Getting the male perspective with my brother Sammy + Graydon!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder Episode: Getting the Male Perspective with My Brother Sammy + Graydon! Release Date: March 20, 2025

Introduction In this lively episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, host Hallie Batchelder welcomes her longtime friends and listeners Graydon Cutler and her youngest brother Sammy. The trio dives deep into the chaotic and often hilarious world of modern dating, relationships, and the influence of social media. This episode offers an unfiltered look at their personal experiences, challenges, and insights, providing listeners with both humorous anecdotes and thoughtful perspectives.

Reconnecting and Recent Adventures [01:17 - 03:09] Hallie begins by recounting her recent escapades, including an intense bar crawl in Boston that resulted in unexpected relationship dynamics.

• Hallie (02:00): "I did a bar crawl yesterday. It was chaotic to say the least, but it was fun."

Graydon reflects on their past adventures, mentioning their time in Aruba and Tahoe, and the challenges they faced during those trips.

• Graydon (02:27): "We haven't seen each other since we went to Aruba."

Understanding 'Dickmatized' and Relationship Obsessed Behavior [03:09 - 05:04] Hallie introduces the term "dickmatized," describing the obsession that can come with engaging in satisfying sexual relationships.

• Hallie (03:37): "I would do it again."
• Graydon (04:17): "So, like, if you don't get the dick? Do you ever get obsessed before you get the dick?"

They discuss the emotional impacts of sexual satisfaction on personal behavior and relationships, highlighting the fine line between enjoyment and obsession.

Social Media's Impact on Dating [08:44 - 10:30] The conversation shifts to the complexities of dating in the age of social media. Hallie and Graydon explore how online presence can obscure intentions.

• Hallie (09:05): "When did men become clout chasers?"
• Graydon (09:36): "If you're following everybody in the space, it's telling a story."

They debate whether following numerous influencers and acquaintances is a red flag or simply a sign of being well-connected, emphasizing the difficulty in discerning genuine interest from opportunistic intentions.

The Epidemic of Settling in Relationships [12:17 - 13:24] Hallie and Graydon discuss the societal pressure to settle in relationships, especially as individuals reach their late twenties.

• Graydon (12:35): "I would never settle. I'd rather be broke and alone."
• Hallie (13:08): "People are settling. It's an epidemic."

They critique the rush towards commitment and marriage, advocating for personal fulfillment over societal expectations.

Perspectives on OnlyFans and Public Personas [39:36 - 41:37] The episode delves into the controversial topic of OnlyFans, exploring its role in modern dating and personal branding.

• Graydon (40:59): "I could see you dating an Only Fan star."
• Hallie (40:26): "I don't think I have the assets, respect to people that can do that."

They weigh the benefits and drawbacks of using platforms like OnlyFans, discussing how it affects perceptions of authenticity and trust in potential partners.

Reflections on Past Relationships and Friendships [26:17 - 34:35] Sammy joins the conversation, providing a male perspective on maintaining friendships with exes and navigating the complexities of past relationships.

• Sammy (30:37): "Listen, you have to listen to the red flags early on."
• Hallie (32:07): "I always think about longevity with everything."

They emphasize the importance of recognizing red flags and valuing long-term compatibility over fleeting connections.

Family Influences and Personal Growth [37:01 - 39:58] The discussion turns to family dynamics, particularly how parental expectations and influences shape personal relationships and career choices.

• Sammy (37:09): "I'm like, constantly, like, almost like, taking notes on the guy every day."
• Hallie (38:00): "My dad keeps being like, he has to be tan."

They explore the tensions between personal desires and familial expectations, highlighting the challenges of establishing individuality.

Upcoming Plans and Closing Remarks [44:00 - 45:46] As the episode nears its end, Hallie announces plans for an upcoming trip to Miami, expressing excitement about new adventures and the anticipated chaos of spring break.

• Halle (44:19): "I'm looking forward to this summer. I need to be on a daddy's yacht."
• Sammy (44:21): "I'll be there. Should be fun. I'm excited."

The trio wraps up by reinforcing the bond between them and teasing future episodes with recurring appearances from Graydon and Sammy.

Conclusion This episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder offers a candid and entertaining exploration of modern dating dilemmas, the influence of social media, and the nuances of personal relationships. Through shared stories and insightful dialogue, Hallie, Graydon, and Sammy provide listeners with a relatable and humorous take on navigating love and life in the digital age.

Notable Quotes:

• Graydon (01:11): "I will never settle. I'd rather be broke and alone."
• Hallie (03:37): "I would be the worst version of myself when I'm dick matized."
• Sammy (30:37): "You have to listen to the red flags early on."
• Hallie (38:00): "My dad keeps being like, he has to be tan."

Transcript

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[Halle]

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[Graydon]

I will never settle. I'd rather be broke and alone. I would never settle.

[Halle]

I would rather be alone, but preferably not broke. We're happy little. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, guys, I am back with a very special, sexy little man. Well, he's not very little. He's very tall.

[Graydon]

Actually, I'm a big boy. Graydon is back on the casting couch. We are here in Boston.

[Halle]

This literally is a casting couch in.

[Graydon]

The formal living room.

[Halle]

I know. We are at my family home right now in Boston. I did a bar crawl yesterday. It was chaotic to say the least, but it was fun. It was fun, like seeing all the Boston girls. The Boston girls really popped off and showed out. I had girls coming up to me being like, I let my boyfriend like have anal with me because of you. And I was like literally holding their hands being like, oh, so much to me. Thank you so much.

[Graydon]

How's your hole?

[Halle]

How's your hole? How's your gaping hole? Put some Vaseline on that shit. Anyways, me and Graydon haven't seen each other in probably two months.

[Graydon]

We haven't seen each other since we went to Aruba.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

Or no Tahoe. And then so the Last episode I was on, I fell asleep because I was like, so hungover and the altitude was like, so insane. So today I'm not going to fall asleep.

[Halle]

Like, that was insane that you fell asleep. And I was honestly a little offended. But we got over it.

