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Okay, so let's get into this little segment. Am I the asshole? These are your guys's submissions and we're going to read through them. And let's like, let's make myself feel a little bit better here and see when you guys with asshole instead of just me being a big one. Okay, let's go to the first one. My boyfriend and I had been discussing a threesome and while he was against involving another man, I was open to another woman. I set boundaries. No kissing and he had to use a condom. One night after drinks, I met a girl who seemed perfect. She was a lesbian and interested in me. I introduced her to my boyfriend and we all agreed to go for it. Things escalated in the bathroom. Wow. Things escalated in the bathroom. But I felt uneasy when he kissed her and didn't have a condom. I went along with it since he was enjoying it. But as it progressed, I grew increasingly uncomfortable watching him with her. He finished in me. We kissed her goodbye and I felt distant the rest of the night. Later he asked for her number to do it again, but I admitted I felt uncomfortable. He accused me of ruining the experience out of jealousy, saying it was stupid since she wasn't even into him. Now I regret it ever happening. Am I wrong for feeling this way? This guy seems like a complete in my opinion, like you set clear boundaries. The no kissing and he had to use a condom. It's an interesting factor that she's a lesbian, so she probably has wants nothing to do with him anyways, but that she shouldn't be kissing him if that's the case, you know, I feel like he's in the wrong because he. I mean, he ignored every single boundary you set. And if you're gonna have a threesome, boundaries are so important. You know, I've had a couple in my day. We've spoken about this before and. But I've never had one with a boyfriend. I feel like this a big differential because I've always done them, like, with a situationship and like, another person, and a lot of like, tequila was involved. But if in like, you know, with the situationship, obviously we had discussed it a little bit, but, like, I honestly didn't give as much of a. There's a difference between that and then being in a relationship and maybe feeling like that spark is like, you know, kind of dimming. You want to, like, add something to your relationship to give it a little bit of spice. I feel like there's a massive gap between the two for boundaries. I mean, let me talk about, like a little bit. The boundaries me and the situationship talked about. I mean, like, he really wanted a three way, this man. I've talked about him before. This man was obsessed with like three ways and cream pies. And I was okay with giving him one of them, but, like, I was a little, like, about giving him the other thing because I felt like if I just gave this man everything he wanted, then I would feel like absolutely, completely powerless. This man wanted a threesome so bad. He's like, I. I've talked about this before. Would put it on the surround sound speaker in his house, like porn. So it sound like 30 people were in the room and we were having one massive orgy. This man was obsessed with threesomes. He talked to me a little bit about boundaries that would go into having a threesome, because we would literally go out. We'd go out in Miami and have like a night, and he would literally, like, pick out girls and be like, wait, we should have a threesome with her. We should have a threesome with her. And I'd be like, wait, what the actual fuck? Am I not good enough? That was kind of the questions I would be asking myself. But the boundaries he laid out for me essentially were like, no kissing between them two. You know, he would have to finish in me and not her. The third person would not have either of our numbers saved. You couldn't follow them on instagram they couldn't follow you back on Instagram. Like nothing like that. There would be like no contact. It would be a one time thing. It would not be a reoccurring event because then that just turns into like a throuple. There was like one thing about like eye contact that I found to be very interesting. Like he couldn't have like eye contact with her or something. Yeah, like no, fuck me eyes were allowed. And also like 70% of it would have to like be me and the other girl. It couldn't be like a 50, 50 split up. Like, you know, like I would have to get the most attention from the guy and then like me and the girl would have to have the most attention on each other. And then he could finish whenever he finished. But it would have to be in me. Those were the rules. I believe if I'm missing anything, I'm sure he will text me about it. But I do think the only thing wrong here. There's a couple things that kind of gave me a red flag with this submission. The first being that I don't think this person was like super comfortable with adding a third person. It seemed like kind of like a last measure stretch to add a little bit of spice and intimacy in the relationship. And if you think a threesome is going to solve your problems, you're completely wrong. I feel like threesomes are for people that are extremely open minded and like enter a relationship already being down to have a threesome. I also don't think that the third person necessarily has to be a lesbian, you know, I mean, unless that's a rule you have. I mean that's, that wasn't one of my rules. Perjury. I don't think it was. I mean