← Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Dating is not a hobby I subscribe to
00:47:04
This week on Extra Dirty, Hallie kicks things off by thanking everyone who’s shown her love and support through the online noise. But of course, she quickly shifts into the extra dirty fun you know and love: why she’s having the ultimate single-girl summer while her friends are cuffed, her honest take on where she refuses to meet men (sorry Apollo Bagels), and a brand-new segment reviewing red carpet fashion moments from Paris Hilton, Heidi Klum, Dakota Johnson, and more. To wrap up, Hallie dives into your wild Instagram confessions, from a threesome with the boss to a boyfriend cheating scandal to the girl whose man doesn’t know she wears colored contacts. Buckle up & enjoy, pumpkins!!! Follow @extradirty on socials and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review to keep the chaos coming. 💋
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I feel like my past episodes have been, like, so wholesome because I've been having my siblings on and, like, my wholesome ass college roommate on. So I was like, I want to make this episode, like, extremely, like, raunchy and fun and silly and, like, to the core of what Extra Dirty and what I wanted it to be. But you know me, like, extra dirty. It's. It's not just about the raunchiness stuff. It's not just about my life. It's about, like, you know, the. I'm going through. Clearly I'm going through some right now. And I thought I would just give a quick update on that just because I posted a tik tok last week, you know, re acknowledging some of the stuff I'm going through with my eating journey. And I acknowledge this on the show, you know, maybe a month or two ago, just putting it out there that this is something I'm going through. Like, I'm just a human. I'm a girl. Just trying to navigate through life and this is part of it. This has been part of my life for a long time now and I felt like I was doing a disservice having a platform and not acknowledging it. And I feel like it came to a point where I was like, okay, this needs to be discussed. Since then I would agree that maybe not much progress has been made, but it's one of those things where like you can't just snap your fingers overnight and like change those bad habits and be gain £20. And you know, I feel like I'm struggling between that and feeling like I owe my audience something. There's a lot of people that have been supportive, but I feel like, you know, the people that love me and support me sometimes are you know, like the silent people that don't like comment on my day to day tiktoks and they just kind of like love me and support me from afar. It's the people that speak up behind those burner accounts that troll the about me like and you know, DM me very hateful things, hoping like I die. I'm still getting a lot of that telling me like I'm a waste of life and that I should just give up while I'm ahead. I feel like online bullying and just absolutely ripping people to shreds has become so, so, so normalized. It's like, feels like form spring, you know. Do you remember form spring back in like 2012 where people would just like rip people to shreds like through like anonymous posting? It feels like that, but it's become a lot more evil. You know what I think it is? I think people like comment these troll ass comments knowing that they've never been anyone in their life at all and they think that if their comment gets likes that that's some sort of validation towards them when in reality they mean absolutely nothing to, to the world. They're truly like a blimp on this earth that means nothing. And I'm sad for them that they have to go out, go to sleep at night knowing that no one gives a fuck about them or knows who they are. You know, it's extremely disheartening. Before starting social media, I had no idea the kind of evil that there is in the world. And you know, I'm accepting of that and I'm learning how to navigate through that. I can't wrap my mind around, you know, me admitting that I'm going through some shit and then people taking that, using it as like my Achilles heel and like knowing like that is a Point where they can, like, knock me down even further because I feel like misery loves company and they just want to see me just fail. I feel like people are just trying to push me off the Internet right now. I just want to acknowledge that TikTok I posted, I almost have, like 3,000 comments on that. Just people being super kind, super supportive, and super loving that I read every single one of them. And it's was very uplifting and made me feel, you know, a lot better about the situation. I've gotten so many dms, dms from content creators I look up to, and that made me feel a lot better because I was at a point where I was like, like, do I stop posting? Like, I don't want to be a person that's, like, triggering anyone else on the Internet, by the way I look. And I never thought that would have to be, you know, a conversation I would have had to have. I think a lot of people are just assuming that I have, like, no one in my corner. But, like, trust me, behind the scenes, I have a lot of support. You know, I have my friends in New York. I have, you know, Matt and Alex are always checking up on me and making sure I'm doing well and checking in on my mental health, you know, great. And I have all these people in my circle that do care and that, you know, are keeping an eye on me. And I will say that, like, none of this is linear. This struggle is something that you can't really put into words because, you know, there