Each one of us needs to think about how to be a hospitable Christian on social media.

For complete show notes, head to Everyday Welcome.

In episode 41, we talked about our need to be seen. When we're irritated and rightly angry at others wanting to be "seen" in their sin, we need to remember that we all really want to be "seen," and often our desire for it leads us to sin. We talked about social media and how it reflects this innate desire in each of us - but how God already sees us, and what that looked like in scripture.

Today let's down together a little bit more about how we can be hospitable, or invite meaningful interaction, online. Whether that's comments and conversations we're having on Facebook or Instagram, or the content we're creating and posting, or what we're re-sharing, we have maybe unprecedented opportunity to glorify God to a huge audience, with our online interactions.

The words we speak say volumes about where we stand in relationship with God, they have incredible power for influence in truth and in love, and they even affect our own emotional and physical well-being.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." -Proverbs 16:24

"For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." - Luke 6:43-45

I want to begin by saying it isn't necessary that we speak at all online.

God tells us in several ways in scripture that having a gentle and quiet spirit, having patience to be quiet, and otherwise just keeping our mouths closed (see Ecclesiastes 3:7 and Proverbs 17:28), can be the most loving and God-honoring thing to do in a given setting. Having said that, I also believe that social media is our modern version of the quilting bee combined with the town square, and if we use it and use it wisely, we have a responsibility to be winsome and truthful, and even be willing to engage in conversations where we say hard things.

Not everyone agrees with me, but I actually think the online space gives us opportunities to speak the truth, in love, in ways never possible before, and I don't think Christians should be absent from what I see as a huge opportunity for meaningful communication.

It is a challenge to say the hard things with grace and love, but we must listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in us, even as we fill our minds with God's word, so that we identify what the truth IS in a given situation, and we can not be driven or influenced by fear.

If we choose to speak in the public sphere, and we're willing to think about how to be a hospitable Christian on social media, let's be intentional.

Here are some ways we can combat ungracious speech on social media, placing our trust firmly in God's work through our obedience:

Pray about it.
- Whatever the issue is that's on your heart or that you've read in a social post, pause and genuinely seek God's leading. Timing matters here - devote time before spouting off. Journal your thoughts on the matter and revisit them a day or two later, if at all possible. And speaking of time, take TIME to

Use Scripture as your foundation before speaking.
- What does the Bible have to say about this topic?
- Is it nuanced? Look for multiple places where the issue is addressed and get a rich view of how God says it's to be handled.
- Did one of the prophets, writers of scripture, or Biblical leaders address this topic or one that's related? What tone and actions did they use to speak to it?
Seek godly counsel.
- Go digging either in writing or in person to see what wise, seasoned believers have said or done in this realm. How have they approached it, either in person or publicly?

After taking these important steps to pray, seek the Bible for wisdom and looking for godly counsel, if God calls you to speak online, here are some guidelines to help you.

HOW TO SPEAK TO HARD TOPICS ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Be humble.
- Always be willing to listen and learn.
- Remember that God has graciously chosen to allow you to join Him in His work - but HE is the One who does the work.
- We can reflect the gentleness and humility God displayed if we're willing to say "I'm sorry," even when the point we are making is correct, when we have been unloving. You never know who's watching - we say much when we maintain a respectful tone, in a public conversation.
Set aside fear.
- It's vital for us to be willing to disagree with people and to not shy away from that hard conversation.
- "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me." (John 15:18-21)
Be prayerful about when to bring up topics.
- We will always, in the flesh, err in our communication, whether it's online or in person. But when we seek the Holy Spirit (in His Word) for direction and for equipping, we honor God and place ourselves in the way of His working. Psalm 141:3 says, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." The Psalmist knew what we need to remember - we need the Holy Spirit to lead us in speaking and in remaining silent.
Think about the person on the other side of the screen.
- What does he or she look like? What's his or her life experience? How might their experience lead them to hear what we have to say? As we begin to speak, we can continue to prayerfully ask God to help us see the person we speak to, or about, with His eyes.
Remember the goal is heart change.
- Our goal should not ever be "to win." I can't have the motivation of making myself more seen (listen to episode 41 for more on this), or just to shout down wrongs, so to speak. My heart's desire should align with God's, and His desire is that all might come to know and worship Him. When deciding what to record or type, I need to think in terms of what is loving and truthful, that God might use to transform hearts and wake up spiritually dead people.
Invite off-screen contact.
- This is huge, and I think, actually really important. Obviously, use wisdom with appropriate contact (if you're a woman, make sure you've included your husband and/or his wife or another godly person in any conversation with a man, for instance). But remember that on the other side of any screen, there's a real person and social media will always be secondary to real, person-to-person communication for moving past emotion or triteness, and into real-life, transformative connection.

John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world, that He gave Jesus to die for the forgiveness of sins of all who would repent and accept His free gift of salvation and follow Him. So knowing this about the God of the universe, we should let that be our driving force in online communication. We are all called to live the inviting life, and even social media can be a place we do that.

Behave Yourself: How To Be A Hospitable Christian on Social Media