Podcast
Family IT Guy Podcast
Hosted by Family IT Guy · EN
Ben Gillenwater helps families protect children from digital dangers, bringing 30 years of cybersecurity expertise to the parenting journey. His background includes working with the NSA and serving as Chief Technologist of a $10 billion IT company, where he built global-scale systems and understood technology's risks at every level.
His mission began when he gave his young son an iPad with "kid-safe" apps—only to discover inappropriate content days later. Despite his deep technical background, Ben realized that if protecting children online was challenging for him, it must be even more difficult for parents without his expertise.
Through Family IT Guy, Ben creates videos and articles that help parents and kids learn how to leverage the positive parts of the internet while avoiding the dangerous and risky parts. His approach bridges the knowledge gap between complex technology and practical family protection, making digital safety accessible to everyone.
28episodes
Episodes
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Porn: The Conversation That Protects Your Kids | Chris McKenna
2w ago01:13:05Tap to summarizeHow do you talk to your kids about pornography before the internet does it for them? Chris McKenna founded Protect Young Eyes to help parents answer exactly that, and his approach surprises most people: the fix is not a better filter. It is a braver and more frequent conversation. Most of us are scared of this talk, so we put it off, and putting it off is the one move that leaves a kid alone with whatever they find. Chris makes the case for the opposite. Make the conversation normal. Start early, keep it casual, have it often, so your kid runs to you when something feels wrong instead of hiding it. Shine light on the topic. We get into the number that stopped me cold. In every child-on-child case the counselors Chris interviewed had handled that year, the child who had harmed another had been exposed to pornography early in childhood. We talk about why a young brain has no "file" for what it is seeing, then we get practical: ten conversations before age 10, the porn talk you can have in the car without ever saying the word "porn", and how to make yourself the person your kid comes to. MORE FROM CHRIS McKENNA Order his book, 5 Habits of the Tech-Ready Family (out June 16 2026): https://www.techreadyfamily.com Protect Young Eyes: https://protectyoungeyes.com Digital parenting coaching, The Table: https://protectyoungeyes.com/the-table The Ultimate Guide to Understanding Routers: https://www.protectyoungeyes.com/devices/the-ultimate-guide-to-understanding-routers CHAPTERS 0:00 Welcome 1:05 How Chris got into this 10:39 The realities of porn today 20:04 Young brains can't process it 21:28 The 100% statistic 24:00 Make Porn the Norm (the reframe) 28:14 10 before 10 30:28 Where kids really see it 35:11 How to actually have the talk 43:42 Porn isn't real sex 57:31 The one fix at Apple SOURCES The 100% figure is from Chris McKenna's interviews with counselors at Children's Assessment Centers, which work with both the child who was harmed and the child who caused harm. More on his research at https://protectyoungeyes.com ABOUT CHRIS McKENNA Chris is the founder of Protect Young Eyes and president of The Better Tech Project. He testified before the U.S. Senate in 2019, co-authored the Child Device Protection Bill that is now law in Utah and Alabama, and is featured in the documentary Childhood 2.0. Publishers Weekly calls his new book "comprehensive," "illuminating," and "an informative resource for parents eager to establish digital safety nets for their children." ABOUT FAMILY IT GUY Ben Gillenwater is a cybersecurity expert and dad who helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication. #digitalparenting #onlinesafety #pornography #raisingkids #parentingtips #protectyoungeyes #screentime #familyitguy
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Apple iOS just made kids’ phones safer.
