
It's an Extra Dirty Bar bestie special with Liv and Lauren!! 💋 The drinks have been served and Lauren has a serious lack of survival instincts. The girls discuss what they watch to fall asleep, the haunted men of Hallie's past, the most out-of-touch thing Hallie does, and review YOUR dating app bios! Besos babe!
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I have flipping Lauren here. It's the first time seeing the bar. What do you guys think? It's gorgeous. Drinking. Lauren's drinking. I'm drinking at Halle's bar. No, couldn't resist. Cheers. Sweet. Cheers. Usually, like we do like a making a drink video and I told you that before we started. And then you start. I needed a drink. Like I'm getting sued. I need to make a drink too. I've had a long day of doing, like, nothing. I've had a long day of lawsuits, honestly. Me too. Did you have a long day? A very long day. What do you do? All in a day's work? Not much, to be honest. Do you like, crunch numbers all day? I don't really know. Crunch. What do I do? Do I crunch numbers? Like generally numbers? No, like, you're not. I know what you're seeing. How many orders are being placed? Those are numbers, I guess. Yes, but I'm not crunching them. I'm just looking at them coming. It's a figure of speech. I'm looking at them come in and being like, you're really not. And you are crunching your eyes, looking at the numbers coming in. It's a good day. A lot of numbers coming in. Goodness, you're crunching numbers. How was your day? How'd you spend your day? Did you go to Meadow Lane? No, I didn't go to Meadow Lane because it was like raining this morning. I was like, not going outside. This might be my first time outside today. I had a call with a new business potential. Business manager. I had a call with Shop My because my Shop My has been down for, like, a month and a half. I was explaining this to Marshall earlier. I was like, our days look so different. Yeah. Like, even though we do the same thing, our days look extremely different. Yeah. Like, really scary. Do you want to go into more depth? Yeah, I do. Specifically the morning. Well, I don't have a morning. Right. Yeah. Like, my morning actually. Been waking up really early all week. I had to record three of these. You know, you've been grinding this, like, really early. For me, it's like eight. Oh, I've been waking up at eight. Yeah. I've been waking up today because then I have to do my hair because then I feel like being on my camera. Right, Right. And then, like, do a full beat. Right. And then pick an outfit. But, like, I don't work out. I worked out yesterday. Soul Cycle. I heard. I. Sammy called me last night and he was like, yeah, Hallie wants me to start training her. It's like, okay, we'll see. Like, you don't think I can. He goes. There's no sense of urgency, though. Well, I was busy all week. Sammy. Side note, why isn't he coming to dinner with us tonight? You would. Like, we were doing, like, a girls night. Sammy can be Samantha for the night. He's coming to dinner on Friday. Oh, yeah, you're right. Oh, yeah, that'll be. It's Jordan's birthday. Right? Jordan, listen to me. If you want to start getting gifts for each other, we can start now. We can start now. Finish it. And the brittle isn't gonna cut it. The one. The toffee. Oh, that toffee is so good. No, it's really good. Throw it away. Because you could have just given it to me. I'm sorry. Honestly, like, I did you a favor. It's so. Remember, during Christmas, this conversation has to stop if you want to get married. Guys, Lauren has this problem where she can't hide a reaction at all. Like, I can't. Like, if someone scares her. Remember in the gas station and that guy came in? Yes. Lauren's facial expressions are not in his face, bro. Lauren, remember when we were walking on Canal Street? We were. Can I show it? I love this new scene. I love. Okay, okay. So we're on Canal Street. Canal. You don't have to do the math. Canal and Howard. Okay, okay. It's important. And all of the fake bags There was, like, a massive raid. The NYPD came through. I have a video. The nypd. And so I was facing the police, and Lauren was facing me. And I. And so this massive group of men. Massive men. Massive men with all these bags running at me, sprinting towards me. And I go, lauren, Lauren. And Lauren turns around and show what you did. I don't know where to go. No, you guys, I tried to go, wait, I went like this. And then I went this way. And I was like, there's just a. You were circling around me. You actually went towards the men at work. And then I went like this and saw the men. And then. She has no survival instincts. There was a street car. I go, what would you do if you were getting robbed? Like, if someone was like this? I don't know. I literally look at you and I go, lauren, this way. Lauren, this way. I ran into circle. Oh, my God, it was. Touched my chest. Why was I, like, galloping? You were, like, doing, like, the Irish jig. Irish jig. Irish and Irish j. I ran in a circle. I got nowhere. I. I ended where I started. It was probably the funniest memory I have of Lauren and her face. The whole time, she's like this. Like, it was just beyond. Like, it was beyond words. You have no survival. I don't. What do you think I would do if someone was trying to rob me? You would probably punch them in the face. I would beat their. She'd go like this. Guys, we were at a restaurant and Halle. We were at Crane Club. No. And Halle was meeting us. Like she had, like, something before having a stimulus. So we were at dinner. A vocal stim. Oh, got it. And Hallie walks in and we're like, oh, Hallie's here. And from across the packed room, she goes like this. Like, we were like, hi, Hallie. She goes, g'. Day. Packed restaurant. I think Barack Obama was there. Notable people. Notable people and all these sorts of things. I think I went grata. Winnie Harlow or some shit. I didn't mean to. Literally, Barack Obama. No. Anyway, it was so funny. I don't know why I didn't wait. Were you there at the gas station now? Sorry, this just brought me back. We were in. Where were we? We're skiing. No, we were skiing. This was. This was. No, wait. Oh, before Olivia. I remember where we were at house. And we drove, like, 30 minutes out to go get coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Yes, yes. And so this big burly guy in, with, like, a big beard and he has earrings and he's like, really big, I guess big. Really big and scary. Lauren's like, for no reason, like looking at him like. I was like scared. I was like. But he didn't like say anything or you were just being big. He was just. He looked like a scary man. He was just shopping. He's probably. He looked like a serious. I watch a lot of Criminal Minds. Yeah, no, I get that. I. The other day I was actually. You never know. I was walking on the street and a man was just walking towards me and I literally like, like I jumped. I was like, I need to call Uber. I literally like calmed down to Criminal Minds. Yeah. You're not. I don't know. Let's talk about that. Everyone might be a killer. What do you watch when you go to bed? I watch Real Housewives because women yelling calms me down. Yeah. Right now I'm watching Love Story. I've rewatched it twice. Like I'm obsessed with it. But I actually just restarted Friends again, probably for the fifth time. It's just my comfort show. I'm never actually watching tv. I'm never truly watching tv. Right. I'm just. Listen to the background. I'm. I'm toast. I'm like locked in all day. Yeah, you're locked to the murder. See, I can't watch