Exposing myself *my private story, toy count & intimidating men*

Summary

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Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder

Episode: Exposing Myself my private story, toy count & intimidating men

Date: January 22, 2026
Host: Hallie Batchelder (solo episode)

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Episode Overview

In this candid solo episode, Hallie Batchelder brings her signature unfiltered honesty and humor to her loyal listeners, addressing personal updates, answering spicy listener questions, and sharing her private stories about relationships, sex, friendship drama, and life as a NYC influencer. Hallie, true to the “Extra Dirty” brand, spares no detail—covering everything from her latest blowout and binge-worthy martinis to her sex toy collection and thoughts on intimidating men. This episode is packed with vulnerable confessions, laugh-out-loud moments, and raw advice to listeners, making it a perfect pregame listen.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Updates & NYC Chaos

[01:24 – 06:30]

• Hallie shares her “mini bender” week, obsessing over martinis (“nine tomato martinis” at a team influencer dinner).
• Reflects on public perceptions about her sex life:

  “Based off this show and how I speak on this podcast, everyone thinks I’m getting my back blown out every night. That is not the case—I just talk about sex a lot because I love it, enjoy it, and need it to live. Okay, thank you.” (05:02)

• OCD is at an all-time high, but her apartment has “never looked better.”
• She’s aiming to “level up”—dress better, be more intentional, and keep “good friends.”
• Hilariously recounts a run-in with a guy from Dubai—ignoring his advances to rave about the Starbucks Dubai Chocolate drink:

  “All I kept saying to him was, like, I was just raving about the Dubai chocolate from Starbucks. I was like, oh my god, you’re from Dubai? Like, I love the new Starbucks drink!” (07:32)

• Shares late-night limo escapades through a deserted Times Square and the group’s insistence on “Times Square, then back downtown!”
• Fond memories and some embarrassment about her 2016 “wild days”—accompanied by an A-List (maybe B-List) actor.

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2. “Expose Myself” Q&A Segment

[10:08 – 27:30]

Hallie tackles probing and playful questions with brutal sincerity:

• Lying on First Dates:

  “How often I exercise. If a guy is really into fitness...I'll be like, oh my god, I go every day...I also lie about having hobbies. I don't have hobbies...Living is my hobby.” (10:10)

• Pretending Not to Care:

  “I should give a fuck about a lot more things...Judgment from the masses, possibly never having a family one day...Negative comments—sometimes they hurt. Like, I have a beating heart and emotions too sometimes.” (14:22)

• Booty Call Protocol:

  “Having a guy over is rare...I got batteries for that, okay?” (15:44)

• Most Toxic Dating Habit:

  “Gaslighting. Probably also jealousy/insecurity and masking that with being mean to my partner...Picking fights just to have good makeup sex...Damn, I sound like a mess now that I’m listing them all.” (16:08)

• Compliments that Work:

  “When a guy says I’m funny...If you can’t be weird with me, it’s not gonna work.” (17:08)

• Family Fights:
  • Christmas dinner turned full family brawl; Hallie describes being “terrified of my mother.”
• Being Honest About Men:

  “Have you ever lied to a man about being impressed by his dick size? No. Why would I uplift a man for free?...He needs to know what to fix.” (19:18)

• Masturbation Habits:

  “Usually at night. Helps me sleep. I am single and 28, so a lot of nights.” (21:31)

• Sex Toy Count:

  “I would argue 15 plus. I'm not even lying...Four vibrators...butt plugs, whips, chains, handcuffs...I need to stop.” (22:07)

• Real Housewives Takes:
  • Throws shade at Gretchen Rossi (OC) for “whatever she was up to” and Instagram activity.

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3. Private Stories & Close Friends List

[24:50 – 26:00]

• Hallie takes pride in her “private story” (close friends IG), where she’s “funnier, more unfiltered.”
• Explains why she periodically purges people from it—especially college acquaintances who leak screenshots to Reddit:

  “They lost privileges and they will never laugh again, unfortunately. Goodbye and go to fucking hell.” (25:46)

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4. Intimacy, Attraction, and Relationships

[27:37 – 31:00]

• Unavailable Attraction:

  “I do go after men that are typically emotionally unavailable...I think I have commitment issues and I’m scared of long term.” (27:37)

• Intimidating to Men:

  “Men my age...are kind of thrown off by me, which is okay because I don’t want men my age anyway. I think men that are a bit older...are not.” (28:18)

• Intimidating to Women?:
  • Hopes not: “We should all band together and just intimidate the men.”
  • Reflects on how her RBF (resting bitch face) might affect first impressions.
• Dating Preferences:

  “Would you rather date someone hotter than you or funnier than you? 100% funnier. I don’t want to date someone hotter than me. I just can’t deal with the stress of other bitches looking at him.” (30:06)

• Feelings vs. Casual:
  • Hallie leans toward catching “feelings fast and hard” but admits the idea freaks her out.