3w ago00:02:45Tap to summarizeFor years, giving a child their first phone meant starting with a device designed for adults and then trying to lock it down afterward. Apple just announced a major shift. With iOS 27, kids' devices can start as a blank slate—no wide-open access, no endless game of chasing settings and blocking apps after the fact. Parents decide what gets added and when. This is how child-safe technology should work: parental authority first, access second. It's also a reminder that protecting kids online doesn't require invasive age-verification systems or sacrificing privacy. Good design can solve a lot of problems before lawmakers try to. Apple deserves credit for raising the bar on both privacy and parental controls. Would you feel more comfortable giving your child a phone if it started locked down by default? #Apple #iOS27 #OnlineSafety #DigitalParenting #FamilyITGuy
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The Hidden Risk of Instagram’s New Instants Feature
3w ago00:03:37Tap to summarizeMeta's new Instants feature has drawn comparisons to Snapchat for one simple reason: both are built around disappearing photos and messages. For parents, the important question isn't which app your child is using—it's whether they understand how these features actually work. Platforms market disappearing content as temporary, but "disappearing" doesn't mean private. Content can be screenshotted, screen-recorded, photographed with another device, shared, and in many cases retained by the platform itself. The technology may make content less visible, but it doesn't make it disappear from the internet. In this video, I look at why Meta is embracing a Snapchat-style feature despite ongoing concerns about youth safety online, what parents should know about supervision tools, and why digital literacy is a more effective long-term strategy than relying on app settings alone. The most valuable lesson we can teach kids is not which apps to fear, but how to think critically about privacy, permanence, and the business models behind the platforms they use every day. I'm Ben, the Family IT Guy—a dad and cybersecurity expert with 30 years of experience helping families navigate social media, smartphones, AI, parental controls, and online safety. Subscribe for practical advice on raising tech-smart kids in a digital world.
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Age Verification Laws Explained: Why They Won’t Protect Kids
4w ago00:07:49Tap to summarizeAge verification laws are spreading fast, and the "prove your age to use the internet" approach will make every family less safe, not more. Governments across the US and around the world want everyone to prove their identity before going online. In places like California, that's moving down to the operating-system level, so you'd have to verify who you are just to use your own computer. It sounds like a reasonable way to protect kids. It isn't. To check your age online, a company has to collect your ID, verify it, store it, and tie it to what you do. Once that data exists, it lives under whatever the rules happen to be at any given moment, forever. History already showed us how that goes. In 1940 the US Census promised confidentiality; two years later the government canceled that promise, handed over Japanese American families' names and addresses, and sent 120,000 people to internment camps. In 1998, COPPA (the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) was meant to protect kids online, and instead it gave companies a reason to never build kid-safe products in the first place. So the real fix isn't more databases. It's skills. Parents who understand how the internet works can lead by example and pass that on to their kids. You can't uncollect data, which is exactly why the only real protection is to not collect it in the first place. Read the full Declaration of Principles on the protection of children, families, and freedom in the digital age: https://www.familyitguy.com/declaration-of-principles CHAPTERS 0:00 The age verification laws coming for everyone 0:39 How online age checks work 1:18 What we want for our kids (the Declaration) 2:09 1940: a privacy promise broken (the Census) 3:38 1998: how COPPA backfired 5:31 What actually changes behavior 6:09 The real fix: skills, not surveillance 6:58 You can't uncollect data 7:16 The one question to always ask 7:37 Your turn SOURCES AND FURTHER READING 1940 Census and Japanese internment: - Scientific American, confirmed Census disclosure: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/confirmed-the-us-census-b/ - National Archives, Japanese-American Incarceration: https://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/japanese-relocation - The Second War Powers Act (1942), which suspended census confidentiality: https://www.govinfo.gov/app/details/STATUTE-56/STATUTE-56-Pg176 COPPA: - FTC, Children's Online Privacy Protection Rule (COPPA): https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/childrens-online-privacy-protection-rule-coppa - FTC, Google/YouTube $170M COPPA settlement: https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2019/09/google-youtube-will-pay-record-170-million-alleged-violations-childrens-privacy-law What actually reduced youth smoking: - CDC, adult cigarette smoking data (42% to 11%): https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/php/data-statistics/adult-data-cigarettes/index.html - Levy et al. (Georgetown), SimSmoke policy analysis: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4801780/ - Farrelly et al., "truth" campaign dose-response: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1449196/ LISTEN TO THE FAMILY IT GUY PODCAST YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe_GB8g05M6PyRj4OLhD1LF1x_6vEK-Lc Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g ABOUT I'm Ben, the Family IT Guy. I help parents handle the two biggest digital dangers facing their kids: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication (and the ways AI is making both worse). Website: https://www.familyitguy.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theFamilyITGuy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/family_it_guy/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@family.it.guy #AgeVerification #OnlineSafety #DigitalParenting #KidsOnline #OnlinePrivacy
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Your Kids Are Not the Customer. They’re the Product.
