← Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
28 things I learned by 28
00:50:26
It's bender season babes!! Hallie reflects on her own birthday... and how it's actually really embarrassing to celebrate it. Hallie talks about how recently she's been surrounding herself with people that cannot call it a night, and so she is going on benders until the sun comes up, but I guess this is 28!? Then Hallie gets into the 28 lessons she has learned by 28 (as written based off of plugging all of the episodes of Extra Dirty into ChatGPT). Enjoy the epi cookies, love you!! Muah! :kiss:
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All right, let's talk about Tinder. Or better yet, that deliciously deluded stage of having a new crush. When you have that kind of crush on someone, they could send you a hey, smiley face on the worst day of your life and boom, suddenly everything's okay. It's so true that a fun crush will have you romanticizing everything. They're just magic like that. And finding and feeling is easier than you think, thanks to Tinder. Explore all the possibilities yourself. Tinder. It starts with the swipe. Download Tinder today. A vibrator will never ghost you. A vibrator will never ghost you. But sometimes batteries do turn on you. I will say that there's nothing worse than when you are alone, using your vibrator and just dies on you. That could be worse than heartbreak. That could be the biggest betrayal I have ever encountered. Oh, you guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. How is everyone doing on this beautiful Thursday? I'm doing just fine. Just me today, me, myself and I. And I thought we'd just sit down and have a cute little chat. Just us. My birthday was on Tuesday. It'll be of last week when this episode comes out. My birthday was last week. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I love attention. Look at me. I'm looking at three cameras right now in the room. And obviously, like, I love attention. This is what I do for work. But I hate birthdays. There's something about birthdays that make me one spiral and to make me extremely uncomfortable, I want to compare it to like walking down the aisle as like a bride. That also looks kind of embarrassing to me. There's something about a bitch, like carrying on a birthday cake and all your friends sitting around staring at you with their phones out, saying happy birthday in a restaurant, and everyone's like turning their heads and like staring at you. That makes me super, like self conscious almost. Also, I feel like you either look at a birthday as oh my God. Like, I feel like people get really sensitive on their birthdays. Regardless if you're looking at the glass half full or half empty, I typically look at the glass half empty. Instead of being like, oh my God, I'm so thankful for life and I made it to 28 and look at all the people around me that love me. I tend to focus on the negative and like pinpoint and give attention to the things I haven't accomplished or the things I don't have, which is super negative. But that's just like how it is for me. So I really downplay birthdays. It's kind of like New Year's Eve almost to where you feel like there's a lot of high expectations and you're like really sensitive and then usually those high expectations aren't met. So going into this birthday, I just had no expectations and just like wanted my core people around me for like a girls dinner. And I feel like if I have that, then I don't need anything else. I don't need presents, blah, blah, blah. Although my parents were in town, we did do a massive shopping shopping hall, which always like makes me feel a bit better too. A little retail therapy and champagne and some R R with your parents. It really warms the soul. As the weather cools down, the pace picks up. Especially for entrepreneurs, October is your window to set yourself up for the busiest season of the year. Shopify is the best place to start and grow a business. Whether it be a side hustle or a storefront selling locally or globally, Shopify takes the guesswork out of starting a business. 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That's code EXTRADTY20 to get $20 off your 1st order of $80 or more. Offer valid for a limited time, excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply. I've been spiraling this whole month of September. As we know, it's been like a little bit of a sketchy September. And I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling October is going to be a cocktober. It's raining dick out there right now, and I was in a drought. I broke the threshold. I'm flooding the gates. No pun intended. I'm just feeling a little sketchy October, too. I think we're gonna be sketchy until December, and then I'll maybe try to chill for January, but I doubt it. I always say this. I've been telling all my friends because my two like Best friends that are like my age are in serious relationships. One's engaged and one's in a serious relationship. So I've been like hanging out with people that are like a little bit younger than me just to like, I'm acting like a 22 year old these days. I literally acting. I told my friends, I'm like, I'm acting like post grad. I don't know what's happening. Like, I want to go to like Spring Lounge. I want to go to like Soho Grand. I'm like, where's the after party? I've been doing a lot of afters, a lot of like benders, Wednesday night shenanigans. I went to the Box the other night. I went on a date with this guy, which was really fun. It ended really well for him. We went on a date and then I somehow ended up in Brooklyn at 2am and someone was like shooting a music video and I was there to witness some of that. And then we went to the Box and I was in a cardigan, a cashmere blend cardigan at the Box. I don't even know how I got in, but this is the second time within the span of two and a half weeks that I've been at the Box on a Wednesday until the lights turn on. Which is if you know anything about the Box. That's one extremely impressive extreme. It takes a lot of, I don't know, I don't want to say substances to like stay up that late at the Box, but it takes a lot of like, bandwidth. That's the word I'm looking for. So, yeah, it was one, terrifying and two, just like, didn't need to happen. And then I was up until like 8am and then I slept till like 1pm and it was a whole thing. But like I said, I'm not really good at dates because I sleep with the guy on the first date. I don't