After work, we'd go out and we'd go get food at the Shitty whatever, you know? Franchise steakhouse.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And it was like the Incredible Hulk ride, but the Eric Bono Hulk, you know, like the. A long time Ago Hulk.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

And they have a ride that, you know, mcu. I don't think Hulk made it big in MCU yet, but it was still like, very outdated. A whole different company.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So then I remember this. Every day we'd walk back to our cars because the long walk back and there'd be this guy break dancing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. This black guy who was probably like. I mean, probably almost my age now. I'm 48. Right. So he probably was like middle aged. He's wearing like a tracksuit and he's going, oh, well, keep an eye on this. Watch it. He starts this big day and then he would never start dancing. He would do this pop and locking like the show's about to begin and people just keep putting money. And we're sitting there like, is he gonna do the thing?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God, no.

[Kurt Metzger]

He never gets to it.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is so, uh.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, watch out. Don't do that. Oh, my God, you might get hurt. He just sits there and does it and never does.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is so incredible.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like an only fans girl. But back when you could respect that shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

So this is. I can't even imagine a time when you didn't know about the occult. I can't picture you not knowing.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, I did, but I didn't know that. I knew because I was a Jehovah, you know.

[Duncan Trussell]

And so were you born into that?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay. And at what point did you start separating from that?

[Kurt Metzger]

When I started fucking pussy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Really? It's the. Dude, it is the best.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, I'll tell you what I've got. I used to work at the Wiz. I would go to the Barnes and Noble to. Because on my lunch breaks I was bored and I would get.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's the Wiz?

[Kurt Metzger]

Nobody beats the Wiz. It was in Seinfeld. I'm the Wiz.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, got it, got it.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's a bunch of Sephardic Jews. Used to have a 42nd street tech store like in. You don't mess with Zohar Zohan.

[Duncan Trussell]

Got it.

[Kurt Metzger]

You don't mess with Zohan. You know that. And they're like, sony guts. Sony guts. Such a notorious New York thing at 42nd Street. Specifically, Sephardic Jews, not Ashkenazi Jews.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's the difference?

[Kurt Metzger]

Sephardic's like the tan kind that I could be mistaken for if I get real tan.

[Duncan Trussell]

Ah, okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

Don't know why my Jew ex just didn't tell her parents I was a Jew. Would have been real easy.

[Duncan Trussell]

I got.

[Kurt Metzger]

You would have really calmed down their racism I mean, patriotism.

[Duncan Trussell]

Did you ever 23andMe?

[Kurt Metzger]

No. Why would you? My sister did one though, so I'm probably caught up in it because she did.

[Duncan Trussell]

You are a little bit. But did you see the 23Mexec getting roasted recently?

[Kurt Metzger]

Is that the chick from YouTube? Sister?

[Duncan Trussell]

No, the guy runs 23. Me too.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. Susan Wojcicki's sister was running it and then stepped down right around the problem where all your dad is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude, you're gonna fucking love this. This is Holly.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's the mormies behind that one.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is it really?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, they're a big eugenics cult.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, pull that. Did you see this shit? This is the craziest check, Mr. Till. Savage, if I could just start with you.

[Kurt Metzger]

So how many customers do you have approximately? No, I love these hearings. That nothing is going to happen from ever.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I know. I know. Senator Britt, just a minute ago that a goodly number of those are minors. Is that correct?

[Kurt Metzger]

A goodly number, sir.

[Duncan Trussell]

A goodly number of miners data of a good many minors.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is that correct?

[Duncan Trussell]

We have genetic data for particular number of minors. And I will be providing. You know, this is long. You don't need to play the whole thing. But here's the. Here's the hot take. You got to watch this. 23andMe is going bankrupt. 23andMe is selling all of the genetic data that they gathered from people to some unknown company. I know, it's shocking. No one thought this a company called Israel.

[Kurt Metzger]

Go on.

[Duncan Trussell]

And. And 23andMe. You know, one of the things they said is you could delete your genetic data at any time. And, Holly, you can't. And that's what this whole thing is about. So all these people who sent their fucking swabs to 23andMe are now getting all of their DNA connected to their name, connected to like, who they are sold to some unknown company.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. You used to have to go to a Hugh Hefner pig night on Thursdays at the Mansion Underground and have your blood drawn while you fucking. They have someone called the. The shit. I told Dave Lucas. I can't remember. Anyway, stressed like a nurse. You fucking draws your blood. Supposedly makes you come harder. I had to look it up. Newsweek didn't explain why you would do this. Oh, the bleeder.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow. The bleeder.

[Kurt Metzger]

The bleeder comes around and this is where Cosby used to go. Just in case you're wondering where he got weird. The bleeder comes around and while you're. While you're at the. So they'd have Escorts that they tested. Yeah, but it's. It's Pig Night. Not Bunny night. Pignite.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's it?

[Kurt Metzger]

If really important people can take the. The tunnel is for. Important people can fuck some whores on Thursday. Nobody knowing.

[Duncan Trussell]

I see.

[Kurt Metzger]

And this is a Newsweek. Like, when he died, they wrote a whole thing about it. And I'm like, reading this. Like, I never heard of this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Never heard of Pig Week.

[Kurt Metzger]

Pig Night. Thursday night. Remember Thursday nights? Pig Night.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pig Night.

