Crashing out in Aspen with Liv & Lauren

Summary

Podcast Summary: Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder

Episode Title: Crashing out in Aspen with Liv & Lauren
Release Date: February 13, 2025
Host: Hallie Batchelder

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1. Introduction and Aspen Bound

The episode kicks off with Hallie Batchelder addressing her listeners with her signature blend of humor and candidness. She introduces her constant companion, the HydroJug Traveler, emphasizing its practicality and promoting it with a discount code (00:14). Quickly transitioning from the advertisement, Hallie sets the stage for the episode's main topic—the chaotic trip to Aspen with her best friends, Liv and Lauren.

Hallie ([00:45]): "Aspen is like one big whippet. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now."

2. Turbulent Flights and Anxiety in the Skies

The first major segment delves into the trio's harrowing flight experiences. Hallie humorously recounts her initial excitement about having a high-limit credit card (02:15) and how it led to impulsive spending during the trip. However, the flight to Aspen was far from smooth. The friends describe intense anxiety over plane crashes, especially while flying with American Eagle Airlines, leading to a comical yet stressful atmosphere on board.

Liv ([03:09]): "We were completely freaked out by the plane crashes. The entire weekend, we're like, we're gonna be going down."

Hallie admits using Xanax to cope with the flight anxiety, highlighting the genuine stress behind the laughter.

Hallie ([05:34]): "I took a Xanax. All right, so we got to Aspen. The altitude was... I was manic because I couldn't breathe, but I wanted to have sex."

3. Aspen Adventures: Clubs, Fights, and Frustrations

Upon arriving in Aspen, the friends immediately dive into the nightlife, attending clubs even before having dinner (07:42). This impulsive decision leads to a night filled with partying, fights, and unexpected encounters. Hallie shares a particularly wild moment where she brings a man home, only to regret it due to the chaotic environment.

Hallie ([09:02]): "I brought this man back, this man who, like, I hadn't met yet... Goodbye, Kyle."

The tension among the friends escalates, culminating in what they dub "the great fight of 2025," where disagreements and misunderstandings bring them closer despite the chaos.

Hallie ([12:33]): "We're gonna call this the great fight of 2025. I was circling live. Like Jaws."

4. Manic Shopping Sprees and Financial Fiascos

Hallie's manic energy leads to an uncontrollable shopping spree in Aspen. She humorously details her compulsive buying behavior, including nearly purchasing a $23,000 coat, thanks to her newfound high-limit credit card.

Hallie ([15:04]): "I wanted a fur coat and then it was like 23 grand. And I was like, honestly thinking about it."

Her friends intervene, steering her toward more affordable options, but not before her credit card bill reflects the extravagant spending.

Liv ([15:30]): "Hallie was looking way too seriously in the mirror at this coat. Like, it was literally. She tried on a 128,000 mink."

5. Pedicab Pandemonium and Unexpected Drama

One of the episode's most entertaining sections revolves around a chaotic pedicab ride home. Hallie, Liv, and Lauren navigate through drug-induced mishaps, leading to a wild encounter with the pedicab driver. The situation spirals into exaggerated threats and physical comedy, showcasing the friends' ability to find humor in even the most absurd circumstances.

Hallie ([21:35]): "So we get on the pedicab. Lauren and I are in the back. Hallie's in the front, like, facing this guy's ass..."

The friends recount the pedicab driver's over-the-top aggression and their frantic escape, blending real-life chaos with comedic exaggeration.

Liv ([25:15]): "He told us he was gonna end our bloodline if Hallie didn't make out with him again. None of that happened."

6. Personal Tales: Relationships, Pregnancy Scares, and Valentine's Vexations

As the episode progresses, the conversation shifts to more personal territories. Lauren teases an upcoming engagement, sparking discussions about relationships and the challenges of maintaining them amid the chaos of their lives.

Lauren ([45:19]): "You guys saw the Ring. And he didn't even tell me that he sent it to you."

Hallie shares a humorous yet alarming experience with pregnancy tests, revealing a past pandemic as a source of anxiety tied to her relationships.

Hallie ([48:16]): "I did it like a get ready with me. It's like, get a pregnancy test. And then it got, like, half a million views."

The trio also vents about Valentine's Day, expressing their disinterest and sharing personal struggles related to the holiday.

Liv ([44:14]): "Of all the relationships I've ever been in, I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. There's always been a break or a breakup..."

7. Closing Remarks and Final Takeaways

In the episode's closing moments, Hallie addresses her listeners directly, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries and mental health. She urges men to stop pursuing relationships through intrusive means, highlighting recent negative experiences.

Hallie ([48:55]): "Guys, this is a PSA. I want you to stop sending men that I bless. I'm looking at every angle of every camera. Stop sending them the clip lips because they are threatening me with lawsuits."

The friends wrap up the episode with light-hearted banter, reinforcing their bond despite the tumultuous events of the trip. Hallie invites listeners to engage with their content on YouTube, blending their on-air personalities with their online presence.

Hallie ([50:23]): "This is me the first time with that man and with that... I would like to thank you guys for tuning in once again and like subscribe."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Hallie ([02:15]): "No, I was so ready."
• Liv ([03:09]): "We were completely freaked out by the plane crashes."
• Hallie ([05:34]): "I took a Xanax. All right, so we got to Aspen."
• Hallie ([09:02]): "Goodbye, Kyle."
• Hallie ([15:04]): "I wanted a fur coat and then it was like 23 grand."
• Hallie ([21:35]): "So we get on the pedicab..."
• Hallie ([48:55]): "Guys, this is a PSA. I want you to stop sending men that I bless."
• Hallie ([50:23]): "I would like to thank you guys for tuning in once again and like subscribe."

Conclusion

"Crashing out in Aspen with Liv & Lauren" is a quintessential episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, blending raw honesty with unapologetic humor. Hallie and her friends navigate through a whirlwind of anxieties, manic impulses, and unexpected dramas, all while sharing relatable and entertaining stories. The episode underscores the importance of friendship, resilience, and finding laughter amidst chaos, staying true to the show's mission of providing unfiltered, relatable content for its listeners.

Transcript

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[Hallie]

To the people you guys Ever since I started podcasting I have just been drinking so much water to keep my beautiful voice lubricated. With that being said, I always have my hydro jug traveler strapped to my side. I. I legit took it with me today to get my lips filled. The hydro jug traveler is completely leak proof cup holder compatible and has a hygienic circular flip straw for easy breezy sipping. It comes in multiple colors and sizes, 40, 32 and 20 ounces. So you can find the perfect bottle that matches your style. You deserve to hit your hydration goals. Go to thehydrojug.com and use code EXTRA dirty to save 10% at checkout. That's code EXTRA [e-mail] for 10% off at checkout. All right, so we got to ask. The altitude was fucked. I got to say that Aspen is like one big whippet. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Try sight every entire intention of staying in last night. Okay, guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. We are here to discuss Aspen or top. Wait, Aspen. I keep thinking it's Tahoe we're talking about. Guys, do we like this sweater?

[Liv]

So that's a story we'll get into.

[Hallie]

Okay, we'll get into it.

[Liv]

Let's say where do we begin to.

[Lauren]

Get all the wes out of it?

[Hallie]

I know we're too wear we're expensing this item. Yeah, writing off.

[Liv]

Immediately regretted it. And then she was like, wait, but if I wear it on the pod, we can write it off and someone else will pay for it. We're like, I don't think I've been.

[Hallie]

This manic since 2022 with five guys.

[Lauren]

You were ready to buy like a $20,000 coat?

[Hallie]

No, I was so ready.

[Lauren]

Like, like this was like.

[Hallie]

No. Well, it was my first weekend. It was my first month with a credit card that the limit's 50k so I could have if I wanted to. It was so much fun because the money wouldn't come out of your bank account. But then you then you had to pay it today. I paid it today because it doesn't. Like, you don't see it subtracting automatically.

