Transcript
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Hallie (1:02)
What I decided to do is I switched out my implants for a different shape implant that was like a little more fake looking. All these people thought my tits were real. And I was like, what's the point of like getting fake tits if like everyone just gonna assume they're real? Like if I'm going under the knife, I want people to know. What up, you little fuck? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. How is everyone doing? I am doing fine. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. Like I'm a little high right now. I had surgery this week, which by the way, I thought was going to be an easy surgery. I just come back from Miami. I was there for F1 in like in Miami. Like I know I was supposed to behave like very good this past weekend because a week before you're being put down or put under anesthesia or anything like that, like you're supposed to like eat properly, high protein, get some sleep, get some rest, limit your activity and definitely not drink or do any substances of all the sorts. And. And of course I didn't listen to a single one of those roles. I mean, when I go to Miami I just feel like I lose control of like all my inhibitions. And all my willpower and all my will to live. Honestly, I was there with a brand. And, yes, I was technically there for work, so I don't feel as guilty about what I got up to. But after everything I got done for, like, my work stuff, there was just so many events surrounding the F1. We may say, like, the F1 races in itself, if you guys don't know what F1 is. This was my first time at F1, so I wasn't really sure to what F1 was either. It's basically like race car drivers just whipping around the tracks, and it's a long haul to get there. And once you get there, it's like a massive, massive track. It kind of reminds me of, like, the US Open and how big that is, but so loud. Like, I wish I brought earplugs. Just, like, a bunch of, like, all in your ear and you, like. It's kind of. I don't know if I want to go back, to be honest, but it was fun. Like, a lot of cool people were there, and I get, like, the camaraderie of it all. Like, there was, like, fun activations and all of that and a lot of fun after parties, and I feel like that's where I got myself into the most trouble. We'd go to, like, after party after after party. And the things I don't like about these after parties is you can't. I couldn't bring, like, a group of people. And usually I'm with a massive group of people. Like, I'm with Graydon, I'm with Lauren, I'm with Liv, I'm with, like, the extended group. And you can't just, like, bring your squad to these places and you have to, like, break off. And a lot of the times I would have to tell Graydon, like, they're not, like, letting any other guys in. But I was like, wait. But, like, green doesn't really count. Like, he's my gay bestie. Like, why can't we just let. Apparently they don't care about that stuff. So Graydon was left behind a few times, which made me really sad. In was a bit too sceny. I'm not going to lie. I love seeing things and, like, being in the mix and being with, like, the cool people and, like, all that. But I, like, honestly, at the end of the day, if I'm in the room with, like, the most famous people, I don't really give a. It's kind of like dark aura sometimes. We're at this one afterparty and it was just like every A list person you could possibly think of. And I just remember looking around the room being like, I like don't give a about this whole situation. Everyone's trying to like you know, like social climb and talk to who's who and like kind of like network but like kind of in like a dark way. I didn't like it. It's just like not where the fun was at for me. I like the fun is, the fun is where my friends are and a lot of my friends weren't let in so it kind of just like bummed me out. So anyways, I had a couple of Those like late 7am nights and then I would have to wake up super early in the morning for glam and then I would have to spend the whole day in the Miami sun. So it was a long weekend. So the last night I was there we went out. It was another 7am night. We went to this club live. And by this time like I was exhausted. I at this point it had been like a three day bender. You know, I only had so much energy left in me. I knew that I had to be at the airport for a 7am flight. So that makes it a 4:30am wake up. And my logic there is should I take like a two hour nap and then wake up and go to the airport but like go home early from the club or should I stay out all night and just book it from the club to the airport? That's the decision that felt most logical to me in the moment. So that's exactly what I did. So, so what did I do? I got on the flight at 7am I'm hammered, cross eyed. I honestly don't even know how I made it through security. Like it was that I think I left a bunch of clothing back in my hotel room too. We were like shuffling to get like to leave and to like get all our shit together. I didn't pack. I didn't think I had like that. I slept on the flight. We landed in New York City. I had like a fitting at 2pm because I had to go to Mel afterparty for work that started at 11pm so this is Monday now 11pm I'm there till 1am and then I had to be up at 4.30am for this surgery to be like cut open and put under which is diabolical. Like the Miami bender to surgery pipeline needs to be studied in my opinion. And I thought this surgery was going to be like a walk in the park. Like I, I have a really High pain threshold for these types of things. I've gotten my boobs done before, and