know if I'm really bad at dates or really good at dates for that reason, but I mean, you'd probably say it was, yeah, it was great. It was a good day. I had fun. But I've just like been so unserious this month and I need to like figure my shit out. But then again, I'm like, I don't care. I just want to have fun and live my 20s. I don't want to look back and be like, I regretted not doing things and saying yes to things. I'm just like in my era of saying yes. And I feel like that's like a fun area to Be in if you're safe. I don't know if I'm being safe, but, like, I'm definitely having fun. But, yeah, birthdays make me spiral. Sums up exactly what I was trying to say with that point of that whole story. So, yeah, I've been spiraling a little bit. Probably drinking a little too much and probably being a little bit of a hoe. But it builds character and it builds lore, and I don't regret a thing. What else happened in the span of the past few weeks? I obviously got my eye surgery. I think I've beaten that point over the head. I've been talking about that way too much. But guys like you, no one understands how big of a deal getting my eyes fixed was for me. I've been wearing contacts for since I was six. Like, that's crazy. Like, did I even know how to read by the age of six? Probably, but probably not. I was always really bad at reading because I associated reading with giving me headaches, because my bifocals would always be the tip of my nose. So I'd get migraines and I would read. So I hated reading, which means I hated reading out loud. So, like, I am a bad reader, like, in general, and I'm bad at reading things out loud. Even when I do, like, some of these ad reads, they're difficult for me because I can't really see. And I'm not, like, an advanced reader, and I don't like doing things I'm not good at. And I know everyone says practice makes perfect, but, like, who has the time to read? Also have adhd, so it just doesn't fit into, like, my body. I don't, like, have the attention span to, like, read on the beach. I don't know how people do that and, like, sit still for that long. Like, I can't even sit still for, like, a massage, let alone, like, collecting information. I'm one of those readers that, like, would read, like, a whole paragraph and have to go back because I would just be, like, thinking about, like, what I was having for lunch or something. Like, something random like that. But maybe I'll, like, pick up reading as a hobby or needlepoint or knitting. I always loved knitting. I used to knit in rehab because I couldn't do anything else. So I became an avid knitter. But I have adhd, so I'd only get through, like, halfway. Of all the scarves, it made no sense. But anyways, that's been September for me. I feel like I have no limits recently, and I can do literally Nothing in moderation. And that's something I want to leave in 27 and bring into 28 is learning how to find balance. I am a Libra, so I should be good with balance. But I find it's either 0 or 100. Either I'm inside rotting like a vampire, watching reality TV, shutting out the outside world off, not replying to a single text, or I'm bouncing off the walls of New York City like fucking spider man, knocking on doors, banging on people's doors, wondering where the after party is. And one thing about me is I. I hate calling it a night. So that's a horrible trait to have or like a really great trait to have when you're trying to have fun. But like, I will be the last person standing. And I found that recently that I've been surrounding myself with people that also have that quality about them that they don't want to call it a night. So the sun will be rising and no one will be wanting to call it a night. And then we just die the next day. I mean, it's not conducive with a productive day. The next day I'll be sleeping till one and then I'll do it all over again. You know what? This is me. This is me. This is me at 28. It what reality TV am I watching right now? Reality TV, this is what it does for me. It's chaos and drama that's not my own. So there's something that like, is soothing about it. It like calms me down watching other bitches fight. And I don't know if that's like a mental illness, but it's just something about reality tv. It's just such brain rot and so easy to consume. And I can like have it on as white noise in the background while I'm like getting done in my apartment and going through emails, etc, and it won't be like a show like you have to like really pay attention to. I'm a big Bravo fan, I will say for the Real Housewives franchises I'm obsessed with. I'm watching Miami right now. Just before this, actually, I was watching the Miami Reunion. I just think it's such juicy tea. It's like I can't fathom how this many girl groups have these many problems. Like, part of me is like, it has to be scripted. Like, how are these always fighting? But it's extremely entertaining. I'm watching Real Housewives in Miami. I always watch reruns of Vanderpump Rules. I love the same with that show. That Just speaks to me below deck. I love Love island games. I've been watching a lot, but, like, I could never do Love Island. There's something about the heart rate challenge that I could never do. I think I'm, like, too insecure for Love island, to be honest with you. Like, I don't know how people are all sitting on that little couch around the fire pit and they're wearing, like, barely nothing and they hop out and they're, like, giving everyone lap dances. Like, I could never. It stresses me out. It kind of gives me, like, karaoke vibes. And I hate karaoke. But, yeah, I'm watching those reality TV shows right now. I always watch whatever's, like, in season. Like, I'll even watch Potomac. Like, I'll watch all the random ones. Whatever's new. But I will say with the Real Housewives, since COVID I feel like everything on Real Housewives has become a lot more PC and maybe a little of that was needed. But I feel like a lot of the franchises are missing delusion, which is what made it so entertaining in the beginning, which is why people love Salt Lake. Like, that's what makes Salt Lake the best out of all the franchises right now, is because those are some delusional ass bitches that probably say the wrong thing sometimes, but it's, like, not offensive or that deep. I feel like everyone else is trying to be, like, too careful about their image, which I get is fine, but I feel like that's not the foundation of, like, what Real Housewives is built