Transcript
Hallie (0:00)
Sony Pictures Classics presents. Oh, hi. Directed by Sophie Brooks. Starring Molly Gordon and Logan Lerman, Iris and Isaac's first romantic weekend goes hilariously wrong as Iris tries to prove they're meant to be in increasingly ridiculous and irrational ways. This dark romantic comedy explores the highs and lows of modern dating situationships and the ways it makes us all a little crazy. A Sundance and Tribeca festival favorite. Catch Ojai. In theaters nationwide on July 25th. Visit ojmovie.com for more info.
Dax Shepard (0:30)
Meeting new people just got way more fun. Because now you don't have to do it alone. With Tinder's new double date feature, you and your bestie can match together. Tap the double date icon to see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the group chat kicks off. Scope the profiles, send memes, keep the chat fun. Hype each other up. Flirt a little, maybe plan a hang. It's always better when you're in it together. Try the new Tinder double date. Explore all the possibilities. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. I don't like preppy men. I like men that are, like, kind of disturbed and deranged and twisted and all sick. Kind of like a reflection of me. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. Happy Summer. How is everyone doing? I'm doing lovely. Look at this ice cream sandwich in my hand. I haven't had one of these since I was, like, six. Where do I want to start this episode? I feel like I have so much to update you guys on, but, like, also just I've been. It's been summer, and the weeks go by so quick, and the weeks merge together and the days. I don't know what day it is. I'm having way too many Hugo spritzes. I love a Hugo Spritz. Those are my jam. That's my drink choice of the summer. That and a Mount Gay and Tonic with a little lime and some lime juice. That's also a great drink of the summer. It's refreshing, it's beautiful, it's sexy, it's chic, and it's a great drink to order if you're, like, going on a first date in the summertime, in my opinion. Anyways, where do I start? Updates. Oh, my God. My dad got attacked by a fucking spider. Guys, my dad got bit by a spider. And it's not funny, but like, he almost died. He was in the hospital. So he got bit by this creepy ass spider. It bit him in his leg and apparently there's like a big ass well that was surrounding it. So he was like, whatever. He's just like me. Like, the apple doesn't fall far. Like when my leg could be dangling off my body and I'd be like, it's fine, I can sew it back together. It's not that big of a deal. Like, I don't overreact when it comes to, like, feeling sick or ill or anything. Like, I push through and like, usually that works. Feel like it's mind over matter when it comes to that shit. So he was just like, fudge it, Nantucket. Like, I'm going to be fine. It's just a spider bite. Turns out it's a venomous spider. So this welt starts to like, form on his thigh, okay? And he's still like, whatever wakes up the next morning. And my mom said no one told told me about this, by the way. I'm like hearing this all after he had gone to the hospital and everything. Like, no one called me to let me know that my dad was like in the ER on a antibiotic drip. So my mom said he was like, foggy and like a little lethargic and kind of confused, like something was off, okay? And he wasn't hungover, so, like, something was definitely off. So he goes to, like, get dressed because he was going to go to fucking CrossFit like he does every morning, like a psychopath. And he faints and hits the back of his head and like cracks open the back of his head and he's bleeding from his fucking dome. Still doesn't go to the hospital, although he does need a fucking staple in his head. He's sitting out. So, like, he gets up, my mom's like, what the fuck? You're bleeding from your head. This is insane. He goes over to, you know, go on his computer, which he does every morning, going through like credit card statements, emailing me and my siblings, yelling at us, you know, the whole shebang. And apparently this is what my mom said. He slumps over on top of his computer and starts seizing, like having a full blown fucking seizure. Like, passes out everything. And. And so my mom's like, trying to hold him up, I guess. And like is on the phone with 911 and apparently he comes through and he's like, don't call 91 1. Do not call he's a gash in his head. He just had a fudgeing seizure and he's, like, still debating, like, whether or not he's going to go to fucking CrossFit anyways. My mom's like, you have to go to the hospital and I'm bringing you. So he, like, gathers some strength up and goes to the hospital and he's on, like, this antibiotic drip and he's on antibiotics now and like, like what? A spider