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5. Listener Confessions (Hilarious Hot Takes & Unfiltered Advice)

[31:00 – 47:30]

Hallie reacts to submissions from listeners about their wildest secrets:

• Car Hookups:

  “Are you cracking in the Honda Civic?...There’s only so many positions you can do over the center console. But like, sometimes hooking up in the car is fun. Those were the days.” (35:49)

• Accidental Queef:
  • “He’ll live to see another day. Guys don’t get disgusted by anything.”
• Married Threesome (with Mom in Hotel Room):

  “This is some swinger-ass activity. It’s giving Nantucket vibes...But your mom adds a different layer here where I don’t know how I feel about that.” (37:40)

• Sugar Baby Income:
  • Listener made $29,000 in 2025 from sugar daddies (“Snaps and kudos—putting up with those men is a job!”).
• Sleep with Friend’s Dad (hush money):

  “Profit off it while he still feels bad...Get yourself a cute bag. Period.” (39:51)

• **Various revenge tactics, wild confessions, and supportive, blunt, and often hilarious commentary throughout.

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6. Advice Segment: Friendship Betrayal in the Sorority

[47:30 – 48:30]

A listener is torn about exposing infidelity within her friend group:

“If you are a real friend to the girl and you know all this information…I think it would be lying by omission. I think you have to tell her to save that friendship...You didn’t ruin those friendships. She did.” (47:50)

• Hallie stresses accountability, honesty, and that “the truth always prevails” in group dynamics.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sex Talk Reputation:

  “I talk about sex a lot because I love it, enjoy it, and need it to live. Okay, thank you.” (05:02)

• On Dating & Intimacy:

  “Would I ever go after someone that's in a relationship? Absolutely the fuck not. I'm not a sick, twisted, fucking worthless whore.” (27:37)

• On Intimidating Men:

  “You look like a pussy and I do not like it.” (28:37)

• On Self-Expression:

  “Living is my hobby. Like, can we just appreciate that and have some gratitude a moment for just existing, please?” (10:38)

• On Family Drama:

  “Chad was so fucked up. I was so fucked up. Sammy looked at me the wrong way and I said, ‘What the fuck are you looking at?’” (18:10)

• On Haters and Comments:

  “Negative comments...sometimes they hurt. Like, I have a beating heart and emotions too sometimes. Although I've gotten better...the skin grows thicker in this industry.” (14:22)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Life Updates, NYC Adventures:
  01:24 – 09:10
• Expose Myself Questions Begin:
  10:08
• Answering Dating, Sex, and Relationship Questions:
  10:10 – 27:30
• Private Story/Close Friends:
  24:50 – 26:00
• Intimidating Men, Relationship Preferences:
  27:37 – 31:00
• Listener Confessions/Reaction:
  31:00 – 47:30
• Sorority Friendship Dilemma & Advice:
  47:30 – 48:30

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Tone & Style

Hallie is unapologetically real, irreverent, and hilarious throughout, answering even the most outrageous questions with honesty and a dash of self-deprecation. Her tone is confessional-sleepover-meets-standup—with a healthy dose of New York City edge.

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For New Listeners

If you want to feel like you’re getting the full, honest, uncensored recap of a messy NYC influencer’s life (with tipsy wisdom and no judgment), this episode is a perfect intro to Hallie Batchelder’s “Extra Dirty.” Whether you’re seeking advice, voyeuristic thrills, or just a laugh, Hallie delivers.

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Transcript

[Daniella Perkins]

I believe that American Idol can change my life for the better.

[American Idol Announcer]

ABC Monday. American Idol is back.

[Daniella Perkins]

Why are you so emotional? I didn't think I'd ever get to be somewhere like this.

[American Idol Announcer]

Where your vote turns dreamers. You ready for it? You're going to Hollywood, meet into idols. There it is the golden ticket.

[Daniella Perkins]

You are inspiring. You're pretty incredible.

[American Idol Announcer]

American Idol season premiere Monday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

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[Daniella Perkins]

I love conflict and argument and I'm like, a bit toxic in that way. Oh, my God. I'm problematic. A moment for that. What up, you little freaks? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night.

[Podcast Host]

Hello, all. Welcome back to Extra Dirty.

[Daniella Perkins]

