← Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Yelling at men & the return of my hacker *solo!*
00:46:02
This week, the lack of UV is causing serious adverse effects... so Hallie is here to yap! Hallie discusses her goals for a routined schedule in 2026, the Super Bowl, and her weekend afters where she yelled at a man.... oh, and her PHOTO HACKER is back! Then, Hallie plays a new game of HOW MANY MARTINIS where she describes how many martinis it would take her to do X, Y, or motha-effing Z! Then Hallie answers your Qs: Hallie's goals, having feelings for a friend, and how to get rid of a clingy man. Besos!!
Loading summary
Transcript38 lines
- [00:00]
A
Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits plan features in Texas and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.
- [00:30]
B
Meeting new people just got way more fun. Because now you don't have to do it alone. With Tinder's new Double date feature, you and your bestie can match together. Tap the double date icon to see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the group chat kicks off. Scope the profiles, send memes, keep the chat fun. Hype each other up.
- [00:52]
C
Flirt a little.
- [00:53]
B
Maybe plan a hang. It's always better when you're in it together. Try the new Tinder double date. Explore all the possibilities. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.
- [01:05]
C
My worst fear is like going on a date with a man that has to wear like inserts. Like, please. It's like a push up bra for men. What up, you little freaks? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Hi everyone. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. Hope everyone had a great week. I was in the mountains last week filming this very top secret project that will come into fruition in the next few weeks. I don't actually know when it comes out, but I know when it does come out, it's gonna make like a big SPL crash, in my opinion. I'm really intrigued to see how that's going to be received. I will say that I think the altitude. We were in Park City, Utah, which I didn't. I thought that Salt Lake was the same thing. Like, it was like a whole thing. I don't know where I was the whole time. I kept asking Siri what state I was in, but the altitude there, like, I swear to God, like I would go up an elevator and I would lose my breath. Like my lungs, my health. It's just not built for those kind of conditions. But I will say that it was a lot warmer there than it is in New York. I don't know what is going on with this Narnia Pole. Like, it feels like Antarctica up in this bitch. And I'M I'm like, not built for it. I don't like it. I can't feel my fingers, I can't feel my legs.
- [02:40]
B
I'm out of breath, my lips are.
- [02:42]
C
Chapped, my skin is dry. It's just like, not the vibes, but whatever. Anyways, this week is Fashion Week. We're back in New York City. We're back in the mix. I wish it was a touch bit warmer, but like Fashion Week. I feel like I have a good schedule this February season. If you guys don't know how fashion weeks works. Wait, that was a lot of S's. If you guys don't know how fashion weeks work, doesn't that sound like a crazy sentence? Fashion weeks work. Say that 10 times fast. Okay, so it's Fashion Week in New York City, which means like a lot of events, a lot of people are coming into the city, A lot of drinks, we flowing, a lot of parties, a lot of after parties, a lot of special guests. And I will be sitting in front row at a few shows, which I'm really excited about. Very grateful, very blessed. Gonna be looking cute. And also I feel like there's like a lot of hot men that come for Fashion Week, you know, like they're sitting front row and it's like a good time to like, meet people. I feel like winter. I've been feeling like this recently where like I. Every single February ish, March ish, I feel myself like on the verge of a major crash out. And I feel like it's just because, like the lack of uv. I feel kind of like isolated, secluded. Like me being single, it's just like really hitting. Not that I really care about it, but like sometimes like a warm body next to you or on top of you or underneath you, like, it's just like all you need. Okay, that's just like all you need. It just. I don't know, I just feel like I've been going out so much and maybe the altitude was with my head and like the circulation or whatever, but I just feel like little spirally but like manic in a really fun way where I feel like I'm also bringing a lot to the table, entertainment wise. But I fear people might be like laughing at me and not with me sometimes just because I've been off my rocker. But you can never say I'm like, dull. I guess. So. Yeah, I'm a couple. I have a couple trips coming up with some brands which I'm excited about. I told myself that this year I didn't want to do much traveling at the top of the year just because I feel like I have no routine at all. I don't wake up and, like, no day looks the same. And I feel like from my head, to be sane, I need some sort of, like, repetition. Like, something in my schedule has to be the same, whether that's like, you wake up, get a coffee, go work out. I've completely cut out working out of my life. It's just something that, like, doesn't. I can't find a place for it right now, and I'm okay with that, but I think that maybe I should at least, like, go to the sauna. My building has a beautiful gym and sauna, and I feel like if I just sit in there and just, like, sweat it out, it'll feel like a workout. Maybe. But I don't know. I feel. I always tell myself that I'm gonna, like, cut something out or add something in to make my life, like, a little healthier and, like, more sustainable. But, like, I just can't cut out partying. Yeah. Like, why would I do that? I just don't see that working for me. I just want to. You know, I just feel like I'm in a yes mood. Like, I want to say yes to every opportunity, and I get this, like, FOMO where I fear if I stay in, that could be, like, the night that changes my career or, like, changes my love life. What if I meet, like, Prince Charming or, like, the Prince of Monaco? I don't know. But, like, what if that's the night I decide to stay in? That's how my brain works, and it's not good. I am 28, turning 29 this year, so I feel like I'm gonna grow out of it eventually. But I do feel like I have. You know, men have Peter Pan syndrome, where, like, they don't want to grow up. I have that in the female form. I don't know what it's called. Twinkerbell syndrome. I don't know if there's a name for it, but I have a biological, and it is ticking, and I do want bipis at some point in time. I've been talking about freezing my eggs soon, which is a really crazy thought. I mean, hopefully they're still in there. I don't even know how that works, to be honest. What else are we talking about? The Super Bowl. My whole family went to the Super Bowl. I must have missed that email because I wasn't invited. My mom texted me and was like, I just assumed, like, a brand would be inviting you well assume less because they didn't. And thanks for reminding me that a brand did not invite me or include me. I was getting videos of, like, all my friends with my family. My dad's, like, dancing on the Internet with, like, Brianna. Like, they were all having fun without me, and I was, like, sitting on my couch, like, not knowing what's going on. They've been to more. Like, I've never been to a professional football game in my life, and they've. My brothers have been to, like, five Super Bowls. It gets so up and it's rude. So if you're watching this. Hi. You're rude. Thank you. My takes on the super bowl, it looked really, really fun this year, I will say. Like, it looked like a bunch of parties were happening. The raising cane stuff. Like, really, really fun. Bad Bunny. I'm a big fan of Bad Bunny.
