Bran Flakezz: Choking, chugging, and club drama

Summary

Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder: Episode Summary Episode Title: Bran Flakezz: Choking, Chugging, and Club Drama
Release Date: February 6, 2025
Host: Hallie Batchelder
Guest: Bran Flakezz

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1. Friendship and Mutual Support

The episode kicks off with Hallie Batchelder welcoming her guest, Bran Flakezz, highlighting their strong friendship and mutual support. Bran shares heartfelt anecdotes that illustrate the depth of their bond:

Bran (00:38): "I'm ecstatic. I'm actually not scared. I feel, like, very comfortable with you."

Hallie (00:46): "You're very sweet, and you've always made me feel very comfortable."

Their friendship has been a cornerstone for both, providing stability amidst their chaotic lives in New York City.

2. Navigating Mental Health and Anxiety

Hallie opens up about her struggles with mental health, revealing her experiences with OCD and ADHD. She discusses the challenges of managing these conditions without consistent medical support:

Hallie (05:01): "I have ocd, adhd, love, and eating disorder stuff. I was on Zoloft... I was cut off cold turkey."

Bran empathizes, sharing her own journey with panic attacks and anxiety, particularly during high-stress events and transitions:

Bran (06:33): "In June, I went through a breakup, moved apartments, and piled everything into work. It was overwhelming."

Their candid conversation sheds light on the importance of mental health awareness and the difficulties of seeking and maintaining treatment.

3. Influencer Life and Community Engagement

Bran introduces her initiative of taking followers out to dinner, aiming to build a stronger community:

Bran (03:03): "I started this series last year where I take my followers to dinner. It's a good way to get to know your community."

Hallie reflects on the dynamics of influencer life, touching on the pressures of public performance and validation:

Hallie (09:08): "Performance is public. It's hard because our performance is public, but who cares?"

4. Recent Events: Dinner and Clubbing Adventures

The duo recounts their recent outing celebrating a follower's 21st birthday. They navigate through dining at Benjamin Steakhouse Prime and attending the LA Fires charity event at City Winery, describing humorous and chaotic moments:

Bran (10:02): "We took one of our followers out to dinner for her 21st birthday. It was fun, but a lot happened after."

Their night spirals into club drama, including a failed Uber ride, confrontations with event security, and unexpected encounters at various clubs like Catchy Shoe and 3:10 Bowery. The recounting is filled with laughter and relatable mishaps:

Hallie (17:48): "It was insane. We got reprimanded but still had a blast."

5. Valentine's Day Plans and Relationship Insights

As Valentine's Day approaches, both share their past experiences and current plans. Hallie reveals her romantic endeavors and recent breakup:

Bran (27:25): "Two years ago, it was my first Valentine's Day in a relationship... This year, I'm going to Atlantic City."

Hallie discusses her long-term single status and reflections on past relationships, offering a humorous take on her love life:

Hallie (28:42): "I haven't dated anyone since 2019. I don't even know if I've ever been in love."

6. Raunchy Stories and Sexual Experiences

True to the podcast's name, Hallie and Bran dive into their most raunchy and personal sexual stories. Bran narrates a complex encounter that evolved into an unintended orgy-like situation, highlighting the unpredictability of nightlife:

Bran (30:03): "He was choking me until I saw stars... He ties us all up and we’re about to get murdered."

Hallie shares her wild college experiences, including multiple orgies and hookups that left lasting memories:

Hallie (33:15): "We would just have sex in that room. It was a bonding experience for life."

7. High School and College Drama

Both hosts reminisce about intense high school and college dramas, including leaked videos and scandalous events:

Hallie (40:44): "A girl sent a video plastering herself with a hairbrush to her best friend's boyfriend... It was a whole fiasco."

Bran adds her own stories of class trips gone wrong and the resulting chaos:

Bran (41:54): "Senior class trip to Disney World... guys ran into a pond infested with alligators. Everyone got soaked and got suspended."

These stories provide a humorous yet insightful look into their past and the lessons learned from youthful indiscretions.

8. Rapid Fire: Personal Preferences

In a fun segment, Hallie and Bran engage in a rapid-fire round, sharing their personal preferences on various topics:

• Best Pregame Meal:

  • Bran: "Order five appetizers with your girlfriend, split them, and get martinis."
  • Hallie: "Tapas."

• Favorite Club or Bar:

  • Bran: "Vinyl in Philadelphia."
  • Hallie: Not specified.

• Favorite Cocktail:

  • Bran: "Dirty martini."
  • Hallie: "Cosmos."

• Favorite Concert:

  • Bran: "Taylor Swift's Eras Tour."
  • Hallie: "Enchanted by Taylor Swift."

These exchanges highlight their vibrant personalities and shared love for nightlife and cocktails.

9. Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

Towards the end of the episode, Hallie and Bran discuss following and supporting other creators, emphasizing the importance of community within the influencer space:

Bran (52:09): "I love the average creators... She just makes me feel so comforted."

They also touch on managing online interactions, such as blocking creators who promote harmful content:

Bran (53:27): "I blocked Liv Schmidt because she promotes eating disorders."

The episode wraps up with affectionate exchanges, reinforcing their close friendship and commitment to their audience.

Hallie (55:28): "I love you guys. Thank you for tuning in again."

Bran (55:32): "Don't get crabs."

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Notable Quotes:

• Bran on Anxiety (06:33): "I piled everything into work. It was overwhelming."

• Hallie on Texting (04:39): "It's crippling because I'll reply to that in a minute and then forget."

• Bran on Influencer Success (11:50): "You have to have a balance of both passion and skill."

• Hallie on Mental Health (05:15): "I have OCD, ADHD... I was cut off cold turkey."

• Bran on Rapidity of Events (22:27): "I wake up in Brooklyn... What the fuck is going on?"

---

Conclusion:

In this episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, Hallie and Bran Flakezz offer an unfiltered glimpse into their lives as influencers navigating friendships, mental health challenges, and the wild unpredictability of nightlife. Their candid storytelling, combined with humor and heartfelt moments, provides listeners with both entertainment and relatability. From managing anxiety to sharing raunchy sexual escapades and reminiscing about high school dramas, this episode encapsulates the essence of living authentically in the bustling environment of New York City.

Transcript

[A]

Are you a top or a bottom?

[B]

I'm a top. Isn't that surprising? But all my friends are tops. I have bottomed before.

[A]

Same. What up, you little fuck? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. We have a very beautiful, handsome man with me today.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Are you happy to be here? Are you scared?

[B]

I'm ecstatic. I'm actually not scared. I feel, like, very comfortable with you.

[A]

No, I feel like we're very good together.

[B]

Very good together. And you're very sweet, and you. You've always made me feel very comfortable.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Hallie's, like, a very good friend. The first time we met was at Serena Kerrigan's birthday party, and I didn't really know anybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you were like, hey. And we, like, just spent, like, the whole night together. And then, like, I had a really bad panic attack in Montauk, and you were so nice to me the entire time. And then, as of recently, like, the Amazon event, we, like, spent the whole night together. And I was. At one point, I was like, you don't have to, like, stick around me if you don't want to. You're like, no, I want to hang out.

[A]

I know.

[B]

So you're very.

[A]

You're very nice, but I like hanging out with you. I remember when you went through that anxiety phase. That's so relatable, though. You feel like the whole world's crumbling around you, and you just feel like you need a calming force.

[B]

It was so bad. Like, we were at, like, our friend Carly's house. We had this, like, amazing chef, come make us dinner. And, like, I felt so bad. I just, like, was literally shaking the entire time. And then I ended up coming to the club with you guys, and I was sober during that time. Yeah. Which was fun. But I'm not sober anymore.

[A]

No, I know. We're back on the bottle. Should we cheers.

[B]

We should. Cheers.

[A]

All right, cheers. Let's rip it and have no filter.

[B]

I'm so excited. I. We're going to, like. This is going to be messy.