It's just me today. I thought we'd do a solo. I feel like we're gonna get into a lot of, like, listener questions today and also just, like, a lot of, like, questions about me. I don't know if that would be a segment. I don't know what to call the segment yet, but, like, I'm gonna answer questions. I guess that's what I do a lot on the show, but I don't know what to call the segment. So it's basically a whole segment where I expose and exploit myself, which I guess is not so different from any episode we do on here, but we're gonna make a whole segment out of it. It was gonna be like or drink where, like, if I don't want to answer the question, I would take a sip of alcohol, but I'm just going to answer them instead because I'm not a. And this is what we do on the show. Okay. Anyways, let's begin. Let's just start with some updates. Some updates about me. I got a blowout this morning. Although I need to get my back blown out. That's one of my goals this weekend, is to get laid. Because I feel myself withering away. I feel myself getting in a mood. I feel myself getting angry at things that are out of my control. And it's just because I haven't gotten laid. And I think based off this show and how I speak on this podcast, everyone thinks I'm getting my blown out, like, every night. That is not the Case I just talk about sex a lot because I love it, enjoy it, and need it to live. Okay, thank you. I've been on what we call a mini bender. I've been going out to dinner and having more than two martinis. And you guys know my rule on martinis. Two is they're like a pair of two is great threes, doesn't make sense, and it's way too much. But, you know, for instance, I was at the corner store last night at a business meal meeting to write off if I'm with another influencer. I gotta think about taxes, blah, blah, blah. But, like, I was out with my agent and someone else that is repped by UTA or whatever, whoever's in the same. We had the same agent, whatever. So we went out to, like, a little team dinner, and I think I had nine tomato martinis. But, like, it all depends on the size of the coop. It was in a coop, not a glass. Okay. And if you have a coupe and it's like a small, like a little teapot, I'm. No, give me nine of those coops. So I had nine of the coops, and I literally. Tomato martinis have been my hyper fixation drink. I need to learn how to make it, but they just make the best martinis there. They go right down so smoothly. So I had, like, nine of those. And dinner was good, but I'm doing a lot of, like, dinners where it just, like, ends with eyes being in different directions. What else I've been doing? My OCD has been really bad recently to the point where I feel like I might need to get medicated. Not medicated. My apartments never look better, honestly. So I'm kind of riding that wave. I have a closet organizer coming in on Monday. I just, like, feel like I have so many good clothes, and one of my goals this year is to, like, wear all of them. I buy so much nice clothing, expensive, nice clothing, and I wear the same uniform every week. And I go out during the day looking like a homeless slob. Like, I just, like. I don't dress up during the day, and I want to make it a point where I, like, kind of wear better clothes instead of just wearing, like, a hoodie and sweatpants and, like, putting no effort in at all. This year we're putting an effort and we're being intentional. And what else are we doing? I keep, like, coming on this show and, like, saying, I'm gonna do so many things, which is, like, so not my vibe. I'm like, this year, this is what we're bringing this year. This is what we're not bringing, which is so not my vibe, because I don't give a about near or so solutions really. But I'm just trying to be a bit more intentional. I want to level up this year. I want to make good money, I want to keep good friends, and I need everyone else to shut the up. And that's on. Period. Okay, what else? My new coffee order is a Dubai chocolate from Starbucks. I was at the Box the other night and as I was leaving, this guy came up to me and he said, I'm from Dubai and this is like 5am by the way. Like, he came up to me and he was like hitting on me, trying to get my number. But like, I'm not doing long distance, baby. Like, you live in Dubai. Like, get out of here. And all I kept saying to him was like, I was just raving about the Dubai chocolate from Starbucks. I was like, oh my God, you're from Dubai. Like, I love the new Starbucks drink. And he was like looking at me like I had 10 heads. He was like, what the is this talking about? I was like, you have no idea what you mean to me. Because this Dubai chocolate drink that you've brought to Starbucks has been life changing for my mornings. And I talked to him about 30 minutes and he was just like, I don't even want to hit on this girl anymore. Another thing I've been doing after my casual dinners is finding a limo, which they park conveniently out front of every club and restaurant in New York City. And it's always the same guy. And one thing about us is like, if we're drunk enough as a group, collectively, we will be getting into a limo and we will say, take me to Times Square. That's what we say. We go, take me to Times Square and then come back downtown and drop us off at my apartment, which is where I had the afters this week. Weekend. But, like, we went to Times Square. The only people in Times Square. It was bright as a. It looked like a movie theater. It was like a snow globe. It was the most. I felt like I was tripping. Maybe I was, but like, I felt like I was tripping ass. Everything was so bright and no one was in the streets of Times Square. And we made the limo driver get out of the car once we got to Times Square and take a group photo of us before heading back downtown. I look like the soul has left the chat. Like, I look like a soulless body. Okay, Soulless body. No brains. Brains is mashed Potatoes. What else? The 2016 trend that's going on right now that I've yet to participate in. I mean, I was in rehab when I was in 2016. I wasn't even like taking pictures back then, I don't think. But I was going through camera roll. And I will say that I was probably doing some things in 2016 that. No. 18 year old. I was 18. I was a sophomore in college in 2016, I think. Or a freshman in college. Like, I was young, but I was at the box with like one specific A list, maybe B list. No actor that my friend was hooking up with that I've talked about on the show before. And he would bring us to the box because you can't really take pictures in the box because of like, what goes on there. It's kind of like a live sex show kind of situation. And it would be like this. A list actor who is twice her age, a bunch of like a group of like 18, 19 year old girls as is like, little posse and us at the box at a table, like, people probably were like, what the fuck is going on? So I won't be participating in that trend. I also was never like a VSCO girl. Like, I wish I was, like, a lot more artsy and aesthetic back then. But vsco, when it used to be popping, which was kind of like my heyday, I guess, high school VSCO was really big for me in like kind of the beginning of college, I guess. I don't know when VSCO dropped off, but I remember, like looking up to like Alexis Wren and just being like. And Jay Alvarez. Like, at every pregame in college, we would put on those YouTube videos of them. Just like, when I think about you. You know that song I Can Taste the Cotton Candy Svedka, as that song goes on. Because it brings me back to a pre game, to every pregame, when we pregame with the senior boys when we're a freshman in college and we're drinking this Fedka R A piece vodka. But yeah, that was my 2016 crazy year. I think that was probably my year. My most bodies. Honestly too. My freshman year, I went nuts. I'm still nuts, but I don't try to get as many bodies now. All right, next, after that little beautiful, random intro, let's get into. I'm gonna do the segment where I just expose myself first. I'm not really gonna like, go that hard, but, like, I will answer honestly, which I wouldn't be me if I wasn't answering honestly to anything. I don't lie on this show. Sometimes I feel like I should. I should just start lying. Okay. And just, like, making up random stories and just saying the craziest and just completely lying and dragging random people into it. Like, being like, oh, I hooked up with this A list celebrity. Oh, my God. He, like, like, what if I just started lying? That would be fun, honestly, but I'm not gonna do that.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Daniella Perkins]