- [07:41]
B
I think he's sexy as.
- [07:43]
C
I think he crushed his performance. I thought it was very moving. I thought there was, like, you know, a lot of, like, hidden symbolism. I thought it was a beautiful performance, but, like, I think it was kind of like he. It was like a Bad Bunny concert, and there happened to be, like, random footballer players, like, running around him. Like, it didn't feel like a football game. And it was the most boring, anticlimactic, underwhelming, like, boring fucking game I've ever watched a football ever. And I don't really know what I'm talking about when it comes to football, but, like, I just know that they could have done something more interesting with the ball. I don't know. And I was talking about this in a TikTok earlier this week. Like, the whole production of the Bad Bunny concert, I couldn't not focus on how there was a rehearsal and an audition to be a Bush. Like, there was a bunch of people that auditioned to be Bush, and I would have loved to have been Bush on the super bowl field. Like, you had to be, like, a certain height, and you had to sign NDAs to be Bush.
- [08:48]
B
To be Bush.
- [08:49]
C
You had to sign NDA to be Bush. And I thought that was a really funny, interesting thing because I would have loved to do that. I wish someone called me about that. What else happened at the Super Bowl? I wrote this down. Kim Kardashian and Lewis Hamilton. No one's talking about that enough, in my opinion. I didn't know if it was AI or not, but I love them together. Loki. I feel like that's end game if that's actually a real thing. I couldn't tell if it was AI or not. AI is starting to stump me a lot. But if they were a real couple, I think I saw a picture of them on Duma, like, making out. I think that's, like, what she needs, and I think that would be a hot couple, and I approve of that. My notes app is so funny. Like, I have a whole folder saying things to complain about. Okay, let's talk about my weekend a little bit. I kind of had one of those really scary weekends, obviously. I hosted an afters on Friday. My screen dreamed at a boy. I was really, really mean to this one guy. And I, like, kind of felt bad about it, but, like, it was kind of deserved. And also, like, I don't really feel that bad about it. I promised him I wouldn't talk about him on the show, but, like, sometimes I break promises, and I don't really have anything bad to say. And I'm not gonna, like, give any descriptive things about this man, but I.
- [09:59]
B
Just think that, like, this is a.
- [10:00]
C
Person I've had a sleepover with platonically. Is that platonic? I'm thinking about the, like, platonic plate plates. Like, the. The plates we sit on. Tectonic plates. But, like, why are we having platonic sleepovers? Like, what are we doing here? Like, don't waste my time. Like, I have enough gay friends that I can have sleep sleepovers with, which I did this weekend. Two of my gay besties. One Friday night, one Saturday night. And I love that because I love my gay man in my bed. But, like, I don't need. I have enough of, like, guy friends. I have enough gay friends. So it's just kind of like, what are we doing here? And it's just because it's cold out and it's February that I kind of, like, let things slide a lot. But after this weekend, I fully got the complete ick. I was just like, there's in no world where I'm just gonna be, like, begging for someone's attention or, like, what? Like, what are we doing here? Like, what are we actually doing here? Like, pull your together. But, like, I don't have a real reason to, like, be mad at him or disl him. I think we'll remain friends, but like I said, I have enough friends. Like, who needs guy friends? Can we talk about that? Like, is that even a thing? Like, I have a few guy friends that in no world would I ever sleep with them. But I just think that most guys want to sleep with girls, especially girls with fake knockers. Like, what are we doing here? Hello? Wake up, tits. Tits in your face. Tits are free. What else happened this weekend? Oh, my hacker. Oh my God. My hacker hit me up and he called me Howard. And I'm like, you hacked my. You don't even know how to spell my name. He goes, hi, Howard. I know this is nuts. He goes, hi, Howard. I mean, halle. And then I didn't reply because I. I knew it was my hacker. Cuz I typed and it was green because I knew. I just knew it was my hacker. And. And then he texted me like five minutes later, goes, we need to update your nudes. And I just blocked him. And I was like, he's so annoying. Like, my hacker's so annoying. Low key. Like, leak them. I leak them. Leak them. Trust me, I don't think I would lose followers. I don't think I'll lose them. Leak them. Like, it's not like, not even funny. Like, it's been two years since this guy's hacked me and he saved the craziest videos I've ever sent ever. Pictures, videos, tapes, multiple people involved. Like, it could have. It could get really messy. And I think that's what he was referring to. But like, like at this point, like just like land the plane. Like, what are we doing here? Like, it's just annoying. So I put on my private story. I go, my hacker is so annoying. Just like, Enough. Okay, enough about me. For this next segment, we're gonna do how many martinis? Basically, in this game, I'm going to read a scenario that production has gathered for me, and I will tell you how many martinis it would take for me to participate or do the following things on a scale of 1 to 10 martinis. And just a disclaimer. In no situation should we be drinking 10 martinis. Drink responsibly. But, like, have I. Yes, I have. I don't recommend it. Okay, number one, you have to post a soft launch photo of a guy you've only been seeing for one week. How many martinis to actually post?
