Lingerie, Labubus & No Men Summer

Summary

Podcast Summary: Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder

Episode: Lingerie, Labubus & No Men Summer
Release Date: June 12, 2025
Host: Hallie Batchelder
Guests: Lauren Fishbein & Graydon Cutler

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Introduction

In this episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, Hallie and her friends Lauren and Jordan delve into a whirlwind of personal anecdotes, relationship dynamics, social anxieties, and humorous mishaps from their lives in New York City. Skipping all advertisements and non-content segments, the trio engages in candid and unfiltered conversations that offer listeners a glimpse into their chaotic yet entertaining lives.

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Recurring Dreams and Anxiety [00:51 – 03:09]

Hallie begins by sharing a recurring dream she has about being on a ski lift in Aspen without skis, leading to existential reflections on her anxiety.

Hallie (00:51): "I have this reoccurring dream I want you to interpret for me... I'm holding on for dear life until we get to where you get off."

Jordan attempts to interpret the dream, suggesting it reflects Hallie’s underlying anxieties.

Jordan (02:23): "I think it sounds like you're anxious."

Hallie connects this dream to her current life stressors, admitting she feels perpetually on edge.

Hallie (02:38): "We were edging together for a solid hour."

---

Social Gatherings and Friend Dynamics [03:09 – 11:07]

The conversation shifts to a brunch event at Prestis, where plans to shop while waiting for a table lead to unexpected tensions.

Hallie (05:07): "You have nothing to say about my dream, or you're just going to overlook my dream?"

Jordan deflects but later narrates an incident where Hallie is hungry and becomes upset, leading to an apology and a humorous recount of their friendship dynamics.

Hallie (05:32): "Whenever I'm mad at her fiance... you're not managing my money anymore."

The episode highlights the strong bond and playful banter between friends, emphasizing their ability to navigate conflicts with humor.

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Party Stories and Social Anxiety [11:07 – 20:04]

Hallie recounts attending a high-profile influencer event at Alba, describing her social anxieties and difficulties in holding conversations.

Hallie (08:28): "I was like, disassociating... watching my conversations from like a bird's eye view."

Jordan and Hallie discuss their strategies for managing social situations, including relying on each other for support.

Jordan (09:00): "Me and Liv will, like, fill the void. We will talk."

They also touch on the pressures of being food influencers and the associated stress.

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Crane Club and Drunken Antics [20:04 – 35:25]

The trio moves on to discuss their night at Crane Club, where Hallie makes a memorable entrance amidst a crowd of models and industry insiders.

Hallie (11:53): "I'm triggered right now. And this is a Mark Marquis Skylark. This needs to get off."

Jordan shares a humorous clip of Hallie’s antics from a Connecticut celebration, showcasing her playful and uninhibited side.

Jordan (12:12): "Halle is in a full hoodie looking up at the camera, going, 'Can you see it?'"

The conversation continues with tales of dysfunctional friendships and humorous sexual encounters within their friend group, highlighting their open and unfiltered approach to discussing intimate matters.

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Relationships, Role-Playing, and Sexual Dynamics [35:25 – 46:44]

Hallie and Jordan delve into discussions about their friends' sexual lives, including role-playing and managing multiple relationships within their circle.

Hallie (19:29): "My girlfriend has a roster... she can hook up with guys she can come back to."

They explore the complexities of maintaining friendships amidst romantic entanglements, emphasizing honesty and mutual respect.

Jordan (20:36): "Shut up. These are, like, our two really good friends."

The conversation shifts to their own relationship dynamics, with playful banter about fantasies and role-playing scenarios.

Hallie (36:06): "I want you to send them."

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Upcoming Trips and No Men Summer [46:44 – 60:17]

Looking ahead, Hallie and Jordan excitedly discuss their upcoming trip to Mykonos, expressing a desire for a "No Men Summer."

Hallie (26:13): "I just really think he's... going to find a daddy in Mykonos."

They joke about their plans to let loose while maintaining certain boundaries, highlighting their humorous approach to vacationing and socializing.

Jordan (27:44): "She likes me. She's gonna guide us to take care of us."

The anticipation builds as they imagine the adventures and misadventures that await them in Europe, blending excitement with comedic foresight.

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Corporate Lingo and Workplace Humor [52:21 – 56:16]

Shifting gears, the friends humorously critique corporate jargon, with Hallie, who lacks corporate experience, struggling to understand workplace terms.

Hallie (54:02): "It’s out of my band."

Jordan explains terms like "bandwidth" and "PTO," leading to a series of laughs over their misunderstandings.

Hallie (55:07): "I'm worth more than this and I'm not doing this."

This segment showcases their ability to find humor in everyday professional language, making the content relatable to listeners navigating similar environments.

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Pop Culture Moments and Final Thoughts [56:16 – End]

The episode wraps up with discussions on the latest pop culture crazes, including a humorous take on the "Labubus" craze and their own fashion choices.

Jordan (59:37): "The craze for them is crazy."

They share anecdotes about celebrity encounters and the challenges of maintaining their public personas, blending humor with genuine reflections on fame and friendship.

Hallie (64:28): "I need to wake up the hangover cap."

In a final burst of unfiltered honesty, Hallie assigns listeners a "homework assignment" related to their weekend activities, reinforcing the show's playful and bold tone.

Hallie (64:57): "I hope everyone sucks someone off this weekend. That's everyone's homework assignment."

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Notable Quotes

• Hallie (00:51): "I have this reoccurring dream I want you to interpret for me..."
• Jordan (02:23): "I think it sounds like you're anxious."
• Hallie (05:32): "Whenever I'm mad at her fiance... you're not managing my money anymore."
• Hallie (08:28): "I was like, disassociating... watching my conversations from like a bird's eye view."
• Jordan (09:00): "Me and Liv will, like, fill the void. We will talk."
• Hallie (11:53): "I'm triggered right now. And this is a Mark Marquis Skylark. This needs to get off."
• Jordan (12:12): "Halle is in a full hoodie looking up at the camera, going, 'Can you see it?'"
• Hallie (26:13): "I just really think he's... going to find a daddy in Mykonos."
• Hallie (64:57): "I hope everyone sucks someone off this weekend. That's everyone's homework assignment."

---

Conclusion

"Lingerie, Labubus & No Men Summer" offers listeners an engaging blend of humor, candid conversations, and personal stories from Hallie and her friends. The episode navigates through dreams, social anxieties, relationship dynamics, and upcoming adventures with a refreshing honesty that embodies the spirit of the show. Whether you're tuning in with headphones on or joining for your virtual sleepover, this episode promises laughter, relatability, and a pregame vibe that's quintessentially Extra Dirty.

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For more episodes, visit Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder and follow on your favorite podcast platform.

Transcript

[Hallie Bachelder]

I just heard that FX has a new original comedy series coming out called Adults. Adults is a comedy that'll feel relatable.

[Lauren]

If you ever find humor in the struggles of being an adult in 2025.

[Hallie Bachelder]

You know, like remembering your full Social Security number or to drink water or perhaps having your third existential crisis of the month. Best part is that all episodes will be ready for your next weekend binge. Watch FX's Adults Wednesdays on FX.

[Lauren]

All episodes now streaming on Hulu.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Extra Dirty with Hallie Bachelder is brought to you by Tinder. We know that your person doesn't just fall out of the sky. I remember when I moved from Boston to New York, the I. If I had used Tinder, maybe I wouldn't be single right now. You know, Tinder. Maybe it turns into a great story. Maybe it turns into something even better. You'll never know until you match. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe down. Download the app today. Aren't we always edging? Isn't life just one big edge?

[Jordan]

Yeah, you're just edging into the next.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The final bang.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Which is death.

[Jordan]

Some morbid.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No.

[Jordan]

Jesus Christ.

[Hallie Bachelder]

What up, you little. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. I am extra hungover today. I'm here with Lauren. Yay.

[Jordan]

I go.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yay. Come on, let me back.

[Jordan]

Okay. Hi. Yay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Lauren, I have to tell you about the dream I had last night.

[Jordan]

Tell me.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I have this reoccurring dream I want you to interpret for me. So I have this dream that I'm, like, in Aspen, which is why I wore the Aspen sweater this morning. I have this dream I'm in Aspen, and I go into a ski lift. Okay. And I'm not wearing any skis, but I'm wearing full gear. And none of the ski lifts have the protector bar. And I'm always sliding off. So I'm holding on for dear life until we get to where you get off.