[Liv]

That's true.

[Lauren]

But you see it adding up.

[Liv]

It adds. It doesn't subtract how you think she's, like, making money. She's, like, sick.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

It's like Monopoly.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

It's like, ones, but yes. Okay, so let's start with our travel day. The travel day wasn't. What? It wasn't ideal, and it honestly put me in really bad mood and I think gave me a uti.

[Liv]

Wait, I can't, like, remember it. Can you jog? Like, my brain?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Apple juice, Orange juice. Oh, my gosh.

[Hallie]

Live.

[Lauren]

Tell it. Tell it. Well, it started out good.

[Liv]

It started out good, except that we were all, like, completely freaked out by the plane crashes. Okay. Like, the entire weekend, we're like, we're going down. And we were also flying.

[Hallie]

Wait.

[Lauren]

We were also flying American Eagle, which.

[Hallie]

I thought was a store.

[Liv]

Guys, every bump, I would look at Lauren and we'd be like this.

[Hallie]

No, but the first. The first flights, I thought we were literally going down same.

[Lauren]

The plane was squeaking before we took off.

[Hallie]

It was like, this insane. The pilot was like, run to your gate.

[Liv]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Lauren]

Yeah. The pilot goes, if. If any of you guys have a connection, you better run.

[Liv]

You better run pretty fast. Hope you don't have asthma. I was like.

[Lauren]

She also kept saying. She's like, we are past. We are past departure time. All of you guys are moving really slow. We're past departure.

[Liv]

We're extremely past departure, so you're gonna be late. We're like, okay.

[Hallie]

No. They're being so rude.

[Lauren]

You better have a picture.

[Hallie]

We are also in the back of. We are in economy.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Rose 30, middle and 31. We were middle.

[Hallie]

We are row bathroom.

[Liv]

We were sitting on the toilet.

[Hallie]

I was sitting on.

[Lauren]

Allie was sitting on the flight attendant's lap. Insane.

[Liv]

It's insane. I'm like, row 30. This must be a pretty big place.

[Lauren]

We forgot that our flight was. Wait, our. We weren't even supposed to be on that flight. Our flight got moved with no email to any one of us, so we all could have missed it.

[Liv]

No. And we get there, and I'm like, dallas? Why are we going to Dallas? We got. So we get on the first flight. It was an actual nightmare. Then we get on the 2nd, and we're anticipating worse because it's a small, little paper airplane from Dallas, Texas, to Aspen. Like, the wind. The small plane, like, I can't. Holly is in the most foul Mood. Like, I look at her in the back of the plane. She, like, snarled at me. She snarled at me.

[Hallie]

I'm sorry, but economy effects.

[Liv]

She thankfully asked for an orange juice, knowing herself all too well, took two sips, looks at me, and she goes, do you want to talk?

[Lauren]

Do you want to, like, talk?

[Liv]

I'm like, bored. Do you want to talk?

[Hallie]

I felt better.

[Liv]

No. And I was like, I would love to.

[Hallie]

Snickers bar.

[Liv]

I would love to talk. And we talked.

[Hallie]

I needed sugar. I was crashing out.

[Liv]

Yeah. You were crushing out. That was the first crash out.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

One out of 100.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Wait, so the whole weekend was filled with crashes? Crash outs. The only thing that didn't crash out was the airplane sensitive. I was sending you plane crash simulations.

[Liv]

We're at our layover. Keep in mind I'm, like, the most nervous flyer right after Lauren Fishburne. So, like, it was really bad. Like, you're two of the most nervous people on Earth. We're at our layover. I'm like, trying to relax for getting on the paper. Air airplane. I go to Tick Tock because we always send each other Tick Tocks. Halle sent me plane crash simulations, and she's like, us.

[Hallie]

I'm like, okay, no, no, I do that. It's kind of my sick joke. When I'm sitting in the middle seat with random people I don't know next to me. I watch airplane crash simulations, and people, like, look over at my phone and be like, you're a sick freak.

[Liv]

That's legit.

[Lauren]

That actually just reminded me.

[Liv]

It's, like, up.

[Lauren]

I was sending live, like, old photos of Jordan, like, happened to, like, swipe on.

[Hallie]

Like, you were saying goodbye to people. Who was saying goodbye?

[Lauren]

She wanted me to text her boyfriend saying goodbye.

[Liv]

She was air dropping notes. No, I. Okay, wait. The first, like, my WI fi didn't work. I was the only person on the entire plane. My WI fi didn't work. So I texted Lauren. I said, can you please text my boyfriend? Wait, I have him. I love it.

[Lauren]

Can you text me?

[Hallie]

Can you text it?

[Lauren]

Can you text Meeks from me and say, liv says hi? Her phone isn't working. I don't want him to think I died. And I answered back in the notes app. You're insane.

[Liv]

And then she didn't send it. We landed and I said, babe, did Lauren text you? He goes, no. Why? I'm like, fake fake.

[Lauren]

I also have other ones from you. This is my fourth time peeing. I can't even send a text or go on Instagram or Anything. What the.

[Hallie]

I know you also paid 50 bucks for wi fi.

[Liv]

We live. We have. The longest conversation was crashing out without WI fi.

[Lauren]

It says we have two hours and eight minutes left. So landing at one away to Dallas, it's like, literally going on and on.

[Liv]

Lord, I sent you every thought that. Well, Hallie didn't have her. Hi. Didn't have her airdrop on.

[Hallie]

I took a Xanax.

[Liv]

What?

[Hallie]

All right, so we got to Aspen. The altitude was. I gotta say that Aspen is like one big whippet. It's like you can't breathe. Even, like, going to the bathroom, you feel, like, out of breath. So the first night, I brought a guy home, which was really feral. That's what I knew. I was manic is because I couldn't breathe, but I wanted to have sex.

[Lauren]

We had dinner.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I think all of us were like.

[Hallie]

We couldn't See, the crazy thing about Aspen is, like, so we were there with a brand. We're on a brand trip. So we're kind of on other people's schedules.

[Liv]

Right.

[Hallie]

The first thing we did was go to a club before even having food.

[Liv]

It's giving. Communal schedule.

[Hallie]

No. Yeah. But, like, I don't think I should have brought, like, a man home on the brand trip. Well, it was giving.

[Lauren]

I feel like that's fine. Everyone was looking for.

[Liv]

We all went home.

[Hallie]

That's true.

[Liv]

Hallie needed more orange juice, and she decided. And she decided she didn't want to be in the same room as Lauren and I, so she left and she went to a club.

[Hallie]

Wait, was that that night?

[Liv]

That was the first night.

[Hallie]

We got in a fight the first.

[Liv]

Night and the second.

[Lauren]

Guys, these people are gonna think that we're insane.

[Liv]

No, we are.

[Lauren]

Like, the brand is literally, like. Okay, so these three girls fought every.

[Liv]

No.

[Lauren]

Because.

[Liv]

No, because at lunch, we literally sat down with Delaney and we were like, so tell us now, do you think we're crazy? She was like, no. We're like, tell us now. Do you really think we're crazy? She's like, no. Why? No.

[Lauren]

But they also watched us fight and then, like, make up and, like, giggle. Like, all in.

[Liv]

Oh, my God, I looked insane. I was crying at the table. Then I was taking a shot with Ali. We were kissing on the lips, and then I was rolling my eyes at Lauren and then I was throwing up, crying, screaming. Like, it was. Seriously.

[Hallie]

I remember when I was circling you like a shark.

[Liv]

Do you want to get into that now? Are we ready?

[Hallie]

No, we'll wait. Okay, so I brought this man back this man who, like, I hadn't met yet.

[Liv]

It's giving one night stand.