[A]

No, it's going to be so messy. All right. My eyes don't cross.

[B]

Oh, that's strong. Ally.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

All right, well, we're going to be blacked out.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay, that felt good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's start the other night. What did we do the other night?

[B]

Brienne we took one of our followers out to dinner in the club for her 21st birthday.

[A]

I like, going into that, I was like, shit, is this like the most irresponsible thing where like, this poor girl, she's at the ripe age of 21?

[B]

Yeah. So like alcoholics. I'm so excited that you said yes because you're actually the first influencer that has done this with me. I'm doing it again this Friday in Philly. Yeah. But yeah, so I started this series last year where I just started, like, taking my followers to dinner. It's like, fun. It's like a good way to get to know your community. And then I was like, it would be so cool if I could start bringing other influencers with me. So when I did, like, the launch, I was like, just tag the influencer. You would want to come. You were like the number one person. Everyone's like, halle, Halle, Hallie, Halle Hali.

[A]

Because they know I can drink.

[B]

Yeah. And then this girl named Maya, she commented and then she DM'd me and was like, I don't know if you're going to see this, but I just entered your giveaway. It's my 21st birthday. Like, I would do anything in the world to get dinner with you and Halle. And I was like, let me text Hallie. But the problem with texting Hallie is she doesn't answer. She's too Hollywood to answer her phone. No. And like, I made a TikTok that went viral and it was partly inspired by you where I was like, there's not nothing more stressful in the world than texting that one friend that answers every five business days at like a random time. Like 1:20pm on a Wednesday. Oh, hey. And you know you have like a small time frame of like three to five minutes to get out all your questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, I'll do my best, girl, but let's get backups just in case. Cause I don't know. One, Hallie's a world traveler. Two, she doesn't answer her phone. But by the grace of God, everything worked out.

[A]

No, yeah, I am. I don't answer well. Like, I'm actually just the worst texter ever. I feel like I've been single for so long, I have, like, no to text. And when I do reply to a text, it's usually, like, work related.

[B]

Yeah, I am.

[A]

I don't like to gab.

[B]

I am the really. Yeah, Yeah. I do like to FaceTime. I'm like a really. Like, I wouldn't say OCD. But I, like, hate having unread messages. I hate having unread emails. So, like, I will answer every single text, like, very quickly. I'm very responsive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe I'm just not busy enough.

[A]

No, I definitely am rotting most of the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, a lot of the time I'm just, like, here, chilling.

[B]

Do you, like, see the text come in and, like, do you, like, go to answer and then you just don't? Or do you just, like, it's my adhd. Okay.

[A]

It's crippling. Because then I'll be like, oh, I'll reply to that, like, in a minute. And then I'll forget about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, my dad texted me the other day, being like, I love you. I'm so proud of you. And I just didn't reply because I forgot.

[B]

Oh, it's a medical thing.

[A]

No, it's a medical thing.

[B]

I get it. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And they won't give me Adderall because of my condition.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

I was using.

[B]

Are you on any meds? Are you allowed to say.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, let's talk about meds for a second. I was on a bunch of meds because obviously I have. I have ocd, adhd, love, and eating stuff. I was on Zoloft.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, a very strong dose. And then so I had a. I have an outpatient team, basically. I have a nutritionist, a psychiatrist, and a therapist.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

I thought therapist was a. Like, she rubbed me up the wall. So I started ghosting her because she was like, I could have. Honestly, she was in the wrong field. I hope she's watching this because literally, go yourself. Because she would just ask me the most planting questions, and she was so expensive.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So I said. At this point, I was like, this is a waste of money. So I dropped the therapist. I just ghosted her. We kind of ghosted each other. Like, she loki hated me. And then the psychiatrist, also a mega. She goes, well, I'm cutting. I'm cutting you off your meds if you don't talk to your therapist. And I said, well, I don't like her. She goes, oh, well, no more meds for you. So I was cut off cold turkey.

[B]

Did she give you that?

[A]

Now I just buy them off the street.

[B]

Did she give you the option to get a new therapist? I have a great one, if you want. If you need one.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, that's like dating. Like, getting a therapist is literally like dating.

[B]

You have to, like.

[A]

And I don't even like dating. No, it's like shopping for something that you don't like. It's like a chore.

[B]

Yeah, I'm the same way. I mean, I have a therapist that I love, and I hated my psychiatrist at first, too, but now I really like my psychiatrist, and I'm on Pristique, 100 milligrams.

[A]

Never heard of that one.

[B]

Yeah, it's like. I feel like it's, like, limited edition. It's. It's niche. It's a niche one. No, no, it's. It's super, super great. It's really helped, like, save my life.

[A]

So were you dealing with anxiety or what was your shift?

[B]

Yeah. So about a year ago, I went to Aspen on a brand trip with Celsius, and I was just partying too much, and I had never been the altitude, and I had this, like, really intense panic attack that, like, lasted, like, six hours on the flight home. And then I was just, like, had this fear. Like, panic attacks often can come what they call panic disorder, which is, like, you're nervous every time you go somewhere that you're going to have a panic attack at said location. So at first, I was just nervous to get on a plane again. And I went to Miami. It was actually the weekend before Serena's, and I was like, okay. In Miami, I had really bad anxiety, like, right before an event. And I also feel like, as influencers, like, I don't know if you get like, this too, but, like, sometimes these events, like, you can get really psyched out. And, like, that was what was happening to me. Like, I was just getting really nervous about things and just repeated anxiety. And then in June, kind of like a mix of. I went through a breakup. I moved apartments. A lot of transitions at once. I, like, piled everything into work. It's pride month in June. So I was really busy. I was coming to New York every few weeks. And then I had a vacation in Montauk, which is when I saw you, and everything just, like, hit the fan. And I just was like, I'm going to have a panic attack on the way home. I'm going to fudge over every influencer on this trip with. Yeah. And then I just crashed out, and it was really bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I'm great.

[A]

I don't know if you ever experienced this, but, like, I'm such a social person, but sometimes I get waves of social anxiety, especially, like, in those settings.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I'll almost, like, see myself, like, in a third person, where I feel like I'm watching the words come out of my mouth to the person I'm talking to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, almost like a delayed hundred percent. And that's, like, what I experience.

[B]

Yeah. And it's weird because it's like, I consider us, like, co workers. Like, when we go to these, like. Like, we're. Halle and I are coworkers. We're working when we go to these events. Like, you. And it's like, I worked corporate America before I did influencing, so I'm very familiar with all of the. It was okay. It's definitely not as fun as this.

[A]

Did you have a 401k? Someone told me what that was.

[B]

I actually did. Yeah. I did have a little 401k. And I had health insurance, which was great. I mean, I have health insurance now. I just have to pay for it. But, yeah. No. So, like, when I go to these events, I, like, feel like I'm with co workers, and it's like, the same thing. I'm like, is that person competing with me? Do they like me? Like, what? Like, should I be saying this in front of her? Like, is this unprofessional?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it's easy to get psyched out.

[A]

Yeah. Like, honestly, at the end of the day, like, who gives a.

[B]

Who gives a fuck? Yeah.

[A]

I feel like tunnel vision. Stay in your lane and just, like, be the best version of yourself. That's kind of like. It's so easy to compare yourself to other people in this industry especially.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And I. I internalize being competitive with other creators, I think. I think that's pretty normal.

[B]

It's so normal. And it's hard because, like, our, like, performance is public. Like, you can see how many views and likes other people are getting and not, like, really with you. Especially if you're like me and have, like, imposter syndrome. Because you're like, oh, like, why is hi getting, like, 800,000 views on all her videos and I'm getting, like, 30,000? It's like, why does that matter? Who the cares?

[A]

But, like, it's a form of validation.

[B]

It literally is.

[A]

And it. It. We shouldn't equate any.

[B]

Our jobs are so hard.

[A]

Are we complaining about our jobs right now?

