Ghosting etiquette, faking Os, & bribery

Summary

Podcast Summary: Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder – Episode: Ghosting Etiquette, Faking Os, & Bribery

Episode Overview In this vibrant and unfiltered episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, host Hallie Batchelder delves into the intricate dynamics of modern dating, addressing topics such as ghosting etiquette, the complexities of faking orgasms, and the curious notion of bribery within social settings. Joined by her loyal best friends, Lauren Fishbein and Graydon Cutler, Hallie offers candid insights, hilarious anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions that resonate with anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of relationships in today’s world.

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1. Am I the Asshole? – Relationship Dynamics

Timestamp: 01:13 – 05:07

The episode kicks off with a listener submission titled "Am I the Asshole?" where a woman questions whether she’s in the wrong for not wanting her boyfriend to relocate to another country. The dilemma revolves around her impending graduation and move to take over the family business, juxtaposed with her boyfriend’s reluctance to move, fearing a power imbalance.

Notable Quotes:

• Halle (01:42): "Am I the asshole for not wanting my boyfriend to move countries for me?"
• Lauren (04:11): "Girl, give him a job. Give him a spot at the company."

The trio debates the fairness and underlying motives, ultimately suggesting that the woman might be prioritizing her career and personal growth at the expense of the relationship. They humorously critique her stance, with Lauren boldly stating, “I think she's a higher caliber man,” highlighting potential red flags in her reasoning.

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2. Hallie's Weekend Escapades & Club Drama

Timestamp: 07:24 – 12:14

Hallie shares her weekend adventures, including a night out at Catchy Shooby and an unexpected experience at Beyond the Pale restaurant. She narrates an unsettling encounter with a restaurant host who exhibited inappropriate behavior, hinting at bribery to secure their reservation.

Notable Quotes:

• Halle (08:02): "Halle ended up staying. Lauren and I went to our reservation."
• Lauren (10:33): "We're like, you are too ravishing, young ladies."

The friends laugh over the bizarre request from the host, who not only mistreated them but also made unwanted propositions after accepting a bribe. Liv and Lauren commend Hallie for handling the situation with grace, while also poking fun at the absurdity of the encounter.

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3. Dealing with Unwanted Texts & Ghosting

Timestamp: 15:46 – 23:17

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Hallie recounting received texts from ex-boyfriends, questioning her romantic intentions. She analyzes the texts' content, pointing out their insincerity and the problematic nature of such communications.

Notable Quotes:

• Halle (18:35): "So this is a text I received from that weird freak I was fucking back in September."
• Lauren (23:14): "He was so not chill. Like, so not cool. Like, bro, relax."

The discussion emphasizes the importance of clear boundaries and the pitfalls of mixed signals in relationships. The friends advocate for direct communication over passive behaviors like ghosting, highlighting how ambiguous texts can lead to unnecessary confusion and emotional turmoil.

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4. Scenarios and Dating Questions

Timestamp: 32:27 – 44:53

In an interactive segment, Hallie presents various dating scenarios, inviting Liv and Lauren to weigh in with their perspectives. Topics range from dealing with unusual behaviors in potential partners to navigating the complexities of modern dating etiquette.

Notable Scenarios & Responses:

• Scenario: “He's perfect in every way. But he calls his mom 'mommy' out loud in public. Would you still date him?”
  Response (Liv, 32:46): "I would make him stop."

• Scenario: “After you sleep together, he adds you on Snapchat. How do you feel?”
  Response (Halle, 41:33): "This would give me the ick."

These exchanges are marked by humor and practical advice, offering listeners relatable insights into handling awkward or uncomfortable situations in dating.

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5. Who's More Likely To? – Fun and Games

Timestamp: 47:01 – 58:00

The friends engage in a lively game of "Who's More Likely To," posing humorous and revealing questions that showcase their personalities and camaraderie. Questions range from playful jabs like leaving a credit card at the bar to more intimate ones such as faking orgasms.

Notable Interactions:

• Question: “Who's most likely to fake an orgasm just to get the pizza faster?”
  Response (Halle, 53:06): "I mean, sometimes I fake them just to get the point across."

• Question: “Who's most likely to have a screentime over 10 hours a day?”
  Response (Halle, 58:07): "My daily average is 20 hours and 46 minutes of screen time..."

These moments are filled with laughter and honest admissions, providing an entertaining glimpse into their daily lives and the dynamics of their friendship.

---

6. Reflections and Closing Thoughts

Timestamp: 58:00 – End

As the episode winds down, Hallie and her friends reflect on the conversations they've had, reinforcing themes of self-awareness, emotional health, and the importance of genuine connections. They reiterate their commitment to sharing their unfiltered experiences, encouraging listeners to embrace honesty in their personal lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Halle (59:58): "So, like, easy to, like, romanticize. Like, oh, like, well, maybe when we go on dates, this guy will be the guest. Best guy ever..."
• Lauren (62:10): "My best friends ever."

The episode concludes with warm farewells and a reminder to tune in next week for more candid discussions and personal stories.

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Conclusion This episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder masterfully intertwines humor with heartfelt conversations, offering listeners a relatable and engaging exploration of modern relationship challenges. Through personal anecdotes, interactive segments, and genuine friendship dynamics, Hallie and her friends create a space where unfiltered dialogue thrives, making it a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of love and friendship in the digital age.

Transcript

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[Halle]

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[Halle]

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[Halle]

Who is most likely to give unique and thoughtful compliments?

[Liv]

Me.

[Halle]

Low key. I think me.

[Lauren]

I was gonna say me. What up, you little.

[Halle]

Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York.

[Liv]

Guys.

[Halle]

I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. I'm here with Liv and Lauren again. We're back on the couch. We have a lot to talk about today, but I thought we'd start off with. I thought we'd start off the episode with a submission. I'm gonna read this dm. I got to you guys and then I want your opinion on it. No. Yes. Yes. Hallie.

[Liv]

Okay, this mic still feels like. Like I feel like we're all just.

[Lauren]

Wait.

[Liv]

I can't.

[Lauren]

Guys, can I tell you something?

[Liv]

I can't.

[Lauren]

The mic is, like, intimidating me. I feel like it's gonna attack me.

[Liv]

I was gonna, like, have a panic attack about the bike.

[Lauren]

You're gonna look over him and be like, sucking on it.

[Liv]

Oh, I'm just gonna wait.

[Halle]

What?

[Liv]

Doesn't sound very careful. Let's start over.

[Halle]

Okay, let me. No. Okay, we're not starting over. All right, I'm gonna read this. Guys. It's like an Am I the submission.

[Lauren]

Oh, good one.

[Halle]

Okay. And I want your guys's opinion. Okay. Okay. For Extra Dirty, am I the. For not wanting my boyfriend to move countries from me. I feel like you can relate to this one.

[Liv]

For not.

[Lauren]

Am I not.

[Halle]

Wait, wait, no, I'm not done. That's just the beginning sentence.

[Lauren]

I'm already a massive paragraph. I'm already lost.

[Liv]

Me and liver trying to. We're like, together.

[Lauren]

All right, let's you go. Am I. Not.

[Liv]

Not the dude that. All right, let me start.

[Halle]

Oh, yeah, hold on. Am I the for not wanting my boyfriend to move countries for me? So here's the deal. I'm in college, and I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. He's kind, smart, and all around great. The plot twist is, in six months, I'm graduating, going back home to take over the family business. Okay, Queen.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Halle]

Subtle, weird flex. I'm generally excited and have always known this would be my dream job. My boyfriend, however, is from a different country. I don't want to ask him to move for me because that feels selfish. I also, if he does come, I'll definitely be the breadwinner. He's well off, but I'd basically be turning.

[Liv]

He's well off, but I'm going to be so much richer it's insane. I almost just peed my pants.

[Halle]

Guys, we had to get through this episode.

[Lauren]

I'm hammering.

[Liv]

There's no way you picked this.

[Halle]

No, I didn't. I feel like Marshall picks it up.

[Liv]

Okay, Marshall.

[Halle]

All right, he's well off, but I'd basically be turning into a sugar mom. He's well off, but I would basically be turning.

[Lauren]

Guys, we can't do.

[Liv]

Okay, I'll definitely go. Also, he's well off, but I'd basically be turning into a sugar mama with a boardroom. And the idea of him twiddling his thumbs while it. While I work gives me the ick.

[Lauren]

Girl, give him a job. Give him a spot at the company. So like, to fly him out and give him housing and a job.

[Halle]

So AI 401k. This is the worst.

[Liv]

So am I you've ever had. This might be the best. Okay, so am I the for loving my boyfriend below key, not wanting him to move for me because I'll be uncomfortable with the power imbalance?

[Lauren]

It doesn't sound like you're that uncomfortable with it.

[Halle]

No, it sounds like you just hate him. Honestly, it sounds like this guy is just not it. She's like Loki, making up excuses why she doesn't want him to move while she girl bosses.

