← Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Cross-eyed h*ndjobs & my experience in rehab
00:42:42
Strap on your favorite wigs ladies, Hallie has removed her hair extensions! This week, Hallie recaps Christmas Stroll on Nantucket, giving a h*ndjob in the back of a car, the Nantucket power outage that caused a scene at the local family restaurant, feeling weird around the holidays, why we ARE NOT communicating with men on Snapchat, visiting Church, and a new sexy credit card now in mama's possession. Hallie then opens up in a candid and honest conversation about her relationship with food over the years and her experience in rehab. TW: This episode does contain mentions of disordered eating. But of course, Hallie and Lauren had to wrap up this week's episode by answering your questions: hooking up with a coworker, ending a long situationship, being walked in on during sex, and more! Listen to see if your question was answered and follow @extradirty on socials, leave a review, a 5-star rating, and follow the show wherever you get your podcasts. Love you cookies!
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- [00:01]
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- [00:27]
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- [00:56]
Halle
I feel like eye contact is really important when you're like, hooking up with someone. But a lot of the times I'm hooking up with someone and I'm pretty up and when I'm fucked up, my eyes cross. So I'm probably like not even looking at them like as seductively as I'm like thinking. I'm probably like, okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Hold on, let me take a swig of this drink. I am heated right now. I just filmed the whole episode, a full episode. I was getting deep. I was talking about rehab. I put my whole into this for it to just be blurry the whole time. The whole thing was out of focus. Because I love you guys so much. Just going to ref do the whole thing because, yeah, I actually have nothing else to do. That's also why my blood pressure right now is through the roof. I feel inclined to like light up a cigarette. I'm not even kidding. That just pissed me off so much. I'm like so mad. I'm not even kidding. Okay, let's do a couple life updates. Where do I start? I got my extensions removed, which, it was a canon event. I appreciate. No one interfering. It needed to happen. Honestly, I think I have a couple bald spots in there. You know what, they don't build character. They subtract from it. Actually, I actually was getting removed yesterday and she looked at me and she was like, thank, thank you're finally doing this. Because I didn't want to say anything, but they were looking a little janky. They're looking all sideways. I. I felt like at this point, I'm so bald. I. Without hair, I feel, like, naked. I feel vulnerable. I feel like I should just put on a wig. Oh, should I just put on a wig? What if I just sat down here today, guys, and I go, hi. And just didn't acknowledge the wig? Okay. Anyways, I digress. Let's continue. So I got the extensions taken out. I think I'm just gonna let my hair breathe a little bit because I think it's time. I also am gonna put less bleach in it. I honestly think the bleach was seeping into my brain. I've been speaking absolute nonsense for the past few years, and maybe bleach has something to do with it. So maybe we're gonna go darker, which I'm a little scared about. I've always said that, like, darker hair is more conducive with relationships, and blonde hair is more conducive with my single era. And it doesn't look like we're getting that soon, so might as well, like, switch it up. Maybe once I go browner, I'll find a man. I don't know. I just need a little bit of thicker hair. Honestly, what Other life updates. I got my first credit card. Yay. And everyone's probably like, what? And honestly, I have been using my debit card since high school. I'm pretty sure my mom is still on my account, but I didn't feel the need to get a credit card. Everyone's like, well, you have to build credit. And I said, I don't have to build. I'm not Bob the Builder out here. What am I building, and what am I building it for? And who am I building it for? I don't understand. To explain it to me. And then, well, they're like, oh, you need to have a good credit score to buy a house. And I said, what is this? The SATs? I don't understand. I just don't get it. It never made sense to me. And I also didn't work a corporate job. I didn't think it made sense for me to have a credit card anyways. It's not like I was really paying for anything on my own. But now that I am making my own money, I felt that it was time to be a big girl and put my big girl pants on and finally get a credit card. So I'm excited to use it. I don't know what the limit is. Hopefully the limit does not exist, but we'll see how that goes. I don't know if it was last episode or a few episodes ago, me and Graydon had gone to Christmas Stroll, but I feel like I haven't really touched on Christmas Stroll yet. I know Lauren, who's in the room right now, hasn't heard my Christmas stroll stories, so she's gonna hear them live right now. If you don't know what Christmas Stroll is, it's on Nantucket the first weekend of December every year and basically they deck out the whole town. Everyone's wearing like festive onesies, running amok in the streets of New York, getting hammered. It's like a marathon, not a sprint. You're drinking all day, all night. And it's a lot of the restaurants last hurrah. So it's like a lot of the closing parties and whatnot. So everyone's going fucking ham. And it's mayhem. So me and Graydon felt that we needed to contribute to that chaos. So me and Graydon went over, we met our parents. Our parents. I'm acting like we're related. We met my parents and my brother was also down there with his buddies. And the first night we went out to dinner and everyone's pretty cooked and there was also some power outage so half the island wasn't working. Like there was no lights, no power. And half the island, like one side of Main street was completely black and the other side lights festive. The restaurants were working, etc, so it forced a lot of people to go to