Josh Funn (5:43)

It's a perfect world.

Duncan Trussell (5:46)

It's a perfect world. We're in a perfect universe. And you might not understand it, but it's a perfect place. And just saying it's a perfect world. To a lot of these people it's like walking into their temple and taking a big old mango dump right on their altar of suffering. Oh yeah. The new black mass is proclamations of joy. Epiphanous buglings of how beautiful the world is. That's it. We must no longer chain ourselves to this insane dystopian distortion that they want us to believe is the world. If we do this together, if we rise up together, if we push back together, they'll be driven back into the shadows they already are experiencing. Something that I must say, I take a little bit of joy in. Their mob is diminishing. They're looking around and watching their fellow mob members dropping their torches, wandering out of the town square, embarrassed by the reing of the mob. Freaking them out, friends. It's freaking them out. And that's a good sign. All that's left of this bizarre group comprised of a variety of strange ideologies is the most committed, the true believers, the ones who read the loudest. And it's scary. I think for them, it's scary because they're watching this powerful fucking mob that used to really control so many things fall apart in front of them, dissipate. That's the problem with using rage as fuel. It burns up the engine. You think fucking fossil fuels are bad hate fuel. Oh, that burns the engine of the heart. It's impossible to keep it going. And if you can't keep it going, you get sick. You seem crazy, you seem nuts. And eventually all that you have left is the smoldering remains of what used to be your beautiful zeitgeist. It doesn't have to be that way. Those of you who are still aligned with whatever this fucking strange, diminishing mob is realize you could drop your torch and go home anytime you want. They won't like it. Oh, they won't like it. But just ask yourself, are there certain things that you think but can't say? Anything in there that you think but can't say? Are you worried that there are things if you say it will cause your friends to turn their backs on you? Attack you? Publicly hurt you? If so, you must ask yourself something. Are these my friends? Are these truly the people I want to align myself with? And I'm not saying jump from one political ideology into the next. Don't fall for that awful trap either. You see, politics is an amoeba. It co opts everything. It co opts everything. Music, art, spirituality. It wants to grab it, claim it as its own. And maybe one of the things that I fucked up with on this podcast is that I didn't always say what I was thinking. That's my fault, I'll admit it. There was some fear there. Pandemic was scary. A lot of people actually did get canceled. A lot of people got ruined. A lot of people got kicked to the curb. For real. It happened. We got scared, got freaked out, we got quiet. But what happened is the mob, whatever it is. And again, I'm not pointing to the liberals, the left, the communists, necessarily, whatever, the antifa. I'm just pointing to the same old energy wearing a different costume. It always wears different costumes throughout history. The energy, it'll put on anything. Sometimes it looks like square ass conservatives, sometimes it looks like George Bush, sometimes it's got pink fucking hair. But it's the same energy. And what is the energy? Well, I think the good bishop Baron, he painted a picture for us. You can go back and watch that podcast. I'd invite you to do it. It made a lot of people happy that I had a Catholic bishop on the show. Oh, they loved it. Go back and watch that. And he sort of broke down this concept of like, what are the names of the devil, the accuser, the divider. So anytime you find yourself being invited to reject, ostracize, divide, and that's not what I'm recommending now. I'm recommending that you sing your praises to whoever your God may be. Say it out loud. Hallelujah. I'm so happy to be alive. I've got my floppers and my hands, my legs, my cock, pussy, whatever you got going on down there, I can breathe. Say it out loud. Just say it out loud. And if the people around you are upset by your declarations of joy, by your declarations of well being, by your declarations of some hope for a better future, and you have to ask yourself, what dark spirit has gotten into these people? I don't think the spirit is them, by the way. I think it's like saying somebody who has leprosy is possessed, is just completely leprotic. Yeah, sure, their skin's boiled and blistered over and you don't want to get around them. It's contagious. But there's still a person in there. So the what if you could start investing without ever picking a single stock? With Stash, the experts handle the hard part for you. Stash isn't just another investing app. It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with expert guidance so you don't have to worry about figuring it out on your own. You can choose from personalized investments or let Stash's award winning smart portfolio do the work for you. With Stash, investing doesn't feel like