on. In my opinion, one day, maybe I could be on the Real Housewives. I feel like I would, like, be so good on a show like that because I'm very confrontational. I, like, say it how it is, and it will come off very abrasive. So I feel like I would be good on a show like that, and I would. I would turn it up a notch and make it, like, a little more dramatic and just, you know, play into the entertainment value of it all. But, yeah, that's what I'm watching right now. Okay, for this next segment, I thought I would, like, center it around my birthday a little bit because I am 28. So I'm, like, wise and old. I'm an old, wise hag here to just, like, preach my truth. So I thought I would, like, do something fun and plug in, like, all of my extra dirty content material into ChatGPT and do, like, a little bit of a, what? 28 things I've learned by 28 and have it read it back to me. And honestly, when we did this, it was really funny. So I'm gonna read some of my favorite things. Okay, Number one, if his texting is spotty, move on. Yes. But you know what? I'm a bad texter too. My texting spotty. Maybe that's why I'm single, is because they've all like, moved on. They all knew that rule. I'm kind of like, the bar can't be that low. I've been texting some spotty texters. Very, like, vague, short, just like they almost are like intentionally seeming like they want to be sure and like, they don't really care and like, low lift. I don't have time for that. You need to be obsessed with me. And I can be a spotty texter. But yeah, if they're texting you very sporadically past 10pm on weekends only, cut them loose. Let the trash take itself out. Okay, Number two, bottle service is cheaper than therapy. Is it? I don't think it is. I don't know what kind of therapy chat GBT thinks I'm going to a table in New York City is five grand at least. At Gospel, it's five to seven. So I don't think. I don't know what kind of therapy chatgpt thinks I'm going to. I don't even have a therapist. I would say brunch is cheaper than therapy. Bottomless mimosas is cheaper than therapy. And that is true. I agree with this bottle service. No, though a true bestie is the one holding your hair in the Uber. Not judging the hookup fully, wholeheartedly agree. Although I hope the days of me throwing up in Ubers are way behind me. I used to do that in high school all the time. But, like, who didn't? I was drinking pink lemonade Svartka and chugging it. Pink lemonade Svetka in one hand, Malibu rum in the other hand to the face. And then I would like, give a blowjob and like, throw up on his dick. Yeah, those are the days I was throwing up in Ubers. I don't do that anymore. That would be insane and diabolical. Also, that's like an expensive mistake. Like, hold it until you get somewhere. Like, have him pull over. But yeah, I agree with this. Your best friend should not be judging any of your decisions. I think at this age of 28, your friends will have opinions and they can like share your opinions. But, like, you're a adult. Like, I'm a grown ass woman. Most of the choices I make, I Know I'm making the wrong ones and I'll be like, I'll deal with the consequences later. This decision I'm making, this guy I'm hooking up with, this guy I went back to hook up with. I know it's gonna bite me in the ass in the long run, Yes, I probably know my friend's opinions, but, like, if I want dick, like, no one's gonna stop me, not even my best friends, not even Thor. If I'm set on something or someone, it'll probably happen and my friends will tell you that. But judging in, like, being critical over your bestie's choice in men, like, it only is a headache for you. They're gonna do what they're gonna do and they'll learn their lesson the own way. It's best that a person learns their lesson the own way and not from like you telling them that they're gonna up and you have to be there when Bessie comes back and said, I know you were right. Like, I fucked up. And you'll be like, okay, bestie, let's go get brunch and hug it out. Okay, next. There's no hangover like mixing tequila, gin, and your ex's attention. So valid, so fair. Agree with this. That is a recipe for disaster. I would also add to this, texting your ex first after, like a drunk night drunk texting your ex. There's nothing worse than waking up and going through your phone looking at all the people you've texted. And especially if you're texting like an ex boyfriend or an ex situationship. That just hits hard. Scaries are scaring at that point. I would have a bloody Mary if this was the situation. That's the only thing that would get you through that. I don't drink gin. I don't drink tequila. I'm a big vodka girly, cuz I know how I'm going to react to vodka. I've also been drinking a lot of red wine lately, which probably is reflective in me being a hornball because I'm humping everyone in the tri state area at this point. I wouldn't mix tequila and gin to save my life. Please. Okay, next. Ghosting is rude, but sometimes deeply necessary. Fully agree. I think sometimes an explanation is not needed. I. I go back and forth with this ghosting dilemma because I've gotten ghosted. But I've also had guys write out paragraphs detailing why we're not gonna work. I couldn't tell you, which sucks for. I will say with a paragraph though, at least you can get closure and move on from that. I feel like with ghosting, it kind of just like drags it out a bit. And there's a lot more what ifs in gray area in the. In between when you're, like, getting over a situation. But, like, if you get ghosted, you get ghosted. I mean, everyone gets ghosted. Even Bella Hadid's probably gotten ghosted. Probably not. But, like, everyone gets ghosted. It's part of growing up. It's part of, like being in your 20s. It's part of being a woman. It happens. Or a man. I've ghosted so many men. I've ghosted friendships. Sometimes ghosting just is necessary. I stand by this point. Okay, next. You're not shy. You just don't like people. I agree with this. I think this is important to state. People suck. A lot of people suck. Something I've learned throughout the years is most people are weird and most men are gay. And you'll probably sleep with half the gay men, but, yeah, they're gay. I only like a handful of people, to be honest. I, like, have so many acquaintances, but most people are weird. And you never know someone's intentions these days, so you got to keep your circle close. And I've said this before on the show, my dad always taught me