[Jordan]

What are you holding on?

[Hallie Bachelder]

But I never let go. Like the seat.

[Jordan]

Like. Like this.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like the seat of the chair left.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

What do you think that means?

[Jordan]

I think it sounds like you're anxious.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Honestly, I didn't think I could dream last night. I was so up at the edge. We were edging.

[Jordan]

We edged last night. Everybody, our friend group, collectively edged together for a solid hour.

[Hallie Bachelder]

So so you. You have nothing to say about my dream, or you're just going to overlook my dream?

[Jordan]

Well, I'm not a dream interpreter.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I thought you would have a lot to say about my dream, and I'm very disappointed that you could. My dream.

[Jordan]

I know a lot of things, but, like, I love that you just thought I could interpret it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I thought that was significant. Significant enough where I'd wear a sweatshirt today that said Aspen.

[Jordan]

I think. You know what I think your dream means? I think your dream means that you miss Aspen and that we have to go back.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I think it means that too.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God.

[Hallie Bachelder]

But I think I need to go back and return that ugly cape that I bought.

[Jordan]

Or it's. You have anxiety over the literal loof. What did you buy? Aloofa?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I bought a tamp. No, a tampon.

[Jordan]

It's not a tampon, but, like, it's like a looks.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, it looks like a. Like, you know those Q tips.

[Jordan]

Looks like a Q tip.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It looks like a bunch of them sewn together. It looks like something you make in art class.

[Jordan]

That was probably a better financial decision than you were trying to make. You were trying to buy 125 coat. 125, 000 coat.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And I would have done it if I had the cash on me.

[Jordan]

Yeah. So that's on. Period. Scheme of things. You probably made the better financial.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I need to, like. What if I' bipolar?

[Jordan]

I think you might be. You have bipolar tendencies.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I do. I get really manic. Whether that's, like, sexually or spending or. I stay up all nights. Oh, my God.

[Jordan]

Wait. Like, maybe, like, two months ago, we went to, like, a pastis brunch. You know what I'm gonna talk about? We pull up.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Scariest thing.

[Jordan]

When.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't know what you're gonna say.

[Jordan]

We. We pull up to this brunch. It's me, haliv, Jordan. And Halle literally, like, looks at Jordan, looks at me, and just, like, I see, like, the smile fade from her face, and she's like, like, okay. And I go in and I'm like, maybe we should shop around. She looks me, she goes, that's the worst idea you've ever had in your entire life. I was like, oh, my God.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Well, in my defense, we were waiting for a table at prestis. We had a reservation for. They were running, like, five minutes behind. So Lauren goes, let's go shopping while we wait. That makes literally no logistic sense ever. And I will die on that.

[Jordan]

Let me get to that. Let me get it. Let me get to the point. We get to the. We get to the lunch table. I don't know what it. Like. You were, like, really in a pissy mood.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I was really hungry.

[Jordan]

How? Liv goes to the bathroom, and I look at h and I go. I was like, cut this out. She goes, do you want me to apologize? And I go, yes, I would. And she goes, okay, I'm sorry.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This is your interpretation of events.

[Jordan]

Liv comes back. Hi. Is in the perfect mood ever. Like, it's like, as if you, like, got it out. And then you were like. We were, like, holding hands. Like, we were literally holding hands. Liv was like, what just happened?

[Hallie Bachelder]

You, like, need apologies, like, all the time.

[Jordan]

Sometimes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Sometimes. Sometimes. And I'm not good at delivering them. You're not.

[Jordan]

So it was just funny, the delivery of the apology.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I was, like, yelling. I was yelling the apology at her. I was like, I'm very sorry.

[Jordan]

Yeah. And Jordan was just sitting there like this, like, he, like, knew.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I was like, I'm very sorry. And you're not managing my money anymore. And don't look me in the eye. Whenever I'm mad at her fiance, which, by the way, congrats.

[Jordan]

Thanks. Yay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Whenever I'm mad at her fiance, who's also in, like, wealth management, I'm like, you're not managing my money anymore to.

[Jordan]

Like, with me or to throw me off from the engagement. I got a text from Halle and Liv at the same time. Liv goes, your. Your. Your boyfriend's a, like, annoying. And then Halle texted me, jordan's never managing my money ever again. And I. And I, like, didn't know what was going on because in all honesty, he could piss some. He could piss people off. And I got mad at him.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He will ruin.

[Jordan]

So I got mad at him. So I'm sitting there, they're all in a text group chat, like, laughing, and I'm sitting there like this at Jordan, like, what did you do to my friends?

[Hallie Bachelder]

It was brilliant to with you during this period of time.

[Jordan]

I know.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Anyways, let's go overnight. Let's start with our night, and then let's go into other things. And I have so much to talk about today. I'm so excited.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We never get to do this, me and you. We never get into Kiki on the river like this. Like, I love it.

[Jordan]

I would like to talk about you walking into Crane Club last night.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, I want to talk. Let's go before that. So you had an 8:30 dinner reservation last night. I was supposed to go to it. I'm very Bad with, like, knowing my schedule, I'm like, Lauren is kind of like my keeper of my schedule. I'll be like, lauren, what do we have to do tonight? What plans? What dinners, what events? What things do we have to do?

[Jordan]

We just do everything together. So, like, my plans are your plans.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And I also just have really good memory of your flight schedule.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, no, Lauren knows my flight schedule. Like, I. You should be on payroll at this point. One day when I can swing it. When I stop being mannequin, spending money on things I don't Q tips can't afford. Yeah. So we went to this Yasha event. Yeah. Know Jack's dining room.

[Jordan]

Yes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. So he does all those, like, food reviews, like, and he goes, like, to the sickest places.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And I'm not even like a foodie, as we all know, but, like, he goes to the sickest spots and does these reviews. It's kind of like I would compare it to like a Gen Z version of like a Michelin star. It's like his stamp of approval. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Instead of like typing it up, he tik toks.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. It's brilliant, honestly. Anyways, so we went there, it was at Alba, and we walk in and it's a caviar tasting with shots of vodka. You would have loved it because you're a Russian. So obviously I started taking shots, like caviar bumps and shots of vodka. I was kind of twisted.

[Jordan]

Can't put those in front of you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And I was like, I felt like a little off socially last night.

[Jordan]

Who was there?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I didn't expect it to be like a super heavy influencer event, which those. I usually have to, like, marinate myself a little. When I say marinate, I mean, like, you know, loosen up a little. Like maybe have a glass of wine prior. Maybe a shot of, you know, absinthe or something just before I, you know, move the room and network with my coworkers. I couldn't hold a conversation to save my life last night. And I was doing this thing where I was like, do you ever, like, get anxious? I think I was just super anxious yesterday. I was like, anxious and like, watching my conversations from like a bird's eye view. Almost like you a lot. Yes. I was like, disassociating.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I was like, thinking of what I was going to say three sentences ahead of like, the conversation I was having.

[Jordan]

Honestly, it's probably because me and live weren't there.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No. Yeah. Cuz I know Ally. I need an ally. At the function, I was talking to Mike about this If I don't have someone, I can grab. Grab their tit without them, like, flinching, like, someone nearby where I can like, be like, oh, my God, I need to get out of this conversation. Or, like, help me get into this conversation. I don't know what I'm really doing.

[Jordan]

And sometimes when you don't want to talk and I can tell that you're like, me and Liv will, like, fill the void. Like, we'll like, fill the void. Silence. We will talk.

[Hallie Bachelder]

But, like, I hate people that you can't have silence with.

[Jordan]

I know. That just like, means that we're so close.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I know.

[Jordan]

You couldn't have, like, silence last night.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I just like, there was no one I was talking to where I could like, just like, pull out my phone, be like. Which I guess is kind of rude, now that I think about it. I'm sorry if I do that to you.

[Jordan]

Just be like this.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, but like, you want to be able to, like, pull out your phone and just like, not be able to, like, you can like, check out and check back in. I know. That's what friendship is about.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I know.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's being able to do that without, like, having any qualms or like being feeling like, self conscious about it. And that's what we have working. I was working, but I wasn't anticipate to be working.

[Jordan]

Right.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It was all people in, like the food fluency industry. They're food influencers. Honestly, that's probably what was giving me anxiety.

[Jordan]

They saw your mukbangs. They were like, this girl. Yeah, they'll get. She'll get it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. I'm just out here squashing allegations. All the food allegations at a food fl. Perfect.