[Lauren]

I think she's a higher caliber man.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

She'll be like.

[Halle]

I'll still be like, why can't he get a a successful job, too? Like, why is she the automatic breadwinner? Just because she has a job set up right after college and he doesn't. Yeah, I didn't have a job. So let him college.

[Lauren]

Let him cook.

[Halle]

Let him cook it.

[Lauren]

Not actually. Maybe not actually cook yeah.

[Liv]

So she is the. Then I wouldn't.

[Halle]

I wouldn't say you're not an. Can I say that? Marshall, I think she might be the asshole in this position.

[Lauren]

I'm gonna say something crazy. Say it from the second line. I knew she was the asshole.

[Halle]

And.

[Lauren]

And I say that with love.

[Halle]

Yeah, but, like, he's kind, smart, and all around great. Those are the qualities she pointed out right off the bat. If he's. I don't know. It sounds like he's okay to be honest.

[Lauren]

Wait, guys, this does not sound okay. Like, she's on him. She hates him. She's like, he's poor, broke. I. I'm gonna be. I'm the breadwinner. I don't want you like, CEO. Girl boss.

[Liv]

She love it.

[Halle]

Oh, I see what you did there.

[Liv]

She.

[Halle]

Yo, what a play on words on this Monday eve.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but I don't think you two. The stars are not aligning.

[Halle]

I think you want to girl boss and leave him in the rear view. That's how I feel about that.

[Lauren]

Wait, I just had a giggle attack and I, like, actually peed my pants.

[Halle]

Like, I feel hammered. I feel drunk right now with you guys. You just made me feel drunk on life.

[Lauren]

That's true love.

[Liv]

That's what we do, guys. We get together and we just giggle.

[Halle]

I kind of. Can I talk about my weekend?

[Liv]

Yeah, please.

[Lauren]

Wait, before we start, I just want to say, Lauren, you look beautiful.

[Halle]

Wait, you do. Really ravishing in this light.

[Lauren]

You're my sister.

[Liv]

I love you more. You're so kind. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Halle]

We're exuding kindness in today's episode. This episode is brought to you by kindness and spreading kindness to others and not spreading STDs, because that's bad. Also, speaking of STDs, I did go to urgent care the other day and get my blood drawn. And while I was there, I was like, might as well get a little pappy. And I am free. I tested negative. Thank you. I would like to thank the Academy even productions copy. Yeah, I honestly did not know what to like, you know, you never know with these men. And they're dirty ass dicks. You never know. No.

[Liv]

No.

[Lauren]

We're like, I hate that for you.

[Halle]

Anyways, I am clear. So, yeah, that's a good thing. But this weekend, I at gospel. You guys didn't go out with me all weekend.

[Lauren]

H. You had a weekend.

[Liv]

Did we go out with you on Friday?

[Lauren]

We had dinner plans. And then. Hi. Like, didn't hie wanted to stay at the bar?

[Halle]

Well, I do really like that bar.

[Lauren]

So then me and Lauren were granny.

[Halle]

I'm kind of getting sick of our regular program and I get it. I didn't have a reason to leave beyond the Pale. Also, I feel like your story of what happened for the reservation, like, it fell through. I didn't really miss anything.

[Liv]

That is so funny.

[Lauren]

Oh my.

[Liv]

That story is so funny. And I really wish you experienced it.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you didn't like miss anything groundbreaking, but like, you were there. It just would have made it more funny with the picture. Okay, so Lauren and I leave beyond the Pale. We were all at beyond the Pale, all three of us having a great time.

[Halle]

Lauren wants you to have dinner at beyond the Pill.

[Liv]

I was ready. I was hungry.

[Halle]

Yeah, she was hungry.

[Liv]

Honestly, I can see them having really good food. And then one of these nights I will test it out.

[Lauren]

We will die for Lauren.

[Liv]

I'm sure that.

[Lauren]

Yeah, like mozzarella sticks. Chicken tendies. Yeah.

[Halle]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Anyway, so Lauren and I leave Halle. Like a lot of our other friends were there. Halle ended up staying. Lauren and I went to our reservation.

[Halle]

I had a great night.

[Lauren]

Our reservation was at 10:30. We showed up at 10:30 on the dot. We're like, hey, we're here, Whatever. And the second we walk down to the host stand, he's giving us so much attitude and throwing shade. It was really crazy. He's like, listen ladies. He's like, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you right now. I'm like, wait, but we have a reservation. Like, he was acting like we just walked in. Weren't like asking.

[Halle]

It was, it's literally a member.

[Lauren]

And he's, he's like.

[Liv]

And we've been there where they like kick us out. Cuz there's a 10:30.

[Lauren]

So like, he's like, I'm going to have to see what I can do. And we're like, well, I don't really know what that means. Like we have a reservation. He's like, I'm going to need you to go step over there. He's like, literally pointing to the corner. He's like, go step over there. And you wait. We're like, we're just going to go wait in the bigger room. Our friends are probably in there. Whatever. So we see a couple of Lauren's friends. We have a drink with them. 20 minutes goes by. We're like, let's go check on our table. We go back, we check. He's like, ladies, already. I'm not ready for you. I would have come and got you. We're like, okay, how much longer? And I look at the girl. He's like, about 10 minutes. And I look at the girl. She goes.

[Halle]

And I'm like, this is where blowjob becomes, like, a powerful.

[Lauren]

All right, Lauren, let's go back out into the dining room. We find our other friends. We sit down. Now, at this point, Lauren and I are eating our friends food because we're so hungry, drinking their drinks.

[Halle]

Yeah, it was really sounding like a homeless person at the Cumbers Club.

[Liv]

Yeah. Surprised we were allowed in.

[Lauren]

Okay, wait. I'm like, miles, you're gonna eat that bread. He's like, well, I'm like, thank you.

[Liv]

Yeah. I was like, miles, like, pretend. Pretend you're my agent. Go and talk to the man.

[Lauren]

We were just trying to pull strings that we didn't have. Have a grasp on. So anyway, we're sitting with these guys, and one of them is like, listen, I know that host. You gotta pay him off if you want him to respect you, basically. So Lauren's like, I feel like if you.

[Halle]

If you were a man, he would have respected you more.

[Lauren]

100%. 100%.

[Liv]

But I think also good guys slip him money.

[Lauren]

So Lauren had cash on her. She pulls out, thank you, Mom. $200. Thank you, Nina.

[Liv]

And L looks at me. She goes, is that yours?

[Lauren]

I know. I go, where did that come from?

[Liv]

I'm like, you're right, it's my mom.

[Lauren]

No, I. I just. Just like, where did that come from? I didn't know you carry, like, that much cash on you. So hur. So Lauren slips it to him. She goes, I'm Lauren. This is Liv. I go, hi, I'm live. He goes. And Lauren's like, please don't forget us next time. Like, just remember our faces. Lauren, live. Lauren live. And he goes, you are too ravishing, young ladies. We're like, what? He's like, two beautiful, exquisite young ladies.

[Liv]

We're like, to keep beautiful women waiting. You're like, what just happened?

[Lauren]

We're like, you did just wait.

[Halle]

He starts going down on you, right?

[Lauren]

Yeah, no, it seemed that way.

[Halle]

He gets to his knees.

[Lauren]

One minute. He's summoning us to a corner for an hour and a half. Keep in mind, got our table at 11:50. He's summoning us to the corner for an hour and a half. Lauren slips him a little bit of cash, and he's like, I want to have sexual relations with both. Like, what beautiful women.

[Liv]

We were like, what the is going on?

[Lauren]

Anyway, we got our table and I. We haven't gone back. So I guess we'll see if he. If he.

[Liv]

He was like, I'm going to make a note.

[Lauren]

I was like, yeah, you did say that you. Lauren, honestly, you made that note.

[Halle]

God, we should have waited to see.

[Lauren]

If he like, well, we want to watch you make the note.

[Liv]

What's the note?

[Lauren]

Yeah, what's the.

[Liv]

Definitely had you definitely, like, waited to check how much I gave him the note.

[Lauren]

The note. Ravishing, beautiful young women, but ask my.

[Liv]

Mom for cash every month just to slip into him. Mom, I need.

[Lauren]

Mom, rent has gone up.

[Halle]

Yeah, you're giving him.

[Liv]

Rent is due.

[Lauren]

Mom, rent is due.

[Halle]

Rent is due. Guys, the things I would do for rent right now.

[Liv]

So that was our night. And I have yet to hear about your night.

[Lauren]

Foreign.

[Halle]

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[Halle]

My night was weird, actually. It was a lot of fun. We went to Catchy Shooby, which is one of my favorite clubs.

[Liv]

Right, the Jamie answer.

[Halle]

Yeah, Jamie gave Us a table. And he was amazing and sweet.

[Liv]

He was like out of the country. And we were texting him for a table last weekend and he wasn't answering. We were like blowing his phone up. Like, literally sad faces, crying faces angry.

