← Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Spilling all of my FIRSTS
00:48:03
Hallie is back for a sexy, love-filled solo episode!! She recaps a romance-soaked weekend at a recent wedding (yes, she was by far the drunkest guest) and dives into her hottest wedding takes: destination weddings, kids or no kids, cash vs. physical gifts, and the terrifying possibility that she might have to give a speech at Lauren’s wedding... and she’s scared. Then Hallie answers YOUR questions: everything from communication around sex to sex tapes and more. Plus, she spills on all of her firsts: first drink, first hookup, and even her first time clubbing! Enjoy cookie! It's Extra Lovey-Dovey! Follow @extradirty on socials to keep up with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming.
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Transcript30 lines
- [00:00]
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Hallie Bachelder
Grezza extra dirty with Hallie Bachelder is brought to you by Tinder. We know that your person doesn't just fall out of the sky. I remember when I moved from Boston to New York. The I if I had used Tinder, maybe I wouldn't be single right now. You know, Tinder. Maybe it turns into a great story. Maybe it turns into something even better. You'll never know until you match. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Don't download the app today. Okay, Kids at weddings, this is like, I don't know, this is a toss up to me because, you know, you need the flower girls. Although I think I decided I'm gonna have a flower gay. I just want Gren to like walk down the aisle and just like throw petals at people's heads. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. How is everyone doing? I literally just hopped off a flight from New York. It was a 6am Little bitch ass. I've been awake. I haven't slept in 24 hours and I feel amazing. I thought we would start this episode with a little shot of Tito's just to get the creative juices flowing. And I feel like there's that's the only way I can get through this right now. Not to sound like a alcoholic, but like that's Literally the only way I think my creative juices will flow. And also, I know these episodes come out on Thursdays, so, like, have a shot with me if you're watching. Like, why don't we do that? Let's start Thursday off. Let's have a. The weekend's right around the corner. Let's have a good time. Okay, this is a fat shot. Production's trying to kill me. Tito's or hand sanitizer? I haven't decided yet. All right. Okay. So where should we start? I want to start with talking about love. Okay, let's start this episode. It's brought to you by love and being in love. And the fact that it was thrown in my face so much this past weekend needs to be steady. My best friend got engaged. I touched on that a little bit on last week's episode, but it officially happened, so I want to touch on that a little bit. I also went to a wedding on Saturday, a beautiful influencer wedding. My friend J? Jaz got married. It was honestly one of the most stunning venues I've ever been at for a wedding. I haven't been to many weddings, but this wedding in particular is beautiful. Apparently it is where Taylor Swift recorded the Blank Space music video or something like that. Something a swifty would know, but she is a swifty and she was loving that. The weather was supposed to be so bad and she got. What's it called? An Etsy Witch. It was supposed to be raining all weekend, so she went on Etsy and got this witch to perform like a. A hex or something so it wouldn't rain. And it fucking works. So now all of her TikTok, it's like, viral about this, like, Etsy Witch. And I've seen so many videos about being people, being like, oh, my God, I was trying to gatekeep this witch on Etsy and now, like, Jazz exposed the witch because it worked. It was supposed to be like torrential downpours. And she was like, no, like, this Etsy witch is going to, like, get me through the weekend. It was blue skies and birds fucking tweeting. It was gorgeous weather. So everyone in Montauk, everyone in Nantucket was like, thank you, Jazz, for the beautiful weather this weekend because it was due to that fucking Etsy witch. So this wedding, it was full of influencers. We were calling it the Influencer Met Gala. And it was honestly really fun to see influencers in a setting where they weren't there for work or, like, any deliverables or, like, having to be professional in A setting where like, you're surrounded by a bunch of people that work with brands and like where you have to kind of be buttoned up. So it's really nice to see these influencers, like let loose a bit, you know, hit the vino and drink the wine and have a shot of tequila and kind of be like menaces. And it was lovely to see a lot of people were just getting organic content. I know I've, I saw a lot of comments, people being like, oh my God, everyone's phones were out, blah, blah, blah. And there were so many tick tocks. I'm like, influencers are influencers because they enjoy creating content. That's how they got to where they are. So the fact that there was a bunch of like videos and organic content from that weekend and people are like, oh my God, everyone on their phones. I'm like, that's what they love doing. So like, let them cook. They have a podcast, Jaz and Hallecade. They have a podcast called Delusional Diaries. And I remember seeing a clip on my for you page and it was like, who's going to be like the drunk at the wedding? And they thought it was going to be like me or, or this guy named Keon. And trust me, guys, I was fucking cross eyed. My glasses had to stay on the whole night. I was running around like, just like a chicken that just got her head chopped off. I was running around the wedding like the Tasmanian devil. I was a force to be reckoned with. I couldn't tell you how many cocktails I had. And yeah, it was a great time. And they have such a, like cute little love story and they seem so in love with each other and I'm really happy for her. So that was Saturday, the night before Saturday. Friday night, my best friend Lauren got engaged. And the thing is with engagements, I don't know, you know, it's hard to say because I'm so single, but like, I'm trying to think about what kind of control or input I'm gonna want to have into my proposal because I feel like she, my friend Lauren, took so much like creative control and guidance over her own proposal. And like, how much do you want to like leave that up to the guy or, or like do you want to plan out what weekend you're getting engaged and how you're going to get engaged and who's going to be invited to your engagement party? Like, how much does a guy actually have say in that? Like, I know he didn't like have much say in like what the Ring even looked like. Like, she even built that herself. It's a beautiful ring, and I guess