[B]

Yeah, let's. Let's get into the fun stuff.

[A]

No, let's get into the fun stuff. All right. What happened the other night? Because I barely. Let's take another sip.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get to this restaurant, Benjamin Steakhouse Prime. It was good. I liked it. Good food. We had good. I was like, halle, you want dirty martini? She's like, absolutely. The girls we took out were so cute. So their names were Maya and Julia.

[A]

They were adorable.

[B]

Julia literally looked like she could have been your little sister.

[A]

I want to adopt her.

[B]

She was.

[A]

I was obsessed.

[B]

So pretty.

[A]

They're both beautiful. You made a disclaimer video being like, essentially, well, you're going out with me and Halle. Like, you need to. Like, basically your liver needs to be doing push ups at this point.

[B]

Exactly. Like, we, we warned them. And I will say this, like, we.

[A]

Made that girl take blowjob shots. We make her do anything. Disclaimer. We'd make her do anything she wanted. The blowjob shot.

[B]

Hallie starts the dinner off. This was very chaotic of you. You go, now's your chance. Ask us whatever you want. And I'm like, damn, bitch. And did this girl ask us questions?

[A]

Did I not answer every single one?

[B]

You answered every single one. By the end of the dinner, I was like, are we a creator summit? Is this, like, can line?

[A]

It was like Dateline.

[B]

Like, it went from like, very fun, like, who are you guys hooking up with? To like, like, how many times do you post today? What's your strategy? I'm like, oh, my God. I'm in like, a professional client call. Like, it was, it was across the board.

[A]

I know, but like, actually, I feel like people really want to know. They did because I feel like I'm. I kind of understand the algorithm 100%. Like, that's a good thing.

[B]

I make videos, like, about, like, I have like a playlist called TikTok Transparency where I make videos about, like, here's what you should post. Here's how you do it. And they go so viral. So I understood and like, she, I, like, is trying to become an influencer and she's a great storyteller. Like, she definitely could.

[A]

No, now she's popping up on my for you page and she definitely has it. You either got the sauce or you don't got the sauce. That's why people are like, oh, your job, like, as an influencer, that's so easy. But, like, if everyone could be an influencer, I feel it's like a hard job to get, but once you get it, you. It's an easy job.

[B]

I always tell people, like, in order to be successful in this industry, it's a mix of passion and skill and a lot of. Yeah. And that a lot of people have the passion, but they don't have the, like, raw talent of doing it. And then there's some people who, like, are super talented, but they don't have the drive to like, actually keep up with it. So you have to have a balance of both. Like, you have to really be good at it, but, like, also be consistent.

[A]

I feel like there's a little job on that.

[B]

I could give a TED Talk. No, I like that I'm low key smart. I feel like people wouldn't expect that. But I'm kind of.

[A]

Everyone thinks I'm a dumb.

[B]

Everyone thinks I'm pretty stupid. But we're smarties.

[A]

That's kind of like part of my bit.

[B]

Yeah. But dinner was fun.

[A]

So where'd we go after dinner? I'm trying to like, think. So.

[B]

Yeah. So we go to the LA Fires charity event.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this is where like, I start laughing because, like when I go to events in Philly, like, there's not that many Philly influencers. I'm not trying to sound cocky, but like, I'm one of the bigger, like, influencers in Philly. So I never have like door anxiety or anything. Like I just walk right into places. And when we got to this, this event's at City Winery. Like on the one is at the west side.

[A]

But it was a ticket event for.

[B]

It was a ticketed event, but from like 9 to 12. And we literally get there at 11:30. I'm like, they're not gonna care. We like pull up to the glass doors of City Winery. Hallie like, bolts. She like won't even look inside the door. She's in her trench coat.

[A]

She's like, I get imposter syndrome at the door.

[B]

She's texting like our friends.

[A]

I hate cutting lines. I hate it so much. Even if I know. So if I know the owner of the.

[B]

There's no line outside. People are just sitting in the lobby.

[A]

I also like, I didn't. I don't.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

I hate going places. I'm one not invited or I'm cutting a massive line.

[B]

I feel like she's respectful. I'm entitled, basically. That's. That's going to say it's too long. Don't read.

[A]

No, but you can get away with it. You're a gay man.

[B]

I'm just like, not you homophobic. Shaming me.

[A]

No. If they were to yell at you would be a hate crime.

[B]

Anyway, so Hallie just cracking up because. Because she's like texting. She's like, we can't go in until someone lets us in. I'm like, okay, well like, let's just like wait in the lobby. Like, we don't have to wait on the street. Halle. So we walk in, Remy comes. She grabs us. This event was fucking insane.

[A]

It was insane.

[B]

It was insane. We go to this, like, private section. We don't have wristbands. We just, like, walk over the rope.

[A]

They kind of gave me a hard time getting into that, too.

[B]

Did they really? Oh, I just, like, snuck in, and a bunch of the Bravo people are there, and we're having so much fun. At least I was having fun. And I remember I was so nervous to leave this section that this girl took a picture with me. And I was like, if I give you $20, will you go buy me a drink? Because I'm scared to leave the section and not come back. And she's like, oh, my God, absolutely. And then Isaac starts shitting on me. He goes, not you having fans do you favors? I was like, no. Like, I just want to drink. And there's nothing left at this table.

[A]

There wasn't a bottle at the table?

[B]

No.

[A]

I did the same thing, but I went with someone that was in the section.

[B]

There was, like, lover boy cans, but they were like. I couldn't find one that actually, like, wasn't unopened or whatever. But, yeah, we were having a lot of fun at this event. Everyone was up. Like, I. I mean, we got there literally two and a half hours into the event. So, like, I would say everyone was pretty much on their ass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was having a blast.

[A]

And then we left, and we went. We went every club this night.

[B]

Well, first, before we go to Catchy Shoe, we have the most dramatic Uber fiasco of our life.

[A]

They would.

[B]

We could not find our Uber.

[A]

You had the fan get an Uber?

[B]

No. So Hallie calls a car. It says it's right in front of us. It's not there. And I'm like, like, what do we do? So I asked Maya, our giveaway winner. I said, maya, would you do us a favor? Would you call an Uber? Because we can't find Hallies. And she was like, absolutely.

[A]

I didn't know you did that. I would have never let that happen. You can't have our giveaway.

[B]

Well, then she got mad at me. Not because of that. Her and I, like, got. Her and I were both drunk, and we got into, like, a little fight. I was like, wait, what's going on?

[A]

She said, you're being bitchy.

[B]

Yeah. She said, you're being bitchy. And I was being bitchy. But. But here's the thing. Anyway, because all of our friends, I. I get us this table at Catchy Shoe because I made a tick tock it was like, what? Whose dick do I have to suck to get in? And then the GM insecurity there. So GM DMS me. He's like, anytime you need to come now, I want to change your experience. So all of our friends get to this table before me. So I'm like, stressed out. I'm like, we had a security guard.

[A]

I had no idea.

[B]

Yeah, we have to get there. I'm like, let's go. Anyway, we get in the Uber, we get to catch a shoe. I'm having a blast at catchy shoe. Be like, I'm. I'm in the DJ booth. I'm vibing. Like, I'm having a really great time. I'm on the table dancing. I accidentally make out with another coworker of ours.

[A]

You were making out with everyone? Girls and guys.

[B]

I love to make out with people.

[A]

No. Like, you never have tried to make out with me. Am I not your type?

[B]

Oh, I'll make out. Should we make out right now? I think making out is like a handshake. I'm like, let's kiss.

[A]

I think a hand job is a handshake.

[B]

Okay, that's fair, too. I just feel like the world would be a better place if we all just made out with each other. And, like, I was like, greeting.

[A]

It's a. It. It's probably greeting in some countries.