[Graydon]

Yeah, you're fine.

[Halle]

So we obviously have, like, lots to catch up on because a lot of time has passed and I've been on a fucking tear. I've been on a bender. I've been the worst version of myself lately. And I'm not proud of it, but, like, would do it again.

[Graydon]

You would call me like last week and I'm like, oh, what are you doing? I'm like, literally snuggled in bed like a little burrito, just like waiting for my food to come that I ordered. And she's like freaking out, like, yelling that she wants to go out. And she's like, nobody will go out with me. And I'm like, baby, it's a Tuesday night.

[Halle]

Like, the freakiest shit happens on Tuesday. I had a couple late nights too. I had two like eight AMERS with a man in my bed. It was a pretty interesting week actually, but a successful one at most.

[Graydon]

You know what, I commend you for that.

[Halle]

But now I'm like, dick matized. And I'm like a little bit concerned because whenever I get dick matize, I'm like the worst version of myself.

[Graydon]

In what sense do you want to elaborate?

[Halle]

Like, when I get good dick, okay. I lose sight of reality and anything that's real. Like, I get like low key obsessed for like a minute.

[Graydon]

And then like, what if you don't get the dick? Do you ever get obsessed before you get the dick?

[Halle]

I think the longer I go without getting dick, the less I miss it. Which you would think it'd be the opposite. But like, if I get good dick, I like, need it the next day.

[Graydon]

Yeah.

[Halle]

So that's what dickmatized is. It should be. Or in the dictionary or somewhere.

[Graydon]

It's probably on Urban Dictionary.

[Halle]

Do you get dick?

[Graydon]

Well, I'm like celibate. So, like, I'm really picky. So I obviously, you know, I like haven't in like 24 years. Not actually, but no. I get crushes and then those kind of take over my life.

[Halle]

Update me on what's happened recently. I want to. I want to hear the Tootsie Roll story.

[Graydon]

You want to hear Tootsie? Okay. So Graydon got tootsied in Aspen.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

If you don't know what tootsie does, it's a term one of My friends made up because one time this guy tried to me in the ass. But my aunt. I closed it for business. Like, nothing usually goes in there.

[Halle]

I think I got to see last Wednesday.

[Graydon]

Yeah, it did.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

But, like, it didn't go. So Tootsie is when they flip you over, they're just poke. They're poking the back door, but the back door is closed for business.

[Halle]

Were you just clenching super hard?

[Graydon]

I was dead fishing on my side, just being like, okay, that's not gonna go in. Like, it's literally closed.

[Halle]

Were you clenching, like, how does that.

[Graydon]

Yeah. To bounce the dick off like a trampoline. But he didn't get the hint, so he kept poking. That's called tootsieing.

[Halle]

Okay.

[Graydon]

When they tootsie you. My friend made that up because that's happened to me before. So that was a huge waste of my time. I guess the altitude just did something to me. I got a drink with this guy in the hotel, and then next thing you know, he flipped me over and tried to put it in my back door.

[Halle]

Did you suck him sideways into fruition?

[Graydon]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah. Did he suck you sideways into fruition?

[Graydon]

Yeah. Not as much as me, though.

[Halle]

Really?

[Graydon]

Yeah. It's sad.

[Halle]

You were the sucker. I feel like you're a sucker, McGee. Low key.

[Graydon]

I was in high school.

[Halle]

You were?

[Graydon]

Yeah, it was like my talent trick.

[Halle]

I used to give really bad head in high school, which I guess is a good thing. I was so innocent. But I remember my boyfriend being like, you give really bad head. And I was like, I haven't. Like, what do you even practice on?

[Graydon]

You just have to keep sucking until you're a pro. Well, so now I can't even brush my teeth without gagging. So, like, I'm not a big sucker anymore, but I used to be a Dyson fucking Vacuum in high school, which nobody knows. Like, it's very secretive. Football team, the hockey team, lacrosse team. Swimmers.

[Halle]

Swimmers?

[Graydon]

Mm. I think there was a golfer. Yeah, every sport.

[Halle]

My nickname in college was the human vacuum. And I don't think it was, like, drug related. I could have been drug related, but I think it was sucking related. But, like, don't tell my college boyfriend that. But yeah.

[Graydon]

Not the Town Bike. People didn't call you the Town Bike.

[Halle]

No one called me the Town Bike. I feel like that's more for guys.

[Graydon]

Oh, because they're the ones getting ridden.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[Halle]

I was the town bike.

[Graydon]

Rider.

[Halle]

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[Halle]

Let's just talk about dating with a social media presence. Like you never know if like someone wants to like hook up with you or go on a date with you because of like. Like when did men become clout chasers?

[Graydon]

So I in my, in my experience a lot of people like want to hang out with me. I found to get to Halle.

[Halle]

Really?

[Graydon]

Yeah. Like a lot of guys are like straight men are like they'll have a. I'll be having a convers like both. A lot of gays. You never put me on cuz you're mine. I'm not sharing you. Oh and well if they were like hot obviously I would but like I'm, I'd be having conversations with guys whether I'm like talking to them or just like people I meet and somehow in the conversation you come up and to me that's when I know that their intentions are like they want to hang out with like who I'm hanging out with because like we're fun. Like people want to have fun. Whatever.

[Halle]

Exactly. Do you ever. So this is what I've been doing recently and I feel like it's super telling about someone and I'm sure like girls do this too just like with any guy like go through their following list and See what people they're following, what influencers they're following, what creators they're following. And I feel like that is a telltale. Like it's a telltale sign of where their head's at.

[Graydon]

That'll tell the story. And I did. I ignored that a couple re in the last person I talked to recently cuz I knew the follow the, the people he was following. It was like a lot like sometimes people follow like a catalog of people on social media.

[Halle]

Is that a red flag or is that just like oh, they just follow everyone.

[Graydon]

I think it gets to a point where like, okay, if you're following everybody in the space, it's telling a story.

[Halle]

You know, fall like 3, 000 people. Like.

