Tana Mongeau!! *remaking our lost Cancelled episode*

Summary

Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder

Episode: Tana Mongeau!! Remaking our lost Cancelled episode
Date: November 6, 2025
Guest: Tana Mongeau

Episode Overview

This raucous, unfiltered episode features Hallie Batchelder in conversation with internet sensation Tana Mongeau. Together, they recreate their infamously lost “Cancelled” podcast episode, diving deep into wild party lore, sobriety, friendship, sex, the chaos of public life, and—above all—the messy, hilarious, and vulnerable complexities of being young women in the limelight. The conversation swings freely between raunchy confessions and genuine moments about mental health, transformation, and the "duality of women"—a theme both hosts embrace and champion throughout.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Reunited and Recreating the Lost “Cancelled” Episode

• [02:01–02:44] The two reminisce on Hallie's legendary appearance on Tana’s “Cancelled” pod, with both lavishing each other in profane adoration:

  "You are the funniest bitch out... Everything you do, I am consuming it."
  —Tana Mongeau ([02:11])

• Hallie and Tana joke about the notorious chapstick/vial mix-up, setting the raunchy, relatable tone for the episode.

Rumors, Party Lore, and Sobriety

• [03:16–07:13]
  • The girls talk about being subjects of celebrity “blind items” and club rumors, sharing how Tana’s online presence has made hiding anything impossible:

    "If I could have ever hid the fact I was on coke, I would probably still be on coke."
    —Tana ([03:51])

  • They recall the last night Tana drank ("a bender insane night out" with Hallie in NYC) and how it led to Tana’s path to sobriety.
  • Reflecting on meeting in various states of debauchery:

    "That is my last...memory on cocaine ever: me and you on the bathroom floor." —Tana ([06:30])

Sober Era and Changing Social Lives

• [07:31–08:11]
  • Tana shares that she only goes out sober when she has to, and being sober has made her realize she genuinely likes fewer people.
  • They discuss the massive stash of secrets (“tea”) they’re sitting on and how in the influencer world, everyone confides in everyone.

Sex, Kinks, and The "Ass" Talk

• [08:42–10:54]
  • They gleefully discuss men’s secret anal preferences ("They all gay," jokes Hallie); Hallie shares a viral story about fisting her ex, sparking Tana to riff about “post-peg clarity.”
  • Hilariously, Tana reflects:

    "The grass isn’t always greener on the pegging side." ([11:03])

  • Discussion of the logistics and “clarity” that follows wild sexcapades.

NY vs. LA, Party Culture, and Influencer Life

• [13:51–16:08]
  • Tana chose LA over NY because it was necessary for her early YouTube career, but admits NYC would have been “dangerous” for her at the time.
  • They riff on the cultural differences:

    "In LA everyone gives so much of a f*** about how you look...in New York, no one gives a f*** if you live or die."
    —Tana ([15:03])

Monogamy, Love, and the “Rock Star” Relationship Dynamic

• [16:53–18:45]
  • Hallie and Tana open up about their skepticism toward monogamy, rooted in never having reciprocated, healthy love before.
  • Tana credits her current relationship with Makoa for helping her learn about unconditional love and breaking her "earn love" pattern.

Embracing Past, Chaos, and Maturity

• [21:13–22:44]
  • Tana looks back with respect—and a bit of horror—on earlier, more chaotic versions of herself:

    "I appreciate them so much...I did my best with the cards I was dealt."
    —Tana ([21:32])

  • Chaos made for good stories, but drama, anxiety, and regret caught up with her.
  • Hallie admits to being stuck in a party rut, hanging out with “22-year-olds until the sun comes up,” while Tana affirms it’s okay to have an era like that—if it’s on your own terms.

“Fun for the Plot”—Content, Self-Acceptance & Accountability

• [22:52–24:56]
  • Both discuss turning wild, even negative, life events into good content and "lore." Tana says she’s glad to now be known as a "bitch with lore."
  • Hallie confides about dealing with the anxiety that came with her own party benders.

On Music Eras, COVID-19 Era, and Internet Infamy

• [24:56–27:36]
  • Tana admits her foray into music was mostly about being “diplomatized” by musicians she dated, rapping and performing onstage while “on Valium.”
  • Both recall the insanity of COVID lockdowns, with Tana living next to the Hype House, throwing parties, and being “awful,” while the pandemic radically changed their online culture and relationships.

Sex, Threesomes, and the “Human Centipede” Analogy

• [32:46–37:46]
  • Hallie shares a wild, blow-fueled COVID-era threesome story, and the two riff with disarming honesty about awkward, coked-out sex:

    "The amount of times I was doing a line, thinking 'I’m gonna give a blowjob,'…your makeup’s bleeding, your mouth’s dry as sandpaper, you’re wiping your snot, he’s not coming—"
    —Tana ([36:53])

  • Both laugh at how their sexual styles have changed:

    "So you, like, make love?"
    —Hallie ([37:53])
    "Yes—I’m like a missionary starfish now..."
    —Tana ([37:55])

Performance, Vulnerability, and Mental Health Advocacy

• [39:28–42:03]
  • The pair talk earnestly about public vulnerability, courage online, and dealing with mental health and eating disorders under scrutiny.
  • Tana:

    "It is so brave to sit there and film something and know the second I hit post, I’m going to receive hate..." ([39:28])

  • Hallie reflects on using her platform to help others—even if it invites criticism.

Handling Hate, Longevity in the Influencer World, and True Friendship

• [42:51–50:03]
  • Both discuss reading hate comments and learning to “divorce your self-worth from either love or hate online.”
  • Tana:

    "Someone right now is calling you Jesus, and someone else is telling you to kill yourself. Neither is true." ([47:43])

  • They celebrate their long-term friends—Tana’s besties from Vegas, Hallie’s close-knit group—and reflect on how real friendship grounds them amidst chaos.

Sketchy Listener Confessions – “Sketchy September”

• [68:17–73:47]
  • Hallie and Tana react to wild listener-submitted stories:
    • Sleeping with multiple people in a day ([68:27–70:56])
    • Hooking up with a best friend's dad ([71:16])
    • Epic peeing-while-blackout episodes
    • Revenge plotting on exes and breakups
    • STDs, “chlamydia for special girls,” and the abysmally low bar for men
  • The girls pepper these segments with brutally honest advice—and equally blunt “don’t do that” takes.

Final Reflections: "Duality of Women"

• [76:48–77:04]
  • Tana sums up the joy of straddling silliness and seriousness, growth and regression, shame and pride:

    "I enjoy the funny, silly, sexual—and I think that is the takeaway of today's episode: the duality of women." ([76:48])

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Outgrowing Chaos:

  “I’m happy now to be a b*tch with lore…All those girls got me here.”
  —Tana ([21:32])

• On Getting Sober:

  “If I could have ever hid the fact I was on coke, I would probably still be on coke.”
  —Tana ([03:51])

• On Friendship:

  “Friends showed me what family is. I didn’t know what it was until my friends.”
  —Tana ([50:19])

• On Online Hate:

  "Someone right now is calling you Jesus, and someone else is telling you to kill yourself. Neither is true."
  —Tana ([47:43])

• On Sexual Experimentation:

  “The clarity is so fierce…The grass isn’t always greener on the pegging side.”
  —Tana ([10:49–11:03])

• On Vulnerability Online:

  “It is so brave to sit there and film something and know...I’m going to receive hate.”
  —Tana ([39:28])

• On Sex & The Bar for Men:

  “The bar is in hell…”
  —Tana ([76:09])

---

Structured Segment Guide (Timestamps)

• [02:01–03:04] — Meeting & The "Cancelled" Lore
• [03:16–07:13] — Wild Partying, Rumors, and Sobriety
• [07:31–08:42] — Secrets, Sober Friendships
• [08:43–11:18] — Men’s Sexual Preferences & Pegging
• [13:51–16:08] — LA vs. NY, Influencer Party Culture
• [16:53–18:20] — Sober Era and Relationship Patterns
• [21:13–22:44] — Accepting Past Selves & Growth
• [24:56–27:36] — Music, Pandemic Lore, and Social Media Shift
• [32:46–37:46] — Threesomes, Awkward Sex, Coked-Out Encounters
• [39:28–42:03] — Vulnerability, Mental Health, and Online Hate
• [42:51–50:03] — Handling Hate, Building Real Friendships
• [68:17–73:47] — Listener Confessions (“Sketchy September”)
• [76:48–77:04] — Closure: The Duality of Women

---

Tone & Style

The episode is unapologetic, intimate, and frequently explicit, with the hosts swaying between joking about sex, drugs, and fame, and offering sober, poignant insights into mental health struggles, trauma, and personal reckoning. Hallie and Tana both lean into their authentic, unfiltered voices, making the episode feel like a real, hilariously chaotic sleepover—but with the wisdom and scars only hard living (and harder growth) can provide.

---

Takeaway

“Duality of Women”—the freedom to be wild, vulnerable, silly, honest, and ever-evolving—stands as the episode’s message, ringing out through raunchy stories and moments of genuine heart. For anyone grappling with their “lore,” personhood, or internet infamy, Tana and Hallie prove that nothing is too dirty, too real, or too complicated for the right audience—and the right best friend—to handle.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

The bar is in.

[A]

Out.

[B]

What up, you little freaks?

[A]

Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. What is the craziest brand deal you've ever did?

[B]

A lot of dildos.

[A]

And I mean Belisima.

[B]

All of them.

[A]

I have to tell you. Wait, I have to tell you. My wedding purse. Can we start? Hi. Remember the first time I met you, I called you Tana.

[B]

I found that sounds believable.

[A]

Tana, welcome to Extra Dirty.

[B]

Like, Tana, welcome.