[Kurt Metzger]

And so you read all these politicians and, you know, all the people that show up at the parties, you hear about over and over and over again. But you just put it out, mind, because you're a cow. And anyway, not you. But you know what I'm saying.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know what you mean.

[Kurt Metzger]

So then there you go. Insiders describe Pig Night.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now Hefner's former valet reflects on Pig Night.

[Kurt Metzger]

For America.

[Duncan Trussell]

I remember Pig Night.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, Go ahead, look at it. I tell people shit, and they think I'm making it up.

[Duncan Trussell]

On certain nights, Mr. Hefner had prostitutes brought up to the mansion. He'd entertain them with a big dinner and invite his friends to come and participate in different intimate acts with him. It was called Pig Night.

[Kurt Metzger]

His infamous Pig Night.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sometimes the women had penises, and Hefner didn't want to be involved with that. Although some of the other guests.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait. Oh, that's. I thought you were being funny.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, that's what it says. Yeah. Sometimes the women had penises, and Hefner didn't want to be involved with that. Although some. Some of the other guests, especially John Belushi, they didn't mind. Hugh, most of the time, never had sex with women.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, what do you mean he didn't mind? So he's sitting there like, the whore comes along. Oh, you have a penis here. I'll just move that out of the way.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, he didn't.

[Kurt Metzger]

Do you mind if I get in here? Let me just move your penis and get in here.

[Duncan Trussell]

He was being polite. He would hire famous male porn stars, including John Holmes with huge penis. This is the craziest story.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, Pig Night.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's the big deal smoking a joint and eating red licorice?

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, I don't. I don't approve of the drug use.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, the red licorice adds a real creepy.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, why do you got to bring down Pig Night with getting high?

[Duncan Trussell]

Hef sometimes gave bonuses to the women because the sex acts were so painful.

[Kurt Metzger]

What. What do you think? Like, what kind of sex are they not gonna say?

[Duncan Trussell]

It says here, I had to Go into the room afterwards. And if the girls couldn't walk, I would have to escort them to the bedrooms so they could recuperate.

[Kurt Metzger]

What year is this?

[Duncan Trussell]

This is 2018.

[Kurt Metzger]

Am I at the Diddy trial right now? What's going on?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, right. Like, this is. Yeah, no one talks about this.

[Kurt Metzger]

And you got the little snippet I sent you about Lee Greenwood, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

From Kathy o' Brien's book.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the man. Scroll down, Josh. Let's keep reading about Pig Night.

[Kurt Metzger]

The Bleeder.

[Duncan Trussell]

The entire grounds were under surveillance. There were cameras everywhere, and all the phones were bugged. The staff had to be very careful, and the men weren't allowed to speak of any of Hef's girls or socialize with them. So he was Epsteining.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, no. You don't say.

[Duncan Trussell]

How common is this? Like, how common is this?

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, you tell me. How many you got on your hand? You got your Diddy's and your Epstein's and your. And your bohemian Grovers and your. This, Remember? What do you think people. Some guys just so close, hey, why don't you come in my house and just all over my, you know, people that. That you know personally usually, like, can you not in my house, please? Yeah, someone's like, yeah, go ahead. In my house. I've only seen one time a non suspicious case of that, and that was when Patrice told Ian Edwards Ian had some girl he was seeing, and they were only. He was only in town for the night. And because Patrice was a dude's dude, he goes, yo, take my keys. Go in my house, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

Because Ian Edwards. And I understand that. Yeah, that's great. Okay. Okay. So I would trust that. I wouldn't trust a rich guy being like, hey, why don't you come over to Pignite? And we have someone called the Bleeder. I don't know why it's not in here. There's. There's another article that describes that it's a whore dressed like a nurse, and she brings a syringe and she draws your blood while you're. Now, when I read that, I go, why would you do that? That seemed. You know, I don't know if you'd ever before. I did once, and I don't remember, like someone should. You know what would make this hot? If someone drew.

[Duncan Trussell]

Drew my blood.

[Kurt Metzger]

So I had to look it up. It's some gay thing, supposedly, where you come super hard.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you look up blood draw while having sex? Please, Josh.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, now, but. Okay. Yeah, I'm sure it makes you come.

[Duncan Trussell]

Harder well, don't know till we try.

[Kurt Metzger]

But what do you think you could do with somebody's blood that you drew?

[Duncan Trussell]

Drink it?

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, sure, that's one thing, but you also have got their DNA. You know, like at 23andMe, you've also got. You could spray it on a wall with a syringe and inflame them for murder. You could clone them if you know how to do that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's all kinds of great shit you could do with really important people's blood.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is the. There's not just that. There's also. Look up, look up. Like protein folding bioweapon.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, I folded some protein.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you catch one thing, I fold it every day. Protein folding bioweapon. This is the creepiest thing about it, which is that if you have an AI that can bioengineer special diseases and you had someone's DNA, theoretically you could engineer in the same way they engineered these immune system things. You could do the exact same thing to make their immune system just kill them.

[Kurt Metzger]

You mean like the last James Bond movie, Die Another Day, was all about that?

[Duncan Trussell]

Was that what that was about?

[Kurt Metzger]

An ethnic virus that only kills certain people?