[Halle]

Like, I'm not in the country. We also went to jeans. Then we went to Emilio's. Like, we were out until like 5am.

[Liv]

Wait, you went to Emilio's? Like, for dinner?

[Halle]

No, like after hours.

[Liv]

Oh.

[Halle]

Like, it was our last spa. It was like the only place that was open in New York.

[Liv]

It's kind of fun.

[Halle]

Like, I like, sometimes don't want the party to end because then I have to like, go back to my apartment in lie with my thoughts.

[Lauren]

You've said that to me a few times. Whenever we're leaving and going home, you're like, I have to go be alone. And I'm like, being alone.

[Halle]

I don't like being alone because then I'm like, makes me sad. Well, like, we all live alone.

[Lauren]

We had a sleepover last week, though.

[Halle]

No, that was fun.

[Lauren]

That was fun.

[Halle]

That was.

[Lauren]

Except the next day I was like, holly, that was fun. She goes, that was weird. And I was like, what? Halle was like, yeah, I couldn't watch my show.

[Halle]

Like, I have to have a show playing at all times.

[Lauren]

But you could have.

[Liv]

You play. You play it when I'm in the room sometimes.

[Lauren]

You played it on Nantucket. I didn't mind.

[Halle]

Well, sometimes hurts my ear when I put the airpods in. Like, then my neck starts to hurt and I just got a piercing. So, like, I just like, couldn't do it.

[Lauren]

You. I'm telling you. Were you able to played it out loud and I wouldn't have mind.

[Halle]

I know, but it was a smaller bed. I don't know. I just wanted to be respectful of you.

[Lauren]

Thank you for respecting me.

[Liv]

That's. That's kindness.

[Halle]

Yeah. And then what else happened?

[Liv]

It's very kind.

[Lauren]

That's very kind.

[Halle]

I was exuding kindness that moment.

[Liv]

I used to like, beg Halle to sleep over and she never would.

[Halle]

Yeah, I still won't. Because you, like, touch me.

[Liv]

That's so not true. I would like, literally try and maybe cuddle you.

[Halle]

Like, oh. Then I got that text from that weird guy. What's up with these men sending me paragraphs? Being like, I am not looking for romantic endeavors. I'm like, what about anything I do gives off a romantic vibe ever?

[Lauren]

I don't know. I think he just like, got the wrong idea. I think from this, like, I knew him, he was in his head. And we know that.

[Halle]

Yeah, but I. We know that, like, this happened, like, seven months ago, too.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

With the other freak.

[Liv]

Both of them.

[Halle]

We can't read both the text. I honestly want to read both the text because there's so many underlying similarities that they really. They're like, the same text, but if you were like, chat gbt, Rewrite it in a different way, it would have been the same exact text.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

And I was like, oh, my God.

[Lauren]

Were they from Chat gp?

[Liv]

I was gonna say they.

[Halle]

Maybe they were.

[Liv]

They chatted.

[Halle]

The first one.

[Lauren]

Maybe the one. No, there were too many types gbt.

[Liv]

I love that. The more you get these texts, the less you let them bother you.

[Halle]

No, literally, I'm. After I got that text, I was like, wait, this is so weird and insane. And you're so weird for that because. What? Yeah, no, also, like, I have not talked about him on this podcast at all. I said I had sex once.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

God forbid I talk about sex on a sexual podcast.

[Lauren]

God forbid a girl has sex. And then.

[Halle]

And then he's like this per. And then someone. One of his friends told me, he's like, oh, someone's sending him clips. I'm like, well, guys don't watch this podcast. So a girl is sending him clips or whatever. I don't know. But, like, maybe it's like, it could be anyone.

[Lauren]

I think you should explain a little bit. Your. Your relationship with this man.

[Halle]

There was no relationship with this man.

[Lauren]

No, I don't mean literal. Like, I mean your actual relation to this man. And then the weird text you got sent, and then we can talk about how men are threatened by successful women.

[Halle]

No.

[Liv]

Like this girl.

[Halle]

No, no, like, literally, like the. Let me go. Let me go into the Grippers. Yeah, let me go into the Grippers podcast. Jordan was.

[Liv]

Who are you texting? I go the Grippers.

[Halle]

The way I screenshotted this so quickly and said it to, like, you guys, I was like, you'll have. You're gonna die. Where is this?

[Lauren]

I think the title of this episode should be the Grippers.

[Liv]

Yeah. We gave ourselves a nickname. Well, Hallie wanted a nickname.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Became the Gripper.

[Lauren]

The Gripper.

[Halle]

I want to read both the text. They're from two different guys. And then we're going to go over the similarities between both of them.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Liv]

I think that they're fine.

[Lauren]

Wait, I think we should rate them.

[Halle]

Yeah. Look, Hallie, I was going to find a better time to talk to you about this, but it seems like you're asking for an answer, so Dot. Dot. I feel like I've been straight up from the beginning with you about not being into casual things. And after this week, I realized we're not compatible in the way that I would like to be with someone I'm dating.

[Liv]

So brutal.

[Halle]

You're amazing and fun. I just feel like we should be friends. I'd love to keep in touch and obviously see each other when we're in the same city. I really hope you don't take this the wrong way.

[Liv]

See each other in the same city.

[Lauren]

No, thanks.

[Halle]

It has everything to do with what I'm looking for. Nothing to do with you. So this is a text I received from that weird actor freak I was fucking back in September.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

And honestly, I never applied to this text ever.

[Liv]

I was just like, I'm so happy you did it.

[Lauren]

So happy.

[Halle]

I was just. I was like. After I received this text, I was like, I put it all my feelings into a box that I. I just spent a week with this man. The only reason I was kind of confused is because he was in Dumois with his ex girlfriend before I even landed in New York City.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

That maybe threw me off a little bit. Rambling and like, am I crazy for like, being like, what?

[Lauren]

Well, what threw me off about it was obviously Lauren and I were getting every detail of your guy when you were in la.

[Halle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

Just was kind of giving, like, love bomb. Weird. Like, I don't know. I just. I think that text was really, really strange. I really didn't see it coming, so I did not. I think that's why it was jarring, because it was such a weird text. It wasn't because you were upset about him. It was just like, who do you even think you are sending a text like this when it's not warranted?

[Liv]

It was out of pocket. Like, I don't even think.

[Halle]

But it wasn't even like, let's date. Like, I don't want to do long distance.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

I was just more like kind of confused about the Duma thing. The Duma thing kind of threw me for.

[Liv]

I think all you said was like, oh, no.

[Halle]

I go, this is messy. Not even talking about him. I'm talking about Dumas. Cuz they can be messy sometimes. And I was like, oh, this is messy. And he's like, you don't understand their business model.

[Liv]

You're asking for an answer.

[Lauren]

He started mansplaining Dumas business model to Halle.

[Halle]

She's like, man, splaining Dumois business model to me. And I was like, wait, comprende I don't understand what you mean by that. That's so.

[Liv]

I was, like, trying to say at H's apartment. Literally, she was on her way, packing. She was packing to go to the airport. And I'm at her apartment. She gets this text. She looks at me. She's like. She looks at me. She reads it, and she puts her phone down. She's like, like, what jeans? What. What jeans are you holding?

[Lauren]

I was like, unbothered queen.

[Liv]

Are you okay?

[Halle]

I look at my phone as I'm packing with Lauren. I get, like, seven different Te. Screenshot of Dumas of this man and this girl, this beautiful. She looked snapped, too. And I was like, damn it.

[Lauren]

It was like, yeah.

[Halle]

But like, I was like, oh, Lauren, look at this. And she was like. And I was like. I put my phone down very calmly, and I was like, what other shoe options do you think I should bring? And she was like, okay, are you good? And then all of a sudden, I.

[Liv]

Gave it 10 minutes.

[Halle]

10 minutes go by. I start throwing things, packing. I'm like.

[Liv]

She's like, oh.

[Lauren]

That was how you.

[Liv]

No, she's literally like. She's like, what the. I'm like, there it is. I was waiting for that. I was like.

[Halle]

But it was also just, like. It just made my heart kind of. It was like an ego bruise. A little bit.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

But, like, I could handle, like, a little bit of an ego bruise. What was worse about that is I couldn't, like, process any of what just happened to me. I feel like. Like it was kind of blindsiding in a way. And I was like, the audacity of this man. And now I have to sit on a 15 hour flight. That sucked. But I was in first class, so it was fine.

[Liv]

And also, though I wasn't, I will say, like, okay, he never had to send that text. And it would have been like, nothing. Like, you weren't looking for anything.

[Halle]

He could have let that fizzle out. I probably would have let that fizzle out too, because he didn't live in New York.

[Lauren]

You definitely would have let it.

[Halle]

I would have just been, like, gotten distracted by other things in New York. I have adhd.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I feel like sometimes when guys do that, they can sense, like. And this might sound really delusional, but I feel like he could sense that you were kind of, like, not as into it as maybe he thought you would be. And so, because we know he has, you know, ego.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Well, he's a bit of a narcissist.