I. I went out the same night with my mom. I had like seven espresso martinis. The night I got, the same day I got off the operating table. The first surgery, the same day I got off the operating table, I went to the hotel bar with my mom because she was in town to take care with me. And we had about seven espresso martinis. And I woke up the next day and I swear I was in more pain from the hangover than I was from getting cut open. So in my mind I was like, oh, this surgery's gonna be a walk in the park. No, because this time what I decided to do is I switched out my implants for a different shape implant that was like a little more fake looking. I felt like people, all these people thought my tits were real. And I was like, what's the point of like getting fake tits if, like, everyone just gonna assume they're real? Like, if I'm going under the knife, I want people to know that I risk my life and that they are fake. But, like, everyone's like, oh, my God, they look so natural. That's not a compliment to me. That was like an insult to me. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna get back on the table and do this again. So I switched out the implants for a different shape, a shape that, like, was a little more fake looking. There's only like two shapes. You can get a teardrop shape, which is like the more natural looking one, or you get, like the circular shape that shows, like, more cleavage and whatever. That's the shape I went with. Not only did I do that is I did this new thing called a surgical, like, internal bra. It's like basically mesh scaffolding that breaks down over time, like between 12 and 18 months and turns into like collagen in your body. But it basically, like, surrounds your implants and holds them in place. But like a bra would, like a push up bra almost. And that I will say has been the kicker. It's been extraordinary painful. Not all the oxy in the world they prescribe me is kicking in. I feel like I got hit by a bus. I feel like someone shredded chicken in my chest. That's what I would compare it to. It feels like that. And I had plans last night. Like, I had plans to go out to a party the day after this surgery because I just assumed I would be okay and I had to miss it. And it was like One of the biggest parties of the year, and I had to miss it because I was in extraordinary. Like, I was in so much pain. I don't know what was more painful, the FOMO from missing this big soiree, the function, or from the debilitating pain in my chest. I don't. I can't tell which one was it was. It was a tough day yesterday, but we made it through. But anyways, they prescribed me more medication, like, and I'm feeling a bit better today, but I'm still, like, high as a kite. I'm honestly going to record this whole podcast episode and. And not remember a fucking thing I said. But we're gonna have fun while we're doing it. So let's talk about fomo, guys. So FOMO is a disease, and they haven't found a cure yet to it. And once they find a cure, I will be calling up that doctor and that researcher because I would like to find a cure to fomo. The only cure to FOMO is really sleep and, like, lots of melatonin. So you completely miss the night and can't really experience fomo. Always have the thought process, like, okay, what if I stay in tonight? What if I stay in tonight and that's the night that, like, I meet my. I could have met my husband, or I could have had the sickest night ever. Or, like, so and so is going to be at the club and I totally miss meeting him. That's the way my mind spirals and things. I also don't like the thought of my friends going out without me and then somehow formulating some sort of fun inside joke that I am no, Like, I can't be a part of for the next few weeks to follow, because that would piss me the off. I'm not gonna lie. Like, if they're like, oh, my God, remember when Joe Schmo, like, tripped and fell? Oh, my God, that was the funniest thing. And I'm like, I can't laugh with you, and I hate you for it. Like, that's how I think. But also just, I. I think living in New York City in general, I am not the type of. That would walks around Tribeca and, like, walks to get a matcha. Like, I'm staying in my apartment until I have to go out to a function or to an appointment or to get my lips done or something like that. Like, I'm not leaving my apartment until I really have to. I'm not like, a wanderer of the city. I don't romanticize New York during the day, that's not really what I do. Like, I Uber eats my coffee because I don't even want to walk outside and get it. That's the kind of, like, that's how I roll. So when I go out, like, I feel like that's my time to, like, leave my apartment. I don't feel the need to, like, leave my apartment during the day. So if I'm going out at night, that's my time to socialize. And I am a social person. Like, that is what brings me dopamine and serotonin, all the things. Like, I need to be talking to people at all times, giggling, having a martini, being a part of the scene. I feel like the New York air at night is a lot, lot better and more vibrant than the New York air during the day. During the day, it's just, like, hot and smells like trash to me. There's no need to romanticize that. So I'm not, like, really getting out of my apartment. So, like, if I'm going out, like, it's gonna be at night time. And, yeah, so I do get fomo. I don't get FOMO for day activities, though. If you and Becky want to go to the park and have a picnic, have, have fun, have your best time, live your best life ever, I will have no fomo. Missing that. But night activities, I always feel bad missing. Also, if