[A]

Tana, welcome.

[B]

Oh, my God. Hi. I am so excited to do this.

[A]

I'm so happy.

[B]

I really actually mean that. You are the funniest bitch out.

[A]

I'm obsessed with you.

[B]

Like, I. Everything you do, I am consuming it. And I just, like, fucking love you, actually, so much. And I. I really like not to swear nine times in the first 10 seconds, but I fucked on you hard. And I owe you. Well, yeah.

[A]

When?

[B]

No, you love the.

[A]

Wait, when did you vote on me?

[B]

You came on Canceled.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You provided, like, the most funny, iconic episode of Canceled. Like, you were so just. You're everything. Your lore runs deep to. You were spilling and I was feeling.

[A]

A moment like part of me was kind of like, glad Some of it didn't come out. And remember when I reached for a chapstick and I grabbed a vial?

[B]

Okay, so we're saying that, yeah, I was gonna die with that. I was gonna die with that for you and for your sake. But there was definitely a part of me that was like, this is fierce. Oh, my God, my skull hurts. Thinking about it in the best way, though.

[A]

I was dead ass. I thought it was lip like a little Burt's bees.

[B]

No. Oh, no. I know, I know. It's setting powder if you really think about it.

[A]

No, it really is.

[B]

It was mine for a long time. Yeah, I was baking mine.

[A]

Isn't that like a new, like, rumor online right now?

[B]

Dude? So I feel like I don't have, like, blind items. Like, blind items.

[A]

Like celebrity blind. Yes.

[B]

Happen about me a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which you probably have had some, like, in your era.

[A]

Yes. And I had one about Coca Cola. Similar one that you just had.

[B]

And someone blind itemed me down, like, trying to just take me down this week. And I was like, you have to be kidding me. It's really funny too. Just, like, what actually happened? I was in the club for like five minutes. I did my club appearance and, like, got out of there.

[A]

Like, marquee partner.

[B]

Yes, yes. And I got the fuck out of.

[A]

There and then dipped.

[B]

It's so funny to me because if I could have ever hid the fact that I was on coke, I would probably still be on coke. My job would be like, you know what I mean? I was coming online. I'm like, like, literally, like, jaw swinging, snorting the floor, like, just like, you know, like underneath my nails, like all of it. Like, if I could have ever hidden in my sobriety, I don't know if I'd be sober. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was like she had to go sober. Like, just scroll on my TikTok. You'll see me on coke.

[A]

I posted a bit. We're just getting naked here. I posted a video the other day. Just like a random tick tock. And I. I need to stop doing this because I post a lot when I'm like, at an after party or something.

[B]

Oh, my God, me too.

[A]

And I'm like, me too. Cross side gone. They'll wake up in the morning. Millions of views.

[B]

I love. That was my whole shtick for like three years of my life. I was like, I'm gonna sleep till 4pm I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna do a really bad Smokey Eye.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I should go to the gym.

[A]

And have some kale, like, all over the place.

[B]

Face bloated, puffy from alcohol, like, and then I'd go out and then I'm posting all these fucking videos and I'm waking up to, like, drama. I'm, like, calling people my best friends. I've met them once, like, all of it. Oh, my God, it was. It was fierce. Girl, I.

[A]

You. You're one of the few people that.

[B]

Make me wheeze, which I. I just like. I hope you know that.

[A]

You just, like, make me giggle so hard. You make me. You're, like, in a healing right now.

[B]

I walk in.

[A]

I walk in and she's going, wait, the last time you drank was with me? We have to talk about that.

[B]

Can we talk about that? Talk about that, but with some serious parameters.

[A]

No, I know exactly what parameters we're going around.

[B]

There's. There's. There's a few things.

[A]

There's a few things that come.

[B]

The moral of the story is the last time. That's so crazy. I forget about that. The last time I ever drank was with you. And I think that I'll die having that be the last time I ever drank. So that's so funny. And honestly, I mean, nothing, like, extra, like, exponentially horrible happened. It was just like one of those bender fucking insane nights out. And, like, I woke up the next day with, like, the most anxiety. And I was on tour. I had to keep doing shows and, like, just like, keep. I remember calling you the next day and you were going to Charlie XCX or something, and I was like, I'm.

[A]

Ready to do more blows.

[B]

Yes. And I was like, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. But I've been doing it for so, Like, I'd been doing it for so long. And I was just like, oh, my God, I'm gonna die. But that is my last. That's actually so funny. My last memory on cocaine ever will be me and you on the bathroom floor of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Some New York hotel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm straddling best friend.

[A]

Yes. I'm Already walked in because we hadn't met in person yet. And I walked into your green room and it was the most, like, motley crew. And you go, how's. And I was like.

[B]

I was like, we had never met before that moment.

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

This is exactly why I'm sober. Because that's a perfect example.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Like, that is such a perfect example where it's like, what do you mean you've never. Like, you've never met this person. You walk into my green room.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone's Gremlin mode. And I'm like, oh, that's. And that's a real memory that someone has of you, Tana. Like, that perception that will never die. That's the first time you met me.

[A]

But I kind of love that. That was the first question. I called you Tana. I was like, well, Tana, I guess that's true.

[B]

Like, an eye for an eye.

[A]

Hey. And you go, haley.

[B]

Did you guys say Haley?

[A]

Yeah. How's Haley? I was like, this is perfect. Yeah.

[B]

And then. But honestly, it was the start to a beautiful friendship regardless.

[A]

And look at us now.

[B]

Yeah. And I think it's, like, you know, it's cool, too. Is just liking people sober. Like, going sober makes you realize you don't like a lot of people.

[A]

Do you go out sober?

[B]

Only when I have to.

[A]

Would you go out a lot now?

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

Because you're, like, in love.

[B]

In love. And just, like, you know, I think it's like, every memory that I could have created, like, you could make a mad lib. You could get a mad lib right now and be like, I did coke with blank, and I was here at blank. And then I ran into blank, and, like, whatever. Like, I could fill out that mad lib.

[A]

Like, I've probably have, like, a lot of tea on a lot of people.

[B]

I do.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yes. And, like, sometimes it's so funny because people, like, weirdly trust me with their tea. Not weirdly. I guess I do keep a lot of it, like, a secret.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, but in the canceled era, that was a little scary. It was like, why? You shouldn't be telling me this. But yeah, even just recently, someone told me this crazy tea, and I, like, I can't share it. It's about, like, one of the most famous people right now. Like, just doing some crazy. And I'm sitting on it. I'm, like, harboring it, clenching my asshole, waiting for it to come out to be. Like, I've known. I know. Like, yeah, I don't know.

[A]

There's, like, a lot of sus. People out there. There really is.

[B]

And shitty. Honestly, shitty men.

[A]

I guess that's the shitty men. And they're all gay. I just talked about this.

[B]

Talk about it again. Because I want to talk about it. Like, oh, my God, like, the guys who need to put their finger in your ass to come. And you're like, oh, my God. You're just. You're in the wrong. You're in the wrong field. Like, you need to have your thumb in my ass. No, I'm like, let's talk about it.

[A]

There was this one guy I used to get with that used to like and get on all fours and have me, like, fist his ass.

[B]

Fist. You mean like, like, like ufc and.

[A]

I would lose my nails in his ass. I've talked about this before. I wish that didn't go viral on Instagram because that was really scary.

[B]

It's always scary when makes it to IG reels. No, real tick tock is like princess fairy girl gay world. And IG reels is like, women need to make sandwiches.

[A]

Really scary on there. But yeah, I just feel like a lot more men like it in the ass and we really acknowledge 100.

[B]

Have you ever pegged someone?

[A]

I would. I would love to actually have you. I need to hear.

[B]

Carry the four, subtract the two, don't say how many.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I wasn't on, like a world tour pegging people. Okay. Just sometimes you slip and fall with a strap on. On.

[A]

Who buys the strap on, though? Is it there when you're doing it? Have you pegged your current.

[B]

No, you buy it. I've not pegged Mako.

[A]

Who did you.

[B]

It's not about who, really. It's, you know, it's more about what, when, where, why and how.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's like, why did you.

[A]

Is it like premeditated pegging? Like, I feel like you have to buy go to Home Depot.

[B]

Exactly. Like, genuinely. It so is. It's like. And then like, you're in the store and you're buying the strap on, and like, you're just like, how did I get here?

[A]

The cashier's like, can I say that the.

[B]

The craziest thing about pegging is post peg clarity. Like, is it like, you think you want this? And you're like, I'm gonna dominate this man. And you think it's gonna, like, like, heal whatever your dad did to you. Right? Like, you think you think it's gonna change everything, and then afterwards you're like, I am. This was so weird. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm on top. Like, it's like, what the.

[A]

You were on top. Well, like, what positions can you peg in?

[B]

All of them.

[A]

What?

[B]

And it's.

[A]

It.

[B]

The clarity is so fierce. Like, let me just tell you something. Like, I woke up.

[A]

You had post pet clarity.

[B]

I. Extremely. And like, I. It was just like, wow. I really. I thought I wanted this. You know what I mean? And the grass isn't always greener on the pegging side. Like that's.

[A]

Did you talk about it with a guy before you did it? You were like, all right, listen, Friday night we're gonna peg.

[B]

It's like in my Google calendar. It's like midnight to 2am fierce peg.

[A]

Fierce. Fierce Peg.

[B]

I can't. Fierce is my word that I'm beating into the ground, by the way. I'm so sorry. Now what?

[A]

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[B]

You know what's funny?

[A]

You like to party. You still like to party at least?