[Hallie]

It's giving one night stand. And I'm like this weird face right now where I slept with him. And I just felt like I needed to let him go into the ocean. Goodbye. You'll never hear from me again.

[Lauren]

Goodbye, Kyle.

[Hallie]

Goodbye, Kyle.

[Liv]

He was like, cute, though.

[Hallie]

No, he was so cute. But he lives in la. I don't want to do that to my heart.

[Liv]

He woke me up. All I heard was, that's hilarious. I'm like, not Ali cracking jokes, other one. That's hilarious.

[Hallie]

We shared a wall. I'm shocked. You didn't hear, like, anything.

[Liv]

I was like, waiting too. I didn't hear plays like you. I was like, let's see what's going on.

[Hallie]

Let's see what this is made of.

[Lauren]

I've actually done that a few times. I've never heard H, but I'm always.

[Liv]

Like, I didn't hear cup Holly silently.

[Hallie]

No. Cuz I'm not like a silent lover.

[Liv]

Maybe you were just being courteous of me and Lauren.

[Hallie]

I don't think.

[Lauren]

I don't think so.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I like, remember blacking into being on top of this man, which is crazy. It makes me feel like an alcoholic. And I, like, was like, wait, who am I on top of right now?

[Lauren]

Hal walked in the next morning being like, yeah, what would she do?

[Liv]

She was. I blocked back in and I go, who am I on top of?

[Hallie]

That's ever happened to you in college?

[Lauren]

No.

[Liv]

No.

[Hallie]

Or you're like, you. No, that's happened to me a lot recently. Wait, maybe caught that actually.

[Liv]

Keep it in.

[Hallie]

But he was cute. And then his phone was on 2% so he left. But I have no. I don't remember anything. I like, do you ever, like, not remember finishing the act? Like, just going to bed, passing out after?

[Lauren]

No. Mine. No. Because it entails, like, a cleanup and going to the bathroom to pee and it's a thing. It's a thing.

[Liv]

Brush my teeth.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Let's just compare together.

[Hallie]

You've never had drunk sex where you just, like, are having sex and then, like, you go to bed?

[Liv]

No, I definitely have.

[Hallie]

Yeah, Come on.

[Lauren]

I'll get a uti.

[Hallie]

I have to pay.

[Liv]

Lauren is insane. Lauren's drunk sex is after, like, one drink.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

So let's be real.

[Hallie]

She, like, records it too.

[Liv]

Lauren, like, works after she has drunk sex.

[Hallie]

She, like, it's on her one drink and say, pull out your iPhone and your Alex Earl light.

[Lauren]

Set it up. I can't help Myself.

[Liv]

Laura gets up in the LEO and props up her phone on Snapchat and then sends it to the group.

[Hallie]

She live streams it on Twitch.

[Lauren]

Guys, it's a Leo thing. I can't help it.

[Hallie]

It's a Leo thing. I want to see my back.

[Lauren]

Sh. Someone's gonna, like, hack my phone.

[Hallie]

What else do we do?

[Liv]

Okay, wait. It's giving. It's giving invisible cloak.

[Lauren]

Wait, can you picture.

[Hallie]

Like, we can explain.

[Lauren]

Wait, they should, like, put effects to it.

[Liv]

She's over it.

[Lauren]

Like, Hali disappears.

[Liv]

Oh, my God, Yes. Like a green screen.

[Lauren]

Like special effects.

[Liv]

I'm done.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Goodbye, cloak. All right, so then the second day. I mean, hangovers are no fun. They're not for the weak. Lunged people there because you just can't really breathe at all. You, like, go to pee, you can't breathe. It's just like you can't breathe there. I smoke cigarettes and I vape and I'm proud of that. And you just can't. You can't. My lungs aren't built for Aspen or.

[Liv]

I wasn't ready. I was not ready for that hangover.

[Hallie]

Okay, so then we went out all day long.

[Lauren]

Saturday was great, guys. Like, vibes were up. We had so much fun.

[Liv]

We were giggling, we were laughing.

[Hallie]

It was the fight night.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

The vibes were actually so high up. No gravity.

[Lauren]

That's why they crashed so hard, because they were.

[Hallie]

And we're gonna call this the great fight of 2025. I was circling live. Like Jaws.

[Lauren]

No, it was the scene. Like, how the. Like the three.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

So it's basically two rooms next to each other. Or headboards on the same wall.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Okay. Two different rooms, though.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Bathroom in between. It's like a Jack and Jill bathroom. So two doors in the bathroom. We shared it. Halle is circling around. She would sometimes come through the hall and then sometimes come through the bathroom and be like. And one more thing. And it was. It was. It was kind of funny. I guess now looking back on it, it definitely made us closer.

[Hallie]

Thank you, Shopify, for sponsoring this episode of Extra Dirty. Have you heard of Shopify? It's the commerce platform behind all the big brands you love. Oh. And it's the best place that you can start, grow and manage a business, too. With Shopify, you can sell online and in person, locally and globally, direct or wholesale, desktop to mobile. And it's not just a platform powering your favorite swap pants brand. It's powering your mom and pop shop down the street too. Shopify even lets you sell products across all Big social apps so you can build customers and reach impulse shoppers. Do you guys remember when we sold those Extra Dirty T shirts? We sold those using Shopify. They really give you all the tools to start your small business and sell your products online. Start plotting your business with Shopify. Get on shopify.com/extra dirty and become your own boss. That's shopify.com/extra dirty. Thank you Shopify for sponsoring this episode of Extra Dirty.

[Lauren]

Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't be? The ang Angel Reef special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. It's gonna be a high C for me.

[Hallie]

Sound good?

[Lauren]

All you have to do to get it is beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Angel Reese]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Hallie]

So I had a manic shopping day and it was, you know, one of those things where just manic and it.

[Lauren]

Was almost a problem bringing you into a store.

[Hallie]

You wanted to go shopping, babe. I said okay. Usually I don't like to really do much activities during the day.

[Liv]

Once we got out there though, you were flying unstoppable.

[Hallie]

I was unstoppable. Yeah. Yeah. My credit card bill reflects.

[Lauren]

She was like, one more store, one more, one more.

[Hallie]

I wanted a fur coat and then it was like 23 grand. And I was like, honestly thinking about it.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And then we steered you to the cheaper option. And the cheaper option.

[Liv]

Oops.

[Hallie]

Was that cotton ball number.

[Liv]

Hallie was looking way too seriously in the mirror at this coat. Like, it was like, literally. She tried on a 128, 000 mink.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

She was like, this is really cute. I was like, okay, put it down, put it down, put it down. Pick up some fox.

[Hallie]

But I feel like when I'm manic, I'm like, I feel like low key. I'm manic depressed though sometimes, like, I go through these phases where I'm like not doing much and then I'll like sleep with a bunch of guys and like shop a lot. That's like, man, that's mania. That's mania.

[Liv]

It's like girlhood.

[Hallie]

Yeah. That is girlhood. You're right.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I don't feel bad about it, honestly. I look at it as like content for the podcast.

[Liv]

That's insane to say write off.

[Lauren]

It's a Right.

[Hallie]

It's a write off.

[Liv]

Because my mental health is a write off.

[Hallie]

My mental health is a write off. What is a write off? Is it an expense?

[Liv]

No, no.

[Lauren]

An expense is like, for example, like, I can expend something if I'm going on a work trip, right. I'll buy a flight. My work will cover my entire flight. I don't like. It doesn't hurt me.

[Liv]

A write off is when taxes come. You don't.

[Lauren]

A tax thing.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I don't like taxes.

[Liv]

We don't like taxes.

[Hallie]

You weren't. What else do we do?

[Lauren]

You had a therapy session in front of.

[Hallie]

Oh, the tarot card.

[Liv]

Rito. Rito.

[Hallie]

So, like, this brand obviously, like, hooked us up with a bunch of activities.