in Boston that's venomous. Like, now I'm scared to, like, go to my childhood home and, like, sleep. I don't know what that's about. I thought I'd share that story. What else? I had a sleepover with a boy last night. Production in the back is going like this. Yay. Yay. Yay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yay. And we didn't fuck. And it was fucking disappointing. I was pissed. I wasn't, like, pissed, but I was like, at least, like, finger bang me or something. Like, we were like, cuddling and I was just like, what is the point? Like, we're not. I don't know you like that. Cuddling is almost like, more intimate to me than having sex. Is that crazy to say? Is that a hot take? I feel like, why are we cuddling? Like, I don't know you, but, like, you're in my bed. So I guess I kind of know you, but, like, I don't know you like that, but I don't know, maybe like, this guy, he's such a sweet guy. Like, almost like, too sweet for me. But I could tell he was, like, trying to be, like, a gentleman and, like, maybe like, not be so, like, presumptuous on the first night of us hanging out. But, like, babe, do you watch anything I post online? Like, do you hear the way I talk? Like, you know what you signed up for? Like, it's okay, but maybe next time I do think I'm gonna go on a date with this guy, though. This is a guy I would date. That's a hard statement. I was just saying this to Lauren a few days ago. I was like, I think I'm, like, ready to, like, enter my relationship era. And I've never in the seven years I've known Lauren, sat her down, be like, I think I'm, like, almost, almost ready to start dating because I just, like, immature. Like, I'm an immature, emotionally unintelligent person. I'm extremely self aware and I pride myself on that. But I'm so self aware to the point where, like, I don't want to burden another man with, like, my craziness because it would be a shitstorm. And I don't want more drama in my life. Not when I'm, like, out here, like, working, getting the bag. And I just don't feel like I in that space mentally to, like, start dating. But now I was like, you know what? I think I could see myself cuddling up with a man this fall or maybe next fall, but I don't know, committing to one guy. I don't know what's scarier to me. I'm going on a whole rant now. I don't know what's scarier to me. The thought of breaking up with someone or, like, going through a breakup or the thought of, like, never breaking up and, like, having to spend the rest of your life with someone. That's scary. They should do a horror film on that because. What? I don't know if we're meant to be. I don't want to say monogamous. I just. Again, I'm not there yet. I like being single. I like my alone time. I like not having to report to anyone. But I do get kind of jealous sometimes when I see my friends out and they're like, you know, cozying up to their boyfriends. Well, maybe not Lauren. She doesn't really do that that much. But like, Liv, like, she gets cozy with her boyfriend, I'm like, that's really sweet and cute. Maybe I want that someday for me, but for now, I'm just going to be a single fudgeing baddie and enjoy my summer. I've been a little bit asexual recently. Let's talk about that a little bit. Because I think going through asexual eras is really good for the soul. It's really important. You guys should, like, always take time to just, like, be by yourself. Buy a good vibrator. Just be you. Be one with your hand. Okay? We don't need a fucking man. Also, I just, like, see all these men. Maybe my contacts prescription is all fudged up because I look out into the sea of men at every fucking establishment I go to, and I just get fucking pissed because they're all fucking beat as hell. Or maybe my eyes are just fucked up, but I'm pretty sure they're just beat as fucking hell. Okay. And I also don't want my body count to, like, go up that much more. But it will. It definitely will. And I can't control that. Do we care about body counts? I. Okay, this is a good topic to talk about. I'm like, so ADHD today, so we're going to be jumping around a lot today. But body counts. Mine is extremely high. Not crazy high, but, like, it looks like a phone book, you know, it does look like a yearbook list or something like that. It's all crazy. I don't give a fuck about that, though. I all see those things as experiences and content, things I can talk about online. I've always taken a positive from each of those men. I've learned something new, whether that's a new position or what men to avoid or something. Like, I always take something out of every encounter I've had with literally anyone. But, like, met especially you are always learning something. But anyways, body counts. I'm trying to think, like, I was watching this on Love island. Actually, I'm, like, really