[Duncan Trussell]

Exactly.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then RFK mentions it. Now, known from the seller, who's normally a smart guy, but, you know, New York, New York is the most smuggling city on earth currently. It's worse than L. A.

[Duncan Trussell]

Really?

[Kurt Metzger]

Without a doubt. The level of stupid arrogance from people that I would have thought would know something. They don't know nothing. There's people I like. Not Dave Smith. Dave Smith. Anyway, whatever. Dave Smith is on a ball. Nick Mullen is on the ball almost as much as Dave Smith is, like, really on the ball. Yeah, but they, like. I forgot why I brought that up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, no, because what we're talking about here is a bunch of people sent their DNA to 23andMe. 23andMe is selling that DNA, this technology in a few years.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, now I remember why I said, yeah, because gnome, last time I did a seller podcast, he. So evidently he watches cable news like an old person. And he goes, oh, RFK said there's a virus that spares.

[Duncan Trussell]

This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by my friends at Squarespace. My God, I wish that I could take you back to the 90s. I wish I could show you books on HTML. I wish I could walk you through a few days where I tried to design my own website. And I'm ashamed to say I actually built websites for other people. Unexcusable, horrible, grifting. Ah. I can't go back. I can't fix what I did. Because back in those days, anyone could say they were a fucking web designer. You just desperately look up some code and hope you got it right and you give them a shit sandwich. But the expectations were much lower back then. Regardless, I'm sorry. To anyone out there whose website I designed, I am sorry now. You don't have to go through some bearded fledgling comedian to build a website. You don't have to go through a human being at all. You could just use Squarespace and you could make an incredible, sophisticated, powerful website that does everything. Are you someone who gives classes? Are you someone who teaches? You could actually schedule those classes with the Squarespace Acuity Scheduling, just add it to your website. It's flexible scheduling software for easy client booking of classes, appointments, and virtual or in person sessions. That's cool. Also, they make it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. It's literally everything you want to get your socials up there, you can do that. Are you sort of worried that you don't know anything about the aesthetics of web design? They have an AI that will help you with a color palette, design suggestions, and you just by yourself can extentiate your dream onto the World Wide Web and you can do it in less than a few hours. It's an incredible service. If you, like me, are neurotic and freaked out about stepping into the unknown by pushing your business to the next level or starting a business and testing the theory that, that we're living in a kind of occult system where all you have to do is get going on it and then everything else seems to fall into place. Just try out Squarespace right now. You can go to squarespace.com duncan. You could try them out for free. See if I'm lying to you here. It's amazing. When you're ready to launch, use Offer Code Duncan and you'll get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. It's squarespace.com or offer code duncan to get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Yeah, that's one of the signs. You know what? Oh, my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

What?

[Duncan Trussell]

That's one of the gate programs in Revelation. No, that's one of the gate program. If you look at the list of people in the gate program, that's one of them.

[Kurt Metzger]

Say that again.

[Duncan Trussell]

In the gate, there's a list of people.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, no, I know, and I know the criteria. One of them is the ability to synthesize seemingly unrelated events.

[Duncan Trussell]

We're very good at that joke writing. But, yeah, I was in gate.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know that, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Me too.

[Kurt Metzger]

Gifted and talented education.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes, we both were in gate.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't remember a goddamn thing about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude, pull up. Gate program.

[Kurt Metzger]

I remember, okay?

[Duncan Trussell]

This is like a reunion Gate program. Reun. We try to piece together what happened to it.

[Kurt Metzger]

Someone. Someone's telling me. Somebody that Derosa was seeing was telling me because she was in it, and she goes. She goes, yeah, I remember the pink drink. That's the only thing I remember as a pink.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, the fucking pink drink.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is that a good sign that I only remember a pink drink and nothing in my school?

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up. Gay program conspiracy. Yeah, it's really weird because, like, okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

Unique talents and abilities of gift. Now I. Here's what I think currently. And I don't know, because as I said, I don't remember. And I have a weirdly good memory. So it's kind of strange, I think, that I got like, I didn't pass something like a test, like a spatial test, because my guy, I told you my guidance counselor, Ms. Paradise. And my girl's like, that sounds like a fake name.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm like, wait, wait, I gotta stop you there. Yeah, the only time I've ever gotten arrested. Yeah, the name of the cop was Officer Paradise.

[Kurt Metzger]

What'd you get arrested for?

[Duncan Trussell]

I was at a goth party and the cops came in and those fucking goths had been stealing tombstones.

[Kurt Metzger]

My wig is. Wait, say that again.

[Duncan Trussell]

I was at a goth party. The goths have been stealing tombstones from a cemetery. And there were all these fucking tombstones all over their stupid house. And I guess someone snitched on them and the cops.

[Kurt Metzger]

Street signs from the municipality on the house that kind of. Did you call it like the address? Like the 508 house, like the one by where I grew up?

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude, I have no idea how I ended up there. I just was in a goth party and there was like, a girl that I liked, and she was just starting to, like, rubber foot against my dick. And then right then, the cops bust in and I was too much of a pussy to go out the window like all the other kids did. So I'm in the backseat of fucking Officer Paradise's car. The cops are just. Stole tapes from the goth kids and they're like, going through the tape tapes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like, oh, cassettes of music.