is no cure. There is no, you know, plan. That's just super black and white on how to navigate this, because unless you deal with this kind of brain and this ed brain and those voices in your head that are telling you that you look gross and like, the body dysmorphia and, you know, just changing habits from extremely bad habits to good habits. I feel like it's a lot of work. You have to be very proactive. It's not like a drug or alcohol or something like that. You. That you can just cut out. You know, food is a mountain that you have to climb every day. You can't ignore it. You have to learn how to deal with it. And it takes a very strong support system, a lot of willpower, and a lot of, you know, just living your day proactively and making your health and your mental health a priority to get through it, to get through it on the other side. So I just wanted to acknowledge that all the love that people have been sending me and, like, I appreciate it so much. It means the world to me. And none of it went unnoticed. So I just wanted to begin the episode with saying that. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, what else do I want to talk about? That was a lot. That was heavy. Let's talk about fall. Let's talk about fall in my bleak summer. Okay. I don't do well with transitions, clearly. I don't like when a season changes. It makes me feel extremely nostalgic in, like, kind of emo. I don't know, like, when. Like, the end. Like, it's Columbus Day weekend. What is it? Columbus Day weekend? I was just saying Columbus, Ohio. That's why I said that it is Labor Day weekend. This is pretty much the last, you know, big summer weekend. I can already feel that fall breeze rolling in. But I will say fall is, like, my favorite time of year in New York. It's, like, probably my favorite out of all the seasons here. Like, no one wants to be here in the summer. Spring is okay in winter. Makes me want to off myself, no offense. Like, I'm thinking about even, like, going to Miami for a few months just to get out of, like, the darkness that is winter. When it's, like, turning, like, Super Dark at 4pm and like, no one's outside and it's cold and it's just, like, yucky outside. But, like, what's coming up for me is Fashion Week, which is. I'm really excited about. I'm going to a lot of those events, hopefully. I just came out with a couple big campaigns. I had a garage collab, which was really big and amazing. I just did a campaign with brunch and Prince, which was really amazing. So I'm doing a lot of fun stuff right now. And I feel like it's a good kickstart going into the fall. I'm also excited for, like, all these men to come back from the Hamptons, come back from Nantucket, to come back from their Euro summers. Like, I'm missing seeing them at Shea Margaux and at Zero Bond, because I feel like everyone just flocks outside of the city in the summer. And it makes being here, being, like, uninterested, I don't. I haven't even seen, like, my best girlfriends in a long time. They're all out with their boyfriends, which is another thing I wanna talk about. I have been having a really single summer. Not in the way you would think where I'm like sleeping around. I am like in a three month drought, I'm pretty sure. But like a drought that I feel like I needed to take. Or one, because it's good to take droughts. I think it's important, especially for me. I don't want to like up my body count any more than it needs to be. And two, like obviously with the stuff I just talked about and like my mental health and like me just not feeling like good and sexy about my body right now, I just don't think having sex with someone right now is like on my like top list of to dos. But I'm just hoping in the fall, like I'm really going to like lean in to like making sure I'm making steps to feeling better about myself and like feeling sexier and you know, getting a nutritionist in place and all that stuff. And I feel like if I do those things then the happiness will come, the confidence will come and then I feel like the men will come. But I am in no position right now. I don't have the mental capacity to put myself in a vulnerable situation with a man. I just feel like that would, you know, it would just be disastrous right now. But I am kind of feeling like the single friend right now. And I don't know if this is relatable, like you guys let me know in the comments. But like all my friends are happy in happy ass relationships. Like my friend Liv, she's in Turkey right now. Her boyfriend plays basketball overseas professionally. She's been in honeymoon land all summer, which I'm so happy for her. I'm not the type of friend that's like, fuck, like, fuck her. Like, like I'm so happy for her. Like they are thriving. My best friend Lauren, she is obviously engaged. She's planning her wedding, she's doing wedding dress shopping. And I've talked about this before, like I'm not the type of person to like be like, oh fuck, like all my friends are getting into relationships or like all my friends are getting engaged. All my friends are moving in with their significant others. Should I be doing that Because I don't want to like just settle Because I feel like, you know, the people around me are settling. But you know, there does come nights where I'm like, you know, I wish I had like a texting buddy or like someone on my roster, like someone I could invite over or someone I could just like even like lightly flirt with. I'm like too much in my own world right now. To be doing that also, I'm, like, traveling left and right. I am booked and busy, which I'm so grateful and