places they wouldn't typically go to. So we went to one of our favorite restaurants the first night, Sea Grill, which is like a hidden gem on Nantucket. Honestly, I want to gatekeep Sea Grill because it's like the best food, the best vibe, the best staff, etc. Anyways, we go there and this is not typically a bar where people go to like get fucked up. It's like a family restaurant. People go to eat and it's more of like a family spot, but because of the power outage, a lot of people were going to get fucked up there. It's also very close to the Chicken Box. So there was this one girl, she looked like she was either overserved or underfed. One of the other, she was wobbling and stabbling all over the place. This poor girl, I felt so bad for her, but honestly I respected the out of her. She stumbles into like the dining area and just eats absolute fucking shit. This poor girl face plants like and we thought she had Hit her head on something. And like, I thought she was knocked out cold. I was like, someone get an ambulance now. Okay. And then she got back up. The whole room's like, what the fuck? And then she kind of looks around and then just projectile vomits all over the dining room floor. All the families were like, oh, no, oh, oh. Clean up on aisle 12. I honestly felt really bad. So then they actually did call an ambulance. This poor girl. But honestly, she booted and rally. I talked to her outside of the restaurant when she was waiting for Uber. I mean, her ambulance, she was waiting for them. And she's like, I'm ready to go out. And I said, period, I'll meet you out there. But this, that's like kind of the chaos that happens during Christmas stroll weekend. The second night we were there, I was drinking all day with my family, so it doesn't really count. And then all night we went to the Chicken Box. If you don't know the Chicken Box, it's probably the most feral bar on Nantucket. Like you go to the Chicken Box to get blacked out and nothing else. Like you sell your soul to get blacked out there. So anyways, at this point in the night, I'm pretty cross eyed. Eyes are going west and east and north and south. I don't know, I was looking a fool. Yeah, I was looking a mess. And I was feeding for the dick. So we were waiting for Uber. After the night had commenced, the bar closed down. And Graydon recognizes one of his hot friends from the Cape, who I know, who I've met before, who I've said no to before. But sometimes when he catch me in the right light, when I'm feeding hard enough, it's the perfect light for them. But for me, I was like, the next day I was like, oh, I regret this fully. So I ended up giving this man like a full on hand job in front of everyone in the Uber. Let's call him motorcycle because I think he rides them. And honestly, he's hot. But like, he's younger than me and like he only communicates with me on Snapchat, which to me is like a massive red flag. If you're communicating with me on Snapchat, you're too young for me. Like, if a guy were to ask me right now for my Snapchat, I would just spit in their face. And not in like a sexual way. I would spit in their face and walk away because we should retire Snapchat and communicating over Snapchat. Probably at the age of 23, I also don't trust Snapchat for shit for my own personal reasons. I mean, I used to fire off nudes on there. Nudes videos. How are you doing? How's your mother? Like, hardcore. And then it got hacked, and. And that was really scary for me because who knows what's out there now? But whatever. So I was giving this guy a fucking rub and tug in the Uber, and Graydon just looking at me in utter disgust. But, like, he expects it, but he's just like, okay. So she's like, that drunk. Okay, okay, we get it. And then there were. Apparently there was another guy in the Uber. I mean, fuck, my. My poor Uber driver. I feel bad. My. That's probably why my rating so low is because I'm giving guys hand jobs in the back of the Uber. But I honestly didn't even know where he was. And this poor kid, he couldn't get hard. So we just kicked him out of the Uber and went home and went to bed. And the next day, he texted me over Snapchat and was apologetic about his penis not able to get hard. And I was like, honestly, I don't recall this incident, but I forgive you, and it's okay. We shall move on. Lauren. Lauren's dying in the corner right now.
- [10:03]
Lauren
I'm picturing Hallie, mid Uber ride, making eye contact with Graydon while just giving the guy a hand job. So literally looking Graydon straight in the eye.
- [10:14]
Halle
I was like, it's the next door on the left, and I'm not even, like, giving this guy a hand job. I'm, like, trying to get it hard, which is, like, that awkward phase between, like, actually giving a real hand job. Also, who gives hand jobs? I'm honestly shocked I didn't just, like, take off his pants and start sucking it, because that would be more my mo. I hate hand jobs, especially because I wear so many rings. So I'm, like, sucking face with this guy and also giving this man a hand job. And Graydon's to my left here. And I'm like, wait, are we going to the shot? And, like, I'm like, okay, wait, is it around the rotary? Yeah. Okay, let's go there. Okay. Should we order stubbies late, late night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graydon was like, what the are you doing? But whatever, don't judge me. But, like, my eye contact. Lauren's like, I can picture, like, the eye contact you were giving my eye contact. And I think about this often because I feel like eye contact is really important when you're, like, hooking up with someone. But. But a lot of the times I'm hooking up with someone and I'm pretty fucked up. And when I'm fucked up, my eyes cross. So I'm probably, like, not even looking at them, like, as seductively as I'm, like, thinking. I'm probably like, oh, it's probably, like, the least hot thing. They're probably, like, scared for their lives, honestly. That's probably why they never call back. That maybe that's why you couldn't get hard. Maybe that's why his dick could not get hard is because my eyes were crossed and he was like, what in the Lucifer has entered this woman's body? Anyways, on to Christmas.