May 3000:05:14Tap to summarizeOne of the most important skills parents can teach kids today is how to think critically about business models. Because if kids don’t understand how internet companies make money, they can’t fully understand what these platforms are designed to do. In this video, I break down: • Why “free” apps are never actually free • How social media companies really make money • Why attention is the product being sold • How addictive algorithms are designed • Why platforms optimize for “eyeball time” • How understanding incentives helps kids stay safer online Companies like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Google, and others are often framed as tech companies or social platforms. But in reality, most of them are advertising companies. Their business model depends on maximizing your attention so they can sell ads. That changes how we should think about screen time, social media, and digital parenting. If we want kids to navigate the internet safely, we need to help them understand what they’re actually engaging with. More resources: familyitguy.com Chapters 00:00 Why Understanding Business Models Matters 00:25 What a Business Model Actually Is 00:50 How Traditional Businesses Measure Success 01:43 Why “Free” Internet Products Aren’t Free 02:14 The Real Product Social Media Companies Sell 02:54 How Addictive Algorithms Work 03:28 Why You Are the Product 03:52 Looking at SEC Reports 04:43 Why Kids Need This Skill Subscribe for practical digital parenting advice grounded in cybersecurity and real-world experience.
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The Two Biggest Online Threats to Kids Right Now.
May 2900:05:34Tap to summarizeIf you're new here, welcome. My name is Ben Gillenwater, also known as The Family IT Guy. I’m a dad and a cybersecurity expert with 30 years of experience, and my mission is simple: help families keep kids safe online while raising healthy, capable humans in a digital world. In this video, I break down the two biggest online threats facing kids today: • Addictive algorithms • Anonymous online chat These systems are not accidental. Social media platforms are intentionally designed to maximize attention, and anonymous messaging creates environments where predators, criminal networks, and dangerous influences can reach children at scale. But this video is not about fear. It’s about understanding what matters most and focusing on practical solutions that actually help families: • Education over panic • Skills over rules • Community over isolation • Leading by example as parents I also share the free resources available through Family IT Guy, including: • Articles and conversation guides • My podcast with psychologists, detectives, and parenting experts • My “boring iPhone” setup guide for kids • The Being meditation app • The Family IT Guy community This is a complicated time for parents, but you do not have to figure it out alone. Resources: www.familyitguy.com Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 00:20 Why This Work Matters 00:40 The Two Core Problems 01:14 How Addictive Algorithms Work 01:35 Anonymous Chat and Online Predators 02:04 Why This Matters for Every Family 02:41 Skills vs Rules 03:14 Leading by Example as Parents 04:08 Hope for the Next Generation 04:18 Free Resources for Families 05:15 Questions From the Community Subscribe for practical guidance on parenting, technology, and online safety.
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The Dark Truth About Snapchat Parents Aren’t Being Told
May 2900:03:50Tap to summarizeThis video is dedicated to Avery, a 15-year-old boy who died after buying MDMA through Snapchat. Avery grew up with strong boundaries around technology. Waldorf education. Outdoor adventures. Shared screen time rules. Minimal exposure to social media. But once Snapchat entered the picture in high school, everything changed. Within a year, Avery bought drugs from a local dealer through the app. He took too much and died on December 19, 2024. I spoke with Avery’s dad, Aaron, who asked me to share this story so other families don’t experience the same loss. This is not an isolated case. According to the DEA, 76% of investigated youth drug-buying cases involved Snapchat. Internal company documents have also shown that dealers prefer disappearing-message platforms because they make detection harder. In this video, I break down: • Why Snapchat is different from what most parents think • How social media platforms enable dangerous behavior • Why “everyone else has it” is not a good reason • What actually helps protect kids online • Why removing social media often strengthens real friendships • Tools like the Bark Phone that can help parents monitor risk Watch my conversation with Mike McLeod here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJU9u68PNt8 For more resources, visit: www.familyitguy.com Search “Snapchat” on the site for additional articles and tools. Chapters: 00:00 Avery’s Story 01:11 Why Snapchat Is Different 02:18 The DEA Investigation 03:04 What Actually Protects Kids 04:08 Are Snapchat Friendships Real? 05:08 Why Boundaries Matter 05:47 Tools That Can Help Parents Check out the @BarkTechnologies phone here: https://www.familyitguy.com/go/bark