she's the one that has to wear it. But it was interesting to see because I was like, lauren, like, stop stressing out about the engagement. It's going to happen at, like, before the end of May. Like, she knew that. And she. She was like, if it's after May, like, I'm gonna be so fucking mad at you. She was, like, giving him shit for the past month, but I'm like, like, let him get down on one knee when he's, like, ready to get down on one knee, you know? Like, if you know it's gonna happen, does it really matter how it happens? Like, I'm really wondering. Like, let me know, because I feel like, for me, I just care about getting the piece of jewelry. Not, like, I wouldn't really care about the setting it's in or, like, when and where it's happening. If I know it's gonna happen, then I feel like that would make me happy. We went to a decoy dinner. We brought her out, and then he had this little setup on the roof. He didn't even have a photographer or anything like that. It was a very private moment. He even texted me before being like, wait, could you, like, Uber package, like, a tripod to me? Because, like, I want to, like, record it on my own phone. I'm like, get, like, an octo buddy. Stick it to your phone and, like, put it in the corner. I don't know what to tell you, but he did a good job, and hopefully he only has to do that once because it was stressful for everyone. But she's happy. She's engaged now. So after that Sunday, we went. I ubered to Connecticut after getting back from Long island, where my. Where the wedding was. I ubered back, and then I had to uber back to Connecticut to go to the engagement party, which was lovely, and again, beautiful weather and just, like, lots of love. And I'm really happy for my friends that are successful in their romantic lives. But, yeah, that, like, leads to me, like, another, like, question I thought of, because she's like, oh, obviously you're going to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. And I was like, huh? Like, do I have to give a speech? Like, where's the bachelorette party going to be? Like, are you doing a destination wedding? These things sound expensive at the end of the day. And I love to celebrate my friend's love, but I'm, like, kind of like, I don't, like, love public Speaking. And I'm wondering if anyone's, like, ever, like, obviously, I'm gonna do it. And I'm like, I was watching Hallie Kate give the maid of honor speech for Jazz, and it was so cute. She was so nervous beforehand, but she absolutely ate that up. I'm like, what if I do it and I, like, can't deliver? Like, I, like, second guess myself, especially when it's something that's, like, you know, sentimental and close to your heart on, like, subjects of, like, love and stuff. Like, I'm gonna have to, like, be reading it word for word. I even told her, like, maybe we could do that, like, teleprompt thing where I record it beforehand. Maybe I'll, like, whip out production and, like, get podcast equipment and, like, just do a little segment on my podcast, and then we'll just, like, put it on a teleprompter for everyone at the wedding. I was like, that even would be a better idea, but, like, I'm gonna probably just have to bite the bullet. But I don't know. Like, I wonder. And this made me, like, lead to think, like, I wonder if anyone's been asked to be a bridesmaid. Not saying I would ever do this. Like, obviously, I'm going to be the maid of honor in a wedding. But it made me think, like, say you're not that close with someone, and someone asks, will you be a bridesmaid? And I feel like sometimes people must do that just to, like, fill, you know, bridesmaid slots. So I don't, like, I wonder how close these people are to some people in these bridal parties. Like, is it ever appropriate to say no? Because, like, if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid, it's so different when it's a maid of honor. But if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and I was, like, not that close to them, I think I would say no. That's, like, an expense. Not that I'm, like, cheap or anything, but, like, it gets expensive. Also, it's a lot of work and planning, and I'm a very type B person. And, like, if you're not that close to someone, like, how do you say no? Do you just say you're busy or that you just don't want to spend the money? Like, I'm wondering, is that rude? I don't know. I'm just, like, asking myself questions out loud right now. But I feel like there must be a way where, like, you can turn down being a bridesmaid or sometimes it's like even inappropriate for a bride to ask you to be a bridesmaid if it doesn't make any sense.
- [11:19]
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Hallie Bachelder
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Hallie Bachelder
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Hallie Bachelder
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Hallie Bachelder
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Hallie Bachelder
I'm trying to think about what else happened at the wedding. There was like a lot of hot guys there. Like low key. Like I feel like if I wanted to, I probably could have made out with someone on the dance floor. Also there was like no adults. Like I didn't see adult in sight. Now that I think about it, it was like everyone was 27. I swear everyone was between the ages of 24 and 30 and it was like almost like, like I'm trying to think now. Like obviously there was like the parents were there, but other than that I feel like there was very limited real adults there. It was really fun. Like I would go again. I get why people have weddings now. Like I get why people throw the party. Like it it was like an open bar which by the way is my worst enemy because they will always, they will ruin the day because they always conquer me. I can't like be around an open bar. There was an open buffet. There was like A dessert table. There was cigarettes. I brought those, I think. But, like, I don't know. But a lot of people were staying. It was at a castle. And a lot of people were staying in the rooms of the castle. So a lot of people, like, just kept, like, venturing all around. We'd go, like, to people's rooms and touch up and, like, you know, take some shots and yada yada, bing bong. And then we come back down to the dance floor. The DJ was really good, but there was definitely some talent at that wedding. Now, there was this one guy that was really cute, but, you know, there was, like, a lot of pretty girls there. Obviously. It was like, all influencers. So I don't know. I was also just saying, like, I feel like everyone right now is getting engaged and married. And I was just telling someone that, and they're like, just wait. Next it's going to be like, baby showers. And I said that if one of my best friends got pregnant right now, I would be, like, mad at them. Is that okay? I'd