gambling. It's simple, smart and stress free so your money can finally start working as hard as you do. Get access to world class financial advice with personalized guidance for just $3 monthly subscription. Stash has already helped millions Americans reach their financial goals. Don't let your money sit around. Put it to work with stash. Go to get.stash.com dunkin to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view important disclosures. That's get.stash.com Duncan paid non client endorsement not representative of all clients and not a guarantee. Investment Advisory services offered by Stash Investments llc, an SEC registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk offer a subject to tncs the Divine Spirit of Light came to me and showed me a path forward. These people need help. Triage some of them. Best most compassionate thing you can do is a temporary mute. They might need a few more incarnations, but some people, they're right there on the precipice of waking up, no longer living in the darkness. And you can do it. And I'll tell you how. Subscribe to this podcast. If we get more subscribers than Mr. Beast, and that's what the whole point of this rant was, if we can get more subscribers than Mr. Beast, then I will make enough money to blow up the fucking pyramids. The ultimate symbol of slavery in the world. No offense. Wait, the pyramids aren't in Saudi Arabia. We're gonna blow him up. That's the other thing the Divine Spirit showed me. He tasked me with a mission. How many other people have been tasked by a mission from the Lord and thought to themselves, I cannot do that, my Lord. I'm sure that when Noah was told to go build a boat, drunk old Noah, he said, I can't. I'm a drunk. God doesn't want to hear that. God sends you on a mission, that means it's accomplishable. And the mission the Lord has sent me on is to blow up the pyramids to get more subscribers than Mr. Beast. And to blow up the pyramids by removing the capstone, filling them with Mentos and Diet Pepsi. To the brim. To the brim. Talk to physicists. I know exactly how many Mentos it will take. I know exactly the amount of Diet Pepsi. I wanted to do Diet Coke, but the deal fell through. We're going to blow them to smithereens. There won't be anything there. Just the desert sand formerly tainted by those foul pyramids. There's been no upkeep on the pyramids. They're ruins. Literal ruins. I don't Want the children of the world to look at those things and say, that's a natural wonder of the great wonders. That's not a wonder. That's a. That's a. That's a Sheraton in some collapsed part of Detroit closed down long ago. That's a dead mall stinking up a city like some dog corpse left in a ditch. Gotta blow up the pyramids and I can't do it. You don't understand how expensive it is to buy the fucking pyramids, guys. I can't do it. So I need you to subscribe. I need you to like. I need you to become a member. I need those super chats. If you see a picture of the pyramids and you get the same feeling any normal healthy person does, which is a feeling of absolute dread and horror, then you should be compelled to participate in my noble crusade. Step one. I gotta get more subscribers than Mr. Beast. Some of you have been making zines. Some of you have been putting out flyers in your cities. Some of you have been using QR codes in on glory hole walls. I don't care what you're doing. Bring them here. Bring them to this oasis, this digital oasis. Bring them to this utopia. A seed is what you can call the dtfh. A seed of glory. It's been called that by the New Yorker. If we plant this digital seed in the minds of our fellow brothers and sisters, it will grow. It will grow into a glorious tree. And the fruit it will bear is a fruit that will have no pyramids on it. And that's all Earth is. A beautiful cosmic apple floating in infinity. Beautiful apple. And would you want to bite into an apple if it had a spiky fucking pyramid on it that could break your teeth right out of your head? We must destroy the pyramids. And I can't get there without you. And do you really want to look at your grandchildren? You want to see your grandchildren? You want to look into their eyes and tell them you had a chance to destroy the pyramids and you blew it? I don't and I don't see myself as the only one tasked with this mission. Every single one of you listening is part of it. Every single one of you listening by proxy. Been contacted by the Silver angel that comes to me when I avoid sleep for a few nights. You don't have to do what I do to see the Silver Angel. You don't have to drink coffee all night long. Snort rails of various amphetamines. You don't have to masturbate yourself awake. Let me do that for you. Let me do that for you. You don't have to bear the beauty of that silver angel when she appears in her blinding radiance and it is blinded. Let me do that for you. But once you've heard this message, you choose to not subscribe, not click that, like button, not become a member, then I'm afraid you will join a sad group of people. Sad group of people. There were people who were around Hitler and they thought, push him over that cliff.

