Mykonos, mushrooms, & travel meltdowns *Euro trip recap!!*

Summary

Podcast Summary: Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder Episode: Mykonos, mushrooms, & travel meltdowns Euro trip recap!!* Release Date: July 10, 2025

In this vibrant and candid episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, Hallie, along with her best friend Lauren Fishbein, offers an unfiltered recap of their whirlwind Euro trip to Mykonos. The episode delves into the highs and lows of their adventures, showcasing the deep bonds of friendship, unexpected travel mishaps, and the hilariously chaotic moments that made the trip unforgettable.

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1. Passport Drama and Airport Hiccups ([02:06] - [07:15])

The episode kicks off with Hallie recounting a nerve-wracking experience at the airport. Despite meticulous planning, a minor oversight with her passport nearly derailed the entire trip.

• Hallie: “I know. They almost didn't let me in the country of Europe, which I thought was very rude... It’s Kind of like a suggestion.” ([02:13])

Hallie shares her frustration about the stringent passport validity requirements, highlighting how a seemingly minor detail can cause significant stress.

• Lauren: “You have a passport that apparently is expiring. It says expiring on September 24, 2025. So you'd think that wouldn't be just, like, a suggestion.” ([02:30])

The tension peaks as Hallie faces a stern airport official who questions her eligibility to enter Europe, leading to a panic-inducing moment where Hallie's dreams of the trip hang in the balance.

• Hallie: “She hands me back my passport and looks at Gray and goes, are you gonna go? Or, like, are you gonna, like, go back home with her? Like, what are you gonna do?” ([04:48])

Despite the initial setback, the group manages to navigate the bureaucracy and eventually boards their flight, albeit with lingering stress from the encounter.

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2. First Night in Mykonos: Giggly Dinners and Mushrooms ([07:16] - [12:10])

Upon arriving in Mykonos, the group settles into their accommodations, leading to an evening filled with laughter and experimentation.

• Hallie: “We call it the dinner of friendship. I found some chocolates in my fridge before the trip...” ([09:25])

The night takes a psychedelic turn as Hallie and Lauren indulge in mushrooms, resulting in a mix of uncontrollable giggles and memorable conversations. Their altered state adds a layer of hilarity to the evening, making it a standout moment of the trip.

• Lauren: “It was the funniest, giggliest dinner and worst dinner.” ([09:52])
• Hallie: “The walls were just moving... I was kind of having a panic attack.” ([10:22])

Despite the initial chaos, the magic of friendship keeps the mood light, turning potential mishaps into cherished memories.

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3. Dining and Drinks in Europe ([12:11] - [14:07])

The group explores the culinary delights of Europe, though not without their fair share of critiques.

• Hallie: “All the drinks are, like, sugary, and there's no dirty martini in a 30 mile radius. And it's very upsetting and disappointing to me.” ([13:36])

Hallie expresses her longing for classic cocktails like the dirty martini, finding European bars overly sweet and missing the balance she enjoys back home. The group chuckles over their shared disappointment, bonding over their mutual preferences.

The dining experiences range from overly curated meals to dishes that leave them scratching their heads, adding another layer of adventure to their trip.

• Lauren: “And the worst food ever came out. Like, we need to clip the food. It was... It was an egg. Eggplant maybe.” ([13:05])

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4. Trip Dynamics and Friendships ([14:08] - [19:54])

As the trip progresses, the dynamics within the group become a focal point, highlighting the strength of their friendships amidst the chaos.

• Hallie: “I thought I was gonna be the annoying one because sometimes I can't sit still.” ([14:52])

Hallie discusses her tendency to be energetic and how the group's harmonious vibe makes the trip smooth sailing. They reminisce about their time together, from day parties to lounging on beaches, emphasizing the joy of shared experiences.

• Lauren: “We kept saying that nobody, nobody was annoying.” ([14:46])

The camaraderie shines through as they navigate various social scenarios, including making out stories and the occasional flirtatious encounter, all while maintaining a supportive and fun-loving atmosphere.

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Notable Quotes

• Hallie: “She hands me back my passport and looks at Gray and goes, are you gonna go? Or, like, are you gonna, like, go back home with her? Like, what are you gonna do?” ([04:48])

• Hallie: “All the drinks are, like, sugary, and there's no dirty martini in a 30 mile radius. And it's very upsetting and disappointing to me.” ([13:36])

• Lauren: “There’s no annoying anyone because nobody was annoying.” ([14:46])

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Conclusion

Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder delivers a relatable and entertaining recount of a Euro trip filled with unexpected challenges and delightful moments. Hallie and Lauren's honest storytelling, peppered with humor and heartfelt reflections, paints a vivid picture of their adventures in Mykonos. The episode underscores the importance of friendship and resilience, turning travel meltdowns into cherished memories. Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next installment, curious to hear more about Hallie and Lauren's unabashed escapades.

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Listen to the full episode on YouTube, subscribe for more unfiltered stories, and join Hallie and Lauren in their next Dirty adventure!

Transcript

[Sophie Brooks]

Sony Pictures Classics presents. Oh, hi. Directed by Sophie Brooks. Starring Molly Gordon and Logan Lerman, Iris and Isaac's first romantic weekend goes hilariously wrong as Iris tries to prove they're meant to be in increasingly ridiculous and irrational ways. This dark romantic comedy explores the highs and lows of modern dating situationships and the ways it makes us all a little crazy. A Sundance and Tribeca festival favorite. Catch Ojai. In theaters nationwide on July 25th. Visit ojmovie.com for more info.

[Hallie]

Meeting new people just got way more fun. Because now you don't have to do it alone. With Tinder's new double date feature, you and your bestie can match together. Tap the double date icon to see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the group chat kicks off. Scope the profiles, send memes, keep the chat fun. Hype each other up, flirt a little, maybe plan a hang. It's always better when you're in it together. Try the new Tinder double date. Explore all the possibilities. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. I'm not like a quick fuck. It would have been a whole night thing, period.

[Lauren]

She'll like, text me and be like, I'm just going to bed now. It's like 9am like, what were you doing? She goes all night. It's 9:00am.

[Hallie]

Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night.

[Lauren]

Hey.

[Hallie]

Hey. Welcome. Can you hear me? We're back.

[Lauren]

Extra Dirty.

[Hallie]

Extra Dirty. We're getting filthy.

[Lauren]

Nice.

[Hallie]

Can you hear me?

[Lauren]

Okay, that's really good.

[Hallie]

Welcome back to Extra Dirty. I'm here with my favorite Lauren.

[Lauren]

We have so much to discuss.

[Hallie]

We have so much to catch up on. We. I haven't sat down from the mic in, like, a week and a half, I don't think.

[Lauren]

And we've done so much. And that.

[Hallie]

We've done so much, we've conquered so much. We came, we saw, we came again, and we conquered.

[Lauren]

We've been in so many countries.

[Hallie]

I know. They almost didn't let me in the country of Europe, which I thought was very rude. I don't understand. Okay, so I have a passport that apparently is expiring. It says expiring on September 24, 2025. So you'd think that wouldn't be just, like, a suggestion.

[Lauren]

I don't. I still don't understand that.

[Hallie]

So it's actually not a suggestion. It's Kind of like a suggestion. Because, like, it. There's three month rules, and six months.

[Lauren]

It'S a suggested expiration date.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I'm like, wait, babe. So just went to Europe. We just went to Mykonos.

[Graydon]

We had the best time ever.

[Lauren]

We had the best time of my life.

[Hallie]

It really solidified, just the vibes. It was the best kickoff to the summer, the best people in the trip. I don't think eight people have ever gotten along so cohesively and pleasantly in.

[Lauren]

The history of people.

[Hallie]

In the history of people existing.

[Lauren]

No, it was like, let's just start from the beginning.

[Hallie]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Hallie]

I mean, the beginning was rough. I almost had a heart attack in the beginning. The beginning was rough of this passport situation.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Let me just tell you, my mom.

[Lauren]

Did all the research. Will hie be let in? And it was a yes. And then we get to the airport. I got a. I was there a little early. I got in no problem. Although it did say that we needed wheelchairs. We fixed that. And then hi shows up and take it away.