appreciative. But, like, it becomes a lot where I'm like, when am I going to make dating a priority? But, like, do I even want to make dating a priority? Like, I have this guy text me right now. Very tall, very handsome. He literally just texted me. I'm not even kidding. What time is it? It's 1:35. And he texted me at 12:15. Miss, are you free Tuesday night? And then he just goes, 8pm and I just didn't reply because, like, I don't want to be free Tuesday night at 8pm Like, I don't really want to go on a date. That's not what I do. I don't like to date. It's not a hobby I subscribe to. Dating takes a lot of work. Why can't things just be, like, a little casual sometimes? What happened to being casual? Like, I don't know what happened to being casual. Everyone just thinks that, like, you hook up with someone a few times that you want to date. Has anyone listened to my show? Like, that's not really how I move at all. Like, I'm okay with casual hookups. I'm very much okay with them. I'm too busy to, like, lean into the dating thing unless it's, like, the right person that crosses, like, my path, that I'm like, okay, I want to make a lot of time for this person and make this person a top priority. Other than that, like, I'm okay with casual sex, and I feel like that is okay. I'm gonna hold space for two truths. I just said I didn't like transitions, but the only transition I am looking forward to when it comes to summer going into fall is the men coming back into the city. Because I just need some attention. I want guys to flirt with me, and I want to see them out. Where are they hiding? Literally, where are they hiding? I swear they're hiding at sporting events, which I've talked about. They're at the members clubs. But, like, I don't go to the gym that much. Let's be for real. Are they at the gym? And by the way, when I go to the gym, Equinox, most of them, I'm not gonna lie, they look gay. I have enough gays in my life. I love them to death. But, like, I'm not finding my husband at Equinox. I don't think people say, go to the park, go to the coffee shops, but Like, I don't. I Uber eats too much. I'm always Uber eats. I'll Uber eats a Starbucks. I need to stop that. My dad is getting really mad at me for doing that. But, like, I am not going to the coffee shops. I just saw a line coming to the studio today of a line of about 120 somethings wrapped around the block just to get into Apollo Bagels that I do not understand. And maybe it's because I have like an eating disorder and I'm not gonna wait in the line for a bagel shop. But, like, I don't think I would ever wait in line for anything like that. But, you know, maybe that's where you're finding them in. Maybe I'll just wait in line for Apollo Bagels next week and see what happens, see what sticks. But, like, I'm not going to the fucking park. I don't have a dog. What am I gonna do in the park? Also, I'm scared if I go to the park that one of those street interviewers will come attack me and, and say what makes you most confident? And I'll literally run away. That's like my biggest fear of going outside is those fucking street interviewers asking me what makes me confident today. Because nothing makes me. You know what makes me confident? Like a dirty martini, an extra dirty martini that makes me feel a little bit more confident. A nice outfit that makes me feel a little bit more confident. My best friends that are nowhere to be found right now because they're all in love right now. Those people make me confident, but I can't find them. I'm out here on my own. I'm not gonna go to the park alone. That'll make me look a little suspect. I don't think I can be going to the park alone. What else? So, yeah, I've been in a drought, but it's not by its choices, by default. So I have these guys over and I think they're one either trying to be super respectful. But by the way, if, like, you're in my bedroom, like, this is not the time and place to choose to respect me. This is like the one place you can be a little disrespectful towards me and I welcome that with my full fake chest. Or two, I think that they know what I do online. They know I have a podcast. They know how I speak on TikTok. They know I'm extremely unfiltered. And I think a little part of that is, like, they're a little scared for me to, like, air them out online which I don't typically do unless one I don't give a about you or two you cross me. So I guess the majority of people I do air out now that I think about it but there's a couple few that are like sweetest boys ever. Like I would never like there's guys that I've never even hinted to online here just out of respect of them being good boys, good people and I just like don't want I'm not like an evil cunt unless you make me into one. But I was thinking about this the other day because I recently as we talked about gotten my lips dissolved and I don't think I've given head or suck dick since I had my fresh new lips and I'm concerned that that's going to look different. Like I like of known for giving the best head ask and I want anyone that I've sucked off to confirm this because I do give extremely firehead and like that I don't care if you guys come at me for being fatherless, blah blah blah. You're such a fucking whore. That is a H I will die on or I will suck on. I will suck on that hill. I just like it's one of my talents. Some people are good at ice skating, some people are good at geometry. I give firehead and I always have. I don't know if it's because I have oral fixation. I used to bite my nails, I do rip the vape, I smoke cigarettes. But there's something about sucking dick that calms me down and just brings my anxiety from a 10 to a 2 and so I appreciate it. Life gets packed fast. 