752: We Are The Mystery Boys? Kurt Metzger

Summary

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Duncan Trussell Family Hour Ep. 752 (May 15, 2026)

“We Are The Mystery Boys? Kurt Metzger”

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Episode Overview

In this mind-melting and riotously funny episode, Duncan Trussell welcomes comedian, writer, and frequent co-conspirator Kurt Metzger for a heady and hilarious journey down the wormhole of pop culture, occult history, conspiracy theory, and personal experience. Ostensibly, the episode celebrates the launch of Duncan and Kurt’s new podcast, “The Mystery Boys,” but quickly spirals into a free-association deep dive on everything from porn in the woods and American Apparel’s creepy legacy to occult magick, astral mall-worlds, and the pitfalls of democracy. The duo’s conversation is equal parts absurdity, cultural critique, magical history lesson, and surreal aural improv.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introducing “The Mystery Boys” Podcast

[00:00–03:53]; [29:08–30:35]; [107:02–107:47]

• Duncan and Kurt hype the debut of their wild new podcast, “The Mystery Boys,” set to premiere on YMH.

  • “The Mystery Boys: it’s about causing mysteries, not solving them. We’re not gonna do the work for you.” – Kurt Metzger [29:45]
  • The podcast will thrive on their chaotic energy and spiral into tangents.
  • They joke about logistical nightmares with “Butt magazine for Yemen” and riff on being “compromised.”

• Launch promo for “The Mystery Boys” includes recurring absurd fake ads, callbacks, and inside jokes.

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2. Butt Magazine, American Apparel, and Porn in the Woods

[05:52–16:25]

• Duncan gifts Kurt a copy of “Butt Magazine”—an erotica zine steeped in hipster nostalgia and American Apparel’s aesthetic.

  • “This is the kind of magazine you find walking in the woods with your grandpa—but when you’re both adults.” – Kurt Metzger [11:08]

• They recount the mid-2000s era of American Apparel’s risqué marketing, CEO Dov Charney’s scandals, and the brand’s collapse.

  • “He looks like, if you put nerd glasses on your penis, it would look like Dov Charney.” – Kurt [07:45]

• Riff on the urban legend of “porn in the woods,” how finding random stashes of pornography as kids became a rite of passage.

  • “It’s always been free. A gift of nature. Gift of the land. But why?” – Duncan [09:39]
  • “I think that’s how I came to view that pornography should be a free thing that is given to you by the woods.” – Kurt [09:32]

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3. Nazi Symbolism, Swastikas, and Appropriation

[19:13–22:27]

• Discussion of how Hitler “ruined” cultural symbols like the swastika (originally Hindu) and the toothbrush mustache.

  • “Hitler ruined the swastika and we need to reclaim it, you know?” – Duncan [20:11]

• Riffing on the Chase bank logo resembling a swastika, conspiracy speculation about secret symbolism.

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4. Occultism, Magic, and Secret Societies

[26:16–47:01]; [53:35–54:57]; [61:24–74:33]; [98:00–121:36]

a. Butt Magic, Occult Roots, and Aleister Crowley

• They joke about “the magic is in your butt,” referencing Crowley, Beauty and the Beast, and Stallone’s mother reading butts.
  • “Aleister Crowley once said, the magic is in your butt.” – Kurt [26:46]

b. Plasma-based Medicine and Blood Magic

• Kurt launches into a serious riff on the underreported use of donated blood in pharmaceuticals—“80% of the blood supply goes to… drugs.”
  • “Most people are now cannibals by default because… 80% of the blood supply of donated blood goes to pharmaceutical companies to make these drugs.” – Kurt [45:44]

c. “Compromised” society and the illusion of democracy

• Kurt and Duncan volley about the futility of US democracy, likening presidents to mascots or turkeys, ruled by a “four-class feudal system.”
  • “What you’re saying is… you don’t think we have a functional democracy?” – Duncan [33:01]
  • “We’ve never had that. And also, nobody does. We have feudalism.” – Kurt [33:10]

d. Occult Control, Reverse Magic, and Laughter

• Explores laughter as an antidote to hypnotic or magical influence; comedy as “reverse magic.”
  • “So I consider comedy to be a form of reverse magic. It’s literally a thing that dispels spells to me.” – Kurt [70:14]
  • Notes on humor breaking trance states, disrupting manipulation.

e. New Age Religion, The Nine, and the UN meditation room

• Kurt outlines history of “the Nine”—a supposed occult council inherited from Babylonian magicians, with Freemasonry links.

• Critiques “New Age” spirituality as mind-control for the elite:

  • “New Age… is pure right-brain. It is designed from top to bottom by hardcore Satanists.” – Kurt [83:34]

• Discussion winds into David Icke territory: the Chained Nine, alien contact, “black magicians,” and global energy harvesting.

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5. Hypnosis, Mind Control, and Subconscious Manipulation

[61:10–73:02]; [73:43–77:23]

• Masters of magic, intelligence, and psyops use trance states to manipulate populations. Laughter is a rescue mechanism.

  • “Magic is to force the executive brain offline… Laughter disrupts all of it at once.” – Kurt [74:23]
  • “The Church of Satan… their secret teaching is that human nature is programmability.” – Kurt [61:24]

• Dungeons & Dragons, memes, and “mass magical operations” are invoked as examples of sigil magic at scale.

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6. Secret Rituals, Astral Projection, and Mall-World Dreams

[99:02–106:54]

• Both share experiences with hyper-lucid, recurring “astral” dreams set in alternate cities, malls, and sewer realms.
  • “When you return to these places and it’s the same place… that’s a very strange thing.” – Kurt [100:53]
  • Duncan and Kurt retell nightmares with “beings in the muck” and the unsettlingly magnetic vibe of these astral localities.

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7. Religion, Occult Wars, and Social Dialectics

[53:35–59:41]; [94:03–98:09]; [117:18–120:34]

• Kurt charts how Catholicism, the occult, and Satanist groups have shaped cultural lore and social programming.

• Argues that humor, ridicule, and irreverence can protect against deeply embedded magical or propagandist spells.

  • “Joke writing… is a big… thing that I’m like, what’s the mechanics? So I like to know the purpose of everything because I don’t want to be cheated.” – Kurt [68:45]

• Debates connections between Kabbalah, Christianity, Noahide laws, and the control strategies of Chabad and “Babylonian black magicians.”

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8. Conspiracy Theories, the “Nine,” and Alien/UFO Lore

[77:14–121:36]

• The “Nine” are described as ancient Jewish and Babylonian occultist kingpins, their legacy echoed in UFO beliefs, secret societies, and contemporary politics.

  • “The Nine were a bunch of Zionist Babylonian black magicians… when you’re contacting them, I bet you’re contacting a bunch of old Jews from back in fucking… And that makes sense as to why there’s so much… all the UFO shit has Israeli stink all over it.” – Kurt [109:09]

• Duncan and Kurt connect UFOlogy, Israeli generals, secret “Galactic Federation” rumors, black magicians, and apocalyptic symbolism.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “This is America, dipshits. Who the fuck lives in this country is not compromised?” – Kurt [21:52]
• “I think that’s how I came to view that pornography should be a free thing given to you by the woods.” – Kurt [09:32]
• “Comedy is a form of reverse magic. It dispels spells.” – Kurt [70:14]
• “Hitler ruined the swastika and we need to reclaim it, you know?” – Duncan [20:11]
• “I have a feeling you, of all people, if anyone, are going to get pulled into a deep occult society.” – Duncan [46:43]
• “We’re all awash in the energy because the entire world is controlled by… the dragon. So there’s no way of—you’re not going to be drawn in.” – Kurt [51:01]
• “I had this feeling… like my soul was being pulled out of my butt.” – Kurt [102:24]
• “The Nine are a bunch of Zionist Babylonian black magicians… Herod Agrippa and his eight friends who invented the Masons.” – Kurt [107:30]
• “JFK died. It changed reality. After 9/11, everything changed. Remember that old fucking chestnut?… They altered reality.” – Kurt [115:32]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–03:53 | Welcome, intro, new “Mystery Boys” hype | | 05:52–16:25 | Butt Magazine, American Apparel, porn in the woods | | 19:13–22:27 | Nazi symbol appropriation, swastikas | | 26:16–27:15 | Butt magic, Aleister Crowley, occult jokes | | 29:08–30:35 | Launching “Mystery Boys,” causing vs. solving mysteries | | 33:01–34:12 | On “compromised” America and feudal democracy | | 45:44–46:10 | Plasma-based medicine & cannibalism in pharma | | 53:35–56:21 | Occultism, Catholicism, and monster movie lore | | 61:24–74:33 | Magic, hypnosis, laughter as “reverse magic” | | 77:14–83:04 | The Nine, Dr. Puharich, alien council, and New Age critique | | 94:03–98:09 | Domain expansion, “framing,” pickup artists, magical seduction | | 99:02–106:54| Astral travel, mall world dreams, recurring nightmare worlds | | 107:02–109:08| Who are “The Nine”; Babylonian black magic origins | | 117:18–120:34| Noahide laws, Christian Zionism, societal control | | 120:41–121:36| The Nine as “shattered dark gods,” impending global shift |

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Memorable Dynamics & Tone

• The language is irreverent, boundary-pushing, and full of surreal humor, madcap improvisation, and stoner logic.
• Tone zips between skeptical self-awareness, genuine paranoia, and tongue-in-cheek occult pontification.
• Both hosts riff, mock, and educate, often blurring lines between satire and belief.

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Summary for New Listeners:
This episode exemplifies Duncan and Kurt’s ability to explode the possibility space of a podcast. It’s weird, sprawling, conspiratorial, and disarmingly funny—driven by a sense of play and “reverse magick” as self-defense against the world’s spells and scams. If you enjoy wild riffs on esoteric lore, secret societies, pop-cultural decay, and cosmic pranksterism, this conversation is a high-concept, low-inhibition joyride.

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Listen for:

• The recurring theme that magic, hypnosis, and persuasion shape all culture (and comedy unbinds those spells)
• Kurt’s astonishing breadth of conspiracy and occult knowledge, delivered as one long fever-dream of connections
• The two comedians deploying humor as survival, revelation, and sometimes, a little cosmic mischief

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Next Episode:
Tune in for the public debut of “The Mystery Boys”—because, as they note, sometimes causing mysteries is the only sane response to the world’s madness.

Transcript

[Duncan Trussell]

Greetings to you, my friends. It is with great joy that I welcome you to these digital waters. Whether you're watching on YouTube or listening in your car, maybe on your commute. Maybe you're disposing a body. Maybe you're chasing someone disposing a body. You're a private detective out there on the beat and at last you're gonna bust the yellow Bellied Killer of Detroit. Maybe you are in some temple somewhere, a secret temple deep beneath the earth. Or maybe you're in an Amazon warehouse. Maybe you're trimming weed. Maybe you're smok. Maybe you're laying in your bed. Maybe you're in a coma, but you're not really in a coma. And somehow you're listening to this podcast because someone who's been sitting with you likes to listen to it and you maybe don't like it. I want to apologize to you. Come out of that coma. You could do it. Don't be a pussy. Just got to wiggle those toes. Whoever you may be, whatever you may be. Hyperdimensional entity. God. Godling. Or something unspeakable. I welcome you to the dtfh, the podcast that brings to you the most important minds of our time. Which is why it's with great joy that I welcome Kurt Metzger, who is not only my friend, but my partner. You got that right. Kurt and I are releasing a brand new podcast which you can find on ymh. Next Thursday, it premieres. The Mystery Boys At Last is here. Can you roll that clip, Josh? Next time on mystery boys. This is the Mystery Boys. We fucking. We tell the truth.

[Kurt Metzger]

She looks like Beautiful Woman, the bad guy from True Lies.

[Duncan Trussell]

That beautiful woman. A beautiful woman.

[Kurt Metzger]

Could you pull up?

[Duncan Trussell]

Let's show the next video. Beautiful Woman, please.

[Kurt Metzger]

Who wore it best?

[Duncan Trussell]

Beautiful Woman. Are we at the Brown Party? We must thank the great people who brought us MK Ultra and all the wonderful. Not just like, psychological technologies, the Nazis. What? Kurt. Kurt.

[Kurt Metzger]

And we're back.

[Duncan Trussell]

And again, you know, I don't want to get woke on everybody.

[Kurt Metzger]

Please, please don't. That is the last thing we need in this house.

[Duncan Trussell]

I want to get woke. Oh, not funny. And don't. This is not funny.

[Kurt Metzger]

J.D. vance. Oh, he's got a fat head.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm laughing so hard.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, yeah, there's really people that look like that.

[Duncan Trussell]

So this.

[Kurt Metzger]

What, do you want to live in some of these communist countries where they tell you what to do and think? Or do you want to live in a country that we, you know, they. You don't get to know that they're doing that to you and continuing until approximately 1970.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now, MK Ultra is very misunderstood. Nothing confidential.

[Kurt Metzger]

Some things I just like are for being you and not for like.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is what those kids smell when they open the wardrobe to Narnia.

[Kurt Metzger]

But I.

[Duncan Trussell]

From me, these boys. There it is, folks. The Mystery Boys. Tune in next Thursday on ymh. Now, before we get going with this very important podcast with Kurt Metzger, who, by the way, has his own podcast, Derp with kirp. Tune in and subscribe. Links are down below. I would be remiss if I did not thank our sponsors. A big thank you to ExpressVP and Quints in Minnesota Knights for supporting the DTFH. Don't forget to check them out the links down below. Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't plug my own shows this weekend. You can find me at the La Jolla Comedy Store. We've already sold out one of the shows for Friday, so make sure you get your tickets in advance for that one. After that, taking a little break. And then June 4th, I'm headed up to Charlotte, North Carolina, to the Comedy Zone. That's June 4th, 5th, and 6th. Can't wait to go. And then finally, not finally, I've got a lot more shows. You can find me at the Orange Peel in Asheville, North Carolina. Just after that, one of my favorite clubs, zanies in Nashville. June 25th to the 26th. And then the very next day, I'm headed up to Boston to perform at the Wilbur. Lots of [e-mail]. what am I doing? Plugging stuff. Am I compromised? We'll find out right now on this episode of the DTFH. Welcome back, Mr. Metzger. It's so wonderful to see you and it's exciting. We're gonna announce some big news. It's coming. But first, I don't do this enough for my guests and certainly not enough for you. I got you a gift.

[Kurt Metzger]

Really?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yep.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let me put on my sunglasses for it.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think you're gonna like this, dude. I put a lot of thought into it. Getting a gift for somebody like you is not easy. They're like, what? What can you get for somebody?

[Kurt Metzger]

Whoa. Got me drugs?

[Duncan Trussell]

No.

[Kurt Metzger]

Because it is easy.

[Duncan Trussell]

I got you one of my favorite magazines.

[Kurt Metzger]

Whoa. What is it? But now it's great. Now I'm glad. It's amazing that you got this.

[Duncan Trussell]

But magazine. I don't know if we can show that or not, but you might.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, boy, I have it. I haven't cracked Open one of these in a long time. Oh, wait, that's. Hey, that's the front. Hey, where's his butt? Blue jean commercial.

[Duncan Trussell]

There you go. There's a butt for you. This butt magazine is filled with butts. Guys, I'm not sponsored yet by Butt magazine, okay? So as you recall, Butt magazine is.

[Kurt Metzger]

Boy, am I glad you brought a butt magazine, okay? Because as you. I'm sure you recall, this was. This hurts. It was prominently featured in American Apparel. Now, American Apparel was that. That. Remember that? I see all my shirts from there because I like, just like, you know, shirt. Oh, yeah, now I gotta order them. I don't remember even where I ordered just shirt from. But anyway, they would prominently display butt magazine. And for my SNL submission.

[Duncan Trussell]

God, about that.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's the reason I know about.