[Hallie]

So you showed up with your fiance? I showed up with my fiance, Gren. And we get to the airport, we're so excited. I dropped, like, so much money on clothes. So much money on the first class flight. Like, we put a lot into this trip, and we're so excited. We get to the desk.

[Lauren]

You packed, like, two weeks early.

[Hallie]

I packed. I was so excited.

[Lauren]

Like, okay, we're ready.

[Hallie]

And this woman at the front desk was ready to take away all my dreams and hopes. So we get to the front desk, and I was checking my bag as Graydon checks his luggage. And then I hand her my passport, and she goes, oh, my God. Like, you just missed the cut off. And I was like, oh, my God. And then she swipes it, and she goes, you did not make it. You could not come. Hands me back so casually. Just hands me back the passport and was like, no. And then she goes, I'm gonna try to call the U.K. and then pretends like, called the U.K. like, as if, like, Mr. Like, who king. Who's king there?

[Lauren]

The king.

[Hallie]

As if the king's gonna be like, canali come. And like. Well, she acted like the king said.

[Lauren]

No, I have a girl here with huge tits. Can she come?

[Hallie]

Yeah. She acted like I had cocaine stuffed in my fake implants. That's how she was treating me.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

She hands me back my passport and looks at Gray and goes, are you gonna go? Or, like, are you gonna, like, go back home with her? Like, what are you gonna do? And we were white as a ghost. I almost, like, threw up on her.

[Lauren]

And meanwhile, all I'm. All the. The texts that I'm getting are just, h, can't go. Like, hallie can't go. Yeah, that's it. And I'm like calling. No one's picking up because I was.

[Hallie]

Having a panic attack, Right.

[Lauren]

And I'm like, can someone pick up the phone? Because I know that they, like. I was like, where did you guys go? What lady did you guys see? Call me. Graydon calls me. Jordan had literally looked at me. He was like, I'm not going to touch this. I'm going to go into the lounge. You look like you're going to deal with this. I was ready to walk right back out of security. Like, you should have seen me. Hie. I wish you saw me because you would have hated it.

[Hallie]

You would have dropped a. But this lady just hand me back my passport as if, like, it was. Oh, sorry.

[Lauren]

Good luck.

[Hallie]

Good luck.

[Lauren]

Bye.

[Hallie]

Good luck on everything. Bye.

[Lauren]

Uber's outside.

[Hallie]

Yeah, you can leave that way. I was like, literally, go fuck yourself and die. I hope she's watching this. Die. No, I was just kidding. Die.

[Lauren]

So finally I get a hold of them and I'm like, where did you guys go? And they're like, we just went to the kiosk. I'm like, okay, you don't just go to the kiosk. We have first class flights. Go to this, like, premium check in. Talk to this guy. He just helped me figure out our. And he's waiting for you.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And you guys went.

[Hallie]

We go through. And like, he's like typing everything to the computer and he goes, have fun. And it was like, nothing. So it was just one girl at the random kiosk that, like, decided to, like, ruin my whole life. Didn't want me to go to the country of Europe. That. But the other guy was so nice and kind and was exuding kindness. What you do when you're going on a Euro trip to Mykonos with your besties.

[Lauren]

And I, like, stayed. I stayed on the phone with you guys while you were doing this. And all I heard when you got the passport back, just being like, have fun. All I heard was great. And on the other line being like, damn, she was right.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Because I know both of you were probably there, like, what is this person gonna do? Why is she sending us here?

[Hallie]

I just like, I almost threw up in that moment.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I almost passed away. Almost caused a scene. It would have been all over the Internet. I would have been that crazy Karen at the airport throwing bags. And imagine would have loved to see. Imagine. That would honestly been the funniest crash out ever. But I would have figured out a way to get. I would have had to, like, figure it out. But, like, I would have figured it out.

[Jordan]

We would. You would have figured it out.

[Hallie]

I would have.

[Lauren]

It would have, like, probably cost you, like, another 5 to 10k, but you would have figured it out.

[Hallie]

I would have come.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So anyways, we get in, and we're, like, all giggling about it. We're sitting in the lounge. I order, like, a massive glass of wine. It was, like, a half bottle. I'm, like, guzzling it down like there's no tomorrow. I'm so stress. My heart's, like, beating, like, 90 million beats a minute. And we're like, thank God we finally got through. So our flight gets called to board. And, you know, they, like, call people, like, when it's like, oh, extra security check for so and so on, like, the loudspeaker that the whole airport can hear. They're like, Joe Schmo, Teddy Krueger, Freddy Krueger, and then Hallie Bachelder, please come to the front desk. And I was like. And here we go.

[Lauren]

My heart sunk.

[Hallie]

Here we go. Jordan started praying. He got down to his knees. I thought he was gonna go down on Lauren.

[Lauren]

And they started praying, and they just looked at her passport, and we're like, here you go. Have fun.

[Hallie]

And I was like, God is testing me today. God did not want me to come.

[Lauren]

And then we land in Nice.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And we're going through. They have, like, the new passport control where it's, like, electronic now. And you, like, scan your passport. Alley's passport. It's so up, like, 10 years. 10 years of water damage on this.

[Hallie]

I know. I think I'm, like, six on it. Honestly, Like, I'm doesn't even look like me.

[Lauren]

And it's just, like, not. Not going through. Not no green, just red. And the security is like, come with.

[Hallie]

Come to the left.

[Lauren]

Come this way. We're like, they're not gonna let her in. Like, so. And then. And then you got there, and then it was, like, smooth sailing.

[Hallie]

And then it was smooth sailing. We had so much fun the first night. So how we did the trip is we all met a niece. We. It was me, Graydon, Lauren, her fiance, Jordan, and then Lauren, Alex Cooper's best friend. And we all met niece. And then we all. We just stayed there for one night and then took a PJ from Nice to mykonos to Mykonos. That took.

[Lauren]

That's, like 48 hours of my life.

[Hallie]

The first dinner, though.

[Lauren]

Yeah, the dinner.

[Hallie]

Friendship. We call it the dinner of friendship. I will say I found some chocolates in my fridge before the trip, which is just.

[Lauren]

This is mind blowing. Like, off brand.

[Hallie]

I never do shrooms.

[Lauren]

Completely. He showed up with, like, five different bags of shrooms. All different.

[Hallie]

We didn't take any of them on the trip, by the way.

[Lauren]

Only that first night.

[Hallie]

Only that first night in Nice before.

[Lauren]

Dinner on, like, four hours of sleep each.

[Hallie]

It was the funniest, giggliest dinner and worst dinner.

[Lauren]

Like, the food.

[Hallie]

I don't even remember the dinner because I was going so hard. We were all taking pictures. Like, I was tripping so much. Sack. I took the. I took the chocolate. Like, just, like, the smallest little corner before I took a nap. And then I woke up, guys. I woke up from my slumber, and all I saw it was like, the walls were just moving and, like, you could see texture and, like, they looked furry. And I was like, holy dog.

[Lauren]

Like, imagine waking up from a peaceful slumber. Hot, like, with moving walls.

[Hallie]

Like, it was amazing for that. I loved it, but I was kind of having a panic attack.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Because I don't.

[Lauren]

Like, you walked into my room, like, nibbling on your thumb. I was like, oh, God.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I was hungry.

[Lauren]

Oh. She was like. Like, I could tell something was.

[Hallie]

Your hair looks fucking crazy on shroom.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Hallie]

It looks like I could sail like a boat on your hair when I'm on the shroomies.

[Lauren]

So true. We were in.

[Hallie]

We weren't talking.

[Lauren]

Those kids were doing acid. They looked at me and they were like.

[Hallie]

I was like, because her hair is so beautiful. You should, like, do a Lancome Partnership or something. Tresma.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I cannot do shrooms and look at Lauren Fishman's hair. And I can be in the video and I'll just be like.

[Jordan]

No.

[Lauren]

But it's actually insane. Like, when people are high and they look at me, they're like, yeah, they run. Something is either like, I'm really. They run for me. Because, like, something like, there's like, snakes coming out of my hair. I'm turning into Medusa.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Tattoos, lots of gold, jewelry. You look like a pirate. Like Pirates of the Caribbean. You look like Sparrow or like, yeah, Jack Sparrow. Like, in a few. Yasi Chic.