be like, what the fuck? I would be, like, mourning a death almost. Because I would be like, we can't go out anymore. Like, your life's over. Goodbye. Goodbye to the streets. Like, once you have a kid, I feel like you have to, like, do kid stuff. Birthday parties and not the kinds I like to attend. Who's gonna go to Gospel with me? Who's gonna go to a little sister with me? You can't bring a baby at a Zero Bond. Like, these are things I think about. I'm also, like, trying to think now, like, when I get married, because the day will come, I'm gonna lock down one of these at some point and they're gonna have to deal with me. Okay. At least for my first marriage, because, let's be honest, I'll probably have two. Like, will I be a bridezilla? I try to think about that. Am I gonna be like that annoying zilla where I'm gonna be like, I'll probably want most creative control over my own wedding. Because, like, men don't have good taste in this. And if they do, I don't know if we're batting for the same team, babe. You know, like, weddings are, like, such, like, a curated, like, acquired, like, personal touch of personality and style and aesthetic that you all want in one big bunch. Like, I know LA is already planning our wedding and she's meeting with venues next week. I'm not even fucking kidding. She's the most type A person. I'm type B. Which makes me a little bit nervous, honestly. Lauren will probably be helping plan my wedding, but honestly, I feel like it depends who you marry. I could get married at Home Depot and probably be happy. Okay, let's do wedding hot takes. The first one is, if you can't afford to pay for your bridal party's dresses, don't make those dresses mandatory. Yeah, I think I agree with this one. If, like, you really want a specific dress. I mean, the wedding I was just at, the dress code was black, which I loved because it's so easy to find a black dress. And it was also, like, chic. It, like, was the whole aesthetic. Like, the only person wearing a different color was jazz and everyone else was in black. I feel like for bridesmaids, there should be, like, a limit to how much you spend if you're making them pay, if that makes any sense. I feel like a color scheme you can choose. You can choose the shade of what dress you want your bridal party to wear. But everyone has different body types, too. Not every dress looks the same on everyone. And I feel like people should be shopping for their own body types and not have to, like, conform to, like, what the bride wants. Like, I feel like if. Does that make sense? Yeah, I feel like that is a bit on the controlling side if you're, like, dictating what your bridesmaids are wedding wearing. And yeah, I also agree. I feel like people should be shopping for themselves and what looks good on their body and not have to all wear the same thing. I feel like everyone's wearing the same thing. You, like, kind of look like penguins, you know, like penguins in a row. Like little ducks in a line. Like, everyone has their own personal style, and that's how they should shop for the right. Like, you know, they're paying for it. And if you want them to wear a specific dress, you should be fronting the bill, and that's how I feel about it. Oh, he'll do the next one. Sunday weddings. I don't want to be hungover on Monday. People have work. I don't, but people do. Other people have work on Mondays. Also. There's something about being hungover on a Monday that's just, like, very dark to me. I feel like Sunday weddings shouldn't be a thing. Saturday weddings are fine. No, Saturday weddings are ideal. I feel like everyone has weddings on Saturdays and Fridays. Like the travel day where people get to the venue or whatever, usually, typically. I also am not the biggest fan of people having weddings on holiday weekends. I don't love that. But it usually works out that more people can attend because they have more time to travel and stuff. So I guess if you are doing a destination wedding, a longer weekend works. But yeah, I would say no for Sunday weddings. Okay, next. The bridesmaid should pay for the brides portion of the bachelorette trip. I've seen this go both ways where it's like, the bridesmaid should pay and, like, the bride shouldn't have to pay that much. I've seen, like, people do that, but I feel like if you're like, picking like, Ibiza and you're like, making all your bridesmaids, like, buy their own plane tickets and all that and, like, go out there, you should be at least running, like, the villa. Okay. Like, to stay, because, you know, I feel like that's a little, like, out of touch. Just be expecting that everyone's in the same budget because we're not, you know, and you just have to be, like, a little bit self aware when it comes to that stuff. But then again, I've never been married. I probably would make my friends go to Ibiza, and if one of my besties couldn't afford to get on a plane and go to Ibiza, then I would front their bill or make my husband do it because we're marrying rich out here. That's what I would do. I would make my husband pay for the. The girls. That's what's gonna happen one day. I'm gonna be like, honey, you're paying for everything. Thank you. Next one. If you're the maid of honor, you have to give a speech. I feel like unfortunately you do. Although I'm scared to and I don't want to. But, like, I love my friend more than it outweighs me being a little scared to give a speech in front of a group of people about love and romance in their story. And these are two of my best friends getting married. So, like, I feel like it would be so wrong if I didn't give a speech. Like, I'm gonna give a speech. I want to make that very clear. Like, I will be giving a speech, but I'm just scared too, because then people are, like, listening to you and, like, it's like, from the heart. Like, I know what I talk about, like, dick. And, like, what if I see the wrong thing in front of, like, the parents and the grandparents? We all know Memorial Day weekend, what happened? That's the couple I'm giving a speech for. So they all know our background story. So, you know, I feel like it depends No, I. I feel like it doesn't depend. I feel like you should give a speech if you're a maid of honor and you're only gonna have to do it once and you should just suck it the up. And at the end of the day, giving a speech in front of a big crowd of people is a good life skill to have, so, you know, you just gotta bite the bullet and take it on the chin. But yeah, I do feel like you have to give a speech. Okay, next one. The groom doesn't have to be involved in the wedding planning. If they're bad at planning, I don't think they should be involved. They should mind their business and just give them like front their credit card. That's how I feel. Like, what, what, in what world do men have like anything to do with a wedding? I feel like that's kind of