Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace Podcast is hosted by me, Becky Kolb. I help parents who are estranged from their kids - whether a small child or adult. Estrangement is often called the silent epidemic because people bury their emotional pain deep inside. It's difficult to talk about and you don't want to burden your friends with your sad story. And you may feel guilt and shame like I did and that just exacerbates the issue.

You struggle to make sense of a child you loved and cared for since birth has abandoned a relationship with you. And you may also battle family (or ex-family) who sides against you and contributes to the estrangement. In either case, you are blamed.

My estrangement came in two instances. As an infant when my biological father left me and my mother and later in life when I divorced and gave up an adopted daughter. And then post-divorce, my ex-husband was killed in a one car rollover and I was blamed. Wrought with guilt and shame, the estrangement lasted 7 years and my son and his family are still distant.

Growing up in a Christian family, I struggled with some of the decisions I made and even more so with family who judged and rejected me. I felt God was judging me and had also abandoned me. But it was during that estrangement that God pursued me and overwhelmingly poured out his love and mercy and forgiveness.

The God I thought rejected me was standing with arms wide open waiting for me to turn around. Consequences from some of my decisions lingered but his love and forgiveness carried me through. It was a relationship God wanted with me. Not religion. It was life changing. And it's what brought about reconciliation and restoration of my family. Relationships today that are stronger than ever before.

I felt a strong sense or call to share my story. God seemed to be impressing upon me that I had suffered guilt, shame and estrangement and so do others. He wanted me to share his influence with me and how he could help others like you too.

My own story of estrangement is steeped in my faith and the amazing things God did for me and my family as we reconciled. I share that story in podcasts and blogs, but it isn't something I push on anyone. I coach people with other faith beliefs too and have a deep respect for everyone's decision and right to religious freedom.

CONNECT with me at www.beckykolb.com
DOWNLOAD my story at: www.beckykolb.com/guide

15: Moving Past the Shame of Estrangement

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