- [11:52]
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- [12:21]
Halle
I don't know about you guys, but I feel like Christmas is an interesting, like, especially, like, the Christmas to New Year's pipeline. It's a weird. I feel like it's a weird space. Everyone's just, like, kind of checked out. I feel like it's the only time, like, I hit pause all year. I feel like my life is pretty chaotic. I'm never in the same spot for more than a tops, like a week at a time. I feel like I'm always bouncing around. And I kind of like that because it kind of distracts me from my, like, own thoughts, if that makes any sense. Like, I don't, like, like, even when I go to bed at night, I don't go to bed in silence. I always have reality TV always playing in the background. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'll hear, like, Bethenny Frankel going ham on someone. And, like, that brings me calmness. To be honest. Reality tv when I go to bed is, like, my vice. Christmas time. What did we do this year? So every year, instead of, like, my mom getting a bunch of gifts for us and, like, wrapping them up and then putting them underneath the tree and, like, being Santa Claus, it's a lot easier on her if we just do, like, a trip to New York, which we've done for the past seven years. They'll come to New York and we'll just do a three day shopping bender with like really nice dinners and it's really nice family time and it's like a good vibe and we all get what we want. We have a good Christmas haul and then that is right before Christmas Eve. Then we go back to Boston as a family and we spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in the city of Boston. And I go to church, which shocked a lot of people. I posted, I was at church and I posted with the Bible and everyone was like, how are you not burning? And I was like, what? I go to church sometimes. I'm a Protestant. I'm a CEO though. I say this all the time. I'm a Christmas Easter only CEO, so I only go to church for the more important holidays. But I love it, it's calming, it brings me relaxation. So I don't know, Christmas is a weird time. I feel like it brings up a lot of. It's weird because you're surrounded by your loved ones, but I also feel like there's a lot of loneliness in those days between Christmas and New Year's. And you also. I, I mean, me personally, I tend to reflect. I mean, it is the end of the year so I like to think back on like what I've accomplished in the past year where I was the year before, but I also focus on what I haven't accomplished. I mean, I have so much to be grateful for this year. I mean, signed with an amazing talent agency. I signed with Unwell. I, you know, I kindly found my groove and you know, being a content creator, an influencer, whatever you want to call it. And now I have this podcast and I'm really excited about all those things. But I also tend to look at like the things that I wish I had done better or the things I could do better and like those thoughts kind of give me stress and anxiety. I'm a very like OCD and shockingly very like a perfectionistic minded person, which probably stems from a bit of OCD and anxiety. So if I feel like in some aspects or realm of my life I haven't achieved or lived up to what I told myself I was going to live up to in the past year. For me, this year it's been just like health stuff. I feel like, I mean, I've talked a little bit about it on TikTok, not a lot because I feel like Tick Tock is like such short form content. And I also like, I'm So silly goose and very light hearted on tick tock. And I don't think that, you know, the subject of like eating and eating disorders, I would never want to talk about that subject in a joking way or bring any levity to something that's like such a serious subject matter. But I do think it's important to talk about it because, you know, it's part of me. And you know, I don't want this podcast to be all about me, like me going out and partying and whatnot. I mean, it's so fun to like highlight the silly parts and the amazing parts of my life, but I feel like it's equally as important to highlight, you know, your flaws. And I try to do that online already. I try to, you know, in a self deprecating way. I make jokes about myself all the time, which is kind of how I rationalize it. That's how I cope with it, I guess, and that's how I make sense of something that makes absolutely no sense to me. So I feel like for 2024, you know, the holidays for me especially just brought up a lot of feelings of I could have done that better like with my health wise. I feel like this year in particular, I thought that the more busy I was, it would, you know, make my eating stuff a bit better. But I feel like it also, and maybe in some ways it did. But I also feel like because I was so busy this year, it didn't allow me to make like my mental health and like the eating stuff a priority. And it's one of those things that you can't just like magically recover from. It's something you have to like face every day. You can't avoid it. Obviously you need food to survive. So it's like one of those mountains you have to climb every day. It just seemed like I found myself declining a bit this year. I feel like it's one of those things that just ebbs and flows. I have like really good months and then I have really bad months and then I have really good days and I have really bad days. It's definitely something you need to be proactive about. And I feel like I just wasn't proactive about it at all this year. I started the year with a full ass team because I have been to residential programs twice. This is something I've been dealing with since I was 12. And I started the year last year with a nutritionist, a psychiatrist, a therapist, and then I just dropped them all because I, to me I was like, I'm too Busy to take these meetings. They were weekly meetings. But like, honestly I just don't think I was making it a top priority. My priorities were kind of out of whack. I was really focused on like getting the work stuff figured out and like trying to, you know, build some sort of career. But I kind of let the mental health stuff and being proactive about the eating stuff kind of slip and I feel like that didn't serve me any good this past year. I want to give you guys just like a quick little timeline from when I started dealing with this. And it is, it's a bunch of. But you know, life sometimes it's not all fun daisies and cartwheels all the time. It's. But it's the, that makes you grateful for the non shitty, if that makes any sense. So I wouldn't change a thing, honestly. It shaped me. It's probably made me a more understanding person. It's probably made me a little bit of more empathetic person, more paid. You just never know what anyone's going through. I mean, I feel like that's the whole, the whole thing. You just never know what anyone's going through. For me, it started from when I was 12, which is so sad to me because, you know, when you're 12, you should not be giving a. About food or body image and all that. And I, I just got to an all girls Catholic school. I was the youngest in my class. Really hard not to compare yourself to older girls, girls that are maturing before you. And I was like a pretty chubby kid. And then I started losing weight. I kind of cut out eating and my eating habits kind of got bad. And it felt like when I had lost that weight was when I started becoming like friends with like the cool girls in my class. So then I started aligning like being thin to being like a valuable person, which is kind of what snowballed the whole issue. Because once