[Graydon]

Yeah. Or even over like two like 2000's crazy.

[Halle]

I looked at like a guy's following not too long ago and like followed pretty much everyone I know in this space. And I was like, ah. But we chose to ignore. Yeah, I just think it's difficult because you just like never know someone's intentions. Intentions are super important.

[Graydon]

Like keep in mind Halle and I have only been doing social media for like two years, so I feel like we're both lear as we go. I don't know, it's weird. I can't imagine the people who've been doing social media for like so long and like what their take would be on it. But I feel like people usually have good intentions but it's always like there's always a bad bunch.

[Halle]

Like I don't want to a fan. I do not want to a fan. I feel like that's weird.

[Graydon]

But then some you sometimes you don't know if they're a fan.

[Halle]

Well, I just would prefer someone that had very limited social media, someone that wasn't in the social media space. Someone that just didn't give a about having a presence online would be ideal in an ideal world if they like, if I was like, do you know so and so. And they were like, I have no idea who that is. That's a green flag to me.

[Graydon]

Yeah. You'd be like, take your dick out right now.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Halle]

To sum this up, dating in the space is a little like we, we're navigating. Like you said, we're new in this. We're new. We're virgin.

[Graydon]

We're not virgins. We're green.

[Halle]

We're green.

[Graydon]

We are green. So it's a journey and we will get through it together.

[Halle]

You need to get laid though.

[Graydon]

You're telling me I'm too picky.

[Halle]

You're too picky.

[Graydon]

But what am I gonna pigeonhole?

[Halle]

Yourself.

[Graydon]

What's that?

[Halle]

You, like, put yourself. You take. You eliminate a bunch of candidates because they're ugly. I watched a guy ask you out last night that.

[Graydon]

Callie, if you think I would ever go on a date, like, that's not my type.

[Halle]

No, but the guy I sent you is so cute, and you said no.

[Graydon]

I mean, I'm not opposed. Did I say no?

[Halle]

No, you didn't say no.

[Graydon]

I think I said, I don't know. I just have a very. I'm picky, and I'm not gonna stoop down to, like, not being picky and just to get some dick, because then I'll just feel guilty after, and I'll feel dirty.

[Halle]

No, I feel like a lot of people do that, too. They just feel like they need to settle. And I. I'm. We're so against that.

[Graydon]

I will never settle. I' be broke and alone. I would never settle.

[Halle]

I would rather be alone, but preferably not broke.

[Graydon]

I'd rather. Well, it depends how much money.

[Halle]

They'd rather be broke in a loan than settle for, like, a little less.

[Graydon]

Than having people be, like, oh, great, and settled. Yeah.

[Sammy]

Okay.

[Graydon]

I don't want to be a settler. This isn't 1920.

[Halle]

I know. We're in, like, a subtle era. Like, not. No, not like a subtle era, but we're in a settle society.

[Graydon]

People are settling.

[Halle]

People are settling. It's an epidemic.

[Graydon]

It's a epidemic Pandemic. It's a pandemic.

[Halle]

Everyone settles feeling. I feel like when they reach the age of 27, 28, 29, they're like, oh, I need a serious boyfriend. I need to live with my boyfriend.

[Graydon]

Like, marriage and marriage and everyone wants to get married.

[Halle]

Why do you want to, like, rush, like, being, like, not taking, like, yours?

[Graydon]

Me, like, actually hot thinking, oh, my God, can everybody stop getting married? It's so expensive. Nobody wants to go to 12 weddings in a year. Thank you.

[Halle]

Yeah. I had two friends that had babies last week, and I was like, like.

[Graydon]

No, dude, I met my friend's baby. So cute, right? But, like, I. I just can't. I don't think I can do it.

[Halle]

No. I don't think we're built for that yet. I like when I have a kid, when I'm, like, 35, I'm gonna freeze my eggs probably in two years.

[Graydon]

Someone in my family had a kid when they were, like, I think in their 50s. Their first kid. But, like, she lived her life, and then she had a kid. I don't know.

[Halle]

Don't you want to just like live your life like your 20s is your only time you can be selfish about anyone else besides your self figuring it out for yourself. Like, do you really know who you are?

[Graydon]

No.

[Halle]

Do you want to figure that out with a yapping man by your side?

[Graydon]

No.

[Halle]

No, you don't. Live it up. Take that trip to Miami. Go on vacation. Go on Sandra Fe. Go on the random yacht with the random old man that you don't know that has deep ass pockets. Do all that while you suck the dick. Suck the dick.

[Graydon]

Don't put it in your pistol because then you'll get pregnant.

[Halle]

Get an iud. Get the strongest one they have on market.

[Graydon]

Yes.

[Halle]

Get health insurance. Put it to use responsibly. Responsibly. Don't get hit by a car.

[Graydon]

Car. Or a bus.

[Halle]

Or a bus.

[Graydon]

Or a boat. I got hit by four boats.

[Halle]

What? What?

[Graydon]

I've been in four boating accidents. You know that. Hallie, I swear, I tell this stuff and she doesn't listen. You don't know that. I've been hit in the face by a boat three times. And then the fourth time my brother ran me over in a boat.

[Halle]

If you're telling me anything while we're having a cocktail, just consider it.

[Graydon]

Well, that's every time we hang out.

[Halle]

No, consider it a memory washed. I had Alex. When I went to her house in la, I. I asked her to show me her closet like 5 times, 19 times. She started like, like being like, I can't tell if you're. I can't tell if you're with me.

[Graydon]

Well, weren't you actually blacked out?

[Halle]

I was so blacked out. Yeah, but it builds character.

[Graydon]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Okay. So, yeah, now that we're on the topic of like ages and shit, I got there is two guys that approached me at the bar this weekend in Boston. We were at Loco and they're like giving me the whole schmooze in the rundown. And I could just tell by this men's ax spray, you know, cologne scent. He smelled like a locker room. No. Well, like a locker room combined with like car diffuser. So I was like, I already know how old this guy is. He's probably 22 to 25, which is too young for me. The youngest I will go right now is my age, which is 27. So this guy was like, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay, how old are you? And he's like, I'm 23. And he goes, how old are you? Which by the Way you don't ask lady at the club. And I was like, I'm 27. And he looks at me and he's dead serious. He goes, oof, sugar mama. Off I go, what?

