Wanting to Believe: Re-Enrolling Each Other Into What's Possible

This episode came out of a conversation Chris had this week — and it hit him so clearly that he realized he and Melissa had never talked about it publicly before.

They've shared openly about the hard seasons in their marriage. They've taught frameworks for having honest, productive conversations about what isn't working. But in this episode, they talk about the missing piece that made all the difference when their marriage was at its lowest:

They started talking about what they wanted to create — before there was any evidence it was possible.

Chris shares how a couple he was advising had been doing "everything right" — having authentic conversations, communicating well, addressing issues — yet still felt stuck. And the realization was simple, but profound: they were only talking about what was broken… not what they believed could exist on the other side.

Melissa takes the conversation deeper, sharing a moment from their own marriage when there was absolutely no evidence that things would improve. No proof. No results. No momentum. And yet, she chose to hold onto something smaller, but powerful: the desire to believe a miracle could happen.

They talk about faith — not as certainty, but as willingness. Wanting to believe, even when belief feels impossible. And how that willingness created the foundation for real change.

Throughout the episode, Chris and Melissa reflect on how repeatedly re-enrolling each other into a shared vision — "I want to be married to you. I want our marriage to be amazing. I believe we can create something beautiful together." — slowly shifted the trajectory of their relationship.

This isn't about ignoring what's not working. It's about balancing honest conversations with intentional vision-casting. Because if the only seeds you plant are about what you don't want, that's exactly what keeps growing.

If your marriage feels stuck… if you're tired… if belief feels hard — this episode is an invitation to start where they did:

You don't have to fully believe. You just have to be willing to want to.

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Episode Minute By Minute:

00:00 – Chris introduces an unexpected episode topic
01:10 – Why they've never talked about this before
02:15 – Authentic Conversations vs. vision-casting
03:15 – Asking the question: "What are you trying to create?"
04:05 – Melissa reflects on their separation
05:10 – Faith when there is no evidence
06:10 – "Wanting to believe" as the starting point
07:25 – The scripture story and "help my unbelief"
08:40 – Talking about what's possible before it's possible
09:50 – Planting seeds through language and vision
10:55 – When you don't know what a good marriage looks like
11:50 – Looking for models and borrowed belief
12:45 – Re-enrolling each other during hard seasons
13:40 – Choosing to be on the same team
14:30 – Final encouragement: start with wanting to believe

250. Wanting to Believe: The Marriage Shift That Changes Everything