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That's Q U I N C E.com/extra dirty to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com extra dirty so now let's transition into a new segment. I touched briefly on Fashion Week. New York Fashion Week, it's a big time in New York. It's a time for, like, a lot of people coming into town. It's basically like the kickstart of the fall season. It's also the first fashion week before, you know, London, Milan, Paris, et cetera. So it's a big one. So I thought it'd be fun to, like, go through some of the red carpet style photos that are updated daily on People magazine. And I'll just, like, see what I think about them because I'm like, really trying to lean into the fashion thing. I would like to think that I have good fashion. I know I dress, like, in my cozies on here a lot, but I'm just trying to be, like, comfortable and cozy with you guys because we're just, like, yapping like girlfriends. So like, that's kind of the point of the show. So let's start. Helen Mirren. For all the audio listeners, I'm going to do my best to describe what these people are wearing, but for the visual learners, I'm going to clip it in Learners listeners. I mean, Helen Mirren, she is wearing A floral dress, it seems. You know, I, you know me. I don't know if people follow me on Instagram, which you all should, by the way, because those were. You're going to find my outfits along TikTok. I'm not really big into the floral patterns. To me, I mean, I think could be elevated in a way. And I'm not, like, coming at her, but it's just not for me. I don't think I would go outside wearing any flowers. It looks beautiful on her. I love her haircut, but the floral, it's, it's just too, like, it kind of reminds me of a. A curtain. Is that bad to say? Or like, you know, a carpet. But, you know, to each their own. I think she's rocking it. She's gorgeous. And she's. She's outside. The next one is Paris Hilton, who I think is a style icon in a lot of ways. Not necessarily for, like, what exactly she wears, but how she owns it. And I feel like we've seen her through the years, through the 2000s, like, she has had some iconic, whether that's elevated looks or like, you know, the juicy couture dress down looks. In this picture, she's wearing kind of like a black floral get up for her top and then like a leather skirt. You know, I would rock this. I like how the top is sheer again. I don't know how I feel about the collar, neck. I love the sunglasses, like, and the gloves are everything to me. I want to start getting into gloves in the fall. I think gloves are super chic, super cunt, especially the ones that, like, go up to your elbow. I think they're so hot. And then she's just wearing a basic black pump. I think she looks great, but I always think she's, like, serving absolute con. I'm obsessed with her. Okay, next, Phaedra Parks. I love favorite parks. If you guys know anything about me, I'm a big Bravo fan. Favorite was on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and I thought she was one of the most funny, witty, but also very, very smart. That girl did everything in the books. Like, she was a very smart woman, in my opinion, but so hilarious. So she's wearing the sheer corset top over leopard print bra teamed with a leopard print pant. But what are those pants called that? Everyone's obsessed with them right now? Capri. Capri. And I've talked about capris a little bit. I haven't gone to the Capri side yet. I see a trend happen, and I try to avoid the Trend as far as possible until I just can't. Until I usually see, like, Lauren Fish wear it. And then I'm like, I. I must acquire it, because to me, like, Lauren Fish has, like, the best style ever. So until she, like, tells me, like, this is in. You must lean into this. Then I'll, like, be okay. I'll consider it. That is the her. And Labubus is the only thing. I'm like, Lauren, I. We're not seeing eye to eye on this, but fashion wise, Lauren, to me, is, like, the best fashion. I like. I like how it fits her. I love the corset. Typically, for me, I'm not a leopard print girly. I do not like leopard print, but if it works on her, I think she looks beautiful. I love her hair. She looks gorgeous. The makeup looks good, and she looks happy and smiling and giddy on this red carpet, which is all that matters. Ooh, Dakota Johnson. See, this is a dress I would wear. This is a strapless bodycon gown. I would say silver strapless gown by Gucci accessorized with silver jewelry. And she wore hair. Her hair down, long and straight. I'm a big fan of Dakota. I think she could wear a trash bag, and I think she could be chic and cunt in it. I love her personality. I also. I feel like she's the only person that can really, really pull off a bang. I think it makes her so, like, super sophisticated and gorgeous, but I think she looks great. No notes. I'd wear. I would wear this. I also love Gucci. Anything Gucci is cute. Zoe Kravitz, you know, she always looks timeless and beautiful. So she's wearing a plunging black gown with a high slit and a massive white bow on the waist. I would wear this. I think she looks really chic. And I like the side boob. I'm a big fan of side boob. And I love the plunging neckline. And I always love how she does her makeup. It's super dewy and effortless and not too heavy, not too caked on. I also like the high slit. I think it shows off her gorgeous legs. I mean, there's not much, like, bad things you can say about Zoe Kravitz. I feel like she