What's something you've lied about on a first date? We all know I don't like to date, and that's something I need to get over because I feel like I'm just such a commitment phobe. What sounds worse? I'd rather, like, what's scarier? A relationship ending or it never ending? The never ending thing scares me more. It freaks me out. Like, how do I know if I've chosen the right guy? I'm going on a tangent now that I could really go on, but, like, I always feel like the grass is greener and I need to go to therapy. All right, continue. What do I lie about on a first date? How often I exercise. If a guy is, like, really into fitness and he's telling me about, like, solid core, I'll be like, oh, my God, I go every day. Those planks. Oh, my God. Do you do any, like. What are they called? Moderations. I'm like, I don't with that. I do the plank for the whole thing, and I'll just make things up like that. I also lie about having hobbies. I don't have hobbies. I'm trying to find hobbies at the ripe age of 28, but my hobbies include, like, I don't have them, and I feel like, you don't need to have them. Like, I'm just, like, living is my hobby. Like, can we just appreciate that and have some gratitude a moment for just existing, please? Like, I don't need to have a hobby. I don't really read. I don't really walk. I sound incapable of these things. But, like, I can't. I don't really read. I don't write. I don't walk. I don't swim, and I don't exercise much. I go through phases. Right now I just feel like my body doesn't need me to, like, have that much strain. I don't really need to exercise right now, in my opinion. But, like, I vape. I like cigarettes casually with friends. Like, can I say that on our first date? Probably not. He might run. He might run for the hills. You know, I've never had a guy ask me my body count on a first date, but I probably would lie about that. Although, like, it would take minimal research to actually find that out because I have said it on a couple podcasts. So it depends, like, how much research is this guy doing before his first date? Like, what questions does he want to ask? Like, but my hobbies include nothing in living and loving and laughing. Thank you. I believe that American Idol can change my life for the better.

[American Idol Announcer]

ABC Monday. American Idol is back.

[Daniella Perkins]

Why are you so emotional? I didn't think I'd ever get to be somewhere like this.

[American Idol Announcer]

Where your vote turns dreamers. You ready for it? You're going to Hollywood league into idols. There it is, the golden ticket.

[Daniella Perkins]

You are inspiring. You're pretty incredible.

[American Idol Announcer]

American idols season premiere Monday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Daniella Perkins]

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[Daniella Perkins]