[Jordan]

Perfect.

[Hallie Bachelder]

But anyways, then after we went to Crane Club. Crane club.

[Jordan]

And hi made the biggest entrance of her life.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I would say the biggest.

[Jordan]

I mean, it was insane.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I have ticks, I think.

[Jordan]

Yeah, our friend and our friends, like, pick up ticks.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No. Okay. I hyper fixate on hand movements and phrases.

[Jordan]

I know what month of the year our friendship has. Like, what friendship it is. Like what month of the year it is. Because every month they have a new tick. Their new tick is.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And yeah, our tick right now is. Yeah, that was last week, though.

[Jordan]

Holly, you just said it when you sat down here.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I saw Sunny. Yeah, Sonny loves Sunny. Say it. Yeah, he loves it.

[Jordan]

And this happened. This started last weekend, right? No, sorry, this. Maybe this. We're in Nantucket for wine weekend, but last weekend you picked up a new tick. Show it. And this is how Halle Walked into Green Club. She's standing above our table. It's packed. And she goes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The room is, like, full with, like, models and people in the industry, by the way. And I'm like. And they're like, what?

[Jordan]

Like, literally. No.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And then I lean in. I'm like, wait, why did I do that? I go, that was so weird. Oh, my God. I'm triggered right now. And this is a Mark Marquis Skylark. This needs to get off.

[Jordan]

It's a perfect segue to share a video that I got sent from a ring light.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Just talk about it because we can clip it.

[Jordan]

Okay, we'll clip it. So last weekend, we were all in Connecticut for a little celebration of love. And Halle gets really drunk or. I don't even know. Were you drunk?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm always drunk, Lauren.

[Jordan]

Oh, you got really drunk with. You got really wine drunk with Jordan's sister, Lauren.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And I wasn't that drunk.

[Jordan]

You were. Now that I'm thinking about it. You were really drunk with Laura. With Jordan's sister. And it's like, literally 2am in Connecticut. And Hallie's. We're all trying to go to sleep. And I just keep hearing, like, Halle's screaming all this stuff. And then Jordan's sister sends me a clip from her dad's very nice closet. And they have, like, a camera there just in case.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Allies around. Just in case Ali's around, like a gremlin.

[Jordan]

And Halle is in a full hoodie looking up at the camera, going, with her iPhone light like this. Can you see it?

[Hallie Bachelder]

She goes, I know. I look like a robber.

[Jordan]

You look like a robber. And then she's going through all the.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The.

[Jordan]

The the cabinets like this, like, opening up the cabinet.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I was committing to the bit, Lauren. Okay.

[Jordan]

Like, I was insane.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I have no words, and I didn't hear this. And I only saw it this week, and I was like, yeah, that's my friend. Yeah, I brought home. I brought her home.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. You know what? And. Yeah. And that's what I do. But honestly, had a great time. I was celebrating your love. I was going through a lot that. That weekend I went to a wedding, and then you got engaged. And I'm, like, over here with dying vibrators.

[Jordan]

Not even charged vibrators.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Not even charged vibrators. Have you ever had a vibrator die? Like, mid sex?

[Jordan]

That literally happened to me on Sunday.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's, like, the worst. That's, like, worse than cheating.

[Jordan]

I think it's worse for Jordan because I'm like, now we have to wait.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm like, now we have to wait is insane.

[Jordan]

I'm not like, okay, let's keep going. I'm like, just give it 10 minutes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Wait, that is. And I'm like, meanest thing. Lauren, you can't do that. Get my hand job. You're, like, scrolling through Instagram, like, texting.

[Jordan]

You guys, the Grippers.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Hey, guys, our group chat's called the Grippers.

[Jordan]

Yeah, it's all stemmed from Hal wanting a nickname.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I wanted, like, a nickname. Like, I feel like that would be really cool. Like, oh, my God, the Grippers. Here.

[Jordan]

What's the Gripper doing?

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, what do you think? The Gripper is going to come to dinner tonight.

[Jordan]

The Gripper's coming. The Gripper's coming.

[Hallie Bachelder]

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[Lauren]

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[Jordan]

Thanks.

[Lauren]

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[Jordan]

I feel like I have to give.

[Lauren]

You something in return for karma. That's okay. I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Hand sanitizer.

[Lauren]

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[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh my God. We have to talk about.

[Jordan]

Can we talk about my like fam. Our. My family.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, talk about your family. Go ahead.

[Jordan]

Okay, well, I just think that this is crazy and it needs to be shared. But in the town we're like having a really nice brunch. My mom looks at me, my mom looks at Halle. We know what that means. That means it's skinny cigarette time. Little did we know, if me, Halle and my mom get up, there's gonna be a trail of people following us. So we take everyone from the lunch table.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Explain your whole side. The family's Russian.

[Jordan]

Yeah, my whole family.

[Hallie Bachelder]

They're like Lauren.

[Jordan]

Yeah, they're like, they're Soviets. Okay?

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's how I get my Vogues, the skinny slims.

[Jordan]

Yeah, my mom like brings back cartons from duty free. Yeah, they're all Soviets. And also my family's insane. Like my family's crazy. And so that means my mom, my uncle, my aunt, me, Hallie, because she's part of the family. And then all of Jordan's siblings see the skinny cigs marching outside. And we're on the streets of New Canaan, which is like the waspiest town ever. We're all smoking cigarettes and then my sister in law sparks up a blunt.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, there was like families having brunch.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It was Sunday morning Marshall in New Canaan, Connecticut.

[Jordan]

I have a photo of this. Like it was insane.

[Hallie Bachelder]

People were like crossing the street to go on the other side the sidewalk to avoid us.

[Jordan]

It was madness.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We looked insane.

[Jordan]

And then I got a call from my mom and she said that my aunt like called my family, like called my family and was like, how was the weekend? And she goes, they were obsessed with me. I was like. She goes, how was Lauren? Like, how did it look? She goes, I won the weekend. They were all asking where my.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I love your Aunt. I know your aunt was funny as she was just, like, saying how it is. That's what I love about your family. They're just really honest.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And blunt. Even if it's too, like, you look like you look like today. What did you do last you look?

[Jordan]

Jordan's favorite thing about my family is, like, if anything's bad, bad, like, they'll be like, this is. Yeah. So he's like, this, like, my mom, like, one time made latas, and she was so upset with how the way came out. And Jordan goes, these are great. She goes, they're sheet this food. Everything is just sheep.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let's talk about the crane club. I heard a silly story last night. A sexual story.

[Jordan]

Foreign.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm not gonna name names, but it's two people we know. So one of my friends hooked up with another one of my guy friends, and we're all in the same friend group. Yes.

[Jordan]

Oh, okay. Okay. I can't wait. I didn't hear. I don't know anything about this.

[Hallie Bachelder]

So my girlfriend, she has, like, a roster. Okay. I would say it's a light roster, but she has people that, like, she's consistently sometimes hooks up with or guys she can, like, come back to. And, like, we know all of them. I wouldn't say any of them or anyone I would take home to, ma.

[Jordan]

I haven't, like, people, like. Like, I don't know anyone that has a roster.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, Like, I don't have a roster because I scare them too much. But anyways, so she had hooked up with a guy prior.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

So she hooked up with someone, like, last weekend. Yeah, last weekend. It was on, like, a Friday night, and Saturday night, they were all at the party or whatever, and that's when they went home together. So apparently he was talking their friends. So they were talking about the whole night. What you do last night, she's like, I hooked up with my, like, buck buddy, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Like, he already knew that she had hooked up with someone prior, like, the night before. So when they went home together and they're having sex, he apparently was, like, making her, like, detail, like, the sex from the night before him be like, you dirty little slide.

[Jordan]

Like, shut up.

[Hallie Bachelder]

There was a dick. There was a cockney last night. Like, oh, like, saying all this crazy out of pocket and was making her talk. Talk about, like, how disgusting of a slouch he was and all this.

[Jordan]

Shut up.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, shut up.

[Jordan]

Yeah, these are, like, our two really good.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, these are two really good friends. And she's definitely not a disgusting Slut.

[Jordan]

I feel like she's like, definitely freaky.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh, she's totally. I mean, I've had sex with her, so this. Wait, that came. It's so crazy. I've been in the room while she's having sex.

[Jordan]

There we go.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, there it is.