odd, to be honest. Their only involvement should be passing over their credit card. And I'll stand by that. I just. A wedding, yes, it is a celebration of like two people's love, but I feel like it's for the girl at the end of the day. Like, if it were up to the men, I don't even know if they would be, you know, willingly spending that much money on a party. Unless maybe they will. Maybe they want to do that. Maybe. That's sweet. But I feel like if it means more to the bride, the bride should have more say in what goes on. And I feel like, you know, women just pay attention more to detail than men do. Sometimes it's all in the details. So, yeah, I feel like men should just kind of like, you know, have light opinions, but I kind of keep their hands off of it. At the end of the day, if you have a gluten free guest. So your cake should be gluten free. No. Nine times out of 10, that's their choice. They can bring their own gluten free cake from Stop and Shop. I don't give a. But like, I'm not. Like, what? You can't please everyone all the time, okay? And you're probably gonna have more non gluten free guests than gluten free guests. So please the majority of the people and not like unless someone has like a severe allergy, maybe get like a baby cake on the side. But you know, at the end of the day you can't please everyone. Like everyone's gonna have some sort of like dietary restriction. It's 20, 25. That seems to be like the way it goes. Okay, kids at weddings, this is like, I Don't know. This is a toss up to me because, you know, you need the flower girls. Although I think I decided I'm gonna have a flower gay. I just want green to, like, walk down the aisle and just, like, throw petals at people's heads and, like, be like, downing nips and stuff and just like, ripping it and strutting down the aisle. I think for my wedding, I would only have kids there if it was, like, they're related to me, like cousins or if my siblings had kids, like, obviously they can come. But I feel like for the welcome party, absolutely not. There should be a 21 and up situation. But for the actual wedding day, I feel like you could have kids, babies. I don't know. You don't want a baby crying. Like, if you're gonna bring a baby, that's your responsibility. And if they start crying during the ceremony, I feel like you should at least be aware of, like, the nearest exit to handle that. So if you're bringing kids, that's your responsibility. And, like, make sure, like, your guest knows to, like, be handling and surveillancing the situation. I've been a kid at a wedding though, and I feel like I was fine. But honestly, weddings are only fun if you can, like, get up. Unless you're putting Rob into their, like, little pacifier and their baby bottle. But, like, at the end of the day, like, weddings are fun because it's like everyone's getting drunk and like, celebrating love. Like, kids won't get that. Okay, next. Cash gifts are better than physical gifts. I feel like kind of. Yeah, I've heard, like, a lot of people just wanting money. Weddings are fucking expensive. I feel like it's also easier just to write a check. No one wants, like, a new bowl from Williams Sonoma, you know, Unless there's like a. What are they called? Gift registries. Yeah, I mean, I would just be like, write me a check. Cut me a check so you can, like, make some money back from the wedding. I mean, I don't really need gifts. I'm trying to think about my own wedding, my hypothetical wedding. I don't know. I guess it depends on, like, the specific wedding, but I don't. I think wedding cash gifts are better and they're easier and more convenient. You can just hit the Zell, hit the Venmo. It's like, you know, less hassle, less thinking. When is it acceptable to ask to bring someone as a wedding date? You know? That's a good question. I feel like it really depends on, you know, the bride or like, whoever's wedding. Like, sometimes people are really weird about plus ones. Sometimes they offer them but, like, that's another plate of food. Like, people off the front. That's like another cost. And you don't like to, like, add an extra expense on a random dick that you just slang last weekend. You know, like, if I was hooking up with a guy for, like, probably three plus months, I would want to bring him to a wedding as, like, I feel like that's fun, like, and flirty and like, would like, maybe convince. I don't know. I feel like it could be kind of fun to like, bring a situationship as a wedding guest, but then it could get confusing afterwards because weddings, like, are really, like, you're surrounded by so much, like, love and romance. Do you really want to bring a situationship there? Unless you're, like, trying to trick them into, like, wanting to date you. That would be the way to do it, honestly. But I feel like it depends on, like, the bride's tolerance for a plus one. I don't think I even had a plus one at the wedding I was supposed to go to last year. I think they gave me the option, but, like, I'm not gonna bring like, Joe Schmo I fox last week. That would just be weird. And then I have to deal with his ass all night. I'm not doing that then. Then I'm babysitting. At the end of the day, I don't want to babysit a man when I could be running around a wedding with my favorite gays. That's what I was doing. Me and Bran were just like, the drunkest at the party. Just like running around, taking shots, drinking wine, ripping up the floor. It was so much fun. Like, I couldn't do that if I had to deal with the man in the corner. Anyways, that's my take on that. Let's go into the next segment. As temperatures rise, it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with not just summer essentials, but versatile pieces for every season ahead. Quinn's pieces are timeless, lightweight, and far more elevated than anything else at this price, like 100% European linen shorts and dresses from $30 Luxe Swimwear, Italian leather platform sandals, and so much more from Quint is half the cost of similar brands because they work directly with top artisans and cut out the middleman, giving you luxury without the markup. I just got a summer shipment from Quint, including an adorable lightweight blanket that will be perfect for those summer nights on Nantucket. That can be a little Bit chillier. Give your summer closet an upgrade with quint. Go to quince.comextradirty for free shipping on your order in 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com extra dirty to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com extra dirty extra dirty with Hallie Bachelder is brought to you by Tinder. We know that your person doesn't just fall out of the sky. I remember when I moved from Boston to New York the I if I had used Tinder, maybe I wouldn't be single right now. You know Tinder. Maybe it turns into a great story. Maybe it turns into something even better. You'll never know until you match much. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download the app today. Okay, next let's go through like you guys DM me all the time. Like I said, always feel free to DM me. I screenshot them, send them to my producer. We have a little giggle because you guys are insane. But let's go through a few of these and I'm reading these raw dogging them. I haven't read through them in depth help yet so I will give my honest and true opinions on these and see like what kind of input I can give. The first one is Hallie, I need your help anon please. I've been seeing this guy for a while and everything is great. But when we were first hooking up, he told me he isn't able to come because of a medication he takes. Assuming it's antidepressants he's still able to get and stay hard in the sex is great. He reassured me that I'm good in bed and that it's just medication but that he still enjoys the act of it. But how do I a not feel self conscious that I can't make him come because I haven't a need to please people real and B how do I end sex? Stop making him feel bad and awkward because he'll pound me for like 20 minutes. Which just isn't it for me. No one likes the bunny rabbit treatment, babe. I get it. This is a tricky one because I'm sure this guy is into you and this is something he has to like deal with in every situation. I mean it sucks if anyone's on like Prozac, Zoloft, any antidepressant. Yes, you need it for your mental health, but it does affect other bodily functions. I've been on Zoloft before and usually I have the easiest time finishing, but I remember when I was on that medication, it was extremely hard to finish, which can be not only frustrating for, like, you know, the person who can't finish, but it's also frustrating for the other party involved. And I'm sure he's super self conscious about not being able to finish. And I bet you're super self conscious about, like, you know, not being able to, like, make him finish. I'm the same way. Like, I personally love, enjoy, like, sucking a guy off until completion. And if I can't do that, like, I don't even want to have sex with them, to be honest, because that's, like, kind of my thing. And if a guy can't finish for me, like, what are we doing here? It's like I get off to them getting off, and if they can't get off, like, like, that's like half, you know, half the climb here. But then again, this is a medical issue, and I'm not, you know, slandering medical issues. We all have. You know, I probably should hop on antidepressants at the end of the day, too. So, like, I feel for our boy here, but you shouldn't have. You shouldn't feel self conscious about this. No, and I also feel like you shouldn't. It could be selfish to say, but, like, I feel like you shouldn't have to tolerate that if you don't want to. Maybe it's not the right guy in the right time. I mean, maybe he won't be on antidepressants forever. Is that bad to say? But, like, getting pounded from, like, from the back for 20 minutes straight. I would rather read, and I don't like reading. I would literally rather read a book. I'd rather read, like, a book. That sounds horrible. That's some frat boy. I don't like. I don't like that. But if he's a nice guy, I mean, maybe it'll change, but, like, probably not. And you got to take things at face value. And I mean, have you suggested maybe he goes down on you or, like, get really good with his hands because there's no reason. Yeah, maybe he can't finish, but there's no reason he should be pounding you from behind for 20 minutes just so, like, that's selfish on his part because we all know doggy style is a finishing move. It's like a finisher. Like, that's how guys finish, which is why he's trying to, like, get himself to finish. He's being selfish. It's making Your sexual experience gets worse for it. So if he's gonna want to choose that position for, like, an allotted amount of time, he should at least be, like, making you finish before he resorts to that. I would take control of the situation. Be like, listen, buddy. Listen, buckaroo, I know you can't finish, but, like, go down on me for, like, 20 minutes if you're gonna pound me from the back for 20 minutes. Or like, what better vibrator. Don't even tell him. Be like, listen, I'm finishing and I'm not leaving until I do. Stand on business. Stand on these bitches necks. What? You should be finishing every time, whether he has any involvement in it or not. He might just be a beating heart near you at that point, a warm body right next to you, and to swipe out your favorite vibrator and look at him in admiration and pretend like he's doing it. But, like, take charge and communicate. I always say. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Like you can't read your mind either. Like, a lot of these guys don't know what the fuck they're doing. He could be, like, really wanting to please you too. I've ever thought of that. Like, maybe he, like, really wants you to finish, but, like, doesn't have the tools or doesn't know how. Clearly he doesn't know what he's doing if he's pounding from behind for 20 minutes. I'm going to say that one more time. Just tell him what you like. Or at least, like, push him in the direction. Steer him in the right direction. But I always say, like, in the situation where, like, you're not finishing, he's not finishing without a vibrator. Did she say she's not. I don't think if she's getting pounded. I just know she's not finishing if that's the position they're choosing. Yeah, yeah, I just know she's not finishing. I'm assuming under the assumption if you guys are just doing doggy, that you're not finishing, but maybe you are. I'm also a people pleaser. Like, I want. I get gratification out of, like, seeing someone else finish, but if he can't finish and he's telling you it's because of his antidepressants, and that really bothers you and makes you feel insecure. Choose yourself. Always choose yourself first. You don't want to feel insecure when you're having sex with someone. That's the worst ever. And, like, you know, maybe just, like, part ways. Okay, next one. Hey, Hallie. Need Your extra dirty advice. In the past month, three of my sneaky links have asked me to make a sex tape with them, which is kind of baffling. Men love fucking sex tape. These fucking weird freaks. I have crazy amazing sex with each and one of them. Girl, fudge. You like with each and one of them. So it honestly be down. But at the same time, I'm a bit hesitant because I only ever been filmed sex with my long term high school boyfriend, never with a casual. Is this a normal thing that people do? Have you ever made a sex tape with a casual hookup? Almost. God, I've made sex tapes with everyone. It's actually a problem and a king of mine ever. Like every casual hookup I've ever had, I'm like, whip out the camera. I do have a podcast. Like whenever a