Friends since Matthew Perry died. I know. I like can it like makes me like emo. But like, you guys know what I watch. I feel like I'm honoring him by giving it more. Strange. I feel like Friends in that. It's like an easy show to like not. It's white noise. It's. It's like a noise show. Yeah, it's easy shows. You have to like pay attention. It's easy to follow. I hate that cuz I always turn it on around you and H's like, really? What was that show you put on the other night? That jank ass show me like, like we're sick to ourselves. I know, I know. The movie. The movie. So good. I kind of liked it. It was like, what's it called? Blink Blink Twice. Blink Twice echo in and out. So good. I like would watch the whole movie. I think you would love it. I think I was getting anxious cuz H kept saying this is making me really anxious. And I was like, you know what? Same. It's like. Yeah, it's very. It's very deep and like you have to think it's like a psychological thriller. I am swimming upstream. Friends. I think it's giving Diet Coke. Have we talked about that? I don't know, should we. I think we have. I think now it's just, like, a joke. You're. Oh, I copied Lip today. I think we talked about it on the couch. Our mind. Is anyone ever copying me? Yeah. When? I don't know. When I get that shirt, I think we're all reverberating off of each other at all times. At all times. But, like, when it comes to drink orders or evening activities. Well, yes, I. I lived a couple times. Lauren's never drinking. Hallie's usually drinking, like, with love, all the time. Always with love. And I am like the swinging pendulum in the middle. And, like, it's. It depends what's going to sway me. Like, sometimes I'm just, like, go by Lauren's vibe, and sometimes I'm going by Holly's vibe. You've been going more by Holly's vibe recently. Yeah. Like, it's funny. That's where it's gonna get in her head. No, it's not. It's like, gross out. And I want a drink. You know what? And so does Lauren. Look at her. She's guzzling that down. Like, the gum, Gus. I don't know why I put the entire lime in my drink. You gave up. Literally couldn't save me a quarter of the life. Do you want some? No. Oh, my God. No. It's okay. Should we do an outfit check before we go? We also. Before we do an outfit check, are you guys seeing all this? Like, speaking of love story, all the copying of, like, RFK and Carolyn Bassett? Are we really bad? It's really Tears Beyond. I'm seeing a lot of influencers do it, and I'm like, it's really bad. It's really. It's really bad. It's. You know what I was thinking about this morning? I've been seeing a lot of those tik toks, like, in a world of Carolyn Bessette, like, be, Dude. Carolyn Bessette, like, be whatever. And she's gonna love this. But I was literally thinking, like, in a world of Carolyn Bassette, like, be. Be a Stacy Bendette. Do you know what? I love that I kind of. And I. I was gonna text her, and I was like, you have to do this because it's so, like, over the. She needs to. It's, like, so over the top. Maximalist queen. Maximalist is like. Because, like, Carolyn Bassett is, like, taking over everyone style. Like, somebody. Everyone needs to go be, like, a maximalist. But you know what? I'm noticing people are thinking that Carolyn Buset was, like, this. This, like, Very. I think she was very. A corporate baddie. But, like, I think they think she's, like, very wholesome and, like, buttoned up. I think she was, like, kind of, like, ripped it. She had liked it. And, like, she would definitely be at the afters. Did you guys see, like, one of two interviews of her? And it's her and JFK Jr. And the. And the reporter or whoever's asking the question is, like, what do you think of all this? Is. I don't know the exact quote. What do you think of, like, all the. There's going to be some gorgeous men in there. And she's like, oh, I hope they're all sitting next to me. Like, she was funny. She had some grit, I feel like. Also, I think she was discovered at a Calvin Klein in a mall, wherever she grew up. Like, she didn't. She's not, like, some, like, overly privileged girl who was just, like, thrown into fashion. Like, she was, like, a hard worker. I believe you see the guy she was hooking up with before. Yes. The model. Like, in the show. Yeah, yeah. People that actually do dress like her are now, like. But no, just the guys. There are people that I know have that style to wear my L pants right now. Because you, like. You know what I mean? Everyone. Yeah, I don't want to wear my turtleneck. But also the guys with the backwards hat thingy. No. You seen the guys do it. It's worth. It's really bad. It's really bad. Like, British hats. The British. Yeah. And also, we're sounding like huge haters right now. Like, I don't think so. Honestly, I think, like, everyone's looking great in their business casual. I don't think everyone looks great. Yeah, I think it's very forced and, like, trying to be nice. It's really annoying. Like, I wore a button down the other day. I was like, yeah. Okay, let's do an alpha check. Now that we're talking about our outfits, are we standing up? Yeah, stand up. Oh, are those Dior? Don't mind if I do. We're kind of wearing all giving the same boat. Where do I stand? Can you see my outfit? Yeah, we're all giving business casual. Okay. I'm wearing these vintage Diors slingbacks that I got, like, years ago, and I just found them yesterday, and I was cleaning out my closet. These pants, I think these are. Zara, I don't really know. Okay. Zara, I don't know. They're old. These are old pants. I'm wearing a cuckoo Cuckoo. That's What? I used to call me vagina when I was a kid. And just a cropped little trench and my little ro bag. Baby, this ain't no Amazon, okay? I love her real bad. And yeah, I wish we could add like. Like an applause, like, but like the fa. The ad lib applause. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Halle, hit it. Oh, yeah. Look how dry my ankle is. See my heels making me, like, look like a stone. Oh, my God. You're, like, flaking. Oh, my God. Did you please camera catch the flake? I have some poisoning. And you should be more sensitive to my condition. Got it. You should be more sensitive to my condition. Right. Anyways, my best friends got them for me. These are jpg, which stands for Jean Paul Gaultier. Jean Paul, this is Alexander wang. This is Dr. Anna, Steve Diamonds, George Roli. Our favorite thing to do is get Halle's shoes for her birthday because she wears them into the ground like they mold to her foot. My veins are in print. Okay, that's. That's insane. March is the month where everyone is out of reset mode and ready to actually make moves. It's when resolutions either fade or turn into results. And for entrepreneurs, March is the momentum season. The year just started. If you got started with Shopify today, just imagine how much your business could grow by the end of the year. Whether you're prepping for spring drops, leveling up your marketing, or tightening operations, Shopify helps you go from idea to execution to growth without losing speed in. Shopify's AI tools are an absolute game changer. You literally get your own AI assistant helping you with everything. Editing images, writing content, generating reports, breaking down complex data, giving you ideas. It's like having a genius co founder who never sleeps. 