[Jordan]

So I haven't like, I don't even think I told you this, but during a weekend together she was taking. She took some photos of me on her phone. And I was like, oh, like, can I. I was like, let me just look at the photo. She's like, oh, yeah, of course. Like here she had like 20 plus photos of me. So I'm just like scrolling and I get to this photo. Like. And like, I was like, paralyzed.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Was it a nude?

[Jordan]

It was the most insane nude that I've ever seen. Like, it was like laying down. I've seen camera here.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, that's like, really? That's really. What else is she gonna send? I know the basic.

[Jordan]

Dude, I know, but like, I don't see for her.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I used to send. I see her pictures of me with like wine stoppers in my ass doing cartwheels and handstands.

[Jordan]

Okay, well, for someone that like, doesn't sex. I was just like, paralyzed because I don't see that for her. Like, she's just so innocent. She's so innocent.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Weird freak.

[Jordan]

And I was like, oh my God.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That is our commonality. Like, people are always like, how. How is such a sweet, sweet, cute girlfriends with this devilish. I'm like, trust me, we have commonalities. There is a common denominator and it is the dick. Anyways. Yeah, so he was like, tell me about like the dirty dick that was in your.

[Jordan]

Like, I'm gonna bring it up to him.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, like, don't bring it up to him.

[Jordan]

Okay, fine. But like, I need to say it was good.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And she said it was good. Yeah, they both said it was good.

[Jordan]

The amount of sex that he has, he better be good.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I. I just. I see him being very angular. And what does angular mean?

[Jordan]

Like, like rigid triangles in bed.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, there's no, like, soft edges because.

[Jordan]

He has a nice jawline.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like he. Like a hockey player. Like that? No, like, I guess like rigid hips. Like, tight.

[Jordan]

Oh, he's tight.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like he. There's no motion, there's no rhythm.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And I could seeping like a frat boy pump, but like, maybe not.

[Jordan]

I can see that. But in my mind, he also just has so much sex that like, it just better at this point. Someone must have corrected you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, I Mean, he's.

[Jordan]

He's very attractive.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He's so hot.

[Jordan]

He is so hot.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Honestly, I kind of love it for her.

[Jordan]

I love it for her.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I ship it.

[Jordan]

He's like beautiful. Myth.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, he looks like. He looks like one of those sculptures from the classical era.

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah. Funny, Successful.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Gorgeous. Actually one of our friends.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Do you want to him like, what's going on here?

[Jordan]

No, I would just love for him to like find a girl and then for us to like all be like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I just really think he's.

[Jordan]

I actually would love for you to end up with him, but I don't think that's ever going to happen.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I think he hasn't even come into his like peak yet.

[Jordan]

No.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Imagine when he's 40, better looking. I mean, what is he, 31, 32? I think he's just beginning of his career. I think in 10 years he's going to be a billionaire.

[Jordan]

We also know his uncle who's identical and like 45 and like gorgeous.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Gorgeous. But anyways, I want to bring up one more thing.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Our other friend.

[Jordan]

Oh, this is what I was thinking of before you got into the whole use. Nasty little.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, but what would you be like if a guy was like. Like that must be a kink.

[Jordan]

That's definitely a kick.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like you're like. It's almost like you're a cuckold. I could see him being a cold in your cuckold.

[Jordan]

It's probably why we get along.

[Hallie Bachelder]

So that's probably why you guys kiki so much.

[Jordan]

We Kiki, we're like. He's actually like become like one of our best friends. Yeah. Which I love for us because like, we're really good friends with like his family and like he just moved here.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This just reminded me of something. I do talk to this guy in Australia. Never met him.

[Jordan]

Wally. What?

[Hallie Bachelder]

Never met him. But he's so hot.

[Jordan]

This is so Halle. This is so Halle. Like, she'll be like, lauren.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He lives in Perth.

[Jordan]

I hooked up with this guy. Like I've told you about him. I'm like, who? What? No, you haven't.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm very private.

[Jordan]

You're very private.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Except like, actually I'm like more I share more like on my show with my people than I do with my own people in my life.

[Jordan]

I'll like, find out things through your show.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Or.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And that's where you get the tea. Yeah. Okay. There's this guy and he's. I've shown you him.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm gonna show you a picture like after this But I can't say his name. So hot. So beautiful. A little bit younger than me, but he has, like, a thing. He asks for my sex tapes with other guys. Never met him. And I send them.

[Jordan]

H, shut the up. This is why guys are scared of you. Ali goes, and for some reason, I don't have a roster. She's like, send.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Well, they don't know that. Now they do.

[Jordan]

Now they do.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Now they do.

[Jordan]

But, like, that is so funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's a weird kink.

[Jordan]

I can't. I can't wait, like, to see the guy that you end up with. Like, they're going to be, like, the most. I just know they're going to be the most private man ever. They're going to let you do. Do your thing. Like, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't know.

[Jordan]

I. I think so.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't even want to, like, make eye contact with a man this summer, even if we're having sex. I just, like, want to, like, look at their toes until we're done with the deed. Like, I don't even want to, like, look at a guy in the eye this summer. I'm, like, having a no man summer.

[Jordan]

That's not. Well, I think you're gonna, like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm gonna.

[Jordan]

We're going to. We're gonna Mykonos.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We're going to Mykonos. Oh, my God. I'm so excited.

[Jordan]

I think you're gonna find a man in Mykonos. No, I think you're gonna find a daddy in Mykonos. They're gonna find you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. It's gonna be interesting to be in that element.

[Jordan]

It's so much fun. Oh, my God.

[Hallie Bachelder]

With my bosses.

[Jordan]

With your bosses.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. They're gonna see a real new side of me, and I'm really excited.

[Jordan]

They haven't seen Euro Lauren. That's a com.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I haven't.

[Jordan]

You haven't seen Euro Lauren? I haven't seen Euro Lauren doesn't experience hangovers. She gets about three shades darker than she does in the US and she's basically walking around with, like, packs. Five packs of cigarettes in each pocket.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I know we have to be a little bit mindful, because I don't think the people we're going with, they don't smoke. Probably not cigarettes. Like, we're, like, crazy.

[Jordan]

Like, we're gonna get, like, zero.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Alex, me and Graydon are gonna be.

[Jordan]

Like, well, Graydon is a whole other great.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It is gonna be the funniest thing ever. I wonder. I'm intrigued to See what I'm gonna be like in Europe.

[Jordan]

I mean, I. I think you're gonna love it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I think we're going with, like, the perfect group because we both, like. I think we're gonna let loose a little bit, but we also, like, we'll find moments of chill and just, like, tanning a little bit. Yeah, right?

[Jordan]

Yeah. No, no, no. That's not how it works there. It's like beach club, nightclub, morning coffee with cigarettes, then beach club. I think you're gonna really.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Alex is gonna be, like, scared of you after this trip.

[Jordan]

She liked me. She's literally is this. You know, I'm, like, sober on all the unwell trips, and she's like, oh. She's like, she's gonna guide us to take care of us. And then, like, you're all, like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's like you're sober all year for this one little Europe glimpse you get each summer.

[Jordan]

Like, I can't.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I. I've never had a Euro summer.

[Jordan]

You're gonna love it. Jordan's like, a animal.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Wait, really? Am I gonna be an animal, or am I gonna be, like, just me? And I think you're just gonna be you.

[Jordan]

But, like, actually, like. Like, enjoy. Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Make them wonder if there's anyone for, like, me and Lauren.

[Jordan]

There's gonna be.

[Hallie Bachelder]

There's not Lauren. Lauren.

[Jordan]

Such hot men.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And a lot of like. Like, male, like. Like, men trips. You know, like. Like, male friend group trips.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, that's male friend group chips should be banned.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't like that they, like, if I had a boyfriend. Let's go with a bachelor. Bachelor trip.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay. Maybe that's the only trip they can go on, but, like, let's go to male group trip. Like, what?

[Jordan]

Yeah, like, that's for the girls. That is. I mean, like, single guys. Like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I don't know.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I mean, it is Pride Month, so. But anyways, I think that Graydon's gonna be like, let's rank, like, I think we're gonna let loose. I think Graydon's gonna be the drunkest girl at the party, though.

