The male perspective: why men aren't approaching women

Summary

Podcast Summary: Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Episode: The Male Perspective: Why Men Aren't Approaching Women
Release Date: August 7, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder, Hallie welcomes her younger brother Chad for a candid and heartfelt discussion about modern dating dynamics, specifically focusing on the perplexing trend of men hesitating to approach women. The episode delves into personal anecdotes, sibling dynamics, and broader societal changes affecting relationships and mental health.

---

Men’s Hesitation to Approach Women

Hallie initiates the conversation by addressing a prevalent observation: the decline in men approaching women in social settings like bars. She questions Chad on why this might be the case, both in general and in her specific context.

Chad attributes this hesitation to an "intimidation factor" and suggests that insecure men are less likely to make the first move, preferring instead to seek validation from women. He contrasts this with previous generations, noting a lack of chivalry and increased insecurity among modern men.

[12:47] Chad: "Men who are insecure won't approach women as much. They want to wait until a woman can validate them."

Hallie expands on this by highlighting the impact of social media, which fosters parasocial relationships and shifts societal dynamics. She emphasizes that women are now more empowered and standing on their own, which can be intimidating to some men.

[13:42] Chad: "The dynamic has changed in society. Women are standing on business."

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Upbringing and Its Impact on Relationships

The siblings reflect on their childhood, growing up in Boston rather than a suburban setting, which exposed them to diverse experiences early on. They discuss how their urban upbringing contributed to their risk-taking behaviors and early exposure to dating and alcohol.

Hallie shares a vivid memory of a toxic teenage relationship, illustrating the emotional turbulence of youth.

[03:20] Hallie: "I almost drop-kicked her once."

Chad recounts their rebellious teenage years, including getting kicked out of their house simultaneously and living in contrasting environments—Hallie at the luxurious White Elephant loft and Chad in an outdoor shower.

[06:23] Hallie: "We both got kicked out of our house at the same time."

This shared history underscores their strong sibling bond and mutual understanding, which later plays a crucial role in their current relationship and support system.

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Personal Anecdotes and Stories

Throughout the episode, Hallie and Chad share numerous personal stories that highlight their adventurous and sometimes chaotic lives:

• First High School Party: They describe an epic high school party that escalated into a neighborhood brawl involving rival schools, leading to police intervention.

  [10:31] Chad: "Cops were called because of the fight that broke out two blocks away."

• Drunken Escapades: Hallie narrates incidents involving ex-boyfriends who became excessively intoxicated, resulting in embarrassing and disruptive behavior, such as damaging personal property and causing confusion with their parents.

  [20:28] Hallie: "He thinks the vanity is a urinal and pisses all over her brand new makeup."

These stories not only provide entertainment but also illustrate the challenges and mishaps that come with their lifestyles.

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Mental Health and Vulnerability

A significant portion of the conversation centers on men's mental health and societal expectations. Both Hallie and Chad acknowledge the stigma surrounding vulnerability in men and the importance of seeking help.

Chad emphasizes the need for men to embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness, advocating for therapy as a positive step towards self-improvement.

[24:47] Hallie: "I think one of the biggest green flags a man could have is being a man in therapy."

Hallie echoes this sentiment, expressing her own intentions to seek therapy to better manage social anxiety and build genuine self-confidence without relying on alcohol.

[40:05] Hallie: "I want to feel like I don't need alcohol. Be my funniest and my social self."

This discussion highlights the importance of mental health awareness and the evolving understanding of masculinity in contemporary society.

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Sibling Dynamics and Support

The Q&A segment reveals the depth of Hallie and Chad’s sibling relationship. They discuss topics ranging from who was the most expensive child growing up to their favoritism and the roles they played within the family.

• Most Expensive Child: Both acknowledge that their family endeavored to provide for them, with Hallie mentioning expenditures on rehab and Chad on legal matters.

  [31:51] Hallie: "For me, it's like rehab. That shit wasn't free."

• Favorite Sibling: Chad praises Hallie for her authenticity and humor, while also expressing concern over her handling of self-worth.

  [56:27] Chad: "You're very funny. I've never met a girl as cool and funny as you."

• Sibling Conflicts: They reminisce about childhood fights and pranks, showcasing a blend of rivalry and camaraderie that strengthened their bond.

  [53:24] Hallie: "Time you chased me down the street with the football bat?"

These interactions illustrate a supportive yet dynamic sibling relationship, where both challenge and uplift each other.

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Insights on Modern Relationships

Towards the end of the episode, Hallie and Chad offer insights and advice based on their experiences:

• Authenticity in Dating: They stress the importance of being genuine rather than adopting personas to attract partners.

  [26:45] Chad: "Don't act out of character. Be yourself."

• Handling Rejection: Both acknowledge the fear of rejection but advocate for resilience and personal growth through such experiences.

  [28:22] Chad: "If it doesn't bother you three days later, then it's not."

• Balancing Professional and Personal Life: The siblings discuss the challenges of pursuing careers while maintaining mental well-being and personal relationships.

  [60:24] Hallie: "I'm hosting that crew until I was 25. I didn't figure it out until later."

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Conclusions

This episode of Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder offers an intimate glimpse into the complexities of modern dating, mental health, and sibling relationships. Through honest conversations and shared memories, Hallie and Chad provide valuable perspectives on why men might be hesitant to approach women today, the impact of their upbringing, and the importance of authenticity and mental health in personal growth.

Their dialogue not only entertains but also serves as a relatable narrative for listeners navigating similar challenges in their own lives.

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Notable Quotes

• Chad on Men's Hesitation:

  "Men who are insecure won't approach women as much. They want to wait until a woman can validate them."
  [12:47]

• Hallie on Therapy as a Strength:

  "I think one of the biggest green flags a man could have is being a man in therapy."
  [24:47]

• Chad on Authenticity:

  "Don't act out of character. Be yourself."
  [26:45]

• Hallie on Self-Worth:

  "I could be standing on business."
  [56:52]

• Chad on Respect:

  "Men battle with more than what is."
  [23:56]

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Final Thoughts

Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder continues to break barriers by fostering open and honest conversations about topics often deemed too sensitive or taboo. This episode stands out as a testament to the power of familial support and the necessity of addressing mental health and authenticity in today's fast-paced and often superficial social landscape.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences and consider the importance of genuine connections and self-acceptance in their personal lives.

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Stay Connected:
For more engaging content and personal stories, follow Hallie Batchelder on YouTube, Spotify, and other major podcast platforms. Don’t forget to subscribe, comment, and share your thoughts!

Transcript

[Chad]

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[Hallie]

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[Chad]

Ooze. Have you ever thought about that?

[Hallie]

Going sober?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Are you sober? Curious.

[Chad]

I'm very sober. Curious? No.

[Hallie]

What up, you little freaks? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys. I had every intention of staying in last night. All right, guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. I'm having Chad on again, my younger brother. If you haven't listened to last week's episode with Chad, make sure you give that a listen before this one. So super funny. He is a gem. I'm honestly shocked how good that episode went. But we're doing like a little bit of a Q A, just like having fun with it. Like I just, you never know the that's going to come out of his mouth. The stories that like, just like I get reminded of by some of these questions. Your guys's questions have been so funny. So let's just start off that episode and have fun with it. Love you guys. Okay, next I'm going to ask Chad some like lore based questions just like for people to get the full picture.

[Chad]

Let's rock.

[Hallie]

Okay, I'll start. Who was your first girlfriend?

[Chad]

I'd say like my first real girlfriend was when I was 18. Like it was like one of those summer things out on Nantucket that you know, like when you. I'm the type of person where like I can't like put feelings to the side and sometimes I'm blinded by my own self. So, like, at the time, I was a young kid.

[Hallie]

And you guys felt like Romeo and Julia.

[Chad]

Yeah, I knew this girl. Well, this girl, like, showed that, you know, she really liked me. And, like, I was, like, intrigued, you know? And so I think it just, like, obviously ended up being a very young, toxic relationship.