- [13:34]
B
Holy.
- [13:35]
C
Like, to actually post a guy I've been seeing for one week, soft lunch. I don't know, like, if the guy is like, silly, like maybe silly goose like me. I think that after three martinis, I would, like, hold his hand and like, post. Like us. Like, at dinner. Like, I would do something funny, like, not serious. But I don't think it would take many. I think, let's be real. At 10 martinis, I don't think I could see my phone screen. Like, I would just be kind of like you know, and that's always my biggest fear when I go out is, you know, what if I accidentally post something for my camera roll on my story? And sometimes I'll look back on a Sunday morning and be like, I didn't mean to send that DM or I didn't mean to post that my story. Sometimes there's some interesting paraphernalia in the background of the afters and people me for it, but it's not mine, I promise. But I think three or four martinis, I think we could find a silly situation where this would work.
- [14:34]
B
February is the month of romanticizing your life, and that includes romanticizing your business. Whether it's a spark of an idea or a love affair with an entrepreneurship you've been waiting to explore, Shopify gives you the tools to turn that passion into something real. This is the perfect month to invest back into yourself, your creativity, and your next big thing. Shopify is hands down the best place to start and grow a business. And if you're building solo, iconic, Shopify basically becomes your entire back office so you can focus on the stuff that you actually care about. Whenever I talk to my friends who run successful brands, Shopify is always the common denominator. It's the secret sauce that lets them focus on the creative side while the platform handles the heavy lifting. It's time to build your brand. Shopify is hands down the best place to start and grow a business. Head to shopify.com extra dirty to see how easy it is to start your business today. Quince is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. Designed for layering and mixing, each piece helps build a timeless wardrobe made to last with versatile silhouettes and thoughtful details. They're the kind of styles you wear again and again. They've got the wardrobe staples with quality that's made to last 100%. Organic cotton sweaters Premium denim made with stretch for all day comfort luxe cotton cashmere blends perfect for the changing seasons. Quince works directly with safe, ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're not paying for the brand markup, just high quality clothing. As you guys know, it's been so.
- [16:17]
C
Cold in New York and I just.
- [16:19]
B
Got an amazing blanket from Quinn's that looks so cute on my couch and has been keeping me warm too. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com extra dirty for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com extra dirty free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com extra dirty.
- [16:49]
C
Next. You have to go live on Instagram for 24 hours and answer any question you read in the chat. You have the live stream while you sleep. I think if we spaced out the martinis, this could be an interesting little bit. I think two martinis got me really honest in answering the questions on the live stream. I think two more to get me to pass out on live stream so I could have a full night's sleep. I think we wake up, we'll hair the dog another martini. We are even more honest, even more silly goose than ever. So if I'm doing the math correctly, I think six martinis would get me to do this. And that's just math for alcoholics. You have to comment. I miss you daddy to your last ex's most recent post. How many? I feel like it wouldn't take me much to do this, like just to with them. I feel like I've done this actually. Maybe three martinis. I don't think they have social media anyways, but they, they might have just blocked me. I think that's the case too. A guy proposes to you with a public flash mob in the middle of Times Square. E. I would never go there. How many to say yes just to end the scene? Literally none. I would just try to end the scene immediately. Sober, I'd be like, get. Let's get the out of here. Also, like, why did you bring me to Times Square? I went to Times. I only go to Times Square with like my girlfriends in a limo after like gospel or after like a long night out. We went there a couple weeks ago and we're the only people in Times Square and it was like lit up like no one's business. It looked insane. And we got out of the car, we were having the limo driver take pictures of us in Times Square. It was really scary to look back on the next day. But yeah, sober, I would end this and I'd probably never talk. This guy again not marrying you. Thank you. You find out he used chat GBT to write his deep apology text to you. How many martinis? Forgive him. This is a forgivable offense in my opinion. I would say two martinis because I use chat GBT to write most things I send to people that have to be like, well written and like, if he cares enough to even like, you know, plug something in a chat gbt, I'm the type of girl that be like he cares, like he cares about me to even like ask Chat's advice. And sometimes chat just, like, formulates words better. I do this a lot. It's bad maybe because it, you know, you don't really have to use your brain or your heart. So I guess it's kind of not good. But I think I would forgive him. Two martinis. I'll say. Okay, your best friend's brother asked you on a date. How many? To entertain the idea, like, how hot is he? I would do this probably sober if my friend. My friend was cool with it. I feel like this isn't bad. Have I hooked up with a sibling of one of my friends? I don't think I've ever hooked up with, like, any of my, like, friend siblings. I've hooked up with my friends like, uncles, but, like, not siblings. Uncle. But I feel like that was just a whoopsie daisy. I don't know if I would do that again. Yeah, but I'm thinking about that situation that took me actually nine martinis to do it. And it was at the restaurant we were at. It was really crazy, and I probably shouldn't have done it, but you live and you learn, and he had a good dick, so I don't feel that bad about it.