pretty much nails it every time. She also, I feel like, is very individually herself when it comes to her style choices, which I feel like is important for everyone when I decide what to wear. I think when you decide what you're wearing, it should be what you feel most confident in. So if you know, and I feel like she really leans into that. So I appreciate that. So no notes. I think she looks beautiful. Grace Van Patten, also a big fan of her. I do think so. She's just wearing basically a black simple mini dress. It is Prada has fringe accents. I think you know for her she could have done a lot more. I think she's stunning. She's gorgeous. I don't know how much the dress is doing for her. It's not as form fitting as like I would prefer to wear it but you know she's wearing her hair down. Her makeup is super simple and pretty. I think she looks really pretty but I don't think this is something I typically would wear. I think she for a red carpet. I think she could have done more but big fan of her work. What would you do with a little extra time back in your day? How do tools like this help you focus on what actually matters? Shopify is like having a full time assistant in your pocket. 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Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com extra dirty to find and instantly book a top rated Doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com extra dirty zocdoc.com extra dirty Ooh, this is fun. Adria Arjana. I hope I didn't botch that. Adria Arjana. She's at the Splitsville premiere in a dramatic black Loewe dress with a structured silhouette and a plunging back. And then she's accessorized with Tiffany and co jewelry. I think this is really different and cute. The plunging bat, it's structured in the front, in the plunging back is really cool. I don't know if I would wear this. I, I don't know how comfortable this looks to be honest. To me, it feels like you wouldn't be able to do a lot with your arms unless it's just pictured. Weird here. I mean I, I think she looks great. I like the high, you know, I love a high slick back bun. I think she looks gorgeous, but I mean, wow. I'm zooming in now and she's extremely beautiful. But the structured part in the front, it looks a bit uncomfortable to me. But sometimes that's part of pulling off a sick outfit. They're not always going to be the most comfortable, but for me it's like whatever I'm most comfortable in is what I'm wearing. Like I'd rather comfort over, you know, a crazy ass fit. Sometimes you learn that the hard way though. I guess it depends. Okay, next, another Zoe Kravitz. Hi Zoe. Zoe Kravitz appeared at the Caught Stealing photo call in London wearing a pale yellow dress with delicate embroidery and ruffled short sleeves. She added sunglasses and a black ballet flat. All right, let's start with the back ballet flat. That's something I don't do. You're never going to catch me in a ballet flat. It's not my thing. I typically like a heel. I like to be tall. I like to be looking down at all my ops and also like I need to make sure a guy is taller than me. So if you're petite, you can handle a flat, but like, I need to like wear heels to make sure I know a guy is like above 6 something. Maybe I'm shallow for that, but that's just personal preference in my opinion. You know, like I just said, I like Zoe's style. For me, this yellow dress is not something I would wear. I think it's a bit too feminine for my liking. I feel like I tend to dress on the edgier side. But she looks beautiful in it. I don't know what time of day it is. I feel like this is definitely like a daytime dress. It she looks casual. Like, she looks like she just like kind of stepped out and she's ready to go get a coffee. I don't know if she's on a carpet or not, but I mean, she looks good. I mean, you can't really go wrong with her bone structure. Like her body and her bone structure. She is objectively a beautiful woman. So I think she could wear whatever the she wants and she's gonna be like, oh, she looks great. Anyways, next. Oh, Lainey Wilson appeared at Sirius XM small stage series wearing jeans and a black leather flared chap in a black sleeveless lace up top. Of course, the country star accessorized with their signature cowgirl hat. See, the western look is not something I really subscribe to unless I'm at Stagecoach. I don't really know how I feel about a chap unless I'm in the bedroom. You know, maybe I'll throw in a chap if a guy's into that. But I don't think I'll be wearing chaps to a red carpet or to any, you know, big pictured event. I wouldn't say I love this outfit. Her face card is beautiful. Clearly doesn't decline. But I'm just like not a Western. I don't dress Western ish like that. I'm like a girl from Boston that lives in New York City. Like, you wouldn't probably catch me like this unless I was going to like a theme party or a Stagecoach, like I said. But like, again, like, if she feels confident hitting the carpet like that, like power to her. I mean, she looks good. It's just not something I typically would wear. Okay, next. Heidi Klum, my queen. I actually am a big fan of Heidi Klum. Like in Silence. I think Heidi Klum is super iconic and just a timeless beauty. She could wear whatever the hell she wants. She's wearing this beautiful purple. It says she was spotted at a glam in a glamorous purple gown on the set of Devil wears Prada 2 in New York City. The supermodel also wore black loafers and a pair of aviator sunglasses. I mean, I just think this color purple is beautiful. I think she looks beautiful. Her hair looks beautiful. I