you attribute value to weight or a number on the scale or an aesthetic, I think it can fuck with your head. Also just losing weight in general, I think people tend to see people lose weight and they think it's a positive thing. Which I feel like for most of the part, if you lose drastic amounts of weight, probably be a negative thing, but people compliment you. They're like, oh my God, he looks so good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's something about compliments that get so addicting and you want to keep the compliments coming. It's almost like a euphoria kind of thing. And you Think that. Oh, I didn't. I'm not getting the compliments anymore. I must have gained weight. And then it's just like a weird spiral that goes on in your brain. But it was weird. I felt like I started making friends when I got thin, and I was like, okay, like, slay. Like, I'm friends with people now. And it kind of ebbed and flowed throughout high school. I would gain weight, I would lose weight. And then senior year hit. And I don't think it's any coincidence that it was, like, the worst my senior year. My grades were bad, and it was a very stressful time of year. Everyone's, like, applying to colleges. And I, like, was struggling to get into a college, and I only got into the college I went to because I think my dad went there, and I was a full pair. I didn't feel like I even earned getting into that school. So it kind of made me feel like shit. And I felt like I had no control of, like, what was going on in my whole world. Like, I had no control about what schools I was getting into. In me, being an OCD anxious person, food was a way to, like, cope. And it was like a control mechanism. Like, okay, I can't control X, Y and Z, but I can control what's going in and out of my body, which felt like a safe bet for me. I also felt like I was an athlete. I wasn't a student, but I was, like, really good at being thin. I felt like that was my thing. That's something I knew how to be good at, and that was important to me. It became more and more and more important to me until, like, I completely lost sight of myself. You know, I became, like, a shell of a person. I don't even really remember, Senior, because I was so unwell. I mean, my mom would be coming in and out every night just checking to see if I had a pulse. Like, my kidneys started feeling everything was out of whack. And they were like, listen, like, if you don't go to this residential program, we have to admit you to the hospital with a beating do because you're going to die. Like, that's basically what it came down to. I didn't go because I wanted to, which I feel like a very important difference between the first time I went and the second time I went. Because the first time I went, I had to. I was 17. I had no choice. The second time I went, I was 19. And it was me just, like, surrendering and being like, you know what? I gotta Nip this in the butt, because I don't want to deal with this in hindsight. You know, hindsight's always 20 20. I wish I had gone sooner. You know, I wish I had dealt with it way sooner. Like when I. The first couple weeks, like, this was new to me. This is new to my mom. It's new to my family. No one really knew what was going on. It's an interesting thing because you don't really understand it unless you're in it. You can be, like, the most empathetic person and the best friend and the best mom in the world, but unless you're really in someone's mind, you don't really understand it. And it was hard to explain what was going on because I couldn't even make sense of it myself. So it was interesting. It's gotten better. It's gotten worse. I feel like I always take seven steps forward and five steps back. But it's definitely something in 2024 that I wish that I, you know, made a priority more. I guess one of my New Year's resolutions, although I do hate those, is just to be better about that. Because without health, I feel like you have nothing. You could have everything, but, like, without your health, you have nothing. And that's just life. People take health for granted all the time. I mean, I know I do. I feel like I don't take it seriously at all. I don't think about the repercussions of, like, you know, what I put my body through ever. So that's just something I wanna keep in mind more in 2025. But, yeah, that was heavy. Lauren was that good. Lauren's giving me the thumbs up. I just want to make sure that on this podcast, it's not just highlighting, like, oh, my God, I this guy and I suck this guy. And, oh, my God, he was me, and he was sucking me. I don't know, but, like, I want it to be, like, what I go through, whether that's, you know, fun, silly stuff or the hard, because it's what completes me as a whole person. And I would be robbing you guys if I didn't share it, in my opinion. But anyways, enough on the heavy stuff. I'm gonna have a drink break, and then we're gonna get into some questions. I mean, I think I'm gonna have Lauren join me for this one. Lauren, do you want to join me? Okay, perfect.
- [24:37]
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- [25:07]
Halle
Did you like my heavy stuff?
- [25:08]
Lauren
I did.
- [25:09]
Halle
You did? Yeah.
- [25:10]
Lauren
It makes me so happy to have people hear you talk about that stuff.
- [25:13]
Halle
Because I never do.
- [25:15]
Lauren
You never talk about it. Even being friends with me. It took you a pretty long time to open up about it, but, you know, it is.
- [25:22]
Halle
That's the tea.
- [25:23]
Lauren
Yeah. And I think you're doing better.
- [25:25]
Halle
I am.
- [25:26]
Lauren
Yeah. Yeah, I've seen it. I've literally watched it all.
- [25:29]
Halle
Yeah. No, we do. We ebb and flow, but, you know, it's not always going to be a pretty picture, you know, that's what it is.
- [25:36]
Lauren
I'm proud of you for this mindset. I love this community. Good year for you.
- [25:40]
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Thank you. Oh, my God.
- [25:41]
Halle
Cheers. Okay, so now to the dirty stuff.
- [25:46]
Lauren
Okay, let's.
- [25:48]
Halle
Okay, I'm gonna answer first and then you're gonna add.
- [25:50]
Lauren
Okay.
- [25:50]
Halle
Has a guy ever made you finish from oral or did you fake it? Well, that's a two part question, babe, because I. I feel like. Well, for me personally, I feel like oral is like the worst way to finish or. Yeah, it's just so unless they're like finger blasting you into the orbit, you know, like with their fingers and trying to make you squirt all over their face, which did happen once to me. Right? Yeah, Right. I told you.
- [26:13]
Lauren
Yeah. You, like, left. She left New York being like, I've never squirted and came back being like I squirted.
- [26:21]
Halle
Yeah. I just feel like that's not the easiest way to finish, but I feel like that's the first time I ever had an orgasm with a guy was from that. But it was like high school.
- [26:30]
Lauren
You didn't know.
- [26:31]
Halle
I feel like if you want to finish, go on top. That's the easiest way to finish and the quickest way to finish. And then kick them out and then you can go to bed and count the sheep. What do you think?
- [26:40]
Lauren
I mean, I agree. I just don't like it. Oh, wait.
- [26:43]
Halle
Lauren doesn't let anyone go down on her.
- [26:45]
Lauren
I mean, like, I have. I have. I just don't like it.
- [26:48]
Halle
Oh, my God. It's not that bad. I've literally gone down on a girl. It's not that bad.
- [26:53]
Lauren
No. But, like, I'm just. It's.
- [26:54]
Halle
It's.
- [26:54]
Lauren
I'm, like, so in my head, like, I don't know. I just don't like it. I've never.