- [20:17]
B
Anyways.
- [20:18]
C
Okay, you have to show up to your high school reunion with Alexa Pro Guy as your date. How many? Wait, why? Why is he whipping out his at my high school reunion, though? Wait, why is he whipping out his dick at a high school reunion at a Catholic school? I feel like if you just kept his, like, Lex Row dick to himself wouldn't be a problem. And, like, I could do this sober, but, like, if he's whipping it out and I have to deal with that, the high school reunion around all the nuns, I think we would need a lot of alcohol to entertain this idea. Five martinis. I don't want to get too up in front of sister, so, like, trust me, I'd be swigging it in the bathroom. We used to, like, have prom in, like, semi formal, and they were so strict about drinking, obviously. It's like, sin, I think, or whatever. And we were all, like, underage or whatever. We had to go through this thing called, like, a receiving line. So it'd be like every teacher, every nun, every, like, person, like, in the upper school. And you and your date had to walk through the whole line, like, shake hands with everyone. And then the last person would be sister. But, like, they would do it. So we would have to, like, they could smell the alcohol in our breath. And, like, if your date was, like, noticeably drunk, like, they would clock it immediately. So what we do is we'd go to the bathroom. We would have tampon things that were like fake tampons that we'd keep in our purse, but they were really like little like vodka capsules. So we'd go in and we'd be swigging like, bow, bow, bow. And then we'd go through the receiving line after, like, like dousing ourselves in Listerine and be like, I. And everyone would be so up. Some girls would even put tampons inside of them soaked in vodka. I know a girl that did that and I was like, b, what are we doing here? I need to take Adderall. I don't know what. My ADHD takes over sometimes. How many to fly to another country to meet a man? None. I would do this if they bought the flight and if they were hot. I feel like, have I ever done this? I've flown places for Dick. Not across seas though. I don't think, like, maybe I'll fly to, like, Boston or maybe I'll fly to la. I've flown to LA for Dick many of times. It's actually the only times I feel like I've been in la. It's been for Dick and maybe to record this show sometimes. But yeah, I don't think I've flown to, like, Italy.
- [22:45]
D
I would love. That's like.
- [22:46]
C
Sounds like a dream. That sounds like a rom com. So, yeah, I'll do that sober, but I'd probably have a drink on the flight, just, like loosen up all that, you know. How many to go on a date with a guy that was 5, 4, oh, 10, blackout. He has to carry me in a wheelchair, so we're the same height. Like, I can't do that. It's just not my vibes. And like, I don't like to height shame. Like, I feel like I can height shame because it's just personal preference. Like, guys have personal preference too when it comes to women. So why can't I have personal preference with little Mario and Luigi? Like, I don't want to go on a date with them, and that's okay. There's always someone for them. But I'm like a tall girl and I like to. Well, I'm not like, super tall, but I'm like 5, 7, 5, 8. And I do like to wear a nice pump because I want to be a height where, like, I'm not looking down at any man. Like, weeds out a whole group of competition that, like, I. I don't even need to pay attention to. Cuz when I wear heels I'm at least 6:2. And then that's exactly where I want to be. Math again. Look how good I am at math. But yeah, I mean like my worst fear is like going on a date with a man that has to wear like inserts. Like please. It's like a push up, rougher man. How many to let him use your toothbrush? He can use my toothbrush. I don't think that's. I mean not like every day, but like if we were in a. I would rather him have like, I'm not like a dog. I don't think it'd be like weird if like he shared a toothbrush with me for one day. I'd rather him use a toothbrush than like be fudgeing. Gross about it. You know, I have like weird OCD when it comes to like oral hygiene. I always have those like portable toothbrushes on me just because I'm just like kind of OCD about that. So if he has like a dirty fogging mouth, then we're going to have a problem. So yeah, I don't think I would need alcohol for that. But not like every day. That would be like, what are you doing? Like get a fudgeing toothbrush. How many posts a workout video to your main feed? I just feel like that would be kind of off brand for me. Like people would just be like, is this AI? I don't think it would work. People would just be like, what is she doing? And I have this issue about the gym, especially now that I've taken such a break from working out and I'm kind of like a little frail. I don't really have much muscle mass. To me, I like, I, I fear going to the gym now. I fear going to a workout class because I get like embarrassed because like, what if I fall off the recliner? Is it even called a recliner? No, it's called reformer. Like I've, I haven't been in so long, so I feel like I would hurt myself. And like, what if people like, you know, recognize me and like write it on Reddit and say, oh my God, this skinny ass like fell off the reformer thing. And it was like really embarrassing. So like, there's just no world where I'd be like making a workout video unless I like did it in the privacy of my apartment, which would be weird too. Like, I don't know why I would do that. I don't