[Jordan]

Yasser.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Yassify. Jack Sparrow. Beautiful and gorgeous.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Lauren]

But Hallie walks into our room and, like, I hadn't known that she had dumped Shrooms. And I was like, what? And then I got a text message. I was like, yeah.

[Hallie]

And then we all did it. It was the best, giggliest dinner. But I thought everything was so aesthetic.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

We were all taking, like, photo photos.

[Hallie]

Of, like, the wall. I was like, this will be great for the dump.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And then. And then we looked at the photo. It's like a. Oh, it's just like a.

[Hallie]

Let's clip.

[Lauren]

It's a cliff.

[Hallie]

We're gonna clip all the pictures of the walls we took.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

That we thought ate the house down. Boots.

[Lauren]

And then we all looked at them. They're like, half of them are blurry.

[Hallie]

The next day, we're like, what was in those chocolates?

[Jordan]

Y.

[Lauren]

And we were all like. We literally all were just sitting there trying to formulate conversation to which nothing was coming out. So we were like, maybe we should play a game.

[Hallie]

Well, someone suggested at the table of adults.

[Lauren]

We couldn't come up with a game to play, so we proceeded to sit in silence. And then we just figured it out. Like, maybe we should just talk.

[Hallie]

Well, no, someone suggested we play game. And I was like, I think it was great. I was like, how about we don't do that?

[Lauren]

Graydon wanted to play.

[Hallie]

Why would we play games?

[Lauren]

But then it took us, like, five minutes to decide on a game, and we couldn't even put that together.

[Hallie]

Everyone was high. It was crazy. But it was giggly and it was fun.

[Lauren]

And then the worst food ever came out. Like, we need to clip the food. It was. I'm not kidding. It was this. It was an egg. Eggplant maybe.

[Hallie]

I just think it was a little too, like, acquired foodie. It was, like, too, like Michelin.

[Lauren]

Michelin. And we were.

[Hallie]

It was, like, very curated.

[Lauren]

A lot of foam.

[Hallie]

A lot of, like. Yeah. Egg yolk. Foam.

[Lauren]

Foam.

[Hallie]

It was like a foam pit in my mouth.

[Lauren]

We're cotton, tomato and then foam.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

It was really strange. But the drinks were good.

[Hallie]

No, I. I think the drinks are great.

[Lauren]

Wait, one thing that I noticed. In Europe, all the drinks are just syrup.

[Hallie]

No. All that. All right, this is something I want to talk about.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

All the drinks are, like, sugary, and there's no dirty martini in a 30 mile radius. And it's very upsetting and disappointing to me.

[Lauren]

And they are like, and I want.

[Hallie]

To speak to the king.

[Lauren]

And I'm pretty sure, like, it's an olive region.

[Hallie]

No.

[Lauren]

You'd think in France.

[Hallie]

Well, in Greece, you'd think that there would be, like, they would just, like, pluck olives out of their. And like the, the oceans and the Poseidons and all like the, you know, like of olives. Olive oil. Isn't it found there? Yeah, you'd think there'd be an olive near the olive oil.

[Lauren]

Just to put my mark, why they don't. The last or on the last night. Our hotel was probably the only place that had a dirty martini.

[Hallie]

Hotel food was lovely. All right, let's bounce back.

[Lauren]

Okay, back we go.

[Hallie]

I'm getting carried away on the dirty martini rant now I want one.

[Lauren]

Back to nice.

[Hallie]

And then we went to the airport. The pj, that was the best. Yeah, three hour trip of my life.

[Lauren]

Oh, the boys were yapping in the back, the girls were yapping in the front.

[Jordan]

It was so much fun.

[Hallie]

It just like, everyone got along so well.

[Lauren]

Like, you would think that on a trip of eight people, someone would be annoying.

[Hallie]

We kept saying that nobody, nobody was annoying.

[Lauren]

Everyone was on the same page.

[Hallie]

I thought I was gonna be the annoying one because sometimes I can't sit still.

[Lauren]

Yeah, because you just wanna. You wouldn't want to go home, but.

[Hallie]

I was able to lounge on that beach.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren]

Wait, actually though, that needs to be studied because in our six years of friendship, I have never seen Halle on a beach or sitting still. Like one time at Coachella, Halle maybe walk 20, 000 steps just around.

[Hallie]

I have anxiety, OCD, ADHD. Should I continue?

[Lauren]

No, I got it.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So I can't really sit still. But I will say, you always say this about the Nantucket beaches because you're like, let's go to the beach on Nantuck. I'm like, you have to like, lug all the stuff to the beach. And then there's. Then I get a UTI cuz the sands and the crack. And then the ocean is cold and like, I have to go to the porta potty. There's no, like, nice luxurious bathroom nearby and there's no one, like, waiting on you. There was like servers. Like, we order a drink, have lunch. That was just like sprawled out for you. There was cabanas, there was shade if you wanted it. No shade if you wanted it. There was, there was. It was quiet.

[Lauren]

No, it was, it was actually. It was so perfect. Like every single day we had a lunch plan and every single day was day party.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like, we were supposed to go to like a day club situation. I think every day except for the first day and every morning we'd wake.

[Lauren]

Up and be like, guys, should we just hang out by our beach?

[Hallie]

Hang out on the beach.

[Lauren]

And there was.

[Hallie]

And no one wanted to be the one to suggest it. And Alex would always be like, hey, guys, I have a plan.

[Lauren]

She didn't want to like.

[Hallie]

And I have an idea. And we're like, thank God you said something. Because I literally couldn't imagine going to Skilos or Kalos or whatever. The Scorpio.

[Jordan]

Scorpio.

[Hallie]

Well, love Scorpios. But like, that was the last night. Last night we sent it.

[Lauren]

Sent it.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I drank all trip.

[Hallie]

You did drink.

[Lauren]

And for some reason I didn't wake up with a hangover there.

[Hallie]

I. Because there's something about the European sun that just cures you. There is something about hangovers in the summer. I will say I'm less likely to have a debilitating hangover like on Nantucket or like when it's hot and beautiful out. If I get outside and walk around.

[Lauren]

I'm like, I will die.

[Hallie]

No, but like, if you like touch grass, literally, and like ground yourself and like the earth cures. It cures you.

[Lauren]

It cures. Can't wait.

[Hallie]

Some fresh air.

[Lauren]

No.

[Jordan]

Fine.

[Lauren]

That's true. In like a pool. Like cold water.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Can't really submerge in the middle of winter in New York.

[Hallie]

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[Lauren]

Incredible hours together in, in the PJ. Yeah, we me and Halle like made a notes list of all the stories that we came like that just like were brought up that we had to share with you. This was brought up on the flight cuz one we were worried that we were gonna like. We didn't want to turn up the music. We didn't want to disturb the captain. We, you know, all of a sudden the plane is like bouncing up and down. They have to land it for us.

[Hallie]

So I mean when would that have happened?

[Lauren]

It wouldn't. But you know, we, that's how we kind of. We were joking. No.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And that's kidding.

[Lauren]

And this is how we got into it was when I was a Bucknell, the, the juniors and seniors, they would always go to like put to Connor or cover or some like that.

[Hallie]

And let's talk about the Bucknell boys.

[Lauren]

The Bucknell boys. And actually so funny. I think the same Bucknell boys were actually in Mykonos with Chizzy Mo like a week later his post.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

So those same Bucknell boys, it was this frat. Bucknell. Fiji. Fiji.

[Jordan]

Frat.

[Hallie]

Fiji frat. At Bucknell we're looking at you.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

They were always like a little bit of a problem causing something.

[Hallie]

But weren't all frat boys a problem? Was it the lacrosse frat?

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So they went to Picana for spring break and I think one of them, two of them, something like that were so barred out on this flight that they started. One of them started peeing on the Flight attendant.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like, this is.

[Hallie]

They're gonna love the fact that you're bringing up this story.

[Lauren]

I also, like, hope that I'm retelling it accurately because I never got to go on one of those trips. But this is what I heard. And I think I was a Jew senior when they were junior. So this was happening in junior year. And they were peeing. They, like, peed on the flight attendant because they were so up.