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You guys know I'm a huge advocate for getting yours. Whether that's a solo session or a spice up with your partner, every woman deserves that dedicated self care time. There's nothing better than a long shower at the end of the day and being able to take this in there with me as a total game changer. Go to womanizer.com and use Extra Dirty for 20 off site wide. That's W O M A N-I Z-R.com and code Extra dirty. Here we go. Wrangly top. Some bra. Thank you. Very nice. And then these pants that I got that I'm obsessed with from this brand called era. Oh, and my Alexander Wayne. You've had those forever. I've had them forever. And I have three other pairs of the same boot of the same boots. It is. But they are the best boots I've ever had and they like are just absolutely mangled. Yeah, those are nice boots but they're the best. They're like the perfect height and I like how long the toe is. It's like in with all my baggy pants. Yeah, you can still see the tail. Yeah. And they were on sale so I bought like three more pairs and they're all at my mom's house. It's me with my loafers. But I think it's like really time to bring out the new pair. I think so. Like this is crazy. Maybe just wait until next year. You wish it didn't say Alexander Wang on the top. No, I actually kind of like it. I feel like cuz I feel like when it's on the ground you really can't. Shiny. It's like a buckle. Yeah. Like you really can't tell. Wait until fall. Yeah, at this point that's true. Like these shoes. I've seen everything. They were even left at hallelujah. There's no more boot. You know I will be wearing my shearling lined boots on impact. Yeah, I used to do that. That was really a time. All right, enough about that. Okay. Yep. All right. The next segment is you guys just roasting me the whole time. I'm not doing that. No, no. But like not in a bad way. Like a man. You didn't think I should have given the time of day like that. Oh, the not like six string footballer who made you go in a blizzard and take a Uber over a mountain down a valley up another mountain all the way to him just for him to, like, be such a douchebag. And then also his friend, like, remember his ogre friend in my apartment? Shrek. When you put the Shrek, the star on top of your. Wearing his outdoor coat on my white couch. Yeah. He's like, come here. Come here. I'm like, you need to leave. Like, I am not your Fiona. I am not. I will tranquilize you, but on your way out, put the star in my tree. I don't know how we got here, but, like, that. That. That's a good answer. Yeah. What would you say? Probably the one from Miami that. Not the. Not the recent one. That one was crazy, too. But the older one from back in 2020 that you used to spend, like, $250 on an Uber to go see. And he would also make you pay for the hotel room. He was rich. I think maybe, like, now. I think he's doing well. But he used to make Halle pay for the hotel room. He used to walk me like a dog. But he's since apologized. He has since apologized. But Ali would get into raging fights with me about it because I was like. She would, like, leave me for a. Like, that was the only time you've ever left me for a guy. Yeah. At a table with, like, 12 guys. No. Yeah. At Costa Tua. I go, you all. I'm going up to and getting. She goes down the escalator like this. I go down. Accidentally goes into the garage, so she has to come right back up the escalator, and I see her, and I'm like, oh, you. The only guy she's left me for is the guy I just told you about. And it was the exact night I'm talking about. She left me and little sister in the dungeon alone with that man. He was hot, though, but he was balding. The one I was left with was. I'm shocked. Those are the two that you guys chose? I would. I thought you were. There's. So I chose this one. There's a minute. Honestly, every guy. Every guy that you've ever. But there's some that I can't even take serious. The. That one. I took him serious for a second. I was like, oh, she actually really likes him. Who's been your favorite? Mine was Peter Pan because he took care of us. He was a hero, too. Yeah, he took care of us. Peter Pan. Oh. I have a favorite as a person, but I don't. It didn't work out. Who? Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. Love him, though. Love him as a person. Love him as a person. Love you so much love. We love him. We love you. Didn't work out though. But like, I don't think that one was on me. He's so nice. Or him. Yeah, he was like. He was like a night. He's a nice person. No, he was a good person. Yeah, he's a good person. We. We take him. Yeah, like him. I'm trying to think of who else has been really bad. They've all been bad. The one that didn't like the beds. The one. Oh my God, that one's crazy. This man. Can I see other action? But I don't think you take this one seriously. The other ones like you were actually taking seriously. And that's what like drove me me crazy. Oh yeah. I was like, this one you don't take seriously. Like you know what it is? Yeah, I. Bad taste. She did that. No, you just did. All right. What's a time that I justified someone's bad behavior? Sorry. Why are you guys laughing? Like every man. Every man we just talked about. Okay. I guess it's a follow up question, but honestly, you're good at like cutting people out once you're done with someone. It's not. Hallie's not like at dinner like crying about it three months later. She's like, who. Who are you? Who? Yeah. Oh, I forgot about them. Which is honestly great. No, Yeah. I don't. I'm not that way. You linger for like that a week. Literally a week. You linger for a week. Yeah. Oh, and the last one, the. The other one, I didn't know. Just random orange. Hated. I did not like him. He came to one dinner and I was like, you need a man. Like you need the, like a. Oh, this is when you were. You were. You were just landing back from road. Lauren goes like this. And he joined like you were like, literally. Yeah. That was the night. Yeah. Thought you were coming. I was like, why didn't you guys invite me? I was like, you told me you were landing at 12am like you could have expanded. And then you were like, I'm going to come. Oh yeah. I knew you weren't making it. Yeah. But he sat down with us for a minute. Bad vibes. It was like him, me, Halle. And the way that he was speaking to her was so. But like it was so uncomfortable. I don't remember he like in what way? He was like, like a, A six year old, like teasing another. Yeah. Like he was like, I. I couldn't tell if he was flirting or if he genuinely meant it, like, it was really weird. Oh, I don't like that. No, it was really uncomfortable. I just. When I picture your, like, final destination of a man, I pictured, like, a big, burly man who, like, is a guy from the gas station. Concerned. Let's get the security foot. Like, someone who's not concerned with what you're saying online, what you're doing, and, like, understands. It's like, you're. You're just funny and it's a business. Like, someone who's not, like, I can't believe. You're definitely not the guy that wants to sue me. Can I read the text? Can I read it? Yeah, you can read it. He's so insane. So also, like, the night that. This. That. Did we. Did you tell. Talk about the night that you met him? Yeah, you were. You were there, right? And he was so he. I left Halle for a minute. But you met him. Yeah, we were at Shea Margot main room. Halle was in the side room. I left her for five minutes. Right. She. I walk into the room to find her. She's, like, in this in depth conversation with him. I go back and they come out, they just met, and he was, like, gripping her neck and standing over her and making out with her. With Halle literally being like, no, no, no, no. Like, not