[Hallie]

I don't think you're the first person to get into a toxic situation not being able to see, like, the outside perspective. I feel like that's a very normal thing to do. But, like, looking back, you know, hindsight's 20 20. I feel like you could probably agree that that was whack.

[Chad]

Oh, no, that was od.

[Hallie]

I, like, almost. I, like, almost drop kicked her once.

[Chad]

No, you. You choked her out at the bar.

[Hallie]

Like a light choke. It was a suggestion.

[Chad]

Like, she. She was asking for it.

[Hallie]

She was taunting me.

[Chad]

Yeah, she was taunting you. And, like, you had the green light.

[Hallie]

You guys were broken up. And she sat down at our table outside of Gaslight, like, what are you doing sitting here? Like, we're all just trying to have a good night. We're trying to get along. And, like, could you get up? She's like, you have two legs. Why don't you get up and use them?

[Chad]

Don't say that.

[Hallie]

I saw Red stood up from my table, like Poseidon or the Hulk or something. I swear I lifted her. I levitated her.

[Chad]

Yeah, it was warranted.

[Hallie]

Like, it was war. She was being super sketch.

[Chad]

No. Yeah, and whatever. It was just a shitty situation.

[Hallie]

Whatever. We're all young.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Okay, next question. What was the most trouble you got into growing up?

[Chad]

Oh, no, honestly, like, I got in a lot of trouble with that relationship. Like, and just, like, sneaking around, like, when no one wanted us to see each other and, like, sneaking around and, like.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I remember it was that summer, you know, when we both got kicked out of the Nantucket house.

[Chad]

Yeah, we both. That was. That's funny. We both got kicked out of our house at the same time. H got a room at the White Elephant, so no way. She might have up. She might have upgraded.

[Hallie]

But us getting kicked out, it looks so differently for the both of us. Like, so let me tell the full story. Like, I had a bunch of people over in the basement. They're, like, ripping it, and I think I was, like, doing something salacious with one of the guys there, and mom came down thinking it was your ex girlfriend. She comes storming into the room. What the. Like, what's going on? I'm naked and I put a blanket around Me. And I go. And she walked in on what's her face hooking up with this guy. Mom walks in thinking it's you and your ex girlfriend. And she's like, what the. What the. She walks into the bunk room and it's me and a guy. And like people are like, you know, whatever. And I put the blanket on. I go, mom, you're hallucinating. I convinced I was gaslighting the fuck out of her. I was like, you're hallucinating right now. Like I don't know what's gone into you. Like you may be entering a psychosis.

[Chad]

Menopause.

[Hallie]

I don't know what's happening here. As I'm like naked, like with a blanket on.

[Chad]

I was like, mom, you're tripping.

[Hallie]

You're really being weird right now. Like this is like a really weird look.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And I think you should take a sip of water and like.

[Chad]

You'Re like in bed with a guy.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I was like, mom, you're being really. Then she went outside and you and what's her face are at the clubhouse.

[Chad]

In our little Nantucket community trying to sneak around.

[Hallie]

Trying to sneak around.

[Chad]

She comes in hot, man.

[Hallie]

She comes in hot.

[Chad]

You're a tramp. Like to the girl, she's like 17 years old.

[Hallie]

Yeah. She goes, you're a worthless tramp.

[Chad]

I was like, damn, mom.

[Hallie]

But I was like low key. Like co signing. All of it.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

But then we both got kicked out.

[Chad]

Yeah. And you, you went to the nicest hotel on Nantucket and you were like sleeping out. I was sleeping like in our neighbors like outdoor shower.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And I was like at the White Elephant loft and resort. And I was like, you dad, I found better.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

They used to get so mad at us.

[Chad]

I was like, sorry though. It's funny.

[Hallie]

That was a good story. Okay. When did you have your first drink of alcohol?

[Chad]

I actually remember it so clearly was probably 12. And you were like 14. And we were all like in n shop hanging around and like someone had like a little plastic bottle of like Bacardi. I always wanted to do like what you were doing. You know what I mean? And that's why I feel like I started like the whole like partying thing so early. Cuz I was.

[Hallie]

You're blaming me now?

[Chad]

Like. Yeah, no, no, no. I just like always like wanted to be around like you and your squad. And so like you guys were just like a years ahead of my time.

[Hallie]

I mean like.

[Chad]

And I was afraid.

[Hallie]

I was like cool in high school.

[Chad]

Oh, you were the.

[Hallie]

And I had, like, a cool boyfriend.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like, And I had, like, who's. Like, he's weird now, but, like, in.

[Chad]

In high school.

[Hallie]

In high school, he was, like, like, kind of like an it boy.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Hallie]

And I was like. We were, like, kind of like a hot couple.

[Chad]

No. Yeah. I agree.

[Hallie]

And we kind of ran chow.

[Chad]

Yeah. But I just, like.

[Hallie]

But now he still acts like he's 17.

[Chad]

Yeah, he's. Yeah. I haven't even seen him, but I know he's a. I've heard.

[Hallie]

I've heard things. He's weird now.

[Chad]

No, I. Yeah. I always just wanted to, like, be an older kid. You know what I mean?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And so I think I started, like, things a little bit younger.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

But I think it's a good thing because I'm kind of at the 8. I'm at the point at 25 years old where, like, I done it everything in the book. Like, I'm good now.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I also feel like you're. This is like, another similarity I just thought of between us, too, is, like, when we go out, I feel like we have to, like, we have, like, a service to, like, feel like the life of the party, almost.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Hallie]

Drinking, partying, like, being, like, chaotic, and.

[Chad]

People expect you to be entertainment for entertainment.

[Hallie]

But, like, almost like, are you laughing with me? Are you laughing at me?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And I feel like I felt like that a lot of my life.

[Chad]

I think it definitely got to a point where I, like, would struggle with people taking me seriously. And it's like, 100 same, and I'm a huge person on, like, respect. And, like, I'll. I'll gladly, you know, crack a joke, make people laugh. But, like, the second I'm looked at as, like, a clown, like, you get pissed, I get tight. Yeah. And, like, disrespect starts to come out. It's like, all right. Like.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And you'll clock. You. You'll put something in line.

[Chad]

Yeah. No, it's like, it just, like, flips a switch in my head, and I don't know why, like, where I learned that, like, where, like, if respect's not reciprocated, like, it's, like, the biggest. It's the biggest deal. Yeah.

[Hallie]

It's.

[Chad]

Maybe that's something I need to, like, figure out. But, like, still to this day, I.

[Hallie]

Think with anyone, respect is big.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like, someone treating you like.

[Chad]

I think it's clown.

[Hallie]

Like, dance, monkey, dance. Like, it's just kind of like.

[Chad]

I think it's like dad, like, was like, anyone gives you any, like, disrespect Punch him in the face. Don't even say anything.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Like, that's what he would always tell us, you know, which is, like, a bad. Which is not a good thing.

[Hallie]

Yeah, no, don't do that.

[Chad]

Yeah, don't do that.

[Hallie]

But, like, I'm trying to think of, like, how I handled disrespect when I was.

[Chad]

Yeah. But, like, now it's like, now it's like I crash out and it's like. Like, maybe I shouldn't handle that.

[Hallie]

I think I was a people pleaser for a long time.

[Chad]

I am. Yeah. I'm the same way.

[Hallie]

Like, I. When I remember in college, I used to, like, buy, you know, everyone's Starbucks. It could be smaller. Like, let people use my car and just, like, wanted to, like, people, please. To make friends. And I feel like it took me a while to, like, get out of that groove.

[Chad]

Yeah. You can't. People, please. Learn that the hard way. Many times.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Because people are mooches.

[Chad]

Because then you. You lose yourself and, you know.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Keep your circle close.

[Chad]

Yes. Like, stay true to what you know. And if someone has an issue with you, then it's probably theirs.

[Hallie]

And that's on. Period.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Okay, next question. Do you remember your first high school party?

[Chad]

My first high school party? Yeah. It was one that me and you had thrown together.

[Hallie]

When.

[Chad]

When you were a senior and I was a freshman and, like, you had all your friends over. I had all my friends over. And, like, a fight broke out because we, like, your guy.