[Graydon]

This was yesterday.

[Halle]

This was two nights ago. And he goes, oof, sugar mama. I go, yeah, babe, this is not.

[Sammy]

Going to work out.

[Halle]

And then our second guy did it to me the same thing, being like, ooh, cougar. What if I was a sugar mom? I could see myself being like a cougar, though, in like my 30s, late 30s, if I'm still single. Yeah, I would love to be a sugar mama.

[Graydon]

Like, actually support men financially.

[Halle]

Like, just like, be super rich and successful on my own.

[Graydon]

Yeah, okay, okay.

[Halle]

And like, have just like all these, like, guys that are a little bit younger than me flocking after me and then me being like, all right, I'll like, pay for your flight here. Yeah, that would be like a power trip for me. You know, people used to think I was an escort because they used to go to Vegas on, like, this one guy's pj, like an older man, but I was never him. Like, he was like, hooking up with, like, hookers that we bring home from the strip club. But I wasn't hooking up with him. But everyone on social media, because Instagram is not a safe space. Everyone that I grew up with and went to college with, it was like, oh, Hal's whoring out to go to.

[Graydon]

Vegas on the pj.

[Halle]

On the pj.

[Graydon]

Well, everybody assumes you got on a private plane. The only way to get on a private plane is to. Or suck. But I think if you're just a nice person, you have a good personality, it takes you a long way.

[Halle]

I mean, that's a little bit naive, I would say. You have to have, like a nice rack too.

[Graydon]

Yeah. Like, obviously you can't be beaten.

[Halle]

No, you can't be beatiana. You have to be Kantiana to get on a pj. But a nice rack goes a long way.

[Graydon]

Yeah, Just something for the person to.

[Halle]

Look at and just, like being fun, like going out and just like being like a good personality, I feel like, also goes a long way. They don't want some aggravated aggie ass bitches on a PJ with them. They just want people to just, like.

[Graydon]

Go with the flow, like, personality, fun.

[Halle]

So if you want to get on a pj, just be like a good time.

[Graydon]

Speaking of time. And take your tits out.

[Halle]

Yeah, fine. Be all, pick me. Be like, pick me, old man to take me on the pj. I feel like that's the only way to get it on one. Speaking of private planes, I'm just so looking forward to this summer. I feel like I need a spicy margarita in my hand or a glass of ros? And I need to be on a daddy's yacht. I want to get myself on a yacht this summer. All summer, amongst the daddies that run amok through the streets of Nantucket in the Hamptons. That's what I want. I'm manifesting that for this summer.

[Graydon]

Amen.

[Halle]

I want you to have your own daddy era.

[Graydon]

I know I did for a little.

[Halle]

Tell me about it.

[Graydon]

So this was on the Keep a couple. This was on the Cape a couple summers ago, and I hooked up with this guy who's in his 30s. He wasn't too old, but he was, like, hot. He had tattoos. Whatever. So we have sex on the beach, right? Whatever.

[Halle]

Oh, my God. Never on the beach. That's how you get a UTI.

[Graydon]

Okay. I don't think guys get UTIs, to be honest.

[Halle]

That's how they die of old age.

[Graydon]

What?

[Halle]

Guys die?

[Graydon]

Oh, my God, you're right. Because my friend's Grandpa was, like, 95, and he had to get his dick circumcised because he kept getting UTIs. So sad. RIP. You're right. UT. He was getting UTIs. I remember.

[Halle]

All right, continue. Paint the picture of this man.

[Graydon]

This man was tattooed. He had golden, beautiful skin. It was, like, the peak of the summer. We fucked on the beach. Not the most comfortable. Anyway, we get to talking. I like this man, and he lived close to where I live on the Cape. And we got to talking the days after, and I come to find out that this man was my childhood babysitter.

[Halle]

No.

[Graydon]

And I was like. Honestly, I didn't really care. I thought it was, like, really hot. But I tell this story a lot, and I'm like, oh, I fucked my babysitter. And everyone's like, what do you mean you fucked your babysitter? And I was like, don't worry. Like, I was, like, of age. Like, I wasn't, like, seven. Like, everyone thinks I was like. Anyway, that's sick and twisted. Anyway, so I find out that this man was my childhood babysitter.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

So hot. And then he. He was married the whole time. I didn't even know he was married. And I had, like, a crush on him.

[Halle]

He was married. And he bent you over like a little Tootsie Roll and poked it in you.

[Graydon]

No, he didn't fuck me. I fucked him.

[Halle]

I forgot you're a top?

[Graydon]

No.

[Halle]

How tall was he? I think you kind of have to be.

[Graydon]

I think he was 6 foot or 6. 1. Okay, so not tiny, but like average.

[Halle]

People probably thought you were two flopping seals on the beach.

[Graydon]

No, literally, it probably looked like a whale, like washed on shore and like the whaley to seal or something and they were bumping uglies. But anyway, he was married. It's so sad. It's like a tragic, like.

[Halle]

Did you like him? Did you have crush on him?

[Graydon]

I did, yeah.

[Halle]

Do you like get a crush with every single person you sleep with? Because I was talking about this recently with someone.

[Graydon]

No.

[Halle]

We're like, I will only get a crush if one, the dick is good. And two, he has good sense of humor. And three, if he is smart in any capacity. And I feel like being witty and funny is a symptom of being smart. So if they're funny, I usually just assume they're smart. But if a man is dumb as rocks, I cannot. That is like my. Where I draw the line. He could be the most beautiful. This has happened recently too. I've hooked up with the most beautiful, gorgeous, on paper, beautiful man. But this man is the dumbest person I've ever crossed paths with my whole entire life.