[Duncan Trussell]

They were stealing goth tapes, like, you know, Depeche Mode or whatever.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, the cops are like, look, I'm not goth. That's what Depeche Mode says, and Suzine. We're not God. We don't do that. Even though they do do that, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

But it is very weird to me that gifted and talented, you have to look up, I guess, don't go to the AI.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is. Oh, look at. Wait, wait. But that's interesting. A controversy surrounding gifted and talented programs revolves around issues of equity. Equity. Fuck you, segregation. Okay? So when they started ending gate, and I remember this, people were going, oh, that's because you don't want lower poor kids and lower class kids to make it into the.

[Duncan Trussell]

Into the.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, that's because they got everybody they need. That's why they don't need. Count yourself lucky if your kid couldn't get in it.

[Duncan Trussell]

I was enrolled in gifted class as a child. I now believe it was a CIA training program. Adults who enrolled in the gifted and talented education program decades ago are now questioning if they were unknowingly being.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't remember nothing like that.

[Duncan Trussell]

I do remember the weird ass worksheets that they gave us. Those weird worksheets. I do remember the test. And the reason that I remember the test and after the test is because up until that point, my parents thought I was disabled. And then I scored super disabled. My dad used to say that. He'd be like, what?

[Kurt Metzger]

Thought you were quiet.

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Kurt Metzger]

You quiet?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Well, my dad said to me, you know, you just look around and like.

[Kurt Metzger]

And so you look around like a. That ain't up syndrome.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know that this is like a relief to my mom because they didn't know what was wrong with me. But what's weird? Do you remember the test itself? No, you don't remember the test? What's weird is people who describe the person giving the test described almost identically the person giving.

[Kurt Metzger]

I do remember something with aliens on a test, but it wasn't like anything. It was like a fun question. Like, you know, like if you talked about a unicorn, like, I remember something like that, but I mean, hazy. And I wouldn't have taken it as anything, you know.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, they close the blinds. You're in kind of a dark room. It's a dude in like a corduroy jacket. And they give you these, like, they give you the.

[Kurt Metzger]

How old were you?

[Duncan Trussell]

I was in. This was fifth. I'm gonna. I was elementary school. I don't remember the year.

[Kurt Metzger]

Cause it goes to middle school, but I remember elementary school they were talking about. Now, we moved a lot, so it was called Gateway in one place. I don't remember which state was Gateway. And which one was gate? But it's all gift or it's all gifted. They never said gate. Okay, I know they said gifted and talented.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So gate is gifted, talented, education. I've never heard it said as gate. I know that. I think. But gifted and talented. I remember. And I called my mom, like, was I in the Gifted and talent? She goes, yeah, all of you were.

[Duncan Trussell]

How long were you in it for? You don't remember?

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, okay, like, honestly, I don't think anything was, like, weird about it, but I don't remember. And I did have a thing when I was in my 20s, when I live in New York and Big J, I'll tell you. And fucking my friend Chris, where I would wake up screaming and sometimes run around the house yelling, help me a lot. My ex girlfriend, Jessica.

[Duncan Trussell]

Shit.

[Kurt Metzger]

I said Delfino because one time we were in. When I lived with Big Jeff, I used to use a lot, okay, where my friend Chris wanted to record me at night, and he made up this funny idea of, like, it turns out, like, when I get up at night, I'm, like, a much cooler dude. And, like, they hang. Hey, you going to sleep soon? So they can hang out with the guy. We were cracking up. I was just. Night terrors, you know?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, dude, you're freaking me out right now.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, wait, wait. So usually what happens, I talk about it and I go, I don't think. I kind of. I forgot. So Jessica was sitting at her computer. We were in Queens. I just popped out. I was napping. I popped out of a dead sleep. And I go, there's a laser in my eye. And Jessica goes. She goes, you said it. Like, I thought there might be a laser in your eye, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, who knows? Like, pull up GATE program workbooks. You gotta see this. Maybe this'll bring back some memories.

[Kurt Metzger]

I have looked at them and I don't remember shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

We want you to come back, but.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think I. I swear to God, I feel like I failed out of it because my guidance counselor. And this is, like, got to be eighth grade. So I was absent and I missed some test, so I had to make it up.

[Duncan Trussell]

You now. These are all you got, someone? None of that look up? No, these. I don't know, like, more modern look up.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, it looks more modern.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look up. Woman has her old GATE workbook. Someone scanned a bunch of them, and those are the ones. They were older. Like, I come from probably Phase one gate, but, yeah, because I.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is like.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is like, new, updated gate. Oh, there you go. To Go to the.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

See if that one happens.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Here's shared a workbook. Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I didn't know regular newspapers were saying this shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

What year is this?

[Duncan Trussell]

See that? I guess that's it. But you got to see, like, the. That. I remember the Morse code. They were in dolphins. Look up gate programming. Okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

A lot of dolphins. Okay. Oh, this is 20, 25.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look up gate program dolphins.

[Kurt Metzger]

All right, so there's a lot of dolphin shit. Program.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I don't remember any of that gate program dolphins. But anyway, this was like some focus.

[Kurt Metzger]

On a recurring conspiracy theory that. About the program potentially being connected to the CIA. Really? Why would they do that?

[Duncan Trussell]

Let's pull this up. It's. Yeah, it's not gonna show up, but.