[Duncan Trussell]

I was familiar with this because I saw American Apparel.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, look at this. This is somebody's pee Paw. Anyway, I did a submission for SNL where I had. Because I saw Fred Armisen do an impression of Dove Charney, the CEO. Yeah, dude, can you put a picture of Dove Charney?

[Duncan Trussell]

People of Dove Charney. He kind of went nuts documentary.

[Kurt Metzger]

He looks like, if you put, like, nerd glasses on your penis, it would look like Dove Charney, wasn't it? But you guys see my glasses? Have you seen my glasses? Like, oh, he looks like my coc. Somehow.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dove Charney. Have you seen what house he. Look up? Dove Charney's house. You seen this mansion he lives in? He lives in this mansion.

[Kurt Metzger]

Hey, y', all, look at those glasses with his fucking.

[Duncan Trussell]

The heart of Silver Lake. Can you pull up Dove Charney's mansion? Look at this amazing place this dude lives in. He figured it out. Look at that. Right on top of Silver Lake Overlook. If you're ever walking around Silver Lake, Dove Charney's probably watching you with binoculars.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wonder what Milo Yiannopoulos has to do with Silver Lake compounds anyway?

[Duncan Trussell]

Is that. Oh, my gosh, look. It's called the Garbutt House. Pull it up. That's where he lives, the Garbutt House. Now that's a coincidence. Look.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, is that what Butt magazine is named after? Because that's clever.

[Duncan Trussell]

See, that is insane that he lives in a butt house.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let's get a full subscription to the Los Angeles Times.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's the saddest thing. Every time they ask for your subs, he's like, yeah, I'll subscribe.

[Kurt Metzger]

How do you. I hope the CIA pays you or something, because how do you.

[Duncan Trussell]

How do they make money?

[Kurt Metzger]

How do Pornographers make money. I always wonder because I've never paid for porn in my entire life.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, I do wonder. That. Isn't that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Or books of matches. Yeah, that's what I give you porn. I'm like, I'm not paying. I'll just.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. You.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think we used to get in the woods. Everybody knows over a certain age, you walk in the woods, always there, one friend has a dirt bike or some shit. You go in the woods. Oh, there's a big stack of porn that Johnny Porno Seed left for all of us.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's your theory on that?

[Kurt Metzger]

The movie Stand By Me was about them finding a stash of nudie mags.

[Duncan Trussell]

But what's your.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, Stephen King had to make it a dead girl because he's from Maine and he's got. I don't know. He grew up somewhere bad.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, but in the woods. Like, I think that's how I came to view that pornography should be a free thing that is given to you by the woods.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's always been free. A gift of nature. Gift of the land. But why?

[Kurt Metzger]

We hunted our own porn like the mighty and Chumash Indian of. Of.

[Duncan Trussell]

But why?

[Kurt Metzger]

I sense pornography.

[Duncan Trussell]

Why. Why though? Where. What. What do. What is your theory?

[Kurt Metzger]

Some guy had to go in the woods.

[Duncan Trussell]

And why?

[Kurt Metzger]

Before man caves were invented, you had to go.

[Duncan Trussell]

Come on, that can't be it. There's so many places to jerk off the porn you didn't have to go because when we.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's called paying it forward. Oh, I guess it's based on two movies.

[Duncan Trussell]

We would find it deep in the woods. Though it wasn't because, like, if I'm wanting to jerk off, I'm not gonna hike two miles into the W. Let's

[Kurt Metzger]

say that if you. It was a trick pile of porn and you had some fishing line attached to it, we would have been caught in your Bigfoot boy eating pervert trap. Sure.

[Duncan Trussell]

What? It's. I, you know, I've always thought it's.

[Kurt Metzger]

If you're suggesting Dog man would lure. Put a lure on the end of a. I haven't seen that. 4 Chan Dogman in a woods encounter.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is the skinwalkers out there leaving porn to trap kids.

[Kurt Metzger]

So I'm gonna forget. I'm gonna forget this. Wait, so will you put. I bet you're not even allowed to fucking show it, are you?

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Kurt Metzger]

It's Fred Armisen doing Dove Charney on

[Duncan Trussell]

Not allowed to show it. No, we can watch it. Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Does you understand Why I know. This is the riveting story of why I know all about Butt magazine.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is great.

[Kurt Metzger]

I was not surprised by. But I've encountered butt before. Don't you know?

[Duncan Trussell]

When I got this for you, I knew I'd seen it somewhere.

[Kurt Metzger]

Now this is the kind of magazine you find walking in the woods with your grandpa. Yeah, but when you're both adults.

[Duncan Trussell]

But cut right to the chase, Grandpa,

[Kurt Metzger]

what is that but magazine?

[Duncan Trussell]

What's the sketch called?

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. Fred Ormondson Dove Charney. Yeah. And because I. It's pretty funny. Where is he? Do they even have it?

[Duncan Trussell]

They wiped it.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's. It was on news on SNL News.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is that it?

[Kurt Metzger]

What the fuck?

[Duncan Trussell]

Now it's. It's wiped. It got memory hold.

[Kurt Metzger]

It was pretty funny, man. He had these stupid glasses. Like, it's about boobs and butts and hair, body hair all over the place. Like,

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't see it.

[Kurt Metzger]

All right, well, whatever. I wrote it at the time when he was on early on. He's only a while I was doing the submission. So I. I had it where Dov Charney is doing a secret shop or American Apparel to make sure that the butt magazines are being displayed prominently and properly. Because when I would go, I would go to Megan Apparel and be like, I just see butt.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like they're really pushing butt at this clothing store of plain T shirts.

[Duncan Trussell]

Those dirty American Apparel models are so hot. Pull up like an old American Apparel ad. Remember those? Like the billboards?

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, because you go in the dressing room and it would be like the ads are polaroids of like in the style of Hustler's Beaver Hunt.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, am I supposed to jerk off here? Am I supposed to jerk off there? First of all, who's gonna wear a fuchsia now do like an image. That is a mop up shirt.

[Duncan Trussell]

Do an image search. American Apparel ad billboard.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look at this. This is how we dress before we knew Pizza gate was real.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Oh, look, look. Oh my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. So this would be. This would be all up in the stock. This would be in all the dressing rooms. Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, it was this kind of like filthy hipster like.

[Kurt Metzger]

And see how he looked?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah. He's just. And he was banging everybody like he was on a non stop fuck rampage through everywhere. Yeah, I bet he couldn't stop.

[Kurt Metzger]

Dude, look at his mustache.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's a fucking.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let me tell you something. If you were around back then, what would you say the height of this is? Like 2000 fucking.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is that real? That's not real. 2007 happy as Sid Stars in American Apparel ad. No. Well, I'll be damned.

[Kurt Metzger]

Mattis Netanyahu.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look. What the.

[Kurt Metzger]

America A Peasant with chutzpah. Never heard of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

What is it? Hoots Hood spot. Click on the one with the bubble gum. That ad there. The bubble gum. Blowing bubble gum. Just. Oh, yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Imagine you're just like. Thrust and she blows bubbles. That's a whole art project.

[Duncan Trussell]

So look incredible.

[Kurt Metzger]

But magazine was about.

[Duncan Trussell]

Tell me.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't know. I never opened it. I just couldn't believe there's a magazine called I never, like I said, never cracked open a copy of Butt.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'll read some stuff out of here. Pussy Expert speaks out.

[Kurt Metzger]

What?

[Duncan Trussell]

Thomas Satterwhite got my email. Has mastered the vaginal art. The 47 year old professional is a go to. This is someone who does pussy updates.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, finish the sentence. What's the pussy update?

[Duncan Trussell]

He. It's just plastic.

[Kurt Metzger]

So is this. Wait, is this magazine written by people's genitals for the. And it's not even for you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, I just stick it down my pants. Hey, you're a copy of Butts here.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is terrible. Don't show this. I'm gonna show this. This won't be on camera.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, where did you get a copy?

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck? It's scary. It's scary. It has a. It smacks of crunch.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, give me another hit of that.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's like Dateline. This is like right before a murder photo.

[Kurt Metzger]

Give me another hit of that other one. I hate it.

[Duncan Trussell]

But like.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, it's like smelling salts.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, that's got. You can't show my angle, dude, because it's pornographic. Does that. That looks like Shelley Duvall. That looks like the Shining. That looks like Shelley Duvall blowing someone in the Overlook Hotel.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wow.

[Duncan Trussell]

Jeez. And this guy's like, you don't want to run into that dude in the fucking woods. That is terrifying. You are fucked.

[Kurt Metzger]

Imagine, instead of pornography, is that. Who leaves porn in the woods? That

[Duncan Trussell]

we can shout. Hold on, there's a way. Wait. Hello, Larry. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is that the Fay Fog I did? No, I saw. You didn't notice that Aaron Paul here had a. Were you looking at his watch? This guy's got a great watch.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is the dude. This is the guy who's been leaving porn in the woods. We found it. Wow. Here, look. You could show this, right, Josh?

[Kurt Metzger]

There he is.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, man. If you've ever found porn in the

[Kurt Metzger]

woods as a child, the kid from the movie Mud. If you saw that with Matthew McGonagall,

[Duncan Trussell]

the greatest picture I ever saw. We love you, Butt magazine. Sponsor the podcast, please.

[Kurt Metzger]

Sponsored by Butt Spot, the Doug and

[Duncan Trussell]

Dressel family, but unofficially brought to you by Butt magazine, the number one magazine for you. I don't know if we can even.

[Kurt Metzger]

But how did. Let me ask you this. Wow. How did American Apparel got a business if they had such a lucrative Butt magazine tie in?

[Duncan Trussell]

How did they go out of business? Can you look that up, Josh, what happened? Because everybody was wearing. You're still wearing it. I got.

[Kurt Metzger]

I would go in there versus somebody filling the void left in the market. I haven't bought any Deep. Remember. Remember Deep V necks.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, the worst. That pissed me off. Several financial. Severe financial mismanagement, high debt, mounting losses, and scandalous sexual harassment allegations against founder Dove Charney. But I think Charney's doing good now. Can you look up what Dove Charney's up to? I think he's like. I saw in the documentary, landed on his feet.

[Kurt Metzger]

Did he? That's a surprise.

[Duncan Trussell]

He landed on his feet. He's doing fine. Is currently running his. Los Angeles apparel, which he founded. Yeah. The company focuses on. Yeah. It's still out there.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's the same shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Partnership with Yeezy. Look at that. Partner with Kanye West. Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

When was that? Ever since Kanye apologized to the Jews.

[Duncan Trussell]

It was either right after he apologized or he partnered with him right before he became anti Semitic.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Because there's a lot of, like, could

[Duncan Trussell]

have inspired the whole.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like. It's like, first of all, if you want to be anti Semitic, you're like, well, now you got to go to only Chinese jewelers.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

And if you thought. If you thought the Jews were funny with your money, go to the Chinese jewelers.

[Duncan Trussell]

I've never even been to a Chinese jeweler. I didn't even know that happened a lot.

[Kurt Metzger]

Because in hip hop, a lot of like, hey, I think they're stealing from us over here. And what. So they would go to. You saw the movie Uncut Johns?

[Duncan Trussell]

I never saw it.

[Kurt Metzger]

It was about uncut. Uncut gems pretty much covered the whole.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, he's working with Kanye. Look at that. Kanye's always on the cutting edge. So Charney's doing great.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, this is 2,023. Oh, wait. His Jewish business party refuses to. Let's see if he was like, I'm not gonna break up with him. Go ahead and see that. I want to know if. I want to know if he, like, was like, ah, boo.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, fuck. See that? Yeah, that's tough right there.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yo.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's tough right there.

[Kurt Metzger]

He will not be hit with legal repercussions from a Super bowl ad promoting his. Remember when he saw the super bowl

[Duncan Trussell]

swazi T. I didn't know. I didn't notice that in the super bowl ad. I saw the thing he did on his phone, but I didn't know Kanye West.

[Kurt Metzger]

Was that what it. Yo, that's very close to my fucking. You're welcome for my service. AI COUNTRY song the Blur. It's a cowboy with just that shirt, no pants.

[Duncan Trussell]

See, that shirt is what they need to be selling is that Blur shirt. That would be a cool design. Is that out there? It's gotta be out there already, right?

[Kurt Metzger]

That is a good, cool design.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's a cool design. Can you pull up Hindu swastika? Because I just want to speak like, this is one of the many things. Hitler fucking ruined the mustache and the swastika. Pull this up. See? Do an image search. Look at this, guys. This is an ancient symbol.

[Kurt Metzger]

That doesn't look like the.

[Duncan Trussell]

Talk about cultural appropriation. This fucking German piece of shit grabs this symbol. That was.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's my favorite one. Look at that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look at this bullshit. Didn't these fuckers turn it. This guy's got it painted on his head. Pull that up. This is not a Nazi, you know.

[Kurt Metzger]

Neo Nazism is a real problem in the world, isn't it? I. I didn't believe anti Semitism was so on the rise. But why would this guy.

[Duncan Trussell]

See, That's a Hindu.

[Kurt Metzger]

Why does some Hindu have a problem with the Jews?

[Duncan Trussell]

He doesn't have a problem. It doesn't add up. Look, pull up the swastika pictures. Look, you've got.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look at the Aztec one.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up that one. The. That one right there. Look, pull this up. I mean, I'm not like. There's a lot.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, I know all this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Christians. Well, the Christian swastika.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Pull up the Chase Bank.

[Duncan Trussell]

Swastika, Tibetan swastika. Chase Bank, Islamic swastika. All I'm saying is Hitler ruined the swastika and we need to reclaim it, you know?

[Kurt Metzger]

No, I say let it go.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let it go.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's. Now there's a Swahasi. Oh, that there's a nice one. See, look at the Chases. Now, if you look at the Process Church.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up the Process Church swastik.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's the closest one to the Chase bank. And it's a negative color. No, I didn't realize. Chase Bank. There you go. See that? So it's a negative inverted one. I have them together on my phone.

[Duncan Trussell]

How about that Chase bank logo again?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, we got to look at them together a little bit. You see what the. The blue one? Yeah. Okay. Go the process.

[Duncan Trussell]

That Camp Chase bank is not like Hindu.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, they might. A lot of Indians are a lot of these H1BVs ever.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is really curious, man. That's really why a bank.

[Kurt Metzger]

One of the most evil banks that

[Duncan Trussell]

you know, by the way.

[Kurt Metzger]

I just want to point out that that bank, Chase bank, that stopped working with Kanye because they couldn't support his anti Semitism. The bank with the Epstein island rotating cast of friends. That bank.

[Duncan Trussell]

You got to wait. I'm sorry. This is one of these things. I love being your friend because I learned all these things. I should already know this.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is why you're compromised because you didn't already know.

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude, I'm. Do you know I got re. Compromised.

[Kurt Metzger]

How was it? But magazine.

[Duncan Trussell]

What? Yeah, no, they know how to.

[Kurt Metzger]

They know how to get to you.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, no, no. I'm. I'm actually multiple. I'm multi hyphenate compromise. I've been compromised by several things. I've been finding out.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is America, dipshits. Who the fuck lives in this country is not compromised? What do you think this country is the country of not compromised?

[Duncan Trussell]

I would say a lot of the

[Kurt Metzger]

people with the fucking devil.

[Duncan Trussell]

I assume the people accusing me of being compromised are not compromised. They all seem fine, dude.

[Kurt Metzger]

They're compromised in the. I have yet to hear someone who. Because anybody that would like, know anything would hardly be focused on you that way. Or for example, Rogan, which on Jimmy Dore we were trashing Zach Galifianakis for his dumb shit because he went on and complained about. You know. They also think Joe got Trump elected.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah, 100% they blame Joe.

[Kurt Metzger]

All of them.