[Graydon]

I get if somebody's not smart, like book smart, but like, if you don't even have simple logic, like.

[Halle]

Like this man would like, probably not look both ways before crossing the street.

[Graydon]

Yeah. He'd be looking at the sky.

[Halle]

Yeah. Wait, cut that.

[Graydon]

Cut.

[Halle]

I'm gonna go through my email. I want to do this segment. I want to bring my brother Sammy in. Sammy is my youngest brother. He is probably one of my more favorite siblings. We just get along, we gap. It wasn't always like that. But he was kind of a pain in the ass when he was younger. But like, he's grown on me so much in few years. He's an angel. We're going to have him on and he's going to give you guys some male perspective on just random dating scenarios. And I think that'll be really funny and maybe insightful. Maybe I. He's like one of those guys where he's like, so, you know, wise beyond his years. He's only 23 years old. You're 23, right, Sammy? Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like he could give me relationship advice that I would take it to heart. Like, I don't take anything he says with a grain of salt. I take it and I write it down in my notes app and I'm like, okay. These are some wise fucking words.

[Graydon]

It's really sweet.

[Halle]

That is really nice of you to say.

[Graydon]

Sammy's a realist, so we're going to pick his brain. Or are you going to pick his brain? Am I leaving?

[Halle]

No, you're going to stay here.

[Graydon]

I want a break.

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[Graydon]

Oh, right this way.

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[Halle]

Sammy's on the pod. Yay.

[Graydon]

Sammy's here.

[Halle]

So Sammy's my youngest brother. I'm Sammy's favorite sister. Funny thing is, Sammy, me and you growing up, I feel like we butt heads a lot because I used to throw parties in the basement. Do you remember? Used to take pictures of the beer pong table. I had a really sick, like light up sick beer pong table set up in our basement. I used to throw all the parties after proms, after semi formals, pre games. I mean it was safe because you couldn't really park here. So it was like everyone would uber to my house and like there was no drunk driving.

[Sammy]

True.

[Halle]

Yeah. It was a safe bet.

[Sammy]

Yeah. I mean, I was like a 12 year old that just wanted to play Xbox, so.

[Halle]

Remember when those two people were hooking up in your bed? Do you remember that?

[Sammy]

What was that in high school?

[Halle]

Yeah. Yeah. There was something that happened up there.

[Sammy]

Yeah, yeah, I do.

[Halle]

And I think you whipped out a bat or something.

[Sammy]

I don't know about that, but I definitely probably lost my mind somehow.

[Halle]

Sammy used to take a picture of the beer pong table and send him pictures in a good shot to my parents.

[Graydon]

You're a little snitchy.

[Sammy]

He was a little bit. You're like 12. I know, like chills.

[Halle]

But I was like Be cool, bro.

[Graydon]

I forgot.

[Sammy]

And then I kind of, like, learned to kind of do that.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

You know, to be cool.

[Halle]

It was a little learning, but anyways, Sammy has become a great, amazing friend of mine. I want both your opinions on these, by the way. Like, I want. I want your outlook on it.

[Sammy]

All right.

[Halle]

All right. Can you be friends with an example?

[Sammy]

Yeah, I think so.

[Halle]

Are you friends with any of your exes?

[Sammy]

I'd say I'm friendly with my. With my exes.

[Graydon]

But you're not, like, hanging out.

[Sammy]

No.

[Graydon]

No.

[Halle]

I don't get how people do that.

[Graydon]

I mean, you can be friends with your ex, but I feel like you'd be. You'd have to be friends who fuck, you know?

[Halle]

No, I feel like once you, like, cross that line.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Halle]

It's hard to, like, undo it. I don't get people that are friends with their ex. I think it makes no sense. I think it's, like, forced, and I think it's extremely. Pick me. It's like, oh, we're like. We're different. We could be friends with each other because, like, don't care as much unless.

[Graydon]

You have kids together.

[Halle]

It's just a slippery slope when feelings are involved.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Halle]

I feel like your two past relationships, the breakups were, like, not terrible.

[Sammy]

Yeah. I mean, the first one was, like a high school relationship.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

I was, like, pretty young. I mean, the second one, that was a little different. A little different scenario, but stickier, you know?

[Halle]

What's your take? What's your take on situationships?

[Sammy]

I don't know. I haven't really had a ton.

[Halle]

You're very picky.

[Graydon]

I feel like you don't have time for a situation show.

[Sammy]

Yeah, I just. I don't know. Especially recently, like, ever since I graduated from school and been so busy doing things and, like, trying to find work.

[Halle]

And I also feel like you don't with the head games that situation shifts and probably offer you.

[Sammy]

I don't know. No, I just, like. Yeah, I haven't really.

[Halle]

Do you play. Do you play mind games with girls?

[Sammy]

No, I'm really straightforward.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

Maybe Even straightforward. Straightforward. Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

I feel like I might be.

[Halle]

I don't know. I feel like I would rather someone tell me how it is. Like, remember that when that freak of the week back in September sent me that long paragraph detailing why you didn't like me? I just never replied. And that was the last time we spoke.

[Graydon]

That was too straightforward.

[Halle]

It was too straightforward.

[Graydon]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Ignorance is bliss. But also, like, don't lead me on. It's hard to find like an in between.

[Sammy]

Those are sticky situations though, because I feel like it's better to be upfront to someone about how you actually feel rather than just like start to ghost and like, you know, completely go like dry on them.

[Halle]

What do you think about a girl texting a guy first? I think it's definitely to hang out, to do anything.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Halle]

In the beginning stages of a relationship.

[Sammy]

I think the guy should text first.

[Halle]

Why?

[Sammy]

I don't know. I mean, I feel like I'm. I'm so old fashioned in a way. I feel like it just like makes.

[Graydon]

The most, like, that's how it has been and that's how it should stay.

[Sammy]

How it always should be. It's like kind of how it always has been. I mean, it's not weird if the girl text first or do you like. I wouldn't be thrown off by.

[Halle]

Do you think of them last? You're like, who's this? Does it come off needy or like.

