Hallie Bachelder (12:48)
I'm trying to think about what else happened at the wedding. There was like a lot of hot guys there. Like low key. Like I feel like if I wanted to, I probably could have made out with someone on the dance floor. Also there was like no adults. Like I didn't see adult in sight. Now that I think about it, it was like everyone was 27. I swear everyone was between the ages of 24 and 30 and it was like almost like, like I'm trying to think now. Like obviously there was like the parents were there, but other than that I feel like there was very limited real adults there. It was really fun. Like I would go again. I get why people have weddings now. Like I get why people throw the party. Like it it was like an open bar which by the way is my worst enemy because they will always, they will ruin the day because they always conquer me. I can't like be around an open bar. There was an open buffet. There was like A dessert table. There was cigarettes. I brought those, I think. But, like, I don't know. But a lot of people were staying. It was at a castle. And a lot of people were staying in the rooms of the castle. So a lot of people, like, just kept, like, venturing all around. We'd go, like, to people's rooms and touch up and, like, you know, take some shots and yada yada, bing bong. And then we come back down to the dance floor. The DJ was really good, but there was definitely some talent at that wedding. Now, there was this one guy that was really cute, but, you know, there was, like, a lot of pretty girls there. Obviously. It was like, all influencers. So I don't know. I was also just saying, like, I feel like everyone right now is getting engaged and married. And I was just telling someone that, and they're like, just wait. Next it's going to be like, baby showers. And I said that if one of my best friends got pregnant right now, I would be, like, mad at them. Is that okay? I'd be like, what the fuck? I would be, like, mourning a death almost. Because I would be like, we can't go out anymore. Like, your life's over. Goodbye. Goodbye to the streets. Like, once you have a kid, I feel like you have to, like, do kid stuff. Birthday parties and not the kinds I like to attend. Who's gonna go to Gospel with me? Who's gonna go to a little sister with me? You can't bring a baby at a Zero Bond. Like, these are things I think about. I'm also, like, trying to think now, like, when I get married, because the day will come, I'm gonna lock down one of these at some point and they're gonna have to deal with me. Okay. At least for my first marriage, because, let's be honest, I'll probably have two. Like, will I be a bridezilla? I try to think about that. Am I gonna be like that annoying zilla where I'm gonna be like, I'll probably want most creative control over my own wedding. Because, like, men don't have good taste in this. And if they do, I don't know if we're batting for the same team, babe. You know, like, weddings are, like, such, like, a curated, like, acquired, like, personal touch of personality and style and aesthetic that you all want in one big bunch. Like, I know LA is already planning our wedding and she's meeting with venues next week. I'm not even fucking kidding. She's the most type A person. I'm type B. Which makes me a little bit nervous, honestly. Lauren will probably be helping plan my wedding, but honestly, I feel like it depends who you marry. I could get married at Home Depot and probably be happy. Okay, let's do wedding hot takes. The first one is, if you can't afford to pay for your bridal party's dresses, don't make those dresses mandatory. Yeah, I think I agree with this one. If, like, you really want a specific dress. I mean, the wedding I was just at, the dress code was black, which I loved because it's so easy to find a black dress. And it was also, like, chic. It, like, was the whole aesthetic. Like, the only person wearing a different color was jazz and everyone else was in black. I feel like for bridesmaids, there should be, like, a limit to how much you spend if you're making them pay, if that makes any sense. I feel like a color scheme you can choose. You can choose the shade of what dress you want your bridal party to wear. But everyone has different body types, too. Not every dress looks the same on everyone. And I feel like people should be shopping for their own body types and not have to, like, conform to, like, what the bride wants. Like, I feel like if. Does that make sense? Yeah, I feel like that is a bit on the controlling side if you're, like, dictating what your bridesmaids are wedding wearing. And yeah, I also agree. I feel like people should be shopping for themselves and what looks good on their body and not have to all wear the same thing. I feel like everyone's wearing the same thing. You, like, kind of look like penguins, you know, like penguins in a row. Like little ducks in a line. Like, everyone has their own personal style, and that's how they should shop for the right. Like, you know, they're paying for it. And if you want them to wear a specific dress, you should be fronting the bill, and that's how I feel about it. Oh, he'll do the next one. Sunday weddings. I don't