don't know how old she is, but she is crushing it to me. She looks like she's gonna be like. To me, she's like a top five supermodel. I don't know if that's a hot take, but I think she's always dressed the nines. Looks beautiful and gorgeous. And I have no notes here. And she's just like stepping out on the set of Devil Wears Prada too. Like, that's like the biggest flex ever. Like, wondering if she's in it. Okay, let's do this one. Jenna Ortega. I love Jenna Ortega. She is wearing here. She stepped out for a Wednesday Season 2 fan event in a black and orange striped Fendi gown in a fur coat. The actress added matching striped gloves and wore a hair in long waves. I think this look is iconic and unexpected that I would actually like this. But just the contrast with the leather skirt. I don't even know if I could pull this off. But I look at this look and I'm like, holy fuck, this girl is iconic for wearing this, the fur coat. I love the details on the fur coat. Her makeup is perfect. Her hair is long, bust down and wavy and looks like the waves of the ocean. And the gloves that match her gown that are, that is also striped I think is perfect as well. And then she's wearing some sort of like suede boot. It looks like, I think 10 out of 10, no notes. See, this is giving. This is what I would like to give in New York City in the winter. And I think it fits perfectly with like the event, like Wednesday Addams. I feel like it's kind of like dark, gloomy, but like also elevated and super, super chic. I think she's serving absolute base and absolute cunt here and I'm obsessed. Issa Rae appeared at a pop up event in LA wearing a yellow crop top in light wash jeans with silver platforms. You know, like, I don't know, I don't know what event this is. I don't know if I would wear this to a pictured event. It seems very simple. Like I'd wear this to brunch. I think she looks beautiful, but I don't like, like holes in denim jeans anymore. So for me personally, I don't think I would wear this. But like, she looks comfy and cozy and I respect that. Okay, let's do one more. Let's go over. Gwendolyn Christie attended a Wednesday Season 2 fan event in Sydney in a blue satin gown by Miu Miu. The dress featured short sleeves and 3D accents at the hips. I would not wear this. That's just a personal preference for me. I love the color. She looks great, but I don't like the hip accents. I don't think I would like that. I mean, I would really have to try this one on. But again, any dress I wear, I want my tits to be popping out and maybe my frontal lobe hasn't developed yet where, like, maybe I should be, like, a little bit more elevated, a little bit more like, you know, covering my chest. But, like, I'm at the point right now. I'm 27 years old. I just bought a fake chest. I want to show my fake chest, and I feel like that's okay to have that preference. She looks stunning and gorgeous. I love Miu Miu. I love satin, and I do like this color blue. But I don't really love the length of the dress and I don't like the structured aspects around the hips. But she looks gorgeous. I just want to add that I don't want to be like Joan Rivers up in this bitch where I'm ripping people to shreds on here. That's not what I'm about. I think everyone I reviewed today is beautiful and gorgeous. I would just was saying what I would personally like, wear and what I personally wouldn't wear. And that was kind of the point of the segment. Just to make that clear. I don't want to, like, rip anyone to shreds because, like, I'm sure people, like, would rip some of the things I wear to shreds. I mean, I'm wearing, like, a very simple, cozy ass out there right now. It's not for everyone. Some people want to be dressed to the nines all at all times, which is okay.
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Excludes Massachusetts. Okay, guys, for my last segment, I, like I always do. I'm gonna go through some bad, crazy stories that you guys have submitted through my extra dirty account. Feel free. Even if I don't post a story saying submit these stories, I still want you guys, as avid listeners, to be sending me all the bad shit, crazy shit you do. I love reading them. Also, I will usually bring it up on the show because then it reminds me of the bad things I do. And then we can all just be having a funny conversation about how bad shit we are as people. Okay, so let's begin. The guys I met offered to pay me a thousand dollars to shit on his chest. I'm wondering if you did it. Also, there was this rumor on Reddit a couple years ago about me that a guy that I worked with made up and he didn't use a burner account name and he went to college with my sister. I have to find this Reddit thread. But basically it was a whole thing because he used his own name and like, that's like Reddit 101. Use a fucking burner account, you weird freak. We've made amends since then. But he basically went online, said I lived alone in New York City and that I'm basically an escort and that I allow random rich men to take shits on my chest. Not me taking shits on their chest. They take shits on my chest for money. And I was like, wait, how did he. How did this even come about? And not only was it on like a Reddit thread, it was on like a bar stool, like for the boys Reddit thread. And they were like, oh my God, is this about Halle Bachelor's? Yeah, dude. Like, what a tough look for, like, I feel bad for her brothers. Like, they have to live with that shit. Just clearing the air. I never let anyone on my chest and I would never on anyone else's chest. Like maybe for like a lot of money though. Like