right now. And we were in the middle of the restaurant. Like, we were literally in the middle of a conversation, and this man gripped her neck and started making out with her. He sounds like a predator. Yeah, you were. Like, my advice to this man is to just lay low for a little. Everyone, like, knows who he is. We all know. Yeah, I know all your friends and talk to, like, I didn't say his name or anything. And, like, apparently everything he's told me has been a lie. So, like, this is basically just a fictional story at this point. It's all fictional. And it literally would be best interest to lay low, maybe delete social media with all the fake followers. What's the next question? All right, the next question is the quickest. I've switched from liking to disliking someone. Wait, what? Say that again? The quickest. She's switched from liking to disliking Cracky. Oh, God. Definitely cracking. That was a brunch and a. And a wish. A wish and a brunch is. Cracky's our ex friend or your ex friend that I kind of tolerated for a few years. That's a good friend when she tolerates. Yeah, but, like, I liked her. Yeah, she switched up on me. Or three times. She switched up on you so quickly. And then I had to lay down the hammer at front. Yeah. To basically put it into perspective. Halle likes to. I'm not, like, a confrontational person. That's why I have my friend Hallie here. I love that. Who does it for me. And I'm very, like. People walk all over me. So Halle likes to, like, lay the hammer down. Yeah. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back here. What the did you say? And so we were at this brunch, and we found out that my friend was, like, talking about me, but, like, acting, like. Right. Was really. She was just, like, acting like my friend. And how. Like, she was just acting so normal towards me after we had just learned all this stuff. And. Yeah. Hallie was, like, kind of giving her the entire brunch. She was like, oh, it sounds like she's like, you are really nice to Lauren right now. Given the fact that you hate her. Yeah. Given the fact that you dislike her deeply. Given the fact that you said xyz. And she literally was. And me and H were like, yeah. And then I remember after brunch, we all went to a bar, and she was there, and she looks at me from across the bar, and she goes like this. Yeah. And I went like this. And I saw it. I went like this. And I go, what the are you doing? Oh, yeah, get the over here. And then she told me. I, like, tried to go give her a hug. Do you remember that? I tried to, like, go give her a hug and be, like, Going to be like, we're fine. I'm still trying to be her friend. Yeah. And she told me that I didn't have her back. Have her back against H, who was just having my back. Having my back. And I actually took. And in that moment, I was like, okay. And I never talked to her again. I think it was a highly confrontational moment. I think she was probably, like, flustered. Yeah. I feel bad. No, I don't feel bad. I'm just. I'm just saying, like, it was. It. The emotions were so high. I think she was just always, like. She was always so mean to me. Like, she would always, like, make fun of me. I remember this one time, she was like, what did you say to me? I don't know. But she was just, like, always mean. And in that moment, that was the moment that I needed to be like, okay, you're not my friend. And I. Yeah. And I actually cut her off and never talked to her again. Yeah. Yeah. I've never talked to her again. So hard. And I was so proud. And it was like the best thing I ever did. Like, lighter life was doing. Getting better. Life got really good after. Yeah. Dropping that dead weight. Dropping bad friends is, like, the best thing you can do. It's the best thing. It's amazing. It's truly just. We had big friend breakups very. At very similar times. Us. What was your big friend breakup? Remember? Mine was, like, two months before that. Yeah. And then we found each other. You actively met her? I just. I think it's really crazy to. To experience, like, other people's negative energy. Like, it actually affects your life a hundred. It's like a sponge. Yeah. It affects, like, what you. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Like, everything, everything. And then the second that you cut it off, like, it's like you can breathe again. Yeah. Platonic breakups can be sometimes a lot more difficult than romantic ones. I feel like they are. Yeah. I mean, unless you're, like, married. Because you're supposed to, like, trust the girlies, you know? Yeah. Like, they're not supposed to, like, put you in that spot. Yeah. But that hoe. Moving on to the next. Yeah. Negative friends are the worst. Like, you're always anxious about what you're gonna say. Like, yeah, kill them. Kill them all. Kill them all. Sally, what is most repetitive and or embarrassing thing I say every single time after I have too many drinks? Fuck a duck in the. What did you say? Fuck a duck in a semi truck. That is true. I can't say what you say when you're drunk repetitively. What does she do? Oh. Or you'll just, like, kind of stim. But, like, really funny. Like. Like. Like we enter this realm when we reach a certain point and, like, three drinks in. Where we're just talking completely complete nonsense. Like, how would you say, let's go to the grocery store in our favorite sim. You know, and that's all it is. Or remember the first time you did it. Lauren goes, no, I literally sounded like a fugly. I was like, wait, how do I do it? Yeah, I can't do it. I can't do it. So you basically just say the first letter of each word. What am I saying? I just said I want to be able to understand what the other is saying. I don't. What? Link, you're not even saying anything. I can't believe you do that to me. Oh. What? Do what? Why is that your drink? I don't understand her languages. I'm kind of drunk. I don't know mine too. I feel like I get messy in here. Oh, joy. Another day, another bus delayed. Look on the bright side, you can finally catch up on podcasts. You don't mind running late. What's your deal? What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation Fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data. Only $25. I'm going to Metro when we hop off. Get that more for your money feeling. Only a Metro by T Mobile. Just bring your number. $30 first month and $25 after with autopay price guarantee. Exceptions apply. See site for details. The wrongs you must right. The fights we must win. The future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are marines. We were made for this. A trait I say is an ick for me, but I go for guys with that trade all the time. Poor. Wait, what? I'm sick. Lauren speaking the truth tonight. Wait, wait, wait. I think I got the a trait. She always says she hates, but she always goes for whore kind of help. It's half and half I'm giving back to the community. What do you mean? It's a write off. We've talked about this. It's a write off. It's right up. But also like I was gonna say, maybe an influencer. That. Okay, that one too. A struggling influencer. Same thing. Content creator. Oh my God. Yeah. What else do I say is a nick? Like good style. But I feel like the guy goes for a guy with bad style. No, I'm saying that's like an ick of yours, but like good style. No, I'm saying ick of hers is bad style. Bad style. Okay. And I feel like you can see me with bad style. No, no, I feel like the guys you go for, like usually have pretty good style. Except for the one that's scared of beds. He dresses like a struggling father. He dresses like he's like in the 90s. Like he just does like I'm in this. That's a 70s show. Perfect example. Yeah, he dressed like a themed party when he met him. He dresses no Ali in his wardrobe. 