[Jordan]

I think after this trip, we might need to sit great in town. Great. And, like, cannot be stopped. He'll go to. And the problem with Mykonos that I fear for him is that the parties go until, like, 10 or 11am Graydon will be alone at those parties till 11am oh, yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

If you get, like, the right sort of drinks in him.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He will be an unstoppable force. And, like, I'm the same way where I Do not want the party to end. I want to go all night. I want to meet new people. I want to see like, who is the last person standing. It is great in the slander. Man in the corner. He's the last person standing at the function in respect.

[Jordan]

He's like, why didn't you guys kick me and tell me?

[Hallie Bachelder]

But then he like gets mad at us the next day for not manhandling.

[Jordan]

Him like, you're six foot nine.

[Hallie Bachelder]

What?

[Jordan]

Like, yeah, what did you want us to do? Like, grab your hands.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We should get a taser.

[Jordan]

You have one.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And just tase the out of him and just bring him. Imagine we're like. And he's like to the floor.

[Jordan]

And then I grab a sit.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And then you're just like calling him out of. He's gonna be so. He's gonna be dancing on tables, like swinging from chandeliers.

[Jordan]

And you know what's funny is that the tables in Europe, they like, they like drill them into the ground so that you can dance on them.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm gonna like hurt myself. Yeah, it's gonna be so much fun. I haven't been on like a fun.

[Jordan]

You've never been personal trip with us.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I've been on like a fun personal trip. And since when? Name one. Name them.

[Jordan]

Name it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Name it.

[Jordan]

No, I honestly, I remember, I don't.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Know when was the last time you needed to go to a doctor but push it off, made the excuse. Maybe it's like your symptoms aren't that bad. I was like, oh, my headache's not that terrible. My toothache doesn't hurt that much. I feel like it's so easy to find an excuse to put off like, who likes going to the doctors. It's so easy to find an excuse to put off a doctor's appointment. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor appointment can just be so daunting. But thanks to Zar, there's no reason to delay. They make it so easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than a hundred thousand doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and more. Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. When I first moved to New York City, I was trying to Find a new dentist. It was so easy to just like plug in where I was living, my insurance. And it basically just gives you a list of those specialty specific doctors in your area and reviews you can sift through just to decide what's the best fit for you. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to zocdoc.com extra dirty that's z d o c.com extra dirty zocdoc.com extraordinary extra dirty.

[Lauren]

Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.

[Jordan]

Thanks.

[Lauren]

And here's my old phone to trade in. You don't need a trade in when you switch to T Mobile. We'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro plus we'll help you pay off your old Phone up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it. There's always a trade in. Not right now. @ T Mobile.

[Jordan]

I feel like I have to give.

[Lauren]

You something in return for karma. That's okay. I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Hand sanitizer.

[Lauren]

It's lavender. I'm good. Seriously.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let me check this pocket.

[Lauren]

Oh, mints. Really, I'm fine. Oh, I have raisins.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm a mom.

[Lauren]

Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car. It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile. Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple Intelligence on us. No trade in needed. We'll even pay off your phone up to 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits. New line, 100 plus a month on experience beyond Finance Agreement 999.99 and qualifying ported for well qualified plus tax and $10 connection charge. Pay off via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits and ambalance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel ct.

[Jordan]

Oh, oh, I know what I want to talk about. I would like to talk about the other thing that we heard at dinner last night.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay.

[Jordan]

We had one of our, like best friends join us because she doesn't live here and she was in town and she was telling us she's like one of those girls that like, she just like. She's spicy. She's a little spicy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She's.

[Jordan]

Yes, she's spicy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I would say she likes to like, keep her sex life on the spicier. Extra hot side.

[Jordan]

Yeah, like she'll like actively do it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. She makes a proactive effort to be spicy instead of like, I think finding spicy moments that just come naturally.

[Jordan]

I think there's a difference. Yes, yes. She's like A fear. Like, it doesn't want to get one, doesn't want to make anything boring. So she'll, like, proactively spice it up.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yes. I think we explained it enough. Yeah.

[Jordan]

And we were talking to her, and I was like, you know, I remember you told me that, like, you, like, you were trying some role playing. And she was like. She's like, Lauren. I got. She was like, I got to a point where, like, we didn't break character for the whole weekend.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, I can see that. She's like, we didn't break character for, like, a full 48 hours. It was like, Thursday through Sunday. She was fetlana. She was the nurse. She was the lawyer that has the bad case. Like, she, like, does all these things. She'll put on a wig, like, meet him at the bar. Yeah, they don't break character. Honestly. So fun. She's like.

[Jordan]

It wasn't even, like, a sexy nurse costume. It was like a full scrubs. She, like, ended up in a full scrub suit.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I. I bet it was like some, like, Grey's Anatomy, like, get into, like, the. What's it called?

[Jordan]

Yeah, like, she was a nurse. He was like a, like, on call doctor. Yeah, she was a. What's it called? She was a resident. No, no, he was a resident. She was an intern. Yeah, like someone just bleeding.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Get on the surgery.

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She'll do anything to be in the surgery. Do anything to scrub in. Yep.

[Jordan]

There's, like, an. A really cool open heart upcoming. Like, surgery that he's the only one that, like, has.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He gets to pick the intern. She'll do anything.

[Jordan]

Yeah, she'll do anything to be the intern that he picks.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She's so funny.

[Jordan]

She's so funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I've known her for 20 years. She's always been like that. Well, not like when we were five, but like, she was always like that.

[Jordan]

So funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Remember when we talked?

[Jordan]

I should try that.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Remember? You should try that.

[Jordan]

I know. I just, like, need to, like, she was. She said something to me last night that was so funny. She goes, honestly, it's the perfect opportunity for you to be like, get into character and be this insane that loves to give head. I was like, yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Because Lauren's like, I don't like to give head. I've been over this.

[Jordan]

We've been over this. She was like, this is a perfect opportunity for you to get into a character that loves to give head.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Your favorite thing ever is just to suck dick.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I'm a bad 48 hours. I don't break character. Just sucking dick for 14 hours.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, you can be me.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh, my God. You could role play me.

[Jordan]

Let me try.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Okay. I need to, like, honestly, like, I need. I think it'd be really funny. I think Jordan would literally be like, what? Or he would, like, run and like, take.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I mean, if his dick's getting sucked, he's gonna deal with it. Yeah, he's gonna deal with. Even if you were like Scooby Doo, I think he would deal with whatever character you want to break into.

[Jordan]

He'd be like a full furry. Full furry suit.

[Hallie Bachelder]

People are into that.

[Jordan]

I'm a labubu.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh, my God. You turn into a little bit.

[Jordan]

I'm like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And he's a Birkin.

[Jordan]

Sunny's like this. Yeah, he's a Birkin and I'm a Labubu.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. And you're attached at the hip.

[Jordan]

Yeah, literally, I'm a. I'm a Labubu. That will do anything to, like, get on that. On that.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This is taking an insane route.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I should try it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, I think you should try. I don't think I could. I mean, I'm honestly shocked. I haven't done. I feel like, role play something you do with like, a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I don't think I would do it.

[Jordan]

With a. I don't think, like a stranger that you bring home. You're like, stay there because you get into a full scrubs.

[Hallie Bachelder]

You could technically do that if you wanted to, like, say you, like, have a one night stand. You could be like.

[Jordan]

I mean, it's giving our two friends the other weekend.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. You could be like, I'm Jessica and like, you could, like, lie at the bar if you really want to, I guess. And just role play with strangers. True. And they'll never find you.

[Jordan]

But then it's like, it's like fun. It's more fun when. When like, the person knows that you're.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, role playing the character. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Like, if I was like, I'm Rachel the first time.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, I feel like you're already. Yeah, I feel like. I love that name, though. Rachel. That should be your role playing.

[Jordan]

Role playing.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, I'm role play Rachel.

[Jordan]

Let's roll. Rachel's back. Rachel. She wants to give head.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Rachel's feeling really dirty and needs a bat. Laughed like, that's so funny. Wait, what else was I gonna say?

[Jordan]

I wanna. We've been dating for five years. Like, I think it'd be like, I don't know if he would laugh or.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, you should do something spicy. Like, do something like, have you ever tried lingerie?

[Jordan]

Yeah, but like, I don't understand the point of lingerie. Cuz then you just take it off.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's like more of like a. I.

[Jordan]

Think I've got it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's like a sensory thing.

[Jordan]

I've got it. Like once, like. But like, this was like, after a year of dating, like, he bought like, or I bought lingerie and we were.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, you look so fire in lingerie.