[B]

Yeah. Like, spread love.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, I was making out with a few people, and that was all fun and games until I made out with a co worker. And then all of a sudden and like, help me fill in the gaps here. Why did we leave? Like, who was the person that was like, let's go to Little Sister. Let's call him Tommy London. So there's this man with us. We'll call him Tommy London.

[A]

Tommy London.

[B]

And then we go to Little Sister. We had some drama in the Uber to Little Sister. Hallie at this point was, like, just calling people out, which was really funny.

[A]

I kind of get confrontational after.

[B]

I like it, though. Like, you were very, like, quiet and coy, and then you just, like, let out a statement and the whole car, like, turned. And I was like, it's like a microphone drive. I felt like Jersey Shore when they would get fight into, like, fights in the cab. I was like, we need, like, a camera crew here. Anyway, we get to Little Sister. What is your opinion on this bar? Can I slander them right now, or do you. Do you need to go back there? So it's.

[A]

I have to go back there. My friend's a managing Partner. He wasn't in town. And it's a. It's a notoriously hard door, but honestly, I respect a hard door. Yeah, I think some doors should be hard. I think all doors should be hard. You can't just let in Joe Schmo, so.

[B]

But we pull up.

[A]

I've been there enough times over the past seven years where you'd think I could just walk in. I'm like. I'm very close to a lot of people that work at Tao. It's a town club.

[B]

So there's this man. His name is. Can I say his name?

[A]

Everyone knows if they're in New York. Person, you know, who works.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And he's giving us a hard time, and he's telling us we need more girls, which I kind of thought was insane because we were literally with, like, seven girls and two gay guys. But. But, yeah, it was like, literally, c'est la vie. Anyway, Tommy London throws down the credit card, and he goes, now we're all going upstairs. We walk up there.

[A]

Downstairs.

[B]

Downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. We go into the club. I look around. We're at, like, I guess, like, a promoter table. We're with.

[A]

No, we were with other people. And I was like, I did not sign up for this.

[B]

And there were, like, hoes. Like. Like, I'm sorry. Like, the girls that we were with were giving, like, Wildwood. Like, I was like, this is. I was like, this is not it.

[A]

Wildwood.

[B]

Like, it was giving Wildwood. And I was like, I probably. This is where Hallie's a good friend again. I was like, listen, I'm. Wait, wait, wait, wait. We almost forgot a key detail. At this point, we lose the giveaway winners. The giveaway winners are no longer with us. Somehow we all leave the club, and we turn around, and they are not with us. So at this point, the giveaway is over. And honestly, it's probably for the best.

[A]

Because the giveaway is over at midnight.

[B]

The giveaway is over at midnight. At this point, that's probably for the best because Hallie and I are like, we're getting in trouble. Other coworkers of ours are yelling at us, telling us that we need to stop being so messy in public and being like, you guys are talking too much.

[A]

We were being reprimanded.

[B]

We were putting time out outside of City Winery. Yeah, it was really humbling.

[A]

Get in the corner.

[B]

But don't worry, the giveaway winners got home safe.

[A]

I gave one of them my number, and I said, text me when you get home. And she did text me. So so good.

[B]

So they're safe? Yeah, they're safe.

[A]

But you're making it sound sketchy.

[B]

Like we're at little sister and vibes are rancid. Vibes are heinous.

[A]

No, vibes are disgusting.

[B]

They're disgusting. And I turn and I was like, listen, I've gotta leave. Hallie, I'm so sorry.

[A]

Like, you did not say that.

[B]

What did I say?

[A]

You said new bar. Ooga. Ooga.

[B]

I wasn't that. No, I was pretty drunk.

[A]

No, I was blasted too.

[B]

I was being a little messy and I was getting with a reporter and the reporter didn't get into the door.

[A]

When we say reporter, we mean like for.

[B]

For like.

[A]

Like one of those.

[B]

Like, Like a Huffington Post. Like a tmz. Like a TMZ reporter.

[A]

But like, we're not naming it.

[B]

So, yeah, I did an interview with this man earlier that afternoon. I get his number and I'm like, hey, come to the club. And you're so thirsty. I was really thirsty.

[A]

No, you are.

[B]

It's fine. I'll take it on the chin.

[A]

No, take it.

[B]

I don't have to.

[A]

I think you did take it on the chin that night, didn't you?

[B]

Anyway, so y quarter man didn't get into the club and he's texting me. He's like, damn, like, you're really just gonna leave me like that? I'm like, he's like, you bro. I'm like, I don't know what to do. This guy just tours a new asshole because we have too many girls. He's already hates gay people. He's not gonna like you. And I don't even want to be in here anyway. So he's like, okay, we're going to 310Bowery. And I love that bar.

[A]

Is that where we went?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I was like, where the fuck are we? I felt like it wasn't a dream.

[B]

We went to 3:10 Barry and that's actually the first club. Not club. That's actually the first bar I ever went to in New York. Like four years ago when me and my friends didn't get into marquee. This was like pre influencer days. So I. I have and comfort and safety in 310 Barry. So I'm like, let's go. We go in there. I'm like, you know what? We just went through a traumatizing experience. I buy 12 green tea shots. There's only four of us. So we all take like three of them. And then I start. I was fucked up passionately making out with Reporter man and a girl who.

[A]

You were making out with a girl too.

[B]

Okay. And a girl. I was like, I was making out with another. Another client, another coworker. But I don't remember making out with a girl at Bowery.

[A]

Maybe it wasn't at Bowery.

[B]

Yeah, at Catch a Shoebi, I was tongue deep in this girl, and she was like, wait, is this cheating on my boyfriend? I was like, I don't think so.

[A]

No, it doesn't count.

[B]

She was a great kisser. But, yeah, I was making out with reporter man in Bowery. And then everyone starts to trickle out, and what do I do? I go back to this man's home in Brooklyn.

[A]

He woke up in Brooklyn.

[B]

And not just like, Brooklyn. Like, not just like, over the bridge.

[A]

I never crossed the bridge.

[B]

Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Like, we get to Brooklyn and we're still in the car for another 20 minutes. We have a stop added for his friend.

[A]

You're in Rhode Island.

[B]

I'm in Rhode island at this point, I'm in. I'm in Montauk. Honestly, like, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Literally, I wake up, I don't even think I really went to bed. If I'm being totally honest. Like, I'm being like a freak with this guy.

[A]

What'd you do?

[B]

Literally nothing. Like, we're making out. I'm trying to, like. Like, initiate sex, whatever. And he's like, no, no, no. Like, let's just cuddle. I'm like, you know what? I could use like, a night without raw sex. Like, let's. Let's. Let's go to bed.

[A]

Are you a top or a bottom?

[B]

I'm a top. Isn't that surprising? But all my friends are tops. I have bottomed before. But, like, I save bottoming for, like, not for marriage, holidays, you know? You know, like weddings, special occasions.

[A]

Funerals.

[B]

Yeah, special occasions. This was not a special occasion. I mean, honestly, I could have pulled the special occasion card, but it wasn't that. Anyway, this man doesn't have blinds. Like a psycho at like 6:55 in the morning. I'm like. I feel like I'm like in Hocus Pocus when the sun comes up and about to blow up. Like the. What's the name of the Sanderson Sisters? I'm like, oh, this is me. I'm Winnie and I'm about to pop. I'm like, like, oh, where the. I check my phone. I go, hotel checkout. I'm staying in Times Square for a free brand deal, so don't judge me. It Was a free hotel.

[A]

That is insane.

[B]

You would do it for a bag too. I said, well, I gotta get from Brooklyn to Times Square and then I have to pack my and get the out of here.

[A]

So a similar. I've woken up in Brooklyn before. I had hooked up with this guy. I bled all over his sheets. It looks like a fucking Freddy Krueger had entered the chat. Like it was a massacre in there.

[B]

And then he's coming for you. Three, four, better luck.

[A]

I wake up. He now has like velvet sheets. They're now the color red love. And he goes, do you want to ride home? And I was like, oh, wait, you're so sweet. I would love a ride home. He met on his motorcycle. He hands me a helmet. I'm hung over his balls. I can't even walk. I'm in like a dress from the night before. A trench coat in like six inch heels.