like a little bi curious maybe, but like straight up lesbian. I don't know about that, but you know, to each their own. The third also being that you wanted to have another guy in like a threesome and like he completely shut that down. But you're willing to work with him on the other girl being in the threesome. So I feel like if you're willing to work with him, he should be willing to work with you. You know, I've done both. They're like two guys is a little overwhelming. So I don't think you're really missing much. But you know, I don't know, he kind of seems like a dick. That was the main like premise of all I got from this is that he doesn't respect your boundaries and he's kind of a dick. And he just, like, wants more pussy. That sounds like what this guy is like. And he sounds like he should be dumped. I mean, you tried. Didn't go well. He didn't respect, like, the. You gave him, like, two things, and he disrespected both of them. The biggest thing I'm taking away this is that you set boundaries and he did not respect that. And now it's a respect issue. And now I feel like you need to get out of the relationship because he clearly doesn't respect, you know, your input and your opinions on, like, big matters. A lot of people. Probably when you think of threesomes, it's like, okay, I don't want to share my man with another girl. You can either see it, like, as yes from the jealous, like, standpoint, or you could be like, oh, that's hot. You know, like, it depends on your mindset or whatever. And, like, how secure you are in your relationship with your man. But also, are you the jealous type? Like, a lot of people don't know this about me, but, like, I am the jealous type. Every threesome I've had has been not with someone I'm in a relationship with. And I'm trying to, like, put it. Put myself in the shoes of, like, okay, if I was in a relationship with them, would I feel differently about this? Would I feel like, get the fuck off my man? Because every relationship I've been in, I feel like that's. If a girl even, like, breathed the same air too closely and made, like, weird ass eye contact with my significant other, he would be hearing about it or they would be hearing about it. There's been only a couple times where, like, you know, a girl got too touchy or something, like, maybe like, touch his arm or something. And I had no problem saying, back the up off my man. This happened a lot in college because I was a senior and I was dating someone who was a year below me. And, you know, new classes come in of people, of girls. So, like, I remember we were seniors and he was a junior, and there was like, a new freshman class of girls coming in that obviously I don't know who's in a relationship with who. So, like, there was a couple, like, freshman girls, like, hitting on, like, my boyfriend. And I, like, had to unfortunately set those people in their place and him. And I'm also like, you can't you cross your arms or something? Like, do something, like, wear a shirt with my face on it or something? Like, that was the type of girlfriend I was in college, but I was Also extremely insecure. And I felt like my problems in my relationship were a complete and utter mirror reflection of that. So I was like, maybe if I was, like, a little more, like, confident and, like, self assured. And I also feel like he did a bad job about reassuring me of, like, my. My own peace. Like, even if you know you're being insane in relationship, having, like, your significant other, your boyfriend, like, reassure you constantly, it could be like a pain in the ass for them. But, like, sometimes a girl needs it. And, like, we're just girls out here. We just, like, want compliments and loves and hugs. And that's the kind of person I was in a relationship. So I don't know. Like, I'm trying to think. If I was in college and my boyfriend at the time was like, let's add a third, I probably would have kicked him in the balls. But we tried other stuff. We did, like, bondage and fun things like that. Like, there was obviously still spice to our relationship, but, like, my last resort would be like, okay, let's have a threesome, if anything. I used to, like, make out with, like, girls in front of him and, like, be like, was that hot? Like, I feel like everyone needs to do that. Like, was that hot? And they'd be like, yeah, that was so hot. But no, I feel like too much of the jealous type. I don't know. I haven't been in a relationship in, like, six years, so it's hard to say how I would be now. But, like, I feel like, I don't know, I'm a little more self assured, a little more confident. Maybe if, like, the tequila was flowing right, I would do it now and, like, wouldn't care. Like I said, I will beat this point over the head. The third person does have to be a random ass or else it won't work because then it'll be like, three friends and it'll get awkward. Like, you might, like, ruin a friendship there. Like that episode of Gossip Girl. You know that episode of Gossip Girl where Dan is dating Vanessa and then they. Or, no, Dan is dating Hillary Duff, and then, like, they have the threesome with Vanessa and then it's, like, super awkward because they're, like, all like, oh, like, we all, like, hooked up with each other and like, then, like, I just got complex. Like, you don't want the complications of the post. Not clarity. Okay? Because then I'll just get interesting. Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable.