[Jordan]

Thank you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, like, you've the perfect. You have the perfect body to like, pull off lingerie and do like a little.

[Jordan]

I go, I know what you mean. What?

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, but you have like, a perfect body to, like, be able to like, in your Leo, I could just see, like, walking to the room. Like, the lights are dim and you're like, get on the bed.

[Jordan]

So I know what you mean in the sense that I have, like, really wide hips, lips. So, like, the lingerie would like, like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She's like, I have a great ass. She's like, I know what you mean because I have a perfect and plump ass.

[Jordan]

That was really crazy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The BB allegations. The BBL allegations have never stopped.

[Jordan]

That was crazy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No. Yeah.

[Jordan]

But like, I need to be.

[Hallie Bachelder]

But you should do something like that. Or like, have you ever. I've done hot candle wax, but I like, inflicting pain a little bit.

[Jordan]

You like inflicting pain? I don't know if Jordan would like that. He's literally be like, oh.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Is he ticklish? Is he squirmish?

[Jordan]

Not really, but I just don't think he would. Like, he doesn't like. I don't think, like, inflicting pain on him would be, like, his first choice. He'd probably prefer if I was like, a nurse.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. I was feeling nicer about inflict. I don't want to inflict pain. That's why I cut my nails, but.

[Jordan]

Oh, we're moving away from pain.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah. In what world are my. My. Are my nails longer than yours now? I like this for you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, this is clean girl Summer.

[Jordan]

I like it for you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Dirty mouth.

[Jordan]

Maybe. Well, maybe you're like. Like the guys aren't gonna know what to expect. They're like, expecting, like, a clean girl with, like, short nails.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Guys know what to expect from my eyes with your.

[Jordan]

I mean, they know what to expect with your new rack.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. And the rack. And I feel like, though my eye contact with men is pretty secure.

[Jordan]

It's like you, like, turn into like, siren eyes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. But I feel like I l. Guy with eye contact. It's the way I like look into their soul. In the pits of their penis.

[Jordan]

No, I've seen it and it's truly. It should be studied.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Have we told that story yet?

[Jordan]

Prob. No. Maybe. But we were at the pal. I'll tell it. Yeah, we were. Me and Jordan. Halle were at the Palace. We were leaving. This guy, the one hot guy that's at the bar is talking to a girl. Full on conversation. Hallie goes, oh, we're like, hi, let's go. She goes, watch this.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We're about to leave.

[Jordan]

We. We were literally about to leave and it was like as if like a spotlight like landed on Halle and this guy and she just gives him the craziest eye and he mid conversation stops, leaves the girl at the bar and walks towards Halle and she stays. And me and Jordan, we like left. Jordan was like, I've never seen anything like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, it's my eyes. They just lure them in.

[Jordan]

It was insane.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Maybe, but you're also. Maybe. He was a doctor and I was cross eyed and he was like.

[Jordan]

He was like, she needs my help.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'll be right back.

[Jordan]

This chicken needs help. I'm dead. Halle.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Maybe he's literally like, like a brain doctor. Be like, I see.

[Jordan]

I see a girl having an aneurysm. I'll be right back.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I gave my number though. He was hot.

[Jordan]

He. Did anything ever happen?

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, he. I don't know. I don't remember who we're.

[Jordan]

Really?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't think so.

[Jordan]

I mean, I'm single. Nothing really happened.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, nothing happened.

[Jordan]

I mean it was crazy. But also to be fair, walking and I've experienced this for six years. Like walking in anywhere with Halle is like a sight to be seen. Like Halle walks into a room and everyone look. Yes, yes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I think I have a nice walk. Well, not against what you said, but I like carry myself. Well, I carry myself.

[Jordan]

You're just like. You're so hot.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's so kind. Give me a hand to foot.

[Jordan]

You're just like, Halle's just so hot and you have this presence. Like here's. I think, I think it's like really important. Like a lot of you can be really hot. You can walk into a room and you're getting. You can get lost like that you just had. You don't have like the. The confidence.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I smile.

[Jordan]

The posture. Okay. You don't walk into a bar. Like that's not how you walk in. Like you have a really strong. And I think our three friends, me, you and Liv, we do this really well. We have like A really strong entrance. Entrance.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We're like the Powerpuff Girls.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Like, but. But, like, guys would literally be at tables and just, like. Like, it was just so.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I think I was, like, pretending I was famous or something.

[Jordan]

It worked.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Fake it till you make it, baby.

[Jordan]

Make it till you make it. It worked.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Remember last day now?

[Jordan]

Oh, my God. This is insane. This was crazy. Also, we saw Miley Cyrus last night.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God. That was crazy. Was. That was like a dream.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh, yeah. There was a CAA event next to us at. At Crane Club. We were leaving. There was a swarm of, like, police cars, black cars a bunch. I thought someone died. I thought they were looking for me.

[Jordan]

It was Miley Cyrus.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It was Miley Cyrus walking out of the restaurant. And there's paparazzi swarming paparazzi cars. And I rarely see paparazzi moments in.

[Jordan]

In New York City.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Rarely. Rarely.

[Jordan]

That was my first.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Rarely.

[Jordan]

I got it. Rarely.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. And then Mike came over in a paparazzi recognized. And Mike pulled me in.

[Jordan]

Halle sorts.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I started making out.

[Jordan]

And then she literally, like. Like, it was simply for the paparazzi. Then she turns around, and she's like. And we were like, what did you just do?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't. I don't think that's gonna end up in, like. I don't think he's ending up in page six.

[Jordan]

No.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Maybe page seven. Like, I don't know about. Like, I don't know.

[Jordan]

Holly in Miami.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Pictures aren't going anywhere.

[Jordan]

I left Tally in Miami alone. This is what happens when she's alone. She doesn't have a keeper. A keeper. And she came home, and she goes, lauren. She was drunk. Lauren. I up. And I was like, why? I was like, what'd you do? She goes, I didn't have anyone to lean on. And we were leaving the club. There's paparazzi. And I went like this.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, literally. I am so awkward sometimes. And I, like, I'm no one. Like, really? At the end of the day, I'm like, no one. The paparazzi were not there for me. And I, like, don't, like, think I was up. I think I was, like, on tusy beer. Like, everything was upside down. I was rolling absolute sack. My sunglasses were on. I'm leaving this club in Miami with people that probably would get their pictures taken.

[Jordan]

And they all went solo and left Hal.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, they all. They left me in behind. Paparazzi are, like, shooting, shoot, shoot. And I'm like, this.

[Jordan]

And Holly.

[Hallie Bachelder]

And I was like. I was like, why the Did I do that?

[Jordan]

Why did I do that?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I know how to pose.

[Jordan]

That was funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

You feel like mog.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Or you have to give the Melania.

[Jordan]

Alex crushed that. When we were with her in Miami and we were on the Jet Skis, we go. We literally screamed at her. We were like, alex, yeah, pose. And she was, like, on the Jet Ski. It was, like, perfect.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The paparazzi. Miami were insane. They were, like, following Alex, like, down.

[Jordan]

She was like. It was, like, gross. They were like. She was in a bikini, and they were like, no.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, they had to, like, like, have some respect. Have some respect, Paparazzo. Not too much on our queen. Okay.

[Jordan]

Yeah. They were like. They would, like, take her photo bite.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's when my tick came out. Yeah, my full tick came out. The girl that was like. Like, getting, like. We had to sign waivers in our life away for the Jet Ski, she was like, you're full tits out. And I'm like, papa's in the corner, like, trying to snap Alex. I'm in the back.

[Jordan]

Full tit.

[Hallie Bachelder]

But Alex is mogging so hard.

[Jordan]

Like, the photos came out so good.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She looked so good.

[Jordan]

So good.

[Hallie Bachelder]

So, yeah. I hope those pictures don't go anywhere. Just because, like, what? That's so random.

[Jordan]

It's just so funny. Like, that's so you. Like, this is just so you. Like, well, you'll just, like, do something, and then you'll turn on. Be like, why did I just do that?

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, because we were, like, all, like, waiting for our Ubers and random, like, flashes of paparazzi. And then I turned back around being like, is your Uber here yet? Like, I was.

[Jordan]

Yeah, you're, like, so casually. Just, like, made out with Mike for the paparazzi. The paparazzi was like, thanks, Mike. Like, what? And then he, like, walked. Like, it was just. It was funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It was really funny.