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If You Use AI for Therapy Watch This
May 1200:05:15Tap to summarizeA growing number of adults and teens are using AI chatbots for therapy, emotional support, advice, and difficult conversations. Some people say it helps them feel less alone. Others are relying on it daily for mental health guidance. But there’s a major problem most people are missing: AI can sound caring, wise, and authoritative without actually understanding you, your situation, or the consequences of its advice. In this video, I break down: • Why people are turning to AI for therapy • The benefits people are experiencing • The serious risks parents need to understand • The privacy tradeoffs nobody talks about • The dangerous “human-like” illusion of AI • Why skepticism matters more than fear • The exact custom instructions I recommend using with AI systems I also discuss the tragic case referenced in current litigation involving a teen and an AI chatbot, and what it reveals about the limitations of these systems. My goal is not panic or blind trust. It’s helping families understand what these tools are, where they help, where they fail, and how to use them responsibly. Read the full article and copy the custom AI instructions here: https://www.familyitguy.com/ai-therapy-custom-instructions.html #AI #MentalHealth #Parenting #ChatGPT #AITherapy #DigitalParenting #Technology #CyberSafety #OnlineSafety #FamilyITGuy
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Why We Removed Phones From Our Bedrooms (And What Changed Immediately)
May 700:03:02Tap to summarizeIf you are trying to keep your kids safer online, this is where I would start: keep internet-connected devices out of bedrooms. Bedrooms should be calm places. Places for sleep, rest, conversation, quiet, and recovery. But phones, tablets, gaming systems, and social media feeds bring noise into that space — not just sound noise, but mental and emotional noise. In this video, I explain why removing devices from bedrooms has been one of the most impactful digital changes in our home, both for us as parents and for our kids. We talk about: • Why internet-connected bedrooms affect sleep and mental health • How phones quietly pull attention even when they are not being used • Why kids are more vulnerable online late at night • The connection between bedrooms, boundaries, and digital safety • Why parents need to model this behavior first • How our family handles phones, tablets, school devices, gaming systems, and smartwatches at night One of the biggest surprises for my wife and me was how different our bedroom felt the very first night we removed our phones. The room immediately felt calmer, quieter, and more connected. That same calm matters even more for kids. Our family rule is simple: Bedrooms are for rest. The internet sleeps somewhere else. If you want the chargers, alarm clocks, and other gear we use in our home, go to: https://www.familyitguy.com/no-internet-in-bedrooms.html #digitalparenting #internetsafety #parenting #screentime #familytech #onlineSafety #cybersecurity #mentalhealth #phones #socialmedia
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How to Remove Hidden Data From Your Photos
Apr 3000:05:06Tap to summarizeMost people crop photos for aesthetics. Few realize that every photo can also contain hidden metadata. When you take a picture on your phone, it may include location data, timestamps, device information, camera details, and other digital markers that create a larger story over time. In this video, I break down a simple privacy habit that takes less than a minute but can reduce how much information you share online. You’ll learn how to: • Crop out identifying details in the background • Remove location metadata before posting • Adjust timestamps for added privacy when needed • Reduce the digital trail your photos create over time One photo may seem harmless, but years of uploaded images can reveal routines, locations, travel habits, and personal patterns. Perfect privacy online doesn’t exist, but small habits can make a meaningful difference. Before posting to social media, texting photos, or uploading images to AI tools, take a second look at what your photo may be sharing behind the scenes. Chapters: 00:00 Why photo privacy matters 00:25 What metadata is hidden in photos 01:05 How to remove location data 02:00 Why timestamps matter 03:15 How companies connect photo data 04:10 Simple privacy habits to use daily Keywords: photo metadata, remove metadata from photos, digital privacy tips, online privacy, photo privacy settings, remove location from photos, hidden data in photos, smartphone privacy, metadata explained, internet privacy tips, AI photo privacy, cybersecurity tips Hashtags: #DigitalPrivacy #PhotoPrivacy #Metadata #CyberSafety #OnlineSafety #DataPrivacy #InternetSafety #TechTips #FamilyITGuy
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