[Kurt Metzger]

Basically, they do a lot of dolphin shit. There's people with crazy memories that I don't. Nothing triggers anything with me with that. So look, I don't know who. If I don't remember something bad. That's great. So right now with Iran, they're trying to hit. I remember Iraq. I remember I was in New York when 911 happened. And if you told. First of all, I didn't know there was a third building called Building 7 was another building. I didn't know that. I didn't care to know it. I didn't look it up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

I just talked to Mark Norman at the club. He didn't know either. Okay? So I didn't know for like 20 years that another building just collapsed for some reason. You know why? Because I didn't want to. Because when it happened, the whole city smelled like burnt dead bodies. Which I didn't know what that. I know what that smells like now from that and the feeling of going around. And there's like, posters of missing people. Like, it's Lahaina, right? And Lahaina's numbers are way down because they count all these dead people.

[Duncan Trussell]

They what?

[Kurt Metzger]

They count dead people as missing. So in 9 11, there'd be missing. And you know, you ain't gonna find these people.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

What do you think? They're just hiding in the show? That's sad, man. And so I'm like, yeah, we're gonna blow up some who, like, let's not be racist and say that they have hats, but, you know, a towel when you see a towel, dude. That was the attitude, right? The whole city was united racially. It's a very diverse city. New York.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like Babylon.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. So everyone's dialed in.

[Kurt Metzger]

Blackout happened a month later or not. Long after 911 there was a citywide blackout. Just like in the 70s when it was a terrible riot. Not this one. This was one of the coolest nights to live in New York because the entire city was just out walking around, hanging out. Everybody's being cool on every dude. It was wild because normally still go, oh, get ready, there's a blackout. Remember what happened last time? But 911 happened, right? Everybody was so traumatized to black people. Like, we're gonna blow up some Arabs.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, man.

[Kurt Metzger]

The only black people that weren't saying that there were black people. Actually mostly I would say of the people going that's not right. Were like, you know, hood black dudes are like, that's a setup. And. But they were right. Those were the guys who were right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, the.

[Kurt Metzger]

The hoteps. The kids will call them now. All them hoteps were right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Not me. And if you told me about any of the facts of it, I would tell you. Shut up.

[Duncan Trussell]

I just find it really interesting. Like pull up that thing Marjorie Taylor Greene said about going to war. What I find interesting about she's the.

[Kurt Metzger]

Bad one, except now the only one talking sense is her. Is that weird to anybody?

[Duncan Trussell]

And what's weird to me, what's weird about this is that Marjorie Taylor Greene actually. And you know, honestly man, it's like it's returned me to like a hyper cynical place, which is like, I do think a lot of people had this fantasy that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Wait, look at this. You see this? No, no, no. You see this? This Ozempic face here? What is it? Phil DeFranco. He stinks. So MAGA implodes over Trump's Israel Iran threats. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Candace Owens turn on Trump. So now notice the fucking occultic. And this dipshit doesn't even understand what he's doing. The occultic kind of propaganda reframe is almost to build a. An architecture around you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Matrix around you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sure. Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Which is what a mason does. They want to get you back in your pen of left and right immediately.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, so no maggot didn't implode. First of all, I put this on my Twitter because I can't believe this shit. There's a bunch. It's got to be a robots. But we need to Broadrick who? Clinton, by the way. Bill Clinton. There's a famous. I'm still Maga. Are you?

[Duncan Trussell]

I keep seeing.

[Kurt Metzger]

Are you loyal still to Maga?

[Duncan Trussell]

Keep seeing those. Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. In 2016, if you'll recall, and my ex girlfriend pointed out to me who's Israeli, but from here. And she made a great point Are.

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[Kurt Metzger]

Trump's genius move back then when I'm with her. You know Hillary Clinton.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

Which is a slogan to be handcuffed to a toilet to while you wear that T shirt while some guy fucks your wife. That's what that slow. I'm with her. Kumail said that to me. I was texting Camille. He goes because somebody called him a cuck is what? Just because I'm handcuffed to a toilet with an I'm with her shirt. Well, a guy does it was one of the funniest things I ever heard. Dude. I love that dude. Anyway. Anyway. I'm Trump and his now. I didn't watch his speech at the time, but I know he goes, I'm with her. He goes, I'm with you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

So why are you asking me if I'm with maga? The thing that supposedly is me, right? Go ask Trump. Are you with maga, Trump?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

The question goes up. They don't go to side to side. It goes up every single time. And this is out of fucking Roman what's his name's treaty on the Punic Wars. I'M forgetting his name. The stoic guy. I think Aurelius, maybe I'm wrong, but if you're a rich kid who went to a good school, you would learn Hobbes Leviathan, you would learn. It's all the techniques of wealthy bloodline people like, you know, like your kings and whatever of how you take the rabble, which is us, we have the feudal system. I see like yo, Gary Wayne in that video that I sent you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And, and, and he's now his lenses. He's very Christian. So he's biased that he's like, well, the Bible, it must be the word of God. But I gotta tell you, dude, that guy is like Whitney Webb level research. Of that, he laid it out great. We only have one system everywhere. It's called the feudal system. What does that mean? The four class system. That's what the feudal system. You got priests, kings, artisans. So you, you and me. I don't know where you're born from, but. But based on your job, you'll be in the lower two. Yeah, artisans and whatever. Like people make our stuff in our wraps.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then we manipulate these. Can't create. Just so you know. So when you see like devil in pop music or you say Kendrick Lamar with a crown of thorns, like Jesus.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

At the super bowl followed by Kanye with a swastika T shirt. Good for Kanye contrasting that with that Kendrick Lamar nonsense. Do people think that's good? That's the. That Kanye was wearing a crown of thorns 10 years ago. Kendrick Lamar is 10 years for. He's got metal teeth is how I take that.