Narrator/Voice Actor (19:57)

They didn't.

Duncan Trussell (19:58)

I don't want to feel like that. Do you want to feel like that? I now want to play something for you guys. This is really. I'm very excited about this. I'm going to. I've got a few things cooking right now. I'm gonna reveal one of them right now. I'm gonna do another podcast and it's gonna be like, well, you know what it's called. I'm just gonna play it for you and I love to know your thoughts on it. Do know this is a work in progress, but I'm gonna play you episode one of me.

Josh Funn (20:41)

I go.

Duncan Trussell (20:44)

What?

Josh Funn (20:45)

I play?

Duncan Trussell (20:46)

Yeah, go ahead and play it. Thanks, Josh. Thanks.

Narrator/Voice Actor (20:48)

It's been a hot week in Meat Canyon, the town I come from. Usually it starts cooling off this time of year, but when I look back, I can't remember a September when it actually did cool off. Summer loves Meat Canyon with the passion of a friend zoned cuck lingering too long in the apartment of his muse, even though he knows she was just banged down earlier that afternoon by a man with calf muscles bigger than his chest. He lingers longer than he should. The pumpkin patches have started springing up as though to remind Summer it's time to call an Uber, head back to its sublet and furiously masturbate alone. You see the children of Meat Canyon picking out their pumpkins with sweaty fingers. These pumpkins will not make it anywhere close to Halloween. They will melt and become infested with flies. They will leave crusty rings behind after they are thrown into the garbage. These rings will remind the children that sometimes things remain. One pumpkin ring that Meat Canyon can't seem to scrub away is the murder of Chad Haldrin, the former quarterback of Meat Canyon High, a 16 year old who had achieved the transient God status that can only be achieved in closed ecosystems. Had he managed to stay alive past graduation, he no doubt would have smashed into the windshield of reality, all of his glory wiped away by the windshield of time. There's a saying in Meat Canyon Gossip calls the Clowns. Some will tell you this saying has its roots in the circus catastrophe of 1875. In 1875, a traveling circus came to meet Canyon and set their big top up in a field offered to them by a bean farmer who had lost most of his harvest to blight, flies and drought. Allegedly, the Circus offered him $25 and Front Row seats to any and all of the shows. He took them up on this offer, and even after the horrible events of that late summer day, he still said that it was a beautiful thing to watch. How quickly the carnies put up that tent. It was like watching a flower bloom, he would say before bursting into tears. This weeping farmer was Elverd Brimley. He had found his way to meet Canyon in the usual way. A series of wrong turns and unhappy accidents, jail time, divorce, failed business ventures, and bankruptcy forced him to set off in search of a new life, a new identity. When he got to meet Canyon, he traded his golden wedding band to the former owner of the foul plot that he named Brimley Meadows. But whatever that land was, it was about as far away from being a meadow as hell is from heaven. The whole place festered with flies and thorns, and for some reason, it was the place that stray animals would go to die. He spent his first year pulling back the thorns and said he found the skeletons of at least a hundred dogs and cats. Maybe all of Brimley's past mistakes had inspired him to actually work. And work he did. He beat that wilted acreage into submission and even managed to turn a meager profit on his first crop of lima beans. And then drought came and his land dried up. Until that fateful day when the Royal Williams Circus showed up. Those who attended the circus's opening night said they saw Brimley seated in the very front row wearing the only suit he ever owned, the same suit he wore to his wedding. He seemed proud of himself. He had brought a circus to meet Canyon, the first circus that had ever been there. This is history in the making. He yelled out. All because of me. News traveled slowly back then, and meat Canyon didn't have a telegraph or any fancy amenities like that. Mail would only show up to town twice a week and take another day or two to be delivered. This is why no one had heard about the lunatics who had escaped from the Torrance Home