- [27:01]
Halle
Are you, like, what do I do with my hands?
- [27:02]
Lauren
I'm just like, yeah. I don't know. I just. I. I like to be in control, and I feel like when it's happening, I'm not in control.
- [27:09]
Halle
Yeah.
- [27:10]
Lauren
So that I don't like it. Like, I really like to be.
- [27:12]
Halle
Rub their head.
- [27:13]
Lauren
Yeah. I mean, guys love it. I just, like. I don't know. And I. I just don't believe girls. I don't know.
- [27:19]
Halle
Like, you don't believe girls?
- [27:20]
Lauren
Like, I don't believe girls that are like, oh. Like, I finish from it. I'm like, how.
- [27:24]
Halle
I mean, you can.
- [27:25]
Lauren
Yes, you can.
- [27:26]
Halle
I think you can, but it's just, like, a lot more difficult. And I, like, feel like I would really need to, like, care about the person.
- [27:34]
Lauren
I know exactly what people are gonna say, dude. They're gonna be like, no. That just means that, like, no one's good is doing it to you. And I'm like, no, I just. I've never liked it. In my 27 years, I've never liked it.
- [27:42]
Halle
I think you gotta give it a real shot. Okay, let's go to the next question. Hooking up. He said, you like it when Daddy fills up all your holes. Should I be offended?
- [27:53]
Lauren
Probably not.
- [27:54]
Halle
I think this is a win.
- [27:56]
Lauren
I don't think this is a wind.
- [27:58]
Halle
Caitlyn.
- [27:59]
Lauren
I don't like that he called himself Daddy because I just don't like that.
- [28:02]
Halle
I would love that just because they are daddies.
- [28:04]
Lauren
I know.
- [28:05]
Halle
I feel like this exact Sunday has.
- [28:07]
Lauren
Been said to you.
- [28:08]
Halle
I think I've said this whole sentence in the reverse.
- [28:11]
Lauren
Wait, what?
- [28:12]
Halle
Like, I love it. Like, you know what I mean?
- [28:16]
Lauren
No, I don't, but please tell me.
- [28:19]
Halle
Like, I feel like I've definitely said, like, I'm trying to reverse the words. Like, daddy, I love when you fill up my holes.
- [28:26]
Lauren
Oh, okay. I thought you were filling them up.
- [28:28]
Halle
I was like, once I put my fingers in this guy's ass. You know what? The guy.
- [28:32]
Lauren
I know the guy.
- [28:33]
Halle
You know the guy.
- [28:34]
Lauren
It wasn't just your fingers.
- [28:35]
Halle
It's like my whole fist. It was my whole face. I was like, what's in there?
- [28:40]
Lauren
He was like, more.
- [28:41]
Halle
I felt like he was a turkey on Thanksgiving, you know? Tips for acquiring sugar daddies.
- [28:48]
Lauren
Oh.
- [28:49]
Halle
You know, it's like real Estate, babe. It's location, location, location. You gotta think. You gotta put yourselves in the shoes of where rich daddy might hang out.
- [28:58]
Lauren
Yeah. I also think it's attitude. When Hallie walks into a room, like, you exude this energy that you're just, like. You're a bad bit.
- [29:05]
Halle
I don't know how to describe it.
- [29:06]
Lauren
Yeah. And she's like, 7ft tall. Because the boots that you wear. So, like, you walk into a room and, like, everyone looks.
- [29:12]
Halle
If I can see the top of your head. No. Yeah, like, for men.
- [29:17]
Lauren
I don't know. It's location, but it's energy that you give off. You just have to, like.
- [29:23]
Halle
No, wait. We're talking about how to find a sugar daddy. Not like a man.
- [29:27]
Lauren
But I feel like the sugar daddies are the ones that are like. Like that. Like that. Like, bad energy the most.
- [29:32]
Halle
Well, all right. I'm not talking about sugar daddies. I've actually never had a sugar daddy. I almost did when my parents, like, threatened to cut me off and I signed up for seeking arrangements, but it never. I never went on a date. I just was spiraling at that time.
- [29:44]
Lauren
Wait, that's not true. Peter Pan.
- [29:46]
Halle
Yeah, well, those aren't sugar daddies. They're just daddies.
- [29:48]
Lauren
They're just. Right, right, right.
- [29:50]
Halle
But they're just daddies that happen to be rich.
- [29:52]
Lauren
That's true. So sugar daddy, then, is just someone that, like, everybody just pay for you.
- [29:56]
Halle
And you have to, like, suck them sideways.
- [29:57]
Lauren
Oh, no. Just. No.
- [30:01]
Halle
No, we don't. I don't think we do hedge fund daddies.
- [30:04]
Lauren
Daddies.
- [30:04]
Halle
We do this. Daddy's daddies. They might be a dad. Daddy.
- [30:07]
Lauren
The daddies that we find pay for pally. Me and my boyfriend.
- [30:12]
Halle
Wait, that's so true. I make sure the daddies I find take care of all my.
- [30:16]
Lauren
Yeah, literally. They, like, one time we were in Nantucket and two of the daddies were there, and they. We showed up with maybe 10 friends, and they sat. Hallie, the two daddies at their own table. And then got us and our 10 friends our own table with our own caviar service and our own champagne.
- [30:35]
Halle
No, that's just like on my brother's birthday.
- [30:38]
Lauren
Oh, my God.
- [30:39]
Halle
I invited this same daddy.
- [30:40]
Lauren
Same daddy.
- [30:41]
Halle
And he didn't want to sit near my brother and all of his friends, so he bought my brother a table at Gospel so they would be away from us. And we had our own table.
- [30:50]
Lauren
I miss him.
- [30:50]
Halle
I miss him. Where is he?