[Sammy]

Think of them last?

[Halle]

Would you like, be like.

[Sammy]

It'd be fine. Like, a lot of people are busy and like, doing things and you know, like. But in my experience, I think just personally that the guy should, you know, initiate all things at first. I mean, if you're dating, it's one thing like, yeah, you know, text whenever.

[Halle]

But would you consider yourself a texter in general?

[Graydon]

Are you like facetimer?

[Sammy]

I mean, recently I've been getting into like. Oh at least like with my friends, I get so lazy to text. So I'll like send voice memos.

[Halle]

Voice memos are big.

[Graydon]

Yeah, I love voice memos.

[Sammy]

It's just a lot easier now. I love one of my friends does it. So I started doing it. But yeah, I would say I text a decent amount. I stopped using Snapchat though. Like full time. I've been like, kind of off that.

[Halle]

I've kind of been back in a Snapchat era.

[Graydon]

Wait, so I like, I love Snapchat and I'll always love Snapchat. So I'm going to be like 80 years old.

[Halle]

I have like a streak with a few people.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Halle]

And I'm 27. No, it's dangerous.

[Sammy]

Yeah. I have no streaks. I don't really use it at all anymore. I just like use it for group chats pretty much. Much.

[Halle]

Now this girl is wondering why did a guy who kissed me, misled me and friend zoned me. Girl, I don't think you even need a male perspective on this.

[Graydon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sammy]

There are some guys out there that are like that, you know, they'll do that, but just got to take it on the chin. Just turn.

[Graydon]

Have you ever done that character?

[Halle]

Have you ever kissed a girl and then just ghosted her? Have you ever ghosted someone?

[Sammy]

Like fully, completely ghosted?

[Graydon]

Yeah, like out of the blue.

[Halle]

Like this girl really thought you liked her and like in the new world and you just dipped.

[Sammy]

I mean, there's definitely been times like you said earlier, like, and it's true, like, I am a very picky person with everything in my life, you know, like relationships, I feel like just who I surround myself with in, in general. But yeah, I think I wouldn't say I've like fully just like ignored every text after like talking for like, you know, a few weeks, whatever. But there's like, you know, there's three sides to every story. I feel like. Yeah, you know. Yeah, both sides. And then the truth.

[Halle]

What makes you ghost someone or lose interest? Like when, when do you decide like that she's not it? Is there like, I don't know, certain things that give you the ick?

[Sammy]

I think just. Yeah, well, yeah, I don't know. Something that I've learned at least in like my, you know, with my last relationship and just in general, and this is no shot at anyone, but I think something big that I tell people all the time is to listen to the red flags early on when you first talk to someone and like, if you like them, like, yeah, don't look for the red flags, but listen to them.

[Graydon]

We were just talking about this kind.

[Halle]

Of don't look but listen. They're different for everyone.

[Sammy]

It depends. Like, it just, it's more of just like what you look for in a person. You know, some people's red flags are different than others, I think. You know, for me, I'm someone who's very routine oriented and I live my life like, you know who I am. Like, I live my life a certain way, like, probably a lot differently than a lot of other people. But yeah, I would just, you know, if there's something that like kind of comes up and bothers you, like, and you know it's going to be a long term issue down the line, it's going to affect you then, you know, you kind of have to know when to, you know, rip the band aid and is it big enough to cost, you know, your, the whole thing and.

[Halle]

You don't like it doesn't mean that person's a bad person.

[Sammy]

No, not at all. That's not what I'm saying.

[Halle]

But you never want to make someone feel like they have to change, to like fit you or vice versa.

[Sammy]

It just like you're doing them a favor and you're also doing yourself a favor. It's just not going to work out.

[Halle]

Yeah. You think about longevity.

[Sammy]

Yeah, exactly. I always think about longevity with everything.

[Graydon]

So the long term investment.

[Sammy]

Exactly. And relationships are. They are. It's like the. One of the biggest commitments you could possibly do.

[Halle]

And I always say dating is like interviewing, but like, I mean, it kind of is. Like I went on a date the other week and I felt like I was in a interview, like if I had to bring a resume. Yeah, but your resume is like social media.

[Sammy]

Yeah. I mean, what you do is cool, but like. Yeah, I get that. No, yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

[Halle]

I mean, do you think I have bad taste in men?

[Sammy]

I think you've definitely come across a couple bad apples who have not treated you the best, at least in my brother's perspective, that, you know, I didn't appreciate. But, you know, I think overall the guys that, you know, I've usually met that, you know, you've brought home have been good guys. Whether they stayed for two years or for two hours, you know, they seem to be decent guys.

[Halle]

Some of them are funny.

[Sammy]

Yeah, a lot of them are funny.

[Halle]

Has any. Have I ever, like, brought a guy, like, around you guys that you were like, oh, you should have given that guy another chance. Like, he's a nice guy, but I wanted nothing to do with him.

[Sammy]

Well, there's one of your exes, you know, that I really love.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

And I hold it like a sweet spot in my heart for him. He's a great guy.

[Graydon]

Do you still talk?

[Sammy]

Yeah, we still communicate to this day.

[Graydon]

You do?

[Sammy]

Yeah, like here and there.

[Halle]

But he's kind of a weird freak. Which one second.

[Sammy]

But again, back to my last point. Like, the synergies didn't make sense long term.

[Halle]

No.

[Sammy]

Yeah, like he, like, he's a great person and it just didn't work out. It's just too good.

[Graydon]

Is he the one? Is this the one who cheated on you?

[Halle]

They all did.

[Graydon]

Oh.

[Halle]

I think me and him, like, kind of towards the end, I wouldn't even.

[Sammy]

So I didn't know this.

[Halle]

Yeah. I mean, like, he got with this.

[Graydon]

Looking when he went that.

[Sammy]

Yeah, scratch that. It's on site.

[Halle]

When I see him, this person asks, do men actually feel things, Emotions?

[Sammy]

I think everyone does.