camera is out, I feel like I perform. I kind of look at sex tapes the same way. It's like almost like I'm on a stage and I just like love the idea because like these are going to this bank bank. Like these videos are going straight to this bank bank. And there's just something a thought of a guy like, you know, like jer off or whatever to like a sex tape of you like sucking them off or whatever. That just makes brings me gratification. But that is me. And I feel like I'm probably not in the majority there. I feel like people are very hesitant, even with their boyfriends to make sex tapes because these iclouds get hacked all the time. To me, I think it's hot. Like, I think it's so hot to make a sex tape and then watch it back like, you know, like sports players, they have like film and then like film meetings after. That's how I treat sex tapes with my casual hookups. While the sex tape, we'll get all the angles, you know, maybe get a light in there and like, I never plan them but like after tequilas, tequila's blanco. I want to be filmed. I also like want to see what I look like from like a camera perspective. I think it's like fun. Maybe I'm just like a narcissist and I just want to see myself. Is that a thing? I don't know. But I would recommend vetting the guy out because, you know, hindsight's always 20 20. There's a couple of these guys that have blessed in my past that I should have absolutely not have blessed them with the beautiful image of me getting back shots from behind him. He's sucking them sideways into fruition I shouldn't have done that. But would I do it again? Absolutely. Fuck. Lutely, I would do it a fucking end. And yeah, I would just say, have fun with it. I wouldn't plan it. Like, that's crazy to me. I wouldn't like be texting a guy and be like, I think on Saturday the 14th we should film a sex tape. Bring out cameras, lighting, get your tripods ready, Production X, Y and Z, we'll have a writer. What snacks should we have in the room? What kind of dim do you want the mood lightings on? And what music do you want playing in the background? Around? No, I think it should be on a whim. Like, this is how I do it. I'll be like fooling around with a guy in my bed and then I'll just like, oh my God, film me. This is so fun. That's so hot. And they'll always be like, yep. I mean, just be careful because these videos do get around. Trust me, don't google me. But like these videos do get around. Especially if you're in college or if you're in high school. Men love trophies. You know, they're gonna be like, look what I have with this Becky ass. You just want to be careful about that. And it, you gotta like think about that and decide what you're okay with. Because I think when guys, you know, I like to think that I'm an adult and then men I'm getting with are old enough where they're not like showing every guy, but like sometimes like I wish they would show their friends the amazing work that I've put into them. But then some, like, of some of these friends I've already gotten with and they already know, I don't know anyways. But I would just be careful. I think it can go both ways. I would say do it, it's fine, it's hot. But at the end of the day, just like, be careful. If his name is like Chad, Brad or Thaddeus and he plays like on the lacrosse team or the hockey team, be careful about making a sex tape with him. I would say that.
- [37:55]
Spectrum Business Representative
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- [38:26]
T-Mobile Customer
Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.
- [38:31]
T-Mobile Representative
Oh, right this way.
- [38:32]
T-Mobile Customer
Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.
- [38:42]
T-Mobile Representative
It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer. At T Mobile, VIP means y o u check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.
- [38:57]
Hallie Bachelder
Hey, Hallie, I just discovered your podcast and I love it, but I wanted to text you because I'm 19 years old and still have not gotten my first kiss or anything. And I feel honestly stressed about it because I feel so inexperienced compared to everyone. Your podcast is def. Way too advanced for my level. But I absolutely love every episode. Please let me know if you have any tips about first kisses, first everythings, and what your experience was for all the firsts. This is so sweet and wholesome. Honestly. I love you and I love that you're listening. And yes, a lot of the that comes out of my mouth and goes into it honestly is fucking insane. But, you know, we've all had our firsts. I don't think at first at 15 is different from a first at 21. Really. We all get those butterflies. We all get nervous. We all get nervous to, like, lean in. Like, am I giving me a good kisser? Like all this. My first kiss was when I was 12 years old, which is so young, and it was with my neighbor on Nantucket, and it was on like the tennis courts in our little like, gated clubhouse community of Nantucket, Massachusetts. It was honestly romantic. As I remember earlier that day, I was like planning out this kiss with this guy. I was kind of a at 12, honestly, now I think about it, but like a thing we used to do in Nantucket is we'd go to the candy store, Force 5, shout out, and we just like, you know, get a bag of candy. Like we're young kids. Like, that's what we do. And I remember I went to Force five in town that one day. I went to the candy shop and there was pop rocks on the shop myself. And I go, oh my God. Like, I need my first kiss to be a Pop Rocks. Like, that's sick. So my first kiss was with pop rocks in my mouth. It was insane and I was like, insane for it. But honestly, kind of a savage first kiss move. Was I nervous? Abs fucking lutely. You don't know what you're good at at. Like when you're like doing any firsts, but I would say a first kiss. Don't. I feel like don't think too much into it. But you know, I don't think it matters what age you're at having a first kiss. They're all just like, like, just have fun with it. Be flirty. Don't force it. Let the mood be right. Make sure it's in a setting where you feel comfortable and safe. If you're like overanalyzing your first kiss, maybe consider who your first kiss is with. Make sure you feel safe with that person. But if you want it to be like a more casual thing, just like, don't think too much about it. It. It's not that deep at the end of the day unless you want it to be. If you want it to have a meaningful first kiss. But I would say I wouldn't even have that perspective. I would say have loose, like loose expectations for a first kiss. If you set the bar too high, you're gonna psych yourself out and maybe even be disappointed. But just have fun with it, you know, I. But I don't think it's terrible that you haven't had a first kiss yet. Honestly, that's kind of sweet. My first time I lost. And I want