[Hallie]

Weren't they, like, hitting on the fighting?

[Lauren]

They were hitting on her. Then they repeat on her.

[Hallie]

How did they go from hitting on her to pe? They progress.

[Lauren]

They got more and more barred out.

[Hallie]

Did they peed on. Did they pee their pants? Maybe.

[Lauren]

I think they were, like. I don't know. I think they, like, were trying to pee, and then maybe she was walking by. Maybe they peed on her. Or maybe she saw them peeing in their seats. Something along those lines. But they had.

[Hallie]

He was involved.

[Lauren]

He was involved. And they had to emergency land the plane, like, somewhere in Dallas.

[Hallie]

Didn't they have to, like, strap them down?

[Lauren]

I don't know, but maybe that would be really funny.

[Hallie]

Seat belt.

[Lauren]

That would be really funny.

[Hallie]

I don't know. Maybe I'm just embellishing the story now.

[Lauren]

They were straight jacketed to their chairs.

[Hallie]

No, that would make a better story.

[Lauren]

But they had to emergency land this plane. And when you are the reason to an emergency landing, you have to, like, cover all the hotel costs for everyone, for everyone on board, and then also, like, get new flights. And then I'm also pretty sure that this kid is also banned from whatever airline it was in. Which I think it was, like, Delta, wasn't it?

[Hallie]

Oh, that sucks.

[Lauren]

Like, Delta are like, something like that. Like, it was a nice airline, and I'm pretty sure they're banned. And I think his dad was not happy. Not happy.

[Hallie]

Now we can joke about it because it's so far in the past. I'm, like, trying to, like, figure out what vibe I'm on this summer because I feel, like, a little bit asexual right now.

[Lauren]

Let's talk about that as well. On the trip. Jordan.

[Hallie]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren]

Jordan was like. Jordan was shocked by you. He literally looked at me at one point and was like, halle can have any guy she wants.

[Hallie]

That's so nice of him to say.

[Lauren]

So kind. Did.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And he was like, but look at her. And you're, like, pretending to give, like, great and head or something like that. And he's like, but look at her. She wants nothing to do with them. And I was Like, I know I'm.

[Hallie]

On a girls trip with everyone I love, everyone I love in the same room. We have Matt, Alex, Lauren. We have Lauren, my Lauren here. Jordan in Great Inn, who's really like my boyfriend.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

He's like, we're in a lavender marriage.

[Lauren]

Oh.

[Hallie]

I'm like, I don't want anyone, like, penetrating this circle at all.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Because God forbid you miss the. After, you know, the post. Post game.

[Hallie]

No, God forbid I miss an inside joke that you guys giggle about on the beach the next day. And then we can't all giggle together because I'll feel like I missed out.

[Lauren]

That is such friendship.

[Hallie]

That is friendship to its core. But I'm also like, I was just being for the girls on that trip. Really?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I thought it was gonna be a makeup.

[Lauren]

There was a lot of men.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I remember the. The owner of the so hot. So hot. But I remember he was buying me a drink at the bar and all. I wasn't even making eye contact. Was like looking.

[Lauren]

Was literally looking.

[Hallie]

Scan. Scanning the room.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

H was looking for us.

[Hallie]

Cuz I love you guys.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Hallie]

And you guys are my friends. I don't care about, you know, Thornos or whatever his name was.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

No, you wanted nothing to do with it. And every night we would just come back. We would. And we wouldn't leave too late. We were like ending our nights at 12:30. And then we would go and post game in the hot tub all together.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And you would fall asleep on the. On the concrete.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And we'd continue chatting and then we'd go to bed. Do it all over again.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Speaking actually of you and your boyfriend Graydon, we were in this like, private little speakeasy that we found which everyone should go to if you're in Mykonos. It's called Bolero, I think.

[Hallie]

And very. Can't see.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it was Valero. It was sick. And I'm looking like me and Halle, you know, we give a little peck to each other. We're so happy to be there. I'm like, love you. And then all of a sudden, I think Graydon felt left out. So he.

[Hallie]

It wasn't all pack. We were like making out.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I think we started making out and I don't know.

[Hallie]

That's what we do.

[Lauren]

I don't know why. Like, we started making out.

[Hallie]

Honestly, that's what a girls trip is about. You can't with your girls.

[Lauren]

And we. It was more of just like a I love you. No, it's like love you so Much. I'm so happy. My mouth open and Graydon felt really left out. So all of a sudden I look and Greedon so sensually, like, grabs Halle's face.

[Hallie]

Like the nape of my neck.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like, turns her to the side.

[Hallie]

Like, he dipped me.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Goes in. And I was like, oh, he's just gonna give her a little peck. This man fully puts his tongue down Halle's like, throat and comes back for air. And I look at Hallie. She had a smile. She was like. And all of a sudden she's like.

[Hallie]

It was really inappropriate.

[Lauren]

She's absolutely horrified. And I look at graded and he's like, great.

[Hallie]

And get your tongue out of my mouth and don't ever do that again.

[Lauren]

Graydon's like, hair tossing and absolutely horrifying.

[Hallie]

Green wanted everyone to make out.

[Jordan]

That's it. Yeah.

[Hallie]

Remember when Matt tried to set me up with Phineas and Ferb?

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

That was really bad.

[Hallie]

The private equity guy.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

That lied about having a house on Nantucket.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You were like, what's the address? And he was like.

[Hallie]

I go. And then he looked at me as if I, like, wronged him. I was like, normal. Follow up question. I said, where in Nantucket? Like, that's kind of like what you do.

[Lauren]

Then you just, like, pull up a map.

[Hallie]

And then he just googled, like, Nantucket and just like, pulled up map and just, like, clicked on something.

[Lauren]

He was so weird.

[Hallie]

He was so weird and his teeth were all up.

[Lauren]

People are so weird. Like, how do you not have any social cues that we experience is this.

[Hallie]

Weekend he started singing opera.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. He did.

[Hallie]

No, he started.

[Lauren]

He's an opera singer.

[Hallie]

Like, it was crazy. And. And then we were like, all going back because, like, Lauren, like, fancied his friend. Not this Lauren. Alex is Lauren fancied his friend. So we all, like, walk back to the Sprinter and he's like, singing opera all the way back to the Sprinter. Alex looks at him, is like, no, stop. You're not going on this van if you keep singing opera.

[Lauren]

And Matt was like. And the man, the guy was like, Matt. And was like, like, is it bothering you? And he was like, it's not bothering me, like, personally, but. But don't with my wife.

[Hallie]

Do not. With my wife.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

He pulls my side.

[Hallie]

He's like, bro, that, like, didn't really bother me that much, but, like, don't. Don't with my wife. And he was like, iconic. He was like, period. And then he ended up hooking up with, like, one of the girls that was like, friends with the girl that, like.

[Lauren]

Oh. That the other guy brought home. So he ended up getting lucky.

[Hallie]

Yeah. But, like, he was weird. He was really scary.

[Lauren]

I thought he was a friend of Matt's. I didn't realize he was a friend of the guy that Lauren was trying to get with.

[Hallie]

I think Matt found him when, like, him and Lauren went hunting.

[Lauren]

On hunting. Yeah. I was like, lauren, I'm not. I like, I'll come hunt with you guys.

[Hallie]

That first place, what's it called? It looked like it was like all guy groups. It looks like Bonnie Blue's waiting room.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I have.

[Lauren]

I have a photo of it.

[Hallie]

We'll.

[Lauren]

We'll cut it. It's just a sea of bald men. It was.

[Hallie]

It was insane.

[Lauren]

It was actually like a little worrisome.

[Hallie]

It was like, kind of in mind if maybe Bonnie Blue was upstairs. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

Bonnie Blue was on stage.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I like, talk about her a lot on this show. Like, I talk about her a lot.

[Lauren]

But, like, Bonnie Blue follows extra dirty.

[Hallie]

I don't know what that. I like, kind of like love that, by the way. Like, I tell people that often.

[Jordan]

Often.

[Hallie]

She might unfollow us now, but, like.

[Lauren]

She'Ll probably love it.