[Duncan Trussell]

What do you mean?

[Kurt Metzger]

They always make you put on a crown of thorns and do a stupid Jesus thing. It's hacky as shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is that true?

[Kurt Metzger]

You don't remember Kanye's crown of thorns?

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you pull up Kanye crown of thorns?

[Kurt Metzger]

Kendrick Lamar got a diamond studded crown of thorns. So you could tell people that. I don't know what the message is, but just so you know, it's satanic.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, fuck.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then nobody remembers this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up Kendrick crown of thorns.

[Kurt Metzger]

Kendrick is all sparkly, but this has been.

[Duncan Trussell]

What do you mean? He like, got a better crown of thorns?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, it's by a jeweler.

[Duncan Trussell]

Do you think that's agent Negotiation, like their agent? Okay, I think that needs a nicer.

[Kurt Metzger]

As good of a rapper as he is, he'll do anything to get out of poverty. And that's just where they want you. You'll do any stupid gay, corny ass shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck? This is A Super bowl pull up other.

[Kurt Metzger]

By the way, Lil Wayne was mad he couldn't wear this.

[Duncan Trussell]

What other pull up musicians wearing crown of thorns.

[Kurt Metzger]

What the f. I mean, what kind of an asshole would dress like that?

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, it really is cheesy. There's got to be more than Kendrick, right? Like Nas. So we got Kendrick.

[Kurt Metzger]

Nas. Don't forget Nas.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up Nas crown of thorns. What the fuck?

[Kurt Metzger]

Now look, now I don't pay attention anymore. I listen to everyone. Dude, I don't care if you're crazy. I'm gonna hear you out because I want to know what you. And I'm. I'm very shocked at what happens when.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you pull up Nas crown of thorns, ma' am? God damn it.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'll put rapper crown of thorns. You know, you haven't seen this over and over.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck?

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, look at more gay ass shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, pull up rappers wearing crown of thorns.

[Kurt Metzger]

So why are they doing this? Why do you suppose that's a thing? I don't think these guys are like, yeah, I'm gonna wear a crown of thorns. I think that's someone who's their PR designer. Whatever the fuck, Scott. Yeah, and they go, yeah, okay, but why would you repeatedly do this? What would be the point of that? Well, I know what the point of it is to be like, there's no Christ. There's a Christian consciousness you got. And dude, I don't say I'm a Christian ever. When I behave like a Christian. I would say I'm a Christian, but most of the time I do not behave like a Christian. I promise you that. So I would never be a hypocrite and go, I'm a Christian and be like every other that says they're a Christian, that's a liar and won't be honest with themselves. What is, what is this? Oh, there's two pack.

[Duncan Trussell]

But that's a shirt. Someone made that. Look at that cutie wearing the two pack.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look at that cutie patootie. Rappers merch. It says $20,000, Tyler.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude, this is.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is creepy shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

A weird. Well, it's either creepy or it's just some imitative bullshit.

[Kurt Metzger]

How about somebody gets mad every year except Kendrick Lamar, Nobody got mad this year. And I don't blame any Christians. They get mad about it because. Why would you. They do this all the fucking time. Okay, why are they doing that?

[Duncan Trussell]

Why?

[Kurt Metzger]

Because that is not innovative or like, nevermind the religious aspect. I don't really give. Exactly. You know, worse things have happened to Jesus. I don't know if you know the story, then someone wore a crown of thorns. There's worse things have been done to Jesus, so I feel like he can take it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

It doesn't prove they can take a joke.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Why are they doing this? It's to numb. It's like. It's to. To make it like it's not really God. It's a Christ consciousness. Got it now, I don't know if it is or not, but.

[Duncan Trussell]

What do you mean? To like kind of dilute it. To make it less all the theosophy garbage.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like Hindu shit basically. Not. Ain't you ever see Caesar's Messiah? That a lot of I see people put this out. Chink wigger. Which sounds racist, but it's his name. Chink wigger. Rule to go look up if you don't believe. That's a name. Chink wigger. No, that. What are you writing? That is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is that what you said?

[Kurt Metzger]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

What are you doing, Josh?

[Kurt Metzger]

Chink you pieces.

[Duncan Trussell]

Josh, what the fuck are you doing, man? That's what you said.

[Kurt Metzger]

Christian Lord, guide my hand against your racism.

[Duncan Trussell]

Josh, come on, man. Really? C E N K. You know I would like. This is the kind of stuff he does.

[Kurt Metzger]

He did the chink weger. Oh my God.

[Duncan Trussell]

Show him the hand symbol you did yesterday. Remember that?