[Hallie]

He's like, Belmont Hill sex.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. It was like two rival schools came to our house and, like, they started fighting in the street. And, like, it's not like you're fighting in, like, the suburbs. Like, you're in the city. Like.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

There's not only, like, three houses can hear you, but, like, 30 apartments. Yeah. Yeah. Like, a bunch of different people can hear cops going on.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Cops were called.

[Hallie]

Like, mom and dad weren't home.

[Chad]

It went down, like, a couple blocks.

[Hallie]

Just because, like, remember, like, random ass guy was like, on the roof of.

[Chad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hallie]

Someone's house down the street.

[Chad]

Some random route. It was like. No, it was a show.

[Hallie]

But wherever. High school parties, like. Or, like, parties in the summer on Nantucket.

[Chad]

Those were the best.

[Hallie]

Where the cops get busted.

[Chad]

Oh, my God.

[Hallie]

And you have to, like, just run.

[Chad]

Oh, it's the biggest adrenaline rush, like, running from the cops. Dude, I don't party. It was so fun. And there's. There were times where you, like, have to climb a fence and like, get thorn bushes all in your. Like, whatever.

[Hallie]

Yeah. It's like a thrill.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a thrill and you can't feel anything, but you're running from the cops.

[Hallie]

It's a canon event. Yeah, I remember. I was such a. Like, I'm like, I don't know. I was like, am I?

[Chad]

You'll, like, stay still and, like, tell the cops the truth.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And they were like, you're the only one arrested now. No. Like, no.

[Chad]

No dead ass.

[Hallie]

Like, there was that one time you.

[Chad]

Try to play the hero and they will arrest your ass.

[Hallie]

We were in front of our neighbor's house.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And the cops came through because we had a handle, a Malibu. And we're just sitting there drinking and. And they came and you guys all dispersed and it was just me. And I was like, I will not run.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And I had to go to court.

[Chad]

Damn.

[Hallie]

And they were like, who are the other people's names? We're like, I don't know.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So, like, maybe don't tell the truth all the time. Like, I wish I ran from the cops.

[Chad]

Yeah, running from the cops is fun.

[Hallie]

No, I would. Let's do it sometime. Actually, like, I'm down, bro.

[Chad]

Run from the cops one more time.

[Hallie]

Okay. I said, I always talk about how men aren't approaching women anymore. Why do you think that is? Or why do you think that is with me specifically or with people in general? Because I feel like people don't go up to women in the bar anymore.

[Chad]

Well, for you specifically, I think it's an intimidation factor. Like, like I said. No, but you just give, like, the cunty energy, which is, like, a good thing.

[Hallie]

Some is like, saying how I walk.

[Chad]

No, that just means that, like, are going to turn away.

[Hallie]

That's. I want the trash to take itself out.

[Chad]

Yeah, the trash takes itself out. Don't worry.

[Hallie]

I, like, where are the real men?

[Chad]

But in terms of, like, men approaching women, this is what I've kind of learned is that men who are insecure won't approach women as much. You know, they're going to want to wait until a woman can come validate them.

[Hallie]

Do you think in our generation of men is more intimidated by women than, like, dad generation of men or even in between.

[Chad]

Yes. I think there's more, like, gentlemen back then, you know, like, just like a lot more like, chivalry also.

[Hallie]

I think social media is kind of using that, right? Yeah, yeah. I think social media is also, like, kind of.

[Chad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hallie]

And they're so parasocial.

[Chad]

There's a lot of, like. I mean, I don't want to get into, like, a feminist topic, but I feel like there's just, like, a lot of, like, you know, girl power these days and this and that. And I think, like, that kind of, like.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I think women have more.

[Chad]

Like the dynamic has changed in society.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know, like.

[Hallie]

Yeah, women are standing on business now.

[Chad]

Yeah, women are standing on business.

[Hallie]

And I think men hate that sometimes.

[Chad]

Men.

[Hallie]

Men are scared of that, at least.

[Chad]

Insecure men will hate that for sure.

[Hallie]

Beta men will hate. Yeah. So I think it takes a very secure guy to deal with a woman that, like, has a sick job, has sick income, all that.

[Chad]

I agree.

[Hallie]

And I don't know if we're in, like. I don't see a lot of men putting up with that.

[Chad]

Yeah. No, I agree. Yeah.

[Hallie]

I mean, that was a good answer. What's something you did as a kid that mom and dad still don't know about? Other things.

[Chad]

Yeah. Like a bunch of, like, drugs.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I mean, my. I talk about doing blow on this podcast all the time, which is why I don't think that mom and dad listen to it.

[Chad]

Okay, well, so I've, like. I've, like, on accident. Yeah. You know what the thing I appreciate about me being a risk taker is I've tried all these things, and, like, I. I'm not addicted to them because I know, like, what makes me feel uncomfortable, what makes me. How much will make me feel like, you know.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So, like, at this age, like, some people were, you know, locked in their house by their parents growing up, and they go to college and they go buck wild.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

They don't know.

[Hallie]

Like, I mean, it's not like mom and dad were angels back in the day, too.

[Chad]

And especially just, like, growing up in the city, like, we're just, like, kind of thrown into things, thrown into the wild, and, like, we deal with it ourselves. So.

[Hallie]

Because we grew up in Boston.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

We didn't grow up in a suburb of Boston. We grew up in Boston. Boston.

[Chad]

Granted, we grew up in a very nice house, but you get the best of both worlds, because at the end of the streets, a different world. Government housing. Yeah.

[Hallie]

Yeah. You always had. I mean, your friend group was always.

[Chad]

I was very diverse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and, like, I never saw a difference between black and white, you know.

[Hallie]

But I do remember, like, you'd be in the car sometimes and they'd pull out guns and we'd be like, oh, yeah.

[Chad]

No, I. Because I would just go, like. Like, they'll Pick me up, we'll go smoke.

[Hallie]

You're like, mom, that's my friend.

[Chad]

Yeah. And like, when we got to the age where like, they start carrying around guns and stuff, like, I'm like, let me play with that thing.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

They're like, don't touch the bullets. It'll get your fingerprints on them.

[Hallie]

They said that? Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Chad]

I'm like, okay.

[Hallie]

You're like.

[Chad]

Yeah. I'm like doing this.

[Hallie]

Like, bro, no, tell me you didn't do that.

[Chad]

No, I didn't. I'm like refer. I'm like referring to like a video that I have my camera roll.

[Hallie]

Oh, we probably can't clip.

[Chad]

No, no, no, we won't clip that. But like, the reason it was so specific is I'm referring to something.

[Hallie]

Anyways, what's your favorite color? No, I'm kidding. Okay, you guys, this episode is brought to you by ZOC Talk. I don't know about you guys, but my entire social bead is filled with different health trends. Red light therapy can solve every skin problem. You should be slamming olive oil shots first thing in the morning.

[Chad]

I.

[Hallie]

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[Chad]

Me and you. Me and you for sure.

[Hallie]

But, like, we all get lit. We were talking about this the other day.

[Chad]

We get lit. The thing is, like, I get, like, so lit, but I never get, like, sloppy.

[Hallie]

No. I'm, like, very controlled.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I've. I've too much, like, awareness where, like, I could be. I could be drinking my. I could be drowning myself in alcohol, but I will be aware of, like, what's going on, you know?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Some people, like, lose their inhibitions. Yeah. Like, their functions, their bodily functions. Like, people piss their pants. Like, I'll never do that in my life.

[Hallie]

No.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Remember one of my ex boyfriends used to do that. Yeah. Wait, I've never told this story, guys.

[Chad]

That's. That's a funny story.

[Hallie]

This weird freak I used to date back in the day. I remember he was blacked out with his buddies from high school. And he goes, can you pick me up? He knew I was like a goody two shoes waiting for him at home to give him a ride.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And he. I go, okay, fine. I have to take my dad's fucking Range Rover to go pick you up. And he has his head out the window like a fucking greyhound and he's throwing up all over the fucking windows. So we got back to the house, and I had to take a hose to it.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And I was doing this whatever. And then he came upstairs and he peed in my whole armoire. And then two months later.