40 year old virgin. It was a themed party. Oh my God. He literally dresses like 40 year old virgin. Steve Crow. Yeah. With the New Balances before Ryan Gosling comes in and saves the day. Obviously the story of the night. You were generally scared for my life. I know. There's so many. Or the drunkest. There was one night when. So Hal usually wakes up really early, really early. And also she doesn't sleep through the night. Like she wakes up every like couple hours. You know that because I can see your phone. We can see your activity. We just know. And we've almost been in hotel rooms with you. Like, yeah, like, I know how you sleep, girl. We're best friends. I know you're sleeping. Okay. You do not know. We know. So there was one night that we went to bed like pretty early. I. Halle wasn't feeling good that night. We were all together. It was when we went to Grace OMalley's comedy show. It was that night. Yes. Halle wasn't feeling well. We went home early. Everyone went to bed. We like had like one drink. It was like fine. And it was nearing 11am the next day and Halle still hadn't not only not texted me, but her TikTok and Instagram both said active yesterday. So I was like, oh, she's not even scrolling. And I was texting Lauren and I'm like, it sounds psycho. But like, no. I was like, do you think Hallie's okay? Like she's in Lauren's like, oh, this is really weird. I'm calling my boyfriend. I'm like, hey, do you think this is weird? He's like, you did better safe than sorry. Like, go over there. I'm like, well, I'm gonna just show up at her door. She's gonna be like, what the are you doing? She'd be like more mad that we woke her up. I was genuinely about to leave my apartment and just go like, walk towards Hallie's. And she woke up. I kept pushing, but it was like 11:30. But Lauren was at work so I was gonna be the one to have. Have to go like, show up at the door. I'll show. I'm like, hey, hey, how you doing? I sleep till like three sometimes. And you woke up and you were like, what now? Yes. You're like, what do you want now? Like, it's. We're advanced. Well, cuz you do you. You host afters five days a week. So you're up. You don't really sleep. You go to bed at like 9 now. So waking up at 3 is literally am normal. Okay. What is the most ridiculous thing I purchased the Aspen. What's it called? Cotton swab. The poncho. The poncho. Trying to name something. But I will say that was partially our fault. Yeah, we were like, we were like, yeah, do it. No, we weren't. I actually think. No, I was. I didn't like it. I don't think. Did we not. I don't remember. I was really high on. You just kept asking. You were like, let's just do one more. One more store. One more store. I need one more thing before I go. Before I go live on. What's another thing. Maybe like those, like, gray extensions that you put in your hair that one time. Here we go. Halle got these great extensions. They were great. They were perfect. They were like. This is like, her first dabble in extensions. It was like a weft or weave. What's it called? Yeah, it was a weft. A weft. Perfect. It was like, right here. Nice. She goes, I'm going back for longer, more, thicker. I was like, maybe don't do that. When you say don't do something, it's like a little kid, like, don't. Oh, my God, she's doing it. Halle is that. If you say, don't do it, she's going to do it. Don't jump. Don't jump off a bridge. She's like, I'm doing it. I have to bridge near me. Like. Like, that is just who she is. I've learned now to just be like, you should do it. And I don't want her. When I think she shouldn't do something now I'm just like, do it. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. She kind of got filler, and I was like, I'm dancing, taking it all out. Yeah. I was like, don't do it. She takes it out. I. She comes back from this hair salon. Like, the hair is this thick. It's down to here. Like a horse tail. Yeah. And it's gray. No, they toned it, so. And then she literally picture you freaked out. You took it out, and now it hangs on your door. In Nantucket. You had a hair mishap when we first met. I remember. And you were like, what do I do? And I was like, I actually don't know. I don't. It was like earlier that this was even worse. The last mishap I had was when I was in Scottdale and I hooked up with. Oh, one of the guys had bought one of my tits. Yeah. And it was one of those crazy nights. My hair was matted up. We must have hooked up after, like, going hot tub. So it goes, what? But it was mangled in bucks. I went to IGK after. They were like, I've never seen anything like this. It's like a code red. What's that movie where it's like, just go with it. When Jennifer Aniston's getting her hair done, she. He's like, oh, no, baby. Oh, no. And he's like, I'm gonna need this, I'm gonna need that. He's like, tanya, Lisa, grab the blah, blah, blah. Oh, like at the hair salon. Yeah, yeah. Like, that was hallelujah. Everyone was looking at, like, coming to take a look and, like, what they could recommend. Yeah, babe, that's kind of embarrassing. For who? Like, sitting in the chair. Everyone's just like, wow, look at that. Like, I'd be like, whoa. I even got. I even got a text and they were like, your friend's hair was so bad. Yeah. One of the owners texted. Lauren was like, I've never seen anything like this. They're like, how did this happen? I, like, was. I think I had, like, hickeys all over my neck. Oh, God, my hair was up. Oh, God. I, like, literally came fresh off the plane from Scotland. Oh, my God, this sounds like my worst nightmare. Yeah, it was tears. You're a soldier. I was. Anyways, the most out of touch thing. I do glam. Glam for sure. Three times a week. Hey, I blame glam and hair society. They tell me to get glam. I get glam, bro. Yeah. I don't seek out glam. I know, but why don't you just say, like, no? Like you're good at doing your makeup. You know what I'm also really bad at doing. Say no. Yeah, saying no. We can work on that. We'll practice it. I practice in the mirror every morning. I'm like, no, no, no. Not. Can't get it out. No, no. Yes. Fine. You know what she cost? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, send her over. Yeah, she's already here. Already paid her. Yeah, Put her on retainer while you're at it. Like, that's literally you trying to say no. It's up. That was funny. I was drinking Mount Gay the night that I lost my virginity. Really? Yeah, it's hot. I never knew port thing. Like, everyone in Newport, like, only drank Mount Gay. I only knew it once I got to him and this guy got me, like, so it was so scary. I remember losing my virginity. I was like, lord, get me out of this situation right now was terrible. Yeah. I had nightmares about it. Like, the moonlight was shining in my face and this mattress on the floor in this random house in Newport. I was like, I don't like this. It sounds romantic. I, like, freaked out when I lost my virginity and Then I didn't have sex again for like three years. Oh, I loved it. And I broke up. I broke up with my boyfriend cuz I was so scared of it. A yeah. Look at you now. Probably the same. What does that mean? Look at you now, sexually active. Sexually active young lady. Look at you now. Engaged. Come dumpster. Look at you now. You've come so far. Look at you now, you fucking whore. Look at you now. You fucking who? No, I