[B]

Yes, when I did. I mean I'm from Vegas, right. So that's, that is a factor in a lot of my mental illness.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I was just coming here a lot and it was really close, like 45 minute flight and I was like where I needed to be. And I feel like it wasn't like cool for like an influencer to be in New York for like the first like seven or eight years of my career. Like where I, where I needed to be was LA because it was like YouTube. It was a different time. It was like I needed to be mavericking it up with Logan Paul and fudgeing who, whatever else.

[A]

Team 10.

[B]

Yes. I need exactly like what I needed was in L. A And then I actually did almost move to New York. I toured. It's by the bridges, one Manhattan Square. I toured that and I really, I love that building. It's a really cute. But it's, it's an interesting area.

[A]

I mean New York's just like, I always just wondered like the difference between like going out in New York versus like going out in la. Cuz I feel like here just like all house parties and New York is.

[B]

So much better all around. Honestly, I really almost moved there. Like I really, I have a special, special place in my heart for New York. It's so great. And like, I think people just. In LA too, like everyone gives so much of a. About like how they look and how they act and like how you look and how you act. Like you walk in a room and everyone like they're turning their neck, they're saying something, it's clicky. Like in New York no one gives a if you live or die in the best way. Like, no one's like, you know what, I'm real. Like you could drop dead on the street in New York.

[A]

No one hates you in New York. They'll be like, I hate you. But if someone hates you in la, I feel like they're like, I love you so much.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The most beautiful hair. No one would ever say that to me. That was a bad example. But you know what I mean? Like 100 love your hair. Hatred, guts.

[B]

Yes. And it's like even just Vegas is very much more like New York. Like people are Very, very real there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So moving to la, it was like very jarring for me. I've always like, loved east coast people because they remind me a lot of like my hometown and my hometown people, just very real and very honest. But New York wouldn't have been good for me at the time. I wanted to live there because you can go crazy.

[A]

Like, you can go balls to the wall.

[B]

Yes. And the raging I've done in New York is to be studied. New York is why I went sober. Like, genuinely, like, like that moment was like. Well, there was a lot of reasons.

[A]

But I mean, I'm definitely in an unhealthy pattern right now with like my relationship to going out. I feel like all my friends right now are in an era where they're, you know, getting into serious relationships and like trying to like be like a little sober, curious and just thinking about like being a little more wholesome. And I'm like, I'm going out with 22 year olds and staying out until the sun comes up.

[B]

I mean, honestly, like going to town. I had that, I had that era of my life and I don't think there's anything wrong with anything. Like, I think that everything should come when you want it. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. But like.

[B]

Because nothing's ever gonna work if you're doing it for other people, right?

[A]

No. Like ever. No.

[B]

And if you are, like, if you do, I don't know what you want. I don't know, like, you know what I mean? But whatever you want, you can make it happen, you know, just like the.

[A]

Men in New York don't exist, but I don't think they exist.

[B]

We had like a really interesting conversation on that canceled episode that got blasted. I like space.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About your relationship with the idea of monogamy. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know really how I feel about it, but I. Then again, I don't think I've ever been in like a really. I don't think I've really been in love, really. I think I've like thought I was in love, but I was so young, so it's like kind of confusing. But I haven't had a serious relationship since I was like, would you.

[B]

If it was the right person.

[A]

Yeah. I've been in so many situationships where like I wanted to date them, but they weren't the right people and they didn't want to date me.

[B]

No. So much of my love, like genuine, like people I was in love with. I feel like looking back now, it like was literally unrequited like that person did not love you back, you loved them.

[A]

But they. Yeah, back or like, and like I feel like people that are obsessed with people that don't like them back is because they're not giving you or validating something in you that you feel like is not validated.

[B]

I, I would fall so in love with the chase. But I think that's because like, at least for me in my childhood, I felt like I had to earn love. And so I like became, I, I don't know how to explain. Like that pattern became ingrained into my head, you know what I mean? Of just like love is not love unless you earn it. Unless you like. Yeah, it's not unconditional for it.

[A]

And like it's conditional.

[B]

Yes, exactly. And like then addicted to those dopamine highs of when you feel like you successfully earned it and then like chasing it in the lows. And like that was me my whole life until honestly, until Makoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it seems like a sweet guy.

[B]

It's so interesting too because like he, because like I was just about to ask you, I was about to be like, well, what are the qualities that you like are looking for? Like what would make you fall in love with someone? What would be your ideal partner? But like if you ask me that about Makoa like or about my partner before, I would have said everything that he isn't like, like, do you know what I mean? I would have been like, I want this and this and this and this. But in reality like I needed this and this and this and this.

[A]

The things I look for and the things I need are like completely different. Two different things. Like I feel like the things I go for right now are a little more like chaotic and so just like red flags. And that's entertaining to me.

[B]

It's so fun.

[A]

It's hot to me. Cuz it's just like kind of like a cat mouse, like J situation. But I feel like the person that I will end up with is going to be probably a little bit older and like not in front of a camera.

[B]

Yeah, I was. You're the star. Like you need the person who is just like, she's the star. Maybe there's a rock.

[A]

I've talked about this like a rock star relationship. Like one person has to be a rock and the other has to be a star. And like they each like kind of balance each other out and make it work.

[B]

That's actually like. Yeah, it's very profound.

[A]

I don't think there can be two stars.

[B]

I 100% agree. I mean, I think there are rare anomalies where that works for some people. Yeah. Like some people. Yeah. Posh bison.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What does he do? Kick a ball.

[A]

Soccer. Yeah. One of them.

[B]

Like some relationships where it does work, but I don't know.

[A]

But then also monogamy like we were talking about on the canceled app. I don't know how much I like believe in it right now.

[B]

Do you think that other people have ruined your faith in it or do you think that you personally.

[A]

I don't know. I think I'll be monogamous eventually, but I just don't think I've met the right people where I want to be. Yeah. Loyal to.

[B]

I think you will.

[A]

I will. But like, oh my God, I sound so bad right now. Like I'm just going to cheat on everyone forever. No, that's not even it.

[B]

I just, I was like that. Like, I really was. I like just. I wanted only toxic, turbulent shit. And like. You know what I mean? Whether I was the toxic person or they were, we both were like.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Serious relationships. Have you been like in.

[B]

It's like I genuinely need like a Venn diagram to answer that question because it's like some might have been serious to me. Maybe they weren't serious to them. Maybe. You know what I mean? I didn't take something seriously and the guy was really good or like just a relationship wise. I've been in a lot of relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like just.

[A]

Did you get married at one point?

[B]

That's what I.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's literally a pie chart. Like I don't even know how to find lives. I. It's so funny cuz I just hired. Not just hired, but like six months ago I hired a new assistant and she doesn't know like anything about who I was before this. Tana. Which is so funny.

[A]

Is this your favorite version of you by.

[B]

I think it's the only one I claim. Like I'm so. I. I hold hands with all the other versions of myself.

[A]

Like, what was your favorite era? This one. Besides this one.

[B]

Oh my.

[A]

Or your messiest era.

[B]

Yeah. I can look back with like respect for all of them. Like all of those girls got me here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like I, I appreciate them so much. And like I think I did my best with the cards I was dealt. Truly. I was dealt a shitty hand.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I like worked it out and got here. But Jesus Christ, I was just such an insane person for so long. I like, I'm doing a YouTube video right now where I like react to my own camera, roll over the years and photos. And it all started because.

[A]

Brilliant.

[B]

The other day someone sent me a photo of. It's me, my friend Diablo, Paris Hilton and Demi Lovato. And Paris and Demi are sitting there in blazers. They look amazing. Like they're posing. Diablo's just like posing. I'm wearing this Chanel tweed two piece set. Like I should be classy, right? You want to know what I'm doing? I'm lifting the Chanel tweed to show my full tits. And I'm going like this in the tweed. And Paris is sitting there in a blazer and I'm like, Tana, like, I don't even know how to say this nicely, but like, kill yourself. Like, like put the top down. Like, it. It was just like always that, like, I was just. Everything was that just so chaotic.

[A]

But like, chaos is fun.

[B]

It is so fun.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I think, that's what I think. I just, I did it. Like, I got so tired of it because, like, chaos also, for me at least, like, there are so many negatives. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. For me, a lot of drama.

[B]

Like, drama and feeling like, about my own decisions and like, just.

[A]

That's all I do is be like, about my own decisions.

[B]

But it's. I. It's such great content. It is so great for the plot. It is. I'm so happy now to be a. With lore. Like, I'm happy, I'm happy I did it all. Like, I love my lore now. I'm like. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, yeah, I mean it's good stories to tell and stuff for sure.

[B]

But I don't think I'll ever go back. Like, I just.

[A]

No, I feel like you're so. You're like in Hawaii. Just like.

[B]

And it's. And it's so. It's so crazy. Like, I wish you could tell me in my p. Chaos, like, boring will be your goal. You just want to be underwater. You respect your boyfriend. That's cute.

[A]

That's great. You respect yourself.

[B]

Yeah. Literally.

[A]

I need to get that.

[B]

No, but like, at the same time, I also never want to be the like sober police or like the preachy police.

[A]

Because, like, no, I don't get that vibe.

[B]

Like I, I went sober and unsober and went in and out of it for so long. Like, I had to get it all out of my system. I had to like hit my own moment where I wanted to be done.

[A]

And it was that night in New York.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You were like.

[B]

It was how I felt the next day.

[A]

Yeah, it really was anxiety.

[B]

And I'd been. I meant to go on that tour sober. And, like, I. Like, I told myself for my birthday in June. That June, yeah. That I was just gonna get drunk for my birthday trip, go sober, go on tour, be sober. And then I was drunk from June to September, every single day. I was faced. And, like, I'm on tour, and I'm, like, drinking beers, and I'm trying to wean off of it and, like, be light about alcohol. And, like, you saw me. You were there that night. Nothing was light.