[Chad]

In your armoire?

[Hallie]

Yeah, Two months later, I brought him to Aruba, which is where we vacation. My parents have a timeshare there. We go there every twice every year. We got so blacked out one night, and I was normal and just went to bed. He sleepwalks and pisses everywhere. So what he did is, was my dad wasn't there yet. Mom was Sleeping. We were in the pullout couch in the living room. He wakes up out of a drunken slumber. Walks into my mother's room. My mom says she wakes up, doesn't know what the fuck's going on. Was worried that he was gonna, like, climb into bed with her.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And, like, start humping her leg or some shit.

[Chad]

Well, he's butt ass naked.

[Hallie]

He's butt ass naked with this massive hog out. He walks into mom's room, and Mom's like, holy. She thought a tripod walked in and her makeup. Her vanity was right next to it. And she. He thought the vanity with all of her makeup. I'm talking Chanel, Prada, Dior, all the makeup setups right there. He walks in thinking it's like a urinal and pisses all over her brand new makeup.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

She was rip.

[Chad]

Yeah. That wasn't a happy moment for her.

[Hallie]

But, like, it's my fault. It was like they were like, why would you bring this guy around? And I was like, I don't. He's. He's a drunk.

[Chad]

He turned. Yeah, he turned out to be.

[Hallie]

He was kind of a drunk.

[Chad]

Oh, a huge drum.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And he was like, always like, spita dipper. I'm like, what the are you saying? You sound like an idiot.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Anyways, that made me passionate. Let's go to the next question. What's something you wish more women knew about how men think?

[Chad]

Damn. Yeah. I mean, I'd say, like, speaking on personal experience, like, I wish women knew that sometimes things don't have to do with them and just comes from the person they're dating, you know?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

I think, like, women will take, like, something a guy does as, like, a total attack to them and a total, you know, just betrayal. But I think that, like, we were talking about earlier, like, a lot of it comes from internally.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And so I think girls just need to sometimes just be confident in the fact that, like, they're great. And it's not always, like, their wrongdoing.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Because I feel like sometimes when, like, something happens in relationship, I guess it.

[Chad]

Reflects poorly on People think it's something that they like.

[Hallie]

A woman, like, is like, oh, something I did wrong for them to, like, act out like this or something.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

When in reality, I don't think women always take into account, like, either, like, a man's mental health or, you know, there's other factors that go into it, I think.

[Chad]

And I think men battle with more than what is.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I mean, men's mental health is, like, a whole thing Yeah, I think it's like, an untapped category.

[Chad]

No. Yeah. And I'll be the first to speak about all that, you know.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Because I feel like I would assume that people. I mean, a man thinks that they have to fill a certain role, and maybe having mental health is, like, almost viewed as, like, a weakness and, like, maybe, like, a. A role that, like, a woman should take on more comfort.

[Chad]

Well, men. Men think that they need to be a man and, like, they, you know, shy away from vulnerability and.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Insensitivity.

[Chad]

Yeah. Sensitivity and, like, you know, sometimes being vulnerable is, like. It's a power move, you know?

[Hallie]

I think one of the biggest green flags a man could have is, like, being a man in therapy.

[Chad]

Yeah, I agree.

[Hallie]

I think that's a. I think therapy is, like, such a flex these days.

[Chad]

I just. I. I recently got into therapy, and it's. It's great.

[Hallie]

Like, I, like, need to get back into it. It's like dating, though. Like, I can't.

[Chad]

Like, you need to find the right one. Like, and I was a luxury. I wasn't going to do it unless, like, I found the right one. But I was, like, luckily matched up with this female therapist who I think I just. With what I was battling with, like, a female would understand, like, yeah, things better than a male, you know, 100%. And so, I don't know. I just. I think it's definitely been beneficial.

[Hallie]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I find one. That's, like, a fall problem for me, though.

[Chad]

Yeah. Well, wait till after the summer.

[Hallie]

What's your ick when you're dating someone? Like, what's an ick you see, in a girl? It's like. Honestly, I've never asked you this.

[Chad]

What's an ick? It's just, like, being annoying. Like, you know what I mean? Like.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Or. Or just, like, wanting. Wanting you so bad. You. No, no, no. You know, I mean, like, someone who, like, do the most to, like, show you that they're obsessed to you, and it's like, okay, like, relax.

[Hallie]

I mean. Yeah.

[Chad]

I mean, maybe that's. Maybe that's a bad take, but you're.

[Hallie]

Like, hi, sorry, you want me too much.

[Chad]

No, yeah, just, like, you can tell that they're, like, you know, trying to grab your attention across the room or something, like, and it's. It's. It's nice to a certain extent, but I think it's more icky.

[Hallie]

Inauthentic.

[Chad]

It's inauthentic. And it's ickier when it's more Blatant. But when it's like, when you know they want your attention but they're not fully giving to you, that's when I'm like, okay, like, maybe I make a move. You know what I mean?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So I think. Yeah, just doing too much and being annoying is icky or, like, a bait.

[Hallie]

And switch kind of.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like putting on this whole Persona of a different person that you think you would want.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And then, like, that's not just acting out of.

[Chad]

Acting out of character to, like, get you grab my attention, you know, I think that's just, like, icky. Like, don't act out of character. Be yourself. Because eventually, if we hang out another time, your true self is gonna come out. You're not a actor, and I'm not gonna like you. I'm gonna like you for your authentic self. Like, so.

[Hallie]

That was good.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Clip that. I think for me, I mean, damn. I don't even know I've topped that. But I don't know. I guess it's kind of in the same realm when, like, guys go overboard to, like, be, like, a super big gaslighter and, like. Like, they're, like, trying to, like, almost like, it's the way they flirt.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Is being toxic like, Toxic is your form of flirting?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

There's, like, one guy I have in mind that used to do that to me and that. You probably know exactly who I'm talking about. But he was thinking it was, like, the funniest and most like, flexi thing to just, like, toy with my brain and, like, my Achilles heels. And I, like, thought that was, like, in hindsight, that's icky. But when I was in it, it.

[Chad]

Just, like, it felt.

[Hallie]

Broke my heart.

[Chad]

It felt like you needed to, like, prove yourself.

[Hallie]

Yeah. I don't think that should be the case ever.

[Chad]

Hell, no.

[Hallie]

No. Damn. We're getting deep. And I love it. Are you scared of getting rejected? Are your male friends scared of getting rejected?

[Chad]

I definitely, like, traditionally have been scared.

[Hallie]

Of rejection, like, from anything, though. From a school.

[Chad]

Like, I'm like, work. Like, work. I'm scared of rejection a lot.

[Hallie]

100.

[Chad]

I'm in sales, you know, like, life is sales.

[Hallie]

Like, you're almost yourself.

[Chad]

I think I, like, grew up with such, like, a perfectionist mindset where, like, if things aren't gonna go my way and I. I know there's a possibility they're not gonna go my way, I'll, like, shy away from it.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And, like, if it's. If I know it's not going to be Perfect. Then I'll be hesitant to make a move on it, you know?

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So that's a good answer. Yeah.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Rejection's not good in any form.

[Chad]

Rejections, No.

[Hallie]

I always say each year I'm like, I've learned something from this guy, I've learned something from that guy. And then I get the little like taste of rejection. And I think I have a big ego. But I also always say I've low self esteem in some aspects of my life and.

[Chad]

But with rejection, I've learned to like use my ego to my advantage, you know, I mean, if I have to.

[Hallie]

Fake it till you make it, if.

[Chad]

I get rejected, it's like, all right, cool. See you never, you know.

[Hallie]

No, that's so real.

[Chad]

No. Yeah. And like maybe inside you're like.

[Hallie]

But like, no, you can never like let the outside party knowing that like you're like offended by reaction.

[Chad]

I'm always like, you 72 hour rule. If it doesn't bother you three days later, then it's not.

[Hallie]

Is that a thing?

[Chad]

I don't know. I heard it from like Drake.