[Lauren]

But, like, honestly, I decided to end it first. He was like, I need to put an end to this before anyone else can do it to me. Like, I feel like men do that sometimes.

[Liv]

Or he just, like. I don't know. He, like, took, like, the first, like, he grasp onto the first, like, problem that you had to be like.

[Halle]

I just didn't realize that, like, sending that one text, it escalated so quickly.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

And it was almost like I was getting defensive. Yeah. It was so defensive.

[Lauren]

He was so not chill.

[Halle]

I was like, wait, you're so not chill.

[Lauren]

Like, so not chill. So not cool. Like, bro, relax. Like, literally relax.

[Halle]

Yeah. I literally. All I said was, duma is being messy. And that erupted a volcano into his.

[Lauren]

It was. It was so unfortunate that, like, it erupted onto you.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But, like, it wasn't your problem. That's a hint problem.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Not him erupting on me. All right, whatever.

[Lauren]

I don't know why.

[Liv]

How do y' all feel about, like, an anti ghost text?

[Halle]

Like an anti text. Like, he could have just ghosted me. I honestly felt like, yes, this is a blunt ass text. But. But once he sent it, I was like, done.

[Lauren]

I'm pro ghost. Unless it's her girlfriend, like, made me.

[Halle]

Be like, okay, that was like, cut and dry.

[Liv]

I don't want to be ghosted. Do you want to be ghosted? I would prefer that. Like, that would hurt. But at least you. Like, I would get the. I would get the. Because my delusional self. I'd be like, there's still a chance.

[Halle]

Yeah. I'm like, that's like me. Whatever. The past few weeks.

[Lauren]

Just give it together. I'll give him till tomorrow to text me. Three days go by. I'm giving him till the end of the year. The end of the month. I'll give him till Christmas of 2027. Ask me to dinner. We're moving on. I'm like, what?

[Liv]

Right. But like.

[Lauren]

But honestly, real.

[Liv]

But like, a text like that, like, it really just. It.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

It helps you.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Just move on.

[Halle]

Should we fast forward to the text I received this past weekend?

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Again, this helped.

[Halle]

I'm not going to read this whole thing. We just.

[Lauren]

So ridiculous.

[Halle]

I'm not trying to put this guy.

[Lauren]

On blast like, I am, but. What?

[Halle]

Like, I don't want to give this man more anxiety than here.

[Lauren]

He deals with dayto day. I walk with anxiety every day. Sorry.

[Halle]

I mean, I do too.

[Lauren]

I walk with anxiety all day. Give your anxiety to the Lord.

[Halle]

Okay, so I'll go, blah, blah. So it starts off, blah, blah, blah. I'M sorry for X, Y, and Z. I'm not purposely trying to X, Y, and Z. That being said, I'm not really in a place right now to be romantic with someone parentheses not to just assume that's what you want. So I'm just trying to be cognizant. That's a great SAT word.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Cognizant of when it comes to getting close with people. I should have been more upfront with that. I'm sorry. How many times did he say sorry in this one text? I'm sorry if that was lame of me. And I go, okay, romantic is insane.

[Lauren]

Yeah, your text back is so funny.

[Halle]

I go, okay, romantic is insane. That's an insane jump. Yeah, but. Okay, message received. He goes, sorry, maybe that was a weird word choice. I'm sorry.

[Lauren]

This man is so anxious.

[Halle]

He goes, I'm really not dodging or anything though. I promise. I go, you're weird.

[Liv]

That's it.

[Halle]

That's all I said was you're weird.

[Liv]

With perfect punctuation. I noticed that. I would have been like, your.

[Halle]

Sad I didn't join you guys last night. I feel so awful and it looks so fun. I go, goodbye. You're weird.

[Lauren]

Like, stop texting.

[Halle]

Like, what? Yeah, stop romantic. What about anything. Like, do I give off romantic vibes?

[Lauren]

Not to him. No, not to him.

[Halle]

Not to him.

[Liv]

What do you think gave that?

[Halle]

I'm trying to, like, just go off. Like, the time spent there was nothing romantic about any of our interactions. I will say that I missed a beat. I wasn't misled, though. His actions, like, okay, I wasn't misled. I wasn't misled.

[Lauren]

Give him his props.

[Halle]

Like, I wasn't misled. He really didn't do anything that wrong. In my opinion, the only thing he.

[Lauren]

Did wrong was send a weird text. Listen, I just, I. I don't even know.

[Halle]

That's literally all he did wrong was the romantic line. And now I'm just like, over it.

[Lauren]

Well, because it was kind of like me. Like, it was like uncalled for.

[Halle]

Yes. No one wanted.

[Lauren]

You were just like, hey, why are you upset with me? And he's like, I don't want any romantic.

[Halle]

I was like, wait, I didn't do X, Y and Z. And I don't want you to think I did X, Y and Z. Because I've been very careful not to do X, Y, and Z.

[Lauren]

Like, wait, I don't want anything.

[Halle]

And he's like, I do not want romance with you.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you're like, do you guys ever.

[Liv]

Feel I Feel like sometimes, like, guys.

[Halle]

Like, I'm like, who the. Do you think you are? The audacity.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

I feel like guys sometimes, in order to, like, not be like, oh, like, I'm gonna do everything to, like, not show her that I'm interested. They almost, like, fail at that when they, like when they actively try not to do that. Do you know what I mean?

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Like, there was no. Do you know what I'm trying to say?

[Halle]

There was no.

[Liv]

Instead of just being. I was like, instead of just going with the flow.

[Lauren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They. Yeah, yeah.

[Liv]

Like, but it actually misleads.

[Lauren]

Like, he could have. He could have just fizzled.

[Liv]

It could have just fizzled or, like, I don't know. I just. I feel like a lot of times I have friends that like. Like, my. Like, some of my college friends were, like, would be getting with guys that were that, like. I mean, maybe they just weren't upfront about it or they were, like, doing everything, like, taking them on dates. Like, everything that would make you think that they were interested.

[Halle]

Yeah. We didn't do any of that, though, which is why the romantic thing was insane.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Like, that was an insane.

[Lauren]

It's not like he whined and dined you.

[Halle]

Yeah. Like, such an uncalled for text. Honestly, I think more uncalled for. Thank you. The one I got from the weird freak actor months ago.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And just know there's other things that could be said. But we're leaving it.

[Halle]

Yeah. I'm gonna just choose to, like, put.

[Lauren]

A period and we're choosing peace.

[Halle]

I'm choosing peace.

[Lauren]

Holly, you should start a patreon. And, like, that's where you spill, like, the details and the actual dirt and.

[Halle]

Just start dropping names left and right.

[Lauren]

Subscribe for $20 a month to name drop.

[Halle]

I don't want to.

[Liv]

Like, My God, the. You'd be, like, a only fan.

[Halle]

I don't want to rip on anyone. But, like, also, like, everyone knows I have this podcast, and this podcast is about my life, and then people are shocked when I, like, talk about it.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

You literally knew what you got yourself into. Like, you, like, what?

[Liv]

That's true.

[Lauren]

But it's like thinking you're the exception. Like, it's not like you come on here and, like, slander everyone's names. You were just like, oh, I had an all nighter last night. And he's like.

[Liv]

What?

[Lauren]

That people might think that's about me.

[Halle]

No one gives a. I think what I said was, like, I had sex, like, all night and it was great. And I'm like, okay.

[Lauren]

If I was a man, I'd be like, thank you. That was great. Let's run it back. I wouldn't be like, you alluded to my existence on your podcast Is the.

[Halle]

Most blanket statement thing I could have said. Yeah, like, at all.

[Liv]

Well, I'm very happy that we're moving on.

[Halle]

Yeah. I'm moving on from it.

[Liv]

Yeah, I'm very. No more. No more extending one week.

[Halle]

No. No more extending one week.

[Lauren]

Week.

[Halle]

No one gets any passes anymore.

[Lauren]

In the face of adversity, we rise above.

[Halle]

Yes. I overcome. And I had a great day. After that tax was received, I kind of, like, I move on from things pretty quickly. And again, I wasn't, like, super bent out of shape over this man. But that tax helped get the ick really quick.

[Lauren]

Like, you know, I've gotten texts like that in the past. It hurts. It hurts. For a minute.

[Halle]

It didn't hurt. I was so hungover that I couldn't even really feel anything perfect.

[Liv]

Like, I got that the hangover hurt more.

[Halle]

I was, like, in bed. Like, I could barely read it, honestly. And I was like. And then I went to Cassidy Hip and had brunch, and I had my best day ever. You can't really get bent out of shape over the potential of someone. You have to, like, go off, like, fact.

[Liv]

I love that.

[Halle]

You know what I mean?

[Lauren]

That's a really good. That's a good one.