want to be hungover on Monday. People have work. I don't, but people do. Other people have work on Mondays. Also. There's something about being hungover on a Monday that's just, like, very dark to me. I feel like Sunday weddings shouldn't be a thing. Saturday weddings are fine. No, Saturday weddings are ideal. I feel like everyone has weddings on Saturdays and Fridays. Like the travel day where people get to the venue or whatever, usually, typically. I also am not the biggest fan of people having weddings on holiday weekends. I don't love that. But it usually works out that more people can attend because they have more time to travel and stuff. So I guess if you are doing a destination wedding, a longer weekend works. But yeah, I would say no for Sunday weddings. Okay, next. The bridesmaid should pay for the brides portion of the bachelorette trip. I've seen this go both ways where it's like, the bridesmaid should pay and, like, the bride shouldn't have to pay that much. I've seen, like, people do that, but I feel like if you're like, picking like, Ibiza and you're like, making all your bridesmaids, like, buy their own plane tickets and all that and, like, go out there, you should be at least running, like, the villa. Okay. Like, to stay, because, you know, I feel like that's a little, like, out of touch. Just be expecting that everyone's in the same budget because we're not, you know, and you just have to be, like, a little bit self aware when it comes to that stuff. But then again, I've never been married. I probably would make my friends go to Ibiza, and if one of my besties couldn't afford to get on a plane and go to Ibiza, then I would front their bill or make my husband do it because we're marrying rich out here. That's what I would do. I would make my husband pay for the. The girls. That's what's gonna happen one day. I'm gonna be like, honey, you're paying for everything. Thank you. Next one. If you're the maid of honor, you have to give a speech. I feel like unfortunately you do. Although I'm scared to and I don't want to. But, like, I love my friend more than it outweighs me being a little scared to give a speech in front of a group of people about love and romance in their story. And these are two of my best friends getting married. So, like, I feel like it would be so wrong if I didn't give a speech. Like, I'm gonna give a speech. I want to make that very clear. Like, I will be giving a speech, but I'm just scared too, because then people are, like, listening to you and, like, it's like, from the heart. Like, I know what I talk about, like, dick. And, like, what if I see the wrong thing in front of, like, the parents and the grandparents? We all know Memorial Day weekend, what happened? That's the couple I'm giving a speech for. So they all know our background story. So, you know, I feel like it depends No, I. I feel like it doesn't depend. I feel like you should give a speech if you're a maid of honor and you're only gonna have to do it once and you should just suck it the up. And at the end of the day, giving a speech in front of a big crowd of people is a good life skill to have, so, you know, you just gotta bite the bullet and take it on the chin. But yeah, I do feel like you have to give a speech. Okay, next one. The groom doesn't have to be involved in the wedding planning. If they're bad at planning, I don't think they should be involved. They should mind their business and just give them like front their credit card. That's how I feel. Like, what, what, in what world do men have like anything to do with a wedding? I feel like that's kind of odd, to be honest. Their only involvement should be passing over their credit card. And I'll stand by that. I just. A wedding, yes, it is a celebration of like two people's love, but I feel like it's for the girl at the end of the day. Like, if it were up to the men, I don't even know if they would be, you know, willingly spending that much money on a party. Unless maybe they will. Maybe they want to do that. Maybe. That's sweet. But I feel like if it means more to the bride, the bride should have more say in what goes on. And I feel like, you know, women just pay attention more to detail than men do. Sometimes it's all in the details. So, yeah, I feel like men should just kind of like, you know, have light opinions, but I kind of keep their hands off of it. At the end of the day, if you have a gluten free guest. So your cake should be gluten free. No. Nine times out of 10, that's their choice. They can bring their own gluten free cake from Stop and Shop. I don't give a. But like, I'm not. Like, what? You can't please everyone all the time, okay? And you're probably gonna have more non gluten free guests than gluten free guests. So please the majority of the people and not like unless someone has like a severe allergy, maybe get like a baby cake on the side. But you know, at the end of the day you can't please everyone. Like everyone's gonna have some sort of like dietary restriction. It's 20, 25. That seems to be like the way it goes. Okay, kids at weddings, this is like, I Don't know. This is a toss up to me because, you know, you need the flower girls. Although I