- [30:53]
Lauren
He was great.
- [30:54]
Halle
Did you ever get the talk when you were younger or did you have to learn yourself, like, the talk from your parents, like the birds and the bees?
- [31:00]
Lauren
I never got it.
- [31:01]
Halle
I never did either, but I wish I did. I was like, yeah, figuring out for myself. I end up having anal at 16. Like, for what? It hurt.
- [31:11]
Lauren
That was how you were figuring?
- [31:13]
Halle
Yeah, I was really leaning in. But also, my mom gave me that one book.
- [31:19]
Lauren
What book?
- [31:20]
Halle
You know, it's like the three girls with the towel.
- [31:22]
Lauren
Oh, my God. Like, two girls.
- [31:25]
Halle
It's called you. Wait, hold on. Puberty book.
- [31:29]
Lauren
Puberty book. I'm screaming. My parents were too foreign to, like, give me anything like that.
- [31:35]
Halle
Yeah, it's called the care and keeping of you. And it has these three on the front looking all kind.
- [31:43]
Lauren
They're like, wait, and what does it talk about?
- [31:46]
Halle
It just, like, talks about, like, your period. But I wish there was a chapter on, like, how to fist an. Because I had to learn that myself.
- [31:52]
Lauren
How old were you when you started watching porn?
- [31:54]
Halle
I think it was, like, a 50 Cent music video.
- [31:57]
Lauren
I know which one.
- [31:58]
Halle
That means, like, Candy Shop. But it made me, like, feel tingly and weird places. And I was like, google. I was like, what is this feeling WebMD. But why was it Candy Shop?
- [32:08]
Lauren
No, no, no, I know. I know the exact music video. But I also had that on loop.
- [32:11]
Halle
I think I was, like, nine years old.
- [32:13]
Lauren
No, we were in, like, middle school. Because I remember watching it, like, at my desk. Yeah. Like, it was sick. Also, I love 50 Cent.
- [32:21]
Halle
The me and you video by Cassie.
- [32:24]
Lauren
Oh, I don't know that one.
- [32:24]
Halle
It kind of gave me by panic. I was, like, questioning things.
- [32:28]
Lauren
Then watch that one.
- [32:29]
Halle
You should watch it. You like to watch Girl and Girl, though?
- [32:32]
Lauren
Yeah.
- [32:33]
Halle
Lauren likes to watch girl and girl porn.
- [32:34]
Lauren
I don't because everyone's having a good time. Like, sometimes the guys scare me, and.
- [32:39]
Halle
I'm like, I like to see a guy absolutely rocking a right. I. I know I don't make love on the weekends like you do.
- [32:47]
Lauren
Right?
- [32:47]
Halle
Fair.
- [32:48]
Lauren
Honestly fair.
- [32:49]
Halle
Okay. Hooking up with a co worker. Yes or no? You can go first.
- [32:53]
Lauren
No. Well, also, I work with all girls now, but.
- [32:59]
Halle
I mean, unless it's. I mean, you don't want to, like, lose your job. But if he's hot, I would say, yeah, spice that office up.
- [33:05]
Lauren
I know, like, a few.
- [33:07]
Halle
I would give head under a desk. It's like one of my fantasies to get bent over a desk. But I never was a corporate girly pop. And, like, I don't have co workers. I just have this podcasting mic. I can't Start fisting myself with it. I mean, I can. Oh, we could have gone.
- [33:22]
Lauren
I know a few, like, work relationships, like, from different offices that I've been in, like, at uta. Like, there's a bunch of couples and I'll never understand. I just. I don't know. I don't get it. Been in a situationship for nine years. Advice for how to end it in good terms.
- [33:41]
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- [34:10]
Halle
We've been in a situationship for nine years, I feel, and it hasn't developed into a relationship where you both see it as a monogam. A monogamous. Is that.
- [34:20]
Lauren
Yay. Right on track.
- [34:23]
Halle
A monogamous relationship. Then I would just have a simple conversation and be like, listen, the dick is good, but it's not good enough and we should part ways. I think communication. Just have a conversation. Just because it doesn't work out in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean someone in it is evil. Like, some people just aren't meant to be together. And, like, that's okay. Like, I have friendships with a lot of my situationships. Well, just one.
- [34:49]
Lauren
Profound, profound, profound.
- [34:51]
Halle
And, like, do I wish that wasn't the case? Probably. But, like, I'm okay with where we are, you know?
- [34:58]
Lauren
Yeah.
- [34:59]
Halle
Yeah.
- [34:59]
Lauren
Honestly, though, I feel like if you've been in a situationship for nine years, you're gonna get into a relationship and, like, hate him.
- [35:06]
Halle
Why?
- [35:06]
Lauren
Because I think right now it's just. It's like the situationship. Like, you're obsessed with, like, the dick and in the sex, but I don't think that you, like.
- [35:15]
Halle
I think the ambiguity of situationships is what makes them so exciting.
- [35:19]
Lauren
Thank you.
- [35:20]
Halle
You took the words right out of your mouth.
- [35:23]
Lauren
Yes, exactly what I was trying to say. Perfect.
- [35:26]
Halle
Have you ever been walked in on by a parent during sex? Yes, unfortunately. Oh, my poor mother.
- [35:32]
Lauren
Oh, my God. Your mom has seen everything.
- [35:33]
Halle
It was Aruba. Aruba.
- [35:36]
Lauren
I know this one.