there's only two or three people that he would call up on a Tuesday at 3am and say, My car broke down. Please don't ask me any questions. And they would drop everything and come get you on the side of the highway without asking anything. There's only two or three people that would do that for you that are not family members. So that's kind of like how I attack my friendships, is I look at those people and I think, would they do this for me? And if they don't check those boxes, then they can be friends, but they're not like, my close people. I don't know. People just, like, move weird. I don't know. That's just like, something I've learned, especially, like, in the social media world and the world I kind of have gotten myself into. Just, like, people move weird. Men and women. Like, you just never know anyone's intentions, so. And, like, don't trust anyone. Literally, can't trust anyone. There's been stuff about me on Reddit also, as of recently, that have been brought to my attention, of things I've only told, like, people that I consider close friends. And somehow there's a rat. Somehow it ends up on the Internet. And I'm like, how is this even possible? So like I'm just like a little bit more careful about what I share information to, especially about like people I'm like hooking up with or blah blah blah. Like I'm very vague about it online but I can't have my people telling the Internet the fuck. Remember that doctor's appointment you were supposed to make a while ago? That one you meant to book but you got sidetracked and completely forgot about it until now? Why not book it today? Zocdoc makes it easy to find the right doctor right now and it's all online. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. 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I have been having this really weird relationship with chat GBT recently and I'll ask chat GBT everything like literally about relationships. Like ChatGPT has become one of my close personal friends and I don't give a fuck about anyone going through my camera roll. I give a fuck about someone going through my chat GBT history. Let's talk about that. No one talks about that. Also costar. I've been highly dependent on costar to just like dictate how my day is gonna go. You plug in like you're a Libra, blah blah, blah, like you're what time you were born, where you were born and like brings up like all those like in depth, like analysis about like your day, your year ahead, sex and love, your relationships, your lifestyle, like how much money you're going to make, like all those things. And like it's kind of accurate, it's kind of weird. But going back, is this a red flag? If you have to type that into any search engine or even ask your friends or even think about it, it's a red flag or else it would be a green flag. No one, no one talks about green flags though. It's always the red flags. But red flags entice me. I like one of those bitches that's like, I can't fix them. I'm the exception when I'm never the exception. That's why I go after like narcissists. Because I like love a challenge. Because guys that are typically green flags and guys that are typically super nice, kind, loving, I don't typically go for. I don't see a challenge there. I like someone that can like butt heads with me, which is why I'm alone and single. Because that's toxic and bad. But it's fun and the sex is good. Goodbye. Next. I'm going into my co star right now. This is what it says, your day at a glance you'll heal like fuck, bitch. No, I won't do's friendship bracelets. Maybe that's because the Taylor Swift album came out at midnight. Do friendship bracelets, playgrounds and postcards. I don't see how I'm gonna incorporate any of those things into my day today. Don't crowds. That's kind of sketchy. Archetypes. I don't even know what that means in Blind Trust. Blind trust. It speaks to me because there's a rat in my circle. I need to find out who it is. I needed a PI in this bitch. It says the hurt that feels permanent isn't. Your mind wants to solve the damage before realizing it. But healing works backwards. Let your body catch up to what your brain already knows. I basically what I'm getting out of this is you are hungover. Let your body heal and then your brain will be fine. That's what I'm getting from that. But let's see what yesterday's was. Your emotions feel like a big roller coaster. You hole up in your room, stop responding to messages and fixate on your shortcomings. Literally, what was I just talking about? And I didn't even read yesterday's. That's kind of insane. Do what is needed for the situation you were in, not the situation you wish you were in, not the one that is fair, not the one that is more comfortable. You already know how to keep your feelings separate, and that's a start. You desire to change this month depends on your ability. Remember that you don't need to manipulate, even though you can. This is no small feat for a person who wants a complete merger, body, mind and soul. This is your opportunity to practice love that defies societal expectations. The general theme of your life during this period is to teach others what you know about the hidden aspects of life and to be open to them. Teaching you every day is an opportunity for a new investigation of life's fundamental questions. Isn't that crazy? I was just saying how I was out until 8am Hooked up with this guy, slept till one got back to my apartment. I was holed up in my apartment. My motions were like a roller coaster yesterday because I was coming down from my bender, I stopped responding to messages, including productions, which I apologize for. And I was fixating on my shortcomings, which I was just talking about like my birthday and how I was only focused on the things that I don't have and not the things that I do have. So yeah, that's co star and it's usually right. Okay, next. DMS are where love stories and cautionary tales begin. I fully agree with this. I feel like in this day and age, it's so much more difficult to meet people organically. Although that's how it should be. That's how our parents did it. Like everyone's sliding into DMS left and right. I feel like I know a lot of people that that are married now that that's how their love story began. I don't Think that's abnormal. Although it would be nice to like meet someone in real life and just have that spark and that like fairy tale. Like you have eye contact across the room. Which is half the reasons why I fixed