for Maniacs, a mental hospital that had been so chock full of psychos and killers that there was nothing they could do. When the loons rose up against the nursing staff and guards, burnt the mental asylum down and vanished into the surrounding forest. For some reason, these maniacs did not scatter out as one might expect. But stuck together. A raving militia that, though comprised of broken mines, moved with surprising speed through that forest. And managed to cover its tracks up enough that even sniffer dogs lost their trail. The success of their party is attributed to Colonel Watford Glenn. Colonel Glenn had fought for the south during the Civil War. And had been captured by the Pecksahu Clunts. A feral, violent tribe of Indians that took great pleasure in torturing those who had invaded their land. Supposedly, they buried him up to his neck in a hole filled with human excrement and honey. A punishment they called kriega Swoo. Swoop. The shit and the honey attracted ground hornets and parasitic worms to the hole. And sometimes it would take days until their victim perished. But Colonel Glen did not perish. Somehow he managed to break free of the leather bands that tied his wrists together. He had been in that hole for two days. His whole body had become a nest for flies that had chewed into his skin and laid their eggs. Not only did he climb out of that hole. Covered in pus filled cysts wriggling with larva, but he snuck into the Cluntz village. And using a river stone, he beat all but their chief to death. Somehow, even in his diseased state, he managed to drag the chief to the very hole they had buried him in. And freshened it up with his own malarial expungements. They say he sat next to the chief for three days. Raving and laughing as the groundworms did their work. The Colonel wandered into the small town of Mechlin three days later. Raving about what had happened. Raving about how he had been helped by clowns. There was nothing to do but commit him to the Torrance Asylum. And he spent years in that place. Hooting out his window in strange, guttural bursts. Warning anyone who would listen that he would be rescued by my clowns. The Colonel and his band of maniacs had come upon a traveling circus. And had murdered the entire bunch. And buried their bodies in the very place they had been camping. This pseudo circus managed to travel 50 miles without raising any suspicion. After all, it was a circus. And everyone knows that circus people are strange. Meat Canyon was the first stop of this circus's tour. And that opening night is still talked about in late September. In Meat Canyon, they call it the Night of the Clowns. They say that things began to go south When a performer dressed what some thought was a Jesus costume, opened the cage of a malnourished lion, locked himself in with an iron padlock and in front of the horrified crowd, gleefully swallowed the key. The lion seemed so stunned that it remained completely motionless to the point that some thought it was a fake. But the illusion was broken when it began mauling our saviour, who remained completely silent as the lion ripped open his stomach and devoured his entrails. They say you could hear the key that had only just made its way into his digestive system clink onto the bars of the cage. That was when the screaming started. A lunatic clown, wearing a golden crown and nothing else, crawled under the lion cage, found the bloody key and freed that lion from its cage. The creature, no doubt driven mad from years of imprisonment, bolted into the audience as it chewed arms from torsos and heads from necks. But the lion was the least dangerous thing in that cursed big top. The maniacs, now dressed in circus wear, some as clowns, some as acrobats, some wearing glittering, sequined, encrusted tutus, fell upon the audience, and using only their teeth and hands, they beat and bit the residents of Meat Canyon until the dead, dry earth of Brimley Meadows was softened by a rain of blood. During this carnage, Colonel Glen blew a silver trumpet, sounding out melodies he had learned during his time as a soldier. He would stop only to gibber out, my friends will come now. My friends will take me home. By some stroke of sheer luck, a group of hunters had been camping in the forest that surrounded Brimley's farm. Drawn by the screams and that horrible bugle, they were able to shoot the lunatics and that wretched lion.