[B]

Wait, this is Serena Vander Woodson. Kind of.

[A]

No, I have a video of it. I posted Tick Tock about it. So I walk out and this guy is not. It's like the Fast and Furious. He's driving through cars, swerving like. I think he popped Healy at one point. Like, this man was going a hundred plus miles an hour getting through traffic. Because like you. Because police cars don't go after motorcycles. I didn't know that because they're too fast.

[B]

Oh, that's a good thing.

[A]

So he was swerving a curb in and I was like, this is not what I meant. Like every.

[B]

Did you look hot though? Was like the wind blowing through your extensions. Was like the dress like a little up and you had like sexy leg. Like, was it. I feel like you. You probably looked like dashing.

[A]

My flat ass was probably like hanging off the back and blood was probably streaming down my leg.

[B]

Just whiplashing the cars behind you with blood splatter.

[A]

No, I was literally like a stuck pig. I don't know what happened. My. He like destroyed my cervix with his fingers.

[B]

Did you have to side saddle?

[A]

Side saddle? No, No. I said, no. I full on saddled.

[B]

She wrote it.

[A]

I. I think I came.

[B]

She rode that bike. So, yeah, I get back to Times Square, pack up my and get the out of New York. And now I'm back two days.

[A]

A lot of people that visit New York, they're like, I can never live here. But like, once you get in the groove, you just like really adapt. But I remember first visiting and being like, I don't get me the out of this city. It's not A place for. It's not conducive with hangovers.

[B]

Yeah, it's not conducive with hangovers. New York is like, I need space. And every time I go somewhere in New York, whether it's like a coffee shop, a restaurant, I'm on top of people. There's. I feel like I always have diarrhea here. Like, I don't know. It's just fast paced. I can't keep up with it. Probably from, like, I need to crack myself out with caffeine. And then I'm also drinking like a fish. When I'm here, I'm always on the toilet. And, like, I don't even know what toilet to go to because it's like, where am I? There's one restroom. There's a line of seven people. And it's disgusting inside. Like, it's very stressful. But I feel like I'm getting better at it as time goes on.

[A]

I mean, Philly is, like, not the most wholesome city.

[B]

Not at all. Philly's disgusting, but there's more space.

[A]

Yeah. Wait, does Jimmy live in Philly?

[B]

No, Jimmy lives in Chicago.

[A]

Isn't that the same thing?

[B]

No, very. Chicago, I heard, is very clean.

[A]

Philly geometry.

[B]

I don't know what I think. Philly and New York are probably on the same level of dirt. Philly's probably a little bit dirtier, but yeah, it was a blast, though. And thank you for doing that. And we had a great time.

[A]

It was fun. Tell me your thoughts on Valentine's Day, because it is fast approaching. What are we doing this year? How do you celebrate usually?

[B]

So I had a boyfriend the last two years. Yeah, actually, Crazy story. So two years ago, it was my first Valentine's Day in a relationship. I'm a romantic. My. My ex loved art, so I rented out a little art gallery, and I got a table and chairs, and I ordered us pasta, and we had, like, a gorgeous little Valentine's Day date. And then last year, he broke up with me on the super bowl, which was right before Valentine's Day, so I spent it alone. Then we got back together two days later, and just to break up again two months later. But this year, I'm going to Atlantic City, which I'm so fucking excited. I am an Atlantic City little bunny. Like, I love going to Atlantic City. It's so trashy. You should come. It's so trashy. It's so fun. It's just like, I love gambling. I love that I can smoke a cigarette inside an indoor place. Really? My Vibe. So this year I'm going to Atlantic City. I'm really excited. There's an event with the Southern charm guy, Craig Conover. He's hosting, like, this Valentine's Day party, and it's at my favorite resort, which is Ocean's Casino. So I'm going there with my two single besties and we're gonna just get up together. What are you doing?

[A]

I mean, I'm. I haven't been in a relationship in, like, six years, but.

[B]

You've been in a relationship, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. College, though. So, like, I haven't dated anyone since, like, 2019.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I. It wasn't a very romantic relationship.

[B]

What do you like in a relationship?

[A]

I don't really know. I honestly don't even know if I've ever been, like, in love. Now that I'm like, my frontal lobes fully developed, like, I look back at my two relationships, I'm like, was this just, like, out of convenience or, you know, age? Everyone else had a boyfriend.

[B]

I want to hear more about this. It's so funny. I remember this the other night you were, like, telling me about this, like, movie that you watched that was so good. And I was like, halle, I just, like, really can't picture you, like, sitting on the couch and watching a movie. Like, I feel like I need to know more about, like, the. The different areas of your life. Like the lulls, the lulz.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I need to know what Halle does when she's, like, bored. Do you ever get bored?

[A]

No, I just, like, over stimulate myself with, like, technology. I always have.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Something running in the background.

[B]

Yeah. But no, I think Valentine's Day is, like, I'm having a live show for my podcast the night before where we're just telling, like, really raunchy sex stories. I think Valentine's Day should. Can be fun if you're single. Like, it doesn't need to be miserable. I think it's, like, a great opportunity to get up, up with your fellow single feral rats and just have a good time. And if you don't have feral single rats, then hang out with me and Halle.

[A]

What is your raunchiest story?

[B]

My raunchy.

[A]

Are you saving it for the show?

[B]

I can tell you one.

[A]

Tell me one. I want a year.

[B]

So I had my first orgy. I guess you could say, like, not.

[A]

I had so many orgies in college. So tell me more.

[B]

So it wasn't totally an orgy because we didn't penetrate each other no pee. But basically this crazy thing happened where I was out one night, I keep, like, pulling these guys that are like on the DL and like, that's like a thing. Like older men especially. So, like, this older man comes up to me at this, like, very infamous Sceni restaurant in Philly. You would love it there. And he's like, oh, I know your work. Like, you're really fun. Like, you should come to the strip club with us later. I'm like, down. So we're having a good time. Next thing I know, him and I are doing something inappropriate in the bathroom together. And I was like, whoa, this took a turn.

[A]

I love bathrooms.

[B]

I love bathrooms.

[A]

The best place for sexual activity.

[B]

Then I. But at this point, I didn't know that this man was gay. So I already hit up my like, number one roster spot. I was like, hey, come to the club. So roster spot number one comes to the club. I'm like, well, shit, now what do I do? Because I'm sucking straight guys dick in the bathroom, but I'm trying to fudge you later. So, like, this is going to get messy. It didn't have to get messy. Next thing I know, another man enters the chat and the four of us are at my apartment. And DL guy, he's like, so, like, do you have a belt? And I was like, yeah, I do. Why? He starts whipping these men on my couch. And I was like, listen, that's not for me. I don't like pain. Go.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I don't like whipping. He choked me until I saw stars. But that was like, different. I was pretty, like, bruised for a while, but that, to me, like, felt safer than getting whipped. That doesn't really make sense, but, like, I just didn't want, like red pelts on my ass. Like, I like my butt.

[A]

We kind of like that.

[B]

I mean, I'll invite you to the next one.

[A]

I have a whip in my bedroom that is to be like indents of the hearts. So when it whips you, it leaves three heart marks on your ass.

[B]

So this is where things take a turn. So he goes, do you have rope? And I was like, that? I don't. I don't have rope.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he goes to my closet and he picks out three long sleeve T shirts and starts tying each of us up.

[A]

This is like an SVU episode.

[B]

Literally. We're all in like my queen bed laying there like we're about to just like, get like, murdered. And he ties all of our feet up.

[A]

What are you. What are you about to show me?

[B]

I have to show you this picture. You're going to Crack up. We can't show this to the camera, though. So he ties us all up. He's taking turns choking us. At one point, he sits on my face. He smothered me, basically. But, you know, it was fun, you know, no judgment. I. I enjoyed myself. Oh, I found the evening. This was the aftermath. But this is really what's. Look at my toes.