I commit to, like, a plan or a birthday or a reservation, I'm, like, the least flaky person ever. Being a flake is, like, one of my biggest pet peeves, actually. So even if a limb is falling off, I will, like, do my best to try to make those plans. In this case, it felt like multiple limbs being. My jugs were actually falling off. So I couldn't make those plans on Wednesday night. But I did my best. I honestly considered it. But if anyone had bumped into me and it was like we were going to Tao, like, this party was at Tao nightclub, there was no way, like, someone wasn't gonna bump into me. If someone had bumped into my fake chest, there could have been, like, an implant situation on the floor, like, because the stitches are fresh. Like, what if I put my hands up to raise the roof and then, like, they just slip out of me? That's, like, what I was picturing. And we couldn't have that, because who's picking that up off the floor? Not me. You know, clean up on aisle 12. But, yeah, that's my thing on FOMO. I think as I get older, we're gonna grow out of fomo. But I'm single, so, like, I. I need. You know, I need to get laid too. So, like, what? I'm not gonna get laid in the com. The confines of my apartment. That's not happening unless I go on, like, Tinder. Who has Tinder these days? I'm not downloading Tinder or, like, Craigslist to meet a man. Okay, I have to go outside for that. So I get the surgery. And by the way, I. I thought this was gonna be like a walk. A walk in the park surgery, like I said. So I didn't tell any of my family members because I thought it would be like a little nip and tuck, no pun intended. But, like, you know, I didn't think it was gonna be that big of a deal. So I just texted my ex roommate, and I was like, hey, Margo, like, I'm getting cut open on Tuesday. Do you mind? Like, I. Apparently, they're not letting me Uber home alone. And she's like, yeah, I can move a couple meetings around. Like, I'll come pick you up. So I'm in surgery for, like, two and a half hours, which is a lot longer than I anticipated, and I wake up very confused. And anesthesia. It's very, like, hard to walk. Like, you need help walking. So what the nurses do is they either offer you a wheelchair or, like, an escort to your Uber. So it's me, these two beautiful nurses, and my best friend Margot. And we're all like, I'm wobbling, and they're trying to, like, give me pretzels. And I'm like. I'm like, I don't eat carbs. They get that away from me. And they're trying to offer me water, and they're, like, just trying to, like, help me out. And we get down the elevator, it's pouring rain, like, puddles everywhere. But there's, like, this big group of girls, like, out front of the plastic surgery place. And I. My first thought was, oh, my God, like, I hope no one that, like, follows me runs into me right now, because this would be, like, the worst timing or honestly the most on brand thing ever. But I panicked. So I started, like, running away from the nurses down the street, like, into the middle of the road. So it looked like I was escaping a psych ward. Like, picture, like, me, like, I had, like, a gown on, essentially, and these slippers from the plastic surgery place. And I'm just, like, running down. Like, it's really pouring out. Whatever. I'm running into the street. They're pulling me out of the street, I looked like I was escaping the loony bin and like I was a patient on the run. But yeah, I finally got into the Uber and then I slept until like 7pm and may I say when I woke up and that anesthesia wore off, like, I wouldn't wish that paid on anyone else. I, like, didn't think I could feel things like that. It honestly humanized me a bit because I was like, wow, I can feel things. Like pain. I got. I did. I haven't felt pain like that ever. Like, I'm not looking forward to childbirth, but I picture what I felt the other day to be worse. That's how bad it felt. And I was on not strong enough drugs. I was like, where are the real drugs at? This is some pussy ass shit. At first they were prescribing me like extra strength Tylenol and like very low oxygen. And I was like, can someone just like put, like, put me out? I don't know what's going on, but it was fun. I would totally do it again. 10 out of 10 recommend. But yeah, the nurses, they gave me very strict post op rules. They said no working out. And then they looked at me and they go, no bouncing, no sexual activity for like two months. And I said, this was not on the brochure, babe. This was not in the brochure. I also, my tits look great. They look like Canelli beans right now. Like, they look like Jack and the Beanstalk beans. They look insane right now. Like I. I took my compression bra off and I sent a picture to my two girlfriends and I was like, imagine if I was setting nudes right now and I was like, come over the. My tits, like, go from like here to here because they haven't dropped yet. So. They look like Jack and the Beans, Doc. They look like the beans you put on your like Chipotle Bowl. They look insane, but they're going to look great in like two months. But the summer is right around the corner, so I probably should have like, thought this timeline through a little bit more. But they're going to look gorgeous once they've settled. But they're going to take a while to settle because of the internal bra. It hurts. It hurts even to laugh right now and breathe and all the things, but we'll get through this, guys. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. That's a saying, right? This is for all the business that listen to Extra Dirty. 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