mean, you're getting married. You're having sex frequently. You just took a pregnancy test last week. Oh, Halle. I was worried my boobs were big. My boobs got so big. It's not normal. You have an iud. Well, you never know. I thought, he's gonna come out like this. We were doing okay. Here's genuinely why I thought I could be pregnant. We did reverse cowgirl painful. And I was like, I hate it in my mind. In my mind I was like, why did he want to do reverse cowgirl? Because that. I literally did that last week and it hurts my vagina. Yeah. Why? It goes the opposite way. Oh, the angles. It doesn't go. I also feel like it bends the wrong way. Your man has to have a piece that bends easily to do reverse cowboy. A very flexible penis. Yeah, I don't have that. So it ripped and it was awful. Why does your vagina keep ripping when you have sex? Like, actually, I feel like that's like. I think it's because my boyfriend is a really big person. He's well endowed below. But like, I feel like I've had. But I don't know, I feel like I've had sex with. I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me. Here's what it is. You hear what she was going to say? No, Lauren, I've had sex with massive cocks. No, listen to me. This is what it is. We're. I don't see. Okay, that's true. So when I see him, we're like, jackrabbit. Like, it's all day. That's true. And that's not like what's supposed to be happening. Like, yeah, you're not supposed to have sex that frequently in like a short amount. Okay, that's true. Seven days together. And we're like, okay, that's true. So. So it doesn't rip like, the first time. What does, like, rip entail? They're just a little rip happens on the inside between, like, your vagina, Your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Like towards the back. Have you never gotten that? It hurts like when I pee it's like. Like, it's really painful. It's like a cut. It's like a paper cut. That sounds. But like, on your vagina. Yeah. Wait, in the back. Yeah. Not in the front. That would be even worse. That would be wild. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, that would be tears. I feel like that means you're gonna have that once you have kids. You're definitely gonna rip one of my friend's sisters. It happened to her. But it's a scale of 4. 4 meaning full tear straight to the ass. Full tear? Yeah. There's 1, 2, 3, 4. I mean, that might be me. We'll see. That would make everything down there a lot easier now. I'm so scary. Yeah. But I. I have oils. We use oils and things of that nature. Make sure they're silicone. B. Water based. Yeah. Not really. They're like sex oils. I know, but you can have water based or silicone based, and you want to have water. You want water because it's natural silicone. It will give you UTI or yeast infection. Okay, well, I haven't got either, so I'm guessing I. We use water. Well, back to this. We were doing reverse cowgirl, and that was, like, in my mind, not supposed to be. That your idea? No, never. Why would that be my idea? Is it usually your idea? No one's asking me to do reverse cowgirl, I can tell you that much. They're like, let's do everything. But Holly. No. But I was like, in my mind, I was like, that's the cuz. I feel like the IUD just wouldn't. I don't know. I was like, what if it just went the wrong way? Oh, got it. Do you know what I mean? Yes. That is the one position where I'd be like. So that's not like, like, critical thinking, but, like. I know what you mean. Yes. It's obviously. It's fine. But because my boobs are big and because we did that, I'm like, that's. And your stomach hurt. And my son. I was like, that's it. Do you guys want to know something? I'm not on birth control. Yeah. So when I'm ovulating, you, we use condoms. That's really. That's very safe practice of psych sex. I can't. I don't know how to speak. I'm like, can you put it on? He's like, sure. Such a good sport. Condoms are good. Yeah. We. We support condoms. Yeah. Over here, Magnum. That's very safe of you, but, like, you guys know me. Like if there's even a chance. No, I know that some. Like I would not be able to sleep at night. I'd be blowing up your phones like we need to go to the hospital. Like, no, I know I would go crazy if I even thought I could be pregnant. And also playing beast. Like in my opinion, not that great for you. Like remember that. I think I took it. I think it's time to up your hormones. I just think it's so. You don't know how that's going to reflect in the future. Well, I have growing a tail. I took so many of it when I was dating. Growing a tail. I took so much plan B like it was insane. And sometimes you'd venmo me for the plan B. Who would I? Oh, I know sometimes you'd better me for the plan B. And I would just like. I'll get it. Wait. Hotel boy. No porn on the tv. Porn on the same. Porn on the tv. Peter Pan. Porn on the ceiling. Peter. Yeah. Porn on the Sonos. Entire house listening to the porn at the same time. Everyone get ready. We're all having sex at the same time. Once we talked like three times one morning. And like once we were like going to get like coffee or like pure Vita or something and he like shower or whatever and we all got in the car and it connects to Bluetooth and porn starts playing. I go, we just had sex. Like that's really bad. Three or four times. Why are you masturbating again? Do you remember when we went. He's insane. Oh, joy. Another day, another buzz delayed. Look on the bright side. You can finally catch up on podcasts. You don't mind running late. What's your deal? What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one online, 5G for just 25amonth. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data. Only $25. I'm going to Metro. When we hop off. Get that more for your money feeling only a Metro by T Mobile. Just bring your number. 31st month and 25 after with autopay price guarantee exceptions apply CSI for details. The wrongs we must write, the fights we must win. The fight future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are marines. We were made for this. Us 3. We went to Aspen and Halle brought a guy back in our rooms like we shared a wall and we didn't hear anything. Me and Lauren were like. We were awake. We were like, oh, they're back. We were like, we hear them. I remember I heard him, like, walking up the stairs. What did he say? It was so dorky. We were like, what a nerd. Hallie was like, oh, yeah, they got bunks in there. We fully had, like, two. We were sleeping. And she goes, yeah, those two have bunks. Yeah. I put those two over there. Kelly's like, I have the California King, but those two were in bunks. Me and Liv, like, mid sleep. Both opened up. Both opened our eyes being like, we fuck this bitch. And then he was like, wow. He said something about the staircase. He was like, this is a cool staircase now. He was like, yeah. What did he say? I was like, this is funny. I don't remember tracing bunk bed. Yes, you did, Halle. Me and Lauren literally looked at each other like this. Bunks, bunk, me, bunk mate. Bunk mate. And then we, like, bring a guy home on that trip. It was gonna be me. Obviously, we're not upset with you for bringing the guy, so I loved it. It's like you guys had to share a room. No, it was funny. No, we're not, like, making. It was. It was funny that you were like these things. You were drunk, and you were just like, those two have bunk beds. Yeah, it was funny. We were fully, like, two. Me and Lauren are sleeping. Masks each other were like this. You hear that? Bunk me. I'm gonna get us necklaces that say, bunk