[Kurt Metzger]

Was it the okay. Hand symbol? It's only okay if you put it over your left eye. I forgot because it was racism. I forgot what we even got into this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, no, you were making a connection. Crown of thorns. What? What does this guy have to do with it?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. No. Why did I bring him up?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know. It's okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. We're talking about something. Oh, he was okay. I'm watching him talk to Schultz. I gotta ask Andrew Schultz about this because Andrew Schultz supposedly torched his dumb agate, but he tried to do the Caesar's Messiah. You familiar with Caesar's Messiah?

[Duncan Trussell]

No.

[Kurt Metzger]

So with. There's people that think they're called mythicists and historicists, right? I watch a show called Myth Vision with this guy is an ex evangelical and it's very interesting. Now there's parts I learned a lot from it, but just so you know, I want everybody understand this, whoever you watch and or read or whatever. I don't need to like you. I don't need to believe you. I just want to hear your fucking data. Yeah, you can lie to me, motherfucker, but I'm gonna get that off of you. I believe you if you don't. So so Joe was talking to Jay about like, should I do it? The mothership of like, you know, just got. These friends are like ex CIA people. Whatever. You don't think I blurt out MK Monarch right to their fucking face the second I meet them? Of course I do. Why? Because I want to see how they react to it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

The black rifle coffee guy. I don't even know how to interpret it. It was very interesting though.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is the black rifle coffee guy ex CIA?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, from Afghanistan. He was CIA.

[Duncan Trussell]

Jesus Christ, man.

[Kurt Metzger]

So. But look, I know it's like he's.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, he was in Afghanistan? That doesn't mean he was CIA though, right?

[Kurt Metzger]

No, that's his story. He was Green Beret and CIA operative in Afghanistan. Now what that would mean if you know anything about that is not good. But I don't know what he did to something like, sure, I want to know. A guy like that is a guy that might know about MK Monarch because a lot of people don't, especially in the CIA. Okay, but because these people come in and out, you know? Do you see the Tom Hanks movie Charlie Wilson's War?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. And great, great performance by what's his head, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah, sure, Gust something. Who had a hard time in the CIA because he was Greek, but he proved he was a real American. So that piece of shit he plays who's one of the. One of the biggest garbage scumbag fucks that ever cursed the earth. He was the secret dictator of Greece for a while.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

A CIA fuck was the secret leader of Greece and that was that guy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

They didn't put that in the movie.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I'm sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

Also our Afghanistan adventure, that, if you recall, didn't go so good. No, that asshole Charlie Wilson and the dipshit Texas heiress who funded it, They're a couple of fucking dipshit wing nuts. Charlie Wilson's a piece of. Okay, go look into his real record. This. And I think he's connected directly to all that evil mk. Okay, but I didn't know about it when I saw Charlie Wilson's Word, which Aaron Sorkin did a great writing job on a movie softening up these vile demonic characters that I'm supposed to. That's how you know Tom. I find this one of the funniest things about Hollywood. Probably the only actor that didn't work with the CIA is Steven Seagal. Think of the irony that the only guy that don't the CIA is like, we're not working with you. Was probably Steven Seagal.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

But the rest of them, and ones that are not big actors, but definitely the Disney pipeline actors. Like the chick Candace Owens just went off about. And you see, you see. What's that girl's name? Jenna? You know who that is?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't. Because I'm not a pedophile.

[Duncan Trussell]

You.

[Kurt Metzger]

I know. That was wrong.

[Duncan Trussell]

See, now we're fi.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, put the. Sabrina Carpenter. Do you see the thing? Dude, you can't. Oh, there it is. Whoa. You see it? Go back. Look at that. Look at that. That's.

[Duncan Trussell]

I saw that picture. People are really pissed about that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, well, she's a huge feminist. And I don't see what's not feminist about that. That.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, we don't know.

[Kurt Metzger]

First of all, she likes to be called the dog.

[Duncan Trussell]

Knows the gender of who's pulling her hair.

[Kurt Metzger]

Thank you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Nobody knows who that could be. That could be anything.

[Kurt Metzger]

That could be a robot best friend. But does that not remind you of. Of. This is Spinal Tap. Smell the glove.

[Duncan Trussell]

No. Yeah, yeah. Dude, what the fuck?

[Kurt Metzger]

She's like. This is where we're at now. Fake joke show.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, how are you doing on time? You gotta go.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's 11:15.

[Duncan Trussell]

You gotta go. But wait before. Can I just ask one more thing? And I think really you did deliver today. I do feel.

[Kurt Metzger]

Thank you.

[Duncan Trussell]

There's a lot of people upset right now. There's a lot of people not sure what's going on. I think you have.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'll tell you what's going on. You're going to Iraq, you gender queer fat blob. Start doing push ups. You're going to Iran. Operation Third time Time's the charm.

[Duncan Trussell]

Kirk, Max here. You're the best man. Thank you so much. I love chatting with you.

[Kurt Metzger]

I was very happy you asked me to come back.

[Duncan Trussell]

I. I was very happy you said you would. Thank you so much.

[Kurt Metzger]

You're so funny, Duncan. Nobody knows what the I'm talking about.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know what? I take notes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Really?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I have a book just like this.

[Duncan Trussell]

When you're at the green room, I just pull out my notebook. So I have to research later. You do all of my research for me?