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Podcast Host (24:17)

Okay? Am I the asshole for applying to jobs in different cities and planning to move? Even if I live with my boyfriend, I've let him know I'm applying to the jobs in other cities. But I plan on ending things after chapter. Oh yeah, I would say that's an oop. This is what it looks like to me. I mean, I feel like for girls, they emotionally and mentally break up with someone months and months before they actually have a conversation with their significant other. Like they've already mourned the loss of their relationship before they even have a conversation with it. And by the time they are able to eventually build the courage up to actually talk and say, you know what, I'm done. They've already thought everything through and, you know, grieved everything that end. I feel like for men, it's like the complete opposite. They kind of just do it and then they like go out and have fun and party and then they grieve it like three months later. I think that, okay, you told them that you're applying for other jobs. I feel like that should be a red flag to your boyfriend just because why would you be applying to jobs if you're not gonna like potentially take one of those? Unless he thinks that like, there's a chance that you guys are going to do long distance? I don't personally believe in long distance. I think it's kind of like, what's the point? Unless, like the love is. I mean, maybe I've just never been in love like that before. But like, what? There's so much stick out there. Why would I do long distance with someone that lives in like, you know, hours and hours away from me when I could just, you know, text someone that lives in like the East Village? But, you know, am I the asshole? I mean, I don't. I wouldn't say you're an. I would say you're just a girl living in this world. You know, it's your first time living, just like it's my first time living. We're just trying to navigate our way through life. I would advise you, and I'm not the relationship expert here, I would advise you just to sit down with this man and say, listen, if I get a job, my dream job, and I have to move, I don't see us making it work long distance. And I think if you already know it's not going to work long distance, you already have it in you somewhere that you don't think the relationship's going to work out in general. So I would just sit down with this man and say, this is how I feel. This is what's going to happen if X, Y and Z happens. And I think we should cut ties or at least take some space. You know, maybe the, the heart space makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe you move and you miss this man. And maybe you guys back together and rejoice and embrace, but probably not. You're probably going to find new dick and wherever you're moving to and wherever your new job is and wherever you're like, starting your new fresh chapter of your life, which is fine, you're allowed to do that. And he can move on too. Let's do another one. Am I the asshole for telling him that I don't want to see him anymore because he has low self esteem? Not at all. You're not a mother, you're not a therapist. I mean, maybe you are a mother. I don't know your situation exactly, but you're, you're not his mother, you're not his therapist, you're not a psychiatrist. It is not your job to pull him out of whatever rut he is in. You know, I've been in a relationship where like, I'm the one with a low self esteem. And even if you are a good person, even if this person is guilt tripping you and like kind of trying to Trauma bond with you and feels like if you don't stay with them, then they're gonna like, self implode. I mean, that's, it's just not your responsibility. I, I feel bad for people that are in these situations because there's a lot of like, duality that goes into it. Like you feel like pulled in two different directions. One part of you feels like you want to be there for this person. You want to cater to this person. You love and care about this person as a human being. But on the other hand, it's fucking draining to be in a situation like that. It sucks the life out of you and you don't deserve that either. And you should not be a supplement to someone's, you know, happiness. You should, you should be in a good place. That's why I always say, like, entering a relationship, you should feel like a whole person. In that person, whoever you choose to like, be in your life, they should add to it. They should not fill a void or fill a gap to make you feel like a whole person. So I feel like you're doing this person a favor by letting them go, figuring out their, letting them grow individually, on their own, on their own two feet so they don't feel super, you know, reliant on the self assurance, on the assurance of other people. Like, it's not your job. I don't think you're an asshole at all. I think you would be making a smart and respectable decision to cut him loose and his own