What if self-control isn’t mainly about saying no, but about keeping Christ at the center of what we desire?

Money has a way of revealing what our hearts are chasing. Our spending, saving, giving, and borrowing decisions often tell a deeper story about what we love, what we fear, and what we believe will satisfy us. That’s why biblical temperance is about far more than discipline or willpower.

In our continuing series on the cardinal virtues and how Christian character shapes the way we handle money, author and theologian Pierce Taylor Hibbs joined the show to help us consider temperance, or self-control.

He is a Senior Writer at Westminster Theological Seminary and the author of The Book of Giving: How the God Who Gives Can Make Us Givers. Today, he reminds us that self-control is not merely a human achievement. It is a gift of the Spirit that helps us enjoy God’s gifts without letting them take God’s place.

Self-Control Is a Heart Issue

When many people hear the word “self-control,” they think of willpower. They imagine discipline, restraint, or simply saying no to whatever they want in the moment.

But Scripture gives us a deeper picture.

Self-control is not merely a personality trait some people have and others lack. It is not gained by sheer determination. Instead, self-control is closely connected to the heart. A lack of self-control often reveals disordered desires—places where our hearts are chasing something other than God. The presence of self-control reveals a heart that is increasingly content in God and His promises.

That means temperance is not about rejecting every enjoyable thing in the world. It is about rightly ordering our loves. God must be first, and everything else must take its proper place beneath Him.

In other words, self-control is about keeping first things first.

A Gift of the Spirit

That truth should encourage us. If self-control were only a matter of willpower, many of us would have little hope. We have all experienced the frustration of trying harder, setting new goals, making new rules, and still falling back into the same habits.

But Galatians 5 tells us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It is something God produces in His people as we walk with Him.

That does not mean discipline is unimportant. Habits, boundaries, budgets, and accountability can all be helpful tools. But they are not the source of true self-control. The source is God Himself.

So when our desires are out of order, the first step is not merely to try harder. It is to turn to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to form in us what we cannot produce on our own. God has given us a new heart in Christ, and by His Spirit, He teaches us to desire what is good, lasting, and true.

Enjoying God’s Gifts Without Replacing Him

Temperance may involve restriction because our desires can easily become disordered. But restriction is not the goal. The goal is joy rightly ordered under Christ.

A simple example is something like coffee or sugar. There is nothing wrong with enjoying either. They can be good gifts from God. But if our world were to fall apart without them, that might reveal something about the state of our hearts.

The problem is not that we enjoy good things. The problem comes when we love those things more than we love our relationship with the Lord.

A helpful question to ask is: What is my heart chasing right now?

That question applies not only to food and drink, but also to money. What are our purchases chasing? Comfort? Control? Status? Escape? Approval? Security? Pleasure? None of those desires is unfamiliar to the human heart. And money often becomes the tool we use to pursue them.

Why Money Reveals Our Desires

Paul writes in 1 Timothy 6:10 that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.” The issue is not money itself but the heart’s relationship to it.

Jesus also warned that we cannot serve both God and money. Money is powerful because, in many ways, it functions like a key. It can unlock access to many of the things the heart desires—comfort, influence, experiences, possessions, pleasure, recognition, or a sense of control.

That is why our financial decisions are so revealing. They show what we are chasing.

Of course, money can be used in a good and God-honoring way. It can provide for needs, support a family, bless a neighbor, fund ministry, relieve suffering, and express worship through generosity. But money can also reveal that our hearts are running after something other than God.

Our spending decisions tell a story. The question is whether that story points to Christ as our greatest treasure.

The Challenge of a Consumer Culture

Financial self-control is especially challenging in a culture that constantly tells us to buy now, upgrade now, and satisfy every desire now.

Technology has made temptation more immediate than ever. Social media platforms and online ads are designed to place curated products directly in front of us. The very things we are most likely to want often appear in our feeds, inboxes, and search results.

That means our commitment to Christ is being tested constantly—not only by obviously sinful things, but also by good gifts that can quietly become ultimate things.

A vacation can be a gift. A home can be a gift. A hobby can be a gift. A meal, a phone, a car, a cup of coffee, or a new pair of shoes can all be received with gratitude. But when the gift becomes more captivating than the Giver, our desires have become disordered.

Temperance helps us receive God’s gifts with open hands, gratitude, and perspective.

Jesus Shows Us Perfect Self-Control

One beautiful picture of this comes after the resurrection in John 21.

The disciples had spent the night fishing and caught nothing. Jesus met them on the shore and neither rebuked them for fishing nor told them that physical things did not matter. Instead, He helped them find fish, prepared a fire, and invited them to breakfast.

Fresh fish and warm bread were not treated as distractions from spiritual life. They were gifts to be enjoyed with Jesus at the center.

That is a wonderful picture of temperance. Biblical self-control does not require us to reject every earthly blessing. It teaches us to enjoy every blessing in communion with Christ, remembering that He is better than the gifts He gives.

We do not need to abandon money or pretend material needs do not matter. But we do need to ask whether Christ remains central in how we earn, spend, save, give, and enjoy.

A Question for Every Financial Decision

So how can we practice temperance in our financial lives this week? One simple question can help: How is God remaining central in this decision?

That question does not produce a mechanical answer, but it does reveal the heart. It invites us to pause, pray, and consider whether our money is serving our love for God or competing with it.

Self-control is not the joyless denial of every good thing. It is the Spirit-given ability to enjoy God’s gifts without letting them replace God as our ultimate treasure.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

I’m 67, and my wife is 68. We have a traditional IRA, and I’m concerned that once RMDs begin at 73, the withdrawals could eventually push us—or my wife, if I pass first—into a higher tax bracket and increase Medicare premiums. What planning steps should we consider?
I’ve been overpaid on Social Security SSDI and am currently repaying it. Do I have to repay the full amount before I can switch to my regular Social Security retirement benefit?