[Graydon]

I can answer this too, because I'm a man at the end of the day.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

We have emotions. You're a little sensitive, right?

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Graydon]

To Certain things, like, you're in tune with your feelings.

[Sammy]

I feel self aware and I'm in control.

[Graydon]

Yeah, like, you're not. You're not, like, stoic.

[Halle]

I'm so out of control of my emotions.

[Sammy]

I don't know.

[Halle]

I'm a mess, bro. Am I a mess when it comes to relationships?

[Graydon]

Aren't we all?

[Sammy]

I just think, like, you're in a spot in your life where a relationship doesn't necessarily make that much sense for you. You travel every weekend. You're constantly doing things.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

You know, like, I feel like it just doesn't make sense for you to commit to someone else in a serious manner.

[Halle]

No, I agree. But, like, when am I gonna, like, stop?

[Sammy]

I don't know. I feel like maybe you're still, like, kind of, like. I feel like, new.

[Halle]

I know, but I feel like I'm just gonna get busier. Yeah, but you'll also, down the road, I can like, pick and choose things more, like, selectively and be able to, you know, control my schedule, like, a little bit better.

[Sammy]

Yeah, I mean, like, you see, like, with Alex and Matt, like, shout out Alex and Matt. By the way, I love them, but no, you see, like, they have an amazing relationship and, you know, Alex has figured out a way to kind of, you know, work her schedule out and she's always on the go. I mean, talk about someone who's constantly doing things and. Yeah, you know, like, they're together a lot.

[Halle]

Yeah. They're partners in life and.

[Sammy]

Yeah, like. Yeah, exactly. Well, but still, like, yeah, you know, they have an amazing relationship. And, you know, that's kind of one that, you know, I feel like a lot of people should not model themselves after, but, you know, aspire for if you're doing something like what you do, like, that's what it should look like, I think. You know, I was, like, talking to mom about it one time, and, like, when I was in season, I would, like, call you sometimes, like to check in, and you'd be like, 90 hours ahead, like, in Australia, like, with, like, at a Travis Scott concert or something. And I'm like, oh, geez, I didn't know you were doing that.

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[Graydon]

Oh, right this way.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

Who, me? I can stream shows at at 30,000ft, and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

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[Halle]

How do you think you're more like mom and dad in ways like, where do you get, you know, what I'm trying to ask? Like, how are you like dad and how are you like Mom?

[Sammy]

Well, I'm a little bit of both, I think. I'm definitely 50. 50, I guess. You know, my heart and, like, just the way I, you know, think it's important to treat people nicely and, you know, not that dad doesn't, but I really think that, you know, I get a lot of that from Mom. Just kind of. That, like, you know, sympathetic kind of attribute I have, I guess, to other people. And, you know, the. The kind of softness, if you will, I think, from dad, you know, I just. I don't know. Dad has an interesting story and, like, you know, he. We see him, like, on these videos and he's hilarious, but, you know, he's. He's a. A whole other person kind of at times when you, like, really get to know the guy. And, you know, he's like my role model, you know, like, I aspire to be everything like my dad. And, you know, you know that.

[Halle]

And he's a grinder.

[Sammy]

Yeah, he's. He's a grinder. And, you know, like, I'm, like, constantly, like, almost like, taking notes on the guy every day. Like, I just want to be every.

[Halle]

Bit of him and social anxiety fears him. I want to have the mom. But my dad keeps being like, he.

[Sammy]

Has to be tan.

[Halle]

He has to be tan. He goes, show me the contract. I'm like, there's no being serious. He's like, show me the contract. I'm like, what contract are you talking about?

[Sammy]

That's who he is.

[Graydon]

You're like, you're my dad.

[Halle]

I'm like, does he think he's gonna get paid?

[Sammy]

Listen, he's funny and he can bring some. He can bring the heat, but I just don't think he understands how this works, you know, this is so new to him, too.

[Halle]

He Wants so badly to, like, know what the. Is going on with what I do.

[Sammy]

Well, he's funny because he loves to read, like, the Wall Street Journal, and he'll see something about, like, Only Fans, and he'll be like, how? We have to get on this. We have to attack this. He take advantage of this space now. And I just don't think he knows what it is or how it works. And, like, no.

[Halle]

Like, a couple years ago, he texted me and goes, are you on Only Fans? You should get on Only Fans. It's booming. And I was like, dad, did you do any research on what Only Fans is as, like, an entity? Like, he had no idea. And I was like, you basically sell your nudes. Yeah, but for him, he's probably like, a check is a check.

[Graydon]

I mean, like, he's like, do it.

[Halle]

Yeah. What do you. What if you write a flag if a girl you were seeing had only fans?

[Sammy]

100.

[Halle]

Yeah, that's probably where I would draw the line.

[Sammy]

Yeah. I mean, like, again, to each of their own. Go ahead and do it. But like I said in me personally, like, I just. I couldn't do it. Like, I couldn't. It's. It's way too public, you know, I like to, you know, keep things like that.

[Graydon]

Like, you know, like a girl's.

[Sammy]

Well, just like, you're like, yeah, like, you know, anything along those lines. Yeah, I mean, I just. I couldn't do it. You know, I obviously. Like, we know some people who do, but, yeah, you know, and that's fine. But I just, you know, in my personal opinion, and not experience, but opinion, you know, I couldn't do it.

[Halle]

I don't think, personally I would do Only Fans. I don't know if I have the assets, respect to people that can do that and do do that. But for me, no. And I don't know. I mean, if I were to come across a guy that does Only Fans, I don't know how I'd feel about it. That. That's never happened to me.

[Graydon]

Well, let's discuss the tiers of Only Fans, because sometimes aren't they, like, not showing anything?

[Halle]

Well, like, sometimes they're, like, cooking and, like, some people, like, have, like, smoke sessions.

[Sammy]

Who's paying for that?

[Graydon]

Yeah, like, do people pay for that? Are they naked, though?

[Halle]

Unless you don't want oil to splash on places you don't want oil.