[A]

I think you're better on stage, sober or off a couple drinks. Because I feel like, me. I would drink before. To be honest.

[B]

A couple drinks is the dream. Right? And if I. If me and a couple drinks could be friends, I wouldn't be sitting here saying, like. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I'm saying, yes, a drink or two. To go out and do a show is great. You're feeling the energy of the crowd and all of that stuff. But the amount of shows that I did faced, like, is to be studied. Oh, my God. So it's like, yeah, I don't. I don't have moderation.

[A]

Didn't you used to, like, perform music?

[B]

Oh, yes. That was an era in my life.

[A]

That could be your favorite era. I feel like that should be.

[B]

That is not my favorite era. I'll tell you. I was just dating musicians, and I think I was so diplomatized that I thought I had to become them.

[A]

Like, you were, like, doing what Kourtney Kardashian does.

[B]

100. Yeah, but, like, way less. Like, she just puts the leather jacket on, and she's like, trap. But I was like, I want a face tattoo, and I'm gonna write this rap and wrap it. And I'm like, on Valium on stage, rapping, like, my rap. Like, what are you doing?

[A]

But honestly, you have the confidence to do it that time people were, like, writing for you and just.

[B]

I needed more people. No. Well, I. I always go back and forth this where I'm like, I needed more people telling me no. But at the same time, who I was like, yeah, yeah. Barack Obama could have walked in and said, like, no, you shouldn't do this. And I would have been like, you don't get the vision. I'm like, you know, it's like, you.

[A]

Don'T get the lore.

[B]

I'm a rapper and you're not.

[A]

We. Did you rap or just sing?

[B]

I both. A whole lot of Both. And it's all ear blood to me. I'll tell you the God honest truth. And it's so funny to me. Like my fans to this day love it and like, want more. And like I, I've. I have a very weird relationship. I hate it. Like I'm like, don't play that. I don't want to hear you can't watch it back. Oh my God. I did a video reacting to all my old music videos. Full music videos.

[A]

Yeah, I haven't seen those yet.

[B]

Oh, it's. You'll have a whole time. And it's. Don't text me about it, don't talk to me about it. But you can do it on your own time. And like I'm, I'm starting to just like, it's camp. Like it's funny but like that's just.

[A]

Like your younger self. It's camp. Yeah, it's exactly, it's camp.

[B]

And like just that, like just going from like nothing to like having the world in my hands at like 16 and 17, I was like, I just, I needed to be humbled bad, you know?

[A]

How old were you when it was like covet in la? What was that like?

[B]

I was.

[A]

Because I feel like that was a fever dream. I feel like that's all the videos were just like, it was going nuts.

[B]

So I was so awful. I mean, first of all, let's just get that right out of the way. I was so awful. I remember like just I lived next door to the Hype house, if that tells you anything. They were my. It's like coronavirus. The Hype house is my neighbor. Next door house is touch and. And like coveted relationships. Like I was doing a lot of that. Like I would just be locked in.

[A]

With something because that's when Tick Tock was really just like boom.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's when everyone was popping off because everyone was like stuck inside, like hitting the Renegade.

[B]

And like my house was like the Hype house. So I was throwing parties, I was throwing ragers. So I'm just jaw swinging, posting with all the Tick Tockers and people are like, it's a global pandemic. And I God, you mean. And it was so fierce. And I'm still just, oh my God, like kill me thinking about it.

[A]

CO was really weird in New York as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just like this ghost town. It is.

[B]

I feel like it just even Tick tock and like where we're at societally, wouldn't be a thing at all if it weren't for co, like being in the house. Everyone's attention spans got collectively so much shorter and worse. Like even just relationships and situationships. No one was like going on dates. So that became normalized, like dating culture almost became like everyone was like doing.

[A]

More online dating, I feel like, and not meeting each other in person than meeting each other in person. Having to like stick with them for a long time because of like Covid restrictions. I was like hooking up with this guy during COVID and I feel like still looking back, that was probably like my most dark situationship era ever in time.

[B]

And like it's something about like feeling like the world is ending. You're like, I have to like marry that. Like, the attachments to the people that like I dated during COVID were so.

[A]

Much like, yeah, you have nothing else to focus on.

[B]

On. Yes. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm just like rotting in bed with somebody's son who's a lizard and like, it's just like, oh my God.

[A]

Not all of them.

[B]

Actually a lot of them were really good people as well. Let me know. I was the lizard. Let's be real.

[A]

No, I was a lizard. It's.

[B]

And it happens.

[A]

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[B]

You know what I love about me? Every influencer ever. You know what I love about me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, but that's a valid question. I went for like seven minutes. I. I was known in high school for only going to school on Fridays because I wanted to know what was happening on the weekend. Like, I like would go to school on Friday to be like, what's the function?

[A]

That's kind of brilliant. And you went to high school in Vegas?

[B]

Yes. And it, it was, it changed. It made me who I am for sure. It was crazy.

[A]

I went to all girls, all girls Catholic school for eight years and we're still sitting right here.

[B]

You and I are perfect examples of how you can be in the opposite and like, become the opposite or like become a product of your environment and then still end up in the same.

[A]

I just like, can't believe. I can't even imagine more people scissoring.

[B]

Like, did you lez out?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Did you not leave out?

[A]

I've chowed once.

[B]

You shout.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How was that?

[A]

It was fine. But it was like performative. I feel like it was a guy. Was there. Yeah. So I was like, is this really gay or is it really straight? You know what I mean? Because I was doing it for the male gaze.

[B]

Yes. 100.

[A]

But it was fine.

[B]

I've never done that. I've never munched box.

[A]

You haven't?

[B]

I was just munching box on my. In my free time. Oh, yeah. I've never had a threesome.

[A]

You've never had a threesome?

[B]

Only foursomes.

[A]

Okay, so you're just like leveling up on me.

[B]

No, no, no. Because like a threesome is more like classic.

[A]

You like the human centipede.

[B]

Yeah. And where were you in the mix? If you were in the human centipede, which centipede would you want to be the first one, like, face to ass.

[A]

No, you're the one at the front.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

The one at the back is the. Or the one in the middle will probably be the worst.

[B]

The one in the middle is crazy.

[A]

That movie was probably the scariest movie I've ever seen.

[B]

I remember what I was wearing when I saw that. And why was everyone, like. Like, I'm serious. Like, it was like, a formative experience. Why was everyone so obsessed with it? Like, why did it. Why. Why is a whole society and I feel like this was at the same time as, like, two girls, one cup. I don't know if you got weird. One guy, one jar, one girl, one horse. Like, I'm just saying, it was like.

[A]

It was like the ways that just flowed naturally off your tongue.

[B]

One guy, one jar is the craziest one. I'm not recommending it to anyone.

[A]

Wait, what's one guy, one jar?

[B]

He just, like, it's one guy. And get this. And get this. There's one jar. And he shoves it.

[A]

He just shoves it.

[B]

And then I think it breaks.

[A]

He shoots.

[B]

I think it breaks. It was like you fisting that guy and your acrylics are coming off. It's like, kind of the same thing. One Halle, one fist.

[A]

One gaping hole. No, but I would say, like, I compared, like, a threesome to the human Centipede because one person's, like, in the front.

[B]

Honestly. Yeah, walk me through your threesome.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Actually, this is a crazy story, but I don't know if I could.

[B]

I'm ready.

[A]

It was Covid.

[B]

Okay? She's like, I had an N95 mask on. I'm eating pussy through it. No.

[A]

So I was talking that guy that I was talking to during COVID and we were having, like, FaceTime sex in, like, a bathroom. So I just, like, had, like, full blown, like, camera, like, FaceTime front screen. Like, popping my. On camera at this house party that, like, was in Boston.

[B]

Okay. As in, like, all eyes on me in the center of the ring. Like, everyone's watching you do this or you're, like, in a bathroom.

[A]

No, in a bathroom.

[B]

A locked door.

[A]

Okay. And, like, camera, like, you know, just.

[B]

The whole, like, like, outside, someone's on ox. It's like, all I is yellow.

[A]

Okay. No, literally.

[B]

And.

[A]

I, like, I left. Whatever. I finished with him. I come out. This couple had been, like, the whole day. Okay, okay. These two people, and they were, like, the only two people left at this party. So I was, like, already, like, horny as after having FaceTime. Sex with this guy. So I was like, it would be fun if, like, we both sucked this guy's dick.

[B]

And this is not the friend where you, like, biannually suck her boyfriend's dick.

[A]

For, like, oh, no, that's my other friend.

[B]

Okay. That's. That's my favorite thing that you do. Dead ass. But we'll get there.

[A]

We'll get there, we'll get there. But then this girl, like, pulls out a bag, starts doing blow. And so we're, like, kind of doing blow off this guy's dick. And, like, this is at a house party where, like, everyone went to bed, like, and we're in their living room. So, like, there's, like, a bunch of rooms off where they're, like, just living room cocaine.

[B]

Threesome is so fierce.

[A]

On a leather couch.

[B]

At least it was leather.

[A]

Yeah. And so this girl gets completely naked, okay. And then she, like, sits on his face. I sit on his dick, and then we switch. And then I'm going down on her, and he's behind me, and then we switch. So it's just, like, a bunch of switching.

[B]

That's what I mean. Like, disassociated for two seconds and came back, and I was like.

[A]

I wish I could draw you a picture.

[B]

No, I have one.

[A]

No, you do.

[B]

No, it's hot.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It is, honestly hot. So you're just, like, switching like that?

[A]

Yeah. Switching back and forth. And he was like, honestly, I was scared. I didn't want to do, like, the whole threesome thing, but this girl really wanted to do it. And I was like, also cocaine.