mother can mother him and maybe he'll go to therapy and maybe he'll grow and then he'll come back to you, maybe better. It's not your job. And don't make them feel like it is your job because I'm telling you it's not. Okay, let's do another one. Am I the asshole not wanting my boyfriend's mom engagement ring from his dad? Parentheses, they are divorced. I feel like the they are divorced in parentheses. Makes me feel like you think the ring is maybe a little cursed. Maybe it's bad juju. Also, maybe you don't like the ring. Maybe you just want a fresh, beautiful new ring. I don't think this is a bad thing. I don't think you're the asshole at all. It's your fucking hand that you have to wear it every day. It's your jewelry at the end of the day. And if he's really the one, he's gonna get you the ring of your dreams. I get the factor that maybe it's important to maybe him that you have his mother's ring, or maybe it's important to his mother, therefore important to him that you have the ring. But at the end of the day, what are you happy? Like, what are you happy with? It's your ring. Like, it's a gift to you. So you should have a say, and I think you should have a say in the ring. I would first figure out how important this ring is to your man or to his mother or to whoever wants you to have said ring before telling him that having the ring is not an option, that you need a new ring. So figure that out first and then we can have the next conversation. Because if it's super really important to him, like, obviously you don't want to hurt his feelings, but also, like, your opinion does matter in this. It is your ring. So, no, I don't think you're the asshole, but I do think that it will be a careful and, like, you know, very gentle conversation. I wouldn't, like, yell at him for the ring, but, like, you know, just kind of, like, feel out, like, the importance of it and then take it from there. I would say that. I mean, if it was me, I would want my own ring. I don't want, you know, but, like, I'm like, kind of, like, paranoid like that. Like, I would think about the fact that they were divorced. I would be like, okay, I don't want that juju near my ring. That's what I would think. But I'm also, like, superstitious in a lot of ways, but, like, I have a right to be. That's fine. That's just me. Maybe there's a world where you live in. I mean, I don't know how deep your man's pockets are, but there's maybe a world where you accept this sentimental ring as a gift, but he also gets. Gets you your own beautiful fresh start, fresh chapter, your own ring that you love. Maybe there's a world where they both can live in the same place. Because that would be honestly the biggest lie. I mean, more diamonds. That's perfect. That's what I would. I would try to go for that. Okay, guys, am I the asshole? That was a fun little segment. Thank you guys for submitting those. I feel like that'll be fun to do again. And I feel like I love hearing about other people's asshole moments, but it's also like, this is what I'm here for. I make you guys feel better about being an. Maybe you're an. Maybe you're not. But, like, you know, What? We can all be together at the end of the day.

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Okay, there's other things I want to fill you in on. As you guys know or maybe saw on social media, whether that be Instagram or Tick Tock. My parents came into town along with my younger brother Sammy. They came for a little family shopping weekend spree filled with lots of dirty martinis and, you know, good times. Lots of laughs too. I hadn't seen my parents in a few months, which is crazy to me. I'm extremely close with them, especially in my adult years. I feel like I, I just love hanging out with my parents. I mean they were always like the cool parents in high school. They always like kind of had like a long leash sort of parenting. We could stay out, we could have pre games post prom. I talked about that last week. They were fucking cool ass parents and I feel like it like very much created this like rapport where we're just like very open and just like love hanging out with each other now that we're like real adults in the real world. So they came in last week and you know, my mom was a little upset because I am really bad at like calling her, which I is important to some people. I, I get it but like I am not someone. I'm the worst texture ever. Everyone that knows me well knows this, but they're like, I don't get it. Like your whole life is on your phone. Like all you do is like post TikToks and Instagram, blah blah blah. How could you not like answer a phone call? I'm like, well like that's kind of the point. Like I just want to get off my phone. And I also have bad adhd, so if I'm not replying to, don't take it personally. But it probably just means that like I forgot to reply or was busy doing something or I was probably sleeping or napping. I've been doing that a lot lately too. So Anyways, they came into town