a millions. I don't know. Anyways, next. I've been hooking up with a co worker for the past few months. I'm 27 and he's 56. Period is your boss. I always say this, like, if I had a really hot boss and I love older men, there's something wrong with me. Like, I do like the Older daddies, There's something about them that just like, make me feel like they could just take care of me and like, hold me and just like, buy me things and I just like. I don't know. There's something wrong with me mentally. We just went over that in the beginning of the show. But I don't see anything wrong with an age gap. I think after the age of 25, an age gap really doesn't matter. I have hooked up with guys in their 50s. In my early 20s, I didn't really feel like, see anything wrong with that. I thought it was kind of hot, and they definitely thought it was kind of hot. And, you know, the only difference is, like, they're just like, they don't give a. They're like, a little bit more experienced and like, that part of it is a little intimidating, but you get used to it. So I don't know. I think that's fine. Just don't get fired and like, don't tell hr. I don't know if you have a human resources thing going on, but, like, don't get fired over some dick. That's like, not what we're about in 2025. Especially over a man. Like, we're not getting fired over dick. Okay. Had a threesome with my manager and her boyfriend. Spicy or up? I think that's hot. But is it gonna be awkward at work? Like, how did that even come to about, like. Like what you guys having, like, post work drinks and then just things got spicy. See, like, I think that's hot. I've had a threesome in a minute, though. Maybe I'll introduce those back in the fall. Maybe we. The fall of threesomes. Because I think threesomes are a lot of fun and silly and flirty, but they're kind of like. It's like juggling a lot of balls, no pun intended. Knowing what to do and what position to be in. And like, there's that aspect where it's like, when you're doing it with a couple, you know, they're obviously, they owe a lot more to each other and you are the third. Are there, like, elements of jealousy also? Like, this person is your manager. So that's an extra element that I would keep in mind just because there's different power dynamics at play here. So that's the only thing I think would be sticky. I think when you're having a threesome, you have to be the random person in the third. As the third, or if you're in a relationship, you have to find a Third, that is a completely random person, like, that you meet out or, like, they're a mutual someone that, like, you guys have no contact to on the day to day. Because, like, then things could get really weird. And you don't want that to become in, like, the middle of either your work relationship. Or, like, they, like, you don't want them resenting you as, like, a person that gets in the middle of their relationship. If you. If I'm making any sense here, I would just be careful about choosing who you're having a threesome with. Okay, next. Swallowed a load in a porta potty during the Fruit Vista Soul concert last weekend. Honestly, Period. But if I were to swallow a load, the last place I would do it would be in a porta potty. The thought of that makes me want to gag. And not in a good way. That's, like, a lot. How did that even happen? Was there a line out the door? Oh, boy. But, like, it is Rufus De Soul. I get it. You know, the music's good and sometimes you just want to swallow a load. Maybe there was no food at the concert. You just wanted some protein. I get that. But, like, a porta Potty is absolutely fucking diabolical. But I kind of want to be friends with you. I'm not gonna lie. That's kind of iconic. And maybe I'll do that at the next concert I go to. Took a pic with my ex Situation Ship's credit card and used it when he flew to Florida to meet a girl. As he should. As you should, I think. At one point I was hooking with this guy and I had his card on Apple Pay, and then he gave me chlamydia, and I wouldn't stop using it until he canceled his card. And I feel like that's just two plus two equals four. Maybe. I was using the money to go to the clinic to get the chlamydia pills. Like, you know, like, I feel like that makes sense. If he is going to meet up with another girl and you have his credit card girl buy a table at a club and meet some other guys and suck their dicks. That's what I would have done. And maybe that's bad advice for the youth, but do what you got to do to get through those times, girl. Like, we've all been there. Got my ex's Instagram password and caught him cheating. So I DM the girl a video of him licking my. I would do the exact same thing. But, like, does the girl know that? I have a couple questions. Did the girl know that he was in a relationship. I mean, probably if he's posting you on his Instagram, but that's up. I would have done the same. Like, as you should. These girls are so shady. I would have sent a lot more than that. I would have been sending back shots. The craziest things I could find of me and that man to that girl. That's what I would have been doing. I think I've done that before. Honestly. I'm trying to remember, oh, these men. I hate these men. But at the end of the day, the men are to blame. The girl is just, like, a annoying side part. But, like, you should be handling the situation with your man. It. It's so much easier said than done, though, because I would be doing the exact same. I would try to piss off this girl just as much as you did. But it's the man's fault. It's always the man's fault. When is it not