[Hallie]

But it was fun. Like, the whole trip was so much fun. Gained a whole new love for Alex and Matt. Lauren, like, I feel like I love them before. I love them even more now.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Like, obsessed with all them. And Lauren is so funny.

[Hallie]

Lauren's my favorite human being.

[Lauren]

Actually underrated. How funny she is.

[Hallie]

No, like. Like that needs to be studied.

[Lauren]

How funny she is on the last. On the last day when they were leaving, we were so free.

[Hallie]

Like, she's like, wow.

[Lauren]

Yeah, she's so free. That's a good way to put it.

[Hallie]

Very free spirited, which I love.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And on the last day, we were just like. She got so drunk on the last night before they left. And the next day we were just having our little yap session, talking about the night, and she was like. She was like, what'd you guys end up doing? And she's like, oh, like Max went you to the hot. Was with you at the hot tub. And we were like trying to. We were like, lauren, you were there. She was like, what?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And then she remembered that she fell into the bushes while leaving our. Our villa.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And she was like, oh, my God. I have some memory of it. I'm like, oh, my God, Lauren, I.

[Hallie]

Almost, like, died in that hot tub. Remember? You almost killed us. Yeah.

[Lauren]

I had to go to bed and I was like, Jordan, please watch her. Like she's gonna. She's gonna fall asleep in there. You need to.

[Hallie]

Well, I have my tits that were keeping me afloat. But like I was passing out in the hot tub and then you almost like threw the charger in there.

[Lauren]

Oh my God, this was so funny. I was so drunk on that last night. Cuz we went to Scorpios and it was the best, best night of my life. Like I actually, I love Scorpio. Don't think I stopped jumping up and down for 20 minutes. For 20 minutes. For I mean, four hours. But Jordan has this massive block charger.

[Hallie]

Sorry, sorry.

[Lauren]

He has this massive block charger that has a wall, a socket outlet, like four different. Whatever.

[Hallie]

Just this huge big charger.

[Lauren]

Big charger. Like not a little portable, mass portable. And I. And I had a computer and I had it plugged into my phone and I'm in the hot tub not realizing my surroundings. And I like take my arm and I go and I move it over the water.

[Hallie]

I don't think that would have done anything.

[Lauren]

I think it would have killed us. Really. Halle. That was basically a microwave being dropped into and it's literally dangling off my phone above the water. And me and Max lock eyes and we're both like so drunk and we're like. Oh like after like probably 10 seconds of this killed us. I almost killed at least three of us. Me, you and Lauren would have been electric.

[Hallie]

You know, I would have gone first.

[Lauren]

I would have like just made it.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I would have not sustained. I can barely sustain wind.

[Lauren]

No, it was.

[Hallie]

Let alone that.

[Lauren]

And no one, no one reacted to it. Like other than me and Max. We were like. And he was like, oh no.

[Hallie]

I don't think I saw no one.

[Lauren]

Yeah, thank God. That would have been really.

[Hallie]

I was probably like this.

[Lauren]

No, you were.

[Hallie]

We kept waking up every day and be like, I'm so happy to be here. How depressed was I the last day?

[Lauren]

Oh my God.

[Hallie]

I almost like she was not okay.

[Lauren]

I've never seen you like that.

[Hallie]

It was like I was coming off Molly. I was like, did I do Molly? I felt like that was the come down. I was so sad to separate and like everyone was going in different directions and like I didn't leave my apartment or talk to anyone for three days after. Yeah, I was really down bad.

[Lauren]

I didn't know what to do with you on the last day. Again. You were like.

[Hallie]

I was anxious. Well, I've been drinking. I was on a bendiana.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you're. It's my favorite is when you, like, look at me for help.

[Hallie]

You're like, lauren, well, I needed help.

[Lauren]

You help me. I'm like, sure, what is it? Can't say no to that.

[Hallie]

Well, you like to read when I need help. And I'm like, put your book down.

[Lauren]

Oh.

[Hallie]

And you're like, I had like 40.

[Lauren]

I had literally 40 pages to go. And you were like, lauren, I was like, hold on. This book is making me mad.

[Hallie]

I was having an attack the flight back. They almost didn't let me back in the U.S. the lady looks at me and goes, please, your passport.

[Lauren]

Please work on that. Like, shut the up.

[Hallie]

I was like, you know, why do you think I'm leaving? Anyways, Montauk, let's talk about it.

[Matt]

Bachelor in paradise is finally back and we're shaking things up. Our young singles are joined by Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette alumni. And it's all taking place in Costa Rica. With new compatibility challenges, even the strongest relationships will be tested. But don't worry, there'll still be plenty of steamy romances and explosive drama because finding love in the sun always comes with a little shade. Catch new episodes of Bachelor in Paradise Mondays at 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[Graydon]

This episode is sponsored by Shopify. Our favorite. From a hobby to empire, Shopify is the best place to start, grow and manage a business. Basically, Shopify is the e commerce platform behind all the big brands you love. And you, my listeners, can start a business on Shopify too. This is for all the entrepreneurial baddies listening. With Shopify, you don't need a huge team. You can create and manage a business all from your phone or laptop. We all know we live on our phones and with Shopify, you can tag and sell your products globally and across all major social media files platforms. Building a global empire has never been easier. As you guys know, I was just in Greece with Graydon and Alex and everyone, the whole squad. We had the best time. And it got me thinking. With Shopify, I could be out by the pool with a teeny in hand managing a business on my phone. I've seen how seamless attracts orders, inventory. Have a photo gallery and everything truly is all in one place.

[Hallie]

It's amazing.

[Graydon]

Whether you're just wanting to test it out as an idea or you're getting serious about launching your own brand. It's never been easier to get started on shopify.com extra dirty that's shopify.com extra.

[Hallie]

Dirty bessels I kissed a boy Holly.

[Lauren]

Kissed a boy, Only kissed Actually, I.

[Hallie]

Would have done more if you guys weren't in the room.

[Lauren]

I know. I was so weird. Like, I literally screamed at him. Not at him. I weird me. I was weird. I screamed at all of us.

[Hallie]

Why?

[Lauren]

I don't. I was like, let's run it back. Talking about last year, Montauk, when you brought a guy home and me and Liv went into the shower to let you guys do your thing, and I just screamed in the middle of, like, our grouping. Like, run it back.

[Hallie]

I can't perform knowing that you guys are, like, hiding in the bathroom.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Hallie]

I would have done it in front of you, like, college style.

[Lauren]

College style. Me. And I would just been, like.

[Hallie]

He would have been annoyed. Look at her, the noise. He was cute, though.

[Lauren]

So cute. Halle, I'm obsessed with him for you. No, like, I'm actually obsessed. He is so cute.

[Hallie]

I feel like you guys just want me to, like, have a boyfriend.

[Lauren]

No.

[Hallie]

Because I'm the only one that doesn't have one.

[Lauren]

No.

[Hallie]

And I, like, don't like that being pushed on me because I do not want one.

[Lauren]

I agree.

[Hallie]

This is propaganda. I will not fall for.

[Lauren]

I strongly disagree. If it was anyone else, he's just, like, so perfect for you in the sense that he has a normal job.

[Hallie]

Yeah. He's not. He doesn't have an octo buddy.

[Lauren]

Hopefully he has a normal job. I think he's going to be really successful. I think he comes from a great family. He is friends with Jordan.

[Hallie]

Sounds like you want to him.

[Lauren]

He's friends with Jordan.

[Hallie]

You want to swing.

[Lauren]

He literally looked at me and was like, I know Jordan. Like, we've met before. And I was like, here, Jordan has no friends.

[Hallie]

Here, stars are aligning.

[Lauren]

He was like, me and Jordan do work together. I was like, yeah.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God.

[Hallie]

I know.

[Lauren]

And he's so cute.

[Hallie]

He's cute.

[Lauren]

And I think he. He was looking at you with, like, there's, like, hearts spewing out of his eyes.

[Hallie]

I was aggressively making out with this man all night.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And then Halle.

[Lauren]

This goes back to Halle, like, not wanting to. Like, wanting to be part of the conversations on the way on the post game. Halle is full on making out with this man in the. In the Uber ride home. And every 15 seconds, coming up for air, say something.