my eyes is because I wanted to get the eye contact across the room and like be like, oh my God, we're falling in love. Love at first sight. But I feel like you see less and less of that now and just a lot more of people online and. And then setting up a date from there. But like, yeah, that's how love stories begin. That or Hinge or Raya or whatever your vices. Grinder. Okay, next. You can be emotionally intelligent and unhinged. It's called balance. I would say I have a pretty high IQ and I'm self aware of it, but I also know that I'm like toxic and unhinged and a threat to society sometimes. But you know, that's on self awareness. I would say you can be both. I am both. I'm a Libra. So balance is what I'm drawn to. So if you can be a crazy ass degenerate but also have high intellect and be emotionally intelligent, I think you're a full, well rounded ass down ass. Seems like a perfect girl to me. Okay, your 20s, if you're making mistakes, just don't make them with the same man twice. Hallelujah. This is one of those things that's so much easier said than done. I make so many mistakes with the same man more than twice. Like lots of times it's like I am that. That puts the fork into the light socket and see how many times it takes for literally my hair to fry off. Yeah, I guess I'm a sadist because I go back to this, these toxic men all the time. But I think it's like fun. And they're usually. Those are like the best sexual endeavors typically in my opinion. But yeah, this is easier said than done. I would say this would be something that would be like a goal to strive to have. But you know, I feel like your 20s are just for like up and like keep picking yourself back up and then falling down and like do it again and again and again and finally it'll be embedded in your brain that you need to stop. That's kind of what makes your 20s fun. It's the falling down part. Next. No one actually knows what they're doing. Some people are just louder about it. Fucking preach. This is so real. My mom always tells me like, she's like, I would say no to millions of dollars to not go back into my 20s compared to her 30s. She said, Night and day, no one knows what they're doing in their 20s. People think that they know what they're doing, but no one has their fucking shit figured out. And this is correct. People are just louder about it. I feel like that's kind of like my whole journey online. It started with me just being like, I do not know what the fuck I'm doing. And I was loud about it and I talked about it online and I was very like transparent with my audience about that. Being like, I do not work. I do not know what I love. I do not know what I want to do. That is perfectly normal. When I was in college, which, by the way, waste of fucking tuition. I'm an influencer and podcaster now. But anyways, I was a classics major, art history minor. I had to pick a major. Like, I had to pick one. I also didn't have an option not to go to college. My dad was like, you're going to college. Like, it was never like, oh, maybe not like you're going to fucking college and you're getting your degree, which is whatever. But I had to pick a major and I was kind of good at classics, picked it up. But I was like, what am I going to work in a museum? I don't want to fudgeing do that shit. Luckily for me, when I graduated in 2019, Covid hit and I was like, few. I get like a little bit more of like wiggle room of me to like figure out what I want to do. I did a lot of things I didn't want to do. I was signed with a modeling agency. I wasn't a fudgeing model. I had false eyelashes and I had lip filler that was pop. I look like a blow up sex doll. And I was like, I'm not that tall. I'm like 5 7. But I'm not like Runway. It was just I was like throwing pasta at the fridge, seeing what like, would stick. There was a point where I was a brand rat for Tito's and I would go into liquor stores with a little like, car in like samples and get paid like 40 bucks an hour to give out samples at a fucking liquor store in Manhattan. Picture you walk into a liquor store on a Thursday afternoon to get like a bottle. You're about to go pregame with your friends and you see me dressed to the nines behind a Tito's cart. And I would have to take pictures with the customers that would take the samples it was the most embarrassing. It was like a humiliation ritual. But the moral of the story is like, I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I knew I had to do something. Like living in New York, like, you have to work. Luckily I had that safety blanket that is my father to fall back on. But not everyone has that and I was well aware of that. So I was grateful that I had that. But I still felt like I had no purpose. And feeling like you have no purpose or nothing, like you're good at or passionate about is a gutting feeling. And you feel pretty empty and just kind of like it's a little depressing. You feel like kind of worthless. I figured it out and it took some time. I think that's also like an important lesson. Like give yourself some grace, some patience. And I think your 20s is about that as well. Just giving yourself some fucking patience and grace. Like give yourself a break. It's not that deep. It'll all get figured out. You were loved and just trial and error. That pretty much sums up twenties in my opinion. Trial and error next. A good outfit cures heartbreak faster than journaling. I totally agree. Retail therapy is so important. A good outfit, you're feeling confident and sexy and you're ready to take on other men. Best way to get over man is to get under another one. I've always said that. And maybe that's not something I should be teaching the youth, but I fully believe that. Get back out there and look hot doing it in a good baller ass outfit. I fully agree with that. I don't think I need even need to add to that. That one is kind of self explanatory. Stop trying to make a situationship a relationship. It's not build a boyfriend. I agree with this. A situationship is only a situationship because it's something to someone and like not something or someone else. So you guys aren't aligned. And that's what makes it a situationship. It's a situation for someone, not a situation for someone else. And then there's too much gray area and you know, the boundaries are not outlined and it gets very confusing. And I think that's what makes people like latch onto a situationship so hard, is because there's a lack of validation from someone