[B]

Like, I'm just thinking about the amount of times where I was, like, doing a line. I was like, I'm gonna give a blowjob. And, like, you think it's the most, like, fierce work that you've ever given. And, like, your makeup's, like, bleeding. Your mouth's dry as it's like sandpaper. Like, you're, like, wiping your snot. You're, like, crying, he's not coming. He's on CO2. You're doing, like, like an hour. You have TMJ and, like, Carpal tunnel.

[A]

You're kind of, like, gnawing on it, too, because your jaw is, like, going back and forth 100. It's, like, the least hot thing ever.

[B]

Literally ever.

[A]

But that was my thing.

[B]

That's. That's so funny. Like, all of the. Like, I. I even think, like, my. I was gonna bring up my pegging Laura again, but, like, just the things that you think you need to do sexually when you're on coke and you think it's so hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, you are disgusting. I know.

[A]

And when I'm all drunk, my eyes crossed. So I was probably, like, sucking him off like this. Like. Like, drooling down face, bloody nose.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All of it. And I was like, this is so hot.

[B]

Yes. That was literally me for so long. It's so funny. I've, like, done such a 180 now where I'm like.

[A]

So you, like, make love?

[B]

Yes. Like, I'm like a missionary starfish. Little. Look me in the eyes. I love you, daddy. Like, baddie. Like, because it's like, why were you swinging from ceilings? You know?

[A]

Like, I was doing the most.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And, like, I think formative almost again.

[B]

It'S just like, what did your father do to you? Like, why? Or what did your. What happened in your childhood, Tana. To where you need to be like. Like spider pig in the bedroom.

[A]

I, like, think about me because I have a great relationship with. Yes.

[B]

I love your dad.

[A]

He's amazing.

[B]

I don't know him. I'm so parasocial.

[A]

But, like, I. I feel like I'm still, like, sick in the head like, that. I feel like I don't have an ass, so I have to make up for it with being, like, sick in other ways.

[B]

You are so fucking funny. Like, that is literally insane.

[A]

Like, I have to distract them from my AirPod build.

[B]

I think AirPod build is the new.

[A]

I think Brooke taught me that. I think she said that word to me and it stuck in my head.

[B]

And it's so crazy. Like, just the Internet making people, like, even. Just, like, people. Like, I know she had that whole thing with her boob job, and I was like, I literally, like, I want to come online. And, like, was it that?

[A]

Yes. And it's like, she's so honest about.

[B]

It, too, and, like, everyone has one. And, like, I just. I think it's so unfair the way the Internet, like, picks and chooses who they want to like. And that, like, body shaming is so fine the second a girl gets anything done. Like, then suddenly it's like a free for all people. But I want to say to you, I was gonna open up this podcast by saying this because it's, like, so wholesome. But instead we started with I don't.

[A]

Even know what we like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pegging.

[B]

Pegging. I want to say, I want to give you your flowers for being. Just sharing everything that you're going through right now and, like, going through in life and being so vulnerable. About it because it's like. And it's such a corny word to use and I hate when someone says it to me when someone's like, you're so brave. And it's like, I'm a, like white in blonde influencer. Like, I'm so brave. Thank you. You know what I mean? But like, yeah, it is so brave to sit there and film something and know like the second I hit post on this, I'm going to receive hate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For something that I'm going through and I'm trying to help people and I'm being vulnerable and people go through this every day, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna face that anyways.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In hopes that A, this helps me and B, this helps someone else. Yeah. And you don't see enough of it either.

[A]

I mean, I've been dealing with this since I was like so young, like 12. And I just remember like having so much shame around the conversation because people like, it's such like a shameful mental illness, I feel like. And it's not talked about a lot. So I just like, think in my head, no like, matter the amount of hate that I might receive for the way I look online or the way I talk about it, but I feel like if it could help like some 12 year old out there, then I feel like I'm doing something for someone that's kind of how I look at it. I'm trying to like heal my younger self.

[B]

No, it's true. And I think that, like, women are so layered and sometimes people also aren't ready for that. It's like at one moment you might want to be being so funny and so crazy and saying these crazy things and then the next moment you want to be like this, this, this is this real thing that I'm struggling with. And then people are like, well, you can't struggle with this because you do this, this and this and this and this. And it's like, no, I'm layered. I'm a person. And like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know, I just like, even like lately I've been having a lot of influencer friends struggling with a lot of stuff, like behind the scenes and they'll hit me up and like, my advice especially because, like, a lot of people will share everything until it's something really deep, dark.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And don't get me wrong, sometimes it's like, maybe don't share that until you're mentally well enough to share that. Because like, like of the Internet in the world. But if you're in the head space. Like, my advice always is, if you're in the head space to be vulnerable with your audience, like, you will help people. You'll help yourself, because it's like, then you don't feel like you're hiding this big thing from people, and. Or you're like, hold yourself accountable in a way.

[A]

And I feel like I'm so unserious online. I talk about, like, the most unserious ever, like, dick or going out partying, whatever. And I feel like I'd be doing myself a disservice if I didn't share a side of me that was actually a little more, like, concrete and serious. And I just want to give people the full picture, because the whole part of my shtick is, like, being authentic.

[B]

I relate to that.

[A]

You know, like, you want to be a real person, and I feel like it's a bad thing, but it makes me kind of tangible in a way where it's no.

[B]

And I don't think it's a bad thing. I really don't. It's sad that, like, society might make you think that, but, like, I think it's such a good thing, and I relate to that so heavily. That was, like, why I started ever talking about my sober journey, because I was like, a. Like, I want to help the crazy girls out there, you know? And that's another thing, too. Like, even just with my sobriety, I'm always like, I want to show the, like, crazy girls that there is, like, a world where, like, if Tana did that, I can do it too. Like, I was so in the trenches and so crazy and that, like, you don't. I feel like when you're crazy, you also associate, like, you're fun with being crazy. Like, I'm not gonna be fun anymore if I do this. And, like, you know what I mean? I just want to show people that there is another side of that, and you're doing the same thing, and the other side of that is holding yourself accountable.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Like, that was the main reason I started doing it. I was like, I have to say, I'm sober to all these people, so that, like, it's embarrassing if I'm not.

[A]

You know what I think is nice about, like, your whole journey is people saw you in, like, every phase, so they. I feel like people watch you, like, evolve as a person, too, and, like, watch your frontal lobe kind of develop.

[B]

Which is really click, like a light switch. It is night and day.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I love that. I think it's sweet, But I think.

[B]

You should just never stop talking about the things that you're going through. Even if you feel like people don't take you seriously.

[A]

Because then I talked about it and I was getting sent, like, not that I go in it, but I get sent threads and it's hard not to, like, sometimes click.

[B]

I think sending someone a Reddit thread about them should be punishable by law.

[A]

By law.

[B]

And I mean that with everything.

[A]

It's crazy because people are now like, oh, she wants everyone to know how sick she is. I'm like, I was just being honest.

[B]

Like, yeah. And like, it's also someone in Nebraska in like a bluey T shirt. That's like writing that about you.

[A]

That's not normal behavior.

[B]

I 100 agree. I think that people need something to feel passionate about, and when it's not their own lives, it's other people's. But just like, do your best not to consume fan fiction because at the same time, while there is someone writing that thread about you and making you feel, though it literally is like, fan fiction. Like, people don't realize these are real people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you probably have also had a girl come up to you and be like, thank you so much for posting.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I was getting so many dms. Being like that episode or like that tick tock was really helpful for me and just like, telling my family and my loved ones about what I'm going through. And like, that was like, kind of like the message I wanted to get across is like their difficult conversations. Like, that whole episode was like, like kind of like swallowing all my words and like stuttering because it was like an anxious.

[B]

Yeah, like, you're freaking the. I know that. Yeah, you're just freaking out to say it.

[A]

I had to get it across.

[B]

And you, like, convince yourself that, like, you know what I mean? Just like, I should stick to saying the easy stuff and like, whatever. Like, it's a lights. Very. A layered thing, but you're showing the duality of woman. And I think that's important. And just like. But the effects that, like, this life can also have. You know what I mean? Like, it's.

[A]

It's weird. I've never really had a lull because I'm kind of newer just, you know, social media in general. And I've never had a dip in my, like, weight or my mental health issues and stuff with food where I've been, like, in the public eye. So people kind of watched me, like, kind of decline really quickly. And it was just like, I wasn't addressing and I feel Like, I had to address the elephant in the room, but now that I did and I said, this is kind of like a weakness I have. Which, you know, I feel like it's a brave thing to acknowledge your weaknesses.

[B]

I 100.

[A]

But now people are like, okay, this is her Achilles heel. So this is like, what? Hate comments will actually affect her. Because, like, we're like, yeah, your botched filler, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Your hair, blah, blah, like all these other things. But it wasn't really, like, affecting me. But now that they know that this is like a topic that maybe is a little closer to. Yeah. Sensitive. They're like, okay, we can knock her down a peg for this.

[B]

And I.

[A]

You're.

[B]

You're human.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're human for being knocked down by that. But what I will say also with what I know about you, I don't know you, like, so well, but I'm also very parasocial with you and I keep up with everything that you do. Yeah. And I have so much faith that you are such a strong headed, strong willed person and that eventually you will be able to read a comment like that and genuinely feel nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you will prevail from that being. Because if you already hit the nail on the head with the psychology behind it, it's like, this person is just trying to hit me where it hurts. And, like, they have to be hurting so bad in their life. Misery loves company, 100%. You, like, want to do that to me and to continue to prevail and show up. Like, the fact that you are still showing up and prevailing and just being like, nope, I'm here and I'm going through this and I'm sharing it and I'm gonna get better and, like, all these things and I'm gonna feel better. Like, that is such an insane testament to so many people.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just trying not to, like, read comments as much because I feel like it's so important to protect your piece. But, like, obviously we go through, like, rabbit holes where we're like, of course diving on. Like, I just, like, want to know what people. How I'm perceived. But, like, I feel like I think.