even think I can do a setup right now. I can barely like get up off this Seat after I record, like, exhausted and winded from talking. I'm like, dead ass. Okay, so what was the question? How many to post a workout video? I mean, a lot, but then what? I have to work out drunk. How. How does this work? I'm confused. I don't know. With this one, I'm indifferent. How many to go to a wedding solo? I think this will be a real situation for me, so probably three drinks alone in my hotel before we hit the venue, and then we'll see what happens. I, like, don't. I, like, could bring a date to a wedding. But, like, I see I have so many friends getting married this year that I really care about that are, like, really, like, my close friends. I don't want to entertain a new guy. Like, I could bring a date. Like, what are the rules around that? Like, I don't want to, like, bring a new guy that I have to, like, babysit when I want to get up with my best friends who were celebrating their love. Like, I would be like, you're so annoying. Like, go back to the hotel room. So I would rather go solo, I think, and just get up and maybe, like, hook up with, like, groomsmen. That'll probably be a real situation this year. Yeah, I think I did that at the last wedding I went to, actually, and it was lovely. How many to let your mom set you up on a blind date? None. My mom knows my type, whether it comes to fashion, whether it comes to men. And I think she knows what people would be the most compatible with me. She's always told me she goes how you need an older guy because the men your age, I think they're, like, scared of you and they're not gonna put up with your. And they're immature. And I'm like, okay, well, like, how old are we talking? Like, what? But I always said we need, like, an older. A 9 to 12 year age gap. And she agrees with me. But, like, all the guys have, like, shown her. She's like, yeah, they're gonna cheat on you. And she's been right about most of them. So no drinks. And I just, like, maybe she will do this for me eventually because she's never tried to set me up with anyone ever. Which is kind of up, honestly, but whatever. How many to answer a U up text at 3am? 4. I would never, like, answer a U up text at 3am, like, sober. Like, I don't even remember the last time I had sex sober, to be honest. Maybe cut that, maybe keep that. Maybe clip that. I don't really get that many you up texts. I kind of send a lot though. I've. I've been firing out texts and I'll look at my phone the next day and be like, oh my God, like too much invisible ink. And I keep it that way. I like drunk me knows that like, you better send this in invisible thing so you don't even have to like look at it the next day like that. Because sometimes they don't reply, but sometimes they're like on Tuesday nights at 3:00am like, who's awake? Like just me, I think. How many to go on a first day to a museum? I've been to the sex museum. I would do that. I think that would be a hot first date. Because the first floor, I've been there three times, which is probably too much for me to admit, but the first floor is a sex shop. And like, then it's like you go to like Mr. Funland and like there's a bar in the basement is actually one of my favorite things. It was like one of the first things I ever did when I came to New York was like, I want to go to the sex museum. It's actually the most interesting thing I've ever seen. I would go on a first date to a different museum if I took like shrooms or something, you know, like a little like. I feel like that could be a vibe. I don't think I would get drunk though to go to like, what's a museum in New York? I don't even know is there is natural history? Is that dinosaurs? Like, who the wants to see a leathery dinosaur on a Saturday? Like, what are we doing? Let's go to Pastis. It just like wouldn't be my ideal first day, but I mean, sometimes you just gotta like do things for the dick. This would be a situation where I fear it might be one of them. How many to post your screen time report on your story? I mean, what is my screen time? I woke up Sunday morning and I have limit restrictions on my screen time. I think someone took my phone Saturday night and put restrictions on my phone because all day today it was like, add time, add time. And I'm like, how do I fix this? Like, someone locked me out of TikTok in Instagram and all my fun apps. Who did that to me? I don't even know. How do you find screen time? And can I just preface, this is my job. I'm working. It says 13 hours and 6 minutes of screen time daily. Yesterday was 19 hours and 16 minutes. Are people even awake for that long. Like when did I sleep? When did I sleep? 19 hours. I didn't even know that there was there was that many hours in a day. Like what was I doing? Absolutely not. Okay, a lot of martinis. Choose to lean into to it. Every Mazda is engineered to give you effortless control.
- [31:04]
B
Awake Up Chime makes your everyday spending work harder by delivering real rewards and financial progress. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. Triumph is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.com/dirty that is chime.com extra dirty Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking Services the secured Chime Visa credit card in MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. MyPay eligibility requirements apply in credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+ status only. Otherwise 1.00% APY applies. No minimum balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms.