Duncan Trussell (30:38)

That's part one of Meat Canyon. What do you guys think? I'm gonna make more. I wanna make a series, and I'm thinking outside of. I don't know, I kind of just wanna upload it and just not even attribute myself to it. Just see what happens. I've been listening to. What's that spooky one called, man? Oh, God, there's so many murder shows out there. What's it fucking called? It's the Murder show, damn it. He lives in Austin. God damn it. Hold on, I'll look it up. Maybe it's in my itunes. Friends. Listen, I don't know if you've noticed this at gas stations. It's very odd to see, like, a chevron selling psychedelics. I never thought that would happen, and I'm going to admit, I've been taken in not just by the psychedelics, but by the boner pills. At gas stations, Took a fucking boner pill from a gas station, had a headache for two days, tried some of these Amanita gummies you get at gas stations and just. It was horrible. I felt like I was in a David lynch film. It was fucking terrible, a disaster, in fact. Don't buy your mushrooms from gas stations, gang. You don't need to, you don't want to. You don't know what the fuck's in there. But you do know what is in the Amanita muscaria gummies provided to you by the alchemical wizards at Minnesota Nice. Their Amanita products aren't made with mystery powder. They're made with properly decarbed lab tested extract that preserves the mushroom's full alkaloid spectrum. When I tried their chocolate and gummies, it was the complete opposite of that gas station nightmare. Calming, dream enhancing, introspective and safe. A true ally, not a roulette spin. And here's the thing, they offer it in several forms. Gummies, tinctures, capsules, coffee, and they even sell the raw caps themselves which are extremely affordable for the average bear. So don't play pharmacological roulette at your local chevron. Go to the pioneers. Go to the people who actually care. Head over to www. M N I C E-E-T-H-N O.com Duncan. That's mnicethno.com Duncan. Use code DUNCAN22 for 22% off your first order. Start with the Amanita muscaria capsules. Toss in some blue lotus gummies and experience what these plants and fungi are really about. That's M N I C E-E-T-H-N O.com Duncan. Code Duncan 22. Skip the sketchy gas station gummies and step into the real magic. Much love, my friends de la Follette. I wrote it. I didn't use any AI. I don't use AI to write. It's not there yet. I don't know, maybe the new iteration of GPT5, but I mean, I like writing. I don't want to fucking give that to an AI to enjoy. It's fun to write. And that voice, that AI voice is Burt Reynolds. And I think I'm gonna have to change it because 11Labs gives you access to it, but I don't think you can like use it commercially. So I probably have to change it to a different voice, which sucks because that's the perfect voice for that. I did write a King diamond eye. I did write that spinout asks what drug inspires the 10% consist 5 minutes. Self banned for being a nerd. Are you fucking serious? Come on, spin out. You're better than that. Climb out of that old fucking stinky old hole. You don't have to be there anymore. Jesus Christ.

Josh Funn (35:00)

You had a few super chats.

Duncan Trussell (35:01)

Let's read them. And then I gotta go. I'm about to. Well, I have 20 minutes. I'm doing a podcast with Raghu Marcus, part three in my hope Corps series that I'm doing post Charlie Kirk assassination during this wild time. This is a wild time. It's different from other wild times. Hello, Duncan. Thank you for everything. I'm trying to start a nonprofit baker guild, but I'm scared of my free hippie nature will be taken advantage of. Interesting. Well, I mean, look, you gotta. I won't go too far into it, but check out Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. Chogyam Trunga Rinpoche. He has a lot to say about compassion versus idiot compassion. And there's a distinction he draws between actual compassion and the thing where you trick yourself into thinking you're being compassionate when generally there's some cowardice, some irrational stuff going on there. It's not precise. And so the hippie nature that you speak of, I understand very well, but unfortunately, that if you're not careful, can lead you into becoming a rube. You don't want to be a rube, so you have to gain some discernment. Meaning that, King. You can't destroy your own business via some irresponsible conceptualization of how to run a nonprofit baking guild, which already sounds wild, wildly complex. And I mean that. I'm not being sarcastic, but just go for it. I mean, really, the worst case is your generosity fucks you up. And if your own generosity fucks up your life, then actually your life has gotten better because you've probably gained wisdom in the process. So the next time you start the nonprofit baking guild, you'll learn from your mistakes. Dust yourself. Dust all that baking powder off and start over again. Keep doing it until it works. That is coming from someone with a BA in psychology. So I know what I'm talking about when it comes to business. Yeah, I did see that. Andy Wright. And Andy Wright is asking about Reddit Thermal World. Why don't we just quickly visit that right now? Because last time we didn't. Reddit.comr thermal thermal world. Come on. You trolling me? Oh, wait, you're trolling me. Is this the most brilliant troll of our time? Oh, Thermail Thermal World. Okay, I gotcha. Dude, you could have kept this up forever by giving me a fake Reddit and super chatting me and trying to pull it up. I would have done it for a year. Okay, Thermal World.

Josh Funn (38:14)

Oh, he messed up. He put on there. Ah, no, it's the Maw World.