[Halle]

So, like, easy to, like, romanticize. Like, oh, like, well, maybe like, when we do go on dates, this guy will be the guest. Best guy ever did. Like, I'm not gonna get upset over, like, a guy's potential.

[Lauren]

Like, remember I used to do that about that one guy?

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

It was really crazy. I was, like, delusional. I'd be like, we're getting married.

[Liv]

Oh, well, that was just delusion.

[Halle]

Yeah. Liv.

[Liv]

Did you guys go on a date?

[Lauren]

No. So I was so bored, I just, like, clung to it.

[Liv]

I mean, I love that for you.

[Halle]

It's so much to be, like, hung up on a man with, like, I.

[Lauren]

Have a boyfriend now. That's not him, and it's not him.

[Liv]

Yeah.

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[Halle]

Okay, let's talk about. Let's do this segment. Scenarios and dating questions. Okay, so I'm gonna read the scenario and then I want your guys's take on it. He's perfect in every way. But he calls his mom mommy out loud in public. Would you still fuck?

[Liv]

I would make him stop.

[Lauren]

Like, he's perfect in every way.

[Halle]

Yeah, there's probably other ways he's imperfect and that you haven't seen yet. If he's calling his mom mommy in.

[Liv]

Public, I would make him stop.

[Halle]

Yeah, I would make him stop. Or I would stop him.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Until he's kind of like, not okay.

[Liv]

Until it's really weird. I would keep him.

[Halle]

Like, does she breastfeed him too?

[Liv]

I would keep him.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I mean, if we're talking perfect in every.

[Halle]

How rich is he?

[Liv]

Yeah, I would keep him. And I would change.

[Halle]

I would, I would change. I would fix that. Yeah, okay.

[Liv]

It could be easily fixed.

[Halle]

He takes you to dinner wherever you want, but shows up in Hoka slides in a Patagonia fleece. Are you still dating him? No, I would fix him.

[Liv]

Not in this current state. Fixable.

[Halle]

But in this economy, I don't know. Hocus lies.

[Lauren]

Fixable. But do you want to fix it?

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Liv]

This Patagonia vest means he doesn't sound very redeeming.

[Lauren]

Like, his only redeeming quality is that.

[Liv]

He could be an investment banker.

[Halle]

He sounds like a finance bro. I. I hate the finance bro style.

[Liv]

So my brother actually told me why they dress like that. Did I tell you?

[Lauren]

Yeah, you did.

[Liv]

Yeah, the offices, they keep them at a crisp 60 degrees because that's where your brain functions the best. So they all get a vest. Vest when they like.

[Halle]

But you're like a Moncler vest.

[Liv]

I think those are a little expensive for their, for their.

[Halle]

Aren't they finance rows? Shouldn't they be making the big bucks? Honestly, Hallie's asking the question, all the hard hitting questions. But I also heard that finance bros, like, can't really wear designer things, like a nice watch of things into the office for some reason. Because, like, because then it shows. Like, they're probably, like, a trust fund baby. And, like, their boss won't take them as seriously.

[Liv]

Oh.

[Halle]

Because they know their salary, that they're.

[Liv]

But then the bosses can wear the nice watches.

[Halle]

Yeah. And, like, you, like, work up to, like, being able to wear, like, those. I remember my ex, who is a finance bro. Somebody would be like, I can't wear, like, my nice shoes and my nice watch. Like, he has to wear very, like, standard level things.

[Liv]

Like, I was wearing an AP as an assistant.

[Halle]

Yeah, like that.

[Lauren]

He's like, I can't wear my Richard.

[Liv]

That one. That one went really well. Well, actually, that one did well with the other agents because they were like.

[Halle]

Yeah, you probably can't wear your Richard Millie in the mail room.

[Lauren]

I can't wear my Richard Millie to my internship.

[Liv]

Maybe that' never got out of the assistant phase there.

[Halle]

Yeah, maybe that's why didn't take me seriously.

[Lauren]

Lauren, let's just blame your AP for everything.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Yeah, it was the ap.

[Halle]

Okay, he's hot, rich, and the sex is great. I don't even know I have to continue this.

[Lauren]

That's amazing.

[Halle]

Okay, he's hot, rich, and the sex is great. But you found out he used to do couples content only fans with his ex. Do you care?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah, I don't know if I'd care. Oh, I would care.

[Lauren]

I would care a lot. It would just change the way I look at everyone. Like, I don't think. I don't think I could ever be with someone. Like, I. I don't think I would like the type of man that does that. Not to be, like, only fans.

[Liv]

Wait, couples only fans meaning?

[Lauren]

Like, like, he used to do, like, porn with his ex and it's online.

[Liv]

Well, that's like dating a porn star.

[Lauren]

It's just not my vibe that.

[Halle]

Just remind me. There's so many guys that have videos of us, but, like.

[Lauren]

Honestly, good for them.

[Halle]

I might have to send a couple.

[Lauren]

Texts after this podcast, honestly.

[Liv]

Please delete said videos.

[Halle]

Yeah, yeah. If you're watching this, because I know this is getting sent to, like, every guy that I've slept with, please delete those and then go into your deleted folder and delete those as well. You know exactly who I'm speaking to. I'm looking every camera. Thank you. But yeah, I don't know if I would have a big problem with that because, like, get your bag.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Okay, next one. You're on a second date and he shows you a nosap list of red flags. I'm actively working on Respect the self awareness or ick, ick. I think I respect the self awareness. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?

[Liv]

There are no flaws.

[Halle]

Like, if he's trying to work on them, like, maybe he has a list in his nose hat because he's in therapy and he's like, these are things I want to tackle about. Like, it's a self aware. King is a good.

[Lauren]

Is a green flag if he has other redeeming qualities. But I think at this stage, personally in my life, I don't want to be with someone who hasn't done the work yet. Like, I've done the work. I need someone who's also done the work. I don't need someone who's in the middle of doing the work because you never know which way it's gonna.

[Halle]

We're like 26 and 27.

[Liv]

I think it's dependent on how much work to do.

[Lauren]

But like, red flag in relationship. Like, that's kind of like, get on it. It fix it. Okay. Okay. You. I don't want you to deal with a man's red flags.

[Halle]

I seem to seek them out if.

[Liv]

You have a red flag.

[Halle]

And then I seem to get rejected by people I. I don't even apply to.

[Liv]

I'm just. Well, because you're picking the guys that, like, are working on. It's like they're. They're just starting to figure out what their red flags are.

[Halle]

Not to go back back to the text because we've ended that chapter. But it, like, I compare it to, like, applying, like getting rejected from a college I never applied to. Yeah, it's like, what?

[Lauren]

It's like, where did this letter come from?

[Halle]

It's like, word.

[Lauren]

Where did this Unsolicited. How did you get my address? Like, where did this come from?

[Halle]

But also, like, why don't you want me at your college?

[Lauren]

Yeah, you know, did you not see my redeeming quality?

[Halle]

Did you not see my resume? Yeah, it was like, you know, anyways, next. He lives with a roommate who is his ex, but they swear it's chill. Would you still go home with them? No, no, no.

[Lauren]

No, no. But it's like, no, no, no, thank you. Go have fun having sex with your ex.

[Halle]

I'm sure you did go up once you've.

[Lauren]

There's no way they're not.

[Halle]

Yeah. What if you're drunk and horny and it's like a Sunday and you're like.

[Lauren]

Hungover on the other side of your flex wall?

[Halle]

Exes.

[Liv]

My exes hate me.

[Halle]

Like, they would never I know, but like, hate just makes me hornier.

[Liv]

Oh, my God. They despise me.

[Lauren]

Why?

[Halle]

Your ex despise me too?

[Lauren]

One of my exes despises me. The other one texts me all the time. I'm like, can we end this? We broke up seven years ago.

[Liv]

I don't know if. I don't know if we ever told you the story, but we went to this luck now party was one time. My ex is like, never. Like, I'm never in the same room as him. Cuz he's older. We like end up at the same party, him. And I'm like, like, let's go make him uncomfortable. I'm like, yeah. And I bring Halle. We walk over to him.

[Lauren]

I'm like, I love the story.

[Liv]

Yeah. I'm like, like, this is Halle. And Halle. And I go, halle, this is. And Halle literally looks at me. Like, we're like. She looks at me. She goes, who is this? I go, holly, this is my ex boyfriend.

[Halle]

I've never heard your name before.

[Liv]

No, you said something way worse. You said something way worse. Holly goes, I was joking. Drunk. Wow. She's never talked about you. You must be really bad in bed. She said that? And he looks at me and he goes, your friend's weird.

[Lauren]

Like, that's it.

[Halle]

I know, but that's so true. Like, if I've never heard you talk about, like, how good the sex is, like, you're probably not good at sex.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Right?

[Liv]

Yeah. There's nothing to write home about.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

I learned later in life, like, in the moment, it was amazing. And then later in life, I learned that it was nothing more.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You always think it's the best.

[Liv]

The best.