[Hallie]

Wait, I'm gonna do that. You know what my rule is? Is like I'll get super offended by something. I'll get super rejected by a guy.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I'll say I feel like right now and then I'll be like, I'm putting it into a box. I'm closing the box. I'm putting the box under my bed and I'll get back to the box later, I'll feel like shit next week and then I'll like, forget about the box because I have adhd. Let's be honest, some of the best ideas happen in the group chat at 2am with Shopify. You can go from we should totally make this a thing to we just made our first sale in a day. Whether you're building a community or launching a full blown brand, Shopify makes it easy and it's trusted by millions. Yes, millions. Shopify is actually the platform the extra dirty merch business runs on. Whether you're just testing an idea or going all in, Shopify makes it so easy to launch and scale. You don't need a team. Shopify is the team. It's your store builder, your fulfillment ops, your content assistant, all in one. I can't spoil everything just yet, but we're going to have some really exciting jobs for extra dirty coming soon and we will most certainly be using Shopify. I love it and I trust it and it's amazing. Chef's kiss. If you're ready to make that extra dirty idea real, go to shopify.com extra dirty and build your brand today.

[C]

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[Hallie]

Want to get some of these viewer asking Q A questions.

[Chad]

Yeah. What's up, viewers?

[Hallie]

All right. These are like, I will say, like the people that follow me and like ask these questions are like some of the funnier, funniest people. Yeah, I just like love this part of like a podcast is when I answer people's questions.

[Chad]

Let's hear what they have to say.

[Hallie]

Let's hear what they have to say. Let's start off simple. Who was the most expensive child growing up and why? That's such a good question.

[Chad]

That's really good.

[Hallie]

Because like we had different needs.

[Chad]

I think it was definitely me. Just not because of like anything that like they were buying, but more like lawyers. Lawyers. You know what I mean?

[Hallie]

Like, yeah, but like for me it's like rehab. Like, that shit wasn't free.

[Chad]

No, that's just not free.

[Hallie]

But I went to the jankiest fucking.

[Chad]

It's always me and you. You know what I mean?

[Hallie]

Like, we were definitely the most expensive.

[Chad]

But we also like not to toot our own swag, but like we love to dress nice and it's like they love to see us dress nice.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Like, sorry, you racist that way.

[Chad]

Yeah. And so like I'm gonna. I'm not going for the most expensive thing, but I'm going for drip. The most expensive good looking thing.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know what I mean?

[Hallie]

And you can tell the difference. Yeah, No, I agree. And I, I do think all our mental health issues, like, we've become more expensive.

[Chad]

No, absolutely.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Like, there's definitely some side gigs that.

[Hallie]

I wasn't chosen to be born. That's what you guys should have worn a condom. Like, I'm sorry.

[Chad]

We all also went to our own individual private schools, which is very expensive.

[Hallie]

We grew up in Boston. I don't think they like the Boston public schools.

[Chad]

They didn't have a choice really.

[Hallie]

But if we grew up in Wellesley or Needham or something, Newton, like, we would have done public school, but we.

[Chad]

Grew up in the city, so it's different.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Someone said, do you let your brothers hook up with your friends? I don't know. Have you ever hooked up with one of my friends?

[Chad]

I don't think so, honestly. But.

[Hallie]

But like, Sammy has.

[Chad]

Sammy has. Yeah, I.

[Hallie]

He's blessed a couple of my friends. Like, I could name three off the top of my head.

[Chad]

Yeah, I can't name any off the top of my head, but I think.

[Hallie]

Sammy's worse than you, honestly.

[Chad]

Really?

[Hallie]

In that realm? Yeah.

[Chad]

Yeah, I'd say so.

[Hallie]

Does the youngest hat really have it the easiest using. Talking about Sammy?

[Chad]

I think who is the hardest?

[Hallie]

What do you think?

[Chad]

Who's the hardest?

[Hallie]

Like, who has it the hardest? Like, sibling wise, the oldest, the middle child or the youngest?

[Chad]

Who do you think?

[Hallie]

I mean, we get the most heat, but, like, is because we're the middle children, because we keep up.

[Chad]

Well, I think. No, I think we're just like, very different. Like, we're wired differently, you know, like, we make decisions, like, based on like, what. What we want. We get caught up. Not what. Not what's right, but what we want.

[Hallie]

We get caught up in the moment.

[Chad]

Yeah, but it's not a bad thing. Like, we're. We're like.

[Hallie]

So I don't think we're bad people.

[Chad]

No, we're fun as.

[Hallie]

We're really fun. Like, we're also really polite and kind. That's like one thing a lot of people, like, don't see or know is like people always used to say growing up, and still now we are the most polite children you'll ever meet. Like, please. Thank you, Mrs. Mr. Always Always Napping on lap.

[Chad]

I always be a gentleman, but always do immature things. Not always, but I'm saying just traditionally, like.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Okay, next question. How much of your dating life do you share with your siblings? This question for me. Oh, we were just talking about this.

[Chad]

I. Yeah, I feel like I.

[Hallie]

You don't know anything.

[Chad]

I don't know much about your dating life. Because you don't date.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know, I mean, like, you don't date.

[Hallie]

Like, I don't bring anyone around. Mom and dad.

[Chad]

Yeah. Like, I don't even know about like your hookup life.

[Hallie]

But it's kind of like abysmal right now. I mean, sexual era.

[Chad]

You do your thing.

[Hallie]

Like, I haven't hooked up with anyone in months. Everyone, like, no, it needs to happen though.

[Chad]

Everyone. Yeah, everyone, you know, goes through their own phases, but, yeah. You haven't dated enough people for me to know much about your dating life.

[Hallie]

There's been guys you know about, though, that I haven't technically dated, but I wanted to, and they didn't want to date me.

[Chad]

And so what's the question? Like, how are those people?

[Hallie]

No, like, how much do I tell you about, like, if I'm, like, having boy trouble, like, or if I'm having, like, do I bring. Do I, like, not that much vent to you about guy? I don't really. I keep it all in. I don't really vent to my girlfriends about that either.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't hear much about your dating life.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I'm pretty private when it comes.

[Chad]

I mean, it's also different. You're my older sister, so, like, I feel like there's not much I can tell you. If you were my younger sister, I would go, you know, beat the kid up. But, like, yeah, I can't. I can't have much say. Like, I'm gonna be like, that's my older sister. She's.

[Hallie]

Dude, that's my older sister.

[Chad]

She says and does what she wants.

[Hallie]

Remember the old guy I was bringing around a couple summers ago?

[Chad]

The semi old guy? Yeah.

[Hallie]

I thought he was old then.

[Chad]

Well, like, he was old for you.

[Hallie]

But he was, like, 11 years older than me.

[Chad]

Yeah, but he's in his 30s. He would call that old. Yeah, A lot of people get offended.

[Hallie]

No, it wasn't old at all. It was like. But he, like, looked old. Lauren, that whole time thought he was 46.

[Chad]

I mean, he's.

[Hallie]

He looked weathered. Like a leather chair.

[Chad]

He looked weathered. Finance didn't. I'll do it to you. You ever see those, like, clips of, like, people, like, doodling, and it's like, finance people, and they're just going nuts.

[Hallie]

Is that on your free page?

[Chad]

No. Yeah. Yeah.

[Hallie]

What is your free page? Like? I saw dad's the other day, and I was like, what the is going on?

[Chad]

My for you page is just, like, all, like, either up or, like, sports. Like, just, like, a up sense of humor in, like, sports.

[Hallie]

My sense humor is really up, too.

[Chad]

Yeah. Like, I wish I. I had. Like, I would have, like, way more stories to tell about you, but, like, it's all just, like, up humor that I can't say no.

[Hallie]

Yeah, we can't. But, like, nothing too bad.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

What sibling caused the most fights?

[Chad]

Me.

[Hallie]

Really? Because I feel like Sam was a temper.

[Chad]

Oh, no, no, no. Well, I don't want to put it on him. But, like, he definitely played his role in, like, ratting on us when he was a kid.

[Hallie]

Sent a picture of the beer pong table.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. Just, like, little kid stuff. But I also, like, put myself in his shoes. Like, you know, he didn't really have, like, a easy time.