[Duncan Trussell]

This episode of the DTFH has been supported by my friends at Express vpn. The other day, I was at a Starbucks. I know that's kind of a flex. I can afford Starbucks. And I was working on my laptop, but I had to use the bathroom. I mean, something's going through my family. I don't have to go into the details, but you can put it together. I was going to go vomit up blood, and so I ran to the bathroom, puked up a bunch of blood, leaving my laptop unattended on a table at Starbucks. You know, this is a real roll of the dice. And you only do it if you have hemorrhagic fever because what are you going to do? Throw up all over your laptop? Splatter blood all over the Starbucks table? Maybe puke blood on a family next to you? No. You got to be polite. Normally, I would never do that. And going online without a VPN is the exact same thing that you're doing. My God. For those of you who don't know, you just need to look into what's going on every time you go online. It's essentially like swimming through a swamp filled with ancient parasites. You know, the ones that swim up your thing. That's what it is. You need a vape. You need a VPN. And I love ExpressVPN for a lot of different reasons. Primarily, it's easy to use. My old ass is not good at technology. And it's amazing that you can just press a button and not only are you protected, but you can be anywhere you want in the world. At least according to the Internet. It's as close to teleportation as we'll probably ever have in my lifetime. And depending on where you are, you're going to have access to different things. That's just the truth of the matter. ExpressVPN has the lowest price ever. It's just $3.49 a month. That's 12 cents a day. Super secure. Take a hacker with a supercomputer over 1 billion years to get past ExpressVPN's encryption. It works on all devices and an optional dedicated IP service engineered with innovative zero knowledge design. Not even ExpressVP can trace an IP address back to the user. Select plans, include Identity Defender. A new suite of tools to get your data removed from data brokers, alert you when your data appears on the dark Web, and even insure you against data theft for up to $1 million. Anytime I go on the road, you better Believe I'm using ExpressVPN when I'm connecting to airport wifi. Are you freaking kidding me? Why not just shove your hand into some dark, oily subterranean crevice where you can hear the chirping of ancient creatures inside? Wear a glove. That's Express VPN. Protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com duncan that's E X P R E S s v p n.com dunkin to find out how you can get up to four extra months. Expressvpn.com Duncan,

[Kurt Metzger]

I just burned my nose hairs, that last thing you showed me.

[Duncan Trussell]

What about this?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, that's kind of artsy. No, the one.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, you like your butts. Not artsy. You want that amateur butt. You don't want a full composed picture of a butt.

[Kurt Metzger]

It really is a shame we can't show you all these pictures. Any of them, because.

[Duncan Trussell]

Any of them.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let me explain the visual. The visual. Jarring. It's like one side is. You think it's a girl sucking a dick, but you realize it's not because next to it is a dude with a pussy. And it's like almost like a magic spell of like.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's magic inversion.

[Kurt Metzger]

It was like.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, I mean, one thing's for sure, it's magic.

[Kurt Metzger]

The magic. Alser Crowley once said, the magic is in your butt.

[Duncan Trussell]

In your butt. The magic is in your butt.

[Kurt Metzger]

Shout out to Hidden on Maruka channel for giving me that wonderful Crowley growing up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Interestingly enough, the magic is in your butt.

[Kurt Metzger]

The tunnels of Typhon, they call it.

[Duncan Trussell]

The magic is in your butt was a song that was going to be in Beauty and the Beast and they cut it out. They couldn't do it like.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, like a disgruntled employee. So they sell them for putting hidden dicks and things.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, it was gonna be a real song. I mean, there was a time when people weren't afraid of butt magic. There was a time when we lived in a more sensible way.

[Kurt Metzger]

Stallone's mother. Cause Sylvester Stallone's mom was a rumpologist. And she would read your ass cheeks.

[Duncan Trussell]

I thought it's your actual asshole that you read your asshole. A lot of people think that your asshole prince.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's the. Yeah. It's not the hole.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's the hole. Can you look up asshole.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look up fourth eye.

[Duncan Trussell]

Reading asshole Oracle or reading your butthole to tell.

[Kurt Metzger]

That is like the Chase bank sw. More closely.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull that up real quick. I mean, I do. I. I don't doubt that. Yep. Anomancy. Analmancy.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, that's not rump.

[Duncan Trussell]

We can't show that. But can you pull up analmancy? Wait, I need a new butt.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, what the.

[Duncan Trussell]

I need a new butt is a popular humorous children's book by Don McMillan.

[Kurt Metzger]

I broke.

[Duncan Trussell]

It features a young narrator who noticed a crack in their butt and imagines. Varies or. What the. What the fuck? Pull up. I need a new butt on Amazon. What? This can't be a kid's butt.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yo. Who.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look. Look.

[Kurt Metzger]

What the f. Why would you.

[Duncan Trussell]

I need a new butt.

[Kurt Metzger]

I thought.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look. By Don McMillan.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think this author needs a new butt. If you catch my. If you catch what?

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm a silly story that will cause boys and girls to giggle from beginning to end. A young boy suddenly notices a big problem. His butt has a huge crack, so he sets off to find a new one. He journeys across the sea to an island where a wonderful prince tells him his butt is fine.

[Kurt Metzger]

Where does it say that?

[Duncan Trussell]

It doesn't. I made it up. A rocket butt. A robot butt. If you're grooming, this is the best book you could have. I Need a New butt by Don McMillan. And that. And look at the reviews. Let's look at the reviews. I'm sorry. I'm probably square or something. I don't know if I'd want to.

[Kurt Metzger]

I broke my butt. What is this?

[Duncan Trussell]

What have we just stumbled upon? You know what? Pause here. Josh. I think this is a perfect time.

[Kurt Metzger]

The show's compromised.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think this is a perfect time to announce, even though everyone, most people already know, that next week on ymh, your mom's horse. Your mom's horse. What will become to be known as the most groundbreaking podcast of all time, Mystery Boys, will premiere. We have been doing a podcast. We have. How many episodes have we done now?

[Kurt Metzger]

It feels like a lot.

[Duncan Trussell]

We've done at least 10 episodes. But finally, we're going to release them, tell folks what the Mystery Boys is all about.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's about causing mysteries, not solving them. We're not, like, not our job. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

We're not going to do the work for you.

[Kurt Metzger]

Now. There has been some pushback of, like. Okay, what do you mean causing mysteries? Like, you're going to do crimes.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then leave the scene of the crime.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, no, we haven't done crime.

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, maybe, but, I mean, your

[Duncan Trussell]

definition of crime is different from mine.

[Kurt Metzger]

I was raised in Yemen.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm not against that. But you guys have a harsh, harsh penal system out there. You know what I mean?

[Kurt Metzger]

That's right. It's hard to get your copy of Butt magazine out there.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's why we, the Mystery Boys, are currently working on some global initiative to get as many butt magazines to Yemen as we possibly can. And it hasn't been easy. We're still looking for someone who's willing to deliver them out there.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. El Ansar, AKA the Houthis.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. No, it's ridiculous. The Red Tapes up to their old

[Kurt Metzger]

tricks, trying to keep Butt magazine.

[Duncan Trussell]

They're so hard to work with, and it's just like. It's been a nightmare negotiation. We keep. It's. Who's that dude we've been talking to? He's such a fucking dick.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't know. Fucking Buhan. It's like they got Three names.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, it's fucking Buhan or he's such a dick.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, then he goes, oh, and I heard Duncan's compromise. I go, are you shitting me?

[Duncan Trussell]

Get out of here.

[Kurt Metzger]

Are you kidding me?

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck? It's just this misinformation campaign against me is actually now hurting.

[Kurt Metzger]

If your mother saw what.

[Duncan Trussell]

So you're hurting Yemen, by the way. All of you spreading misinformation about me being compromised or keeping the children of Yemen. Don't you have magazine?

[Kurt Metzger]

Don't you have family that works in like, way more high profile things than podcasting. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like the very idea. This is like every time the election goes wrong for somebody. And by the way, has never gone wrong. The election. Whoever you vote for, you get Netanyahu, that's your president, as the great James Lee put as a title on one of his videos. Whoever you vote for, you get that? So it doesn't matter if you still think the election matters of the president. Is everybody? I mean, you know, look, I'm just an old judge slash astronaut, okay? I think you should laugh at a flat earther less than someone who believes in, like, the. The election of the President of America. By now you should have figured out the joke, shouldn't you? Should you have figured out that your president is the same as your student council? I mean, fucking president, grown up, like, not in charge of the school, you know?

[Duncan Trussell]

Hold on a minute, hold on. I've got to really piece together what you're saying here because it's kind of blowing my fucking mind. I think this is what they call it. Red pill. You're telling me.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't use that language.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're telling me and my listeners that when you go to vote for the President of the United States, even though your vote might be tallied or tabulated and the person you voted for might make it in, you're saying that that person is in fact, what, like a mascot or something?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, like, yeah, like Patrice used to say, like a Thanksgiving turkey. He viewed the president. It's like, whoa. Remember, they let a turkey, you know, they decide whether or not to execute a turkey.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, you're saying. Hold on a minute. Because what you're. It feels like what you're saying. I'm probably misunderstanding it. You're saying that you don't think we have a functional democracy.

[Kurt Metzger]

We've never had that. And also, nobody does. We have feudalism. There's only the four class system or feudalism. Wherever you go, there's only the four class system, they could dress it up however they want and tell you, you could say, but unless you. If you look into it, you'll find out very quickly that, no, we don't have that. And even in school, they told you we didn't have a democracy, we had a republic because we have an electoral college system. So out of the gate, we were never a democracy. But they just throw that word around like it means democracy. It does not.

[Duncan Trussell]

Man. I'm sorry, but I'm having a real hard time.

[Kurt Metzger]

You have never heard this before?

[Duncan Trussell]

Never.

[Kurt Metzger]

Though it's a republic, one thing I've

[Duncan Trussell]

noticed for sure is that inevitably, when you vote for the president, the things they say they're gonna do, they do it and that. Yeah. Okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm not saying I'm upset. I. Look, I only care about three things, okay? One, kidnap the president of Venezuela to kidnap Greenland.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes. Which we haven't done yet.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then three, new ballroom for the White House. Dude, those are my. Those are my issues.

[Duncan Trussell]

Where is our ballroom? Josh, pull up the fucking.

[Kurt Metzger]

You want to complain about the ballroom?

[Duncan Trussell]

A lot of you out there. I don't think you realize how beautiful this fucking ballroom is. Pull this shit up. My God, it's beautiful. Look at this. Oh, look at that. Beautiful ballroom. Guys, can you enlarge that, Josh, please? Oh, my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

Does it mention the floor plans are the same as the Temple of Solomon?

[Duncan Trussell]

Dude. What?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now that is what I call a selling point.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't think it's really a. You know, they go. The BAAL Room. Okay. For real? I don't think that works etymologically. And anybody I talk to that knows about it is like, that's not really what that means. But what it will be is, for some reason, the headquarters, the head base of Stargate. What is Stargate? Nothing with space. It's surveillance and central currency, digital currency. What we need, Larry Ellison's thing, Stargate, is that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank God. And can you pull up a picture of the Temple of Solomon? Because I know a lot of you out there are like, what the fuck, man? Why are we focusing on this right now? I can't afford bread. Pull up the Temple of Solomon.

[Kurt Metzger]

Solomon.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God. Now that is beautiful. Now imagine that you don't have to go anywhere. You can go to Washington D.C. and you can enjoy the Temple of Solomon.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, you can't. That was for the President.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know what I mean?

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, wait and wait. And so. And there's also. It's called the ballroom, because when Bibi Stays there and balls. Trump's wife.

[Duncan Trussell]

Beautiful.

[Kurt Metzger]

Now, I don't know if you know this. I just found this out from gnostic. Neil. From gnostic informant.

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Kurt Metzger]

Because why would they make. I know they want to build the third temple. Who doesn't in Jerusalem. Tosher in the Mashiach.

[Duncan Trussell]

But God bless you.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, Inshallah. To usher in the Mashiach. Inshallah. But it turns out there was like three temples. Like, besides the one that was destroyed in Rome, there was one in Alexandria.

[Duncan Trussell]

I didn't know that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, you never hear about that. But there were.

[Duncan Trussell]

So what happened to them?

[Kurt Metzger]

I. I didn't ask. But this, this. This one DC would be like they would set up more than one temple. Alexandria was the Hollywood of Egypt, basically. Or of Rome. Like Rose. Rome's Hollywood was Alexander. It's where like a Roman, you know, what's his name? The one that hooked up with Cleopatra. And if you ever saw the hbo.

[Duncan Trussell]

Mark Anthony.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. And then he starts wearing eyeliner.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like. Like how dudes. You know, like big. That's my best friend in comedy. Well, really? Yeah, For a long time. Where he paints his nails now.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's not to be gay. He does look like he's transitioning because he has a person that.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, this is a thing that does happen. Like, I've noticed it with. Didn't Ari. He's not doing it for you paint your nails. I've noticed. Doesn't Ari paint his nails Sometimes?

[Kurt Metzger]

Shafir.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let me text him right now.

[Kurt Metzger]

Ari.

[Duncan Trussell]

Maddie. No, Ari. Shafir. Let me ask him if he paints his nails. I don't want to spread misinformation about Ari.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like, it depends which nail one means you swing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let me see.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't know what.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know why there is not co. Really. It's coded.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look, it's like getting a teardrop tattoo.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hang on, I'm trying to find. Hold on one second. I need to ask this.

[Kurt Metzger]

So can you get Ari's old payas?

[Duncan Trussell]

Look up Ari's painted nail. Ari Shafir painted nails. It's gotta be up there. By the way, check out Ari's. This Is the End. Available on ymh. I'm on it.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, Ari told me he got somebody did a hamster ritual to get a curse off of him. Not a hamster, a guinea pig.

[Duncan Trussell]

I heard that too. Yeah, I don't know. I don't see it. Sorry, Ari. He probably didn't paint his nails or wear Outlander, but yeah, I know that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like, you Thought that he did.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't. Ari does wild shit, man. I mean, don't you kind of.

[Kurt Metzger]

Ari shaved half of his hair and beard. Now that's the kind of style like I just got out of some kind of surgery style.

[Duncan Trussell]

Have you ever painted your nails?

[Kurt Metzger]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

Why? What's wrong with you?

[Kurt Metzger]

Why would I paint?

[Duncan Trussell]

Why wouldn't you?

[Kurt Metzger]

Because I'm not.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're wearing an astronaut hat. You got a pipe. Why don't paint your nails and finish off the equipment?

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, these are both. These are the accoutrements of men.

[Duncan Trussell]

I understand that, but that's why you

[Kurt Metzger]

know that was a fake space mission. Because no woman has ever been to space. Their periods would cause so many problems. We. This is so known science.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's so old fashioned, what you're saying, you know, in the old days, men would paint their nails before you went

[Kurt Metzger]

into war if they go on their periods. And when they were stuck up there, remember the astronauts were stuck. And I remember my girlfriend going, like, what? That chick has her period? What the fuck they do? They don't have. Oh, it was in the news. They didn't have tampons? No, they were out of diapers.

[Duncan Trussell]

So what happened? Just period blood floats through the.

[Kurt Metzger]

Or as our archonic leaders call it, starfire. So now you've.

[Duncan Trussell]

They call period blood starfire.

[Kurt Metzger]

What's all these filthy magic people?

[Duncan Trussell]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[Kurt Metzger]

You didn't know this?

[Duncan Trussell]

I didn't know that you teach me. You're my teacher. Pull up.

[Kurt Metzger]

So, Starfire, you didn't know that Crowley and everybody.

[Duncan Trussell]

I had no idea that period blood was called starfire. No idea.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's just like grow. I mean, it makes you want to take a good long look at a butt magazine when you hear this shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

I had no idea. Oh, my God, I'm so happy you were friends, Starfire.

[Kurt Metzger]

You didn't have. You're not fucking with me? You're not doing some kind of ironic thing today?

[Duncan Trussell]

You know what? I'm flattered by how much you think I know about this shit.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, how do you know all these people?

[Duncan Trussell]

Starfire is.