[Jordan]

So funny. We, like, kind of.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I love him.

[Jordan]

We breezed over that.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He's become, like, a good friend.

[Jordan]

He's the best.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I love him. He's just.

[Jordan]

He's always been so kind, so funny. This one time, we were. He's just. He's truly the best. He's so nice. He's so nice to Jordan. He's so nice to, like, all of our friends whenever we're, like, in a big group. And he'll, like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We've known him forever now.

[Jordan]

Six years. Yeah. From the beginning. And he'll, like, come over to Halle and be like, big fan. Big fan.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I love him. He's so nice.

[Jordan]

We went to a really cool place last night. And this is. I don't think we explained.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No. We never talked about us edging it. Edge.

[Jordan]

Yeah. I think people might have actually thought that we edged.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Are we always edging? Isn't life just one big edge?

[Jordan]

Yeah. You're just edging into the next.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The final bang.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Which is death.

[Jordan]

So morbid.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No.

[Jordan]

Jesus Christ. We're not gonna be sponsored by the edge.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No.

[Jordan]

So the edge is the edge at Hudson Yards, which is like that big sky deck. And I guess now they were, I don't know, some mark bought by Tao. I. I don't know.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We had a full Tao groupie night.

[Jordan]

But, like, that's like a sick Tao groupie night.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It was fun, but the.

[Jordan]

Yeah, the music, they were doing too much.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It just became a little warehousey.

[Jordan]

Yeah. And, like, I. I like those guys. I love their DJing, genuinely.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Like, I've seen them DJ, and they're awesome. They were just. Maybe they were leaning in a little bit too, like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, it was very, like, it kind of gave, like, Amsterdamy kind of.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Like, I wanted more. Like, I wanted more Euro and they were giving me more, like, warehouse.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. You know, even if it was, like, it was giving gospel almost, but, like, I don't know. Banger. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Goss feels like a little bit more. Like, it can get, like, a little more tribal and calm. This was like. I was like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I was like, yeah. Maybe it needs to be more gospelish.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Meanwhile, Jordan's like, three rows behind us, big cheese in.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He's like the frat boy flick.

[Jordan]

He couldn't help himself. And when Jordan smiles, it's like all. How many teeth do we have in our mouths?

[Hallie Bachelder]

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

[Jordan]

You can see every tooth.

[Hallie Bachelder]

All 97 of them. You could see every.

[Jordan]

You could see every tooth. And he was having a great time. We came home, and you can see it from my apartment. He stood by the window. It was like, Sally Jordan stood by our window because you can see the edge. And he continued. He was like, no. Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That is diabolical.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I can't imagine him on substances.

[Jordan]

No. And he wasn't on any. That's the best part.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, of course he wasn't.

[Jordan]

But, like. But, like, imagine him on a substance.

[Hallie Bachelder]

He would not. He would have stayed.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

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[Lauren]

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[Jordan]

Thanks.

[Lauren]

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[Jordan]

I feel like I have to give.

[Lauren]

You something in return for karma. That's okay. I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Hand sanitizer.

[Lauren]

It's lavender. I'm good. Seriously.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let me check this pocket.

[Lauren]

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[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay, so for this segment, Lauren. So obviously Lauren works a corporate job. I obviously don't work a corporate job, okay? I got a career off of basically talking about online, how I don't work and like day in the life of me not working and me being a little chill, a spoiled, somehow it landed me a career. Now we're here with microphones.

[Jordan]

It's so funny though because I used to like when I think when I was younger, I was like, oh, I hate corporate. And now I'm like, wait. Like, I literally, like, I'm like, I love corporate.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Because you've climbed the ladder. Yeah. Very proud.

[Jordan]

That's probably why you just didn't like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

You didn't like. You didn't ever like being anyone's though.

[Jordan]

Yeah. I think you didn't like, work. No. That's what you were doing. Because I have, like, I like. I like to be hurt.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jordan]

And now.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I have a great team that, like, I love. I'm obsessed with my team.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The only work I've ever. I've never worked a corporate job. I don't know any of the corporate lingo. I've only been, like, a hostess. I know what a lobster roll is, and I know what it means when it's table ready. Table ready. I know what that means. Or you can be seated. Those are the terms I knows.

[Jordan]

Let me walk you to your table.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let me walk you to your table. Would you like a wine list? These are the terms I know. Know. Lauren's gonna quiz me on some terms that I may not know, and I'm gonna guess what they maybe mean.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

There was. I might know some.

[Jordan]

You know some because you didn't know them in the past, and I had to explain them to you. Like pto.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I thought that meant pass the out.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Without that.

[Jordan]

I was like. I was like, okay, how? Like, I have to request PTO if we want to do this. She was like, what? That's my favorite is how he's like, do you want to do this? I'm like, yeah, let me see if I can get off.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm like, oh, oh, she's out of the office.

[Jordan]

Okay, ready?

[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh, no.

[Jordan]

Okay. One on one. Like, I'd like. Yes. Let me confirm our one on one.

[Hallie Bachelder]

A private meeting.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Good job.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That seems like therapy.

[Jordan]

Let me run it up the flagpole.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let me ask someone that's more in charge if this is okay.

[Jordan]

Good job.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yay.

[Jordan]

I would just like to level set.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let's circle back to this. Let's circle back.

[Jordan]

Circle back is another term, but, like, I just want to level set expectations here.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let's be more reasonable.

[Jordan]

There you go.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This is so fun.

[Jordan]

Bandwidth. Like, that's just like, a word.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I have no idea who that is. I would have guessed, like, oh, it's.

[Jordan]

Out of my bandwidth. Wow. Is that a corporate word? Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's out of my band.

[Jordan]

It's not in my bandwidth.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't do you guys have musical production at your office?

[Jordan]

I thought you would. I thought you would have known that one. Okay, so bandwidth, it's just like, like it's not in my. Like I can't take on anymore. It's like I have so much work to do. It's like not. It's like out of my bandwidth.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I always have bandwidth problems too.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Holly gets a brand deal. It's not in my bandwidth.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's not in my bandwidth. I am. Ooo.

[Jordan]

That's not. Well, that's not going to move the needle for us as a company. That's not going to move the needle.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It doesn't make me horny.

[Jordan]

Kind of. But like, imagine in a meeting someone was like, it's not in my idea.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Does not make me wet.

[Jordan]

Yeah. My boss is like, that's not going to move the needle for us. I'm like, you're right. It's not going to make us horny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Honestly, she would love it. You're right.

[Jordan]

This won't make our. This won't make our customers horny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This won't make the consumers wet.

[Jordan]

Let's move on.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Let's move on from this.

[Jordan]

Let's set up a touch base. I already say that one. Yeah. Above my pay grade. I'd love to say that I would.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Literally get like, Like, I'm worth more than this and I'm not doing this.

[Jordan]

Above my pay grade. Like someone like asked me something that I wouldn't know because, like, only a someone above me would know. And I'm like, I don't know. It's about my big grade.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay.

[Jordan]

Ping ping. You know that one?

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's like texting. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Like Bing client deliverables. You know, because you have deliverables. We have an open door policy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like you don't have to knock on your boss's door or you don't have doors in your office.

[Jordan]

We definitely have doors in our office.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Give the knock on them. Can you just walk in?

[Jordan]

Depends on whose it is. I'm trying to think of other words. What are some other ones? Like more like pto. Ooo. Eow. I know you've known those, but you didn't know them before. Like now you know them because you have like deliverables and people are like, I want.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I remember when I first started doing Brandos and they were like, can we have this? Eow. I go now.

[Jordan]

Yeah. You texted me. You're like, what is eow? You know, I thought it was like you texted. I remember literally getting the text from you're like, what does this mean? And I was like, end of week.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay, let's talk about the pop culture moment of the week.

[Jordan]

Okay, that's great.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This is not a pop culture pop podcast, by the way. But this is important because we've been talking about it all week. The Lubu boos.

[Jordan]

Yeah. It's funny that I only found out about them last week, but I like them.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Lauren loves a little boo boo. Lauren's a furry.

[Jordan]

Well, I think it's because we have a really large. Like, we have a really large business in Asia, so we just opened up a Korea. What can I say that?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm like, okay. Corporate.

[Jordan]

Oh, no. It's just like, we just had. We just opened up a. We just did a whole Korea pop up. So they brought back these laboons. Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

International.