[A]

Oh, my God. Wait, not the candles.

[B]

Not the candles. The galaxy. Light the galaxy. Yep.

[A]

There's literally a galaxy. Galaxy Lane from Tik Tok Shop.

[B]

My Tick Tock shop. Galaxy lights blasting as I'm getting the lights choked out of me. Yeah, I would say that's probably my raunchiest sex story. And that happened like three weeks ago, so we're on a roll.

[A]

That's insane. I used to have orgies in college a lot.

[B]

Really? With, like, guys and girls?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, like, do the guys do, like, gay. Like, do they, like, touch each other a little bit?

[A]

I don't know. It was more just like we.

[B]

I shared my fantasy. I.

[A]

There was this one frat house on campus that we'd all go to. And I remember I was a freshman, I was hooking up with a senior, and my friend, my roommate was hooking up with this junior, and we all went into the senior's bedroom and we were all just like, having sex. Like, door unlocked. There was a full on party going on outside. We would just, like all have sex in that, like, room. It was like a room smaller, probably half the size of this room. So there was like a bed and then like a couch.

[B]

Having sex, like, not with your friend, but like, it's bond. It's very bonding. Like, I remember when I was on spring break, my two girlfriends, they like, they didn't have sex with each other, but they brought home, like two guys who were best friends, and they all had sex in the same hotel room and they were all like, taking pictures together in the mirror naked. And I was like, that's a bonding experience that you'll have for the rest of your life.

[A]

No. Yeah. And like, we share that memory.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I really want to have my roommate on this podcast, but she, like, kind of.

[B]

You have a roommate?

[A]

Like, oh, from college?

[B]

I was like, wait, where is she? No.

[A]

Yeah, she is. She is the craziest stories ever. But we would need to, like, put a mask on her and change her voice because she has a very corporate job.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That would be hilarious.

[B]

That would make sense.

[A]

My college self was extremely feral.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I also had a boyfriend at the time.

[B]

Did you party in high school? Because I have this theory, I was talking about this the other day, that you either partied really hard in high school, and then those people, I feel like, typically get married when they're 25. Or you had, like, more of a wholesome high school experience, and you've just been on a feral bender since college.

[A]

All right, mind you, I went to an all girls Catholic school. I only had sex with my boyfriend at the time. He went to the all boys Catholic school, like our brother's school. So I was pretty wholesome. But I still like to go out. I like to drink, I like to get up. But, like, sexually wise, I wasn't feral until college. And he cheated on me.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Two weeks into, like, his freshman year. And then after that, I feel like it just, like, turned my heart into ice. And I just. 10 guys that year.

[B]

I think I have something. I lost my virginity at 19 and I got crabs. I don't think I've ever told this story.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

So crabs is insane? Crabs is insane for your crotch. Oh, yeah.

[A]

No, I haven't even gotten crabs.

[B]

I hope not. I. I wouldn't recommend.

[A]

I got chlamydia once, so everyone knows.

[B]

At 19 years old, I'm just like, I'm over this whole. Your first time needs to be special. I'm doing it the gay man's way. I download Grindr, and I, a stranger from the Internet. And that is how I lost my gorgeous virginity card. I thought something was off because we had sex in this bed. I don't even know if this man lived in the apartment that we were having sex in. And then he slept on the couch, which I thought was really weird. I was like, this is a giant bed. Like, why are you sleeping on the couch? A few days later, I'm, like, really itchy. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And I start noticing little, like, specks on my pubic region.

[A]

No.

[B]

And I'm like, what is that? And I, like, pick it up. And sure enough, it looks like crap. I'm like, oh, no. I'm freaking the fuck out.

[A]

I'm never giving you a head.

[B]

This was when I was 19. Okay. Fuck you.

[A]

Are you fine? I'll give you a head.

[B]

No. This story gets so much worse. So I'm 19 years old. I don't know what to do. I don't even, like, at this point, I don't think I have, like, a general doctor. Like, I don't know what's going on. No health insurance. No. I'm raw. Dogging life and raw dogging sex. So I call my mom, and I'm like, hey, I have lice and I need help. And she goes, you have lice? She was like, I'm coming to your apartment right now. Like, we have to fumigate everything. Like, tell your roommates right now. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, okay, I don't have lice. I have crabs. I do have lice, but pubic lice. And she's like, what? And I was like, I'm really sorry, but, like, I need help. Like, I don't know what to do. My father.

[A]

I just poured vodka down my pants.

[B]

My father drives to my college campus. My father, who I've never talked about being gay with. He knows I'm gay, but we don't have deep conversations. This man picks me up and he drives me to Urgent Care. The car ride is silent. We get into the front of Virgin Care.

[A]

All you can hear is the crabs.

[B]

All I can hear is the crabs just swarming in my crotch. We get to the front of Urgent Care. He looks at me, he goes, so, do you want to talk? And I go, no. I go, can you just let me out? And he's like, okay. I go. I get this cream called Permethin. If you've ever had any kind of lice, you're familiar with the word. It's a very strong chemical that you rub on your crotch. And they give you this little comb and you comb out your pews.

[A]

I don't know if this is a universal experience.

[B]

I don't think it is, and I hope not. They kept coming back. So you want to know how I got rid of crabs? If anyone at home gets crabs, Nair. Your whole body. I was burning. I Naired my entire body, and the crabs went away.

[A]

Did you tell the guy?

[B]

Yeah, I told the guy. I said, you fucking gave me crabs. He goes, no, I didn't. I go, well, I lost my virginity to you, so there's no other person who could have given me crabs except for you. So, yeah, I had crabs at the age of 19. And that was my virginity story. What's the next topic?

[A]

Wait, this is kind of a fun question. What was the big drama from your high school?

[B]

Tell me yours. But I think I have a good one.

[A]

There was this girl who was in my friend group.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

But, like, she was kind of a. You know who I'm talking about. I'm looking directly at the camera.

[B]

Kind of a, how are you?

[A]

No, but she wasn't like, I I think I. I think she.

[B]

We need a term for that. Is. Would that, like, be.

[A]

I love sluts.

[B]

Would slore be, like, kind of a slut? No. I guess slore is, like, really bad.

[A]

Is worse than slut.

[B]

There's worse than slut.

[A]

I think being slutty is, like, kind of lore. Like, I don't know. Like, I. I kind of, like, I've definitely been called a. Yeah, I'm a slut.

[B]

I'm a slut.

[A]

I'm a slut.

[B]

I'm a slut. I'm a proud slut. I'm not a slut. Shamer. I'm a slut supporter.

[A]

No, I'm a slut supporter. But we went to an all girls Catholic school. This girl was a little on the promiscuous side. It wasn't about body count or, like, what she was doing, because I was doing. I had, like, a anal at the age of 16. Like, it's. I, like, it was pretty open to every while.

[B]

You were in all girls Catholic school?

[A]

No, but in college, so that we had a friend group. Okay. And this girl was. Was in our friend group. And also another girl was in our friend group. This girl sent a video of her, like, plastering herself with a hairbrush to her best friend's boyfriend, who is also her boyfriend's best friend.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Does that make sense?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It was, like, cross. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it got leaked.

[B]

Did she mean to send it to him?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

They kind of had, like, a weird.

[B]

So she's messy because she's, like, sending it to her best friend's boyfriend and also her boyfriend's best friend, and she's.

[A]

Cheating her boyfriend with her boyfriend's best friend, who's also dating her best friend.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. A triple.

[B]

So it's like if Serena's dating Nate and Chuck's dating Blair. Serena sent the video to Chuck?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

That's ex. That's a perfect reference. I like that.

[B]

For those who are confused at home.