getting to getting into Love island right now. And they were doing a body count challenge. I don't know if this was the USA or All Stars or whatever I was watching, but they were doing, like, a body count challenge. And these were lying. I know they were lying. I don't know if some of the men were lying, but, like, these girls were lying. If I had to go in there and do the body count challenge, like, I was watching some of these girls, and they would be like, my body count six. And the guys would be like, oh, fuck, man. Like, what the fuck? Fucking for the streets, motherfucker. And I think that is insane. Mine would be something crazy, and, like, I would be probably kicked out of the villa. That's how I feel also. Why do we care about, like, what our partners have done before? Like, they knew we even existed. I just don't believe in that. Maybe I'm not crazy enough because I know a lot of girls, and I feel like this is, like, universal experience with a lot of girls that they just, like, care a lot of what their boyfriend or partners have done. Like, they get mad at, like, things that they weren't even around for. And I never understood that. And I feel like I need to step up my crazy game or something because I just don't get it. Like, if it was before you and there's after you and there is during. And, like, I just think it should be like, that. Like, if a guy had a. Like, there's a point where it's fucking insane. Like, you don't want, like, a 2000 body count, or, like, you don't want to, like, be hooking up with someone that's fucked, like, 5,000 people. And I was like, a sex addiction. I'VE hooked up with a sex addict before. Actually, probably a few. I might be one myself. No, I'm not. My body count's really not that high. But like, I've hooked up with some guys that definitely have sex addictions. They've had other addictions too, but they got sober and now I just have sex addictions. I've hooked up with multiple people. I feel like that filled this category. And I just feel like when you hook up with someone with a sex addiction that they're, you're like a drug to them. And you're not like a human with a beating heart and soul. You're just like a hit to them, like a drug. So that's the only thing where I, like, draw the line. But other than that, body counts. I think we need to get rid of them. Who cares? Like, I don't give a fudge. I think it'd be weird if someone had a body count of one that's fudgeing. Weird. Like, get out there and fog. Okay, you guys, this episode is brought to you by Zoc Talk. I don't know about you guys, but my entire social bead is filled with different health trends. Red light therapy can solve every skin problem. You should be slamming olive oil shots first thing in the morning. How about we give the algorithm a rest? Turn to IRL healthcare professionals who can help you meet your health goals. And with zocdoc, it's easy. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every special specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and more. Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. I know for me personally, when I first moved to New York City, I was using ZocDoc to book dentist appointments because I couldn't find a good dentist. So this was a really helpful tool to achieve that. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/extradirty to find an instantly booked book. A top rated doctor today. That's Z-O C--O C.com extra dirty Zocdoc.com extra dirty with summer being in full swing, you start to feel that familiar urge to refresh your closet. But why waste money on pieces you'll only wear once or just for one season? That's Where Quinn's comes in, their clothes are timeless, feel luxurious, look elevated, and the quality is way beyond what you'd expect for the price. Think 100% European linens, tops starting at $30. Washable silk dresses and skirts and soft cotton sweaters. Versatile warm weather pieces you'll reach for again and again. For me personally, I ordered a throw blanket from Quince. It's so soft and matches my apartment perfectly. You guys should check out the home decor items for quints too. Give your summer closet an upgrade with quince. Go to quince.com/dirty for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That' Q, U I N C E.com/extra dirty to get free shipping on your order and 360 five day returns. Quince.com/extra dirty what else? Oh, I took all my filler out of my face, which shocked the Internet. But guys, I think it was time. It was time. I feel like my audience right now is watching my frontal lobe develop in real time. This was like a big step for me. I knew it needed to happen, but I want it needed to happen on my own time, my own prerogative. It was my idea. It wasn't the Internet that was telling me to. Although the Internet