[Hallie]

I didn't want to, like, be left out of their conversation because I missed you guys.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So she would be mid make out and then be like, well, actually on one more thing.

[Hallie]

I had things to contribute to the conversation. Okay.

[Lauren]

He was like, can you Come here. And you were, like, hanging over the back of the. Of the seats, looking at us being like.

[Hallie]

I know. There's definitely a video of us making out.

[Lauren]

A short one. A very short one.

[Hallie]

Yeah. That made me think, like, because you're recording us making out. And I've been watching Love island recently. This is so random that I'm thinking about this. Like, I don't know if I could, like, make out with someone on screen like that. Like, I would not be able to watch myself.

[Lauren]

I mean, they also make.

[Hallie]

Some of them are really awkward.

[Lauren]

So weird.

[Hallie]

So awkward.

[Lauren]

Why do they.

[Hallie]

They kind of miss each other.

[Lauren]

Oh. And a lot of them.

[Hallie]

And then I'm like nails on a chalkboard to me.

[Lauren]

The ones that lead with tongue.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Go, Landria. Like, literally, I'm like, what the.

[Hallie]

Not you clocking Alandria Happening.

[Lauren]

No, I actually have paused it to look because I'm like, this is ridiculous. Like, her tongue is like.

[Hallie]

I'm like, yeah, I have. I just can't. Whenever they make out, I look away.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Hallie]

Yeah. I like, don't. I skipped that part. When I watch porn, I like, like.

[Jordan]

What?

[Hallie]

It's true. Do you watch the first six minutes of a porno?

[Lauren]

I feel like some people do to get them to.

[Hallie]

No, I skipped to, like, six minutes, 30 seconds.

[Lauren]

I feel like some people started watch porn just for the storyline. Sunny.

[Hallie]

So production gets it. We're getting a knot in the back. But, like, come on. Like, do you watch the part where they're, like, entering the room?

[Lauren]

Hi, how are you?

[Hallie]

Hi, how are you? I am your boss and I'm mad at you. Get on the desk.

[Jordan]

Desk.

[Lauren]

I'm here to fix your tv.

[Hallie]

Like, I don't want to see them kissing and they undress. Like, I don't even care about, like, him going down on her. Like, just get to the good parts.

[Jordan]

Get to them.

[Hallie]

But you don't even watch. No, that kind of porn.

[Lauren]

That's not the kind of porn I watch.

[Hallie]

You, like, girl and girl porn? Like, why? Can you tell me why?

[Lauren]

Because I just feel like.

[Hallie]

No, I don't. I think it's a very relatable thing for. I think I'm in the minority here.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you're, like, watching, like, massive.

[Hallie]

I watch very interesting genres.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you watch what Jordan watch?

[Hallie]

I watch some crazy.

[Lauren]

Watch what? Like men watch Strong men.

[Hallie]

I just like. Yeah, yeah, it's dark. But, like, I just like the central stuff.

[Lauren]

I like the central stuff. And I also, like, okay, like, both people here are, like, winning. And sometimes when I'M watching like a male. The big dick, like the whatever. The big BBC and whatever else you want to call it. The girl looks like she's in pain. No, the girl looks like she's in physical pain. I like it when they're, like, both enjoying themselves.

[Hallie]

I like to see someone's like, get their absolutely rocked.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Bachelor in paradise is finally back, and we're shaking things up. Our young singles are joined by Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette alumni. And it's all taking place in Costa Rica. With new compatibility challenges, even the strongest relationships will be tested. But don't worry, there'll still be plenty of steamy romances and explosive drama, because finding love in the sun always comes with a little shade. Catch new episodes of Bachelor in Paradise, Mondays at 8.7Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[Alex]

Surprise beach day. No excuses.

[Lauren]

I'm in. Gimme five.

[Alex]

With Bix Soleil Glide Razor, you'll have hydrated, smooth skin that's ready to go on the fly. No shave cream needed. You can prep, shave and hydrate all in one step thanks to moisture bars that hydrate your skin during and after shaving. 5 flexible blades hug your skin for a close shave. Glide into smooth. It's your time to shine with Bixsol A buy now at Amazon and Walmart. Ready? Your skin looks amazing. So smooth and beach ready.

[Sophie Brooks]

Let's go.

[Lauren]

Can we talk about the pain story?

[Hallie]

What pain story?

[Lauren]

Greyden's friend.

[Hallie]

Now that we're talking about pain and.

[Lauren]

People that get off to pain, I.

[Hallie]

Get off to light pain. Like spanking, choking, all those things I get off to. Graydon was telling me a story about someone he knows that hooked up with someone. Yeah, okay. And the guy was like, I can't get hard unless I'm, like, in dire physical pain. So this is what I want you to do. I want you to put my nuts in between the toilet seat and I want you to just slam down on it with you. And so this girl, she was like.

[Lauren]

How can I help you get hard? And here's like, here's what you use, the formula.

[Hallie]

So this guy puts his nuts in the toilet and this girl is going off slamming. She, like, as hard as she can, nuts down.

[Lauren]

He, like, teabagged the toilet and she.

[Hallie]

Just went in crushing his nose.

[Lauren]

And then he was hard as could be.

[Hallie]

And then he got hard and they. She, like, said she didn't mind it, apparently.

[Lauren]

I think if someone asked me, I don't know how I would react. If someone asked me to do that.

[Hallie]

I would probably do.

[Lauren]

You would do it?

[Hallie]

I would do it.

[Lauren]

I think I would probably be like.

[Hallie]

I would enjoy doing that. Crushing a guy's nuts. Are you kidding me? I would have to be really dream.

[Lauren]

I would have to be really drunk. Soberly.

[Hallie]

I would be like, what's the weirdest thing a guy's ever asked of you?

[Lauren]

I wish in my past someone had asked me something really weird so that I could have reacted to it, but I just. I never crossed one of those guys. I don't know. My ex was really boring. I asked him to pull my hair once, and he was like, what? And that was. That was my ex. So nothing ever happened there. And then all the other guys I got with, I was kind of, like, drunk, and I think it was normal.

[Hallie]

Yeah, that sounds really boring to me.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I'm trying to think of. I. After last episode, I went home to Jordan. I was like, we're gonna. We're gonna role play once. He was like, okay, yeah.

[Hallie]

I've, like, never. I mean, have I role played. I'm trying to think.

[Lauren]

I think I actually want to. I think it would be really funny and fun.

[Hallie]

I feel like you're gonna do it.

[Lauren]

I'm gonna do it. It's gonna be funny.

[Hallie]

What role do you want to assume? You've thought about it. I'm sure you've already ordered an outfit. She's on bucket right now.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I'm gonna, like, post some Instagram in it.

[Hallie]

No, literally. You should film it and show me.

[Lauren]

I will. I think I want to. I don't know. I haven't. I honestly haven't thought about it that far, but I want to be, like, some kind of, like, Slavic.

[Hallie]

Like, I think you should do, like, a red wig.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Remember that red wig?

[Hallie]

I did a lot of lipstick.

[Lauren]

Like a Russian spy.

[Hallie]

And, like, meet at. Meet at, like, the Spaniard.

[Lauren]

Wait, I have an amazing idea. I'm gonna be, like, a Russian spy. I'm gonna be a Russian spy. And we're gonna have, like, all these, like, code words.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And he's like, an American and, like.

[Hallie]

Go to Shay Margot.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And he's like, you're gonna see me.

[Lauren]

There, and you're gonna come to me and be like, hey, fish.

[Hallie]

I'm like, I am Svitlana.

[Lauren]

Not tonight. Not tonight. This is Sheet. Oh, this is another. We were talking about this last time that everything. My parents, like, whenever something's bad, they go, this is Sheet. And Graydon loved it so much. All trip, he was like, food, drink, stairs, wind, Sheet. It was Just so funny. So if you see me in a red wig at Shay Margot, don't come up to me.

[Hallie]

I can't say hi.

[Lauren]

I'm in full character.

[Hallie]

I can be your accomplice.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you'll be my little German spy.

[Hallie]

Sometimes I want to make a sex tape and, like, release it.

[Lauren]

Wait, we actually talked about this?