[Lauren]

This. Wait, so the tarot card reader was also, like, after the great fight, which.

[Hallie]

Was very, like, reactive. Was like the great wall of China. It was the great fight of 2025.

[Liv]

It kind of was. It was expensive. Explosive.

[Hallie]

No.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

No. So the. Yeah, but, like, also the tarot card reader was, like, trying to get really deep, and there was, like, a audience, and she was like, how do you feel about your future in your career?

[Liv]

Well, it started with no one.

[Hallie]

I don't know.

[Lauren]

Yeah, everyone was out there.

[Liv]

And the second Holly got on the couch, like, 12 people came out, and she was like, okay, well, this is not what I signed up.

[Hallie]

No, Like, I was. I was having a panic attack.

[Lauren]

Oh, really?

[Hallie]

Yeah. Can no one tell?

[Liv]

Wait, you should have just stopped.

[Hallie]

I was like.

[Lauren]

She was like.

[Hallie]

She was like, how's your love life?

[Liv]

I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes Halle forgets she's free Will.

[Hallie]

Well, yeah, I.

[Liv]

You could have just said, actually, I don't really want to do this anymore. I'm sorry isn't for me.

[Hallie]

It was kind of, like, similar to the situation where the.

[Liv]

The phone.

[Hallie]

There was a girl sitting on my phone for 45 minutes, and I couldn't, like, sum up the courage to, like, say, hi, you're sitting on my phone. It was in her. We had to, like. It was like.

[Lauren]

You also had, like, opportunity, like, hal, sit on your phone.

[Hallie]

No, it was, like, under me.

[Lauren]

It was like this for a little bit.

[Hallie]

Like.

[Lauren]

Like that. She could have just. She could have just reached down, but.

[Hallie]

Then she lit up. Swear she went like this.

[Liv]

No, she was like. She. This woman was twerking on his phone.

[Hallie]

Live after 45 minutes ago. Live. You have to call her. And I think she probably came.

[Liv]

Holly was still being shy you were still being shy about getting the phone back. And I could tell you still didn't want to. Like, I don't know why you just didn't want to.

[Hallie]

Like, it was Tish Cyrus. She was playing country house. It was freaking. The whole thing.

[Liv]

We were freaking out.

[Hallie]

The whole thing situation was a little freaky deaky for me.

[Liv]

So I pretend like the last 30 minutes didn't happen. And I go, hallie, where's your phone at? And you go, I don't know. Where's my phone?

[Lauren]

Out?

[Liv]

And I go, I'll call it.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

So the woman could hear us having.

[Hallie]

This interaction about it.

[Liv]

She goes up. Something's vibrating under me.

[Hallie]

I'm like, I lose my phone all the time.

[Lauren]

I'm like, oh, are we gonna talk on Brandy Cyrus, guys?

[Hallie]

No. I mean, bless her soul. It just like, it was. This was on Sunday after a long weekend of drinking on my part. I was hungover and we were like, in this tent at Snow Lodge, right? And it was like country music themed.

[Liv]

DJs, but it was house.

[Hallie]

But the first one wasn't house music. The second DJ that went on was like, country house. And Lauren had a physical reaction to the mashup of Avicii in Old Town Road.

[Lauren]

It.

[Hallie]

Wait.

[Lauren]

That'S exactly what it was.

[Liv]

Lauren's like, this music is terrible. I'm panicking.

[Hallie]

No, she was sweating. Clammy eyes were, like, watering. You looked like you OD'd on, like, whip. Its fentanyl.

[Liv]

And I was, like, drinking water. Lauren looks at me, she goes, I don't really feel good. Me and Halle are like, shut the up, Lauren. And then five minutes later, she, like, touches me. Her hand was hotter than the sun. She's like, I really don't feel good. I need to leave. I'm like, oh, my God, get away from. She was sicko.

[Hallie]

She was dripping in sweat.

[Lauren]

I tried orange juice. I tried mixing it with myself. And I was like, maybe I just need some sugar.

[Liv]

I wish I had footage of Lauren going back to the hotel room alone and, like, crash.

[Lauren]

Wait, guys. I was, like, wobbling. I was wobbling. Like, I literally was walking down the street and I was like. Like I was zigzagging Lauren after hearing.

[Liv]

A song she doesn't like. Like, that's insane, Lauren.

[Hallie]

Two, three. This music is ass. And you almost killed it.

[Lauren]

No, I did. I actually didn't mind the music.

[Liv]

Lauren, you hated the music.

[Hallie]

Anyways, we get back, we need a ride. Is that the petticoat?

[Liv]

Anyway, we. No, we went. We went home. Then we went to dinner. Then we went to Caribou club, which was like the zero bond of Aspen. It was sick.

[Hallie]

Yes.

[Liv]

Then the pedicab driver took us the home, and that's when Halle had her little escapade.

[Hallie]

You guys were convinced that there were no Ubers in Aspen. I'm like, be the most for there's Ubers in Aspen.

[Liv]

I was literally lying. I was like, there's no Ubers. We must trek home. Like, it was crazy.

[Lauren]

We got in the petty cab, and he was like, where are two girls? We were like, home.

[Liv]

No. He literally goes, where to? I remember being so dramatic and being like, this is my moment. Like, this is literally my moment. I go home.

[Hallie]

Home.

[Liv]

He goes, I need an address, lady. I'm like, oh, right.

[Lauren]

And I put myself at home.

[Hallie]

Where do you want to go? Take me home.

[Liv]

Take me home, baby.

[Hallie]

Take me home.

[Liv]

Rock my world happened.

[Hallie]

Okay, so what got me going?

[Liv]

So was it the.

[Hallie]

How was it the fact that he was in seventh gear? Was it the lights? Was it the music? Holly's made me wet. On the pedicab ride home.

[Liv]

You have a few mute mutes.

[Hallie]

You have.

[Liv]

You have a few. A few moods you get into when you're drunk. This is my favorite one you get into. She's giggling at everything. She's basically skipping down the street. Like, she's just so happy.

[Lauren]

We took shrooms.

[Liv]

We took shrooms. Yeah.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

So we get on the pedicab. Lauren and I are in the back. Hallie's in the front, like, facing this guy's ass, basically in the overalls. Lauren and I are in the back. We're like, vlogging on Tick tock. Like, I don't know.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

And we hear Hallie going, oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? And Lauren goes, wait, did you hear that? And I go, no. What? And then I hear it again. She goes, yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you? And we're like.

[Hallie]

The only thing I know how to.

[Liv]

Say, we're like, who's she on the phone with? Like, who is she FaceTiming right now? Nope. The phone was down. She was talking to the pedicab driver. He's like, yeah, I like that.

[Lauren]

They went back and forth at least, like, five times.

[Hallie]

And I was like, he was in.

[Liv]

There's other people in the room here.

[Hallie]

It was just like, the fact that, like, out of all of the rich, wealthy men that travel to Aspen, that have homes in Aspen, I picked a homeless guy that lives in the back of his pedicab the struggling dj would have been better. Well, I blessed him too.

[Liv]

Yeah, it was insane. So anyway, we get home and I'm.

[Hallie]

Like, I was really giving back this weekend. I was giving to the economy with my purchases, and I was giving back to these men.

[Liv]

This entire weekend was a write off for you.

[Lauren]

Wait, guys, I'm sorry. I'm cracking up a Marshall. He's sitting at the screen.

[Liv]

He's like, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, for sure. So we get home. So let me just guess it. I just want to, like, paint this picture. I just want to paint this. Okay. I spilled wine on Halle's couch. Now everyone's mad at me. I want to paint. Oh, my God, Ali, I'm scared.

[Lauren]

Oh, my gosh.

[Liv]

Crashing out again. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday.

[Hallie]

You know that song, the club's going.