Duncan Trussell (38:19)

Oh, the Mall World. Okay, okay. Damn it. I really didn't want it to work. The Maw. The Maw World. The Maw World. The Maw World. Is this gonna be all the people sucking each other? Because that would have been awesome too. Mall World is a higher dimensional projection of humanity's collective unconsciousness and can be imagined. Oh, shit, this is creepy. Oh, no, I've been to Mall World. I know this place. Did you mention this shit because. Did you mention this because you've heard me talk about it before? This legitimately creeps me out. Have you ever had the dream of the great the Mall? Josh, you ever been there? To Mall World?

Josh Funn (39:09)

No. What is it?

Duncan Trussell (39:10)

Look, let me see if I can find it real quick. Actually, it inspired a song. I think I've played it on the podcast before, but I'll send it to Josh. Mall World. I didn't realize this was a collective dream. Let me see if I can find it because I made a whole song about it. That's so cool you're mentioning it. Guys, go to themallworld.com while I sort of look around in my computer for this, which I probably won't be able to find as most things that I attempt to show you guys making me seem like the old man that I am, made a song called Dead Mall with AI. But the problem is when I make stuff, I don't name it that.

Josh Funn (40:05)

Is this it?

Duncan Trussell (40:07)

What? Yeah, that's it. The Mall World. It's really weird because I've been to the. I know exactly this place, and I know that sounds absolutely fucking nuts.

Josh Funn (40:18)

Well, it's in Canada.

Duncan Trussell (40:20)

No, they don't mean literal Mall World. That's real Mall World. They're saying that a lot of people have this dream, this fucking mall, and I believe that's what he's talking about. Let me do it one more time, see if I can find Dead Mall. I don't know where I put it is the problem. It's definitely not gonna be in music and songs.

Josh Funn (40:40)

Have you ever walked through a dead mall?

Duncan Trussell (40:41)

Yeah, absolutely. I love doing that. If I go to a town where there's a dead mall, I almost always go. I fucking love it. It's the coolest thing ever. Search one more time here. I live by one dude, isn't it fucked up?

Josh Funn (40:58)

It's weird. They got. They have one that's like a carnival game where you just go in there and you can shoot these little pellets that.

Duncan Trussell (41:04)

I'm like, why do they have a.

Josh Funn (41:05)

Carnival game inside the mall? And then I look around like, oh, it's dead.

Duncan Trussell (41:08)

Yeah, dude. Yeah, maybe I put it in Donnie Rothschild. I'm just gonna look a little bit longer because it's so crazy. I wish I had more time. Damn.

Josh Funn (41:22)

They're still calling me Fake News.

Duncan Trussell (41:23)

Josh, don't. Enough with a fucking nickname. Bullying fucks fucking your shitty nicknames. What do they call you? Fake News.

Josh Funn (41:36)

You're the one that coined me Fake News.

Duncan Trussell (41:42)

Do as I say, not as I do.

Ryan Seacrest (41:45)

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Duncan Trussell (42:15)

I'm looking right now. I'm only going to look in one more place. I'm giving, giving up. But it's so good. It's so weird. I cannot wait to spend some time in this subreddit.

Josh Funn (42:26)

Dr. Steve Moriale. I think that's how you say his name. Just gave you 50 bucks.

Duncan Trussell (42:30)

What?

Josh Funn (42:31)

Thanks for being awesome.

Duncan Trussell (42:32)

He says, oh, thank you, doctor. Thank you. My God, that is so generous. Thank you so much. That is amazing, unnecessary and glorious. And I tell you, doctor, I tell you, we'll etch your name on one of the bricks of the pyramid before we blow it up. Write his name down. Write his name down. Josh.

Josh Funn (42:52)

Got it.

Duncan Trussell (42:53)

All right. I can't find it. I'll play it in another podcast, but thank you for that. And thank you for, like, actually investing in me finding that place. See you at Spy Split. Side Spy Splitters. Side Splitters. Doggeroni. See you there. Blee Blue says my album Things they don't teach you at school. Blee Blue has got an album called Things they don't teach you at school. I haven't listened to it. Could be good. Thank you, Andy Wright. We already did that. And Gabe, I can't wait. Salt Lake City wise guys at Salt Lake City is one of my favorite clubs, and I love Salt Lake City in general. It's just a cool place. I like visiting the temple, and I'm excited to do that. Thank you. Do we have any more super chats?