[Hallie]

Yeah, I think it'd be good for my.

[Lauren]

But what was your. Wait, let's not, like, tell the people now, because maybe you actually will do it.

[Hallie]

What?

[Lauren]

To launch. Holly was like, I'm gonna start a company and launch it with my sex tape.

[Hallie]

I would do that. Yeah, but, like, what company am I. When we were talking about a company.

[Lauren]

We were talking about it with the vodka. You were like, I'll just be like. I'll be standing over some guy pouring the vodka on his body.

[Hallie]

I don't remember this, but, like, yeah, that would work.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I'm just, like, myself in the ass with the bottle.

[Jordan]

Yep, that's exactly what you said. Yep.

[Hallie]

That would be beautiful. But I think I would lose some brand deals.

[Lauren]

You were like, it's gonna be, like, produced, like, the J. Alvarez one.

[Hallie]

I think that was really smart, the.

[Lauren]

That we talk about. Like, I hope no one overheard us on the plane.

[Hallie]

What were we talking about on the plane?

[Lauren]

This.

[Hallie]

I mean, I just, like, we talk about sex a lot. We talk about cream pies a lot.

[Lauren]

We talk about cream pies. We really.

[Hallie]

I love a cream pie.

[Lauren]

We really are sex in the city, Carrie.

[Hallie]

And, yeah, you're a little more wholesome than me, but you still like sex. But, like, not really. You only had sex once on that trip.

[Lauren]

Okay, it's not that I don't like sex. Sex. I. When I'm drunk, I don't want to.

[Hallie]

Like, that's when I get the most, like, creative.

[Lauren]

I know. I know. I. I know. I agree.

[Hallie]

I'm like, but I know.

[Lauren]

No, no, I completely agree. But me and Jordan, like, do not. Like, we need our rest. So we've been. And we've been dating for so long now that, like, we both are gonna get drunk. We both know we can't finish. Do we want to not finish, or do we want to just, like, go to bed? We're gonna choose bed. But sometimes if it's an earlier night, we'll get creative. But we were going to bed so late there, and we were waking up so early. We were.

[Hallie]

We were.

[Lauren]

We were waking up, like, 8:39. I was like, I rather. I kind of. I value my sleep over how creative we can get in Greece right now.

[Hallie]

Value sleep over sex.

[Lauren]

At this point. Yeah.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

See, I'm like, during the day.

[Hallie]

Remember when I was going on that bender when I was just having a complete fast with that guy? I wasn't sleeping for days.

[Lauren]

What guy?

[Jordan]

The guy we were.

[Hallie]

The bender.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but you were also, like. It was, like, fresh and fun. I don't know if you.

[Hallie]

I would do it again for a check.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Honestly, I'm glad that it ended, because I was, like, going 48 hours with just, like. And then not sleeping or eating.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And just, like, up all night doing God knows what he was not good for. And a lot of cardio.

[Lauren]

And a lot of cardio.

[Hallie]

A lot of cardio.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

No wonder your phone was on do not disturb and I didn't hear from you for 48 hours.

[Hallie]

Yeah, but I was enjoying myself, and I was coming, and I had no.

[Lauren]

Idea that he was even there.

[Hallie]

It's funny because, like, when I hook up with someone, like, I don't tell you.

[Lauren]

You don't tell me.

[Hallie]

I'll be like, do you know Greg? And she was like, who are you talking about?

[Lauren]

This guy I got with. I was like, huh?

[Hallie]

Like, the guy last weekend. She's like, who the are you talking about? Like, I have so many random side quests, like, no one knows about, and.

[Lauren]

You talk about them so casually.

[Hallie]

I just, like, in my head, I, like, told you, right?

[Lauren]

We.

[Hallie]

I was like, I should know about Greg. I, like, want to have, like, a. Like, a fling this summer.

[Lauren]

I think. I think it should be sexy.

[Jordan]

We'll see.

[Lauren]

Sexy. Hampton's man.

[Hallie]

It has to come naturally. It can't be pushed on me or I will resent him.

[Lauren]

Well, you saw the text messages. He actually suggested it. He. Jordan texted him. Because I texted. I was like, jordan, we had the most fun with him. You know him, you work with him. You.

[Hallie]

He's gonna love this episode.

[Jordan]

Yeah, you're good.

[Lauren]

Well, we're talking all good things. And, yeah, I was like, you. Oh, Jordan's gonna love this episode.

[Hallie]

No, the kid we're talking.

[Lauren]

Oh, the kid we're talking about.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I was like, can you text him that? Like, we had the best time with him. And Jordan texted me, like, the girls loved hanging out with you, and he suggested, like, a proper double date.

[Hallie]

So on this double date, how does payment work? Because usually when I go out, boys pay. Oh, is that how it's gonna go? Because Jordan, usually Venmo requests me.

[Lauren]

No, no.

[Hallie]

Very at speed.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I'm looking into Camera one at you. Jordan requesting me.

[Lauren]

He does do.

[Hallie]

At the speed of lightning.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but I do that too. But you're a girl.

[Hallie]

You're a girl.

[Lauren]

He would. They. The boys would cover our meal.

[Hallie]

Okay.

[Lauren]

And then Jordan would probably.

[Hallie]

Oh, because Jordan's covering your half.

[Lauren]

And Jordan is covering my half. And then he would cover your half.

[Hallie]

He. He might not like that. We're already assuming he's gonna pay for half the meal.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Which one?

[Hallie]

The one that we haven't even gotten out. Both of them.

[Lauren]

The one that doesn't know that he's going on.

[Hallie]

We're already, like, planning how they're gonna Venmo. Request each other.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like, yeah, put the cards.

[Lauren]

Jordan will request him. Jordan will put his card now to get the point. Maybe it'll be a. Maybe it'll be. Maybe he can expense it. Maybe it'll be a work. A work.

[Hallie]

I mean, it technically could can he expensive.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I'm technically software on at their company, so maybe. And you're a client. I'm a client, so maybe that's kind of nice. I'm the only one that's gonna have done that.

[Jordan]

Pay.

[Hallie]

It's a business meal.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Lauren]

But I really love this idea of a double date.

[Hallie]

And I think.

[Lauren]

And I'm actually not pushing him on you. I think you just. I think he's the kind of guy where, like, he was watching you and you were being you, and he was just smiling. Oh, that's sweet.

[Hallie]

You know, I was really up.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And he was like.

[Hallie]

I remember him just being like, exactly.

[Lauren]

And I was like, you're like, exactly. And he was like, oh, she's so cute.

[Hallie]

I need to, like. I'm trying to, like, cut back on drinking this summer when, like, after the holidays, after the 4th, and then there's like a week after that.

[Lauren]

You're so funny when you're like, I'm not gonna drink till Tuesday.

[Hallie]

I am not gonna drink until tomorrow until Tuesday. Well, I have events and stuff, but, like, I don't want to, like, I do get a little dependent on alcohol to be social and, like, loosen up a little. Cuz I get anxious.

[Lauren]

I get that.

[Hallie]

But that's just me being real. But, like, I don't want to, like, be like that. Most people are like that, but I don't know if most people would admit that. And I do a lot of. I go to a lot of social events, so I don't want to feel, like, super dependent. And I think I need to, like, cut back on drinking martinis. Maybe Just like drink white wine or something. Maybe I'm going to try to do that in Nantucket so I can. So I can at least see straight. Like, I think that's what scares off guys a lot. Imagine like you see a pretty girl from the back of the head and then just like turn around.

[Lauren]

I'm like, holly, the other day was being so funny. We went to dinner with one of our friends and he. His bit sometimes is just to kind of be like, like kind of like the bit is like they're gonna end up together one day.

[Hallie]

I don't think it's a bit. He wants to me.

[Lauren]

He wants to you, but he makes it into a laughing matter. And how he was looks at him and she goes, one of these days it'll happen. But you should pounce when I. When you can't make eye contact with me.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I said you strike when my eyes are going in different directions. That's when you strike. And then you penetrate.

[Lauren]

Like, that was so funny.

[Hallie]

Yeah, that's true though.

[Lauren]

That's so true.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

This is so funny.

[Hallie]

It was hilarious.

[Lauren]

It was so funny the moment we all. We were all dying laughing.