[Halle]

That is so real.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Where I would be hung up on a guy and be like, I swear.

[Liv]

This ex is so good.

[Lauren]

And then I'd be like, looking back, I'm like, whoa.

[Liv]

Yeah. Like, we learned a lot.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Just know.

[Halle]

No, no, Just know. I could say a lot, but I'm not gonna say anything.

[Lauren]

Yeah, same, same.

[Liv]

That's so true though. Like, the girls are always in the moment. Like, it's the best sex of my life. Yeah.

[Halle]

Because when you're like. And cheers to someone, boyfriend, friends, when you're into someone, I feel like that makes sex better.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Because you're like, emotions are involved. And like, obviously when emotions are involved, sex is better.

[Lauren]

Everything's more fun.

[Halle]

Everything's way more fun.

[Liv]

Beginning.

[Halle]

And you, like, feel more.

[Liv]

Oh, no, it's true. It's just like in the beginning, like the. The honeymoon phase. Is the best.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

I'm really making it seem like someone.

[Halle]

Came up to me at the bar the other day and was like, oh, my God, I can't believe that story where, like, you sucked off your friend's boyfriend. And I'm like. Like, we're still talking about this.

[Liv]

People are. They're still talking. They're never gonna.

[Halle]

It's like on Memorial Day, people are gonna be blowing up my phone.

[Liv]

I was actually just thinking about it, like, thank God we're not gonna be together on Memorial Day.

[Halle]

I know. Maybe we'll do it.

[Liv]

Thank God.

[Lauren]

Maybe we'll do it. Wine weekend. One weekend is gonna go hard.

[Halle]

I'm tired in more ways than one. Yeah.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Wine makes me, like, so wet. It's insane.

[Liv]

Why? Puts me to sleep life hack. Mine literally puts me to sleep life hack.

[Lauren]

If you pour the wine on yourself, it will make you wet.

[Halle]

Okay, let's go to the next one. After you sleep together, he adds you on Snapchat. This would give me the ick. But, like, I would be, like, flattered, but, like, I'm problematic.

[Lauren]

I'd be like, wow, this is a stage of my life that I completely want to exit.

[Liv]

I'd be shocked. He still has Snapchat.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah. I don't think after. I think my next. Next conquest will not have both Snapchat or Socials.

[Lauren]

Totally.

[Liv]

I think I like that for you.

[Halle]

I give this person, like, no socials. I don't even want this man to have, like, a Social Security number. I want nothing. I want them wiped off the plane of the earth. Is that a thing?

[Liv]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

This Halle. This man does not exist.

[Lauren]

Lauren. She goes, I want him wipes off the plane of the earth.

[Liv]

Plane. Plane, yeah. There's a reason he doesn't exist.

[Lauren]

Wait, can I just say, it depends what age. Like, if you're watching this and you're like, 19, I feel like Snapchat is a normal form of communication. And, like, you're fine. Don't be, like, put off by it. But if you're, you know, 20, if you're new, I hope you're gonna be like us for the hills and block him.

[Halle]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Liv]

Yeah. I feel like Jordan's sister is using Snap. Like, they still use it all the time.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Yes.

[Halle]

Which is in college.

[Liv]

Right, Right. Give him, like, five years and they won't be.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Okay, let's go to the next one. He wants to take you on a trip, but it's a silent meditation retreat, and you can't hook up okay, what's the point?

[Liv]

I know you're going to hate that one. I think.

[Halle]

What?

[Liv]

I think.

[Halle]

That sounds like my personal H. Right.

[Liv]

I feel like that's something you do far in your relationship. Not at the beginning.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that's like, if you're having relationship problems.

[Liv]

Honestly, that's like, a lot.

[Lauren]

Sounds like a last resort.

[Halle]

Is that like an ashagu trip?

[Lauren]

Ayahuasca.

[Liv]

Ashwagandha. What is?

[Lauren]

The way Holly just said it, Ashwanda.

[Halle]

Is a gummy that makes you, like, disassociate, never mind decline.

[Liv]

I think that's. I think that's ayahuasca. Those, like, trips that those people take.

[Halle]

Yeah. Like MGK and Megan F. Yeah.

[Liv]

I think ashwagandha's like, we were, like.

[Halle]

Throwing up in the bushes.

[Liv]

Mushroom.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Liv]

Asuka, I think ash. Wait, what is ash. Wait, Ashwagandha might be, like, a form of therapy.

[Lauren]

No, ashwagandha is a gummy.

[Halle]

It's a gummy tik tok shop. Yeah, that and the gut cleanse.

[Liv]

Oh, my God. This gut cleanse.

[Halle]

Okay. He asked to manifest together before bed. Like, hold hands, candles, crystals. Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

[Lauren]

No.

[Halle]

The only thing I want to be holding before bed is your.

[Lauren]

If he's asking to, like, pray together before bed, like, that's cute. But, like, crystals. I'm scared.

[Halle]

Okay, religion.

[Liv]

I recently learned you're religious, Liv.

[Halle]

You went to church the other day by yourself, which I find very cute.

[Lauren]

I'm, like, surprised that you are just now. I will say I. I was, like, very quiet about. I think you're quiet about it. Yeah.

[Liv]

Yeah, yeah. But it's cute that you love.

[eBay Advertiser]

Thanks, Lauren.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Halle]

Okay. But, yeah, I'd probably move on from the guy that wants to hold the crystal and throw it at me.

[Lauren]

Probably next.

[Halle]

Okay, next. He refuses to have sex unless Taylor Swift is playing in the background. Always crack, gay, crack, cracky, cracky. I like, don't. You know.

[Lauren]

Because he's gay.

[Halle]

Well, gay. Yeah, he's definitely gay. That's insane.

[Lauren]

He's bi curious.

[Halle]

At least he's bi curious. More curious about the other side of the buy.

[Lauren]

The latter.

[Halle]

The latter. Which is the dick.

[Liv]

So weird. I hope there's no man out there.

[Halle]

Not bisexuality. I. We accept all but, like, the Taylor Swift playing in the background. It's very odd. Like, I don't need. Like, he. Like, I don't need. What's the song by her?

[Lauren]

Where's the trophy? Like, no.

[Halle]

Okay. He used to date your cousin. No, they never Hooked up. But still, it's in the family.

[Lauren]

They dated.

[Liv]

No, this reminds me. What's that movie that we just watched where the. The old guy dated the daughter? Oh, they never hooked up, but now he's dating them on. Yeah.

[Halle]

Yes.

[Lauren]

The Nancy Myers movie.

[Liv]

Yes. A complete.

[Lauren]

No, it's complicated.

[Liv]

It's comp. It's.

[Lauren]

I think it's.

[Liv]

I go complete unknown. Wrong one.

[Lauren]

Wrong one.

[Halle]

Close.

[Liv]

Complicated. Something.

[Lauren]

It's complicated.

[Liv]

Maybe that's just it.

[Lauren]

Such a good movie, you guys.

[Liv]

Yeah, it's kind of giving that.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Liv]

I think there's way too much that.

[Halle]

Was weird to be like, you know, I'm doing that.

[Lauren]

Like, if the cousin didn't care. And they, like, ended up just really incompatible. We're not compatible. And you think this man is like, literally the love of your life. Soul mate. Go for it. But only in after you've talked to your cousin about it.

[Liv]

I think I know this. This girl that dated this guy, ghosted him and is now dating the older brother.

[Lauren]

I feel like it's different when it's a girl. Like, girl power.

[Halle]

Girls can do whatever the they want. Loki.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

And you can just be like, I'm just a girl.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

No, I've been, like, really on my worst behavior lately. I don't know what it is. Like, I just, like, don't want to be in, like, the confines of my own apartment really. So, like, I'll text my, like, weak friends to, like, hang out. Like, you know, like, Jane always want would go out on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, because, like that. Because she can't say any either. And you guys, I feel okay texting on Thursday, Friday, you, Saturday, any day.

[Lauren]

It just doesn't always mean we're gonna show up.

[Halle]

Yeah, no, I want.

[Lauren]

I still want to respond.

[Halle]

If you're not gonna show up, we.

[Lauren]

Could, like, come over.

[Halle]

Like, I don't want you to come over.

[Lauren]

No, you could come over to mine.

[Halle]

Yeah, but, like, I want to go out and meet people.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Like, babe, this is not gonna happen overnight. Yeah, I don't even know what that meant.

[Lauren]

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Jordan]

Oh, right.

[Lauren]

This way I can stream shows at 30,000ft. And I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

[Jordan]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer at t mobile. VIP means y o u. Check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.

[Halle]

Race the rudders.

[Lauren]

Race the Sails. Race the sails.

[Halle]

Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.

[Liv]

Over.

[Lauren]

Roger, Wait.

[Jordan]

Is that an enterprise sales solution?

[Spectrum Advertiser]

Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title, and more. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started today at LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply.

[Lauren]

All right.