[Graydon]

Well, obviously, they're wearing, like. No, I'm not saying just the cookie. I am saying, like, does everybody on Onlyfans show their.

[Halle]

No, I think definitely Tears to it. I think you can, like, be as telling as you want, but I feel like that will go into how many subscribers you have, right?

[Graydon]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah. I feel like you kind of gotta.

[Sammy]

They make crazy money.

[Graydon]

Yeah. That's why. That's why I'm about to say, I think I would date one.

[Halle]

Have you seen. I could see you dating an Only Fan star.

[Graydon]

Yeah, maybe.

[Halle]

Yeah. Because they make. Have you seen the Bob House on Tick Tock?

[Graydon]

But the girls, the guys don't make that much.

[Halle]

The girls make so much money, they're.

[Graydon]

Making, like three to five mil a month.

[Sammy]

See, like, articles on Twitter and they're, like, crushing it so far.

[Halle]

I think her name's Sophie Ryan. I think she made, like, $45 million last year. She's, like, 19.

[Sammy]

Yeah. I mean, the big ones, obviously. Corona cough.

[Halle]

She's on Only Fans. Yeah.

[Graydon]

She makes a lot dollars.

[Halle]

I just like. I mean, the money sounds really nice. Green, why don't you start? Only Fans.

[Graydon]

I'm flattered you think I would ever get paid on that.

[Halle]

You would. Do you know any people would pay to see that Dingling?

[Graydon]

No, my jingling staying in my pants. But, like, I mean, if somebody. If a guy had. If a Guy was making 3 to 5 million dollars a month on Only Fans, would I consider dating him? 100%.

[Halle]

You would be, like, private, not secret.

[Graydon]

Yeah. Nobody would know.

[Halle]

Well, Sammy, who do you think Graydon should, like, go for? Like, like, as a type of guy?

[Sammy]

I don't know.

[Graydon]

He already told me yesterday.

[Sammy]

I gave you an opinion.

[Graydon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Halle]

Let's repeat the opinion for the people.

[Sammy]

What did I say again?

[Graydon]

What was a certain person.

[Sammy]

All right. Yeah, but that dude is the man. I literally said to him. I was like, like, why not? He's the man.

[Halle]

Is he not your type?

[Graydon]

No. Well, I was telling Sammy, like, my type is very. I don't. I don't have a type. Like, I don't know my type until the person's in front of me. And then, like, my type changes to that person.

[Sammy]

I agree.

[Halle]

I'm the same one.

[Graydon]

You know what I mean?

[Halle]

I've liked. I'm like, more attracted to the person. Not.

[Graydon]

Yeah, Like, I don't have a type. Like, I like blondes. I like Italians. I like everything.

[Sammy]

Yeah, I'm the same. What do you have, like, a blonde.

[Graydon]

Over until it slaps me in the face at all.

[Halle]

Do some guys do strictly blonde, strictly brunettes?

[Sammy]

Yeah, 100.

[Halle]

But I feel like, like, a 10 out of 10 brunette versus like a 10 out of 10 blonde.

[Sammy]

I feel like if you were to ask a majority of, you know, guys that if, like, blonde or brunette, like, they would have a preference. I actually do think that that is so true. I mean, I don't know.

[Halle]

Like, I don't think it matters really that much.

[Sammy]

No, brother. So many people that are, like, drop dead gorgeous with brunette, blonde.

[Halle]

Like, how's dating been in Boston? Or just like, the girl, the scene in Boston. How has it been?

[Sammy]

Yeah, I mean, I haven't really been. Like, I've only been home from. From college since mid November, so I've. And, you know, I haven't really been going out too much, so I guess it's fine, you know, like, everyone's, you know, I love the city. Like, I love the people of Boston. Like, I just don't, you know, like I said earlier, I've just been so busy doing other things. Like, I haven't really been focusing on that too much, you know.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

I haven't gone on any dates in Boston in a while anyways.

[Halle]

Well, next week, we are all going to Miami. I think by the time this episode comes out, we're gonna be in Miami Unwell Weekend spring break, which is gonna be chaos in the most beautiful way. Sammy's gonna make an appearance.

[Sammy]

I'll be there. I'll be there. Should be fun. I'm excited.

[Halle]

You should get a base.

[Sammy]

First time in Miami.

[Halle]

Really? You've never been?

[Sammy]

Never What? No. I did the whole Fort Lauderdale thing years ago, like, every college kid.

[Halle]

But are you gonna, like, let your hair loose? Like, you don't really drink that much. You get a drink in this?

[Sammy]

Yeah, yeah, we're. I mean, we're gonna get you drunk. Obviously. I'm. I plan this trip a while to go with you guys, and then my friends, you know, are also going, so we're going to be doing stuff with them. And, you know, there's going to be a ton of people that we know down there, so we're going to have fun. I'm excited for this weekend.

[Halle]

I feel like you should extend your trip and just rip it with the spring breakers. Yeah, I know spring break in Miami has. They put, like, laws and regulations on it because it's gotten so fudgeing crazy and out of hand.

[Graydon]

Well, they've shut it down. They've put curfews out.

[Sammy]

Yeah, it should be fun. I'm excited. You know, first time, you know, we got some good, good plans ready to.

[Halle]

Go, and I think we should podcast there. This. This will not be Sammy's last time on the Extra Dirty Podcast. It definitely won't be Graydon's last time on the Extra Dirty Podcast.

[Graydon]

I felt good to be back.

[Halle]

Yeah, but I feel like we could like wrap up now and just say thank you all. Thank you both for coming on, doing this with me. I'm a little over, but as always, you can Watch us on YouTube. You can listen on every other platform, like subscribe, leave a comment, do all the good things. But anyways, I love you all so very much. And goodbye.

[Graydon]

Bye. See you in Miami.

[Halle]

See you in Miami. Say bye, Sam.

[Sammy]

Oh, bye. Bye everyone.

[Halle]

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Mario's Bistro.

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[Sammy]

Perfect.

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[Sammy]

Hey, can I get your number? Oh.

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