to like, now that we're talking about first, I want to talk about like my first like time I lost my virginity. I've told this story, but I was 14, like at 14 or 15. And it was in the basement of my parents house and they were like upstairs. Like it was kind of like crazy that I. Shut up. I haven't heard from Suri in like years. Yeah, she's really quiet. No sir. You fell off her. Engagement's low. So we. It was our. It was both our firsts. Well, he said he had hooked up with someone before, but I think he was lying to me. Like he was like two years older than me and I was like. It was like definitely our first. And I really wanted to like, I. I remember like really like mentally I was like, I'm ready to have sex. Like I'm ready for it. I've always kind of been like a sexual person. Even at the age of 14, 15, I feel like I was ready to go, but I was nervous because I remember the first time I gave head. I wasn't good at it. And he told me, he was like, you're really bad at this. Because I was overthinking it. I was over analyzing sucking dick. Until one day I was like, wait, sucking dick is the equivalent to like going to like. It's like pottery. It's like a craft. Like, what shape am I going to make today? It's like a skill. It's like poetry with your mouth, you know, like every time's different almost. I feel like the last I like started over analyzing it and like thinking about rules in my head about sex, kissing, you know, giving head. The better at it I was like, the more like loose with it I was and more like free spirited I was with it. But the first time I had sex. Sorry, get back to that. I went on a tangent. He was so nervous and he put the condom on in the bathroom because he didn't want to do it in front of me. And he was in the bathroom of the basement for like 30 minutes. Honestly, part of me thinks he probably like jerked off or something. I don't even know, like it was. But I remember like the first. He was the first guy I ever or did anything with really. Like the first guy I went past second base with was with him. It was all within a month. So, like, me getting fingered, me like sucking dick, giving a hand job in sex all happened within four weeks, which was crazy to me. But honestly, I was like, can you get this over with? I need to start practicing. And this guy had a big dick. So I was like. It was like after him, I was like, oh, everyone else's dick is small. But I remember it hurt so much the first time. And no one loses their virginity and it's epic and sick. I don't believe in that. I feel like that's a bunch of like. I think it's very awkward and like uncomfortable. And I remember it being like, kind of choppy, you know, like choppy waters. No one finished. Maybe he did. He probably did. But like, I don't. I don't think I finished from sex until I figured out like, how to ride. Once you figure out how to like be on top, you don't need to know anything else. Once you like can figure out how to finish on top or how to intro, introduce a vibrator into sex. I feel you're fine. Let's get into like some of my other first, now that we're on this topic and you know, production wrote these down. So this guy, also the guy I lost my virginity to, he was super, super paranoid about like getting me pregnant, which I feel like everyone should be, you know, like in high school, like, wear a condom. And we work on him every single time. Not necessarily because he was worried about STDs, because obviously I wasn't anyone else when I was 15. But it was more so like he was, he thought any raw penis going inside of me. Oh, baby maid. The amount of times I took plan B unwarrantedly, even if the condom would like loosely break, he would be like, plan B. Now I'm like, but I don't want to. It's expensive. Okay. So I remember I had a pregnancy scare. It wasn't a pregnancy scare. I was on birth control and I was really bad at taking it. So I'd spot a lot in my pocket. My period would be like sometimes I would load up if I was getting my period, but I was going to see my boyfriend that weekend. I would take like nine of my pills. I would literally OD on birth control to push it off to Monday. And so I remember like it really up my period once and he thought I was pregnant and it was like a whole thing. And he was like crying. It was like a whole thing. But no, I wasn't pregnant. First drink of alcohol also in Nantucket. I remember it was like the summer where like everyone started drinking and like we'd get in the woods and like just like for some reason we thought like the only way we could get away with drinking was would be like in the woods. I'm like, why are we always in the woods? I feel like that's a universal experience though. Like drinking in high school. Like why when the woods. I was like 14 though when I had my first drink of alcohol and I also was like trying to get away with it. So I'd go into my parents liquor cabinet, steal every clear liquid of alcohol and then put it in a water bottle and that would go out and I'd get like take two shots of whatever concoction I made and then come home and just lie on my back and just have the spins. But I didn't get too up the first time I ever drank. I remember being really scary and I thought it was so cool. And I was like the first one to ever drink in my friend group. I was the youngest but I also went to the like an all girls Catholic school so people like were a lot more buttoned up. Also my older sister was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to like the social scene in middle school and high school. She didn't start drinking until like 17, 18. So like I was like my parents first experience with like a kid that was getting up. They ground me for nine months and sent me to karate as my punishment when I got alcohol poisoning because I did get alcohol poisoning before sweet 16. One time it was traumatic for everyone, but it was kind of iconic. First time clubbing. I mean, I wouldn't consider the chicken box really clubbing. It's like the like big dive bar in Nantucket. All my alcohol related experiences, we're on Nantucket because the weather is warm. You want to have a little sip of alcohol. Or Aruba. I think the drinking age in Aruba, where I've timeshare at that. Like, it's like the age is 12 where you can start drinking there. But it was definitely either like chicken box when I was 15, when I would like sneak into the chicken box. But like, my first real club was probably marquee in New York City, which is a Canada event for every New York first sti scare. I mean, I've gotten chlamydia once and honestly, it was rude. This older gentleman gave me chlamydia. He wasn't even that old. He was like 36. He gave me chlamydia. And I remember being like, oh my God, you gave me chlamydia. And I remember telling him, I'm like, oh my God, you gave me chlamydia. And he's like, oh, my God, I only get my favorite girls chlamydia. I