the man's fault? Okay, following that up with had sex in mindfulness slash meditation room in the library of my college camp. Yes. Oh, my God. That's kind of iconic. I've had sex in the library bathroom before, too. You know, finals can get difficult, and sometimes you need to take a break from writing that long thesis and suck someone sideways. I got that. I don't see anything wrong with this. And I think you should do it again and record it next time. That's fun. That's flirty. That's what college should be about. Doing crazy like this. Anyways, I'm 26. Been there, been with my man for six years. We just got married, and he's never made me finish. Divorce. That's all I have to say. Next, I need to know if you've ever fucked any of your guy friends that you post on your story. Not Graydon. Yeah, most of them, probably. Which ones are you referring to? I've hooked up a lot with a lot of my guy friends, and probably a lot of them you probably know from online. Unfortunately, I have a couple martinis and everyone looks like Theo James at that point at the end of the night, and I'm just, like, ready to rumble. Okay. Also, like, a girl's gotta eat. And I trust these guys sometimes, so, like, why not? Silly, goofy, we're still friends. Whatever. But I've never done anything people keep thinking I've done with Greedon, which is kind of diabolical. Great. And when I change, he'll, like, turn away and won't even look at my clam. He'll Be like, ah, clam casino. Goodbye. He doesn't want to look at my taco. It's okay. He hates taco. But, oh, that reminds me, what am I getting for lunch today? But anyways, I. I have hooked up with a few of my guy friends, but we're still friends. That's what I mean. Like, I can do casual sex and it's not that deep. And, like, I love them all. Whatever. Okay. One time a hookup had to fist me to get a vibrator out that was stuck in my cooch. I will say, this might be a unique experience. I can't say this has ever happened to me. What toy was it? I always worry about that with butt plugs, which is why the butt plugs usually have, like, a notch at the end where it's, like, kind of shaped like a. You know, like an ace of spades. You can, like, pull it out like a wine cork. Pop. But what if it got stuck in there? That would be very unfortunate, but, like, shit happens. At least it wasn't stuck in your ass. That fisting situation would have been a lot more difficult, and I'm not sure he would have talked to you after that. My boyfriend of five years has no idea I wear blue collar contacts. I feel like that's okay. I doubt he gives a fuck. I don't think it's like Hannah Montana situation where, like, you take your contacts out one day and he's like, oh, my God, you know Hannah Montana, You're Miley Cyrus. I feel like it's, like, very different and, like, you're, like, fooling him and catfishing him. You want to wear. It's like the same thing as, like, dyeing your hair blonde. Like, I don't think it's that big of a deal. He likes you with your blue colored contacts. I don't think he would really. Honestly. Probably doesn't even notice. Color your eyes that much as much as you think. All right, next. My ex used to ask me if he could try on my clothes and bikinis to paint. And to paint his nails. It's giving Caitlyn Jenner circa 2011. I don't know. I just feel wary of this situation. I don't really know what kind of man does that. I mean, to each their own. It's 2025, and we all have our preferences. Are you okay with that? That's all that matters. If you're not, then, you know, pack it up. Pack it up. I don't know if that would turn me on. That might give me the ick. If I walked into my room and a guy has his bulging penis in my favorite Frankie's bikinis and he's painting his nails, you know, bubblegum pink, I don't know how I would feel about that. That might stress me out to the max, but that's just my personal preference. My boyfriend peed on me. I liked it. You know, sometimes it's like nice and warm. That's happened to me before in the shower. But like, I think they were like being funny. It wasn't like sexual. It was like, haha, we're in the shower, I'm being on you. I'm like, okay. I think I was like 17 though. Like if you like it, like you like it. Some people like different things. Saturday night I called my ex boyfriend from high school blacked out asking to girl. We've all been there and we're all gonna be there. And that's what connects us as girls. That's girlhood right there. Don't feel bad about calling your ex asking to fuck. A girl's gotta eat and that's comfortability. You know what that dick is like. You know, it's gonna be hot and passionate. Xx is amazing sex because it has a little bit of hate, a little bit of hurt, a lot of passion, a little go fuck yourself. You're always gonna finish. He knows your body, you know his body. It's gonna be good. Usually it might end in a fight. In the next day you might really feel bad about yourself. But in that drunken moment, it's gonna feel really good and euphoric and you'll move on. It'll be okay. The world will keep spinning. And that's a great one to end it on. I feel like, as always, extra dirty. You can watch on YouTube, like subscribe, and then you can listen to me on any other platform of your liking. As always, I appreciate. I love you guys so much. This episode was a bit mix of, you know, chaos and it was a little bit heavy. But all in all, I love you guys. Thank you for all the support, always. You guys are my people, my rocks. And thank you for tuning in and I will see you next week. Love you all. Bye.
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