[Liv]

Up anyway, so listen, listen. I want to paint this picture as.

[Hallie]

I can hear the ocean.

[Liv]

So funny. And Holly said she wants to insert the video, so that will be inserted. This pedicab was blasting, like, boom, boom, craziest music.

[Hallie]

It was actually mixed with Skrillex.

[Liv]

It was insane. Should I pull up the. The sound?

[Hallie]

Yeah, no, like, let's just clip it.

[Lauren]

I, like, dream about that sound. I've heard it so much.

[Hallie]

But, like, I didn't think we had cash to pay for his generous ride. So I had a philanthropic mouth and throat with my tongue as I was cash. And I serviced him with my mouth and said thank you. Then he put his kickstand down so quick. Shifted from gear 7 to gear 1 so quick. Ran up the stairs, chased us.

[Liv]

He, like, skirted. No, this is. This is really bad.

[Lauren]

He wanted your number so bad.

[Liv]

I get off the pedicab, I'm like, all right, ladies, let's go home. I turn around to see where my friends are before I open the store. Lauren's paying him and Halle's making out with him. But not just making out. Like, this was some full on straddle.

[Hallie]

We fell over.

[Liv]

Ally, are you on Instagram right now?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Did you just forget?

[Hallie]

I'm just catching up.

[Lauren]

She's just scrolling with no sound.

[Liv]

Howie just forgot that she was clocked into work for a second.

[Hallie]

What? I was just looking at the Siri XM post.

[Lauren]

Looking at. I was looking at my boss.

[Hallie]

I was looking at my.

[Liv]

Anyway, H's making out with this man. Basically making babies on the petty cab. I. We summon her to the door.

[Hallie]

Hi. Hi, Allie. Let's go.

[Liv]

She comes to the door. He kickstand. Okay, cue the kickstand.

[Hallie]

Cue the kickstand.

[Liv]

All I heard was, yeah, and then his boots. Like, we turn around, he lunges at us, grabs all six of our legs in his arms like this, and drops down. We all go flying down the stairs. It was insane. It was insane.

[Lauren]

And then he kicked us.

[Liv]

And then he told us he was gonna end our bloodline if Hallie didn't make out with him again. None of that happened. I just want to be clear. I got. I lied. My friends think I'm a liar, and that's.

[Hallie]

Nobody did chase us up the stairs, but he didn't drag us.

[Lauren]

We all started screaming. And I've never seen a man, like, revert so fast.

[Liv]

I literally was, like, screaming bloody murder.

[Hallie]

And I still give my number. Let me see.

[Liv]

Who am I? Love you. See you in a bit. That's what hi said.

[Hallie]

Me. I'm guessing. I'm guessing you're talking about me. Yeah.

[Liv]

What's wrong? Holly has a bubble in her throat.

[Hallie]

Hi, I'm a bubble. What are you.

[Liv]

So, anyway, the pedicab driver actually just called us while we were having technical difficulties. I think it's time to call him back.

[Hallie]

You want me to do it? Yeah, let's go. He goes, hi. Who is this?

[Liv]

Wait.

[Lauren]

Send him the video. Remind him.

[Hallie]

He must be biking right now.

[Liv]

I don't give a. Guys.

[Hallie]

Okay, let's continue talking, because that's what a podcast is.

[Angel Reese]

Building a business may feel like a big jump, but On Deck, small business loans can help keep you afloat, with lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to 250,000. On deck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top rated online small business lender, Ondeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtibank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

[AutoTrader]

Look around. You can find cars like these on autotrader. New cars, used cars, electric cars, maybe even flying cars. Okay, no flying cars. But as soon as they get invented, they'll be on Auto Trader. Just you wait. Auto Trader.

[Hallie]

What?

[Lauren]

Oh, let's talk about the plane.

[Hallie]

Oh, no, not yet.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Hallie]

Or when I sat on my kino Sabi hat. You know? Yeah, guys, we're in a room where, like, there was 19 million thousand billion chairs in the room, and I happened to just buy a kimo Sabi Hat, which, by the way, caused a lung transplant. It was on the chair, and I sat on it with my bony ass cheeks and sat right down on that.

[Lauren]

There were.

[Liv]

Our room was huge. So you walk into our room, basically, and it's a living room, but it's like three living rooms in one with a dining room, a billion seats, like, 30 empty seats, literally maybe 35. And. And three couches and ottomans.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Liv]

Holly chooses to take a seat, and she didn't just sit. She, like, slammed down.

[Lauren]

Hallie was already sitting. She took in a different chair.

[Hallie]

I was sad.

[Lauren]

Ali was already sad.

[Hallie]

I was sat on your decided to.

[Lauren]

Get up and change chairs. And the one chair she chose, she basically hopped in the air.

[Hallie]

I'm a hopper. Was a levitation. There was a lack of gravity and Aspen. I don't want to talk about it.

[Liv]

She John Cena KO'd her chemo sabe hat. Also, she sat on my laptop, and when I got home, it was glitching, by the way. I had to restart my laptop.

[Hallie]

Wait, am I heavy?

[Liv]

She sat like this. I'm gonna take a seat.

[Hallie]

No, it was like this after. I'm gonna take a seat.

[Liv]

On her. 1500. Yeah.

[Lauren]

And she gets up, and the hat is just dented.

[Liv]

She's like, what are we doing?

[Hallie]

What are we talking about now? I missed that man I brought home.

[Liv]

We're crashing out. Wait, we need an intermission. We need something.

[Hallie]

No intermission.

[Liv]

No. Crash out intermission. Crash out intermission. On camera.

[Hallie]

Okay.

[Liv]

Crash out intermission. Tell us about the man.

[Hallie]

We have a new man that I want to see this week.

[Liv]

Oh, he's cute.

[Lauren]

Yes, he's very cute.

[Hallie]

I haven't heard from him yet, and I'm, like, crashing out about it.

[Lauren]

Did you text him?

[Hallie]

No, I don't have his number.

[Lauren]

Did you DM him?

[Hallie]

No. Why would I do that?

[Liv]

Oh, could be a power move.

[Hallie]

What do I say?

[Liv]

You're sexy. Come over.

[Hallie]

No, I'm not saying that.

[Liv]

I'm kidding. I would never.

[Hallie]

I hope you would never talk to a man like that.

[Liv]

I wouldn't.

[Hallie]

That's not the play.

[Liv]

Literally, just say hi.

[Hallie]

No, no.

[Liv]

Yes.

[Lauren]

That's my favorite thing that you do.

[Liv]

Yeah, that's like a power move. Hi.

[Lauren]

I like that.

[Hallie]

Wait, you want to read our conversation, though?

[Lauren]

Oh, before we. No, before we became friends. Like, I never. Like, I do that now because of you. Live will just, like, send me in the first thing in the morning. Just.

[Hallie]

Hi.

[Liv]

Like, I have nothing to say. I just want to say hi, read the whole thing. Hi. And then she'll be like, what's up? And I'm like, nothing, nothing.

[Lauren]

Just wanted to say hi.

[Hallie]

You know, I, like, might like a person when I, like, don't want to talk about it on this podcast. I. You know what's been happening to me a lot recently is I'm getting, like, text. Being like, I'm threatening with a cease and desist if you keep talking about me online. I'm like, wait, babe, just walk every day with anxiety. I walk every day with anxiety.

[Liv]

Was crazy. I walk with anxiety all day, but every day.

[Hallie]

Okay, you're a man. Well, like, I. I mean, like, someone doesn't want me to talk about them and asks me not to talk about them.

[Lauren]

It's like telling a little. I know.

[Hallie]

No, but, like, I won't talk about them.

[Lauren]

I would.

[Hallie]

I mean, just be polite about it and ask me. I was like, I don't talk about you. Then you don't exist to me. You're dead to me. No, I don't think so. For. I got. The first thing I go is, I'm gonna tell Lauren. I'm gonna tell Lauren.