- [35:36]
Halle
Aruba, circa 2013. Okay. I was just losing my virginity that year. Was with my high school boyfriend. Invited him to Aruba. In the living room of this hotel, there was a pullout couch because I have lots of siblings and they had to go into the other beds, so we're in the pullout couch. I had my period, so there was only one other option, obviously, was to have anal sex. But we had to turn the TV on. We couldn't have my parents and anyone else hear the wrestling and the fussling. And there was a lot of Russell and Fossil. So my mom heard the TV and was like. It was like 2am when she came in to turn off the TV and saw something that no mother quote that she says no mother should ever have to see. Like, I swear, my boyfriend at the time was so horrified.
- [36:24]
Lauren
Was he.
- [36:24]
Halle
He almost, like, booked a flight. He almost started crying. I felt so bad.
- [36:27]
Lauren
Oh, I feel like it's so much worse for the other person.
- [36:30]
Halle
I was like. She, like, sat us down and talked to us, and I was like, what'd she say? I was like, mom, listen, I'm all right. I'm like, you never gave me the birds and the bees talk. I don't who's to blame here. I kind of got.
- [36:40]
Lauren
Did she know which one you were doing?
- [36:42]
Halle
No. I feel like it was.
- [36:43]
Lauren
Yeah.
- [36:43]
Halle
Unclear. It was very dark.
- [36:45]
Lauren
That's good, right?
- [36:46]
Halle
But I knew what I was doing. I remember it so clear. Clear as day. But, yeah, I have had a parent, but, like, honestly, we're all humans. I feel like they got over it. It's not that big of a deal. Would I prefer that never to happen again? Yeah. And it never did happen again.
- [37:01]
Lauren
Yeah. But, yeah, I'm like, my parents were so funny because I. Our floor was like a. Or my house was like a double ranch. So, like, I lived on, like, basically a second floor because my brother was moved out and my parents lived on the bottom. So if I ever had a boyfriend or anyone over, like, they would, like, scream upstairs. Be like, lauren. Like, lauren, can we, like, before, like, you know what I mean? Like, they were always so scared.
- [37:23]
Halle
My parents were always so. Like, we were always allowed to have, like, sleepovers and, like, sleep in the same.
- [37:29]
Lauren
My parents were the same.
- [37:29]
Halle
My parents, like, didn't really give a. Yeah. But shouldn't have left the TV on.
- [37:34]
Lauren
Yeah, my parents were. I think it's because my parents are from, like, like, everyone that they know was, like, getting married at, like, 16 or 17.
- [37:41]
Halle
So she, like, wanted you to get pregnant.
- [37:43]
Lauren
She was, like, hoping that.
- [37:45]
Halle
She was like, get after it.
- [37:46]
Lauren
She was like, hopefully this is the one that's gonna. That's gonna wife her and get. Get her out of here.
- [37:50]
Halle
How to approach guys at the bar. Lauren, how do you do it?
- [37:55]
Lauren
Well, how did I. I feel like I was so bad at flirting. You remember that?
- [38:01]
Halle
I like, can't picture Lauren.
- [38:02]
Lauren
Oh, my God, I was so bad at flirting.
- [38:03]
Halle
I've never known you single.
- [38:05]
Lauren
I know. I like, can't even remember, like, how.
- [38:07]
Halle
I did, like a few months, but.
- [38:10]
Lauren
I've seen you flirt with. It's actually so funny. We were at a. We were at the. We were at palace, like the one time we went to palace and we're like leaving. Me, Jordan and Halle were walking out of the bar. And Halle spots the super hot guy at the bar who's like in mid conversation with a girl, like, deeply. Halle goes, watch this. She looks at him, she goes, oh, hot. Watch this, Lauren. Jordan, watch. And she just glares at him.
- [38:36]
Halle
And he gave him the one too.
- [38:38]
Lauren
You gave him whatever you.
- [38:39]
Halle
He looked at their eyes and then you look at their lips and then you look back up at their eyes.
- [38:43]
Lauren
Oh, yeah. It's a trick. Well, he immediately ended his conversation with the girl and immediately proceeded to walk towards Hal.
- [38:50]
Halle
Yeah.
- [38:50]
Lauren
So me and Jordan left and you stayed. I don't know how it ended, but you were like, watch this. And it.
- [38:55]
Halle
It worked.
- [38:55]
Lauren
It was insane. It was actually Jordan, like, talked about it for a week. He's like, I've never seen anyone do that.
- [39:01]
Halle
I saw this clip recently on Tick Tock and this might explain why no one approaches me at anywhere. Okay. Also matters now. So I feel like that also is a factor that goes into it. But if I feel like you have to, like, not cross your arms, like, you have to be inviting like this. Like open arms, like, come to me, daddy. But like, I stand like this a lot, which just means you're closed off. So I feel like, so how.
- [39:27]
Lauren
Here's you're going to see H at the bar arms.
- [39:31]
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- [39:33]
Halle
Like this, you know, I'm ready for war. Put your tits out.
- [39:39]
Lauren
Tits out.
- [39:39]
Halle
Hands out. Yeah, I don't really approach guys, do I? Sometimes times I just like.
- [39:45]
Lauren
I mean, we've lived here for how long? I just don't think that guys approach us. I'm thinking back.
- [39:49]
Halle
They're a dying species.
- [39:51]
Lauren
We were at Bayards. Remember that?
- [39:53]
Halle
Oh, yeah. And those guys were just looking at us. And then they like, DM me after.
- [39:56]
Lauren
We're sitting table to table. We're like, okay, these guys are cute. I was like, girls like, you know, get ready and put your hair back. Like, literally, like. And. And. And they knew what they. What they. They knew. Like, I think we, like, dropped a napkin or something. We were like. Like, come on. Like, inviting them. Nothing. And then you got a dm. I was like, what the.
- [40:18]
Halle
Yeah, that was weird. It wasn't really giving my demographic either.