in kind of the program. When they're in town, it's the same fucking thing every time. They are creatures of habit. They stay at the same hotel. They love saying hi to all the people that work there on a first name basis. They have the same exact workout class they go to every morning at the same, the same time. And then we meet at the same brunch place. They get the same order. And then we go uptown and we shop around and bop around. It's the most predictable weekend ever. But there's a little bit of like, it's. There's a lot of safety that goes into a predictable weekend. I know that we're gonna have hangovers. I know we're gonna get good shopping done. I know that we're gonna laugh a lot and we're gonna stay out late. So my parents, they came in on a Friday. They went straight from the Amtrak. They love taking the Amtrak because we're. They're from in the city of Boston. It's a four and a half hour, very beautiful scenic train that takes you right into the heart of Manhattan. They got in around 8:30 and I meet them at this restaurant. My mom clearly has a little bit of a buzz going. And she was like, halle, like. Because I could tell because the first thing she says to me was like, you don't call me anymore. And I'm like, mom, hi. Like, I haven't seen you in so long. She's like, you don't pick up the phone. And I'm like, okay. Like, let me order a drink before we get into this. And my dad's like, you need to put Uber on your own credit card. Like, I was like, okay, what is happening? I literally just sat down and Sam's like, oh boy. And he's not drinking right now because he's doing this like summer cut thing I guess guys do. I don't even know what's going on with that. But anyways, my mom was like, we ordered these like bottled like these pre bottled drinks in on the Amtrak. And I like, I don't know if you slipped me something. Like, I can't really. She was like a little wobbly, but I was like, did you E anything all day? Are we blaming like the Amtrak already? And my dad's like, well, I did slip him like a 50 tip, so maybe you like put something in there extra. I'm like, okay. No, he wouldn't drug you as a thank you for tipping them for a. Like what? That doesn't make any Sense. So anyways, we went out, we had a great Italian meal. And then after every single meal, we always have the same dinners. We have what we call a final final. And we never need the final final, but we always do a final final. And they call it liquid dessert. So that's usually my mom will get chamomile tea and put a little bourbon in it, or she'll get an espresso martini and we'll kind of like interchange between those like liquid desserts. And we usually just have them like in the lobby of their hotel. And we end up like meeting like, there's always like super cool people at their hotel. So we end up meeting like people from different walks of life. And like, they just like. Of like meeting people in New York. It's great people watching, you know. Just because my parents are in town doesn't mean that like I can't go out after. Because a final final to them is a final final end to their night. A final final to me is, okay, this is one more drink before I go to the next function. Which is exactly what I did. I went to a members club I just joined right after, met up with some friends, met up with some daddies. And I feel like just because my parents are in town, this is usually the case, doesn't mean that you can't go out after and have your own fun. It never gets in the way with any man and never interferes with anything. I remember not too long ago, probably, maybe like the last time my parents were in town, I went out the night after I ended up at Gospel. And then I ended up hooking up with someone at like 8am which is like 3 hours before I have to meet up with my parents. So I'm like in the Twilight Zone hours. Like the sun is up and so is his penis in my face. And like all I'm thinking in the back of my head is, holy. I have to like have brunch with my parents in a few hours. My point to the story is, even if parents or family or guests or whatever, what if they're in town, it's never going to interfere with me finding a man and bring him home. Because, you know, I still make it. I still make it work. There is a final final and then there's the final final after the final final, which is my final final. And speaking of finals, one final thing. I've talked about this a little bit, but I just feel like nightlife in general. I can't tell if it's like the bleakness of Winter that is maybe just really starting to kick in for me mentally. Like, I just have no interest in, like, staying out until, like, the sun comes up anymore. Maybe that's my frontal lobe developing, or maybe that's just like, me aging, really. But, like. Like, for instance, the other night, like, people want to go to Solomon. Like, the. They're like, oh, just go at like 2am we'll do like a little toosie, and we'll like, go to the Brooklyn Mirage and like, have a night. And I was