trolls have trolled me a million times, telling me, like, you need to get everything that you've done to your face reversed. And like, yeah, and sometimes I've agreed with that, but it had to be my idea or else I wouldn't have liked it. Okay. But now I feel so much better and free. I feel like a fresh daisy. I feel like it's honestly the biggest flex ever. If you're my age and you haven't gotten any work done, like, just like this day and age, I feel like it's the biggest flex. There's something so beautiful about having just like no fillers or no Botox. It's never gonna be me. I'm gonna do it again and probably do Botox the rest of my life. But there is a flex that. And there's something to be said about girls that, like, don't feel like they have to do anything to their bodies. That's called security and confidence. And I aspire to have that, but I don't. I have lots of insecurities and I use needles to fix them, and I'm okay with that. And that's the life I chose to live. And that's just my path in life. And that's okay. But the filler removal process, I will say, was a bit unpleasant. I would say an abortion is worse. So I like, on the pain scale, that's not that bad. I would say the IUD's in the middle. Abortions on the far right is top 10 things. And I have a high, high, high pain tolerance. Like it needs to be studied. I would say the abortion was the worst because I took the pill and like the it makes your uterus contract and it's the most insane pain I've ever felt in my life. Ladies, please wear condoms or don't let them cream pie you or take that plan B, because that's some painful ass. And if you do get knocked up and you decide not to keep it, I would do the sur because that's painless. And I hear that's the way to go. I thought the abortion pill would be like, plan B and it would just be like, I took it after a night out. Bad idea, don't do that. I learned a lot from that, which is why I got the iud, which was also painful. But at that point I felt like I deserved the pain because I felt so guilty and bad. But anyways, the filler, it feels like a little bit of a sting. It's definitely a little more uncomfortable than getting filler put in. What was annoying about that process? I think for the most part it was like I spent thousands, thousands of dollars putting filler in just to, like, get rid of it. And I was like, hell, Christ, I was pissed. But I feel like I do look a lot better and I will go back. It takes like two weeks to get into the full effect. And I'm gonna go back in two weeks to get more taken out. And then I'm gonna have all of it out for a few weeks. And then I'll maybe do like a minimal, you know, lip flip, maybe just like a little pinch here and there just to add some structure to my upper lip. Because that was always my biggest insecurity, was my upper lip situation. Because I do want to have dsl. I'm honestly kind of worried, like, what sucking dick is going to be like. Am I going to still give the most virus fucking sucky McGee ever without my fucking fake ass DSLs? I'm scared. I'll test it out with that boy at a sleepover with last night. But, like, we'll see. I'll report back and see how it is. I feel like I'll be fine. I feel like there's a lot of shit going around, like, stigma around filler right now especially. I feel so bad for that sweet girl that's online love island Vanna. And that's like scary because like, you don't know what people are talking on the Internet. Like the Internet trolls have like grown and they've gotten angrier and like they need to be taken off this earth. Death to them all. Okay, that was aggressive. But the sweet girl, Vanna, she was getting ripped for her filler and I just like, like first, like, leave that poor sweet girl alone. She literally did nothing to you guys. Also, if someone wants to get work done to their body, that's their own business. And they shouldn't have to explain that to anyone. They're not putting filler in your body. So I don't know why everyone gets so offended by it. It's like none of your business. And leave that poor sweet angel alone. Also, like, what do you look like whenever people chirp me for my looks online? First of all, I'm like, lol. And then I'm like, wait, what do you look like, you ugly freak? You're probably beat as hell in your parents basement being a weirdo. Okay, anyways, that was like my little ran on filler. I just want everyone to feel like, beautiful in their own bodies. And that's like what's most important. If you feel beautiful, then nothing else should matter. It's your own body. You have to go to bed with it at night. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. Do whatever the you want. If you want to put a horn on top of your head, glued to your head, that is all you, baby cakes. And I am in full support of it.