[Hallie]

But like, I want to be able to like also like see into the crowd.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And like hunt fair when I'm at a level of like drunkness. I just literally want to talk to Lauren and whoever's like in with it. Just Lauren. Actually, I don't want to talk to anyone else.

[Lauren]

I know you start to look at me. That's kind of in the past when back in the day when we were going out a lot like you would. I knew you were ready to go home when you only. We would only talk to me.

[Hallie]

And you just like me always like that though. And now it's Jordan and now it's Liv. And like on the trip it was Alex, Matt and Lauren. Like I just wanted to like, talk to guys and like if another guy try to like come in and like take time away from me talking to my friends, then I would get sad and annoyed and then he would root. But I need to be better just being like more open, I guess.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Cuz when was last time I had sex? Am I in a drought? I am in a little bit of a drought. I had sex last month.

[Lauren]

You would have had sex this weekend if we weren't. Weren't in the room. Like if we weren't all staying in one room together, you would have had sex.

[Hallie]

I had a feeling that was gonna happen.

[Lauren]

That.

[Hallie]

That I would be confronted with dick and I wouldn't be able to conquer it because of the rooming situation.

[Lauren]

I mean, that's fair. If you had gone to bed with him while we were outside by the fire. But you. You didn't want to miss the friendship time.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I didn't want to miss friendship. Also, like, I'm not like, a quick, oh, it would have been a whole night thing, period production.

[Lauren]

You do go until like, four in the morning.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

She'll, like, text me and be like, I'm just going to bed now. It's like 9am like, what were you doing? She goes all day. It's 9:00am what, you're, like, going to.

[Hallie]

Work on, like, a random Wednesday? I'll be like, I haven't slept yet.

[Lauren]

Yeah, no, this is actually true. Like, Halle, it was 11:00am no.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I remember. And I had to go meet up with my parents.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I was, like, strung the out.

[Lauren]

It's like in the office.

[Hallie]

I had bruises all over my body. My neck was, like, broken. I was, like, hanging from the chandeliers, chain smoking cigarettes all night between, like, having sex on the rug because he.

[Lauren]

Was afraid of beds.

[Hallie]

My legs were all, like, cut up.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Hallie]

I had low iron, too, so I still do, but, like, I was really bruised.

[Lauren]

You having sex is like someone going to war. Like, I'm actually, like.

[Hallie]

It is.

[Lauren]

It's like me being kidnapped.

[Hallie]

I'm like loki and dragged. I'm, like, animalistic.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

It's insane.

[Hallie]

I. I don't know. Either that or I'm like a dead fish.

[Lauren]

Or I'm just. Or I'm just like a dainty flower. I don't know.

[Hallie]

I'm also just like, can be thrown around easily.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

You kind of need a lot of muscle behind picking me up.

[Hallie]

I wasn't implying that, by the way.

[Lauren]

What?

[Hallie]

That there needs to be a lot of muscle to pick you up.

[Lauren]

Oh, I didn't think that you were.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I think a really skinny man could pick me up.

[Lauren]

I think so, too.

[Hallie]

I think Jordan could throw me the roof and make an impression.

[Lauren]

Jordan would throw her literally through, like, to the.

[Hallie]

To the roof actor.

[Lauren]

Wait, can we talk about the lake house? And you'd be like, you're hot. You're so hot. Oh.

[Hallie]

When I hit on Liv's boyfriend before they were dating. Before they were dating?

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I was so high, and I'm not good high. And I was like, story makes it.

[Lauren]

Seem like you get high all the time. She does not get high all the time.

[Hallie]

There's very. And these are reasons why I Don't.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Hallie]

This is one of them.

[Jordan]

Exactly.

[Lauren]

We're all playing cards.

[Hallie]

We're all so stoned. I was trying to like, fit in with the boys and like, be so pick me and like smoke with the boys. And like, I got really stoned with the boys and I just like looked at Lauren's friend who is now dating Liv.

[Jordan]

He's.

[Hallie]

He's very attractive. And I just like had thought in my mind as I was looking, I was like, you're hot.

[Lauren]

No, but she like sitting. She's kind of like sitting back into. Into like a sunken couch and she gets up. You physically stood up.

[Hallie]

I don't remember this part.

[Lauren]

Like, you're so hot.

[Hallie]

And then I sat back down and no one reacted. Cuz everyone was high too. And Lauren was just like, that was really embarrassing.

[Lauren]

And I was not. And so I was like taking it all in and watching and I was like.

[Hallie]

Maybe later.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And he was like, he's like, scared of me.

[Jordan]

He might be.

[Hallie]

No, like he used to be. Maybe not anymore. Now that we know him well.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Hallie]

Like he used to like, look at me like, like so scared. Like, as if I was gonna bite his head off. Ali, am I a scary person?

[Jordan]

No.

[Lauren]

He's just. Just so, like, he's so.

[Hallie]

He's just a sweet.

[Lauren]

He's just so sweet.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And I'm like aggressive, I guess.

[Lauren]

Yeah. He's so not used to it. And he was.

[Hallie]

He looks at me like this. Like how you look at strangers.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like homeless men that scream at you and you're like. Yeah, yeah, that was.

[Jordan]

That.

[Lauren]

That was funny.

[Hallie]

That was fun.

[Lauren]

We're gonna. We're gonna run that back.

[Hallie]

Yeah, we're gonna run the cash back.

[Lauren]

So much fun.

[Hallie]

Okay. Lauren.

[Lauren]

Hi.

[Hallie]

That was a beautiful episode. And I just like love sharing all these memories. We have to there.

[Lauren]

Okay. We will.

[Hallie]

I think we will if a bus doesn't hit me tomorrow.

[Lauren]

Our problem is that we actually. We in. In. How do I say this? Like, we always have so much to talk about, but then when we actually come and sit down, it's all happening in the moment and we're like, we need to get better at writing it down.

[Hallie]

I was so good about writing things down on that trip.

[Lauren]

You were writing everything down.

[Hallie]

I was like, write that down. Scribble, scribble, imagine.

[Lauren]

I like, come out with a pen and a pencil.

[Hallie]

No. Yeah, you should just bring your computer every. Like, you should have brought your computer to Scorpios and we should have been building that episode right then and there. But anyways, we're gonna make this into two episodes because we didn't realize how much we were yapping for. So come back next week for the second half. We talked about there was no stopping us. There was no stopping us this episode. I'm scared for the text I'm gonna receive, but this is fun. As always, you can watch me on YouTube, like, subscribe, comment. I love you guys. And as always, I'll see you next week. And this was so much fun.

[Lauren]

Bye, Lauren.

[Hallie]

Say goodbye.

[Lauren]

Bye.

[Hallie]

Goodbye, Kyle. Love you guys.

[Alex]

Surprise beach day. No excuses.

[Lauren]

I'm in. Gimme five.

[Alex]

With Bic Soleil Glide Razor, you'll have hydrated, smooth skin that's ready to go on the fly. No shave cream needed. You can prep, shave and hydrate all in one step thanks to moisture bars that hydrate your skin during and after shaving. 5 flexible blades hug your skin for a close shave. Glide into smooth. It's your time to shine with Bixoil. Buy now at Amazon and Walmart. Ready. Your skin looks amazing. So smooth and beach ready.

[Sophie Brooks]

Let's go.

[Lauren]

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Jordan]

Oh, right this way.

[Alex]

Who me?

[Lauren]

I can stream shows at at 30,000ft.

[Hallie]

And I was able to buy reserve.

[Lauren]

Tickets for my favorite band.

[Matt]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer. At T Mobile, VIP means y o u. Check out the VIP treatment at T mobile.com benefits.

[Sophie Brooks]

Summer Heat Gotcha Melting. Time to feel joyfully chill with my mochi ice cream. Mymochi is little scoops of cool, creamy ice cream wrapped in soft, chewy dough. It comes in tons of amazing flavors like strawberry, mango and cookies and cream. Gluten free and just 70 calories a piece. Mymoji's the perfect snack for pool days, sunsets and just soaking up the backyard vibes. When the heat's on, grab a purple box of Mymoji ice cream and treat yourself to a moment of joy.