[Liv]

Wait, I have a lot.

[Hallie]

You bring him up.

[Liv]

I have a lot of thoughts on this conversation.

[Hallie]

Wait, what are your thoughts?

[Liv]

I don't know. I don't really like that he called you mama.

[Lauren]

Like, he's being mama.

[Liv]

I like. I like that. But, like, once you're, like, more, no way. I think he's like, he's never met you, and he goes, mama. Like, that's hot.

[Hallie]

If you're like, no, wait, I think he's trying to be funny. Did you read the rest of the comments?

[Liv]

I read it all.

[Hallie]

No, like, the rest of the conversation is funny.

[Liv]

You were being nice to him.

[Hallie]

No, wait, I am nice.

[Liv]

No, I know, but, like, to a random man. Like, wait, did you send him a shark?

[Hallie]

What is that?

[Liv]

Well, can I be honest?

[Hallie]

It's an alien crying.

[Liv]

I just pictured you being more like stern with men. And, like, this is like a cute, little, fun, flirty Holly. And I'm like, I love to see it.

[Hallie]

Do you see I just saw my number.

[Liv]

Yeah. Power move.

[Hallie]

You didn't use it.

[Liv]

When all else fails and you don't know what to say, just send your number if you.

[Hallie]

I mean, I feel like that's kind of like your power move. Like, let's stop texting over DM send.

[Liv]

Yeah. Like, why are you DMing me? Like, we're almost.

[Hallie]

Grow up. I'm almost 30 years old.

[Lauren]

L about to be like, I'm no.

[Hallie]

I turned 26, and the air is different.

[Liv]

Actually.

[Hallie]

It's, like, weird. I have a boyfriend. He's, like, my best friend.

[Lauren]

We're, like, almost 30.

[Hallie]

Yeah, we're almost 30.

[Lauren]

And I'm giving that Kylie and Kendall thing where it's giving.

[Liv]

I'm young and I have a boyfriend who's my best friend.

[Hallie]

You line me up for that? Can we talk about leaving Aspen?

[Lauren]

Yes. Yes.

[Hallie]

Because this goes into how dramatic Liv is as a person and human being.

[Liv]

And I think that's the root of a lot of problems.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Do you want me to change who I am?

[Hallie]

No. I actually found it entertaining. From row 30, we're in row 29. I was like, you know what? Yeah.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

That was also live. Like, I'm realizing, like, you and me traveling together is a really bad combination.

[Hallie]

We should have switched seats.

[Liv]

Lauren, we were fine.

[Lauren]

Really? Because I was like, I thought we were going down, and every time I would look at you, you would, like, encourage my bad behavior.

[Liv]

Do you know what I thought? I thought it was, like, a joke.

[Hallie]

Wait, hold on. Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. Encourage? You mean validate?

[Lauren]

Validate.

[Liv]

That was in you to die.

[Hallie]

That was.

[Liv]

Sorry. It's a crazy.

[Hallie]

Lauren, like, finds her way around words sometimes.

[Lauren]

Like, I just don't know them.

[Liv]

Yeah, Lauren, don't act dumb.

[Hallie]

She was like, russian was my first language. I just don't know Russian.

[Liv]

Lauren will, like, be talking normal and, like, a Russian word or a Russian name. Like, her nail lady name is Dasha. Okay. She's like, oh, yeah. Like, I'm going to get my nails done later. I'm going to see Dasha. Like, super Russian. I'm like, okay, wait.

[Hallie]

Say something in Russian. Say, halle is a big, worthless slut in Russian.

[Lauren]

I will not say, liv is young.

[Hallie]

Say, h is a powerful, very gorgeous slot in Russian.

[Lauren]

Wait, I don't even know what it.

[Hallie]

Oh, what?

[Liv]

Wait, that's one word.

[Lauren]

Like was like. I was making myself. I was like. I don't know how to say it. I don't know, like, bad girl or bad girl.

[Hallie]

I feel like. And that's on. God.

[Liv]

And that's on.

[Lauren]

Period.

[Hallie]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Ali actually has great Russian pronunciation.

[Hallie]

Thank you. I am. I'm great with my tongue.

[Angel Reese]

Building a business may feel like a big jump, but on deck, small business loans can help keep you afloat with lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to 250,000 on deck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business as a top rated online small business lender. Ondeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtibank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

[AutoTrader]

Look around. You can find cars like these on autotrader. New cars, used cars, electric cars, maybe even flying cars. Okay, no flying cars. But as soon as they get invented, they'll be on Auto Trader. Just you wait. Auto Trader.

[Hallie]

Let's go back to the plane ride home. Yeah, the Boeing 787.

[Lauren]

Wait, this is so funny.

[Hallie]

Wait, that was 737. So we were in group eight, which is crazy. I didn't even know there was a Group 8, to be honest. We were in the back of the bus. I was sitting on the flight attendant's lap, and she was showing me her children.

[Liv]

No, we were, like, as far back as you can possibly.

[Hallie]

No, we were with the.

[Liv]

We were behind the bathroom.

[Hallie]

We were behind the bathroom.

[Liv]

We were in cargo.

[Lauren]

And so we sit down, and it's me and Liv in a row.

[Liv]

It's me and Lauren in a row. Hallie's directly behind us.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So.

[Liv]

And we get on this plane. We're like, guys, we made it. Fourth flight. We're on fourth and final flight. We made it. We're almost there. Nothing can go wrong at this point.

[Hallie]

I wasn't thinking like that.

[Liv]

So we get to our row. Okay. Of course, out of every seat on the plane, my seat, the plane was broken. Like, there was a piece of the plane missing. You could see bolts and screws and padding. And it was padding.

[Hallie]

It was like vanity, though. But it looked like it might detach from the back.

[Liv]

Please validate.

[Lauren]

It looked like, like, half the plane could, like, potentially, like, fall off.

[Hallie]

So I've been a lot of plane crashes recently.

[Liv]

Yeah. American. So I look at them and I go, so my seat looks broken. The plane looks broken. The wall of the plane looks broken. So I go to the flight attendant, like, casually. I'm just like, hey, I just want to let you know, like, that things missing. She goes, oh, my God. I need to picture. And I need to get the captain.

[Hallie]

Yeah. We were like, put face up. Kiss one on that and tag me.

[Liv]

So we're. So we're just like, kicking with the flight attendants. Okay. They were being kind of funny. We turn, I get a tap on my shoulder.

[Lauren]

Well, they said the first flight attendant, she was cool.

[Hallie]

We were like, we Wanted to go with Kiki the river there.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But then the second flight attendant, the.

[Liv]

Gay flight attendant was also cool.

[Lauren]

Also gave you side eye when you walked into the flight and asked him how long the flight was.

[Liv]

He also was giving me sass. He goes, listen, three people have sat here and none of them complained about this. So if you broke this off, just tell me where the piece is. I go, this is a four foot long piece of plastic. Where do you think I'm hiding in my vagina?

[Hallie]

I'm like, she's 26 years old. You think she just got on this fl is like hiding plastic from you?

[Liv]

Yeah. You think I'm trying to break the plane and kill everyone on board? There's 236 passengers on here. I'm trying to get home too, buddy.

[Hallie]

Yeah. What?

[Liv]

And then he started laughing. He was like, I don't know why I asked that. I don't know why you asked that either.

[Hallie]

He was. The pilot's making accusations.

[Lauren]

Yeah. He blamed it on the pilot.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

He goes, I think he didn't realize he. For you. He didn't think that you were going to come back at him.

[Hallie]

He didn't know you were Olivia Manning on the plane.

[Liv]

I don't want to go to jail. Don't be weird. I didn't break the plane off.

[Hallie]

And then, then what did he say? The pilot?