What's something you pretend you don't care about but actually do? The truth is, I should give a fuck about a lot more things that I don't give a fuck about. I kind of just ignore them. Like my health, my mental state, judgment from the masses, possibly never having a family one day. Like, what if. What if I die alone? That's probably something that I act like I don't care about. Like I do care about that I don't want to die alone. That sounds so cold and boring. Okay, my hair. I mean, I can buy it and glue it to my fucking dome, but, like, I do wish I had luscious locs like Goldilocks, but I don't. And do some of those comments Rub me the wrong way? Absolutely. But thank God I can afford to buy and glue it to my hair. Thank you. It looks great right now. I just got it blown out this morning. But, yeah, you know, negative comments. I've gotten better about people just trolling the shit out of me as, like, one of their hobbies. But, like, you know, it's not fun to read, especially you're having an off or bad day. Like, I pretend not to care about those comments, but, like, sometimes they hurt. Like, I have a beating heart and emotions too sometimes. Although I've gotten better about being, you know, a bit. You know, the skin grows thicker in this industry, so I've gotten better about it. What else? What was the last time you sent a booty call? Text. I've been like, I throw text all the time. Like, really just depends how many martinis I've had. Like, I was even throwing out texts last night. But, like, having a guy over is rare. Like, I. I don't really do that because, honestly, I don't want, like, I. I sleep with the TV on and I'm watching Real Housewives, and, like, I don't want him poking me with his robbing. Like, sometimes I just need me time. Okay. I got batteries for that. Okay. Like, I usually just, like, end up bringing a guy home. But, like, I'm never, like, in bed being, like, come over because. Don't, please, because then you have to, like, leave. I don't remember the last time I sober booty called anyone. Honestly. Maybe college. I'm definitely not sober. I don't know, but I don't do that often. Okay, what's your most toxic dating habit? Gaslighting? Probably. Probably also jealousy slash insecurity and masking that with being mean to my partner and knocking them down a peg just because misery loves company and I need them to, like, know their place. Always being right. You're never gonna win an argument with me. Like, I will convince you this guy is red, and you could say, this guy is blue. This guy is not fucking blue. It's red. And I'll always win that fight. I'll, like, never listen to, like, their point because I'm. I don't even care about their point. My point is correct. Picking fights just to have good makeup sex. That's maybe a twisted one. But, like, some things get dull. I mean, or the last relationship I was in, like, it was just, like, dull at the end. I'd be like, all right, let's fight so at least we can have some emotion here. Damn, I sound Like a mess now that I'm listing them all out. This is why I've been single for a few years. Because I love conflict and argument and I'm like a bit toxic in that way. Oh my God, I'm problematic. A moment for that. Okay, back bringing it back in. But I've evolved. Okay, I'm just talking about my past relationships, situationships, thingies. What's a compliment that immediately works for you every time? When a guy says I'm funny, I like appreciate that because he's listening to me and he appreciates good humor. And if we don't have the same type of sense of humor, it probably won't work out because I can have very dark humor, sometimes morbid. I'm very self deprecating and I'm very like silly. Sometimes guys think I'm weird cause I feel like it's too much sometimes. But if you can't be weird with me, it's not gonna work. It'll never work. Honestly, I don't think you will ever find love if you can't be weird with someone that you're dating. Or if they say I have a nice smile and a nice back. I appreciate a guy taste. If they like my bolt ons, we're good. What is next? When was the last time you were pissed at your family member? Probably Christmas dinner. I mean we went out to Teresi and they didn't seat us until like 10 and we didn't get food until like 11. So everyone was kind of on edge and a little cranky and then we all just like full family brawl. Chad was so fucked up. I was so fucked up. Sammy looked at me the wrong way and I said, what the fuck are you looking at? He's like, you drunk bitch. And we were just like all fighting with one another and then I thanked my dad for dinner and he goes, fuck you, Chad. And then we went out. Yeah, that's probably a lot. I don't really fight with my siblings that much. I don't like to fight with my siblings and I don't really fight with my parents either. I'm terrified of my mother. My dad I can handle. I'm terrified of my mother because when my mom's mad, that's when you know to brace for impact. Not in a fit like she's not like hitting me, but like, I mean like, like she. If she's mad at you, you will know and the house will be uncomfortable and I'm scared of that. Okay, next. Have you ever lied to a man about Being impressed by his dick size? No. Why would I uplift a man for free? Like, what? Why would I do that? I don't even know why that's. No. And also, like, a guy knows that I'm unimpressed by his dick because then I just, like, finish myself off in front of them and make him watch as he sits there helpless. I'm such a. But, yeah, I don't. I don't really believe in uplifting men when it's not, you know, you're not getting any thought. Like, what's the point of being, like, you have a nice dick, lying to him about it? Like, no man is that nice and that deserving in my opinion. And I'm not even, like, a man hater. Like, I just, like, what's the point? If I had a flat chest, I don't want a man commenting on my massive rack. Like, you're lying to me, and I'm not that good of a liar. I can't even imagine being faking, being impressed by a dick. Is that like a fake orgasm? Why? I don't even know why people do that. Why, like, let a man know that he's, like, pleasuring you if he's not? He needs to know what to fix and where to be better. And, like, he needs to take it down a peg. Because all these men out here are thinking, they're making all these finish, baby, I promise you they're not. They're not, they're not. And these men need to be humbled. I need to be humbled. But, like, that's just my honest opinion. Do you masturbate at night or in the morning? Usually at night. Helps me sleep. It's like, why get up and get a Lemmy sleep when you have a vibrator next to your bed? That's what I use as it, like, helps me sleep. I think it helps a lot of people sleep. I rarely do it in the morning, but, like, I mean, sometimes I go through phases. It does really add a good start to your day. But I would say more than not night. I am single and 28, so a lot of nights. How many sex toys do you have? 0 to 1, 2 to 5, 6. 14, 15 plus. I would argue 15 plus. I'm not even lying. And hear me out. This is like a sex positive podcast and I talk about sex a lot. I'm gifted a lot of toys and I don't wanna throw them out. The sex toys I use, they range. I have four vibrators that I go through. They're like, One's a sucker, which I don't use rarely. The other's just the egg, and some are good with a guy there. That's a whole other category of a few other toys. But I have, like, the butt plugs, the whips, the chains, the handcuffs. Like, those all count too. Blindfolds, nipple clamps. What else do we have in the repertoire? I'm getting my closet organized on Monday, and I'm gonna have to be like, babe, we're not touching this door, and we're not touching this door in this drawer. I think that's it. But, like, I would say if it's not around 14, it's maybe 15, 16 toys collectively. That's like, a lot. I need to stop. Like, do I pull out a whip every time I hook up with a guy? No. It's a sick, though. It's a sick whip, though. It's like a leather whip and has, like, indents of three hearts. So if you hit someone with it, like, it'll leave hurts on your body. It's kind of cute. No. All right, next. Who is your least favorite housewife? Damn, that's a messy question. I mean, it rotates, you know, I. I do, like. I will say I did not like Gretchen Rossi, her. Whatever the her name is. She got a bad edit. I would say on. I did not like whatever she was up to on this most recent season of Beverly, not Beverly Hills of Orange county, based off of the things that she was liking on Instagram. And I do not stand by that. And I don't agree with that. And she will rule. She's on my rude list. I saw that and was like that shit. So I. I would say maybe right now, Gretchen Rossi on my shit list, least favorite. But there's a couple others I don't love either. There's a lot of them are like, wow, it's a lot. But, like, I'm not going to be name dropping on here. Besides Gretchen Rossi, I feel like you deserve it. The messiest Real Housewives people are the best ones. Will anyone listening be sad to hear that they're not on your private story? Probably everyone listening, because my private story is fucking iconic. I post way more on my private story than I do on any other platform combined. I complain a lot on there. I shit talk a lot on there. I do everything on there. And if you are on my private story, which is probably a group of 80 people, which is kind of a lot, but, like, 80 people I fucking trust to be on there are on there, and I hope they get a good goal because it's an honor to be a part of it. But anyone specifically, like I've taken a lot of people that I went to college with off. I guess I'll say that because in a time where I talk a lot of shit on these close friends, sometimes these screenshots end up on Reddit and then I'm like, who's the leak? Who's the leak? And then I have to go through and think about the people that probably are on Reddit the most and I.