[Halle]

Anyways. All right, next segment. Who's more likely to.

[Liv]

Okay.

[Halle]

Who's most likely to fake a birthday at a restaurant for a free cake? Lauren.

[Liv]

I knew everyone was gonna save me.

[Halle]

Guys, Lauren loves a free thing, and she loves pr. I do.

[Liv]

It's just friends. There's something about it.

[Halle]

Remember you were showing me PR the other day, and it was like a hair. It was.

[Liv]

Oh, my God.

[Halle]

Hair ties you.

[Liv]

No, no, it was. It was. It was a hair stick. And I said yes. I said yes.

[Halle]

She gave her address, and she was.

[Liv]

Like, I can't even use it.

[Lauren]

My hair is still like a pin.

[Halle]

No, it was like a. Yeah, yeah, like a chopstick.

[Liv]

It was a chopstick.

[Lauren]

Well, that's cultural appropriation.

[Liv]

It was like a chopstick with, like, a cute, like, amber on it.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Liv]

And I said, Send me 10 of them.

[Lauren]

Lauren says, I'll take 14.

[Liv]

I can't even. My hair's too heavy to even use it. So, like, I can't even use it.

[Lauren]

71. And 10 for my friends as well.

[Liv]

Yeah. So I love a free thing.

[Lauren]

I love free things, too.

[Halle]

Okay, who's most likely to always show up in full glam? Either me or live.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Not Lauren. Not I. Lauren will go out on a Saturday night bare faced and power to you.

[Lauren]

And honestly.

[Halle]

Right now. You're not even wearing a liquid makeup right now.

[Liv]

Why do we need it?

[Halle]

Because this is gonna, like, be broadcasted.

[Liv]

You guys are so beautiful.

[Halle]

Lauren. Oh, here we go. I can't accept you guys.

[Lauren]

No, Lauren doesn't understand. Like, her eyebrows are. Her makeup. Like, literally, like.

[Halle]

Like, mine are literally drawn on with Sharpie. Like. What?

[Liv]

Wow, guys, thank you.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Liv]

That's so cool.

[Halle]

Who's most likely to leave their credit card at the bar?

[Lauren]

Holly.

[Halle]

That's not true. I only had a credit card, like, a month ago.

[Liv]

You're most likely.

[Lauren]

All right, credit.

[Halle]

I'll damage my debit card.

[Lauren]

You would lose your Apple Pay. It was possible. Like, let's be real.

[Halle]

I love Apple Pay. It's my favorite fruit. If they were to ask me, what. What's your favorite fruit?

[Liv]

I like this segment.

[Halle]

I would say Apple Pay.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I like this segment, too.

[Liv]

It's Fun.

[Halle]

Okay, who's most likely to date a dj? Oh, Halle, probably me.

[Liv]

I thought it was my most likely to be a dj.

[Lauren]

You were like, Lauren's like, give me.

[Halle]

A Lauren's like, wicked wicky.

[Lauren]

Wicked wiki.

[Liv]

Bought a Pioneer sub.

[Halle]

No, I would a dj. I would not date a dj. That's diabolical. That's insane. Unless they love bombed me into fruition. And then maybe I would date the DJ and it would be a big crash out of the century. It'd be all over the Internet, you know? Okay, next, who's most likely to ask their partner to change his outfit to match the vibe? Lauren.

[Liv]

Really?

[Lauren]

I was going to say me.

[Liv]

I was going to say live.

[Halle]

I feel like you would ask Jordan change.

[Liv]

There's no stopping him.

[Halle]

Okay, well, then I was wrong.

[Lauren]

Me is legitimately my male doll.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I tell him what to buy, and he wears it and he looks great.

[Halle]

My male doll is male doll.

[Lauren]

He. I mean, he's gonna dress him up, changed his.

[Liv]

I mean, to be fair.

[Lauren]

Lauren, Lauren, please speak to how I've influenced this.

[Liv]

I've not. This is Jordan.

[Halle]

You're an influencer.

[Liv]

Yeah, this is Jordan. Best friend of, like six plus years. Yeah, he needed it. Love you. But you needed it.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Liv]

And he got it. And now he looks great.

[Lauren]

He looks great.

[Liv]

He looks great.

[Lauren]

He's so cute.

[Liv]

Yeah. He needed it.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Next, who's most likely to have a promoter on speed dial?

[Lauren]

Halle. Bachelor.

[Halle]

Yeah, I've actually slept with a few.

[Liv]

Because usually when Halle's, like, too drunk, I can't type. We're in a group chat with the promoters that are after Hallie.

[Lauren]

Lauren's the moderator.

[Liv]

I'm the moderator.

[Lauren]

I love that.

[Halle]

You get the business, you get the deal done. Okay, who is most likely to claim a man ruined her life even though she's only talked to him for three weeks? Probably me. Marshall Production. I feel like you set me up.

[Lauren]

Regretfully, Holly, but also me.

[Liv]

Me.

[Halle]

You know, like, honestly, you do, though.

[Lauren]

Me prior this relationship. Me a thousand times over.

[Halle]

I know, but I feel like that's girlhood. Like, I would say, like, I hooked up with a guy once and I'd be like, that man ruined my.

[Lauren]

I'd like, kiss a guy and be like, I can't believe.

[Halle]

Like, I can't believe. Yeah, yeah. That's just like, word.

[Liv]

You guys are funny.

[Lauren]

But it's like, funny. It's like part of the bit. Like, it's like.

[Halle]

It's like a bit like no one's.

[Liv]

Actually ruined My life, reading everything.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Okay, who's most likely to fake an orgasm just to get the. The pizza faster?

[Liv]

Probably me.

[Lauren]

I feel like Lauren are like, you're a part of this routine and you're not leaving until it's finished.

[Liv]

Not anymore. I used to. And then I learned what a real one was and now I don't anymore.

[Halle]

I mean, sometimes I fake them just to like, get the point across.

[Liv]

If I'm not feeling it, I'll just be like, I'm good on this one. All you, though.

[Halle]

Have you ever fixed an orgasm? Actually had a real orgasm from faking it?

[Lauren]

Yes. Yes.

[Halle]

That's insane.

[Lauren]

One time. One time. Yeah, one time.

[Halle]

It's like a. It's like a. The pseudo effect makes you super excited. Yeah. It's like the sound of you, like having an orgasm makes you have your own orgasm. Yeah.

[Lauren]

And yeah, it's really crazy.

[Liv]

You make yourself horny.

[Halle]

Yeah. No, it's like a narcissistic quality I have. I'm like, wait, that sounds really hot. And then I come to myself.

[Lauren]

You're like, who is this hot girl? Oh wait, it's me.

[Liv]

Oh wait, it's me.

[Halle]

Oh wait, it's me.

[Lauren]

And now we're done.

[Halle]

That's probably why I have a mirror set up next to my bed. Am I a narcissist? No, no, no. Only on the weekends.

[Liv]

You're okay.

[Halle]

I hate myself during the week.

[Lauren]

If you were a true narcissist, like, I don't think we would be like, no, no.

[Liv]

I don't think we could get along.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Who's most likely to bring a vibrator on a weekend trip?

[Liv]

Me.

[Halle]

Live or.

[Liv]

Oh, really?

[Halle]

Or all of us.

[Liv]

All of us. I forget where. I think I brought into Nantucket and it like fell out of my bag. And you were like, what is that? And you're like, jordan's not. I was like, yeah, but I'm going to.

[Halle]

I go, your boyfriend's not even with us. It was a toy that you use with a partner.

[Liv]

Yeah, but I was like, what are you doing? It's because I was going. It was just like one of. It was just like a.

[Halle]

It was like the egg. It was like the egg.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Liv]

But she was like, I was going somewhere afterwards.

[Lauren]

And you wanted it. I wanted it totally.

[Liv]

It comes everywhere.

[Lauren]

I traveled across the world with mine twice.

[Liv]

Yeah. I always fear like, TSA is going to be like.

[Lauren]

Like, take it out. What's this?

[Liv]

That's like my dildo.

[Halle]

I'm like. Cuz she always does the carry on. We should. A massive dildo.

[Liv]

Do not fly sticks to the wall. I only fly with carry ons. Which I think is a green flag. Green flag. Well, I was going to say a testament to how well I pack and a green flag. But, like, I. So I'm always like. And it. It comes everywhere with me.

[Halle]

Who's most likely to get caught sexting at happy hour? H. Probably me. H. I love sexting, but also, like, I'll sex anywhere.

[Lauren]

I love sexting.

[Liv]

You'll take my phone and sex.

[Halle]

I'll take your phone and sex. Her boyfriend pretending it's her, obviously.

[Liv]

And he knows immediately because I just don't sex. He's like, Holly.

[Lauren]

He's like, who's.

[Halle]

You're like, hi.

[Liv]

He's like, hey, Hallie.

[Lauren]

Jordan.

[Halle]

But sexing's so fun. It's like a really. It's a great expression of, you know, creative thought.