- [40:22]
Lauren
No. Like, they were, like, older. They were like 28s, 29s. But it was just so weird. And I just think that's a huge problem with men now.
- [40:29]
Halle
No, it's an epidemic. And they need studied. Men don't approach girls anymore. It's weird. Like, but I feel like social media has ruined it because it's so easy to jam a. Yeah. And it, like, cuts out guys having kahunas and going up to a girl being like, hi. Like, let's go out to dinner. That doesn't happen anymore. Now people just like. And, like, never talk again. Which. I'm part of that problem. But, you know, they should fix it.
- [40:54]
Lauren
I'd like thinking back to your dad's story so good. How you met your mom.
- [40:58]
Halle
That's a great story.
- [40:59]
Lauren
Like, how his dad, like, just, like, approached her.
- [41:02]
Halle
But, like, social anxiety, fears. My dad, though my dad is. Doesn't give a Sammy. My brother is the same way. Like, he'll go up to anyone and just be like, hi. I respect that. Yeah, People don't really do that anymore.
- [41:15]
Lauren
No, they don't. It's like, it's hard for girls out there.
- [41:19]
Halle
It's hard.
- [41:20]
Lauren
I want to know how, like, girls are meeting guys, I guess, at bars. But I don't know. I don't really think that's our scene. We hate bars.
- [41:29]
Halle
What's the most disgusting thing you've ever done during sex?
- [41:32]
Lauren
Like, I wouldn't. I don't know if I would say disgust. I'm not really disgusting.
- [41:35]
Halle
I feel like I'm the most disgusting ever.
- [41:37]
Lauren
Yeah.
- [41:37]
Halle
Like, I turned into an actual. I feel like I turned into an actual porn star. Something comes over me. I turn into another person. I turn into Patricia. That's my alter ego.
- [41:45]
Lauren
Yeah.
- [41:45]
Halle
And I just, like, can suck the soul out of a man. I swear.
- [41:50]
Lauren
What is the most disgusting?
- [41:51]
Halle
Probably with you know who. And he used to get on all fours and I would, like, eat his ass. But, like, yeah, you know what?
- [41:58]
Lauren
He was that. But you also brought something out in him because he's not normally like that either, apparently. And, like, him and Hallie together.
- [42:06]
Halle
And what did he say about it, though?
- [42:08]
Lauren
He said it was, like, the best sex he's ever had.
- [42:11]
Halle
Yes. It was.
- [42:12]
Lauren
He did say that, but he. It was just. I don't know. I think you guys were both testing each other, seeing what the other person would say.
- [42:19]
Halle
He would always test my boundaries, and almost to a point where he was like, absolutely with me. He would, like, slap me and, like, spit in my face and, like, basically roundhouse me to the face, and I would, like, catapult my face back. I'd be like. I remember I did that once. He, like, racked me, and I was like. Like, literally, like a. Like this. And he looked at me, and he was like, you are so sick in the head. And I was like, I know that.
- [42:44]
Lauren
Actually, that brings me back to our Miami days.
- [42:46]
Halle
Yeah, I missed those Miami days.
- [42:48]
Lauren
Me and Halle decided, like, during COVID Mid Covid. We were like, we should. We just moved to Miami because it was. Everything was open, and we moved there. It was fun.
- [42:58]
Halle
Yeah.
- [42:59]
Lauren
I didn't have a job yet.
- [43:00]
Halle
You didn't have a job? I didn't have a job.
- [43:02]
Lauren
We were just.
- [43:03]
Halle
Jobless horse.
- [43:05]
Lauren
No. I would, like, go back and forth between.
- [43:08]
Halle
Bucknell, I know you were still visiting Jordan. Let's do one more question.
- [43:13]
Lauren
Okay.
- [43:13]
Halle
And then let's call it a night, and then we're gonna go out. What's one move in bed that makes a man go insane? I think sucking on a man's balls. Like they're mochi balls in your mouth and just sucking on those shits in your mouth and just cradling them in your warm, beautiful mouth. Mouth. It's always worked. That'll make a man fold. That's what I do. What do you do?
- [43:39]
Lauren
I'm gonna say throwing it back.
- [43:41]
Halle
Yeah. Lauren has the best recoil ever. You really do. I really do. She does.
- [43:46]
Lauren
I have a big back arch, so it goes crazy.
- [43:49]
Halle
I have a big back arch. She said so. I don't have a big back arch. Okay. Whatever she's calling it. So I have to make up for it by performing in other ways. But I would also distracts the man from the lack of arch in the back.
- [44:02]
Lauren
But I would also agree with Liv on this one. Cooking, cooking, cooking to start and then.
- [44:06]
Halle
Moving to the bedroom.
- [44:08]
Lauren
I know, I know.
- [44:08]
Halle
But that's like, Lauren, you can't cook macaroni and cheese in bed.
- [44:13]
Lauren
You never know.
- [44:14]
Halle
Okay. All right.
- [44:16]
Lauren
Assembling a sandwich in bed.
- [44:17]
Halle
Okay.
- [44:19]
Lauren
Are you hungry?
- [44:23]
Halle
That's, like, your dirty tops. You're, like, in his ear. Like, what do you want for dinner? Okay. Anyways, let's wrap this up. This was fun. I can't believe this is the second time I did this today.
- [44:34]
Lauren
I know.
- [44:34]
Halle
But honestly, this was a funnier one, so I'm glad I made the decision to redo this episode, but I did it because I love you guys. And also, Lauren's here now, so it made it more interesting and fun. Production came and production came and saved the day, but I love you all, and thank you for listening. Lauren, thank you so much. We love you guys.
- [44:57]
Lauren
Love you.
- [44:57]
Halle
See you next week.
- [44:58]
Lauren
Bye.