[Hallie]

Like, I remember this one time because we used to always have, like, semi formal stuff or, you know, like, after parties, prom, whatever. There was that one time where, like, Brynn had an after prom, and there was people, like, hooking up in Sammy's bed, and he came in with a bat.

[Chad]

Yeah, that's my guy. I told him that he was, like, 8 years old. Yeah.

[Hallie]

He's like, who are you?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Or were those people that, like, my guy. Mom and dad have a Jack and.

[Chad]

Jill closet to the guest bedroom.

[Hallie]

Guest bedroom. And there was people hooking up in there.

[Chad]

Yeah. And mom flipped out some idiots that we used to hang around.

[Hallie]

But, like, now we're, like, so much chiller compared to that.

[Chad]

Like, we just have, like. We're just older, and people respect people's homes more.

[Hallie]

Yeah. Like, we didn't get it then.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like, how can we get in trouble now compared to the shit we used to do?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

No, that's, like, my argument. Which brother is your favorite to get lady with or who's most fun? Liddy. Okay. Well, I have two brothers, I guess. Well, I guess I would say. I mean, I'm. I get along with Sammy so. Well now. Sammy's so fun to go out with, but I feel like the things that we like to do when we go out is more on par with each other than, like. Like, Sammy has, like, a limit.

[Chad]

Yeah. Sammy has a limit.

[Hallie]

Me and, like, self control.

[Chad]

Yeah. Sammy knows how to go out like a normal person.

[Hallie]

Like a normal person. We don't. We didn't get that trait.

[Chad]

Not at all.

[Hallie]

What, like, where did we go wrong? Did, like, mom drink when we were in the womb?

[Chad]

Honestly, there's, like, a lot of, like. Like, sneaky alcoholism that runs through the fam.

[Hallie]

I mean, I'm watching.

[Chad]

No, no, no.

[Hallie]

Shade.

[Chad]

No shade. But, like, we're all, like. We all like to booze.

[Hallie]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Chad]

No, there's nothing wrong.

[Hallie]

Dad likes to booze, too.

[Chad]

You know what? I've thought about, like, coming off the booze. Have you ever thought about that?

[Hallie]

Going sober?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Are you sober? Curious.

[Chad]

I'm very sober. Curious. No. Never thought about that. Never mind.

[Hallie]

I'm not, like. I, like, think. I. I've been thinking about taking a break in September. But then I also, this could be a bad thing and something I need to work on. For sure I want to come back. But also like I feel like sometimes my personality is dependent on. I get all social anxiety sometimes randomly.

[Chad]

Don't, don't get that like if you get social anxiety from like your job like you, you shouldn't drinking alone. You're going to make it worse.

[Hallie]

No, I know and I deal with.

[Chad]

I deal with shit like that. Like if when I'm anxious, like I want to go to the bar and I want to go drink.

[Hallie]

No, when I'm anxious I kind of shut down. But like I think, oh, I'm going out where I'm going to have to like talk to a lot of people and like really be on and like personality is really going to have to shine through. And I don't think this is a original experience where like you know, you have a sip of wine or like some alcohol and it makes you like a little loose and like you feel like you're like more in like your element. That's how I feel. And I think this year I want to make it more of a goal to like do some of these. Cuz I go to events like every like five days a week or a lot of the days of the week and I want to feel like I don't need alcohol. It's like be my funniest in like my social self.

[Chad]

Yeah, I mean I just feel like I'm at the point where I kind of owe it to myself to show like, like what my like true, authentic, authentic self is like. And like I feel like without say alcohol or weed or even like a zen whatever, you know, I mean like I feel like without all that you can never sit with yourself in your own thoughts. And that's something like, that's something I, I deal with. So like it's almost like I want to prove to myself that I can actually hang out with myself without freaking out.

[Hallie]

I like can't like I don't know if you know.

[Chad]

I know.

[Hallie]

But then my sleeping situation is like I always have something playing in the background. Yeah, I like auditory, I think sensory.

[Chad]

Issues where like I'll play rain sounds at night. Every night.

[Hallie]

Yeah, like I need to like Real Housewives will always be on. It's a little different than rain sounds. A bunch of yelling at each other, but like sound because I, I'm so scared of silence.

[Chad]

Yeah, silence feels like you're with your own thoughts.

[Hallie]

You have to like self reflect and I Hate that.

[Chad]

I hate. Yeah.

[Hallie]

But like, to get through maybe the painful aspects of self reflection, you gotta face the heat.

[Chad]

Yeah. You know, and it's tough.

[Hallie]

It's like childbirth. It's not that I know what that is, but like, you know what I'm saying?

[Chad]

I think.

[Hallie]

Exactly.

[Chad]

That's why. Yeah.

[Hallie]

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[C]

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[Hallie]

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[Hallie]

What sibling got caught the most?

[Chad]

Me.

[Hallie]

Damn. These are like, easy, targeted questions.

[Chad]

I know. They're all at me. I. Yeah, I got caught the most. I was too, like, blatant about my.

[Hallie]

Who's mom and dad's favorite?

[Chad]

Mom and dad's favorite would be young Samuel.

[Hallie]

You think?

[Chad]

Or you? Like. I mean, or Bryn. You know, like, it's just naming everyone.

[Hallie]

There's like 19 of us.

[Chad]

No, no, I. I think you are just, like, so yourself and like, everyone loves, like, your energy.

[Hallie]

I think they hate a lot of things about me too, though.

[Chad]

Okay. But, like, everyone hates everything about everyone. You know what I mean? Like.

[Hallie]

Like, no one's perfect. That's just the.

[Chad]

Yeah, yeah. That's human nature. But.

[Hallie]

But I. I would say dad.

[Chad]

Dad loves you.

[Hallie]

Dad loves me. But I think he also values your personality the most.

[Chad]

Yeah. I mean, me and dad share the same exact name and so that's a lot of like.

[Hallie]

Do you feel pressure in that?

[Chad]

Oh, man. It's like.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I can't.

[Chad]

Yeah, it's just like, you're a junior. Yeah. We share the first for, like, same first middle last name. So it's like, obviously he's who he is. And, you know, I think I'm great in a lot of ways, but there's just so much like you know, such a high standard that's, like, set, and there is a lot of pressure, and I think, like, sometimes the pressure can make you, like, rebel a little bit.

[Hallie]

Yeah. And, like, want to, like, test battles.

[Chad]

Yeah. Just want to, like, be like, all right, it. Like, I'll, you know, do what I want.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

I'd say we all have our turns being.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I think that's the best answer. You know, I used to think it was Sammy, and I think it was for a little bit.

[Chad]

Yeah. I mean, like, Sammy's. Sammy's awesome. I have a million amazing things to say about Sammy, but I also have.

[Hallie]

Like, a million amazing things to say about all of us, so.

[Chad]

Yeah, I do, too. I think we're all great in our own ways.

[Hallie]

Yeah, I like that answer.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Is middle child syndrome a real thing?

[Chad]

Yes.

[Hallie]

What would you say? Middle.

[Chad]

What was. What does it mean?

[Hallie]

Let me look it up, actually.

[Chad]

Because you guys treated differently.

[Hallie]

No, I think you rebel differently. Like, there's a role that.

[Chad]

I agree with that there's a role.

[Hallie]

That an older sibling plays, and there's also a role that a younger sibling, sibling place. We're in the middle.

[Chad]

Like, well, the.

[Hallie]

We're bringing the heat, we're bringing the entertainment.

[Chad]

You know what it is? I think the oldest sibling learns from the parents. The second sibling learns from the oldest sibling. And then I learned from you. Like, you're doing fun that Brynn doesn't do. So I want to do what you're doing. And then Sam sees how much of a show mean you can be, and he's like, I don't want to be that.

[Hallie]

And Bryn, like, wants to take care of us.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. Like the mother figure. And so, like, I think it's a. A great dynamic, if I'm being honest.

[Hallie]

These are characteristics of middle children. High sense of independence, feelings of alienation, competitive risk taking, strong social skills.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Strong sharing behaviors, peacemakers, low self esteem, flexible friendship skills.

[Chad]

Yeah, that literally sums me up.