in the two parties. Either lack of validation or lack of communication. Like something's not getting filled and it's like almost putting like the wrong puzzle piece into like the wrong spot. Like you're trying to like make it work, make it fit, but it's not gonna fit. You can't build a boyfriend. I agree with that. You don't want to have to force a guy to want you or be with you because you are enough as is and there's going to be someone out there that treats you like that. Situationships are confusing and everyone says they always hurt more than actual like breakups and actual heartbreak. And that's because the damn gray area, the gray area will you over. It's very confusing. I've been in way too many situationships but they're kind of fun. It's just like when do they end? I feel like they all, they always just kind of like fizzle out. Like there's no break up so that that's where they like take longer to get over. And you're just like always like guessing what things mean and I hate being in that position. Next. If you only text after 10pm, you're an extracurricular, not the main course. This is true. Point period blank. I mean it depends what you want. I don't always think this is a bad thing because I'm not a big texter and sometimes all I want is a warm body on top of me. So like I don't really want to talk during the day either. Like sometimes this works. But if you like, if it's a situationship like we just talked about and you really like him but he's only talking to you after 10pm that means he only wants to. He's horny because it's dark out or he's drunk and he's tipsy. But like my upbringing, like when a guy's like drunk and he hits me up after tm, I'm like, but he's drunk and thinking about me like he's drunk and he texted me. I'm like, that must be his true feelings. Like I'm so delusional. Insane. But I think all of our mothers would agree that this is a red flag. These guys are not worth our time. But getting booty called is just part of growing up and sometimes I don't hate it sometimes. I'm not always mad at being booty called. I wish more people were actually texting me after 10pm I'm not going to lie because sometimes the phone get pretty dry. Netcredit is here to say yes because you're more than a credit score. Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and service by NetCredit. Applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners netcredit Credit to the people.
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Ah, DSW Earth. Place of the humble brag here. The shoes are so good. No one would ever know how little you paid if you didn't go telling everyone that is. And with never ending options for every style, mood and occasion, all at really great prices, they'll definitely give you something to brag about. So go ahead, stock up on fresh sneakers from your favorite brand or try those boots you always secretly knew you could pull off. Find the shoes that get you at prices that get your budget at DSW stores or@dsw.com Let us surprise you.
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A vibrator will never ghost you. A vibrator will never ghost you. But sometimes batteries do turn on you. I will say that. I will say that there's nothing worse than when you are alone using your vibrator and just dies on you. That could be worse than heartbreak. That could be the biggest betrayal I have ever encountered. Or if like a guy's using on it on you and it dies. That's happened to me a few times, but luckily I have like 19 of them. So we just go in the drawer. Vibrators will never ghost you. Some people have stuffed animals. We have vibrators. That's how I look at it. They are my comfort pieces, but I just don't like prop them on my bed like I would stuffed animals. But I do travel with them like I would stuffed animals. I had a stuffed animal growing up and I still have it in my home in Boston, but I feel like if I had it in my apartment in New York, like guys would be like, what the is wrong with this? It's still my childhood bed. And her name is Kitty. No, her name is Titty. It was supposed to be Kitty, but I couldn't say Kitty and I called her Titty. So Tit, little tit, big tit. She has been with me. She was a gift to me when I was born. So she's been stuffed and re stuffed a lot of times just like me. And I'm grateful for her. I miss her. Next leading with kindness is always the path best traveled. So well said. You guys know how we feel about kindness. It's very important to me. It takes nothing to be kind. It takes literally nothing to be kind. I don't understand how like I encountered this cunt the other day when I was at Alexander Wang. She was the only person in line outside the store and I've never seen Alexander Wang with a line. But there was, there must have been too many People in there. And this was just standing outside. It was a Saturday in Soho and she was just sitting outside with like a guy she was with. And it didn't really. There were so many people on the street. It didn't really look like she was waiting in line, but she was outside the door. So I tried to go inside thinking that maybe they were just like hanging out there. And she goes, excuse me, there's a line. Clearly. And she was so rude. And I was like, oh, I'm not trying to cut your janky ass. You're probably not even gonna spend money, you weird freak. And then I got kind of nasty. But like, don't be rude, don't be rude. Sorry. I got really heated about that. I'm really passionate about kindness. Because if you're not kind, what do you have? You're a miserable loser if you're not kind. Takes nothing to be kind. Nothing. Minimal energy. Smile at a stranger, it could make their day. That's how I lead my life. But I am that way also. Like, if you cross me, I will, you know, pull all your teeth out. But, you know, I'm a Libra. I like balance, but only if you cross me. Okay, next. Good sex won't fix a bad man, but it will delay your exit. So well said. We need to get that on a T shirt. I agree. Sex has been something that, you know, I'm a very touchy person. Like, the physical aspect of relationship or situationship is the most important aspect to me. I don't even care, like, about gift giving, all that. Like me, period. That's all I care about. So if the sex is good, but you're kind of a. I will be staying around a little bit longer. I think it can go in reverse too. Like, if the sex is bad with a good man, it will speed up my exit. I will be out the fucking door. That happened to me