[Kurt Metzger]

How do you know all these people? But you don't know nothing?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, Starfire is a term used in esoteric, mythological and some alternative spiritual context to refer to menstrual blood. It is specifically described in certain legends as a sacred moon elixir or gold of the gods.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, dear God.

[Duncan Trussell]

Symbolism. It is viewed as a divine essence or life force that symbolizes the red moon phase. Modern spiritual use in some modern spiritual practices. Menstrual blood is honored as a powerful sacred substance. I mean, look, I'm on TikTok. I know. I see like, I see the hippies. Okay, well, period blood they are. But you have, you've never gone down on someone having her period?

[Kurt Metzger]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

Shut the up.

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, I, I, oh, that's why you're not supposed to have period six, because you could bring stuff in from the astral.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, I, you know what? I think you have a lot to teach me. I have a lot to teach you? I can't even.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm not saying I did it a lot, so.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, so you have gone down.

[Kurt Metzger]

I've never gone down. First of all, I would never go down on a woman that's gay. Secondly.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, I don't disagree with you. This is why I'm queer. But okay, so number one. So number one.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Don't you remember Alzer Crowley would make light cakes. They're cold and it's like just, you know. Apparently a toilet is a magical device because you switch down with a human. They get superpowers when you in their heads.

[Duncan Trussell]

What do you mean?

[Kurt Metzger]

They would eat this shit. It's gross. That's why magic is so hard to talk about because it's so gay. And also shitting on each other. You know, it's so like, it's just the worst. It's just the most like, you know what magic is. You're doing things.

[Duncan Trussell]

When do you shit on each other in magic?

[Kurt Metzger]

You don't know about this?

[Duncan Trussell]

You keep saying that. I clearly don't.

[Kurt Metzger]

We'll try it.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's just, it's weird to realize.

[Kurt Metzger]

Don't take my word for it.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, it's just weird to realize I've been practicing magic and I didn't even know it. So I'm a wizard. I'm basically Gandalf.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's what. Yeah, a lot of things are mass marketing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Everyone's like, why does Gandalf smell like shit?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. No, Gandalf would. Why does Gandalf just shit on my dick? That was one of the unpublished.

[Duncan Trussell]

Have you guys noticed Gandalf just smells horrible?

[Kurt Metzger]

You know what that is, right? Sauron, Sauron, Saturn, blah, blah, blah. So the guy who wrote it, what's his dumb name? The English guy talking? Yeah, he's a Rosicrucian. He's telling you his. It's like the Bible. It was on the screen before the GPT put up some of it. So he's telling you the. A metaphor. What do you call it? A metaphorical Overlay of Atlantis times.

[Duncan Trussell]

I believe that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, no. You had it on there on the last screen.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you look? Google.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, no. There you go. Back to the writing. Yeah, show more, show more. No, no. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Ancient rituals.

[Kurt Metzger]

You gotta make it bigger. Okay, let's see. It's not in here.

[Duncan Trussell]

The term is not meant in the context of the fictional DC Comics character. Whoa. Pull up Starfire.

[Kurt Metzger]

See this? Aimed at unlocking the pineal and pituitary glands now in Ormus. Ormus. The most sought after of these gross things. But never mind. Adrenochrome. Ormus. And you can't get it. Just so you know, they sell it online. It's fake. But pituitary glands and pineal glands juiced up with human lung tissue and then some gross. Whatever they do in the moonlight, I don't know what gay shit they do. That shit is activating a third eye and extending your life unnaturally. The most sought after substance by occultists on earth is called or not the kind online. Monoatomic gold. Oh, it also has monoatomic gold. And that's a drink from ancient sumer.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is that like the colloidal silver?

[Kurt Metzger]

No, monoatomic gold, but it's O R M U S. And by the way, the straight of Hormuz.

[Duncan Trussell]

Strait of Ormus. Yes, straight of Ormus.

[Kurt Metzger]

Morris, are you dyslexic?

[Duncan Trussell]

What did you say? Ormus.

[Kurt Metzger]

O R M U S. Ormus. Hit it. See that? So people sell it. This is like if you were selling adrenochrome with no adreno.

[Duncan Trussell]

So this is fake Ormus.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, it's just monoatomic gold. I don't know if that has any effects. People say it does that often.

[Duncan Trussell]

Contains 24k food grade gold, Dead sea, sea salt, pink Himalayans. Well, theoret. Couldn't you just take like online ormuth and add period blood? And you would have.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's some alchemical ritual being done with it. So it ain't just the. You know, it ain't just that, but the people that would be able to get it for you would be generational funeral home directors that are like old money. And that's people with access to bodies.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, dude, I gotta tell you something that I literally can't say online. Can you stop for real? Stop recording, Josh. And that's why I don't have nipples. So anyway, dude, I gotta ask you this. If I had, like I'm saying I don't, you know, all the adrenochrome stuff and all this stuff harvested from like Kids a horrible shit.

[Kurt Metzger]

You ever take provisional Obama pills?

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm saying. Wait, hold on. If I had a nice bottle of menstrual blood and space cakes or whatever the name for this, you know, if I had a nice. If I had a cup of that and you knew if you drank it, you would actually, I don't know, heal or have powers or be able to like peer into like, you know, secret temples.

[Kurt Metzger]

Would I be healing from third degree burns?

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't get lost in like healing. I'm just saying it gave you some potency, some superpower. You're telling me you wouldn't drink. And I'm saying we know it works. You wouldn't drink a nice bottle of jizz and period blood and let me bang your ass if it knew it would give you special powers, like real

[Kurt Metzger]

powers, like the power to take a good pounding. I bet you I could have that without drinking somebody's fucking loads.

[Duncan Trussell]

But I'm telling you, it's so funny that this, this, this thing that you have. Really? I didn't know this.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know what? They're just for all this shit to me at the end of the day, just for a display of. I'll do anything I'm told to do by the right authority or powerful person. And so like most of this, right, I, I don't really understand all that fluid shit, but we have something called plasma based medicine. That would be your provigil or new vigil or a bunch of things. Most people are now cannibals by default because we never used to make like. Not narcotics. Well, drugs. Any drugs. They were made from plants. Always. They were taking plants and doing chemical things to them to make drugs.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So in like 1960 was the advent of plasma based, where you actually making things out of blood. And I'm not talking about adrenochrome, I'm talking about stuff people take now. And it's 80% of the. So 80% of the blood supply of donated blood goes to pharmaceutical companies to make these drugs.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is so up.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's on an episode of Mystery Boys. That is so way back when.

[Duncan Trussell]

That one that turned my stomach when you told me about that, it turned my stomach and I don't even do it now.

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, I get. My point is, I guess I have already drank a cup of. And I don't have any magical powers. I already have.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think you have magical powers.

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, I know I've had lots of provigil, so I mean that's probably a baby's worth.

[Duncan Trussell]

I had this is what popped into my head the other day after you blew my mind with. And I don't want to talk about it here. It's too. I don't want to ruin the episode of the Mystery Boys, but you always are blowing my mind with some of this stuff. And then I started thinking, if any of us are going to get pulled in to, like, a deep occult society, if anyone I know, it's you.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, because I'll tell you why. One, you're going to be groomed ahead of time.

[Duncan Trussell]

This episode of the DTFH has been supported by my friends at Quint, who seem to understand that I have an inexplicable feeling phobia when it comes to going out and shopping. I don't like it. Maybe you're gonna find something you like. Who knows? But to get there, you're gonna have to go through an ocean of weird stores. You're gonna end up in all these department stores, man. You're gonna start sweating and freaking out. At least that's me. I. I just. I don't like shopping. I don't like it. It's not my thing. This is why Quince. It's like. It's like an angel made quints for me. Because everything that I might want to find out there in that cruel, harsh, dark landscape of consumerism we call a shopping mall is right there on Quince's beautiful website. Quince has all the things you're going to need for spring. 100% European linen shorts and shirts from 34 bucks. Lightweight, breathable, and comfortable. But they still look put together and clean. 100% Pima cotton tees with softness that has to be felt. Their pants also hit the same balance. Relaxed and comfortable, but still polished enough to wear pretty much anywhere. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're getting premium materials without the markup. Look at this. These are our beautiful. Look at these beautiful sweatpants. I love them. This has become one of my favorite sweatpants. Flowknit performance joggers. They're just perfect. You know, I have a sweaty ass, and these things just do a. I don't even know what they're doing. It's some kind of magic. They're drinking my ass sweat away, so I don't have, like, you know, moist sweat. If you sweat a lot. These pants are incredible. Not only that, they feel great, soft, perfect. And they're made with global recycle standard poly yarn which diverts and recycles plastics destined for landfill or the ocean. So you can feel them look good. I just found that out. I didn't know that. Also, they make me a better person for wearing them. But the main thing is they feel good and they're awesome. Quince has everything you need. Check them out, guys. For real gals, everybody. Refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com dunkin for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Duncan for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Dunkin support these wonderful brands that are supporting your favorite podcast. Thanks, Quince. What the fuck is this shit? There you go.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wow. Did you see that? So hold on. I got a call from.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's how it works.

[Kurt Metzger]

Illuminati.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hello, it's the Illuminati. Hi.

[Kurt Metzger]

Fun voice.

[Duncan Trussell]

You don't think. But no, just wait.

[Kurt Metzger]

Hold on. Wait.

[Duncan Trussell]

Before you answer, let me finish my muggle. Let me finish my. Let me finish my point. Yeah, it's the classic thing. People who, like, end up fighting crime become part.

[Kurt Metzger]

The more you have the dialectic. Will I be drawn into the dialectic?

[Duncan Trussell]

You get pulled in. The more you resist. The resistance is itself a form of adoration. And via that. It doesn't matter that because you're connecting yourself with the energy, it will inevitably draw you in and you will become the victim.

[Kurt Metzger]

We're all awash in the energy because the entire world is controlled by, you know, the. The dragon. So there's no way of. You're not going to be drawn in. That's the whole thing that happened to Eve in the story. I don't know literally what the deal is with it, but the story is talking about someone being tempted into the fun house and they can't get out of the fun, you know?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So that's what your 3D existence is this. That's why, you know, whatever these people don't like, I like. So I like Jesus because they don't like Jesus. Do you understand?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

And they really want you to not bring it up or have it. Right. And I'm not like a believer.

[Duncan Trussell]

They don't want you to bring up Jesus. When I had a bishop, I had a bishop on this show.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, you didn't.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, I did. And I.

[Kurt Metzger]

You didn't want you to say Jesus.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, no, no. He was a Catholic. Who wasn't? He Barron. Yeah, Bishop Barron. So I've had, you know, I've had Satanists on the. I've had. I've represented.

[Kurt Metzger]

Almost everybody's free to pick what they want.

[Duncan Trussell]

But when I had Bishop Barrett on the show, I have never gotten more pushback. I got more pushback for Bishop Baron.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is that what that Asheville kid was

[Duncan Trussell]

mad about from Alex Jones?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, I bet. Because, well, you got to keep in mind like the amount of embittered. I used to joke that like Catholics have all the good lore, like all the, all the movie quality lore of. Of their faith comes out, you know, I guess Hindus, Bollywood lore, but all the monsters and whatever's. And you know, it's all, it's all

[Duncan Trussell]

within a Catholic possession.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's always portrayed within a Catholic framework almost always. And you know, like Rosemary's Baby. Wait, the monster. Remember the universal monster universe they're trying to make with Tom Cruise and. Yeah, the Mummy with Tom Cruise. And there was supposed to be a connected universe of classic monsters.

[Duncan Trussell]

What?

[Kurt Metzger]

You don't remember this? There was the Wolf man with Benicio Del Toro. There was Russell Crowe.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, sure, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

They were trying to compete with Marvel and if somebody bought Universal classic monsters. Yeah, like Frankenstein.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's cool. They used to do that in old movies. It would be Frankenstein.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. You can't have a monster party without the lore of the Catholic Church. That's where it comes out. Okay, so. And I think it's because I would say if I was going to be a real occultist about it, they alchemically took paganisms because. Because it means the universal church, Catholic Church. So if it's going to be universal, we have to absorb all the beliefs of the area alchemically transmute them into Christianity, which is how an occultist, I think would look at it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but magazine. So. Yeah. And so as a result of that, like, you know, like, like the Catholic Church and the Plymouth Brethren have probably generated the most amount of Satanists because of the dialectic of crashing down in one thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

And just in the resistance, you're gonna, you're gonna just.

[Kurt Metzger]

Right. And an Apollo worshiper, a Luciferian Apollo trying to bring Apollo back. They're gonna be above all that and they're gonna go, this is the side that does the good guy stuff and it does the bad guy. But I'm the, the dungeon master of the role.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm gonna control the whole game.

[Kurt Metzger]

The people in charge that are really high up. And by the way, Eleanor Roosevelt, massive occultist, Franklin Massive occultist.

[Duncan Trussell]

Eleanor Roosevelt was an occultist? Pull that up, Josh.

[Kurt Metzger]

I bet that ate some got her red wings, I'll tell you that.

[Duncan Trussell]

No idea. Eleanor Roosevelt here? I don't know anything about Eleanor Roosevelt.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay? I don't think you're gonna get this

[Duncan Trussell]

off of Google, but you'll find something. Let's see. She was not.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, your boy with the chain wallet knows all about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Consultation with a palmist.

[Kurt Metzger]

Hold on, look. Look what it does. See? So you have to make a construct if you want to ask questions of AI. Just a little tip for everybody, Seoko. She was not an occultist in the sense of practicing witchcraft, but she did engage what they call. So because these stupid AIs are designed for consensus and balance, they'll tell you stuff like, well, it's not a complete lie. And like, what the fuck does that mean?

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, wait, hold on.

[Kurt Metzger]

She's an occultist.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look up Nelly Simon.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, wait, wait. No, that's not. Okay, yeah, sure, a palm reader. But she. There's something else she was into.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you don't just. It's not like you're only going to do palm reading. And let's wait while some listed first ladies who brought the occult to the White House might include her name alongside those who called seances, such as Mary Todd Lincoln. What the fuck?

[Kurt Metzger]

But this is like tech. Okay, think of it at the time, this is when the spiritualist boom is happening. So there was an occultist infiltration at that point.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

America's initially being settled by occultists because they're Freemasons, which is establishing Atlantis.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

America was all. You know, when they call it the American Experiment.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. And I watched Mike Pompeo, that ex CIA fuck go. I was taught to lie, cheat and steal for the glory of the American experiment.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

And when I saw that I was in Jimmy door shower, I'm like, why does he keep saying. Are we not like a real country? Why does he keep saying experiment?

[Duncan Trussell]

It's an experiment.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is this not settled science that we're here? That's very strange. Yeah, because it is. It's an experiment on the way to the one world government. If you think of America, what it is, it's an alchemical process of taking all the people from the other countries, making them into one culture. England wants to do it, Europe wants to do it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Like a centrifuge.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's right. Because we need a one world religion government. Don't you want to live in Star Trek times?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, okay, we're going to all need to go to a UN meditation center. It looks like 90s Star Trek churches.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up the UN meditation center, guys. Get ready to see a place that you would never want to meditate in.

[Kurt Metzger]

Right. Do you like a big black altar in your. In your prayer?

[Duncan Trussell]

You want a nice.

[Kurt Metzger]

There you go.

[Duncan Trussell]

Have you seen this, Josh? That's a, um, meditation.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is. Right. This is out of that SNL sketch with.

[Duncan Trussell]

Where do you.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, take a seat. That's like supposed to be a chair or a couch.

[Duncan Trussell]

The creepiest. Fucking spookiest. Yeah, look at that. Who would. Look at those weird chairs. Look at. It's just so stark.

[Kurt Metzger]

These are Tolkien's people he was writing about.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck? Yeah, okay. Keep going.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, look at the benches. This is out of. What was that cool movie with Christian Bale where he was a Grammaton cleric and he did like gun fu. And it was just. Nobody's allowed to have emotions.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like that equilibrium.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's. You could pull. Pull up the.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, it was called equilibrium. But this is what this is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Go to the United nations right here, Josh. This thing down below. So. So people could see this. Actually, the United nations fucked up. Universality of meditation. And to make it universal, they left out all religions in the meditation room. That's what they call universality.