like, that sounds like a. Literally my worst fucking nightmare. That sounds like a sleep paralysis demon has entered the chat. Because I, like, I had no interest in doing that. But I was like, wait, am I not being fun or am I just, like, I. I just, like, can't tell right now because I have no interest. I just hit a fucking wall around, like, 1:30 and I'm like, okay, maybe I'm not pacing myself correctly with alcohol. So I tried to do that the following night. And I was like, wait. Has nothing to do with alcohol. I just, like, there's no point, like, if sometimes you just gotta call it a night. And I'm one of those people that, like, I hate calling it a night. I hate letting go of the night. You know when, like, everyone's like, all right, it's time to go to bed. I am that person that, like, I get sad when that hour is approaching because I don't want to say goodbye. I want the party to continue. And then I just, like, kind of. I don't want there to be a goodbye. That was fun. So, you guys, whatever. I just would rather go out to, like, the Peak and then, like, snap them in bed. I don't want the goodbyes to the night. That's just like, not the type of person I am. But recently I've just been like, I'm cold. It's cold outside. Like, everyone's dick shriveled up. No one's outside. I don't know where all the hot men are hiding. They're like, underground in the tunnels. I don't even know where these men are hiding out. I've tried switching up bars, locations, members, clubs, blah, blah. No, they're all either taken or gay. I don't. At this point, I don't have no idea. Or they're in Miami or in Aspen, which is why I'm done with this month. I'm done with winter. And then, honestly, I don't want spring either. Spring's like, wet. Spring's like one big wet ass pussy. Like, I don't want spring either. It's like kind of cold too, but it's damp and like, you know, it's not conducive with any hairstyle. It's kind of just a show. I just need hot summer. I want it to be a UV 10. I want a spicy margarita or a rose in my hand, or both in each hand. And I want a hot man with a 10 pack right next to me. Or a daddy that is paying for our boat day one or the other, or all the above. Nothing in between. Sorry to get that out. That felt good. That's why I'm looking forward to Miami, which is like coming up in a few weeks, the Miami Unwell spring break trip, which if you guys know Unwell, they can throw a good ass party. I've probably been to like all of them at this point. I've been. If there's been a tally who's gone to the most unwell events, I would like to raise my hand and say that I've probably been at every every one, maybe missed one. Even if like someone from unwell lets me know like three days prior about an unwell event, I'm like, okay, where am I booking my flights? I will be there. I will be there with bells on. Let me plan my outfits. They, I mean, they know how to throw a party. They always go so great. This party in particular, it's Miami, I think it's, it's a three day fest of a banger and it's going to be amazing and I am looking forward to it. It's going to bring me back into my Miami days, which I've touched on very briefly. But there's so much lore to my Miami days. I was a fucking. It was, you know, I mean, I'll get into it in like probably the next episode right before we head to Miami. But I was a force to be reckoned with in my mind. I lived there for three months and you know, Miami's not for the, the faint hearted. It's not for the weak. And I learned that pretty quickly. But it's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm very excited to get some sun to bathe. Krayden will be there, all the usual suspects. And it's gonna be like a blast. So I have that to look forward to. As long as I have something in my schedule to look forward to. I can sleep at night, I can hit rem. I can like cross off the days on my calendar and be giddy about something because for a while I was like I have nothing to be giddy for. Like I need a trip planned but now I have the on Wellspring break. It's gonna be a black fast. Okay guys, that was fun. It's always fun going down memory lane with you guys. That was a fun little episode. I love doing these little solos and like, you guys have the best submissions. That was a fun little segment as well. Keep sending me those because I want to hear your dirtiest and craziest. Ask me questions, tell me anything crazy. I want to hear it. It honestly makes me feel better about my life decisions as well. Because, you know, we're not all that different. We're all pretty much the same. We're all cut from the same cloth. Which is why I love you guys. Anyways, to close out episode, you know, you can watch the episode on YouTube, listen on every other platform, Spotify, Apple Music, etc. Etc. Leave 5 stars comment. All the good things. But yeah, I love you guys. Thank you. Bye. See you in Miami. Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable.

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