[Liv]

Pilot taps on. I hear, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

[Hallie]

Turn on.

[Liv]

It's a fucking captain of the ship. He's like, hello, ma'am, I would like to talk to you about the missing piece. I'm like, oh, my God. Everyone on the plane is looking at this point like these annoying girls in fur and kimo sabe hats. Like, what is going on in the back plane? It was already delayed. Everyone was pissed off.

[Lauren]

Yeah. It wasn't ready to.

[Liv]

And he's like basically just explaining to me like, it's fine, but if I feel uncomfortable because it is my seat, you know, we can call maintenance and we, we will have to sit here for two hours. But we can't get it fixed for.

[Hallie]

We might sit here for two hours. If you feel unsafe, ma'am, if you.

[Liv]

Personally feel unsafe, we will all sit here together. Together as one in unity. And we will wait for maintenance together and pray in Jesus name. Amen. And I rebuke this.

[Lauren]

Me and living.

[Liv]

And I was like, no, it's fine. No, no.

[Lauren]

We've never like been like, it's okay. So quickly.

[Hallie]

You were already looking at other flights.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah.

[Hallie]

Lauren.

[Liv]

Lauren looks at me she goes, if we get deplaned, I'm gonna be so mad at you.

[Lauren]

I never said that the plane. I never said I'll be so mad. I just.

[Liv]

No, I go, will you be mad at me? And you go kind of.

[Hallie]

I. I wouldn't piss.

[Liv]

Okay.

[Hallie]

Every. People were gonna like beating you up. They would have like hit you.

[Liv]

Okay, but. Okay, but what if we got in the air and the plane broke and then everyone was like, why didn't this dumb say something?

[Hallie]

Wear your seat belt, guys.

[Lauren]

Anyway, that seat belt thing, I was actually thinking about it. Like, come, like, come on. Is the seatbelt really gonna help us? No, anything we need.

[Liv]

Like the straps.

[Hallie]

But anyway, like a roller coaster.

[Liv]

Anyway, I just want to say that when we were flying, I felt a breeze from the crack. I was freezing the whole flight.

[Hallie]

You're lying.

[Liv]

I'm not.

[Hallie]

You were. Felt you. You felt a breeze.

[Liv]

There was a breeze coming through the crack.

[Hallie]

No, it wasn't.

[Liv]

There was a drop.

[Hallie]

I was probably the draft from the air vent up top.

[Liv]

No, the air van was over here. The draft is going this way.

[Lauren]

This way.

[Hallie]

That's not a thing. There's like 19 layers. I researched.

[Lauren]

I saw light. She saw light coming.

[Liv]

Don't act like you didn't feel draft.

[Hallie]

I took a bar. I was barred out.

[Liv]

H was barred out.

[Lauren]

Did you take a Xanax?

[Liv]

We were airdropping each other.

[Hallie]

No, I.

[Lauren]

During the fight, H tried to take a.

[Hallie]

No, no, no. I took three Xanaxes before my first flight.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Hallie]

So I. And it was, it was all dark out and like foggy outside. And I woke up after an hour and a half and I thought we were like taking off cuz I couldn't see it. Thought we were on the floor. I was like, why are we like still taking you on all.

[Lauren]

So.

[Liv]

That's insane.

[Hallie]

Wait, that's so funny.

[Lauren]

I'm thinking about like, yeah, wait.

[Hallie]

I was like, wait, how long's this Runway?

[Liv]

I'm like, what is she talking about? The way I was like, I'm kind of drunk. I chugged like three glasses of wine.

[Hallie]

I'm like upset.

[Lauren]

Flight back to New York from Chicago. It was supposed to be like two hours. But we get on the flight and the guy's like, it's just an hour and 24 minutes.

[Liv]

Yeah, me and Lauren are like, it's.

[Lauren]

A three hour flight.

[Liv]

Yeah, because it's about an hour.

[Lauren]

I'm googling it.

[Liv]

Cool.

[Lauren]

And it said like two and two and change.

[Liv]

It was giving Space Mountain.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Wait, Space Mountain is a Great one.

[Lauren]

I don't know what that is.

[Hallie]

All right, let's move on.

[Liv]

I think we should talk about when Holly introduced me to Lauren Fishbein and what I did to her face. It was insane.

[Lauren]

She. She basically ripped the mole off my face.

[Liv]

Okay, we're gonna tell this from two different points.

[Hallie]

Views.

[Lauren]

Wait. This is actually a real. Okay, Backstory.

[Hallie]

A.

[Lauren]

A week before I met you.

[Hallie]

We love a backstory.

[Lauren]

A week before I met you, I had just literally, like, intro, like, talked to Halle about it, how when girls are drunk and we're at a club, they always come up to me and they try and wipe the mascara off my mascara. Mascara is the musk. The mascara off.

[Liv]

Baby girl.

[Hallie]

Get that musk off me.

[Lauren]

They try and, like, smudge under my eye, and I always slap their hand.

[Hallie]

Away, and I'm like, no, zoom into her eye. No, wait. No zoom in Just so everyone sees it. Wait, go up to it so people see your mole.

[Liv]

Ready?

[Lauren]

Mole. Mole.

[Liv]

Mole.

[Lauren]

Okay. When girls are drunk, they always come up to me, and they're like, I never thought that. Every time they're like, honey, I think you look beautiful. They, like, think that they're, like, helping.

[Liv]

Me, and they're like, didn't call you honey.

[Lauren]

No, I know. I know. But I'm saying girls are always like, honey, I called you a baby under your eye. Like, let me get it.

[Hallie]

Sorry.

[Lauren]

I always get mad. This is a week before H goes. I've never seen that happen to you. Insert live.

[Liv]

The universe works in wild ways.

[Lauren]

Go ahead.

[Liv]

Holly had ever seen that in the universe. Said, let there be light. Let Holly see this happen.

[Hallie]

So how.

[Liv]

I can't see. So me and H had just become, like, really good friends. Hal's like, oh, my God. You have to meet Fish. So I go back to the back room. Zero Bond. I'm sitting with Fish. I could tell she was kind of pissed off already.

[Lauren]

It wasn't.

[Liv]

It. Yeah, it just pissed off. I. No, I know.

[Lauren]

I was pissed off. No, it's something else.

[Liv]

I know. Yeah, but it was just giving. Like, wasn't interested in meeting new friends, so I was, like, trying to be nice. Whatever. Whatever. It's pitch black in the back room of Zero Bond. Pitch black. There is a candle lit in the corner. Like, there's no light.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

So I go, oh, wait, I think you. And I'm, like, really obnoxious, so I, like, just fully go for it. I'm lunging for Lauren's face, and I literally wiped her mole. And I go, wait, you went to I go, you have some mascara.

[Lauren]

It was like an eyelash.

[Liv]

No, I said mascara. I go, you have some mascara under your eye. And she goes, it's a mole. And I go, what? And you and Halle both go, no, no. You kept saying, it's a mole. And I didn't understand what you were saying and how he looks at me. She goes, goes, it's a mole. And I was like, oh, my goodness gracious. I'm so sorry. I'm profusely apologizing. So awkward. I leave the table. I'm texting Halle. Does your friend hate me? Does your friend hate me? Holly's like, no, definitely not. She definitely doesn't care that you just humiliated. Yeah.

[Lauren]

It was just like. I was like, there it is.

[Liv]

He was giving Austin Powers.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

And that birthed a great friendship.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Birth worth.

[Lauren]

This one time, like, I had a girl literally, like, want to touch it?

[Liv]

It's insane.

[Hallie]

Like, pet it.

[Lauren]

She. It was. It was cracky. She, like, literally, we're, like, laying there, and she goes, can I just.

[Hallie]

Oh, my God.

[Liv]

Cracky is.

[Lauren]

She just tried to touch it.