- [32:21]
C
How many just sit in the Front row of a Comedy Show? I've done this with my dear friend Grace. I I have sat front row, but I would, I would only do it like I told her I was like, do not call me out. Don't say anything, silly goose, because I will get really nervous. And I I do remember going to her show is amazing, by the way. And we had martinis and it was so much fun. But it's a comedy show. Like, you want to be like a little loose, like have a couple drinks. I would say three drinks. You don't want to be like making like a scene and be like a heckler at a comedy show either. Like you don't want to be like that bitch. But I would say three drinks to sit front row at a comedy show in case you do get called out. And then it'd be like, okay, like I can handle an answer and maybe be funny, but okay, how many to text him first after he ghosted you? 13.
- [33:13]
B
13?
- [33:14]
C
Or what's the limit? 10? It would take me a lot to do this. I'm usually pretty good about not doing this. Have I done it? Yes. I'm a girl. I have a vagina. I We've all been There builds lore. But I really try my adult life, as I'm almost a 30 year old woman, to try not to do this. Because if a guy goes to you, then, like, you can't, like, come back when I don't think, like, there's no world where you can be like, oh, like, I'm sorry. And it's just he's tainted now. It's like shattering a glass mirror. Like, you can put it back together, but there's still cracks everywhere. Like, you can't go back to that, but like, you learn that as you get older. Still though, if the dick is good, maybe 10 martinis, I would hit him up. But we try not to. No, I can't feel any part of my body. Like, they're. My blood is consolidating. How many? Until you want to start a fight for fun. Oh, like one. I do this all the time. And like, it's kind of like how I flirt kind of with men. I'm finding that it's just like more fun to like, argue and then like, you make up and then it's like cute and hot. But I think fighting with men is just like one of my favorite hobbies. Bad. I know, but like, it's just like nice to see them get worked up about something that, like, even if I'm with them, I'm like, I actually don't really care about this topic of conversation. Just like, fun to see, like, them get a little flustered. So one, I did this on Saturday with that freak. I was like, just picking a fight for no reason. And the next day I was like, I'm not actually. Like, I don't really care about. What are we even fighting about. I don't even know what we're fighting about, but I should probably stop that soon. But like, one martini. How many to go on a group date with your ex and his new girlfriend? Oh, my God, take me out in a stretcher. I would never want to do that. Also, I don't think they would want to do that. I would hate to be dating. I don't know. Like, imagine like you're dating my ex. Like, I would hate to be the ex because I just talk too much on here. Like, she probably sees clips and is like, I don't even know if my exes have girlfriends right now, honestly. But just like, I feel like they would see clips of me just dragging their current boyfriend and they'd be like this again. They probably have me blocked too. But I don't know. But yeah, I don't. It Would take a lot of alcohol, maybe some sedatives to. For me to be able to do this. Like, I don't remember the whole experience basically. How many let someone see your hidden folder in your photos? I don't think there's any amount of alcohol that would like let anyone see my hidden folder, my photos. Although I like don't really send nudes anymore since my hacker that calls me Harold or whatever the hacked into my. So I don't really have that. Anything too spicy. I'm more worried about like the conversations or things I've screenshotted of other people that I've sent to my other personal group chats. Just being like, what the is she wearing? Like blah blah. Like, you know, like normal. Like, you know, gospy shit. I'm more worried about that getting out there than anything else. But so like 10, maybe for like 30 seconds they could look, I'm a hidden boulder, but okay. How many to record a TikTok in the middle of a restaurant? 6. Like, it's funny because girls do this all the time. Like I go out to dinner with influencers pretty much every time I go out to dinner and sometimes they just don't give a fuck and they'll just like whip out their phone and just start recording. I. I'm actually on the other spectrum of it. I want to be better about recording in public. I just really couldn't record in the privacy of my own apartment. But I think some people lack a bit of social awareness. Like other people are at dinner. Like, we're trying to like enjoy like a fine dining experience. Like, not everything needs to be a tick tock in my opinion. But like, who am I to say? Like, Like I don't know, maybe it works for them, but I personally don't do that. But if it was like Taco Bell or something. Yeah, let's make the renegade tick tock. I don't care. But if it's a nice restaurant, I feel like there's no world or there's no amount of martinis where this should ever happen. I feel like you'd get kicked out, but. But yeah, how many? Until you start replying to everyone's IG stories. I was doing this Saturday to people I don't even know. Some people I didn't even. Like, I'm just being like, you look so fire. Like, where is that shirt from? Like, I don't even know what I was saying. Oh, it's bad. I was calling everyone sexy. Like it was really bad. Really, really bad. So how Many drinks did I have Saturday? Like 8. So I guess that's how many. How many to tell a guy I love you first? I don't think I would tell a guy I love you off alcohol. Maybe if I was, like, rolling. I've done that before where I'm, like, rolling on ecstasy and I just tell a guy I love them while we're having sex. But I feel like that's like, a universal experience. So, yeah, I don't think alcohol would make me do that, but something else would. Not that I do that, but it's been done before. Okay, that was a lovely segment. And now I want a martini for this next segment. Let's do. Let's wrap up the episode. Doing a quick Q A. Obviously, these are your guys's listening listener questions. I can't use words today, so I'm just gonna, like, answer them like I always do. Nothing's changed here.