[Kurt Metzger]

So. So look, you've already seen this up close. The range. That's why. This is why England, you know, Western, what they love grabbing from Eastern shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Changing it. Theosophy is that it's alchemically taking their.

[Duncan Trussell]

Sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

Making a new thing to poison us with it. And so that's why the Beatles would go to India. And that's why. Because the royalty, the blood, the nobles love that shit. A beautiful system where everybody knows their fucking place. That goes back to like the most. The most ancient writing we have is Sanskrit. Before that, some aboriginal caves. That's all we got. So they love that. They love that shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

I love it.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. And then that way. And this is the other thing. When you research this stuff, the thing you're talking about, about getting drawn in.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. You're.

[Kurt Metzger]

Here's what happens when you really dig deep in it. Because I'm always amazed that you don't know this ahead of time because of all the literal occultists that have come at you, where you've talked to or just like the. The amount of fairy blood you got in you that you could see whatever you've seen in your life. Okay. I don't mean gay. I mean Fae, like, you know, Atlantis blood.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. It's okay. I know you think I'm. I know it is.

[Kurt Metzger]

It is gay, but it's not like gay.

[Duncan Trussell]

Anyway, I'm not offended by the.

[Kurt Metzger]

If you guys. That doesn't dig deep into it. If you learn it. The more you learn about this stuff, the more you will be forced to make judgments. And everything in polite society is about not making judgments. As you look into all these. Part of that meditation room is. Is that instinct. Sweden has it in spades really. We don't want you to believe in nothing that we. We like you to believe in whatever's trending.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

But we'll tolerate your beliefs, but everyone is tolerated and blah blah, blah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Meanwhile, but by making everyone tolerated, let's eradicate all religion. That's the.

[Kurt Metzger]

They all follow a theme, even if you're trad. I didn't know what traditionalism was trad.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's like an insult.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like a gay racist. It's like you're openly a racist but closet gay. And whereas a progressive. Right. Am I wrong? A progressive is going to be openly gay but closet racist.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is so those fucking crazy.

[Kurt Metzger]

Am I right or wrong? So that forms a dialectic between secret gays and open gays.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow, that's wild.

[Kurt Metzger]

What happens? They meet and fuck and whatever comes out of that.

[Duncan Trussell]

What is that?

[Kurt Metzger]

Whatever drips out of their butt is what our society is. That's the view from space.

[Duncan Trussell]

Clinton, Josh, take that down. We gotta put that as though that's the ultimate clip of all time.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's the. Yeah, the ultimate manly P holes of all times.

[Duncan Trussell]

Holy shit.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, so. So anyway, traditionalism is a very definite philosophy that I didn't understand. I thought, oh, you're old fashioned. No, it's blood and soil. So it's this that predates Mike de Suozi. Predates Nazis. That's the thing all these people like when Steve Bannon talks about populism, he's not. These arguments they're having are about how to control the slaves. That's it. And all the things that don't make sense to you when you watch how they act, they don't want to have to say it to you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

So that's all this unsaid where you're supposed to be just cool. You know, We've played some CNN clip on Jimmy's show of some from Midas Touch. But this kid was right. He was trashing the idiot next to him about how what a disaster, the Iran and Iraq war and all that is. And the guy goes, well, I Think you're being ungrateful to the troops.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

You see a little turnaround. That's a classic pal. You know, that's what they're trained to do in those arenas.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is. Is sort of like what you're talking about is you want to teach people to ignore what might be the most important part of themselves, which is the part where you in a situation that's dangerous that you shouldn't. Something's off and they tell you we

[Kurt Metzger]

need to bypass your. So I think a lot of the past insanity of the last 10 years in the fucking. What do you call it? Culture war. Culture war is. Let me change the name Culture war for you. It's a magic battle. That's what a culture war is.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's a gay magic battle. And the reason is because you're. You're fighting for the right to talk directly into people's subconscious is the way that people on top. So the Church of Satan their secret teaching is that human nature is programmability. It's not good. It's not bad. It's programmable. The second Psyop Division if we're Bragg knows this Michael Aquino. The piece of with the eyebrows.

[Duncan Trussell]

Michael Aquino. And by the way, what's the first psyop division Division. Oh, you don't want any second Psyop Division.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, I have no idea how

[Duncan Trussell]

do you how many I would tell

[Kurt Metzger]

anybody watching to look into Matt Ehrett M A T T E H R

[Duncan Trussell]

E T Look at this dude. This is a decorated. What the fuck. Look at those eyebrows, man. Let's pull him up on Wikipedia. Michael Aquino.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let's get his Wikipedia.

[Duncan Trussell]

Michael Aquino.

[Kurt Metzger]

He's dead. He suicided during COVID But did he

[Duncan Trussell]

really kill himself during COVID Who knows?

[Kurt Metzger]

Maybe they cleaned him up. He. You have to understand remember the whole Satanic panic.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. So most people think it's based on the West Memphis three. My girlfriend is younger than me thought that but I remember it being based on the McMorton preschool. But other people it lasted for 30 years.

[Duncan Trussell]

The satanic panic happened way before the the Westminster.

[Kurt Metzger]

If you look up the people's official reckoning of it and there's all these academic papers how I found it from academic papers about until George W. Bush took office we were in a Satanic panic. Since it was.

[Duncan Trussell]

It was no 1970 exactly. We would know the Satanic panic. It was like Dungeons and Dragons.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is Dungeon dragons part of it but now that predict. Now keep in mind with Dungeons and Dragons.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Think of that that is exactly what Steve Bannon and Epstein were talking about. They're dungeon masters. The 2nd Psyop Division. The civilians in charge of the deceptive deception operations, I guess, are supposed to go 10 years. This is separate source. Sean Patrick Haslet. Great Fucking. Did you talk to him yet, Haslet? From Through a Glass Darkly?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't think so.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, dude, I got to. I was. I'm gonna have Lynn Buchanan, that remote viewer on. What was I. Wait. What is 91911?

[Duncan Trussell]

That's when he died on September 1, 2019.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, I didn't. What?

[Duncan Trussell]

Number 919. In a cold or numilateral contest, get a powerful palindrome that represents a reset phase in life.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, May.

[Duncan Trussell]

Signaling the completion of a major cycle and the necessity of stepping into one's true purpose. Death. The final wall completion. Because 9119 is a palindrome, it is often viewed as representing the last wall or final step in a cycle of personal development. Whoa.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. So he's the ruby to. Fuck him. Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

So never mind him. Paul Valelli. Who wrote. Who wrote Mind War with this piece of shit? Because your boy. Who defends him? I'm dying to know what grounds he defended. I mean, the guy with the chain wallet. What's his name?

[Duncan Trussell]

Here you go again. Mitch Horowitz.

[Kurt Metzger]

I like his book. I have his book. My girlfriend got me his book.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're. You're in a wizard war with Mitch.

[Kurt Metzger]

I am not in a wizard war. I know. You know? I mean, look, I'm fine with you being confident.

[Duncan Trussell]

I want to tell you something real quick. Coming from the compromise, a compromised section of the world. I want to tell you something. Something. You know what I love? I love having people who practice magic and are anything on my show. And I want you to know I

[Kurt Metzger]

didn't even attack him. I said that he defended Paul Michael Aquino.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm not defending him. I'm saying. I just want you to know something. I guess I should have told you this before we started our podcast together. I think you are one of the most adept occult practitioners. I think you're.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm profane. I'm not in the group.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think you're the real thing, though. Like, I think you're actually what it looks like. I mean, not that Mitch or any of these people don't practice. I'm just saying I've never met.

[Kurt Metzger]

It looks like a qualified astronaut.

[Duncan Trussell]

I've never met a wizard in the wild. You're a chaos magician. You just don't. And part of the thing is, you can't even reckon with that because that

[Kurt Metzger]

goes against God to be a wizard. Listen, anything I did, I'm licensed to do, I'll get involved in. I go with the flow from God, not from. From some creep with eyebrows. That. Here's how he was. Why I think he definitely was at the Presidio doing shit to kids. And by the way, McMartin, they did have tunnels under there. It turns out there were tunnels under there. The blueprints have been found since back when they said there weren't. Okay. And I don't think this is a form of magic. I think because of Jehovah's Witnesses, which I found out I did not know this Russell family, big occultist family. Oh, what's this fucking. There's a guy, he's got a channel called Lifting the Lamp, and he's. I call him Freighter Skyrim. I don't remember his real.

[Duncan Trussell]

Freighter Skyrim.

[Kurt Metzger]

His name is Freighter Something, but he does. I don't know what he's playing around with, but he had a very interesting thing he was talking about for one of. Now, Tracy Twyman's a person who. I study her shit a lot.

[Duncan Trussell]

You keep mentioning Tracy Twyman. I still am unclear about who Tracy Twyman is.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, she's this chick that researched all this kind of stuff, like the.

[Duncan Trussell]

She put out books and stuff.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Tracy Twyman.

[Kurt Metzger]

Clock Shavings is a good one.

[Duncan Trussell]

Clock Shavings. That's a cool name for a book.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, so that. That meditation room that you're looking at.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Swedish people, Swedish witches would do this thing where it's like they have piece of a clock and they forsake Christ for all time. And they. It's a ritual, basically. It's just a thing to be. Like, I'm in all the. So when you see Dan Bongino or Kash Patel lying, or you see any of these people lying about things. Right to your fucking face.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Never mind. Like, telling you things that aren't real. That's one level. But they're telling you to not see things that are real, which is extra.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

And they're committed.

[Duncan Trussell]

And by the way, this is. I want to just inject this. You know, if you look up, like, you know, thank God, like in schools now, like, that you, like, you have to, like. If you want to volunteer at a lot of schools, you have to go through this training program.

[Kurt Metzger]

Is it for esl, by any chance?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, no, I'm talking about, like, they teach you all of the tricks that

[Kurt Metzger]

groomers use, esl, Emotional social learning.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right. And these tricks that you're talking about, psychological tricks they teach kids to ignore what's right in front of them. All this stuff.

[Kurt Metzger]

Give me an example. That's very interesting what you just said. How, how so?

[Duncan Trussell]

By desensitizing them. So in other, like, obviously if you're like a predator, you have to like sort of like override this poor innocent things like basic. Like this is not right.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's the point of kindergarten.

[Duncan Trussell]

But what I'm saying is that if you look at the practices of a lot of these people that you're talking about that are like the Dungeon Masters, what they're doing is no different. It's just for adults. It's like adult grooming. Let me get you decent.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's what Dungeon Dragons was, was grooming. So.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, not Gary Gyax, not Dungeons and Dragons. It's a fun game. I, I really don't think.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, lots of. I want to tell everybody everything's fun. I, I don't have like a. That bad. I can't watch that because that's the thing. You just should be aware of what I. I like to be aware of what the, what the trick is. Like magic tricks. I find it very interesting how they do magic tricks or joke writing, for example, for me is a big like thing that I'm like, what's the mechanics?

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

So I like to know the purpose of everything because I don't want to be cheated.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, Right. Or.

[Kurt Metzger]

Or worse yet, get the keys to Enoch in the tunnels of Typhon, if you catch my drift.

[Duncan Trussell]

You don't want to get banged down.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't want to get. Yeah, I don't want to get my ass blown by anyone but my poor eating habits. Anyway, so the grooming process is hypnosis, I consider. Oh, I'll read it to you because it's. I think.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let's hear it.

[Kurt Metzger]

So. Dr. Heather Lynn, you should watch. Dude, hold on. So we're talking about this because if you follow Joseph P. Farrell, he'll talk about how these old ass cathedrals are on former magic spots and the, and the pipe. The architecture is such that the pipe organ is like. You're inside the organization. The pipe organ. And it's a form of reverse magic. So it's them pushing down the people that built those spots. That's a very.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pushing the energy down. It's like trying to repel the energy or something from like.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's almost like a super fund to clean up a talk I would imagine the thought process. I don't. That's me saying that. But the thing is, this is in the Bible. It's in every.

[Duncan Trussell]

They're like corks. Like court or devil corks to keep. Like the bad.

[Kurt Metzger]

You do it right. It's like reverse magic. Okay, okay. So I go. So I consider comedy to be a form of reverse magic. It's literally a thing that dispels spells to me. So she told me.

[Duncan Trussell]

Heather Lynn goes, I'm sorry, dispelling spells is also magic. Basic D and D. It's all a

[Kurt Metzger]

matter of motive and authority with it. But. Okay, don't get hung up on that. This is what she showed me scientifically. And I've never heard these studies, and I know you've heard this for years from dingbat feminists and people studying. Well, disparagement humor could lead to you not funding a college woman's thing. You told me it was a woman's thing. I said no.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Don't worry about the disparagement humor, you dumb bitch. You fucking spurg that they made in a lab on purpose because you think like a cow. They made them people because they think like cows. That's why they like Hindus, because they worship cows.

[Duncan Trussell]

All right, Get. Lay off the Hindus and the cows. They're very sweet.

[Kurt Metzger]

Not if you're from there. Okay, the laugh, they weren't sweet after that shit festival. Made it to the fucking. Okay, this science behind it. She goes, there's actually science behind you saying, that's reverse magic. The laugh is essentially the discharge signal of a successful remapping under conditions of safety. Laughter requires the brain to update its model in real time. That update process is the mechanism that breaks trance. See, magic is about a trance. Make a fart in church is breaking a trance. Get it? I'm using the expression it's a brainstem level motor program. So I would never get in deep with these people because I'm gonna mock the out of them the second they do something that I don't like or strikes me as wrong. I'm not gonna sit there obediently and go, oh, you drink period blood. That's good. It's a brainstem level motor program, evolutionarily older than speech. It sits closer to crying or panting than to language, which is why you can't reliably fake a genuine laugh. You can fake it, but not reliably. Then that's true.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

When something hits as funny, the prefrontal cortex, like, if I have to do you've ever had me A thing we have to laugh for. Like a. Something you're shooting.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's brutal, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's brutal.

[Kurt Metzger]

But so what happens is you start laughing fake and then you have to, like, laugh at your own fake laugh to make it sound. That's how I. When something hits, it's funny. The prefrontal cortex processes the incongruity.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. Dopamine fires the amygdala gets downregulated and cortisol drops within seconds. So the trope of the Bill Murray character in Ghostbusters. Get it? The dominant theory is benign violation. Now, this ties into a joke I make, which is that laughter should consent is for sexual intercourse and religion.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

It is not for laugh should be. You didn't want to and I made you do it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

And now you gotta lie back and enjoy it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

But it's not. It's not physically harming. If I'm helping you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

You're going to take it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

You're going to laugh whether you want to or not.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you. The chaos of magician speaks.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm undoing the damage of a chaos magician by being funny by casting spells. I think it's reversed because casting spells is the charm. I'm trying to undo that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, sure. That wizards don't do that. They don't get curses off of people.

[Kurt Metzger]

Or they also don't mention Jesus in a positive light. Like I just. They do if they. Yeah. They mention a Christ consciousness, which. Like, what do you know?

[Duncan Trussell]

There's a lot of references to the. You can find like.

[Kurt Metzger]

Hold on, hold on.

[Duncan Trussell]

People talking about the historic Jesus. He was mostly referred to as a magician.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yes. By people. Okay. By people don't like him. Hold on. We'll get to that. Your brain encounters a mismatch and resolves it in an unexpected but coherent way. This is why laughter breaks. Hypnotic and dissociate. This is the key to it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Disassociative.

[Kurt Metzger]

It breaks dissociative states. So effectively, trance involves narrowed attention, reduced critical evaluation and absorption in a single narrative. So that's why I'm not going to be invited to Peter Thiel's fucking blood prostitute island. Because I'm going to break. Like, they want to know you're in. It's like being a fucking work being with Mariah Carey in her entourage. Are you in or out?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yep.