[Jordan]

I know. We're so international. Yeah. And I was like, what are those? And they're like, you can't get them. And I was like, what? And so when someone.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Consumerism.

[Jordan]

It's like someone says they can't get something, I want it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

What am I, an anthropologist? It's consumerism. Like, what am I talking about? Someone told me to shut the up.

[Jordan]

I want a labubu. I'm getting you a labubu.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't want to pay for one.

[Jordan]

I'm not gonna make you pay for.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'll take anything that's free.

[Jordan]

I'm gonna get them for free.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay. I'm fine. I'll. I mean, for the bit. I think it'd be a good content.

[Jordan]

If I got you a free labubu. Will be happy with that Labu.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I don't even have bags I care about.

[Jordan]

That's true.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's like. That's Halle.

[Jordan]

The one thing, like, I've never seen you have one bag that you cared about.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Never.

[Jordan]

Never.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That Prada bag.

[Jordan]

Product needs to figure their in a week. Holly.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That wasn't me. I might have hit someone over the head with Holly.

[Jordan]

Halle walks around with bags. I mean, you've probably seen the Tick Tocks. She walk around with bags and she'll, like, throw it across the room. She'll, like, basically, like, hit people. That's my t. Oh, yeah. She'll like. Yeah. I mean.

[Hallie Bachelder]

But you know what, Lauren?

[Jordan]

You'll put it on your coach bag. I love that you've been rocking that Coach bag.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I love the coach bag. I'm sorry you've been rocking it. It was a bag I got during a brand deal for Coach, obviously. Amazing bag. Love it.

[Jordan]

It's withstanding it Is.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Was. It's so cute.

[Jordan]

It. It is cute. It's like the suede coach bag.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I. I think it's chic.

[Jordan]

It's a great bag.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's a great bag. And Coach, if you're watching this, I love you. I need more bags.

[Jordan]

No, it's actually so funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Proud of you're watching this. What the going on with you?

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I love your shoes and I love all the. That you got going on.

[Jordan]

You just like, shot on their shoes and their back.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, well, they're breaking. They're falling apart.

[Jordan]

So funny.

[Hallie Bachelder]

They need stronger glue. I don't know what's happening.

[Jordan]

Coach is where Coach knows what they're doing.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. Honestly.

[Jordan]

But yeah. The labo boos are. The craze for them is crazy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

You couldn't find a better word.

[Jordan]

Wait, you're so right. Okay.

[Hallie Bachelder]

What would you say the craze for them is?

[Jordan]

Crazy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Outstanding.

[Jordan]

That was profound.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The craze for them is crazy. Socrates. I'm a poet that he's getting to her.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay. The craze for them is kind of crazy. There feels like alliteration at that point.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. Big word. What are we saying?

[Jordan]

The name of this episode is the craze is crazy.

[Hallie Bachelder]

The name of this episode is the craze is Crazy. And Lauren will try foreplay. Oh, wait, no, no.

[Jordan]

Lauren will try role play. Role play.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yes. Perfect.

[Jordan]

I think I need back to that. I think I need to. But I think I need to prepare Jordan. Not too laugh. Laugh.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No, you would laugh.

[Jordan]

Jordan's not gonna laugh. He's gonna, like, literally, like, run around the room in excitement.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Road. Beauty.

[Jordan]

What about. Oh, them selling.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

So insane.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She is so girl boss. Did you see that video clip of her where she just, you know, made her back and she's like.

[Jordan]

Yeah. She's like something to the music.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She's so kind. I love her. I'm obsessed with her. She gets so much unnecessary hate.

[Jordan]

Also so smart to. To sell to Elf.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Elf is like, smart girl.

[Jordan]

Like, it's like l' Oreal has so many.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. Acquired so many.

[Jordan]

Yeah. And like, E. L is like, so. I mean, it's like a drugstore product. Right. And affordable.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, it's. It's just so massive and probably, like.

[Jordan]

Yeah. It's just so smart for them. Yeah.

[Hallie Bachelder]

She can probably, like, still be very hands on, I'm sure.

[Jordan]

And like.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Oh, it's probably something she doesn't want to give up either. The aspect of being hands on.

[Jordan]

So cool. But I'm actually wearing.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I'm Wearing road. I wear the peptide.

[Jordan]

That's what I'm wearing right now. So that's why we're glowing.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's is. I think it's also the tequila coming out of my pores right now. I'm honestly shocked. My glasses haven't fogged up yet. Requested me. Classic Jordan. I wasn't even at dinner.

[Jordan]

Wait, why did he Venmo. Request you?

[Hallie Bachelder]

I had a slice of pizza.

[Jordan]

He goes, tell her to decline.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah, I was gonna. Anyways. Anyways. If he wants to have money. If he wants to have money to manage. You need to stop Ben requesting me.

[Jordan]

This one time when Halle. Like, if Halle had a superpower, she always says this. She would be the Venmoer. Like, she is so quick to Venmo.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Like, it's.

[Jordan]

It's as if she's asleep. She, like, knows someone Venmoed her, requested her. She'll open eye, accept, and then go back to sleep.

[Hallie Bachelder]

It's one of my things. I hate owing people money. I'll never owe people money.

[Jordan]

And this one time, we were in an Uber, and I think you and Jordan got in a fight about, I don't know, something like, he was being annoying and you guys got it.

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's really, like, annoying sometimes.

[Jordan]

It's because Jordan doesn't like. Jordan doesn't like to talk.

[Hallie Bachelder]

No. Yes. And we are girls.

[Jordan]

We like to talk.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We like to talk. And, like, he'll get really. Not just that. He likes to, like, play the devil's advocate way too hard. And, like, don't do that to a scorned woman. Yeah. If we're on one and we're rapid firing, bullet point, bullet point. You, Becky. You, Teresa. You, Jessica. And he's like, but think about Jessica's upbringing.

[Jordan]

He's like, think about it from her perspective. And we're like, jessica's death, the time and place. Jordan, just be on our side, and then tomorrow you can talk to us about Jessica's point of view.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Yeah. There's no reasoning with a scorned woman. Scorn woman with fake tits. Don't come for me.

[Jordan]

And so they get in this, like, argument. And Jordan had just requested her memo. Requested her. Holly, like, getting out of the Uber goes decline, bye. Leaves the Uber. And it was so funny. It was like, what?

[Hallie Bachelder]

Shouldn't have fixed fight with me.

[Jordan]

Yeah, that was funny. That's how you know that she was mad.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We have to end this episode.

[Jordan]

Okay. We've been talking.

[Hallie Bachelder]

We. This is a great episode.

[Jordan]

This could be two episodes.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I. No, like, I think we could keep going, but I think I might fall over.

[Jordan]

I think I need a coffee. An iced coffee. And I need an ice pack.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I need, like.

[Jordan]

And I need a hangover cap.

[Hallie Bachelder]

This is a great episode, Lauren. I love you. I'm so hungover. I am horny. I want to get dick down this weekend. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I hope everyone sucks someone off. Sucks. Suck your boyfriend off this weekend. That's everyone's homework assignment.

[Jordan]

What's my nickname?

[Hallie Bachelder]

That's your homework assignment. Sakiana.

[Jordan]

No. What's my, like, alter ego?

[Hallie Bachelder]

That Rachel.

[Jordan]

Rachel.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Rachel is going to be giving the sloppiest fucking dome she's ever given ever.

[Jordan]

Like, honey, Rachel's home.

[Hallie Bachelder]

I would love to. I'm like, teething. I'm like a baby. I, like, would love. I would love to suck dick this weekend.

[Jordan]

Okay, well, I'm gonna manifest that for you when.

[Hallie Bachelder]

You know what happens when I manifest.

[Jordan]

I know it happens.

[Hallie Bachelder]

If I say I'm gonna. I always end up.

[Jordan]

She always. She will always.

[Hallie Bachelder]

If I say I'm gonna suck, I always end up sucking. And if I say I'm gonna take it easy, that's the only thing that never.

[Jordan]

That never happened. That never happened. That. That you know is a lie.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Okay? And that's how we're gonna end the episode, guys. You can watch on YouTube, like, subscribe, comment all the nice things. Be nice to me. Be lovely. I love you all. And you can listen on every other platform. But yeah, this is so much fun. I love you guys and we'll see you next week.

[Jordan]

Love you.

[Hallie Bachelder]

Happy Thursday.

[Jordan]

Bye.

[Hallie Bachelder]

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