[Liv]

I don't have that thought. Yeah, I don't have that.

[Halle]

I was in creative writing in high school, and I feel like that's when I got into it. I would write paragraphs. They have an opening argument, you know, supporting arguments.

[Liv]

People are probably like, this girl sucks in bed. I swear.

[Lauren]

Oh, you.

[Liv]

I swear.

[Halle]

No, Lauren is crazy. Recoil.

[Liv]

We've all seen us.

[Lauren]

Also, whenever I try to sext my boyfriend, he. He's just like. He's like, oh, love you, babe. Yeah, wait, see? He's like, love you, babe. I'm like, I'm bored. What is. What do you mean?

[Halle]

Yeah. Yeah. I say the most disgusting things ever, but I don't have. Then they don't talk to me anymore. Okay, Then they don't tell them who's most likely to be a boy. Mom. Lauren.

[Lauren]

Lauren.

[Liv]

Really?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Halle]

I don't know. You'll probably have a kid first anyways.

[Lauren]

Wait. I feel like Halle.

[Liv]

I feel like Halle.

[Lauren]

Halle, for sure.

[Liv]

I feel like God will punish me with all girls for how mean.

[Halle]

No, God will punish me with a girl. And then they'll listen to this podcast one day and be like, you're a slut, mom. I'll be like, listen, kids, rent was high. We lived in New York.

[Lauren]

New York.

[Liv]

Listen, kiddos.

[Halle]

Who's most likely not to respond to the group chat for days?

[Lauren]

Holly.

[Liv]

Bachelor Holly.

[Halle]

I don't respond to anyone. No one will ever get a text back from me, ever. Unless I'm making a plan to see you or I want to vent about a man that will root this day.

[Lauren]

Me and Lauren go just talk to Air in the group chat sometimes.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Actually, I've been better.

[Liv]

Talk air in general.

[Lauren]

Thanks.

[Halle]

But I'm literally usually busy on a bender.

[Lauren]

Me and Lauren are always like, hallie, Hallie. We're like, have you talked to Halle today? No. Have you talked to Hallie?

[Halle]

I'm the queen of dnd.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you are.

[Halle]

I'm always on DND and I always.

[Lauren]

Hit notify anyway, and it still doesn't go through.

[Halle]

Like, even Teddy, my agent, will, like, call me, like, on end, and he'll be like, can you get off dnd? Like, it's like, you have to, like, answer these calls during the week. And I was like, but my phone's on seat. God forbid I'm resting. He's like, It's Tuesday at 4:00pm Anyways.

[Lauren]

God forbid a girl takes a nap.

[Halle]

Who is most likely to give unique and thoughtful compliments?

[Liv]

Me.

[Halle]

Low key. I think me.

[Lauren]

I was gonna say me.

[Liv]

No joke.

[Lauren]

No joke. You guys should. We all give each other a unique and thoughtful.

[Halle]

I feel like we're all pretty good about that.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Halle]

You know?

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

Who's most likely to cry during a sappier emotional film?

[Lauren]

Me.

[Halle]

Probably not me, but I'll cry at Tik Toks even if it's like a Geico commercial. Like, it depends, like, what movement do it for her.

[Lauren]

I feel like me and Lauren cry a lot.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Halle]

I rarely cry.

[Liv]

Cry so much to my boss. It's like, such a problem.

[Halle]

She's insane.

[Liv]

Like, I don't, like, cry outside of, like, life, but I cry at work.

[Halle]

That's crazy.

[Liv]

All the time. She's like this crazy.

[Lauren]

I cry like, I cry all the time, but it lasts like 10 seconds. I just. Yeah, yeah.

[Liv]

Work just makes me cry.

[Halle]

Okay, who's most likely to buy the best gifts? Probably Lauren.

[Lauren]

Lauren Fishbine.

[Halle]

Who's most likely to have a scream time over 10 hours a day?

[Lauren]

Probably me and Halle.

[Halle]

Yeah, I sleep with my phone with the thing playing. Yeah.

[Liv]

Remember that one time?

[Halle]

Let's look at my screen time right now.

[Liv]

Remember that one?

[Lauren]

Wait, everyone pull up your screen time.

[Liv]

One of the questions I remember, like, first episode was like, what is hi. Screen time? I gave her, like, six hours for rest, and that's it. So, like 24 minus six. See, I wasn't that far off.

[Halle]

My daily average is 20 hours and 46 minutes of screen time, and I still can't.

[Liv]

1 hours.

[Halle]

And I still can't reply to a goddamn text.

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Wait, I told you guys.

[Halle]

What am I doing?

[Liv]

Two hours? See, I was right.

[Lauren]

How do you find six hour?

[Liv]

That is Three hours for rock rest. I gave you six.

[Lauren]

Mine's ten hours.

[Liv]

Wait, let's see what mine is. Where do you check?

[Halle]

That's really insane. Just type in screen time.

[Lauren]

That was, like, worse than I was expecting.

[Liv]

Mine might be bad, too. Oh, guys, what do you want to know? Mine is.

[Lauren]

What is it?

[Liv]

Take a guess.

[Halle]

Two hours.

[Liv]

Oh, it's four hours. It's four hours.

[Lauren]

Mine.

[Liv]

Which doesn't feel right because I do feel like I'm on my phone phone all the time.

[Halle]

I think mine's wrong too.

[Lauren]

Well, Lauren, you text during the. During work, you text off your computer.

[Liv]

True.

[Halle]

So, okay, who's most likely to cave and get bottle service at the club?

[Lauren]

Holly, should we bring up the video of wine weekend last year?

[Liv]

What was it?

[Lauren]

Three grand. Three grand? A dinner?

[Halle]

It was a Glado. Yeah, well, like, we can clip it and show the audience, but, like, it was insane. Okay, who's most likely to give a mic drop speech at a wedding live? And the next question is for most likely to get married first. Lauren. Lauren, we'll get engaged soon.

[Liv]

Yeah, any day now.

[Halle]

Any day now.

[Liv]

By the time this comes out, I'll be engaged.

[Halle]

Probably not, but, like, hopefully.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Halle]

Maybe.

[Liv]

Maybe.

[Halle]

And that was the end of the segment.

[Lauren]

Should we talk about the text me and Halle sent Jordan about your proposal coming up? The other night, I was. We were at a hockey game together. Lauren was at book club. She was invited, but she couldn't come. And me, I was like, holly, do you know when Jordan's gonna do it? And she was like, spoiler alert. No, we don't know. And she was like, wait, we need to text him. Holly texts in our group chat with Jordan, and she goes, holly, not you on Instagram right now. She. Did you forget you're a podcaster?

[Liv]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And she goes, jordan, we need to know when exactly you're doing this, because we're both going to be on the operating table and also flying around the globe. So we need to know exactly when this is happening.

[Halle]

Like, me and Live are getting surgery. You know, we have brand deals to do. We're. We have things really busy to do. We're busy. So I need to know, like, when to tell her. Like, maybe you should get those crusty nails done. Like, all the things.

[Lauren]

Put on some white.

[Halle]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Get the linens out.

[Liv]

I knew it. That. That's why Jordan was like, I'm not gonna. He's like, I'm not gonna tell your friends, because they're gonna call you and be like, what are you wearing you should change. Let me see your nails. I'm gonna give it away in a second.

[Halle]

I would never do that. I don't even call you in general, but, like, oh, my God. They're gonna think, yeah, I'm loving this.

[Lauren]

I'm like, honestly, keep it up. We got some pressure episode.

[Liv]

They're gonna be like, Halle is caught.

[Halle]

All the moments where I was kind of mean to Lauren.

[Lauren]

I was like, what?

[Liv]

Cut. All the moments where I was kind of mean to Laura.

[Halle]

Remember how the episode three minutes long.

[Lauren]

It's 59 seconds.

[Liv]

They're like, you have to refilm.

[Lauren]

They're like, none of this makes sense.

[Halle]

Anyways. I love you guys.

[Lauren]

Next time you see me, I will have new fake titties.

[Halle]

We both will. I still have to figure out how to, like, tell people I'm doing that. I told, like, everyone that watches extra Dirty, but I haven't told, like, my immediate family members, which is insane. So I could just be like, wait, I told my podcast and like, you don't watch it. You don't support my career. We can gaslight them.

[Lauren]

That's honestly a shape or form. Great way to go. What do you mean you didn't see it, Mother? You don't watch my job.

[Halle]

You don't watch the job. I get why she doesn't watch it, though. Yeah. But anyways, I love you guys. Love you, love you. And we should do this, like, every week.

[Lauren]

My best friends ever.

[Halle]

And I love you both. And you guys can tune in, you can watch extra dirty on YouTube, you can like, subscribe, comment, listen to it on all the platforms and yeah, I love you all. And I'll see you next week. Kisses.

[Lauren]

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[Lauren]

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[Jordan]

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[Lauren]

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