[A]

Yes. For those who are confused at home. But then to add spice to this whole story, the girl was under 16, I think, and he just turned 18. Or she was 16. He just turned 18. There was some weird thing where the cops had to go to her. His house, confiscate his computer and everything, and she was shunned from our. The headmistress. I went to an all girls Catholic school. She had to sit down with the nun. They found out. Everyone in the school saw the picture, the video, the nudes. It was a whole fiasco. Also, my nudes got leaked in high school, too. It was like a thing on the hockey team where, like, they would just, like, have a hockey group chat and, like, they would just. Just send videos and pictures of us, like, having sex. It was kind of weird and I accepted it. But, like, that sounds unsafe, but yeah, she. That was like, the big drama. And it was like, it was an apology tour, like the Tour de France. It was. I've never seen anything like it.

[B]

We had, like, two freshman girls did anal at a house party. That was pretty intense, like, for 14 year olds. Like, I don't even think I knew where my butthole was when I was 14. Then there was, like, this really stupid thing. Did your high school. Well, I don't know if this is. Are we not ready to, like, glaze over that?

[A]

No, I love that.

[B]

I don't know, like, my friends who aren't from, like, my hometown think this is insane. So, like, we had our senior class trip to Disney World. I thought that was, like, a normal thing. So we all go to Disney World, and our class theme song was Turbulence by Big John or Little John. We hit Turbulence. So they played that song at, like, this dance that we had in Disney World. It was beautiful. They took us to Disney Gardens. We had such a nice, wholesome thing. But of course, someone somehow found alcohol and people were drinking on this. And when the DJ played turbulence, 40 of, like, the guys from our grade, like, ran into this, like, gorgeous pond that was infested with alligators. So all this drama, no one got bit. But everyone starts freaking out. All of the senior class trip. Like, people are screaming at them and everyone was, like, trying to pretend like they weren't in. Like, they were like, no, it wasn't us. Like, we didn't go in there. But, like, they all were soaking wet and smelled like pond water. So they all got called to the office and they all got suspended for five days. That was, like, a pretty big scandal. And I don't think they ever got to go to Disney Springs again on the future class trips, which sucked. Sorry.

[A]

It was. Wait. It was funny for my class. Senior class sleepover.

[B]

So you're gonna sleep over?

[A]

Yeah, it would be all girls. We'd sleep on the floor.

[B]

Someone was eating at that, surely.

[A]

I mean, there was definitely scandals. Like, there was a hockey coach that was finger blasting. There was a hockey coach that was one of the hockey girls in the parking lot before hockey practice.

[B]

Not me. About to be like, wait, that's kind of hot. Do you ever do, like, role play?

[A]

Role play?

[B]

Yeah. Have you ever done role play in sex? Because I think, like, teacher student is, like, hot role play lore.

[A]

I mean, I do, like, bondage once. I've done bond. I do a lot of bondage.

[B]

One time I went to this day.

[A]

You can't just bring that upon randoms, though.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Well, let's do this. Happened to me one time. I went to this day drink, and I saw this guy who I. Before I was like, easy money. Like, you're. You're coming home with me.

[A]

You're coming home, right?

[B]

And I thought we were just, like, gonna do the nasty. I didn't know it was gonna get complicated. And he was like, so you can call me Dr. Kennedy. And I was like, what do you mean I can call you Dr. Kennedy? Me? Next thing I know, number two and number three go right up my ass. He's like, I'm gonna give you a little prostate exam. I'm like, well, I thought you usually asked for permission for that. I'm, like, in stirrups up here getting my booty hole blasted. And that was the first experience I ever had with roleplay. And then he randomly shaved my back, which was really weird. And I. That was really bad, too, because this was, like, pretty. This was a year after the crab bumps, so I was still, like, pretty.

[A]

Like, honestly, he was probably preventative.

[B]

And I had really bad razor bumps, and I was like, great. But they weren't scabies. It was just razor bumps. And I was like, great.

[A]

What do you think about shower sex?

[B]

I don't like it.

[A]

I don't like it.

[B]

I don't think it's. I don't think it's effective. I don't feel like going.

[A]

Your tippy toes for a girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know how it is for shower sex.

[B]

It's like the opposite of lube.

[A]

No, it's an anti lube.

[B]

You need. And when you're doing it up the butt, you need something that is lube. You see?

[A]

Like, anal loop.

[B]

It's not conducive. I don't like it.

[A]

It's like, rubbery.

[B]

It's rubbery.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not good. I like kitchen counter sets.

[A]

I like making out in the shower.

[B]

That's making out in the shower.

[A]

So hot. Yeah.

[B]

But kind of. I just like, when I. When I'm showering, I kind of just, like, want to get clean. So I'm like, I don't, like, really need any more fluids on me.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So I'm like, let's just, like, keep that in the bedroom.

[A]

Yeah, I feel that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Once, a guy peed on me in the shower.

[B]

What'd you think?

[A]

It was warm.

[B]

The more. The more I talk to people. I. I'm not really into, like, the whole piss play, but, like, my friends are, like, really into, like, golden showers.

[A]

I'm like, what do you think about getting skull?

[B]

Can you explain? All right, should we demonstrate?

[A]

Should we demonstrate? Marshall, do you know what getting a skull is?

[B]

Is that, like, just, like, they're the out of your mouth?

[A]

Yeah. So say they're standing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And like.

[B]

Oh, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's like, kind of like what I'm.

[B]

Best at here is, like, a really unfortunate disability I have, which is a gag reflex.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I knew you're gonna go there.

[B]

Yeah. So I have a really bad gad reflex, like, sometimes. I literally threw up on Sunday from brushing my teeth. I was also really hungover, but, like, the electric toothbrush just went too far back. I was deep throat in that. And next thing I know. So skull is great, but I don't like when I. When I love the power. Do you like that? Do you like. No hands on the head?

[A]

Well, I love the knee.

[B]

Is very, like, you're doing enough. You don't need to control my head and my mouth. Like, pick a body part.

[A]

All right, listen, I think it's a power dynamic because guys think they have all the power because they're absolutely destroying your skull.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Hence the skull. But if you really wanted to bite down on their. Like, the power is really in your mouth. People don't think about that. The power's in your mouth. I always think when a man thinks he's, like, choking the out of me, degrading the out of me, I'm like, I could. One foul swipe of my jaw, and your manhood is in my stomach.

[B]

You do hold. You hold a lot of power.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Good for us.

[A]

Do you like giving head?

[B]

I do, but, like, it depends on the time and the place. If I'm hungover and you want me to put my mouth anywhere. No, I don't think anyone throws too dry.

[A]

Imagine giving head to a girl.

[B]

I think it depends on the dick. There are some dicks that are just meant to be sucked. And, like, yeah, I, like, really? I'll go. I'll give you my A game on that. But, like, if your dick is too skinny, I'm not sucking that. Like, I've.

[A]

One time I've, like, skinny works in your favor. It's like a snaking a drain.

[B]

I feel like if I was going to bottom, I would love a skinny dick. But when it comes to sucking, I want, like, a girthy dick. Like, I want to really show, like, how wide my expander is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Master Botox is intact, so I do like giving head.

[A]

It's one of the reasons I get master botox unlocks my jaw into a new dimension.

[B]

I don't really like getting head. I've only. I've only climaxed from head, like, three times in my life. I don't know if guys just don't know what the they're doing because I know what I'm doing because I've swallowed a lot, but I haven't been swallowed a lot.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I don't know. It's just. It doesn't really do it for me.

[A]

Okay, Bran, I want to go through a quick, rapid fire with you.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Just whatever your gut goes with, let's do it. Vodka has entered the chat, so I want to see. I feel great.

[B]

I feel really good.

[A]

I feel like I kind of, like.

[B]

Want to cancel my work event even though I'm getting paid. Like, let's just, like, go to dinner.

[A]

No, I know. Literally, I wish I. But I'm doing the same thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Ready?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Best pre. Going out. Dinner.