me. And then it's like, the one thing we remember from the trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we all, like, sobbed on that California King together. It was so weird. It was out, too. It really my. Yeah, you guys love to remind me. Lauren saw Halle crying for the first time in years. Keep in mind, this was. I don't dry. I don't cry. I've seen her dry, like, three times in my life, and it's been like, this is after H. Reamed into my life. Okay? And I'm like, this. Like, she's crying. I'm like, feel better. Here's Lauren. You're like, I. Lauren's reaching for. This is. I'm Lauren. Lauren's me. This is H. Okay. I felt very deeply for her. I literally was like, you're going to be fine. Love you. I was like, we're having, like. We're having a breakthrough here. Like, don't break eye contact. I have a picture about it. Lauren's like, this never happens how he's crying. I was like, well, usually I'm the One crying. Well, I just cussed out live. So, yeah, I'm like, feel better, Holly. Love you. Bye. What is most out of my comfort zone thing you've ever seen me do? Something, like, outdoorsy or anything? Anytime. I'm, like, laying on the ocean. Laying on the ocean. Honestly, like, got it. No, no, no. I know what you mean. Okay, well, like, honestly, yes. Like, laying calmly after screaming at me. This is how I'm gonna feed my pants. I'm gonna be my pants. This is Holly after screaming at me for. For God knows why. H scream so different. You look so much better with your natural hair color. Like, I mean, the blonde was. But, like, this looks really good. So was that the first night? Wow. We got it. Kick it. Oh, my God. Howie made out with. I guess this podcast episode was crazy. Like the one we did after that trip. I know. I got so much hate because in the plane, everyone live as so mean to Lauren. I was like, you all need to touch immense amounts of grass. Live is so mean to Lauren. After it is Costo live. I literally. I was like, I can't catch a can Catch a what? Did you even, like, say that people thought you were mean to me? People were saying I was making faces. I just had botched Botox. Like, they probably still do. So this one time when we were. Sorry, shutting. I. You are shedding. We were at Coachella, and this is why seeing H lay just peacefully. It's a very rare sighting how you walked circles around a compound the entire day at Coachella. She just lapped. She did laps of the house that we were staying at. I didn't see her sit down one time. I'm over and anxious, and no one has any circles. Circles. So actually, seeing you, no one had a zanny. I found the picture, dude. It's better than I imagined it. Yo, are you good? I was just. I literally was like, we can't break eye contact with her or else she'll stop. Okay, this is our last segment we're gonna do. And then we're gonna go out and we're going to dinner. We're going to Orash. Shout out or ash. Shout out Eugene. Have you guys been there yet? Shout out, Eugene. Shout out so much. I went there yesterday actually. It was fucking fire. It's okay. What did you get? There was like, this everything bagel. You, like, dip the oil and, like. It's so good. It's so like, your vibe. Did you have that tuna? We're getting it. Yeah, we did get the tuna. It's a Little too fishy for me. And I'm. I have a weird sensitivity to fish right now. I don't know why. It was honestly, ridiculously good. Oh, my God. Guys, I'm not gonna be. Oh, no, no, we're getting. We're getting. No, we're getting it. It's insane. It's like. No, we're getting it. We're getting the fish. You know what? Wait, what else did we get? Did you have the ratatouille? You mean the. There was something with the caviar on top that was really, really yummy. I didn't have that. The steak was really good. The salmon was. I didn't have the steak. Let's do steak. Yeah, the steak was. What was the salmon like? It was, like, thin and, like, chopped up. Like, the steak. It was really good. It was probably the best. Okay, we're gonna get that. Okay. So the segment's called Listener Dating app Bios. Would you swipe left or swipe right? And these listeners have submitted, like, crazy responses they've gotten. Or their own bios. This girl's bio is ruin my life. Thoughts. Left. Wait, sorry. Swipe. No, I would swipe left. Left is no. Yeah, left is. No, right is the right. Like, I mean, it depends what I'm there for. If you're a man looking to get some. I just think ruin my life respectfully, is like, a little, like, juvenile. Like, you sound like you're in high school or. Yeah, a girl made that her dating bio. Yeah, in my life. And so as a guy, you're just asking to be a calm dumpster, in my opinion. Yeah, it's giving. Like, it's giving only fans crazy. Like, you're crazy. Like crazy. I know it's giving. She's. But, like, we need to respect ourselves. Women ruin my life. Why would you want a man to ruin your life? Ruin his life? Why would you give him that power? Yeah, I don't like that. Period. That's very. All right. This hinge prompt most irritable fear. Families that run turkey trots because. Out of my face. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. I like you. I would like you to co host my show. So what would you. So swipe right. Swipe right. Yeah. So I break. Wait, should we take a drink? Every time we swipe. Swipe right. We're at the bar. We're at the extra dirty bar. Swiping right. The Is in your drink. I finished mine. We're swiping right at the bar. All right. A guy sent me A prompt that said me, you, my stepsister, you in? Oh, no. What? Me, you, myself. It's like not funny. I would not be in. Have you ever seen stepsister porn, though? Sometimes it pops up. Sometimes it pops up after Halle searches it. Sometimes it pops up. If you ruin my life. Stepsister porn, ruin my life. Step sister porn. Come duster. My favorite segment that we've ever done was like, when we, like, described what Halle's search history was. Me and Halle used to fire off dms to like, from her account to like random people mood sit at zero Bond. I still do that. And we would write up the craziest dms. Like, I don't even know if I can say, like, I want your coffee. You were literally doing that to someone at Paros last week. Oh, we did it last week. There was a guy at the restaurant. We were at that like Halle went to college with. I think I have dinner with him tonight. What? You have dinner with us tonight, bitch. No, wait. Oh, my God. That's probably why you texted me today. Awkward. And we were sexting him at dinner and his ears were red. He was getting all red. Yeah, we would send crazy DMs. Halle would be like, let me know when you're home so I can schedule my hip replacement surgery. That was my favorite one. Yeah, that one's good. That was my favorite. Good. I just got really clever with it. I'm banned from Tinder because I made my bio looking for a sugar daddy once. Babe, you're on the wrong app. Wrong app. Seeking arrangements, babe. Know your audience, babe. These are really strange. I used to have a Seeking arrangements. I never used it, but I like, I try to use it once on my. Jack kicked me out. I got weirded out. It was a time to be alive. Your dad kicked you out of the house because I up his thirty thousand dollar carpet. Because I threw a party when they were gone. Oh, so that's why you went downloaded Seeking. I understand. So I download Seeking Ranch rooms. I understand. I thought he kicked you out because I need a new. I was like, well, remember when he texts me, he goes, why are you not on only? Why are you not on only fans? Oh, my God. You're