[Podcast Host]

Have to take them off.

[Daniella Perkins]

They lost privileges and they will never laugh again, unfortunately. Goodbye and go to fucking hell. Sorry, I got very passionate about that. Also. This mic is right between my tits. Stay there.

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[Daniella Perkins]

Have you ever wanted someone more once they become unavailable? I feel like this is a pretty normal psychological phenomenon. I'm not gonna lie. Would I ever go after someone that's in a relationship? Absolutely the fuck not. I would never do that. But I think there's some sort of thing that goes on in your brain once something is taken away, it becomes like more desired. You Know, it's. It's like the forbidden fruit and it's like, you know, the challenge, like, kind of vibes. But like, I would never go after a man that's like, in a relationship. I'm not a sick, twisted, fucking worthless whore. Okay. And I know a lot of bitches that would too. A lot of bitches that would. But on the flip of that, I do go after men that are typically emotionally unavailable. I don't know if that counts as part of this question, but I think there's something to be said that I'm attracted to men that I know deep down. It's not gonna work out long term because I think I have commitment issues and I'm scared of longevity and I'm scared of long term. But there's something about an emotionally available men unavailable men that I'm like, sit on my face. Do you think you are intimidating to men? Yes. Men my age, which is. Which I don't like. That gives me the. I think some men my age are kind of thrown off by me, which is okay because I don't want men my age anyways. I think men that are a bit older than me, like 10 years older than me are not. I think they think I'm like, young and cute and innocent. And I kind of like having that point of view better. I don't want, like, I had met men that are my age that admit to being like. And you can tell, they're like, body language. They're like a little shifty around me, and I'm just like, this is so not hot. Like, what about this says throw me through a wall? Nothing. You look like a pussy and I do not like it. Do you think women find you intimidating? I'd like to think not. I don't know. Honestly, I really hope I don't come off as intimidating to women because honestly, I think we should all band together and just intimidate the men. Like, I just feel like that's what we should be doing. I think maybe my RBF and my, like, I kind of stand like this sometimes. Very closed off. I think I've talked about that before. But I do think that maybe the RBF people expect a different tone of conversation with me. But, like, once I open my mouth, I'm pretty friendly and warm and like, very engaging with people. But I do feed off vibes. So, like, if a girl is like, being rude, standoffish, like, her shit doesn't stink, then I will be reserved. Usually girls that act like that think they're better than you. Are probably insecure, undereducated, or have a very underwhelming personality as a whole, which is kind of, like, mean maybe. But, like, I think. I think being a cunt when you're meeting someone new is the worst look ever. Like, babe, who the are you? And who told you you could act like that? Because, like, you're not cute enough to act like that. I don't know. I hate when people are just rude right off the bat. But also, I'm, like, very analytical in social settings, so I read people right away. Like, when I'm talking to someone, like, I am analyzing their body language, how they're speaking, blah, blah, blah. And then I will know how I can act. So if someone's closed off, I'll be closed off. If someone's very open, friendly, giggly, I'll know I can, like, let down that wall and be fun and giggly too. And then we can have a normal conversation. On top of that, I have spurts of social anxiety. So sometimes I'll look back and analyze my own conversations with people and be like, was I weird? But that's a whole fucking other different issue, and I probably should get medicated for that, but I won't. The martinis will do. Okay, next. Would you rather date someone hotter than you or funnier than you? 100% funnier. And this could be a hot take, but I don't want to date someone hotter than me. Is that a hot take? Because I just can't deal with the stress of other bitches looking at him. If he's that much hotter than me. Obviously I want an attractive guy, but I would rather him be, like, one. One notch below me, attractive level and super fucking funny and super fucking rich and a super dick. He can slang across my face. That's my ideal man. If I was to build a man, it would be that. Oh, I miss him already. Okay, would you rather keep things casual forever or catch feelings fast and hard? I mean, this question, like, freaks me out and gives me anxiety. Like, what do you mean, catch feelings fast and hard? I do that. I think I'd rather catch feelings fast and hard because is anything ever casual if you're dicks? If they're dicks inside of you? I mean, I don't think we're programmed to act like that. I mean, I try to keep things casual, and there's some guys that I would never date. That's my extent of casual. But, like, you, I feel like you can't really compare these two. Like, obviously I wouldn't Want to catch things casual forever as opposed to, like, having feelings for someone forever. But I don't know. What do you think? I don't know. I would probably get feelings fast and hard as long as, like, they catch feelings fast and hard. It has to be like a two way street here. But I don't think I'd want to keep things casual forever because the word forever freaks me out. I don't know. I'm gonna skip that one. I don't even know if I answered that correctly. I think I just contradicted myself 13 times. But, like, ignore. Would you rather accidentally text I love you to your ex or your crush to my ex? Because he wouldn't receive it because I'm blocked on everything, which is where I should be. But like, also, if I wasn't blocked, if I texted I love you to my ex, like, he'd be like, okay, you're a fucking weirdo. Stop talking about me on your podcast. Like, it would be brushed off pretty quickly. Would I text I love you to my crush though? Fuck no. He can't know my feelings. I have a few crushes right now though, that I'm excited about. But one day that's something I've been getting better about not doing is talking about people presently on the show trying to keep that a little bit more private. I mean, I'll talk about the greater themes and things, but if I like a guy, I probably won't be talking about him on this show, but I'll still tell stories. But there's no one special right now. But there's a couple that my eye on. All right, let's go to the next segment, Listener Confessions. I was told that from my producer that these were extra spicy and fun this week, so I'm excited to read through these. Okay, let's go. My neighbor and I have been hooking up in in his car for past five years and no one knows. Babe, get a hotel room. Was he broke? What do you mean you're cracking in the Honda Civic? What do you mean? Get a bed. You're gonna get your back blown out. And not the good way, the bad way. There's only, only so many positions you can do over the center console. That is insane. But like hot, I guess, but like, kinda sauce. Babe, like, get a hotel room. If, like, what do you mean five years? But like, sometimes hooking up in the car is fun. I used to do that all the time with my high school boyfriend once we, like, were in the cape and we were hooking up on the Side of the road and, like, it was, like, in a parking lot and the police came up and, like, knocked on the window. I felt like it was in a movie scene and I was sucking him sideways in the passenger seat. But those were the fucking days. Those were the days, and they shaped me as a human being today. But, I mean, I guess if you're okay with the car situation. What kind of car? Is it an suv?