[Kurt Metzger]

Or Hinchcliffe's entourage. Laughter disrupts all of it at once. It forces the executive brain back online. Magic is to force the executive brain offline.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's your definition.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's the definition of Satanists, Magicians, all of them. That's. That's why we need dude chanting. I need your brain in a theta wave state. Now, again, I'm not saying.

[Duncan Trussell]

With a theta wave state.

[Kurt Metzger]

Not saying that. I get in it all the time. I'm not saying anything wrong with it. Intrinsically, it's the motive. And whatever is behind getting you in that state.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is the.

[Kurt Metzger]

So maybe I want you to pay. Maybe I want you to drink my jizz and tell you it's a magic potion.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

Maybe I want to fucking make a kid cool with saying my butt is broken. These people. Because at the end of the day, it boils down to all these practices of these fucking way. Here's the main difference. They all are, at the core, fine with doing stuff to kids.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's the problem.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, that's what it is. Eve. Whatever. Okay, I don't know what the real story of Eve, whoever the fuck Eve is, That's a child being taken advantage of by a serpent, right? A nahash.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Who then is punished by being pushed into a 2D.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Prison. Like Superman 2.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, wait, hold on with the 2D prison stuff. Wait, you're. I think. I think what you're hitting upon here.

[Kurt Metzger]

Stage hypnosis. Hypnotists actively avoid humor during induction.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow, really? No.

[Kurt Metzger]

Induction phase. You don't want humor because you need them. Look, it's like, look at this candle and focus on the candle. I talk. I'm putting. So I'm trying to switch your brain right now. It's very hard if someone you can hypnotize, someone who doesn't want to be hypnotized. But it's a lot harder, right, than getting consent. Now think of the consent. Inviting a vampire in your house or whatever. My job's easier if I can trick you into consent.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So why I brought up Gary Gygax before he did put the names of real spells. Now you could just say, okay, he's just doing research to make a cool, entertaining game. If we're gonna. I'm not condemning him. Even though that's what that was. It's basically like a Ouija board by Parker Brothers.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know what this is?

[Kurt Metzger]

They're tricking you. Or baseball. Baseball.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hold on.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is where they're tricking you into manual. They're doing a sigil magic at a grand scale. So that's why the Illuminati card game that people go, why is it predictable? And when I finally looked into the shit with it. Oh, of course, Robert Anton Wilson and his Discordia Church are involved. That swirl, by the way, is like their search for. I thought it was just pedo shit, but it's a search. Whatever dimension they go in, they only find a new formula. And they don't find God like they want to. So fucking. Anyway. He's doing chaos magic. Robert Anton Wilson. Those books about the Illuminati. Because. And I could tell by, like, first of all, the first book, I'm like, get to it. Oh, you're going to tell me a lot of interesting stories. All right, I'll listen. I'm going through it. Then I get to the part where his daughter dies, and I think he. I think. In my opinion, he sacrificed her because he comes off like Eric Clapton singing Tears in Heaven. He's friends with Uri Geller, Dr. Puharich, who's a piece of shit. Okay? He's dead now.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't know. Pujarich is.

[Kurt Metzger]

His son is on Danny Jones, Julian Dory and Jesse Michaels. Talking about the Nine. You know the Nine?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. You do? Well, only because you've explained it to me.

[Kurt Metzger]

But you've heard the Nine. Okay? They're alien. Put the nine. Dr. Puha. I mean, I don't know how you can spell Puhari.

[Duncan Trussell]

Puhachiri.

[Kurt Metzger]

P U H A R I C H. And I texted Jesse Michaels after this, who was a guest on our show in the future, in their past episodes. We did.

[Duncan Trussell]

What is it, Pooh?

[Kurt Metzger]

P U h A r Puah Chari Ch. He's basically Professor X, so.

[Duncan Trussell]

My Andrea. Andrea. Poor each.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, that's the guy. Then. The Council of Nine. Ever hear the Galactic Federation?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, sure, of course.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Where'd you hear about it?

[Duncan Trussell]

From Star Trek.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, yeah, that's one. But I mean, the one that people started saying was real.

[Duncan Trussell]

You mean like that? You're talking about, like, the alien comes

[Kurt Metzger]

from a lot of Israelis. First of all, all, by the way, either Georgia, I think it's. It's either Sitchin or maybe Sitchin. Not a Damsky. Yeah. Zachariah Sitchin was a Russian Zionist.

[Duncan Trussell]

This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by the mushroom wizards at Amantara, my friends, as you know by now, in this incredible episode with Kurt Metzger, that there are invisible things that are right there in front of you, but you pass them every day. Mysterious things that are hidden in plain sight, and not all of them are bad. It is incredibly fascinating to me that a powerful, psychedelic mushroom that has been used for centuries by a variety of people around the planet somehow made it into Super Mario Brothers. It's like a little wink from the universe that these things are in people's yards. Little ceramic red and white mushrooms that happen to be representations of Amanita muscaria, an incredible psychoactive medicine that works on the GABA receptors. You know, we all want to wind down, everybody does. And so some of us, we use booze, some of us, we use other things to chill out. But as we know, these things are disastrous. The next day you wake up feeling like a witch, shit on your face. It doesn't have to be that way. My experience with Amanita since getting Amantara as one of my sponsors has been incredible. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that these things that I'd seen in gas stations, that these things that I just assumed probably don't do anything at all, produce this really wonderful, beautiful chilled out feeling. It's incredible and I think you should check it out. It works on the GABA system, the brain's primary calm sleep regulator. And it's not psychedelic in the psilocybin sense. It's a different compound. Muscomol, different experience entirely. But here's the good news. It's legal everywhere in the US federally right now. No dependency, no hangover, no next day tax. For me, it's just this very chilled out, wonderful euphoric feeling that I could sleep on. Gives you cool dreams too. Also, if you're thinking, well, yeah, I'll just go down to my local gas station where I've seen it or some headshot. Don't do that. I've tried that. It's very different. Very different. After experiencing the Amantara Amanita, I thought, yeah, it's gotta all be the same. And I fucked up and got it at some weird ass head shop and had a horrible experience. And also that could be quite dangerous because God knows what you're actually taking. Go to Amantara. They're the largest importer and supplier in the US. Third party tested, clean sourcing, education first. They've got over 60,000 happy customers. And Christian, the founder, used Amanita personally to get off benzodiazepines. This is personal for them, not just a product. If you're at all curious, here's what you do. Click the link in the description. It's amantara.com godtfh. That link takes you to exclusive bundles built specifically for people trying this for the first time. Not just the general storefront first timer bundles. Click that link and then use code DUNCAN11 at checkout. That gets you an additional 11% off the already discounted bundle price. So you're getting a deal on top of a deal. That's an inception deal. Amantara.com go dtfh link in the description code duncan11 start low. Pay attention. It's one of those things you'll dial in for yourself. All right. Now that I've introduced you to a Holy Grail floating right there in front of you, it's time to get back to Kurt.

[Kurt Metzger]

Working for the reason he could write them books and work with whatever the fuck he worked with. Was Rockefeller behind it? Who's also behind the current disclosure rock. Lawrence Rockefeller. The scumbag Rockefeller.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hold on. Let's go one point at a time here, man. The idea of the nine. Let's see. First became widely known in the 1950s through a scientist named Dr. Andreja Puarich, a respected inventor and researcher into the powers of the mind. During a session with an Indian mystic named Dr. D.G. vinod, something unexpected happened. A group of entities calling themselves the Nine began speaking through the mystic, claiming to the ancient cosmic intelligence who have guided humanity since the beginning of time. Now you might be thinking this sounds like some New Age.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm gonna stop you right there. New Age nonsense. That meditation space in the UN that is New Age nonsense. The purpose of New Age nonsense and particularly preys on women and dudes are kind of a little bit swishy. Is pure right brain. It is designed from top to bottom by hardcore Satanists. Okay. Mark Pasio on my. When he last time he was on who used to run the grotto in Philly for Anton lavey.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I love the guy because he. I go way out there. He don't go as far as I said.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

But he tells you the nuts and bolts and his people from all walks of life are in this shit. And they. And they were going, boy, where do you see the new New Age shit? So they're taking little bits just like Blatovsky, as you call her did Plato. I'm taking bits of your spiritual traditions. I'm alchemically making them into a new thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then I'm selling to your dumbass. The goal being you're going to be my slave. Religio means to constrain. Okay. So I'm not. I believe in God. And I just said Jesus.

[Duncan Trussell]

You love Jesus. This.

[Kurt Metzger]

Who. Why wouldn't I?

[Duncan Trussell]

I do too.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay? And it has to do with the nine is why. Okay, so here's the. Now he already is skipping A massive chunk of history that I got from Mark Windows. Windows on the World podcast, if you want to be educated on ancient Egyptian crowd control, which is what magic is. So who are the Nine? Now? Had I not seen Mark's video and then look this up, It's a free book called the Dissociation. Dissociation, not dissociation. Dissipation of the Darkness. It came out in like 19. Oh something. Yeah, it's a guy who is an inner member of Freemasons and it's the secret history of where Freemasonry came from, which you never hear. But it's free online and anybody can find it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now, where does it come from?

[Kurt Metzger]

I'll tell you, if I had read this before I saw Mark Windows or had heard all this, the nine garbage, I would think it was just some anti Semitic thing from when people were paranoid. But I can't even find online saying that about it. People don't even mention it. Herod Agrippa. That's the grandson of the Herod that killed all the babies. Because.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

This astrogenetics thing goes back a long way. They. They read horoscopes. Real ones, not the ones you get as a idiot. You might be able to see a

[Duncan Trussell]

real one, not the newspaper ones. You know, you keep saying I'm in the bloodlines. You know what my answer to that is?

[Kurt Metzger]

What?

[Duncan Trussell]

You're a wizard.

[Kurt Metzger]

But again, you take it like I'm condemning you. I'm just telling you it is what it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm not condemning you. I just think you. You.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's a book called the Gospel. All Creatures, Clones, Hybrids, something. It's. It's. I swear to God, a book about how if you're a clone or a hybrid lizard or a. Or a chimera you can have. And it sounds like some have a movie. Like a. But that's somebody Christian as shit that made that, because that's a genuine no. Everybody gets a free choice of what they want. I really like that book. And it's somebody who's aware of these programs because guess what? The chimeras, we make them anyway. The 9. Herod Agrippa, close friends with Caligula.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's crazy.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, he was. He's a rich kid.

[Duncan Trussell]

And you want to see something cool? Josh, pull up Caligula's ring. Have you ever seen this shit?

[Kurt Metzger]

The thing fists you with.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, you could actually like this. They found Caligula's ring, I think. Caligula's ring. It's beautiful. It's ca it's not Caligula. Look at that sapphire. Look at this. Believe to depict. This is. Wow. How fucking cool is that? Wouldn't you like that ring? Look at that beautiful ring. Just look deep into that ring.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look. I don't care.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, look into the ring. Look into the ring, wizard. Do you see the ring?

[Kurt Metzger]

If I'm a wizard, why would I fall for that? Okay, so Herod Agrippa is the grandson of the Herod who killed all the kids to you know the story of the three Magi.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

A Magi is an Aryan wizard. Okay, so when you see magic, eyes only on that fake document. They're referencing Aryan wizards from Persia.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kurt Metzger]

The three Magi, or wise men.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wise men is what they do.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's what a wizard is.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's exactly what. That's why you should take what I'm saying as a compliment.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think you can look at me and see I'm a wise man. Okay. The. The three Magi were not like good guys or something. They were sent to tell Herod where Jesus in the story again. Hey, maybe it's all made up, I don't know. But the story is this. Herod is charting the stars because he does Babylonian black sigil magic. They all do this shit. They all, all the tippy top, the presidents, kings, all of them think they come. They're. They're the real star seeds. When you hear that dumb, right? And they're charting someone's going to be born that's going to interfere with some plan I have. Okay. Or someone's gonna be born that can threaten my power.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

And they make sure to get them killed. That's a. That's like a pre born assassination thing that goes back a long time. It's in the Bible, if you believe in the Bible. So anyway, the star that leads the three Magi to Christ.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, that ain't. That ain't a good guy or something.

[Duncan Trussell]

I just, I don't, I don't. I do not agree with your interpretation at all. This is terrible. You're trying to say the three Magi were snitches?

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, no, they ended up going, oh, this is the. The story is that they go there, talk about the intentions.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

But so Kreis gets born anyway. Okay. And this as you know, parallels the Moses story where they come 100%.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, baby.

[Kurt Metzger]

But the reason it parallels is because there's a practice going on for a long time is how I would take it. So this always goes on.

[Duncan Trussell]

And well, the practice being we need to eliminate any emergence of something that. That breaks the hypnotic.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's all. Now why. And I really thought about like, okay, what's the mechanics of that? And it's like we know when these. The positions of various shit's going on in the sky, a certain radio station's coming in and somebody who's got the right genetics is going to pick up that radio station.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

You get it, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. We gotta. We gotta avoid that at all costs. Imagine if Herod had 23andMe. Holy fucking shit. Like back then they had to use. Sometimes when I'm thinking about everyone sending their DNA, I do get. I think about Herod because I think about like.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, not that Herod. That's. That's the grandpa.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, you know what I mean? I think. Okay, wait. This is important practice you're talking about. The suppression.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's well known, in fact Hamilton from Hamilton Pharmacopeia talks about the CIA giving those horoscope computers to third world leaders who all believe in that. And the. And. And the computers would tell them things that we want them to think. Okay, Whoa. Oh. Being a spy or an intel agent is called the dark arts because that's what it is.

[Duncan Trussell]

So you, you give them some kind of computer that can manipulate them. That's insane. Well, thank goodness that isn't happening right now that we're not being given some technology. Okay, you said that would be terrible.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yesterday in the car you said. Said the thing that's right is forcing us into 2D anyway, okay, so the nine in this book, the Dissipation of the Darkness. Herod and his eight friends. One of them is named Hiram Abuel

[Duncan Trussell]

A B I D. I thought it was Abib.

[Kurt Metzger]

Abiff. Here's what they did. So Christianity is spreading at a crazy rate. Now you probably have talked to people that will tell you about Caesar's Messiah where like Caesar invented Christ out of whole cloth to control make people not.

[Duncan Trussell]

I've heard that bullshit, okay?

[Kurt Metzger]

Now here's why I don't believe it, because I don't believe in. You can look right around you today and you can see top down things. They only work for so long, okay? Like blm, that's a top down NGO thing to gin up. And then they put bricks out for people.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, the bricks.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then, and then now you're. Now. And everybody's traumatized. We take one. That happens all the time. And by the way, again, cops kill white. White guys more the most. Not black guys. I'm not trying. It's not a Contest. But that's the fact.

[Duncan Trussell]

Why do you hate cops?

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't. We're gonna miss them when. When those Tesla bots come in. I promise you that. So. So yeah, you know. Oh, maybe we should have had humans and maybe paid them right, I guess. If you don't pay them right, you get corrupt cops, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

When a robot dog is fucking dragging you into a. A hole.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, dude, you can't spray it. You know, like nets.

[Duncan Trussell]

Like I mentioned to you, nets solves a little problem.

[Kurt Metzger]

So here's how I view the spread of Christianity so quickly. In that in ancient time is populism. Okay, what are the elites all hate? First of all, populism is a word invented as an insult by the elites back. Back when.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, right. It's always an insult.

[Kurt Metzger]

So think of all the times poor, and this has happened many times, but they successfully break it up. Poor white farmers and blacks put aside, they don't like each other officially because they're ordered not to like each other, and then go, hey, I think we're getting screwed here. I mean, you could.