recently. The sweetheart man. We hooked up and I hooked up with him a couple times. I gave him a couple tries and I just felt like I was hooking up with a 17 year old. I wasn't, he was my age. But like, if that makes any sense. It was so predictable. We were in my bed and then we were like spooning. And then he like, tries to like, flip me over to like, make out with me. And then the kissing was like kind of eh. And then I'm like, okay, then he's gonna try to finger me next. It was like I could predict each step, each position. There was nothing spontaneous about, was very gentle. It was Very like, oh, sorry. Oh. It was, like, bumpy. And I was like, not in the good way. It was very bumpy and awkward. It was like there was no sexual chemistry. And I let him hit twice or a couple times, three times maybe. I don't know. But I was just like, this is not it. It made me say bye, Goodbye, good riddance. Next. Pillow talk is dangerous. That's where delusion is born. Another true statement. When you're in bed with a guy and you guys just did, like, the most intimate act you could possibly think of, and then you're just lying down, and then he starts talking about his family and his childhood trauma, and I start mentioning my karate days and how I've been to rehab multiple, multiple times for eating. And then just, like, you start yapping about deeper things, heavier things, and then I'm like, wait, are we in love? Like, that's where delusion is born. Because I'm like, wait, we just connected spiritually. That's why I save a pillow talk to, like, a very. Like, I don't really indulge unless we're, like, talking. Like, pillow talk is, like, meant to be. Like, I just like, gossip. If we make mutual friends, like, or, like, we're in the same friend group, I'm like, oh, my God, did you like, Becky, do you see what you wore the other day? And, like, that kind of stuff. But, like, I'm not, like, getting deep with any of my suitors. That's where it gets sticky and dangerous. Ladies, don't get deep with your sutars. Okay, next. If you didn't finish, it was a nap with a guest star. I like this one because I've talked about this before. I don't really count a body unless I finish. Then it's just basically like a nap with, like, a warm body thrusting around you. Like, does it really count if you didn't finish? I think it probably technically does, but finishing is important. And if he's not making you finish, leave, decline. We're not. I don't. No patience for that. Not this age. I have no tolerance for that. So, yeah, if. If you didn't finish, it's kind of just like a fun nap with weird visuals and smells and tastes. Okay, next. Butt stuff is a trust fall. True, but it's like a fun trust fall, and then you fall, and it's game over. Then you're having a time. But, yeah, I would say in all. In all, a is a trust fall. That's a good way to look at it, because you really also have to trust the person that you're falling onto. That could go wrong in so many ways. I mean, knock on wood, it's never gone wrong for me, but it could. I've heard horror stories. It is a trust fall. It's kind of like a game of chance. But I've always come out strong, come out lucky. So friends with benefits only works if the benefit is good. Yes, we've talked about this. When it comes to like sex, there has to be some sort of trade off or else it's what's the benefit? They have to be benefiting, you have to be benefiting. Maybe he's buying you bags and you're sucking his dick. There has to be an equal trade off and someone. You both have to be benefiting for it to work. But if you're like sucking a dick for Birkins, that might be looked at, looked down upon by society. And I've never sucked dick for a Birkin. I don't really like Birkins. I've talked about that before. I hate Birkins. I think they're kind of ugly and overpriced. But friends of benefit only works if like, you're finishing or you're getting gifts, period. Not every text needs a reply. I definitely understand why chat GBT would bring this up. Because I hate texting. I hate it. It's tedious. And I agree. Not every text needs to reply. I only reply to text if one, I'm planning something, whether that's dinner, dick and like work. And sometimes I don't even reply to that. Production will tell you. Sometimes it's hard to get track of me, sometimes I'm on loose, sometimes I'm outside. I just like, my phone's always on do not disturb. I had a meeting with my team about this last week. They were like, we needed to focus on not doing the do not disturb because like if we call you, you need to pick up because something's due. I'm just kind of like, I procrastinate a lot and I have adhd, so sometimes I'll think I'll reply to a text in my head and I'll like not have replied. I'm still replying to birthday texts and it's been like over a week, so. And I feel like that's super rude if you don't reply to a birthday text. But I just like got so many not to like subtly flex there. But there's just so many birthday texts and each are like kind of meaningful and you can't just copy and Paste a reply, and you kind of have to, like, cater to that person's text. It's a lot of work. It's like writing a paper. But I will say, like, if I send you a funny TikTok and you don't reply, death to them all. I find that so offensive. Okay. Spending time alone is a flex, not a failure. Fully agree. I am a very social person. I go out all the time, but I spend my days recharging that battery. Recharging that social battery. If I do not have alone time, I get overstimulated, and I'm not the best, most funniest version of myself. Also, I think about valuing this time right now of being alone, because one day I'm gonna have rugrats kids running around, and then I'm gonna be praying for the days I was alone. That's kind of how I look at it. So, yeah, I'm, like, very thankful for my alone time. It's very important to me, living alone. I've lived alone for a few years now, and it's been the biggest blessing, and just I need it for my own sanity. And then I think the next time I'll have a roommate. It's probably when I get one of these guys to put a ring on it. The best ideas happen. Tipsy at happy hour. The best and the worst. I'm a very impulsive person, so I'm drunk, and I have, like, a spur the moment idea, and I think it's, like, the best idea ever. The liquor's flowing. The mimosas are bottomless. Yes. In the moment, I think all these things are really fun and creative. But then you wake up the next day and you're like, why