[Podcast Host]

Is it.

[Daniella Perkins]

Is it a sedan? Is the car on? Are we laying the seats back? Are we bringing in pillows? Is there music going on? I have questions. Is it in front of your house? In front of his house? Are you driving down the street? Are you in the McDonald's parking lot? I have a lot of questions about your situation, and I would like you to inform me more. Okay. I was hooking up with this guy and he went down on me and I queeped in his face. He'll get over it and he'll live to see another day. Like, I mean, that's kind of funny, though, because, I mean, that's never happened to me. But, like, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I low key think guys don't get disgusted by anything or freaked out or grossed out. Like, he's just happy. His face is in a puss. Like, I think he's just happy to be there. He probably wasn't even paying attention. He was probably just counting the Alphabet with his tongue. Like, he probably didn't even know there was a queef going on. So I. I wouldn't even stress, babe. And I think you're good, but, like, happens. Okay. I made out sl messed with a woman while her husband watched and my mom was in the hotel room. Wait, let me reread that, babe. I made out sl master the woman while her husband watched. And my mom was in the hotel. All right, so was your mom watching too, also? Like, this is some swinger ass activity. It's giving Nantucket vibes. I know a lot of Nantucket people that are swingers like this. They'll just like. It's called cuckold. Okay, so, like, they like to watch their wives get by another man while they jerk off in the corner that, you know. You know, everyone's got a cup of tea, but, like, it's interesting. But you're making out with the woman while the husband watched. I mean, husband probably thought he was, like, in heaven. Like, he probably thought that was so hot. You know, married couples probably hit a point where they're like, we need to spice things up. And, like, if we bring in a third party, like, it's not cheating as long as we both. We're both okay with it. Like, all parties consent, you know, So I feel like they just wanted to get their freak on and you were the chosen one. But the mom adds a different layer here where I don't know how I feel about that. Like, was your mom watching? Or was your mom, like, in a different hotel room? Like, I need you to tell me that, like, so I can sleep tonight. Like, I need to know. Please DM me.

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[Podcast Host]

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[Daniella Perkins]

Okay, I slept with my best friend's dad in St. Barts, and he's been selling me hush money, period. As he should. Are you blackmailing him? I have more questions about this one, too. But, like, he. I mean, what. How much hush money? Who's. Who's your dad's friend? How much are we talking? I wouldn't feel bad about this. This guy obviously has a guilty conscience. Whatever. But, like, profit off it while he still feels bad. I mean, my dad's best friend. I mean, you guys were in St. Bart's so it sounds like he was rich, so period I would continue to take those payments and get yourself a cute bag. That's what I would do. It seems logical. Yeah. I got down in a tractor. The guy was plotting. Excuse me, These are terms. I don't know. What's plotting mean? Is that like a agriculture thing? Wait, I thought he was literally like you were sucking him sideways while he was like plowing down fields. I was like, wow, there's a lot of plow going on. Oh, but that makes no. I got down in a tractor while the guy was plotting. And let me just make sure. I think he was doing his agriculture job while this girl was going getting crazy with them, sucking his shit. What is plotting when it comes in terms of agriculture? Occupation in agriculture, plotting usually refers to dividing land into small sections for planting and managing crops. Farmers. So you fucked a farmer while he was working. That's so hot. I love that. Hopefully he like was clean, not dirty, but wow, not as thinking. He meant. You meant scheming. Like he was scheming, but I'm like, that makes no sense. Okay, that's fun. Once I sucked a guy off while he was fishing. So that's kind of like similar. I was not the only rod that was out on his boat. I cracked myself up. Okay, let's go. Next question. If your BFF of 15 years accused your dad of cheating with no hard evidence, what would you do? Did your BFF your dad? If she is that convinced, you're gonna have to come up with like receipts, timeline proof. There's no other way. I would tell her to off first. If she's just saying that. If she's just guessing, that's pretty damaging to a family member. I would also start questioning the friend if she's getting with her dad because how would you know all the tea? I went to rehab with Amanda Bynes. Oh, Amanda. I still hope that she has a Demi Lovato level comeback. She was so talented, so precious, such a bright light when she was like a child actor. I just don't know how they fucked her up at Disney. You see this a lot with child actors, Nickelodeon, Disney, etc, and it's really sad to see. I don't know what the fucked up goes on over there, but I really hope that she makes a comeback. I bet she's really sweet. That's kind of. I hope you were nice to her in rehab. I bet people will say that about me. I went to rehab with Halle Bachelor because it's true for some people. But that's kind of interesting lore. I will say. Okay, I put My full tampon in my ex's weed bowl because he kept smoking it inside.