[Hallie]

We're also both libras.

[Chad]

Yeah, we are both Libras. A week exactly apart.

[Hallie]

Yeah. So I'm September 30th. Chad's October 7th. It's a week of seven days. Yeah. It says firstborns are like perfectionist achievers, leaders, bossy, responsible, that can totally see Brim being that person. We are adaptable, independent, go betweeners, people pleasing, can be rebellious, feels left out. I don't feel that way ever. But peacemaker, social media and the lastborns are social. Charming, outgoing, uncomplicated, manipulative.

[Chad]

I don't agree with.

[Hallie]

I don't agree with. Manipulative or seeks attention. Fun. And then there's a whole category for an only child. Whatever. Yeah. Who is closest to who. Which siblings know your darkest secrets.

[Chad]

I'd say me and you.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

I think we have heart to hearts.

[Hallie]

I've gotten really close to Sammy, too, you know.

[Chad]

You've gotten really close with Sammy. And I think me and you may have, like, lost a little bit of our relationship. Just, like, through little things, but outside factors. Yeah. But I think when we're good, we're the best. I think traditionally, like, me and you have always been, like, super close. And, like, we just, like, understand each other. We're on the same, like, wavelength.

[Hallie]

Yeah. When we're feeling misunderstood, you're like, I get it.

[Chad]

And when you're misunderstood, I'm like, I think we know. Like, I'm the last person to judge. You're the last person to judge. Like, not judgment.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And so, like. Yeah. I always felt, like, comfortable, you know, going to you about stuff just as like my older sister.

[Hallie]

And I wonder, I always wonder what it'd be like if I had older brothers. Like, if you. It was roles reversed.

[Chad]

Probably annoying, bro. Like, older brothers are like, oh, I gotta protect you.

[Hallie]

And I'd be like, shut the up.

[Chad]

Yeah. For like, just you being older, I'm just like, do what you want to.

[Hallie]

Protect you in other ways. Like, I'm like, oh, I want to protect his heart.

[Chad]

Obviously, I'll protect you, like, when it comes down to it. But, like, then it's like, all right, like, do whatever the you want.

[Hallie]

Yeah. You're older than me.

[Chad]

You've seen more. Yeah. More of this life than I have.

[Hallie]

No, I feel that. What would you do if your sister was dating a bum ass loser and keeps lying to you about it? Like, what if I was dating a loser? What would you do?

[Chad]

I.

[Hallie]

Would you tell me?

[Chad]

I'd probably tell him. Oh, yeah. Like, yo, you're a.

[Hallie]

Have we ever dated anyone that you're like you?

[Chad]

No, I, I. Because again, I never, like, thought it was my place. Like, you know, like people were gonna date people who they feel like they like. And if it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, then, you know, they'll learn for themselves. Am I, like, accurate?

[Hallie]

No, you're accurate. But, like, if I was dating a bum ass loser, I'd want to be.

[Chad]

Like, oh, no, I've dated bum ass before, for sure.

[Hallie]

I'd want you to be like, how you're dating a bum Ass loser.

[Chad]

I know, but sometimes I just, like.

[Hallie]

Want you feel bad.

[Chad]

No. Sometimes it's like, it's not my business, you know?

[Hallie]

Like, it is.

[Chad]

Because then, like, unless it's like, blatantly you're a to my sister and you suck, then I'm going to be like, yo, watch. Watch your. Watch what you do to my sister. But, you know, sometimes I agree. Sometimes it's your business. Sometimes it can be mine. You know?

[Hallie]

What's the worst punishment your parents ever gave you? I know the answer to this.

[Chad]

Honestly. It might have been this week when they canceled the JetBlue card.

[Hallie]

The credit card.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So I talked about this on Call Her Daddy.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Because dad was like, the JetBlue card's canceled. Have fun. Good luck. The morning I was supposed to go on Call Her Daddy, and I was like, why would you say this?

[Chad]

Yeah, good morning.

[Hallie]

I'm like, a big interview.

[Chad]

It's funny, because he'll email us, too. It's like, bro, text me that you're canceling it because I don't check. Email it off.

[Hallie]

He emailed us all and cc'd us.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Wait. I don't have access to his JetBlue card, by the way. And he lied to me about it. We've had access to it the whole time. I just wasn't using it because he told me it was canceled.

[Chad]

Well, I texted Sammy. Sammy will always know. I'll be like, yo, is that for real? He's like, cap.

[Hallie]

Yeah, he said that to me, too.

[Chad]

But, like, you respected him and didn't I just, like. He, like, wouldn't you also have your own money? Like, yeah, I'm still working on that. I'm still working on my own bank.

[Hallie]

Like, I was, like, using it way too much.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And he, like, has access to, like, one of my bank accounts, so he knows what's in there. And he was like, why the. Are you, like, still using my money?

[Chad]

And I was like, no, I don't. I get it. But. And obviously, I'll have my own, but.

[Hallie]

Oh, yeah, he.

[Chad]

I do use his card for, like, Uber. Uber eats.

[Hallie]

Like, you probably, like, give the same name. You could probably use his.

[Chad]

I could probably use it again.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

To get into, like, a lounge at an airport or something.

[Chad]

Uses Social Security.

[Hallie]

I don't know if you could pass for 65.

[Chad]

True.

[Hallie]

But.

[Chad]

All right, I won't use it anymore.

[Hallie]

All right, who gets the most compliments? I just think it was me. But, like, Sammy's like, got.

[Chad]

You're just like, I think you're just like, already you've. You've been yourself for so long that it's like, all right, that's. Hallelujah.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know, I mean, Sam's changed. Like, he's gone from, you know, like a little boy to, like, a man.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And he's proved himself a lot in the recent years. So I think that's why he's obviously, you know, I put on a pedestal a little bit recently.

[Hallie]

I will give it to Sammy, like, and I tell him this. Like, he really wants to rush this era of his life where he should be enjoying to, like, have a summer job on Nantucket, chilling and not worrying about, like, a fucking private equity job. Like, you have, like, the Lee Room to do that. I think you should take advantage of that.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

And he wants to rush success so.

[Chad]

Much, and I think he's always looking to level up and always.

[Hallie]

And he wants it to happen right now.

[Chad]

The conversation I had with him the other day was like, bro, you gotta, like, you've. You've proved yourself. Don't worry. Like, we know the trajectory that you're on in life, and, yeah, you need to cut yourself a break, or else you're gonna drive yourself, or else you're gonna hate every moment that you're in because you're not satisfied.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So it's like, you got to cut yourself a break. Enjoy the. The moment. Enjoy where you've gotten yourself to, and, like, more will happen, but you got to be at peace with, you know, your accomplishments.

[Hallie]

100.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

That was deep.

[Chad]

After everything, dude.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know, I get deep, though.

[Hallie]

I know. I was just like. I feel like I'm don't know what to say after, like, you say something.

[Chad]

Deep, I'm like, yeah, yeah. Like, okay. I'm like, cool. Anyways, thanks for coming on.

[Hallie]

Is your oldest brother gay?

[Chad]

Is that the question?

[Hallie]

It's a real question. Is your oldest brother gay?

[Chad]

Me being the oldest brother, I'm assuming. No, I'm not.

[Hallie]

She probably sees you, like, like, canoodling with Graydon. Like, probably thinks you're like, I'll be.

[Chad]

Gay with great in any day.

[Hallie]

I hope anyone will be great.

[Chad]

If you see me gay with Graydon, look the other way. That's my dog.

[Hallie]

Did y' all ever beat the absolute out of each other, or is it just mind games the way y' all thought?

[Chad]

Me and you actually never really, like, fist.

[Hallie]

Sam used to throw hands at me.

[Chad]

You and Sam used to throw hands, Sammy.

[Hallie]

So, like, I would have welts in my head when we were, like, really Young.

[Chad]

You guys would throw hands and he was like £200. Yeah. You and Bryn rarely did, but I remember a couple occasions where you did. Oh, no, no one really, like, threw hands on me because I was too good.

[Hallie]

No, you would have killed me.