think I decided I'm gonna have a flower gay. I just want green to, like, walk down the aisle and just, like, throw petals at people's heads and, like, be like, downing nips and stuff and just like, ripping it and strutting down the aisle. I think for my wedding, I would only have kids there if it was, like, they're related to me, like cousins or if my siblings had kids, like, obviously they can come. But I feel like for the welcome party, absolutely not. There should be a 21 and up situation. But for the actual wedding day, I feel like you could have kids, babies. I don't know. You don't want a baby crying. Like, if you're gonna bring a baby, that's your responsibility. And if they start crying during the ceremony, I feel like you should at least be aware of, like, the nearest exit to handle that. So if you're bringing kids, that's your responsibility. And, like, make sure, like, your guest knows to, like, be handling and surveillancing the situation. I've been a kid at a wedding though, and I feel like I was fine. But honestly, weddings are only fun if you can, like, get up. Unless you're putting Rob into their, like, little pacifier and their baby bottle. But, like, at the end of the day, like, weddings are fun because it's like everyone's getting drunk and like, celebrating love. Like, kids won't get that. Okay, next. Cash gifts are better than physical gifts. I feel like kind of. Yeah, I've heard, like, a lot of people just wanting money. Weddings are fucking expensive. I feel like it's also easier just to write a check. No one wants, like, a new bowl from Williams Sonoma, you know, Unless there's like a. What are they called? Gift registries. Yeah, I mean, I would just be like, write me a check. Cut me a check so you can, like, make some money back from the wedding. I mean, I don't really need gifts. I'm trying to think about my own wedding, my hypothetical wedding. I don't know. I guess it depends on, like, the specific wedding, but I don't. I think wedding cash gifts are better and they're easier and more convenient. You can just hit the Zell, hit the Venmo. It's like, you know, less hassle, less thinking. When is it acceptable to ask to bring someone as a wedding date? You know? That's a good question. I feel like it really depends on, you know, the bride or like, whoever's wedding. Like, sometimes people are really weird about plus ones. Sometimes they offer them but, like, that's another plate of food. Like, people off the front. That's like another cost. And you don't like to, like, add an extra expense on a random dick that you just slang last weekend. You know, like, if I was hooking up with a guy for, like, probably three plus months, I would want to bring him to a wedding as, like, I feel like that's fun, like, and flirty and like, would like, maybe convince. I don't know. I feel like it could be kind of fun to like, bring a situationship as a wedding guest, but then it could get confusing afterwards because weddings, like, are really, like, you're surrounded by so much, like, love and romance. Do you really want to bring a situationship there? Unless you're, like, trying to trick them into, like, wanting to date you. That would be the way to do it, honestly. But I feel like it depends on, like, the bride's tolerance for a plus one. I don't think I even had a plus one at the wedding I was supposed to go to last year. I think they gave me the option, but, like, I'm not gonna bring like, Joe Schmo I fox last week. That would just be weird. And then I have to deal with his ass all night. I'm not doing that then. Then I'm babysitting. At the end of the day, I don't want to babysit a man when I could be running around a wedding with my favorite gays. That's what I was doing. Me and Bran were just like, the drunkest at the party. Just like running around, taking shots, drinking wine, ripping up the floor. It was so much fun. Like, I couldn't do that if I had to deal with the man in the corner. Anyways, that's my take on that. Let's go into the next segment. As temperatures rise, it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with not just summer essentials, but versatile pieces for every season ahead. Quinn's pieces are timeless, lightweight, and far more elevated than anything else at this price, like 100% European linen shorts and dresses from $30 Luxe Swimwear, Italian leather platform sandals, and so much more from Quint is half the cost of similar brands because they work directly with top artisans and cut out the middleman, giving you luxury without the markup. I just got a summer shipment from Quint, including an adorable lightweight blanket that will be perfect for those summer nights on Nantucket. That can be a little Bit chillier. Give your summer closet an upgrade with quint. Go to quince.comextradirty for free shipping on your order in 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com extra dirty to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com extra dirty extra dirty with Hallie Bachelder is brought to you by Tinder. We know that your person doesn't just fall out of the sky. I remember when I moved from Boston to New York the I if I had used Tinder, maybe I wouldn't be single right now. You know Tinder. Maybe it turns into a great story. Maybe it turns into something even better. You'll never know until you match much. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download the app today. Okay, next let's go through like you guys DM me all the time. Like I said, always feel free to DM me. I screenshot them, send them to my producer. We have a little giggle because you guys are insane. But let's go through a few of these and I'm reading these raw dogging them. I haven't read through them in depth help yet so I will give my honest and true opinions on these and see like what kind of input I can give. The first one is Hallie, I need your help anon please. I've been seeing this guy for a while and everything is great. But when we were first hooking up, he told me he isn't able to come because of a medication he takes. Assuming it's antidepressants he's still able to get and stay hard in the sex is great. He reassured me that I'm good in bed and that it's just medication but that he still enjoys the act of it. But how do I a not feel self conscious that I can't make him come because I haven't a need to please people real and B how do I end sex? Stop making him feel bad and awkward because he'll pound me for like 20 minutes. Which just isn't it for me. No one likes the bunny rabbit treatment, babe. I get it. This is a tricky one because I'm sure this guy is into you and this is something he has to like deal with in every situation. I mean it sucks if anyone's on like Prozac, Zoloft, any antidepressant. Yes, you need it for your mental health, but it does affect other bodily functions. I've been on Zoloft before and usually I have the easiest time finishing, but I remember when I was on that medication, it was extremely hard to finish, which can be not only frustrating for, like, you know, the person who can't finish, but it's also frustrating for the other party involved. And I'm sure he's super self conscious about not being able to finish. And I bet you're super self conscious about, like, you know, not being able to, like, make him finish. I'm the same way. Like, I personally love, enjoy, like, sucking a guy off until completion. And if I can't do that, like, I don't even want to have sex with them, to be honest, because that's, like, kind of my thing. And if a guy can't finish for me, like, what are we doing here? It's like I get off to them getting off, and if they can't get off, like, like, that's like half, you know, half the climb here. But then again, this is a medical issue, and I'm not, you know, slandering medical issues. We all have. You know, I probably should hop on antidepressants at the end of the day, too. So, like, I feel for our boy here, but you shouldn't have. You shouldn't feel self conscious about this. No, and I also feel like you shouldn't. It could be selfish to say, but, like, I feel like you shouldn't have to tolerate that if you don't want to. Maybe it's not the right guy in the right time. I mean, maybe he won't be on antidepressants forever. Is that bad to say? But, like, getting pounded from, like, from the back for 20 minutes straight. I would rather read, and I don't like reading. I would literally rather read a book. I'd rather read, like, a book. That sounds horrible. That's some frat boy. I don't like. I don't like that. But if he's a nice guy, I mean, maybe it'll change, but, like, probably not. And you got to take things at face value. And I mean, have you suggested maybe he goes down on you or, like, get really good with his hands because there's no reason. Yeah, maybe he can't finish, but there's no reason he should be pounding you from behind for 20 minutes just so, like, that's selfish on his part because we all know doggy style is a finishing move. It's like a finisher. Like, that's how guys finish, which is why he's trying to, like, get himself to finish. He's being selfish. It's making Your sexual experience gets worse for it. So if he's gonna want to choose that position for, like, an allotted amount of time, he should at least be, like, making you finish before he resorts to that. I would take control of the situation. Be like, listen, buddy. Listen, buckaroo, I know you can't finish, but, like, go down on me for, like, 20 minutes if you're gonna pound me from the back for 20 minutes. Or like, what better vibrator. Don't even tell him. Be like, listen, I'm finishing and I'm not leaving until I do. Stand on business. Stand on these bitches necks. What? You should be finishing every time, whether he has any involvement in it or not. He might just be a beating heart near you at that point, a warm body right next to you, and to swipe out your favorite vibrator and look at him in admiration and pretend like he's doing it. But, like, take charge and communicate. I always say. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Like you can't read your mind either. Like, a lot of these guys don't know what the fuck they're doing. He could be, like, really wanting to please you too. I've ever thought of that. Like, maybe he, like, really wants you to finish, but, like, doesn't have the tools or doesn't know how. Clearly he doesn't know what he's doing if he's pounding from behind for 20 minutes. I'm going to say that one more time. Just tell him what you like. Or at least, like, push him in the direction. Steer him in the right direction. But I always say, like, in the situation where, like, you're not finishing, he's not finishing without a vibrator. Did she say she's not. I don't think if she's getting pounded. I just know she's not finishing if that's the position they're choosing. Yeah, yeah, I just know she's not finishing. I'm assuming under the assumption if you guys are just doing doggy, that you're not finishing, but maybe you are. I'm also a people pleaser. Like, I want. I get gratification out of, like, seeing someone else finish, but if he can't finish and he's telling you it's because of his antidepressants, and that really bothers you and makes you feel insecure. Choose yourself. Always choose yourself first. You don't want to feel insecure when you're having sex with someone. That's the worst ever. And, like, you know, maybe just, like, part ways. Okay, next one. Hey, Hallie. Need Your extra dirty advice. In the past month, three of my sneaky links have asked me to make a sex tape with them, which is kind of baffling. Men love fucking sex tape. These fucking weird freaks. I have crazy amazing sex with each and one of them. Girl, fudge. You like with each and one of them. So it honestly be down. But at the same time, I'm a bit hesitant because I only ever been filmed sex with my long term high school boyfriend, never with a casual. Is this a normal thing that people do? Have you ever made a sex tape with a casual hookup? Almost. God, I've made sex tapes with everyone. It's actually a problem and a king of mine ever. Like every casual hookup I've ever had, I'm like, whip out the camera. I do have a podcast. Like whenever a camera is out, I feel like I perform. I kind of look at sex tapes the same way. It's like almost like I'm on a stage and I just like love the idea because like these are going to this bank bank. Like these videos are going straight to this bank bank. And there's just something a thought of a guy like, you know, like jer off or whatever to like a sex tape of you like sucking them off or whatever. That just makes brings me gratification. But that is me. And I feel like I'm probably not in the majority there. I feel like people are very hesitant, even with their boyfriends to make sex tapes because these iclouds get hacked all the time. To me, I think it's hot. Like, I think it's so hot to make a sex tape and then watch it back like, you know, like sports players, they have like film and then like film meetings after. That's how I treat sex tapes with my casual hookups. While the sex tape, we'll get all the angles, you know, maybe get a light in there and like, I never plan them but like after tequilas, tequila's blanco. I want to be filmed. I also like want to see what I look like from like a camera perspective. I think it's like fun. Maybe I'm just like a narcissist and I just want to see myself. Is that a thing? I don't know. But I would recommend vetting the guy out because, you know, hindsight's always 20 20. There's a couple of these guys that have blessed in my past that I should have absolutely not have blessed them with the beautiful image of me getting back shots from behind him. He's sucking them sideways into fruition I shouldn't have done that. But would I do it again? Absolutely. Fuck. Lutely, I would do it a fucking end. And yeah, I would just say, have fun with it. I wouldn't plan it. Like, that's crazy to me. I wouldn't like be texting a guy and be like, I think on Saturday the 14th we should film a sex tape. Bring out cameras, lighting, get your tripods ready, Production X, Y and Z, we'll have a writer. What snacks should we have in the room? What kind of dim do you want the mood lightings on? And what music do you want playing in the background? Around? No, I think it should be on a whim. Like, this is how I do it. I'll be like fooling around with a guy in my bed and then I'll just like, oh my God, film me. This is so fun. That's so hot. And they'll always be like, yep. I mean, just be careful because these videos do get around. Trust me, don't google me. But like these videos do get around. Especially if you're in college or if you're in high school. Men love trophies. You know, they're gonna be like, look what I have with this Becky ass. You just want to be careful about that. And it, you gotta like think about that and decide what you're okay with. Because I think when guys, you know, I like to think that I'm an adult and then men I'm getting with are old enough where they're not like showing every guy, but like sometimes like I wish they would show their friends the amazing work that I've put into them. But then some, like, of some of these friends I've already gotten with and they already know, I don't know anyways. But I would just be careful. I think it can go both ways. I would say do it, it's fine, it's hot. But at the end of the day, just like, be careful. If his name is like Chad, Brad or Thaddeus and he plays like on the lacrosse team or the hockey team, be careful about making a sex tape with him. I would say that.