[Podcast Host]

Huh.

[Daniella Perkins]

What do you mean? What do you mean? But like, a used one? I thought weed bowls were small. I used to smoke out of apples, so I don't really know the gist. I used to do gravity bongs. I used to, like, get really fucking high when I was, like, 14. And then I went through a phase again when I was, like, in college, but I don't smoke now. It makes me think about mortality. Okay? I mean, I. He's your ex, so he can go himself, and I don't feel bad for him. I'm on your side. I don't care if the tampon was used or not. He's in the wrong because he's the man. Okay? I made $29,000 in 2025 from Sugar Daddies, not including gifts and trips. Power to you, sister. I would say that is work. That is work. You are clocking in because putting up with these men, especially those scary older men, is a job. It's an occupation within itself. And my moral compass is all fucking backwards, as we all know. So, like, I'm. What, am I going to sit here and judge you? No. No, I'm not going to. I'm giving you snaps and kudos as long as you're happy and doing your thing. I mean, you're making that bread, so I'm. I'm proud of you. Okay, next. To end out the episode and just like to round out this whole episode, I just said episode 14 times. I got a DM from one of you asking for my advice, and I want to try to help because I read the paragraph, and I was like, okay, this girl means back in business. So we're gonna end the episode with that. I'm gonna read it, I'm gonna give the situation, and then we're gonna try to fix it, because I like solutions. Problems, not problems, period. Okay, continue. All right, the DM goes. I need help. So one of my best friends, my sorority twin, had sex with one of our best friends, our literal bigs talking stage slash guy she hangs out with literally every day. My friend only told me in the other girl in my big has no clue the guy. And my friend agreed to never tell her, but I just had this awful guilty feeling that she needs to know I have a boyfriend too. So now it kind of makes me worried about her trying to make a move. Not trying to make this about me, lol. But I also don't want to be the one to say something and get involved. I just feel sick knowing she has no idea. So this girl is a. And it's bad if one of your best friends is in talking situationship with a guy, and you go for the guy. This is what I was talking about earlier when it comes to, like, the forbidden fruit. And, like, there's something psychological that goes on in someone's brain when someone is taken. And acting on it with one of your best friends especially is diabolically insane. And I think if you. Whoever wrote this, if you are a real friend to the girl and you know all this information, I think it would. It would be lying by omission. I think you have to tell her to save that friendship. And yes, maybe you're friends with the girl that actually up, but she's gonna have to, you know, she's the one that did it and up. Like, she's gonna have to pay those consequences. You didn't ruin those friendships. She did, is what I'm trying to say. I don't like this. And it kind of gives me, like, icky vibes. It kind of gives me, like, tell me lies vibes, which I don't love. And I think you would be. Yes, I get understanding. It's like, a weird position to be in, and you don't want to get involved, but I feel like you would be being. You're doing your friend a disservice if you don't get involved. Like, I'm just trying to think if this was. These were my best friends, I would slap that hoe right across the face. And then I would tell my other friend what she did. You got to hold your friends accountable, or else you're not being a good friend. So hold this bitch accountable. Tell the other girl what happened. Hopefully they don't shoot the messenger. But, like, this is messy. This is messy. Messy. Yeah. I mean, I would go to the Big and be like, listen, like, I know this information. I want my hands clean of it. You didn't hear it from me, but this is what happened. That's what I would do. But I get. You're gonna have a guilty conscience about your friend, but, like, your friend's the one that fucked up. It's fucked up shit. Especially if you're all in the same sorority. I mean, you can't be doing that in sororities. Everyone. The truth always prevails. So do you want to be the one that, like, kept this information to yourself or be. Or do you want to be a good friend? And also your BIG would be pissed if she knew that you weren't like, it's just, like, a lot of power dynamics going on, too. Like, your Big's gonna be pissed if she finds out that, like, your friend did that and that you knew. So I would tell her.

[Podcast Host]

All right?

[Daniella Perkins]

That was my answer to that. This was a very fun solo episode, mainly because I get to just hang out with you guys, also because I'm in a good mood today and also because I got my hair blown out this morning. So I look good, hopefully, in all these clips. But I love you all, as always. You can watch on YouTube, like, subscribe, tell your friends you can listen to me on any other platform, and I will see you all next week. Thank you very much, and have a good weekend. Hi. Choose to show up with the bold styling of the Mazda CX30.

[American Idol Announcer]

I wake up.