[Duncan Trussell]

You could Fred, as a Marx call that class consciousness. Like, you start recognizing, like, the brilliant.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's right. And now you have to understand, though, we're doing dialectic, so the same people that are. Are. The whole goal of this is actually a feminine kind of practice. Because what you're doing is if you're being a funny comic on stage.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

You're doing a. Actually a feminine energy power, which people don't get that if I'm doing it right. The times I do well at it, it's not a lot, but when I do, I notice it. Yeah, because it sounds different. Because they're laughing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I become the room. So there's nothing you could do to me because I'm the room, motherfucker.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right. You blink, you. I've seen it. I know exactly what you mean.

[Kurt Metzger]

So you're absorbing them all this dumb shit. I. I stole this from Mike Malice. And there ain't no way Mike don't know these principles I'm gonna get. He's gonna admit he knows him. I know he knows them because I stole this from him when he would wear a costume and go on Rogan or any dude. You crack me up wearing a ghillie suit at the start of COVID I texted Joe. That was one of the funniest things that made me laugh so much. And Malice does something so funny because he'll be wearing some, like, stupid thing and you forget he has it on while he's talking and then you remember again. So some people like I understand why does he have that on?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh my God.

[Kurt Metzger]

In the comments. Some. And then when I would watch it, I would be like. Because he do. I love hanging out with him. He's an interesting dude. So we would talk. So I'll forget he's got this dumb shit. And then I remember it makes me laugh.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. That's called projecting your domain.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

If you want to be an anime queer domain expansion. If you want to be a little fairy that likes anime domain expansion. It's from some fucking.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't that. Don't the pickup artists call it framing. I saw this.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, what? Say that. What?

[Duncan Trussell]

Sam Hyde had all.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yo. They call it frame. What? Say that again. They call it framing.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think.

[Kurt Metzger]

I think that's exactly what I'm talking about.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can you pull up? I. We probably can't show it. Pull up. Sam. Sam Hyde. I don't know what his new podcast is. It looks so funny. Pull up. Sam Hyde with pickup artists. It's really funny.

[Kurt Metzger]

Pickup artists are a massive. That's a form of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's probably a low level neuro Linguistic programming.

[Kurt Metzger]

That is magic.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's magic. And all my. All my other wizard friends tell me that too. What was it called? Yeah. With pickup artists. I think this is it. Hopefully you can find on YouTube probably. Pull. It's Sam. No, pull up.

[Kurt Metzger]

He is so he's teaching women to be funny.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, it's not that one. It's newer.

[Kurt Metzger]

Go.

[Duncan Trussell]

Go back. Go.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, this?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, go to the top one. Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's his pickup artist outfit.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's a new one. You're not going to be able to find it because it's Sam.

[Kurt Metzger]

Look, I'm gonna figure what I'm gonna say. So. Okay, so it's a feminine thing to do. That. It's a feminine. So you know Odin, he is missing one eye because he learned how to do magic.

[Duncan Trussell]

The all father and.

[Kurt Metzger]

But it's a big deal that he learned magic because traditionally in that culture, magic is for women. Oh now the Ira. The irony is so few women are good. The women that are good at stand up are good at it, but the ones that are not good at are not. Because ironically they don't understand. It's a feminine energy that you're putting out.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's receptive people. It's not.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'm tricking. So is judo. I mean a lot of things are that right, Ben? Like the reed is. Okay, I can't get you to go on this. So I like flow like water. You understand?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

So that's what all that shit is.

[Duncan Trussell]

But that's it.

[Kurt Metzger]

So. And by the way, society set up to make you, you know, the unity of opposites is the dialectic thing. I want to point this out. Male and female are not opposite. What a stupid thing to say. They're not fire and water. Male and female are complementary like salt and pepper. You understand?

[Duncan Trussell]

Sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

They're not opposite. So the first lie you're getting from high up occultists on purpose to split your brain into retard sections so that you could have a channel on here where like the dumbest guys and one kind of smart guy and the dumbest fat argue about what's wrong with relationships.

[Duncan Trussell]

So dumb.

[Kurt Metzger]

It has nothing to do with shit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. But that's the goal. And, and so people that start learning this, what I realize some people instinctively can do this without. So you know Steve Byrne, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Sure.

[Kurt Metzger]

So Steve Byrne, because he got. Yeah, I'm sitting there, he does this, like, bit where like some lady sits and he brings people from the audience to, like, dance. I. I was waiting for the next show to go on, and I look up and I'm like, oh, she doing a hypnotist act. Because perfect strangers from the crowd are going up and they're dancing like crazy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And there's lights.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And Steve's got a very good voice, right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

He has the voice like out of Dune. He's got the voice.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And Steve was always a charming guy. He always got hot, girl. I remember. I know a long time. He was always like a guy, like if you were going out with the boys or whatever, he'd be a good guy to have. Right. So he's just unconsciously doing. I asked him if he took hypnotism because he's been in Vegas, right. So what? No. And I was like, dude, that's exactly what they. That bit you do. It was just like a bit, but it looked like I thought they were gonna start being a chicken or something.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

And. And so there's people that, you know, some guys are good at picking up chicks and some aren't. And mystery. And those people were teaching guys how to do nlp.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

They don't normally have it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right. But yeah, they call it. At least in this one, it was really funny. Cause it was like one of those pickup artists accusing Sam Hyde of. Or just saying you're framing is. It's actually maybe a little different from what you're talking about. Frame.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, framing is a Great term, pulling

[Duncan Trussell]

someone back into your bubble.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yes, that's exactly you. You live in my domain.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

So now. Now. And you've been trained your whole life in the way narratives work. So now I'm the main character. Yeah, right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Hold on, wait, hold on. I gotta look at something. We have time. Cool. I don't have to. I'm fine.

[Kurt Metzger]

So the nine, by the way, in this book, Dissipation in the Darkness. It's about. They weren't called Freemasons, they were called the mace. It was called masonry. It's based on the Temple of Solomon mythology.

[Duncan Trussell]

Rebuilding it.

[Kurt Metzger]

But I want to point out Solomon, when he started doing magic, that's when he was the bad guy of the story. Everyone, we all, whoever claims to be a believer in and read this should know that. I don't know why I have to. As a guy who's not a member of anything, explain it. But I do.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're just so close, Wizard. You're just so close. But. But like it's. You're so close you're already practicing magic.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, I got full license from God to do what I'm doing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, that's what got got like. That's just.

[Kurt Metzger]

I know God ain't. It's in there. Don't. Don't do that. The reason you don't do that is because it's like don't go on the Dark Web and jerk off to porno as you find there. Without a. You know, you're going into a. The astral is a place that you don't know about because you're fucking blind.

[Duncan Trussell]

But you go there. No, come on.

[Kurt Metzger]

Not willingly.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't act like you haven't been there.

[Kurt Metzger]

I have been there. I know, not willingly ever. But as a. Having them recurring. If you have.

[Duncan Trussell]

How did you end up there?

[Kurt Metzger]

Recurring dreams.

[Duncan Trussell]

But you don't think you did that willingly.

[Kurt Metzger]

I know I didn't. It was terrifying. It was horrible.

[Duncan Trussell]

What did you not like about it?

[Kurt Metzger]

I guess the witch waiting to kill me and all. Well, not kill me, but get my fear up to a certain level. Then dig her fucking nails under my armpits and hold me up And.

[Duncan Trussell]

Do you know about Mall world?

[Kurt Metzger]

Yes, because Dr. Heather Lynn told me about it. And the chick, that is the. What's her name? Sad as hell. The one that from Tony Show. She was a gay kid.

[Duncan Trussell]

Have you ever been there?

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't believe so.

[Duncan Trussell]

But in the Astral Realm. Mall world.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's not really a mall, but if

[Kurt Metzger]

you've ever been there, it's a lot more about sewer pipes and fucking.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's just a city.

[Kurt Metzger]

It sounds like a Nickelodeon.

[Duncan Trussell]

You ever been there?

[Kurt Metzger]

No. Well, I don't know what I. I'm

[Duncan Trussell]

just curious because, like, no doubt you've, like. You know, the astral dream, when you go. We. I agree with you, by the way. I. I absolutely don't like it whenever I end up there. And. And I.

[Kurt Metzger]

You have been to mall worlds.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know I've been to the. I've had astral dreams and I don't. I really. How.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. Why would you say it's astral? Because I have a specific reason why I would say mine would be. But. And I don't know for you, but I think. Why the ones I had. I think that I have a reason.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, number one, it's completely distinct from other dreams. Like, it's a completely different thing. There's a.

[Kurt Metzger]

In what way?

[Duncan Trussell]

A lucidity to the beings that are over there that you don't have in other dreams. There's a distinction, a differentiation from. Your most regular dreams. I have are kind of like a.

[Kurt Metzger]

You know, you figure them out later.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's swirling, you know, just sort of like astral dreams have this very focused, like, clarity to them.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, if you could keep going to one loca. So in a dream, I don't know if, you know, like most dreams, like, you can't go back to a place you were just at.

[Duncan Trussell]

And that's exactly right. When you return to these places and it's the same place.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's a very strange thing. So. Okay. I told you I had the hag, the night hag. For years.

[Duncan Trussell]

I didn't know you were dealing with that bitch.

[Kurt Metzger]

Akrat Bhat Mahalat, I think is what you were getting.

[Duncan Trussell]

The hag sitting on your chest.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, so much worse than that. No, it's like that movie Weapons, the horror movie. That was his name. Made from the kids. Wise kids, you know, pull up weapons. You can see. Yeah, it's a good movie.

[Duncan Trussell]

I never saw it.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yo. And also Mulholland Drive. The.

[Duncan Trussell]

The Mulholland Drive. There you go. That's a better for. That's exactly right. Okay. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Okay, great. So there you are.

[Kurt Metzger]

So I would terrify me so much.

[Duncan Trussell]

Mulholland Drive.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, right. They terrify me so much that I started lucid dreaming because the fear. The fear would make me realize it was a dream. I was that scared.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. And then I would start flying to get away from her in my dream. I would fly to people I know and be like, check out, I'm flying.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And they would never look.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I'd be like. Like this, right? And it wouldn't look right. And it used to be like. It used to bother me. And then I'm like, oh, did I project? And I'm. They. Of course they're not gonna see me, right? But. But like I said, I don't know. I did used to wake up screaming quite a lot as an adult and say crazy things like, there's a laser in my eye. Jay. I'll tell you, if you talk to Big Jay and ask him. Shit I would do, dude. And I would wake up in my 20s a lot and I would have this feeling. I remember saying, I don't even believe in a soul like this, but I would have. I feel like my soul was being pulled out of my butt. So I wake up like I'm putting. Grabbing me back in.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, it's scary. Okay, so wait, did you get the vibrations? Do you feel like your body was going. Very common in those dreams. That's like in Journeys out of the Body. That. That's like a very.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't remember if I got the. I don't know if I can remember the vibrate. I know the vibration you're talking about, and I don't. If I felt that. I don't remember it. I really. So you know. Oh, there's the Chinese man. No, it was the. The chick that plays the witch. She's very good. Pull up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Mall world, Josh. Mall World, like dream, recurring dream.

[Kurt Metzger]

This is like the wall world thing is specifically with like lightly colored. Here, wait, I'll read it.

[Duncan Trussell]

There you go. Right there. That's a good. It's basically like. Yeah, it feels like the back room's kind of like one reason people like the back rooms.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, I get chased by a big giant head that was floating, looking for me. And I had. Running through the mall and in the

[Duncan Trussell]

limited mall type, liminal reality space, but like the astral realm is like. There's all these little, I think, sort of locations in it where.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, if you've ever been a little kid, going to malls as a kid. And so if you think about it, I don't really know what it is, but everybody as a little kid has been to stores like that, at least in America. And you like. So we all have a construct in our heads.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's what I thought too.

[Kurt Metzger]

That is adding to the young birth date.

[Duncan Trussell]

When you're a kid at a point birthday party. It's kind of scary and weird So,

[Kurt Metzger]

I mean, it's fully possible. But the thing in Wall World specifically that I've heard where it's like every single fucking night, okay, I've heard that

[Duncan Trussell]

like Crowley's, you can find actual statues that like people like Crowley have built out there, like monuments and stuff that they can. They've constructed little temples and sites that you can go to. I never went to one of those.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, here we go. Mall World. Some people in my discord discussing the Mall World dream and brought up bacteria. Worm goo world. They said there's a Reddit about a recurring dream where people are trapped in a flat white room and getting engulfed in electric worms self replicating from various colored goo. And it came with a bad smell. And what's her name had the dream and it was like a sewer. She was in. In the mall. I was like, whoa. And so there's.

[Duncan Trussell]

I bend it now. Okay, hold on, let me just stop you there. When I was having this spate of dreams, going there. Thank God they've stopped. That there is. I've been. I've been to this sewer there. I started. I've been to the. I know what you're talking about. It's a horrible place. I've been there.

[Kurt Metzger]

Would you know anything else about it?

[Duncan Trussell]

It was like. From what I recall, it's. It's like, you know, sewer tunnels. It's a subterranean sludgy sewer tunnels where there were these two horrible human beings in the fucking gloop. They were sitting in it, enjoying it. They liked sitting in the muck and the filth. And they were like, what's horrible about these dreams?

[Kurt Metzger]

That's okay, go ahead.

[Duncan Trussell]

They're aware of you. Like, that's what's really horrible about it is they're aware of you. And this. What's also horrible about it is this place, as miserable as it is, it does have a magnetic quality to it. You kind of like it. It's like. It's hard to explain.

[Kurt Metzger]

There's a sense of what the name of the guy?

[Duncan Trussell]

Freedom or something there. That's not here. There's a sense of like when. Like when the pandemic happened, you know, where. Like it was horrible, but then also

[Kurt Metzger]

everything's kind of went to like, Nurgle's Garden from 40K.

[Duncan Trussell]

Nurgle's Garden. I don't know what that is.

[Kurt Metzger]

The God of rot and decay. And he has a garden of disgusting. And he's the. They call him the grandfather because it's lore.

[Duncan Trussell]

It was more sub. It was more like a literal. Like there's the place has like a. It has. It looks intentional, it looks built. It. You know what I mean? It didn't. And I've. As far as I could recall, it's only like shitty apartments with beings in it. Like with people in it. Like.

[Kurt Metzger]

Wait, do you say apartments?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, yeah, there's apartments there. There's people live there.

[Kurt Metzger]

You ever have. There's a really. Okay, so there's only a few where I have. Where I'm like. They stand out from other things that are dreams to me. Right. But one where it's like a city that is. It's definitely underground. Everything's black. There's light. Little lights come out of the windows and shit. But it's like a. I don't describe it as like this black fucking city.

[Duncan Trussell]

Horrible place.

[Kurt Metzger]

It didn't feel horrible. Felt like it wouldn't be that bad. When you talk about the magnetism of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, it should know. That's the thing.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's like if you were going to New York City's soul, that it's cool,

[Duncan Trussell]

but you don't want it. You. It's cool. And it's also like the beings that live there, at least the ones in it totally have met the same people there a few times.

[Kurt Metzger]

Let me pee and I'll tell you

[Duncan Trussell]

about the ninth plug, the Mystery Boys, which releases what's next Thursday 21st. The 21st. Okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

You want that old promo again? What's old? Promo of the MK Ultra episode. It made a great promo.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, send me that and I'll play it at the beginning. Well, yeah, I'll play at the beginning.

[Kurt Metzger]

They better use the songs I made for the show. Remember that?

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm sure they will. They're really good at that. Okay, let's do it.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. All right, so here's the Nine.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wait, hold on. And we're back.

[Kurt Metzger]

But yeah, this is a real tinkle I had, right? Hey, Three Claw podcast. We did it, boys.

[Duncan Trussell]

Fuck yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

The nine. Here's what the nine are, and the nine pop up in the game Destiny 2. Or probably Destiny. They pop up everywhere. It's a sci fi trope, the Nine Galactic Council. But nobody knows what they are. Well, guess what? In Dissipation of the Darkness, it's Herod Agrippa and his eight friends who invented the Masons, and his friend Hiram Abuel, who ends up being killed by wild dogs. Like, he disappeared. They couldn't find him. They found his body. And you know, people get killed by dogs back then randomly.