[B]

No, I cut you off. No, I cut you off. Learn, learn. Literally, take an Adderall. Focus, learn. She was talking. Continue.

[A]

Wait. I'm, like, really bad about that too.

[B]

It's adhd.

[A]

I have adhd, but I can't. Because the eating stuff, I can't treat it.

[B]

No. And it's.

[A]

That's so real.

[B]

I honestly hate treating my adhd you don't, like, at all. Like, I hate that I need it. Like, when I take it, I'm like, oh, my God. Wow. Like, this is how people form conversations and finish tasks. Masks and pay attention and be on time and.

[A]

No, literally. But, like, sometimes have that adverse effect on me where, like, I can't speak. So I always get worried to, like.

[B]

Do it before podcasting on Adderall. Feels like I'll be like, solving a sudoku puzzle. Like, it hurts. I couldn't. And I hate that those are the only medicines to, like, fix adhd.

[A]

No. Yeah. I had a whole ADHD son in.

[B]

College and I had a whole something that I wanted to say to you.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.

[B]

No, no, no, I forgot.

[A]

And then I remember you having adhd.

[B]

We're just like, turning ADHD off, you know?

[A]

Like, we're like, oh, squirrel.

[B]

I want to say that. Just try to remember that you're indifferent of all of those comments. Like, I always, like, I always say this to people. And I would drill this into Brook's head. Even. Just like, upon especially coming into things. It's like someone right now somewhere is calling you Jesus. And someone right now somewhere is telling you to kill yourself. And like, neither of them, those things are true. Like, you are literally indifferent of everything because it's scary. Because if you start basing your self worth and your mental health in the good comments, even like, oh, my God, you look so pretty, or, oh, my God, you're so funny, or, oh, my God, whatever, you start to put weight into them and believe, like, these comments are valuable. Yes. Are value. Exactly. And so then when you're reading someone say something bad, that same, like, value is there. It's like you're indifferent of all of that. And the people who know you know you. And you also have like, like, great writer dies, great family, great friends, which is.

[A]

That's also important. This industry, as you know, is, like, dicey when it comes to, like, having and holding long term relationships. So you got to keep your circle real close and everyone else is just at arm's length.

[B]

I always say that you can tell so much about a person, like, dependent on how they keep friends or how long they can keep friends or just how they move. Yes. Like, I see so much of that in la, where I'm just like, like, oh, my God, you have a new best friend like, every week. Or, oh, my God, like your friendships are so toxic.

[A]

Or, oh, my God, you're always in a fight with someone.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, you're always having a falling out with someone. Yes.

[B]

And it's just like. Yeah, I'm always just like mentally noting that. Cuz that's what it is. It's arms reach. Like you can still have fun with those people, but letting them into your.

[A]

Have you had a lot of friendship breakups?

[B]

No, no. I've had the same best friends for. I think you have like 13, 14 years.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

And we all live together to this day.

[A]

Wait, Amari from Vegas?

[B]

Yes. Yes. We grew up together and we met when we were like 12 and the family adopted me.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

And yeah, and they're the best. They're the literal best. And he's. It's funny, we were even like just on the car right over here. Mari and I were talking and he was like telling this story about we were in Vegas at some boxing match and he had the flu and he had a fever and he wanted to go home. And this is when I was like drinking and everything and I'm like, he's like, I have the flu, I have a fever, I want to go home. And I'm being like, do another bump, take another shot. You're not leaving. Like, I'll never let him leave anywhere, especially my drinking area. Like someone's leg could be cut off and they'd be like, I want to go home. And I'm like, like, that's just like.

[A]

I have a bandage.

[B]

I didn't care about anyone. I just wanted everyone to stay. And I was like, amari, it's so funny that you were like so nice to me and like, whatever. And he's like, no, you make my life so fun. Like, it was so fun. All our memories. And I'm like, that. That's. You're my soulmate. Because no one else feels that way.

[A]

I feel like Ran's my soulmate. Yeah.

[B]

And like how. How special is that? Like, I don't know. I. Friends to me or friend showed me what family is. I didn't know what it was until my friends.

[A]

Do you do all your holidays with Amari?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, that's so cute.

[B]

Ashley and Isabella and we all live together and we do everything together and it was great. Like in Vegas and here. Yeah.

[A]

And here it's like, yeah, we do it.

[B]

We do it all together and thank God for them. I don't know where I would be without them. And they have just, just. It's so funny. People will be like, they just stay with her for the life. The clown. Like these people have picked me up off the. Like, I was the worst like, they have. They were hiding the bottles and put up breaking up with the boy for me because I wouldn't like. They have. They have done it all for me. Like, just, they. We ride for each other.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

And you guys have that too. And it's really cute.

[A]

No, we do. Yeah.

[B]

He doesn't play about you in the cutest way.

[A]

No, he doesn't play about me. I don't play about him either.

[B]

Even just like your stories last night. You like posted on your story like we're sleeping in the same bed tonight or something.

[A]

I know we like, kind of fake a sexual relationship sometimes.

[B]

I don't know if it's fake. Have you guys ever done anything like, what's the most sexual never you've ever done? It's like he goes, it's.

[A]

Yeah, he would never touch my clam.

[B]

I believe that he would. He, like, I love, love clam clams. No, like, clam is like, can I steal that? Like, I'm, I'm. I'll give you full credit. I'm going to run that into the ground.

[A]

No, clam's how he describes it. I hope that's based off of what it looks like and not a smell, but yeah.

[B]

Oh my. Yeah. That's fierce. That's no.

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Should we tell each other each other's body counts but not on the pod, like, in each other's ears?

[A]

Yeah, I would say it if we cut it. Mine's like, are you laughing? Because that's not a lot or a lot. I want to know why you're laughing.

[B]

There was one Easter at the family Easter. I'm talking. Amari's parents are in on this. We all sat and we made a list of my body count. And mom's like, oh, no, remember that one? Dad's like. And he came over, like. And we all. We cracked. We cracked the code and I'll never do it again.

[A]

And I have a notes app, but there's still some guys there that. There's some guys I would literally generally walk past on the street and not know that we.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mine, weirdly, that's. Mine's like, yours would be this.

[A]

Can we keep in a reaction?

[B]

Yes, of course.

[A]

Losing.

[B]

Wait, I thought I remember every single one.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, weirdly, I don't think I remember any of them, to be honest. I don't remember the last time I had atober sex.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Does the morning count? I'm still pretty up. Yeah.

[B]

That is so interesting. That is so interesting. Like, does the morning count as sober sex? I'm gonna. I'm gonna say no when I Thinking.

[A]

About, like, no, because I feel like I'm the most delusional and silly when I'm hungover.

[B]

What's the, like. What's like the. Oh, my God. And I don't even know if I want to tell my story in response to this question, but what's like the most fierce week of your life? Like, sexually? Like, like, all in one week. You, like, did this. This like Halloween or like. No, not like. No, like, specifically, like, how many bodies did, like, what was the, like, craziest best sexual escapade week of your life?

[A]

I've been on a tear recently. I feel like it's been really bad. I'll let anyone hit. Like, if Marshall wanted to right now, I probably would take off my pants. There was this one weekend, though. Well, because I went on a six month hiatus this year.

[B]

From sex.

[A]

From sex.

[B]

Celibacy.

[A]

Like, she can't even say it. I can't even pronounce that word, to be honest. But, like, not even my choice. But, like, like, I just, like, didn't want to be naked with anyone. And then I just kind of, like, turned my brain off. Early September, and I was just on a tear. When it rains, it pours. But I think my worst scariest one was probably a few years ago when I. Five guys in, like, one weekend. And it was all.

[B]

Weekend was crazy. I was not expecting a Thursday to Sunday.

[A]

Yeah, it was like, I. One guy I met at the bar, this really hairy guy. And then the second day, I hooked up with my ex. Ex boyfriend. And then he, like. And then I, like, left his apartment and went back out. And then I liked, in, like, the bathroom of, like, a club. And then I had really, like, that. I was like, how many guys is that? Four. Three. Okay.

[B]

I love podcast producers because, like, he's literally getting paid to have to count how many bodies you caught in this weekend.

[A]

And then the next day, I was shaking. I need to go to brunch. I went to this brunch spot.

[B]

Me. God, I see so much of who I once was in. You can please continue. And then I.

[A]

This Mary guy likes.

[B]

And was he the finale? He was the fifth.

[A]

I think there was a fifth one in there somewhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Thursday night, Friday night, Friday, late morning. There was one Thursday night, Friday night. The wee hours of Saturday morning, Saturday night, Sunday. That's. That's fact. Were you like, a big club girl or were you, like, more just like house parties here in la?

[B]

I had a huge clubbing era I did here from what ages 17 to, like, 22. Because the clubs in LA used to be really fun. Honestly, like, Poppy used to be so. Delilah. Delilah used to be so fun. I loved the, like, I'm with Zach Bia era.

[A]

Like, so, like, love Zach.

[B]

He's.

[A]

Honestly.

[B]

Two weeks ago, LA has. You did what?

[A]

I got dinner with him.

[B]

Oh, I did. That's not what I thought you said.

[A]

Oh, I don't.

[B]

I don't know what I thought you said, but it wasn't that. I truly. I do love him so much, and I. I. This is so LA of me, and this is gonna get clipped and I'm gonna get ripped to shreds. But, like, he is so misunderstood, Zach Villa.

[A]

He's like the. Like, he's so angelic. Just. That's a crazy word to use.