the did I do that? I feel like some of my best trips with my girlfriends have been planned out of tipsy brunches or tipsy happy hours. I feel like that's just like, girlhood. Energy is expensive. Budget accordingly. Fully agree. Pick and choose the things that you want to throw your energy into, because if you spread yourself too thin, you will get diluted and you won't be giving 110 to the things you actually care about and prioritize. I've been learning this. I think this has taken me a lot, a long time to learn because I'm someone that says yes to pretty much everything. I think no is a very weird word, and I love saying yes. Yes is a fun word. But I do find with saying yes a lot to everything and just, like, putting your energy into a lot of different things, it Kind of washes you out, like, quick burnout. And then you can't, like, be the best version of yourself for the things in your life that actually matter to you. I like, for an example, you know, in this industry, there's so many brand events, like, lots of events, lots of things that you can say yes or no to. And I say yes to everything. And I think to a fault almost, because now I'm just like, spread too thin. And you don't want to be pouring yourself out to everyone, especially in this industry. Like, you should be selective and intentional. And that's something I want to be more of this next year is be extremely more intentional and only doing things that align to, like, my personal brand and who I am and who I care about. Like, there's some brand deals that I've done that I'm like, holy, rents do. It just gives off rents dues, vibes. And I know that. I'm very aware of that, but rents do. And sometimes I gotta whore myself out for the check you would do because these checks aren't light and I gotta say yes, keep the lights on. Okay, this year, this next year, I want to say no to more things and be more intentional and put my energy into things I give a about. Like sitting here and doing this podcast. That should be my number one priority. I should not have scheduling conflicts with other mini things that I don't give a about.
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Come to DSW for the shoes, Stay for the fun. Because let's be honest, if shoe shopping isn't fun, are you even doing it right? So go ahead, try something new. Try something different, Good different. Try something that feels like you, you know, the real you. And then definitely brag about it later. Because at dsw, you've got unlimited freedom to play. Find the shoes that get you at prices that get your budget at DSW stores or@dsw.com let us surprise you.
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Next. Friendships evolve. Let people go with grace or block. Both are valid. Yeah, both are valid. You know, sometimes, like, I what is it rule? Like, if you're friends with a person for more than seven years, they'll be a friend for life. I think that's the rule. I only have a couple friends like that, like my roommate Margot or Lauren. But it's okay to move. Like, people are just like, go on their own paths. I'm not friends with any of my high school. Like, I see them sometimes. But like, best friends, I think it's okay to, like, go your own path and go your own way. It's totally normal. It's, like, very normal, and sometimes friends need to be cut off. Over time, people will show you their true colors. And when that happens, let them go and don't look back. Next, invest in quality betting. Your sleep will. Thank you. This is so important. Like, if you have a jankity ass bed with crappy ass bedding, like, how is your mental health? Okay, Like, I put money into my bedding because I spend a lot of time in my bed, and it's good for sleep. And you need sleep to recover. You need good quality linens on your skin. Your skin's your biggest organ. So, like, take care of your body. It's like a health thing. You spend most of your time in your bed. Well, like, at least six hours for me. A bit more because I'm a lazy piece of. But I agree. Invest in some quality betting. All right, Last 1. Your 20s are for reinventing yourself as many times as necessary. I feel like this is a good one to end this segment on. I full, wholeheartedly believe that. I feel like since the age of 20, now I'm 28, I've been a different version of myself every year. I, like, look back at photos and, like, look back at things I cared about during each age, and I'm like, wow, it just changes so drastically every year. I feel like every year I'm trying to be, like, a better, more refined version of myself the year prior, but it just, like, keeps changing, getting new interests and hobbies and new interests and people, and just like, you know, it's like you want to change every year. You don't want to be the same person you were at age 20. And I hope by age 30, I'm an even better version of myself. I still feel like I have a lot of room for growth. I actually know that I have a lot of room for growth, and I look forward to, you know, discovering myself and reinventing myself a few more times before I hit that age. Okay, that was a really fun segment. I, like, feel like that was almost, like, therapeutic in a lot of ways. But anyways, next week. Next week's episode will be in Vegas, which will be really, really fun, guys. Me. And Vegas is actually a diabolical human being. It's just a version of myself that, like, rarely gets tapped into. But when I tap into it, I'm like, balls to the wall. And I will be recording out there. Hopefully we'll have some, like, stuff. Special guests on. The whole team's gonna be there. I think it's, like, one of the biggest events on Wallace done to date. Like the lineup is seriously impressive. It's gonna be really fun. Great will be there live Lauren and like some friends I know that are going so I'm gonna try to get everyone, as many people as possible sitting down the couch answering your guys's questions, talking about sketchy September just being raunchy and fun and very like Vegas. Like I'm sure we're gonna pull some great stories out of that weekend. I'm, I'm really looking forward to being a fan. Crazy ass there. But for now as always I love you guys. I love doing these solo episodes sitting down and just yapping my face off. You know where to watch me YouTube and you can listen to me on every other platform. Please share this podcast with all your friends. Give it five stars. Leave a nice comment and as always I love you guys and I'll see you next week. Bye.