[B]

Oh, like, meal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Restaurant, I think, like, appetizers and drinks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, order. I've done this before. Order five appetizers off the appetizer menu with your girlfriend, split them and get martinis.

[A]

Tapas.

[B]

You won't be yet. Tapas. You won't be sick. You won't feel, like, gross, and you'll still, like, get all the good things.

[A]

Okay, perfect. Favorite club or bar?

[B]

My favorite club or bar. Vinyl in Philadelphia is my favorite club. I can't wait to take you there. My favorite dinner spot, which I'm gonna take you to, is Almira. Mediterranean food, sexy Greek men everywhere. Oh, such a vibe.

[A]

Love. Underrated Tick Tock follow. Like someone you follow on Tick tock that, oh, people should, like, know about.

[B]

She has a big platform, but I love the average cc. She's the one who will do videos. Be like, you're gonna be fine this week, but let's talk about it. And she just makes me feel so comforted.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, like, I love a comfort creator.

[A]

Yeah. We all need them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Favorite fast food restaurant.

[B]

McDonald's.

[A]

Favorite cocktail.

[B]

Dirty martini, period. Or a special martini. But recently, because of the anxiety stuff, Dirty Martini.

[A]

I love Cosmos.

[B]

I also really like Aperol spritzes. Is that a cocktail?

[A]

It's like a gateway drink. That's what I would call it.

[B]

Gateway drink. I like that.

[A]

It's not hard liquor, but it's like.

[B]

This is why you get the big bucks. You're creative.

[A]

Thank you. Or I'm an alcoholic.

[B]

I mean, same. But all. All. Hey, all talented artists have demons.

[A]

No. Yeah. It's like, it inspires me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Best concert you've ever been to.

[B]

Taylor Swift. Aris tour. Oh, are you a Swifty? I. I could like lowy. See h. Like, I like on her own crying to some Taylor Swift.

[A]

No, like, I like Enchanted.

[B]

I like Enchanted. Yeah. Such a good one.

[A]

Like, I like, don't. She's obviously a super talented artist, but I lean. Not towards. I lean towards like a different genre.

[B]

Do you have a favorite artist? Like, musically? No.

[A]

But, like, if it were to be, it'd be like, probably like Future. Like little baby or something. Like, something like.

[B]

Have you met Future?

[A]

Not yet. He's hot.

[B]

He's like.

[A]

Who's your celebrity crush?

[B]

Ezra from Dancing with the Stars? I don't. I just like, want to gargle his balls. I don't know what it is. I think he's really cute. Like, I like, want. I'm such a clout trout. I want to be in a celebrity scandal so badly. Like, I want like a tabloid with someone who's like, on tv. Like I would the guy from Modern Family. I don't care. Like anybody. Like, just give me someone with clout.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. My dreams.

[A]

You want to be on Dumois?

[B]

I want to be on Dumois, Yeah. Is that pathetic? Whatever. You know what? It's not pathetic if you're honest and open about it.

[A]

Put it on your mood board.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, I should.

[A]

Okay, let's see. Bottomless brunch or late night clubbing.

[B]

Late night clubbing with bottomless brunch. I love it, but I get the. I get hungover at 5pm I'm not like a day drinker.

[A]

Like, I'm not either.

[B]

I'm not really. That's not my vibe.

[A]

I'm not either.

[B]

I like to go out when the sun's coming up, not going down.

[A]

Do you have a burner account?

[B]

I don't. I actually was thinking that I should make one. You know what I want to do? I want to make a burner account that makes fan montages of myself. You know when like, clips go viral and there's like a fan manta. Have you had.

[A]

I want to see. I want to say a name of a creator that I think does this to herself.

[B]

Really? Absolutely. Yeah.

[A]

We just bleep the name.

[B]

Yeah, bleep the name. 100.

[A]

Does a hundred percent. Has a million fan accounts.

[B]

Honestly, respect. Like, that's a good. I think that's a good.

[A]

No, I think it's worked in our favor.

[B]

I think it's really working.

[A]

I think it's working because, honestly, I.

[B]

Click, like, sometimes I won't make one. Like, that's something. Like, I really just. If any of my fans are watching, like, not that there's, like, that much material of me that you could use because, like, most of my videos are just me hungover in bed. But, like, if I ever look good, like, just, like, send a screenshot to me.

[A]

Or you're like. And it's like, Tate McCray.

[B]

Yeah, like, mash me up to some Tate McCray. Or like, that new. Not new. That Heidi Montag song that's, like, going viral. Like, I like. Like, I could just see, like, a fabulous montage of me, like, walking into the club. Like, I love that.

[A]

No, we need that. I'll make one for you.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

Hal, do you have anyone you know or met in real life blocked on Tick Tock? I just unfollowed this girl who, like, cop.

[B]

The girl who copied you Ease copies. Oh, the only, like, creator. So I blocked Chara's World a while ago. Do you know her?

[A]

Yes, we follow each other.

[B]

I don't. I think I unblocked her recently. But, like, why did you block her? She was, like, kind of fetishizing lesbian stuff. And I was like, this is problematic. And I was like, I don't like her. So I blocked her for a second. I also blocked Liv Schmidt, who, like, really promotes eating disorders.

[A]

I blocked her too.

[B]

Those are the only two creatives I've ever blocked. And I unblocked her.

[A]

She followed me, and I felt bad blocking her, but it was just, like, not.

[B]

Her content's so triggering.

[A]

Yeah, it was a little triggering for me. And I don't get triggered by much, but I was like, I feel like when you have a platform, it's super irresponsible to do that. Push your.

[B]

Yeah, it's not cute.

[A]

Trauma onto others.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

I don't believe in that. So I just kind of blocked her to let her know I didn't with that for hookups. Do you prefer to host or travel?

[B]

Oh, you know what? I. This is gonna sound kind of crazy. I actually prefer to host because here's the thing.

[A]

Yeah. I travel crazy.

[B]

I traveled recently.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I was so hungover in this man's apartment, and I was like, I don't have my hangover cap. I don't have my Excedrin. I don't have my fan. I want to die. I get too drunk and too hungover. I want to be in the comfort of my own bed. And also, recently, I'm really proud of myself. I've been very bold with asking people to leave. I'll just pick. I have to go. You need to leave.

[A]

I have work.

[B]

Yeah, I have work.

[A]

I say I have work. People don't believe me, and they're like.

[B]

Oh, I will, like, be like, I have a workout class or I have something to do. And now. So ever since that. I'm good with honesty.

[A]

It's your home, so.

[B]

Yeah, I actually really like to host. I just, like, like being in the comfort of my home and knowing where everything is.

[A]

Well, Brand, I had so much fun with you today. You're crazy, and I'm obsessed with you.

[B]

I'm obsessed with you. I love you. You have to come on my podcast.

[A]

No, I would love to come on your podcast.

[B]

Maybe you'll answer your phone when I ask.

[A]

Yeah, maybe I'll answer.

[B]

Maybe Holly will text me back. I've. I'm not gonna hear from her now for, like, I don't know, three days.

[A]

You, like, leave, and I blocked you.

[B]

You know what I realized? Wait. This is so humbling. So Hallie and I, when we take our followers out to dinner, I take the cutest picture with Hallie. I'm so excited. She hasn't even liked it yet.

[A]

No, I posted on my story.

[B]

You didn't like it or comment on it, though. I'm really hurt.

[A]

I'll do that after with you.

[B]

Cheers.

[A]

Cheers. I love you.

[B]

I love you, too.

[A]

And I love you guys. Thank you for tuning in again.

[B]

Don't get crabs.

[A]

Don't get crabs.

[B]

Like, comment, subscribe.

[A]

Like comment, subscribe. And now the video version is only on YouTube, so if you want to watch us be diabolical, that's the place.

[B]

To watch it, period.

[A]

Anyways, cheers.

[B]

Cheers. I love you.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

You're the best.

[A]

Love you.

[B]

Bye.