like. I was like, dad, do you know what that is? He goes, money. Big money. Money. I'm like, all right, we're not doing that. A man having his occupation as a gynecologist parenthesis. He was a 20 year old frat boy. Ew. I hate. I hate that so much that guys are really weird. Actually and he definitely was like showing his buddies being like, bro, get a load of this, bro. I was so high last time. Look what I made my brother a gynecologist. Cuz I'm like a doctor in that. Like literally, like that reminds me of how he was pm. Yeah. She's marrying the pm. Yes. Have you. Never mind. What? Have you done that since? Yeah, you have. They do it all the time now he's munching his way through like the Holland Tunnel. Munching his way through my friend. Munching my way. What? It's honestly, you guys made me feel like there was something wrong. So I was like, I will figure this out until I like it. I am not down to shame anyone except for like dressing like CBK and making TikToks about it. But I'm not down to like shame anyone, especially sexually. But I will shame you time and time again for not letting your man go down on you because you're my friend and you're missing out. That's why I literally was like. That's why I was like, I will figure this out until I like it. Or just like me getting out of my head. They shut up. Yeah, they shut up. And they're just. You know, it's like dolphins and butterflies. You can text now it's good. No, now it's good. I just needed to like Holly. You would be doing that. Holly's scrolling. I definitely have before. That is for sure. Sometimes email I need to cater to a green flag I look for. It's not asking me why I've turned two phones. And then he wouldn't tell this girl his job. So he's a drug dealer. Next left. Worst I've seen. I'll pay first drink if you pay the second. I feel like that's Chad's. In Chad. I'll pay first drink if you pay the second. Chad's is I'll pay the first drink. And then it's like a blank. And it goes, if you venmo me. And I thought that was always really. That's funny. That was really funny. Your brother's profile is definitely like, I need to get Chad's dating profile. Really funny. Yeah. Oh, Chad has a dating profile. Wait, what? His is probably like really crazy. I was going to say literally gyo. Probably G. No. Like the one of the prompts is what is he on? Raya? No, hinge. Yeah. The next one is I you not. Some guy wrote that he. He was a really good drunk driver. No, that's not the vibes that's just. I don't even know what guy would think that's, like, fun. That's not funny. That's not funny. That's really up. Actually, it's really not. Okay. That's how you murder people. The last one is hinge Prompt is together. We could. And I answered. Are you in missionary? I mean, it's funny, but, like, I'm. No. Why are we saying this to strangers? I don't want to argue. I would love to argue. I want to talk about sex with strangers. Can you guys meet first? And then he's like, the Halle is the audience. She's like, I would love to argue. This is great. Hallie's like, that's sick. Yeah. Swipe right. Maybe meet first and then talk about sexual relations and fight. And then you can fight and then fight close enough that you have something to fight about. Guys, we have to go to dinner. But I appreciate part of the extra dirty bar. Thank you for having us. Part of the extra dirty bar? Like, I'm hammered. I should we take a bow? A bow? Bow about. Yeah. Yeah. Like. Yeah, like. Like, guys, this rum goes straight to my head. Wait, I think we should bow. I think I had a raging headache before. I've had two. Okay, first, you want to do the outro glasses. I'm good. What do I always say? Thank you so much for listening in. You can follow extra dirty in all platforms. YouTube, Spotify, Instagram. But now that we're behind the bar, I encourage you to watch on YouTube and tell all your friends about it. Guys, watch on YouTube. Like, this is a vlog Cast. We were very interactive with the set today. Watch me run away from men on Canal Street. Watch me talk into a microphone. Watch me go crossheaded. Several. I'm so drunk. Wait, I think we should bow. I do. Can we do it one more time? I do. One more time. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Pretend we leave. The audience is cheering, so we come back. No, everyone, look. Wait. They wanted on 20 seconds of looking at the crowd on court on tour. Okay? So now we hold hands again. Come on. Yeah. Love you, mom. It's really meaningful. Flowers are being thrown at us. It hit me in the face. Stop. Teddy bears. Okay. All right. We really did that. They say, if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Ameca Insurance, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Visit ameca.com and get a quote today. 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Date: March 26, 2026
Guests: Liv + Lauren
In this raucous, candid episode, Hallie Batchelder invites her closest friends Liv and Lauren to the “Extra Dirty Bar.” The trio serves up stories and roasts about their most questionable romantic choices, friendship breakups, dating disasters, and notorious nights out. The tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and wildly honest as they dissect their personalities, call out bad behavior (from men and themselves), and laugh about the chaos that cements their friendship.
"Guys, welcome back to the extra D bar. I have flipping Lauren here… What do you guys think?"
—Hallie (03:04)
“Lauren turns around… you actually went towards the men at work. And then I went like this and saw the men. And then. She has no survival instincts. You ran in a circle… It was probably the funniest memory I have of Lauren and her face.”
—Hallie (15:00)
“Everyone needs to go be, like, a maximalist… I’m noticing people are thinking that Carolyn Bessette was… very wholesome and buttoned up. I think she was, like, kind of, like, ripped it…”
—Hallie (22:05)
Friends roast Hallie’s history of chasing “sixth-string footballers,” the guy from Miami who made her pay for Uber and the hotel, and a host of other “forgettable” men.
Iconic quote about low bars and self-delusion:
“He used to walk me like a dog… but he’s since apologized.”
—Hallie (34:05)
Dissection of her favorite (dubbed “Peter Pan” for taking care of them), the “balding hot one,” and the “guy who didn’t like beds.”
“Given the fact that you hate her… given the fact that you said xyz…”
—Hallie (44:15)
“Dropping bad friends is, like, the best thing you can do.”
—Lauren (46:22)
“A trait I say is an ick for me, but I go for guys with that trait all the time. Poor. Wait, what?”
—Lauren (53:30)
“He literally dresses like 40-Year-Old Virgin. With New Balances before Ryan Gosling comes in and saves the day.”
—Lauren (55:10)
“When you say don't do something, it's like a little kid, like don't. Oh, my God, she's doing it.”
—Lauren (1:10:00)
"Why does your vagina keep ripping when you have sex?"
—Liv (1:19:00)
“Let me know when you’re home so I can schedule my hip replacement surgery.”
—Hallie (1:35:10)
“We all, like, sobbed on that California King together. It was so weird… this is after H. Reamed into my life."
—Liv (1:43:00)
“Wait, I think we should bow...pretend we leave...the audience is cheering. So we come back, encore!”
—Lauren (1:48:30)
This episode is a hyper-honest, hilarious, and deeply revealing portrait of the intimate chaos that forges lasting friendship bonds. For anyone who’s ever dated a dud or just needed a laugh at their own expense, Hallie, Liv, and Lauren prove that radical honesty and ride-or-die friends make all the difference.