was, you're a. But I fell for it. My first threesome was in college with my roommate. And I think I've told this story where it was on hand. Tuck in. It was also on Nantucket. It was the 4th of July and it was the first time a guy had showed like, sexual interest in me after my breakup with my ex boyfriend. And I was scared to have sex with someone else alone. So I was like, margo, like, you think this guy's hot? She's like, yeah. I was like, wait, let's just have a threesome with him. So we had a threesome with him. We blessed his life. He was so excited. I remember, like, he didn't even have his clothes on yet. And he was like calling all of his friends. I think he called his like, dad even. He was like, like, guess what just happened. He's like running out of there. It was really funny. But yeah, that was my first threesome. First sex toy was like a massive dildo. I think I was crazy though. Like, my first sex toy. Like, I remember, like, I would shop for them in like bunches. Like, I have every sex toy in the book probably at this point. A lot of brands gift me them too. But the first one I bought myself, and I feel bad because I bought it on my mom's Credit card. But, like, whatever. I was probably 15. It was when I was, like, watching massage room porn, and I was like, you know what? I need a vibrator because my hand, like, can't do what it's supposed to do. Like, that's when I realized, like, what vibrators were is when, like, I couldn't, like, use my. I was getting, like, carpal tunnel. My wrists were about to break off. But it was probably just like, one of those, like, wands or a dildo. I think I got them both together. First time experimenting with the king, probably in college again, I was tied up to a bed with, like, this under. It was, like, restraints on, like, both my arms and legs. I feel like all my kinks came in one big batch, though. Like, slap spitting, choking. Like, I really like choking for a while. Like, until I was literally blue in the face. I loved getting choked out, but now it just kind of annoys me. I don't know. Light choking. So I. But I don't want to, like, pass out. That's insane. First time finding porn on the desktop in the kitchen. I remember I saw, like, a 50 Cent music video and I was like, oh, my God. In the club. And I, like, felt like things like butterflies. Yeah, those are my firsts. Let's go for one more. Dm. Hallie. This Memorial Day weekend, my friend wanted to bring me on a double date with her man she's been seeing recently, who's French Canadian. He's super loaded love that drives a Rolls Royce truck. Sick property near the beach in Fort Lauderdale. More of the very long story ends up taking forever to respond. But we had plans to come to his house at 9, and we end up showing face at 11pm we walk in on these three men circle jerking each other the fuck off while these three Russian escorts watch them doing so in the hot tub. Yeah, insane thought would. I thought you get a kick out of the story. I would get a kick out of the story. I think I responded to this girl and I never reply to these. I always just screenshots on it to you. I reply to this girls, like, this is iconic, and you are iconic. I don't know. My jaw would be detached from my body if I walked into, like, men, like, jerking each other off. That's like a, like, humiliation ritual, right? But also, like, kind of gay. Like, did these. I have so many questions. Okay. Did these Russian escorts, like, force them to do it? Like, why are they there? Do they need the Russian escorts there to do this? I mean, if you're A man jerking any man off. You're a little gang, even if so, like, even if, like, there's a gun to your head. I don't know. Also, like, why are there escorts there if this is someone's boyfriend and you're supposed to be going on a double date? They're gay, babe. This is insane. This is like one of the most insane DMS I've ever gotten. So you showed up two hours late, so they're like, okay, this is what we're going to do. Call the escorts and have the escorts just like stand by while we jerk each other off. I would run in the other direction, babe. But yeah, that would turn me off, I think. Think. I don't think I would like that. Do you guys do that? Like, when girls aren't in the room? When their girlfriends aren't there, they just like, jerk each other off. That's what Greyton thinks. He thinks everyone's always just jerking each other off and that all men are gay. On the spectrum gay. That's what, like guys think girls do at sleepovers is jerk each other off. That doesn't happen. We don't have pillow fights. I mean, I get really cuddly and touchy with my friends, but like, normally I don't finger blast them into fruition. We don't have fingering circles. That would be crazy. Imagine if we had a pie off and we're all just like, finger each other's pies in a circle with male escorts around. No, that's not a thing. But anyways, these are crazy. Please send me more DMS like this. Like, please, the more dms, the better. I will always read them. And do I not. I'm always a woman on my word. But anyways, let's close out the episode there. As always, you guys can watch me on YouTube, listen to me on any other platform, like comment. Subscribe all the beautiful good things. As always, I love you guys. Subscribe, you're a bunch of little weird freaks in the best way possible. And I'll see you next week. Bye. Vessels me on me.
- [53:36]
Spectrum Business Representative
Real businesses rely on Spectrum business for the fastest, most reliable Internet. Starting at $40 a month. When bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment, get Internet speeds to fit your business needs. So starting at 500Mbps bundle with TV, phone and mobile for more savings, level up your speed For a three year price guarantee, find a bundle that is made for your business@spectrum.com business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.
- [54:07]
T-Mobile Customer
Ever since switching to T mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.
- [54:12]
T-Mobile Representative
Oh, right this way.
- [54:13]
T-Mobile Customer
Who me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.
- [54:23]
T-Mobile Representative
It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer. At T Mobile, VIP means y o u check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.
- [54:38]
FX Marketing Representative
I just heard that FX has a new original comedy series coming out called Adults. Adults is a comedy that'll feel relatable if you ever find humor in the struggles of being an adult in 2025. You know, like remembering your full Social Security number or to drink water or perhaps having your third existential crisis of the month. Best part is that all episodes will be ready for your next weekend binge. Watch FX's Adults Wednesdays on FX. All episodes now streaming on.
- [55:06]
Hallie Bachelder
Huh.