- [38:47]
B
Okay.
- [38:47]
C
Describe yourself in three words. Hot bunny. Problem. Matic Chaos. Majestic, Perfect. Bad. Insane. Psychosis. I could keep going. Good head. This isn't an ask, but a tell. You have to go to Austin. Happiest place on earth. I've actually never been, but I've heard actually amazing things of Texas. But is Nashville in Texas? Nope. No. It's close, though. It's down there somewhere. What are your goals? Work, romance, routines. X. I need some reckless inspo. I guess I'm a reckless influencer in some ways. People have said that. I don't even, like, like to be claimed as an influencer, to be honest, because I have a lot of bad takes, but they're dishonest takes to me. And I'm never gonna, like, lie to, like, appease, like, the general population or the general public. Like, I'll. I'll, like, preface everything with. With what I am saying, with being like, hey, so this is probably really bad, but this is my honest truth, and this is my life, and this is what's true to me. I don't have, like, a lot of healthy routines. I sleep in a lot. I wake up, I do what I need to do, and then I'll go out a lot of nights of the week, and I party a lot. I stay out really late. I don't drink enough water, and amongst other things that I probably can't even name on here. But I used to do Pilates a lot. I have a lot of work goals. Like, obviously plateauing is my biggest fear in becoming irrelevant. That would never happen. But, like, you know, you just always want to be going on the up and up. You never want to like, be here. You never want to get too comfortable with where you are with work. I feel like I've been trying to just like challenge myself and push myself out of my comfort zone a lot. There's some fun new projects that are upcoming that I feel like I really push myself out of my comfort zone. I always like to be busy. I think the busier I am, the healthier my mind is. I'm just trying to find like a work life balance that is like, has some longevity because I just think that I'm gonna need to like, I'm sacrificing sleep right now and I can't do that forever. What else?
- [41:11]
B
Romance.
- [41:12]
C
I'm been always pretty consistent on my perspective of like my love life. I'm an extremely busy person, which I know sounds like a cop out, but I don't. It's gonna take someone like really special to like really be part of my life right now because I like really like my independence. But I do like crave romantic, you know, partnership sometimes. But like, I. I don't want everything that comes along with that because it is like a responsibility and it's like a lot of work. It's like watering a plant. And I don't have any plants in my apartment. Like, I don't know how to do that. I'm like, I can barely keep myself alive, let alone a plant, you know, so it's just something I would have to cater to. It would be something I would have to like, put my schedule. But I feel like if the right guy comes along, you know, I. I'm willing to like, wait for that. I don't believe in settling at all because I don't want to be getting divorced when I'm 45 and then, you know, starting to sag and. And then I'd like compete with a bunch of 25 year olds. Like, I don't want to do that. So while everything's high and tight right now, we will be patient and will we keep getting procedures. Okay. Choose to lean into it. Every Mazda is engineered to give you effortless control. Control. Awake up.
- [42:44]
E
When it's time to replace your appliances. Lowe's has you covered. Get up to 40% off. Select major appliances and members get more like free delivery, hallway, basic installation and parts, and a two year Lowe's protection plan. When you spend $2,500 or more on select major appliances. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid to 2, 225. Wall supplies. Last selection varies by location, excludes Massachusetts, Maryland, Wisconsin, New Jersey, Florida loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Visit lowe's.com terms for details subject to change.
- [43:16]
C
Brianna just texted me and she goes, your mom told me about karate. You need to go get your black belt for her. I'm screaming. Like, my routines really include like, brunch right now. Like, I'm a consistent brunger. Brunch, dinner, membership clubs. I know brunch hates me. I. I don't hate brunch. Brunch hates me. Which is why I blacked out at Pastis the other day, cussed everyone out, and then fell asleep in my jacket and boots at 3pm Woke up at 10:45, missed my dinner reservations. My girls night out had 19,000 missed calls. I love brunch. Brunch hates me. People thought I died, like, I could have in love with one of my best friends. Is there a way of moving on without ending the friendship? Like, is she a guy best friend or is this like a girl and girl situation? Like, I don't know, create space. I guess it just like, if you have feelings and the other person doesn't have feelings, you'll get over it. But only if you like, create space and then come back to it later when you were like really fully healed from it would be my suggestion. I've done that with guy friends before where, like, I'll have a crash, but like, crushes are fleeting and confusing. But if a guy's not like being like reciprocating it, then it's just like not worth your time, energy and like to get something and to get upset over it. So I would just create space. Would be my best plan of action. Tips for tasting good down there. Oh, wow. Let me play anything Lemmy. Let me ph. What's the Lemmy one that's good for your. Not me trying to get a brand deal right now. Lemmy vagina. Let me eat that. Let me eat that. Yeah, it's called Lemmy Purr. Lemme purr. It's perfect. No pun intended, but yeah, any Lemmy product is actually really good. But I think this actually does work. I know a lot of girls that take it. They also have lemme. There's a bedroom bundle. Let me purr and let me play those two together. You'll be hanging from the chandelier, tasting like popcorn. I don't even know cotton candy, but I think, yeah, that would be my best suggestion. But, like, it shouldn't really taste like anything crazy. Like, in my opinion, right? Like, you're not supposed to taste like Pineapples. Like, I. People say, like, drink a lot of pineapple juice.