[B]

Sweet, calm, and genuine.

[A]

Like, yes, anyone smart.

[B]

And it's so funny too because, like, you'll see the comments about him, and it's people being like, oh, my God, this man needs to be stopped. And then, like, the men getting all the hottest bitches, the men that are like, America's sweetheart in the public eye, are the ones, like, really actually cheating and actually, like, doing the diabolical shit. Like, he. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I know. He's just like, you sit down with him, and I'm like, oh, I get why you pull all the fucking baddies.

[B]

You're just normal and, like, funny and humble as well. Like.

[A]

And he's, like, kind of, like, moves, like, kind of stealthily. Is that a word? Stealthily?

[B]

Yeah, that is a word.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Like, mysteriously mysterious. And it's. It's a very, like, interesting life. And it's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even just people kind of be like, why does he, like, have whatever. Like, culture is so important. You know what I mean? And, like, especially in, like, PR and, like. Like, he's invited to these things for a reason. Like, he's tapped into the culture.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

No, he's great.

[B]

I'm gonna get annihilated for that. Which is, like, so.

[A]

Wait, why?

[B]

I don't know. I really think that once the Internet decides that they hate someone. What did you pull? Paper sassy questions that Marshall wrote that you've never read out of your ass.

[A]

I thought we were, like, having so much fun, though.

[B]

No, we weren't. What?

[A]

I didn't think we needed these.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.

[A]

Yeah, I was like, oh, like, I'm just gonna, like. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I thought you meant that. I just, like, came at your neck. I was like, no, I love you.

[A]

They come off too strong. We were.

[B]

I always love that when you, like, just sit down and.

[A]

Kiki. No. Yeah, I was like, really? Because usually sometimes I'm, like, anxious about sitting down with someone, but I was like, I feel like me and Tanner are just gonna, like, rip it 100. Yeah.

[B]

And some people, too, like, in podcasting and interviewing, like, their teams or just, like, who they are. It's like, more. It's strict. You gotta, like, have your. Together what you're asking and saying and stuff.

[A]

I don't like a script.

[B]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm just in that era. I love to come, like, like, have a conversation with people that I actually like or, like, yeah, believe in.

[A]

And I don't think we've ever, like, besides cancel one. But I don't think we've ever just, like, Sat down, me and you, where we just, like, chat.

[B]

And even that, like, it was. That canceled episode was just so funny. Like, it was just like the. We had the most rant. We were talking about capris for, like, 30 minutes.

[A]

Like, 30 minutes.

[B]

No one. Like, I just. I see people skipping that.

[A]

Like, we were talking about, like, Disney Channel adults or no Disney. Disney adults.

[B]

I do feel. Well, actually, I've had a recent change.

[A]

Of heart on Disney adults.

[B]

On Disney adults.

[A]

What's up with the Love Island Disney pipeline? Do you notice that, like, they all go to Disneyland after they come off the island? I don't get it.

[B]

That is so funny, actually, like, the super bowl, they're like, you just won Love Island.

[A]

Where are you going? We're going to fucking Disneyland. Yeah. I don't understand it.

[B]

Maybe. I guess the only thing that I could imagine is like. Like, they want to go get mobbed in real world, right? Like, it's like, new fame. Like, I remember that I was like, where can I take me to the grove.

[A]

Let's go to Craig's. Yes.

[B]

Like, I want everyone to see me. I know I'm like, Disney. I've only been. I think I, like, I had no childhood, so I didn't, like, have the Disney childhood. And then I've, like, only been, like, once or twice. So I, like, people have, like, extreme love for it. It was honestly one of my, like, someone on, like, my beauty team is, like, a Disney adult. And she came over. No. And she came over to give me a service, and she has kids, and she was just like. She is, like, definitely a Disney adult. And I asked her about it, and, like, her eyes, like, lit up so wide, and she's like, just, I. I don't care if I have to work every single day to do this. It's the happiest that I'm gonna be. And I have this, like, coming to Jesus, where I'm like, tana, you're. You were such an evil, awful, miserable hater. Hateful. Like, why were you taking out your anger for, like, literally yourself on Disney adults?

[A]

You understood it. I don't understand it either. Really.

[B]

I don't. I don't.

[A]

And I have nothing against Disney. I just has haven't gone as an adult. We should go together.

[B]

We really should. But I hate roller coasters.

[A]

You don't like roller coasters?

[B]

Which is so, like, ironic because I've, like, been on a mental one my whole life. But, like, I.

[A]

Maybe that's why you don't like them.

[B]

And then I dated a Girl who like. And I hate more than anything when someone's like, no, you don't hate them. Like, you just haven't, like, stop. Like, maybe you're scared. Like, you just need to have fun. Like, you're gonna love them. Like, everyone loves roller coasters and they, like, force you. And it's like, I dated someone who did that and, like, I went on all of them and at the end of it, I was like, I still hate roller coasters. And, like, quite frankly, I hate you.

[A]

Do you not like, honestly, you like. Do you not like things that make you, like, thrill seeking stuff? Like, would you jump out of an.

[B]

Airplane on, like, a full Xanax bar? I'd skydive.

[A]

I want to do that. I love Xanax. I can say that. I'm prescribed.

[B]

I am also prescribed. I like, sometimes I love a bar. I have anxiety, like, and I, like, need it sometimes. Obviously I'm prescribed it. And like, you know. Yeah, I had a Zana era where I was extremely misusing it.

[A]

I really want a Xana era. No.

[B]

You don't.

[A]

Well, you have a cool name to, like, go with Xanax. What would my name be?

[B]

Zal. No.

[A]

Anna and Z would have taken over the world.

[B]

Zanna and Sally, we'd be president.

[A]

Like, that would be a great show. It was.

[B]

It was so. I was so bad. It was so bad. And I was mixing it with alcohol. And that was when green Hulks, like, the green Xanax bars were a thing. And I was. I was the Hulk. Like, truly, I was going around and my. My catchphrase as Zanna too, was I would just be like, I'm faded, like, trying to, like, pass it off as, like, weed. And it's like, everyone knows that whatever the has you crawling on the floor right now is more than weed.

[A]

Would you, like, repeat yourself every, like, 10 seconds?

[B]

Like a loop? God, yes. I like. Oh, my. I want to, like, talk about my Xanax relationships, but I don't want to, like, out these people. But, I mean, whatever. And there's a. There's an infamous video of me talking to the paparazzi. And I'm coming out of catch and I had taken probably like 13 shots of tequila and like, a few Xanax bars. And I come out and I'm talking to the paparazzi. And they asked me. This was during COVID They were like, how do you feel about Addison Ray and Bryce hall breaking up? And I look at the paparazzi dead into the camera, and I see this. I hate People. I love them. Speaking Rubik's Cube. I hate people. I love them. And, like, that encapsulates my Xanax era.

[A]

And you're like, all right. That's when I'm gonna put down the greenhog. 100 once I took a Greenhawk before boarding a flight to. To Germany. And I left all my bags in my passport when I was boarding the flight because I was so barred out, like, while waiting for the flight.

[B]

100 it's just like, you.

[A]

Your memory's on it. 100 and then when you're coming down, you're, like, pissed at everyone.

[B]

You're living at the world. You're sweating.

[A]

Like, sweating profusely.

[B]

It's. Oh, my God. I remember my managers had to, like, block my drug dealers. It was, like, so fierce. My entire. I had an MTV show. And across the entire show I was on Xanax. Like. And you can tell.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No. Misusing Xanax definitely was not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know how I got that one together because I am an addict through and through. And now I can just take a little bit occasionally when I have anxiety and, like. Like, it's very normal. But.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you smoke?

[B]

Yes. I'm California sober. And I feel like I should say that more. So, like, I'm sober. And then people in the comments like, but you smoke weed. And I'm like, I can't.

[A]

Raw dog life. I, like, can't smoke weed.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I like. It freaks. I freak out and I crash out. It's one of the anxious person. I think about, like, outer space. I think about the fact that I'm going to die one day or, like, my parents are going to die before me. And, like, I think, like, that. That.

[B]

And I don't mean to go all like, Wiz Khalifa on you right now. But I am, like. So sometimes I'll pitch to people. Certain people, like, just. And I feel like I could pictures to you that I think that different strains do different things.

[A]

Okay. Because I'd be on.

[B]

No. You have to find it for you. It's. It's giving ayahuasca. It's giving your own journey.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like. But, like, certain strains will have me, like, counting my pores and, like, regretting something I did when I was nine. And, like, you know what I mean? And then other strains will help have me just, like, a little calmer but, like, significantly hungrier too. Which is scary. Like, the food I eat on weed does scare me.

[A]

That's like, I just, like, always, like, can't do it in like a setting where I'm around people, I'll be like, oh, my God, they think I'm weird.

[B]

I was the other day, someone was asking me just like, do you ever, like, hate, like, fan experiences or like, meeting fans? And I was like, no, I love it. Like, they made me. They've given me everything. I have. Like, I always have fun. The only time is if I'm like, black and I don't hate it, but it's just like, if I'm high as meeting someone and then I'll leave and be like, I was just so weird. I was just so weird.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That when I'm hung over, I'll be like, yeah.

[B]

No, literally, I'm like, thank you for the support. Like, when I'm high, that's the only thing. So to anyone who's ever met me when I'm high, I'm so sorry.

[A]

We covered a lot of crazy topics. We probably have like a 30 minute episode with.

[B]

With all the cuts. It's four minutes long. Let me. What's on these?

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

Or would you like to?

[A]

No, I want to. What did you print out, Marshall? I should probably look to this before me as though.

[B]

And I appreciate the honesty because a lot of people, like, you can just like, you'll sit down for an interview and you can tell that they have never read the cards, that they're asking you the questions and they're so committed to the lie that, like, they wrote these and studied and it's like, I know you didn't. I know you don't know about.