[Duncan Trussell]

Those are rough times.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. They as a Tribute. They, they go. The Hiram Abiff fucking story right now.

[Duncan Trussell]

I didn't know. Is this different from the Hiram.

[Kurt Metzger]

He's Hiram Ab U l hyrum Abiff is made up. Shut the fuck up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Shut up.

[Kurt Metzger]

Stupid bitch.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck? It's different from the. It's two different Hirams is what I'm trying to establish here.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, well, one's fictitious based on as a tribute to their friend. But. So the problem was Christianity was spreading very quickly. Okay?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And he, Herod Agrippa is King of the Jews. Do you know how he died, by the way? He was eaten up by worms from the inside of his body while he was people in the the Coliseum like he's a God. He came out with bling on. What? It's in the Bible. What is? I don't remember what book it is, but you can find it. So he create. He's a Babylonian black magician, you understand? And him and his eight friends, okay, they call themselves the Nine or the Chained Nine because they have made an oath that is so heavy no one can ever get out of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

So when you're contacting them, I bet you're contacting a bunch of old Jews from back in fucking what the fuck? And that makes sense as to why there's so much. All the UFO shit has Israeli stink all over it.

[Duncan Trussell]

How so?

[Kurt Metzger]

Third Eye Atlas from Avi Loeb.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up that Israeli. There's like an Israeli general.

[Kurt Metzger]

Galactic Federation is what I like you put up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull up, pull up. Wait, pull up. There's an actual Israeli high ranking officer talking about this thing that you're talking about.

[Kurt Metzger]

He's from unit, it's like 82 or something. That's the Israeli Psyop division.

[Duncan Trussell]

Israeli officers saying contact.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait.

[Duncan Trussell]

Galactic Federation saying Galactic Federation.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yo, the Galactic Federation bullshit has been connected to Israel for years, since like 47, you know, whenever it was founded. Isn't that weird?

[Duncan Trussell]

Hamashed, the former head of Israel's Defense Ministry Space Directorate claimed in a Yeti yacht or in that interview that a Galactic Federation of Extraterrestrials exist. He alleged that U.S. and Israeli officials have been in contact with him, citing a secret Mars base and a desire by aliens to avoid mass hysteria.

[Kurt Metzger]

If you're into tech, you'll love this.

[Duncan Trussell]

TikTok is a live lab where users post instant reviews of the latest trends. Download TikTok and check it out. I'm Kiana and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us. You know and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business. But Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[Kurt Metzger]

Start your free [e-mail] so think of how there's 10 missing scientists now and I'm gonna include the guy from Gaia 13 and that chick. That chick is the one to look into the one who disappeared.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah right.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't remember her name is but Red Koala Panda posts a lot of great on Twitter. He it's not. Wasn't even a real interview. They were just talking on Zoom.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like how I did with Lynn Buchanan and has like. But he put it out we found anti gravity probably like 4 times 100.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah right.

[Kurt Metzger]

I don't mean we. I didn't do.

[Duncan Trussell]

But they did.

[Kurt Metzger]

Now Dr. Heather Lynn if you subscribe to our substack and you should was explaining about the broker class instead of the nhi. Think of the broker class like real estate brokers but of the universe.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[Kurt Metzger]

So at every level like a fractal.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

And energy can't be created or destroyed. Except there's going to be a heat death of the universe and there's entropy. How's that possible?

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

How someone's skimming off the top like a casino.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well.

[Kurt Metzger]

Or like a black fucking scum fuck parasite dragon blood families. They create entropy and they. They use the energy. They. That's how they live. The same way Israel exists. By creating on purpose. Anti Semitism that is a fuel because Jews never wanted to live in Israel. They want to live in New York which is. Or Hollywood. You know places that don't suck. But they needed to make people want to go there. They're still trying to do it now even though most of the Jews have any sense fled the out right People left now are those whack job settlers. That one guy that in bread that looks like goofy.

[Duncan Trussell]

I got friends out there.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh they must be crazy.

[Duncan Trussell]

They're not crazy.

[Kurt Metzger]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

Who.

[Kurt Metzger]

Who's your friend? Oh, Larry Ellison. I'm kidding. Larry doesn't go there. The Rothschilds who Theodore Herzl convinced to get on board with this. I can't remember the which Rothschild he was like I don't care about that. Why would I care about. I'm doing great in England where I'm like rich.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I know what you mean. Though, I mean, it's. It must. It's like my friends who live out there is a terrifying place to live. You got sirens going off all the time. It's like obviously, like the epicenter that could start.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, my friend Roseanne. Roseanne Barr, who I haven't seen in a long time since Thanksgiving. Best one. Best Thanksgivings I ever had. Yeah. It was like the show. Remember the show credits when she's laughing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's how fun it was. Dude. I see Jake. I still see Jake, her son, who really love that guy.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I just. What a great time, man. And I wish I knew the. I knew now because Roseanne told me she was raised orthodox Jewish and Mormon and we're getting hot because it would be like a play date that Jake would stuff that I could hang out. I miss Roseanne. Anyway. He would. She goes. She goes, you know, I was raised in Orthodox Jewish and Mormon. And I went, that's weird. She was. Yeah, that was it. I didn't understand. I don't know. I don't know if she was trying to tell me something then or it just came out and I didn't have the eyes to. Or the ear. The eyes to hear it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, right. What was the message?

[Kurt Metzger]

She was satanically abused by her witch parents. Is the message. There ain't no such thing as orthodox Jewish and Mormon.

[Duncan Trussell]

I've never heard of that.

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, you have because the Charlie. When Charlie Kirk got kosher, slaughtered, which

[Duncan Trussell]

is mass ritual so insane, by the way. You'll find more about that on the Mystery Boys, premiering next Thursday.

[Kurt Metzger]

They're always going to kill Charlie Kirk. They were always going to kill him, but they were going to wait till he was president because when you do a king kill 33, we'll call it, based on what's his name's book.

[Duncan Trussell]

Marin's book.

[Kurt Metzger]

No, you're. I gave it to you. The Twilight language.

[Duncan Trussell]

Didn't Marin have a book called King Kill? No, Marin talks about King Kill. Forget it. It's another thing.

[Kurt Metzger]

Marin talks about King Kill, but he's that stupid about other things. I find that hard to believe belief.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, Marin, like, was like. Didn't like. Marin, like have like a. I think he wrote a book. What? Look up.

[Kurt Metzger]

You're talking about Jerusalem syndrome, which is a syndrome people get where they think they're the Messiah because they went to Jerusalem.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, I look up. Didn't Marin go nuts or something when

[Kurt Metzger]

he was hanging Jerusalem medicine with her? No. Jerusalem syndrome. That's what you're talking about. The book. I Read. He gave it to me when I met him. He gave me a signed copy of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

I didn't ask for it, but I was grateful to get it. Let me not imply I wasn't grateful get it, because I read it in one. Shit. It was that good book, very interesting. And that's a real syndrome. Jerusalem syndrome.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, I know. Yeah.

[Kurt Metzger]

People go.

[Duncan Trussell]

We go to Israel and they lose their. They think they're the Messiah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay, I don't think that's some like. I don't think that's a materialist explanation like some people would. But anyway, there's a lot of energy. A king when you kill the king. Now let's. Let's take all the hold out of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is good.

[Kurt Metzger]

The people that do this by doing a public execution message to the masses, ritual. The energy released by killing a king is the power to change reality itself, right? Now that sounds very fantastical, but it's not. JFK died. It changed reality. After 9 11, everything changed. Remember that canal? Remember that old fucking chestnut? Yeah, yeah, it sure did. They altered reality. I want to point out to everybody, I mean, I don't know who's dumb enough to think the Iran war went well or is going well or is going to stop.

[Duncan Trussell]

You'd have to be so dumb.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's just you'd have to be literally being paid to not notice what's in front of your dumb cunt face.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Which is why you see people acting like it wasn't a debacle from a controlled Manchurian Candidate president.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[Kurt Metzger]

Who faked, by the way. Butler is faked. I didn't want to believe it because a guy really died. And I know there's another side that don't like Trump. So why wouldn't they try to kill him? Nah, it's from Exodus. Blood on the right ear and the wrist and your ankle to signal you're a willing servant of Israel.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's some kind of initiation. More than that.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's Chabad. The Moonies of Jews.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

Chabad who my friend Modi talks glowingly about. He goes, what is just a network of Jews that fucking. Yeah, Modi you get. Keep trying to not be gay. Modi also, by the way. I'm sure it'll work.

[Duncan Trussell]

Who's Modi?

[Kurt Metzger]

A good guy like him. But I mean, he's.

[Duncan Trussell]

He's.

[Kurt Metzger]

It's sad to watch him talk about

[Duncan Trussell]

a lot of my ritual things up too, though, man.

[Kurt Metzger]

So Trump is a willing servant of Israel. That's why we're getting the Solomon Temple Ballroom. Again, this is not normal Jew shit. The Torah, Ari Shafir, they didn't do Kabbalah where Ari went to yeshiva. They didn't do that.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

He goes, well, that's some kind of like. And I know what he's talking about. It's exactly like if you grew up Christian. Hear this whack job shit that people say is Christian Kabbalah, okay? Which Roseanne is in and Jake is in. I know, I think Loriana Kabbalah because I text him to ask and he didn't text me back. And I bet it is that. That's not good. That's what Chabad is. So the genocide and the maniac things and the absolute insanity you're watching, it's

[Duncan Trussell]

like some kind of Jewish cult.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah, they're worse than the evangel people go, oh, the evangelical. No, I know the retard evangelicals here, those are just Noah hides. You know what a Noah hide is?

[Duncan Trussell]

No.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. Why? It's not anything a Christian would ever hear about.

[Duncan Trussell]

No.

[Kurt Metzger]

But Chabad comes up with the seven laws of Noah. That's from the Babylonian Talmud. So that's basically if you ever didn't like Muslims because they have Sharia law and you would be a dimmy that pays dimmy tax as a second class citizen for not being a Muslim.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay?

[Kurt Metzger]

That's the Jewish version called Noah Hyde.

[Duncan Trussell]

Noah.

[Kurt Metzger]

Yeah. So whatever you hear bad about a Muslim in Sharia law, just know that the fucking blessed motherfucking state of Israel has the same plan for you. It's called Noah Hyde. And you get your head chopped off like they're Muslims.

[Duncan Trussell]

What the fuck?

[Kurt Metzger]

That's why there's all this footage of them smashing. They turn that Jesus, you know, Lebanon, and they smashed.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. What the fuck was that?

[Kurt Metzger]

Well, I was.

[Duncan Trussell]

Pull that up, Josh. What was that like? Pull that up.

[Kurt Metzger]

I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I assume they just thought it was a Red Cross worker.

[Duncan Trussell]

They were doing that to Doctors Without Borders.

[Kurt Metzger]

They just thought they were found a Doctor Without Borders. So of course they crucified him upside down and hit his head with a sledgehammer. That's what Israel does.

[Duncan Trussell]

What was that?

[Kurt Metzger]

And we're at a very crazy point now, dude. Because even Sam Harris, one of the greatest thinkers of our time, because they. Okay, here's why they did it. So that Netanyahu could condemn it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh my God, that's so the dialectic. What the fuck?

[Kurt Metzger]

So now, now here's how magically trained every retard in this country is. And I blame Disney for this.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

Most people don't know that they. They just executed most of the population of Gaza. Men, women and children who did nothing. They don't care about real human lives. But this really offended a lot of people.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, let me stop you there, because this is what I think a lot of people don't understand. Or maybe you guys do. I don't know.

[Kurt Metzger]

Never mind the genocide. They broke a statue.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, right.

[Kurt Metzger]

That's called magic, you inverted fucking inbreds.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's the last straw. You broke something that looks like it should be at a Christian putt putt course.

[Kurt Metzger]

The Nine were a bunch of Zionist Babylonian black magicians that necromancers like Gene Roddenberry and your government.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[Kurt Metzger]

Talk to. So. And here's why. Here's what's amazing, because when someone debunks, they're gonna go, well, this. These traditions don't really go back. That's. It doesn't matter. They go back to the time. The scam goes back that far. And if you want to channel stuff, you'll hear the same scam. And I found example after example after example. Jesus had a wife, Mary Magdalene, and that was the key to everything. That's not the key to everything. That's absolute nonsense. If you believe that, you must be

[Duncan Trussell]

a fuck tart, right?

[Kurt Metzger]

Or a liar.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's pushing the Da Vinci Code shit.

[Kurt Metzger]

Like the Da Vinci Code shit is gibberish based on real. Tracy Twyman did that. Real research.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right?

[Kurt Metzger]

So I would suggest you look that up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, wait. Unfortunately, I have to go to my job after this, so.

[Kurt Metzger]

Okay. A bunch of sick fuck from back in Atlanta days. They were humans or whatever. The transhumans are trapped in a 2D plane or prison like General Zod from Superman Part 2. Now, what happens if I squish Duncan down in two dimensions? You break off into splinters. So Baphomet is a splinter of Cain in her cosmology, and I think she's not wrong.

[Duncan Trussell]

Shattered fragments of dark gods.

[Kurt Metzger]

And then we put parasites in you to tune into those so they can look through your eyes and eventually take you over. And the externalization of the hierarchy will be these implanted parasite possessed people with the old gods in them. Get ready for it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Find out more about this very important new discovery.

[Kurt Metzger]

The Nine are a bunch of old Jews.

[Duncan Trussell]

We're gonna find out about the Nine.

[Kurt Metzger]

Not the good Torah kind, the Kabbalah kind.

[Duncan Trussell]

Can I say that you support Israel, please?

[Kurt Metzger]

The modern state of Israel? What do you mean I support It. I pay taxes, so. Of course I do.

[Duncan Trussell]

Thank you. And we. You gotta watch on Thursday.

[Kurt Metzger]

If you paid taxes, you support Israel.

[Duncan Trussell]

Exactly. And keep paying those taxes. Let's show that Mystery Boys promo on the way out. Thanks for coming on the show, man. Thanks. I can't wait for people to see what we've been working on. Next time on mystery boys. This is a Mystery Boys. We. We tell the truth. She looks like beautiful woman.

[Kurt Metzger]

The bad guy from True Lies.

[Duncan Trussell]

That beautiful woman. A beautiful woman.

[Kurt Metzger]

Could you pull up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Let's show the next video. Beautiful Woman, please.

[Kurt Metzger]

Who wore it best?

[Duncan Trussell]

Beautiful woman. Are we at the Brown party? We must thank great people who brought us MK Ultra and all the wonderful. Not just, like, psychological technologies, the Nazis. What? Kurt.

[Kurt Metzger]

Kurt. And we're back.

[Duncan Trussell]

And again, I. You know, I don't want to get woke on everybody.

[Kurt Metzger]

Please, please don't. That is the last thing we need in this house.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't. I want to get woke. Oh, not funny, J.D.

[Kurt Metzger]

vance.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, I'm laughing so hard.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, yeah, there's really people that look like that.

[Duncan Trussell]

So this.

[Kurt Metzger]

What do you want to live in some of these communist countries where they tell you what to do and think? Or do you want to live in a country that we, you know, know, they. You don't get to know that they're doing that to you.

[Duncan Trussell]

And continuing until approximately 1970. Now, MK Ultra is very misunderstood. Nothing confidential.

[Kurt Metzger]

Some things I just like are for me and you and not for like.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is what those kids smelled when they open the wardrobe to nar.

[Kurt Metzger]

Oh, but I.

[Duncan Trussell]

Boys, that was Kurt Metzger, everybody. Subscribe to his podcast, the Derp with Kurt or subscribe to both of us on the Mystery Boys, which is premiering next Thursday, the 21st on YMH. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.