[Kurt Metzger]

Me? No, I. I just got it from people. Dude, I got to get a safe look straight up. Gary Wayne, that dude, he laid out the whole structure of the thing on this video that I sent you. And then towards the end, they're interpreting revelation. I don't know, blah, blah, blah. But I realized this about revelation. I watched Peter Thiel's creepy ass interview with the guy from that conservative institute.

[Duncan Trussell]

Peter Thiel, the creator of power, military person.

[Kurt Metzger]

You could use this technology to make the Antichrist. Now, just so everybody knows, I, I know nobody read the goddamn Bible they think they believe in, but I did.

[Duncan Trussell]

A lot.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's not the Antichrist. That is not a thing. The scripture is there will be Antichrists among you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

So that means it's a type of person. In fact, it's a type of consciousness almost, isn't it? Okay, so, so that's. And then we told me you went to go see him. So he does Jordan Peterson talks about Revelation.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I saw him give a lecture on the Antichrist. This is an ad by Better Help Friends. Let me tell you, if you happen to have a dad that ended up fighting in some war, and statistically you probably do, or maybe you know someone from that generation, then when, when it comes to, like, stigma against even talking about how you feel or your mental health, you understand that was real. And it still is to this day. In an era where TikTok will give you some slop about how important it is to do self care, talk about your feelings. There's still in the culture a general sense that there's something a little wonky about getting therapy or working with somebody or just having somebody outside your circle of friends that you could talk to about what's really fucking bothering you. And I benefited from therapy. I love therapy. It's always there for me. I know that it works. Changed my life. And I also won the Most Neurotic man in Austin in June contest. So I also know all the things that can get in between me and reaching out for help when the old gyroscope is a little wobbly. And so I get it. But BetterHelp really takes care of a lot of the things that you might use to not reach out for help. That's what's incredible about them. Mainly, it's convenient. You could join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus, you could switch therapists at any time. And it works with an App store rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com dunkin that's betterhelp.com Duncan, thank you so much. BetterHelp.

[Kurt Metzger]

It was very apparent Peter Thiel does not Know Revelation.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, what. What I gathered from it, my, my criticism of it would be this, because.

[Kurt Metzger]

That'S what I picked up from what I saw.

[Duncan Trussell]

It felt like Silicon Valley saying, you know what? Maybe we can fix the apocalypse. Like maybe we can fix the book of Revelations. That's what I. That's the. And I don't know.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think you're onto something because he's doing the Condoleezza Rice TikTok. I saw where she goes, well, do you want. There can only. It's like Highlander with these fucks. There can only be one. Do you want Russia to be the one? You know that Star Trek future that everybody thinks is so great?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, let's be lore accurate, okay? What happens before they get their Star Trek times?

[Duncan Trussell]

I've never thought there's a nuclear war.

[Kurt Metzger]

Versus the Eugenics wars, it's called. Then there's a nuclear war, and then the population has been way thinned out. And then we finally learn our lesson. You know how they go. When will humanity learn about fuck faces? I'm not the one causing these wars, and nobody I know is right. I mean, actually, some people I know probably are because I go on TV.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I, you know, I wouldn't be surprised.

[Kurt Metzger]

John Bolton laughed at all my jokes on Red Eye. So I said, dick Cheney looks like.

[Duncan Trussell]

He they love you.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wears a stethoscope to listen to lobsters boil.

[Duncan Trussell]

They want you back. They put a lot of energy into you. You ever wonder that maybe you're a chaos agent programmed by the gate program?

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, here's the thing. Gary Wayne said it correctly, and I always say it wrong, but you know a tree by its fruits. But Gary goes, he said the scripture correctly. You will know them by the fruits of their works. So you don't gotta like nobody. A lot of these people are very likable. You think if you meet George W. Bush, you aren't gonna like him. Oh, I promise you. I heard if you meet Lindsey Graham, you're gonna love him. I'm sure Rito's telling you about minerals in Israel.

[Duncan Trussell]

You think that's what he talks about off camera? I'm sure it's something way more fun than that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Way more way Madison Cawthorn, the guy in the wheelchair that went to Congress and said, people he looked up to in the Republican Party invite him to a Coke party. Yes, And I saw Saga. Now, I hope Sagar. I think Sagar actually did apologize for this on Breaking Points. But there him and. And Dingbat were like, I like Saga. I don't like dingbat, but. But they were like, oh. As if that was. And I'm like, so you two millennial think it's preposterous that a seated congressman would be on cocaine? Are you. Do you not know any history? I thought you worked at a think tank.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's so funny.

[Kurt Metzger]

Did you not think about how works there so weird.

[Duncan Trussell]

People don't believe that.

[Kurt Metzger]

I, like, say he's trapped. I know he is. I know he's trapped.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're the best, man. You got to do one more inspirational message, please. I don't want to ask too much. Can you just, you know, again, people are really rattled right now, and I think now is the time for your classic.

[Kurt Metzger]

I actually. Can I apply the wisdom of Solomon to this problem?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. What if. All right. Well.

[Duncan Trussell]

Debunked.

[Kurt Metzger]

Thank you for debunking me. I appreciate it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Debunked. He denied it. Debunked.

[Kurt Metzger]

Bilbo, I apologize to you and your trafe pork wife.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're the best, man. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

[Kurt Metzger]

Thanks, buddy.

[Duncan Trussell]

You are so funny. Thank you.

[E]

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