- [45:55]
B
I don't really think that does anything.
- [45:57]
C
I think it's just supposed to be like, the. Right now, like, I can tell when a guy doesn't taste well. Like, if they're eating too much fast food. Like, that definitely contributed to whatever's coming out of there. And that's nasty. It's like that episode of Sex and the City when that guy had funky tasting spunk. Not chill, but anyways, next tips. There's a lot of this is about, like, going down on people. Tips on not giving a. About my toxic, manipulative ex being in a new relationship. Well, if he was toxic and manipulative towards you, then he is probably being toxic and nuts to the other girl. So just, like, let him. Let him be crazy and like. Like, it's her problem now and she'll probably find out the hard way. It. This sounds like a relief. Honestly, I wouldn't be like, these men. They're all toxic and manipulative. Tips on not giving a. I would just say distract yourself with other men. It works. Maybe it's not, like, the best plan of action, but, like, a good distraction will get you out of your head. Or, like, pick up knitting or something. I feel like I'm being repetitive. Okay. Tips to not be too much in your head when he's going down on you. Well, after you have your let me pray and let me play, you should just feel like you're coasting at that point. Also, like, I feel like girls have this, like, misconception that, like, guys are, like, grossed out by that or something. Trust me. Like, he's probably so happy to be there. He's probably so happy to be there in between your legs. Like, he's having the best time of his life, I promise you. And if he's not, then he's probably either gay or, like, 19. Like, doesn't know what he's doing. Like, doing, like, the ABC thing. Like. Like, some guys just, like, don't get it. But if he's not into doing that, like, I promise you, most guys aren't. If he's not, then kick him to the curb. But I don't think you should be in your head about it. I know a lot of people that are in their head about it, but, like, the more and more you do it, you're just like, whatever, stay down there. How do you get rid of a clingy man? Stop replying to them. I would just ignore a clingy man. Don't give him your address. You just say bye. I mean, I don't even know. I've had some clingy men in my day, but I just ghosted them. I feel like that's the only way to approach a clean man. They won't learn if you don't, you know, you can't reward bad behavior. I just like, clean men are like, that gives me the ick. It's not the vibes. Like, don't you have a job? What are we doing? Clinging. Go to work. Okay, last one. Would you rather have a threesome with two guys or a guy and another girl? It's a good question. I think probably a guy and a girl. I have done that many, many times. But I've always, like, wanted to, like, try two guys like, once. But I feel like that'd be over stimulating. Like, all the holes are just filled. Like, that's a lot. Like, how do you know? Like, how do you know? It's like the human centipede. Like, it's like you're literally filled up, like, every crevice of your body. Like, I would my. I think I would combust. Like, I would explode also. Like, are they looking at each other? Are they high fiving? Are they hugging? Like, I don't want them kissing each other. Then I'll get thrown off. Like, it's hot if it's two girls, but, like, if it's two guys and like, like, their dicks are out. Like, I don't just like, like, what's going on? Hello. But, like, yeah, I would do it. If I was, like, rolling Face, I would do it. Like, I would absolutely do that. But the opportunities never really present. I feel like that's something you do in college. Like, where, like, what are we gonna do that, like, after Zero Bond or something here? Like, like, I don't. I don't know what world that would happen unless I was, like, having an afters. But there's, like, not that many hawkeyes that want to, like, have penetrate me. I'm. I'll let you guys know when that happens. I'm sure it'll happen at some point. Not going to be, like, dreaming about this later. Maybe I'll, like, inquire with some men. But anyways, that was a fun, cute little episode. Guys. I. I've been doing so many solos recently, and like I said, they're kind of therapeutic. And it just gives me like, a, you know, a platform to, like, ramble on about and say whatever the. Is on the top of my mind a lot of it doesn't make sense I think. But yeah, this is fun and as obviously you can watch me on YouTube and then like subscribe, tell your friends, tell your mom, tell your dad to call me and yeah, love you all and I'll see you next week.
- [51:32]
F
Martha listens to her favorite band all the time. In the car, gym, even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them. Sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you. More Expedia made to travel Savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected Ever.
- [52:02]
A
Walk past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout? Envision the natural light streaming through the windows or plan where your vinyl record collection would go. At apartments.com you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home with Apartments.com, the place to find a place.
- [52:28]
D
Picture chicken nuggets in your head. Okay, now forget them because Taco Bell's crispy chicken nuggets are here. And they're nothing like the nuggets you know. All white meat chicken coated in tortilla chips for that signature Taco Bell crunch. A nugget like that calls for a sauce that can keep up. Introducing Hidden Valley Diablo Ranch, the iconic ranch you love, fired up with Taco Bell Diablo Sauce Bold meets Boulder Ranch meets Diablo. And it works. Crispy chicken nuggets from Taco Bell, a brand new classic at participating US Taco Bell locations for a limited time only while supplies last.