[Chad]

But, like, we would do, like, crazy, like, take like, a butter knife out of the kitchen and, like, remember that.

[Hallie]

Time you, like, chased me down the street with the football bat?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Or a knife.

[Chad]

Football bat.

[Hallie]

Wait, wait, what was that one time where I ran outside the street?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

Like, pulled something.

[Chad]

I had a knife. Yeah, you.

[Hallie]

Sonny's like.

[Chad]

Yeah, no, I had a knife. Trying to scare you off.

[Hallie]

And the craziest would go down in Nantucket. Like, we used to be really into ding dong ditching and playing manhunt. And then we'd do that thing, Invisible wire. Remember?

[Chad]

Throw rocks at houses. Egg people's houses.

[Hallie]

Gnome. Remember?

[Chad]

Throw rocks at cars.

[Hallie]

When did you do that? I don't think I was doing that.

[Chad]

Were you not there for that one.

[Hallie]

When I was never throwing rocks at cars.

[Chad]

Yeah. Sometimes you, like, want to take it to the next level.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

I swear the adrenaline rush when you're.

[Hallie]

A kid is like, what else would we do? Like, what was our nightlife like in Nantucket when we were like, between the ages of 10 to 15?

[Chad]

We would go run around our neighborhood. We ding dong ditch.

[Hallie]

Where was mom and dad? Where are babysitters?

[Chad]

There were. They were probably out and then back to sleep.

[Hallie]

You have to tell the story. When we were one of our neighbors that was renting, you went into their home and you found the mom's dildos.

[Chad]

Oh, yeah, yeah. These kids who, like, honestly, we hate. Yeah. They were like little geeks. And they would always, like, you know, give me and Sammy lip because it was his older brother and his younger brother. And then it was me and Sam. We were both the same age. And so, like, it was just like these kids, you know, would say something. Me and Sam would get, you know, on the defense and like, they were nerdy geeks. Yeah. But one time we went over their house and like, I'm like, rummaging through their mom's drawers and. And I found like, maybe like 10 different toys. Like, dildos.

[Hallie]

10 inch dildos.

[Chad]

Oh, my God. Like, slapping her sons in the face with them.

[Hallie]

Like, putting in their mouths.

[Chad]

Yeah, yeah. Like, hiding behind the door. And when they walk in, like, so dival. So bad.

[Hallie]

And the mom was like, we're renting.

[Chad]

It's like, yeah, yeah. And then the mom, like, apologized to her parents. Like, I'M sorry. I think your son found some stuff that's not really appropriate for his age.

[Hallie]

Dude.

[Chad]

Funny times.

[Hallie]

Funny times, bro. What's your favorite thing about me and your least favorite thing about me?

[Chad]

I think my least favorite thing about you is that sometimes I feel like you don't understand your self worth.

[Hallie]

That's a good answer.

[Chad]

And I feel like a lot of your confidence comes out and you know, through like some insecurity when really I think you're the shit in a lot of ways.

[Hallie]

You think I put myself down too.

[Chad]

Much or not even put yourself down, but just like handle things in a non confident way when really in reality you're.

[Hallie]

I could be standing on business.

[Chad]

You could be standing on business. Like, you know, like a woman, like.

[Hallie]

Yeah, but I've gotten better at that.

[Chad]

No, you have. You have.

[Hallie]

I used to be a lot worse.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, you're.

[Hallie]

You need to stop being a worthless.

[Chad]

Yeah. And I think my. I think my favorite thing about you is just like how cool, how funny you are. Like again, your delivery with things is just like so spot on. Literally. I've never met a girl who's like as cool and funny as you. And like, I'm your. I'm not saying that just because I'm your brother, but like, you, I like, you impress me in like so many ways. I like, I haven't seen in any female who walks this earth.

[Hallie]

I feel like that's so kind.

[Chad]

Yeah, no, I mean it's. I mean it.

[Hallie]

Wait, that was such a nice thing to say.

[Chad]

Yeah, you're just, you're very like, you're just like yourself and like, you're, you know, your delivery with things is like spot on.

[Hallie]

I feel like it's taken me like a lot of like years to really come into like.

[Chad]

Yeah, like you, obviously you have.

[Hallie]

You share the same thing in that way where I always tell you and I try to uplift you where I'm like, you could be doing exactly this and like content. You don't need to be having like corporate black and white job. I think you should be like, you know, blasting the world with your personality, which I think you should do.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I think, you know, I have a feeling in this next year you're gonna have a lot more opportunities to do if you just like give your. Take that risk.

[Chad]

Yeah. Yeah. It's all about taking the risk and betting on yourself. Yeah.

[Hallie]

And making sure yourself is like your biggest and best investment.

[Chad]

And I think I could, you know, do both, like, pull off both but.

[Hallie]

You should do both. I mean, I don't. I can't imagine, like, imagine if I was a real estate broker right now. Honestly, I think down the road, I would. I would do that.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

I'd have to renew my license.

[Chad]

Like, it's something to have in your back pocket, you know?

[Hallie]

Yeah, but it's a job that takes a lot of charisma.

[Chad]

No, it's also a job that takes. There's no, like, you're not walking into, like, a schedule, you know, you're not walking in, someone's gonna tell you what to do, how to do it.

[Hallie]

It's commission.

[Chad]

You learn. You learn from yourself. And it's not kind of like this job. You won't be rewarded until you close a deal.

[Hallie]

You know, being an influencer, I guess technically I hate that word, but I am one. It is what you make of it. You can say no to things, you can say yes things, but also, like, I'm not brand safe in a lot of ways. Yeah, clearly, I talk my mind on the Internet, but I'm not going to jeopardize that for a brand that I want to make, what, some cash off of just to support them. Like, I'm going to keep to myself, always be authentically me. And I feel like that has more longevity than being brand safe.

[Chad]

Absolutely.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So just like, keep it real, keep it authentic. And I feel like you're gonna do some great things.

[Chad]

Yeah, I. I know. I. I can do anything, you know, I love that. And I think the sky's the limit. Yeah, sky's the limit. And it's just like, I guess, picking a path and committing to that and putting your all into that one thing. That 100 is what I'm, you know, not waiting for, but just still deciding on.

[Hallie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Obviously I get upset about where I'm at in life sometimes and, like, wish I was, you know, had the finance job. Where you're making comparison is the thief, Joy. But, yeah, I rather. I. I rather, you know, not sacrifice my happiness. You know, I'd rather do it something that I know I'm amazing at.

[Hallie]

I mean, I was a late bloomer in that sense, too. I was. I hosted that crew until I was 25. Yeah, I really didn't figure it out. And I was so lucky that I had that, like, safety not to have that space to figure it out. Because a lot of people our age, my age, and even older are in these jobs they hate because they were forced into them.

[Chad]

Yeah. And I think you, like, you just, like, learn a lot about like you're not the only one who's in that position. You know, like so many, like the most successful people out there are started when they were 27 or whatever.

[Hallie]

It's life and I don't think you should compare yourself to where other people your friends are at.

[Chad]

Yeah, agreed, whatever.

[Hallie]

I think that's a good place to end though. Yeah, brother. I loved having you on. This was.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Hallie]

So much fun.

[Chad]

I know.

[Hallie]

Maybe we should make you a co host.

[Chad]

I know I was a little nervous at first, but.

[Hallie]

No, once you get in a group of things, it like becomes like just a conversation. We were just like catching up brother and sister.

[Chad]

We haven't caught up in a while. So.

[Hallie]

Thanks for having me on anyways guys. Extra dirty. Thank you guys for listening as always. You can watch on YouTube and listen to me yap in in whatever on every other platform, like comment, subscribe, say nice things, don't be too mean to me. But I love you all and I will see you next week. Besos.

[Chad]

Bye guys.

[Hallie]

Bye.

[C]

Surprise.

[Hallie]

Beach day.

[C]

No excuses.

[Hallie]

I'm in.

[C]

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[Chad]

Let's go.

[Hallie]

Game. Okay.

[Chad]

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[Hallie]

But now we want you to feel it.

[Chad]

Cue the emu music.

[Hallie]

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[Chad]

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