[A]

Like, I don't know much about Tanacon, though.

[B]

You're better off tell you that much.

[A]

Look at these images.

[B]

Wait, that's kind of fun. Should you give people advice?

[A]

I'm gonna. No. So, like, although it's like almost November, we're gonna have to change this soon. But you could call in. We're reacting to, like, people's submissions and how they were sketchy in September.

[B]

Okay. You could call it Nutty November.

[A]

You know, just Cocktober.

[B]

Yeah, I love cocktail.

[A]

I love cocktober.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

Anyways. All right, let's react to these.

[B]

I'm ready. So this is sketchy. People did in September. And then you're just kind of reacting to it. You're not telling them, like, good or bad or, like giving advice.

[A]

We could give some advice.

[B]

I'm down.

[A]

Some of them are just like, okay, like, I might open a business with my current boss, who I a dozen times I would say don't do that.

[B]

100 don't do that.

[A]

I would say absolutely not that unless.

[B]

You think you're going to marry the man. I wouldn't. I would say absolutely do not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Imagine you have the post not clarity. You guys are done an ip Like.

[A]

I don't know exactly. Exactly. Like a lot of moving.

[B]

It's like, whose LLC is this? And also like, you came in three minutes and I hate you.

[A]

Like, no, I don't like that for her. Okay. I met a dude at a bar. I went home with him. Him in the shower and his girlfriend walked in.

[B]

I would be. That is, like, really humbling because I'm really imagining the visual. And as much as we talk about how shower sex is hot, it's not hot. It. At a very rare occasion, it can be hot water is not a lubricant. 100%. I couldn't agree with that more.

[A]

Squeaky.

[B]

Yes. Like you eat her eater in the puss. 100 raw. And like, the position. Sometimes it's like, I meant to be toes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And like, just like, I. I can think about times where I was having shower sex and it's like, Tana, I know you were giving gut, like, beer belly gut. Like, they're not like, holding it. Yes. And then like, everyone's in a weird squat. Like, your knees hurt. And like, imagine like the girlfriend water.

[A]

In your face, in your eyes. You can't really see anything.

[B]

Well, now this girl who wrote in is gonna like, literally, like, yeah, just aw off. Like, what I will say is, it's not your fault, diva. And the man's a piece of. And oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, that poor girl.

[B]

And both girls, like, just everyone in that situation. Oh, my God. If I walked in on my man, someone in the shower, I'm just. IPhone photo immediately. Just photo immediately. New lock screen.

[A]

I would think I would like, hit.

[B]

Him, break the glass. Like, just freak.

[A]

I would go lose my mind. 100 like, why would he do that if the girl for they live together?

[B]

That. It is also crazy how cheaters get so comfortable. Like. Like, they just. They start slow by breaking the. The rules. And then before it's like you're literally another girl in the house that you live in with your girlfriend.

[A]

Like, yeah, it's disgusting. Okay. This girl I a guy at 10:30am and then a different guy the same day, 8:30pm so, yeah, I'm gonna say.

[B]

That'S a lot of time. You could do a lot of things in that time. You could shave a bush into a Heart or a star. Like, you could like, like summer, like, showering in between.

[A]

Like, I don't see what's wrong with it.

[B]

And honestly, like, even, you know, I've been there. You bird bath the puss in the sink. Like, oh, my God. You know, like, it's. That's. It's real.

[A]

You say bird bath the puss in the sink.

[B]

You know what I'm talking about? You know exactly what I'm talking about. You walk into that bathroom, you're bird bathing the puss. Like, oh, my God. You're like, I'm obsessed with you. It's just as I've. I've. I've hit a bird bath or two. I. I might try it. You too.

[A]

Do I tell my best friend I hooked up with her dad on his birthday? This goes deep, period. I'm gonna say, no, I wouldn't tell your friend.

[B]

And like, I know that we both just gave you shitty ass advice, but, like, I don't know.

[A]

I think ignorance is bliss here. Yes. In. Is telling her gonna make you feel better but. But ruin her whole life and you're gonna lose her as a friend? I think some secrets we can take to the grave.

[B]

I. I honestly, like when I pulled.

[A]

Out the vial on your podcast.

[B]

Yeah, it's funny because that moment was so. That moment was so jarring to me. You were like, that I left and I convinced myself I was like, that didn't. Like, I hallucinated that. Like, there's no way. Halle Bachelder just came on my podcast, reached into her pocket to grab a lip gloss, and instead of Isle of Coke came out like, I was 100, convinced that I, like, I was like, I dreamt that I made that up.

[A]

And I was so casual about it. I go, oh, I thought that was Burt's bees. And you guys were like, sitting across.

[B]

Me, like, but that was so me. Like, such. I love.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

She's like, they're probably judging me.

[B]

No, I was not judging you because that was so me at some. For me, like, I don't know, it was more alcohol, but I like the white claw inside of the, like, the lying, like, in the Starbucks cup. Like, that was me for a minute.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

You know, like, I'd go on someone's podcast and I'd like, bring my little to go cup and like, I'm like, make coffee. BlackBerry white claw and you're a mess, Tana.

[A]

Honestly, you're on my right now. Okay. Peed my pants blackout last night. Peed it on my phone. And it broke.

[B]

You gotta fix that. I'm not big on the peeing. Like, I think that, I think, I think that if you get to a point that you start peeing, just maybe die. That bring it back a little bit. I was. Well then more so with guys. And I have this up complex where.

[A]

Like, like I don't get people that peel, like when they're drunk a lot.

[B]

I think that, I mean, I was never personally, I've seen it a lot in life. I just like, even when I've seen that in friends, I'm like, okay, like some organs. Not like, we, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta go check it out. Like, we gotta take this UTI that.

[A]

Like never was healed.

[B]

Yes. Or like the bladders. Like, please water no more Titos. Like, you know, like, there's like. I don't know. But it, it is hard because I give more grace to girls than guys in every situation. Because like, when a girl does something, I'm like, it's kids camp. And then if I like, I. If that was like my boyfriend peed while he was drunk last night in bed.

[A]

I'd be like, my ex used to.

[B]

Pee all the time on you Hot or bed. Like Tide pods.

[A]

No, like, he would get up in the middle of night, blacked out. Go into like this one time we're in Aruba and we're like both staying on the out pull out couch. He walks into my mom's room and pees all over her makeup vanity. Like all over the place.

[B]

That's so funny because I was just gonna tell you that my best friend's like, ex would do that. And he peed all over her makeup.

[A]

Then like, he was fully naked. This taking out. My mom just like watching him do it. He was like, sleepwalking.

[B]

What did she do?

[A]

She just was worried he was going to climb into bed with her.

[B]

And then like, how did she bring it up the next day?

[A]

It was just an awkward family vacation anyways because my mom walked in on us having anal on that same plow couch. Like, it was kind of just like a L after an L. She was just like, you guys, this boy I dated did me dirty. So I set up a fake Tinder and ghosted him on their date.

[B]

I think that that's kind like always, Always make the. Especially in your early 20s. Like, everyone should have a little bit of a revenge era.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then eventually you grow out of it. Like, the universe will take care of everything.

[A]

No, I agree.

[B]

There was definitely a time in my life where I wanted to be the person's revenge. Like, it wasn't the universe.

[A]

Were you, like, vintage. What's the word? Vindictive. I'm, like, not good with words today.

[B]

No, you were like.

[A]

Like, when you would, like, go through a bad breakup or something, would you, like, want revenge on the ex?

[B]

Yes. I was, like, brutal. I was brutal. Like, I'm dating a best friend. I'm, like, I'm, like, doing it all.

[A]

Where's your dad?

[B]

Like, yes, yes. Like, genuinely, genuinely. I was so brutal. There was this one time I, like, whatever, tried to put a photo on a billboard and it didn't work. That's all I'll say. Like, was, yeah, no billboards. Would me excuse. Accept the.

[A]

The photo.

[B]

Pornographic quality of the photo.

[A]

But yeah, let's do one more little guy hit raw. He said the body count was three, but he was too much of a freak. And now I have an std. That was like a Dr. Seuss rhyme.

[B]

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, babe. Oh, God, men are so awful.

[A]

Once I got chlamydia, or, like, I think at least once I got chlamydia. And this guy goes. I go, oh, my God, you gave me chlamydia. And he goes, I only give my favorite girls chlamydia. And I was like, that's nice.

[B]

The bar is in hell. Oh, my God, that's so funny.

[A]

No, but, like, I think got me pregnant. It was a whole thing. But, like, anyway, guys, I love you.

[B]

I love you too. And thank you for whatever this was and how many problems it's gonna cause for me. I love it, but sometimes I just need to come be silly. You know what I mean? I'm on all these podcasts right now, just being, like, I am sober and I've grown so much and whatever.

[A]

But we covered that though, too.

[B]

But, like, I also just, like, I enjoy the funny, silly, sexual. And I think that is the takeaway of today's episode. The duality of women.

[A]

Okay, that should be what it's called. I. Duality of women. With Tana. With Tana.

[B]

I love that she didn't say one word right of that. Okay, you got it.

[A]

You're close. It's.

[B]

Yes. The watana. Is there alcohol in this?

[A]

Like, damn.

[B]

Every holiday shopper's got a list. But Ross shoppers, you've got a mission. Like a gift run that turns into.

[A]

A disco snow globe, throw pillows and.

[B]

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[A]

More, it's about giving more.

[B]

For less.

[A]

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[B]

That is a second act made possible by the reskilling courses Lisa's taking now.

[A]

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[B]

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[A]

Oh, right this way.

[B]

Who me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

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