Josh Funn (43:40)

No.

Duncan Trussell (43:42)

Okay, great. Beautiful. Well, listen, friends, we have a little bit more time. I'm gonna ramble into the microphone while I look one more time for Dead Mal. And I, you know, I do have to say. I do have to say this. I'm a little disappointed in all of you because. Well, look, does anyone know what this hat is? Anyone? Anyone in the chat? Does anyone in the chat know what this hat is? Andy, I will. You do not have to keep paying for this. Thank you, Andy. Thank you. But please, I mean this from the depth of my heart.

Josh Funn (44:34)

Jacob Smith was the first one.

Duncan Trussell (44:36)

You got it? Jacob Smith. This is an official Palantir. And this, if you, you know, listen, you hear about soulmates, right? Like, you hear the term, and if you're in a cynical part of your life, you think it's bullshit. Especially these days. I know it's hard on the streets. In the streets of dating, as they call it in the Bruce Springsteen song, but. And I think the term soulmate is, like, it can be misconstrued as get along with mate. Or that if you find your soulmate, it's the instantaneous harmony. But. And I don't mean to, like, do this. I'm gonna do it, though. The person I'm married to is my soulmate. And an example of that is that while all this elephant graveyard shit was happening, do you know what she did? She went online and ordered me a palantir. How did I get so lucky? May you find someone like that May you find someone like that Someone so pregnant. So pregnant and still trolling that, friends, is perfection, you ask me. Proof of God's existence. Proof that it's possible, if it's possible for me to find someone like that. You can find someone like that, too. I promise you. Okay, I'm going to look one more time here, and then I'm gonna give up. It just really drive me crazy because I actually made. I think I made a video of this. Like, I made a fucking video. And yet, for some reason, I didn't save it. I didn't save it. Is anything related to dead moths? And, you know, I don't know if you ever wonder is this. This is some kind of psychological torture I'm doing to myself. I'm going to look up Dead Mall in my messages and then give up. I probably send it. I found it. I found it.

Josh Funn (47:09)

Airdrop it to me.

Duncan Trussell (47:10)

Hold on, let me make sure it works. You know what? You can play. We'll go out on this. You can play it. Put up the Vape Dog thing, Josh. I'm going to have to download it real quick. And I guess just play it with Vape Dog because I actually lost the idiot music video I made for it. But every once in a while, Suno AI, it makes a banger. I can't claim credit for this any more than I wrote the lyrics, but I couldn't believe it. Spit this out in like less than three minutes. Suno AI, if you're interested in fucking around with this dark technology, okay, I'm gonna share this with you now. Josh. Guys, I'm sorry for the short solo podcast. I do love doing these so much and I wasn't even gonna do it, but this week, but I miss you guys. I didn't want to miss a week without saying hi. So. Yeah, thank you. King Diamond. Like the stream. Can you.

Josh Funn (48:14)

Can you send it to my computer instead?

Duncan Trussell (48:16)

Oh, yeah. Sorry, Josh. Hold on. Here you go. Also, I want to invite you guys to not just do all the subscription capitalist bullshit, but I'd love for you, if you are interested in engaging with a very interesting group of people, to subscribe to the Duncan Trussell subreddit. Go in there and say hi and have fun. Okay? Yeah, just play that with Vape Dog. I wish you all the peace of the Lord Hare Krishna. Remember, now is the time to sing out, to declare we live in a beautiful world and human beings are fundamentally good. Let's go out on Dead Mall. Do you dream at all? The more of the days when children's laughter filled your glowing holes. Your dark dead mole holds forever. Dark dead mo Sam.

Ryan Seacrest (51:55)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Spooky season is quickly approaching, so time to stock up on all your favorite treats now through October 7th. You can get early savings on your Halloween candy favorites when you shop in store and online. Save on items like Hershey's, Reese's pumpkins, Snickers miniatures, Tootsie Rolls, raw sugar, milk chocolate, caramel, Jacko lanterns, Brock's Candy Corn Charms, Mini pops, and more. Offer ends October 7th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.