[Liv]

And I was like, this is a public service announcement. Cracky. If you know who you are, you're bad news.

[Hallie]

Here, clip this. You crack.

[Liv]

You. So Valentine's Day is tomorrow, you guys.

[Hallie]

Okay, it's tomorrow.

[Lauren]

It's tomorrow.

[Liv]

Yeah, it's tomorrow. It's the 13th.

[Hallie]

It's a very unimportant, insignificant holiday to me because I also. Yeah, I hate it. Not because I hate love. I just think it's stupid anyways. And if it's gonna be, like, that significant, like, can I have a snow day?

[Lauren]

I actually agree.

[Hallie]

No.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like, I don't really care about it that much.

[Liv]

Of all the relationships I've ever been in, I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. There's always been a break or a breakup or something on Valentine's Day. It's always been a very depressing day for me.

[Hallie]

I don't really care that much. I'm so used to not being.

[Liv]

I think it's. In college, all my friends had, like, such serious boyfriends. They made it a huge thing. So it was, like, a thing. It was a thing. Like, we'd flower deliveries. Like, it was. It was crazy.

[Lauren]

My mom actually brought me flowers.

[Hallie]

My mom always sends me flowers.

[Lauren]

Big bowl of flowers.

[Hallie]

That's nice.

[Liv]

Oh, let's talk about Lauren possibly getting engaged soon. Yeah, it's coming. We don't know when, but it's coming. Like an Amtrak.

[Lauren]

You guys saw the Ring. And he didn't even tell me that he sent it to you.

[Liv]

Wait, the ring? I. I peer pressured him. I texted him. I was like, you need to send us the rendering now.

[Lauren]

It's insane.

[Liv]

It's insane. It's gorgeous.

[Lauren]

Sick.

[Liv]

Holly and I looked at the rendering, and we were like, this is so Lauren in.

[Hallie]

It's very you.

[Liv]

It's gorgeous. Can't relate, but love that for you.

[Lauren]

Wait, what did. Oh, wait, what did I say?

[Hallie]

I've never gone to horny over ring.

[Lauren]

Liv goes, after you get engaged. What do you want to do? I was like, I think I'd like to go for a nice dinner, you know, with, like, you and H. She goes, and Jordan. I go, no, no, no. Just you and Halle.

[Liv]

It's insane. I think I have an inkling that I'm gonna be in Israel when you get engaged, Page.

[Lauren]

I feel like that too. But it's okay. We can celebrate over Facebook, put you over on FaceTime.

[Liv]

We'll zoom.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Are you guys the people that had.

[Hallie]

Like, like, ring Pinterest board?

[Lauren]

Wedding Pinterest board? No. No.

[Hallie]

We don't really give a. I've never had a ring Pinterest board. I've never dream. Dreamt about a wedding.

[Lauren]

No.

[Hallie]

I might be a lesbian. What's going on?

[Lauren]

No, Halle, it's okay. I'm actually also terrified of, like, weddings, and I don't like any.

[Hallie]

I just get performance anxiety when it comes to, like, watching walking down the aisle.

[Lauren]

Like, I'll trip everyone looking at me. Like, what?

[Liv]

I just dream about being with a man who won't, like, cheat on me or, like, deceive me.

[Lauren]

That feels like.

[Hallie]

And also, is that your top priorities?

[Liv]

A loyal man? Yes. Let's not forget my ex hooked up with my friend.

[Hallie]

I'm like. And then I. I'm like, money, work, ethic, drive. Like, then maybe loyalty, and then maybe fertility.

[Liv]

That's a big one.

[Lauren]

Fertility.

[Liv]

We should start. We should start a mandatory test for every man and then present it to the government and, like, have it like. Like, every man needs to pass this test. It's physical.

[Lauren]

What happens if they don't pass? Do they get put in and they.

[Liv]

Get put into a certain, you know, tier?

[Lauren]

Oh, a tear.

[Liv]

And they have to get, you know, a certain, you know, bracelet or something. You just know that they're in a tear.

[Lauren]

Like, those, like, club.

[Liv]

You just know, like, that they're in this tier.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

This feels, like, very.

[Liv]

Like, this man cheats. Like, it says it over his head. It's just a Cheater. Like g. A fence 8 times, 2 times, however many times. Like, you need to we. I need to know these things. I don't want to find out six months in when I'm falling in love.

[Lauren]

A little bit uglier.

[Liv]

Yeah. It's giving the substance substance. I did have a dream last night that I was pregnant with twins. I actually had a dream that I birthed them.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Woke up this morning, you know, immediately took a test.

[Lauren]

You're okay.

[Liv]

I'm not pregnant.

[Hallie]

Well, I took a couple pregnancy tests before the final one came back positive.

[Lauren]

Oh, I do remember that. We were in Florida. And it came back negative.

[Hallie]

Yeah, it came back negative. And I was like, no, mother's instinct.

[Lauren]

You knew.

[Hallie]

I knew it was. And even though I was like, I'm.

[Lauren]

A mother, I remember you sent me and it was like, four tests in a row, and it was positive.

[Hallie]

I was like, oh, it was funny because I did it like a get ready with me. It's like, get a pregnancy test. And then it got, like, half a million views.

[Liv]

How many weeks later?

[Hallie]

It takes six weeks.

[Liv]

Let's check back.

[Hallie]

And I was, like, bleeding before. My tits are massive. But I also just got them done.

[Lauren]

They were huge.

[Hallie]

They were massive. I honestly missed my pregnant tits. We also. I found out.

[Liv]

Now I'm scared.

[Hallie]

Wait. Also, I found out over this Aspen weekend that the guy that I had been talking about that got me pregnant, got me knocked up, he knows because of this podcast that he got me.

[Lauren]

Pregnant after apparently, like, 45 people sent him the clip.

[Liv]

Yeah, apparently he's worried that he has a kin running around.

[Hallie]

Can we stop?

[Lauren]

She kept it.

[Hallie]

Can we stop sending men. I sleep with clips.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Guys, this is. This is a psa. I want you to clip this. Stop sending these men that I bless. I'm looking at every angle of every camera. Stop sending them the clip lips because they are threatening me with lawsuits, and that's the goddamn day.

[Liv]

If you want this podcast to survive and thrive, just stop.

[Hallie]

Yeah, yeah. What if I get sued? That's why I don't say anyone's names. I'm not that dumb.

[Liv]

I just accidentally burped into the microphone. Sorry.

[Lauren]

What do you want, like, everyone's takeaway from this episode to be.

[Hallie]

I want everyone's takeaway from this episode to be that Liv's not pregnant, that I'm fertile, and that Lauren as a.

[Lauren]

Mole, I don't wipe it. If you see me out, I.

[Hallie]

And I'm not pregnant. A manic.

[Liv]

And I am a hypochondriac.

[Hallie]

I think we should bring back the word slot. I don't think it's that mean. Like if I call someone a slut, I'm like, I say that with my full big chest. I'm like, you're a slut. I with you.

[Liv]

Like, stop, slut.

[Hallie]

I don't think slut's bad whore is insane. Like, wow.

[Liv]

Remember when I had a tick on the trip and I kept saying ho? I kept calling Ali a hoe so randomly. I was like, what up hoe? She was like, excuse me?

[Hallie]

She's like, what's good ho? Wake up. Going like this.

[Liv]

Going like this.

[Lauren]

And all those photos, we have to put that one in too.

[Liv]

That was insane.

[Hallie]

This is me the first time with that man and with that. I would like to thank you guys for tuning in once again and like subscribe. We're on YouTube right now if you want to watch us in full video and I feel like you do because we're. I feel like we're fun to look at.

[Liv]

No, we're like pretty theatrics are important.

[Hallie]

For this podcast, so. But yeah, love you guys and grazie grazien.

[Liv]

Around the Toodles the.

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