Podcast
Family IT Guy Podcast
Hosted by Family IT Guy · EN
Ben Gillenwater helps families protect children from digital dangers, bringing 30 years of cybersecurity expertise to the parenting journey. His background includes working with the NSA and serving as Chief Technologist of a $10 billion IT company, where he built global-scale systems and understood technology's risks at every level.
His mission began when he gave his young son an iPad with "kid-safe" apps—only to discover inappropriate content days later. Despite his deep technical background, Ben realized that if protecting children online was challenging for him, it must be even more difficult for parents without his expertise.
Through Family IT Guy, Ben creates videos and articles that help parents and kids learn how to leverage the positive parts of the internet while avoiding the dangerous and risky parts. His approach bridges the knowledge gap between complex technology and practical family protection, making digital safety accessible to everyone.
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Age Verification Laws Explained: Why They Won’t Protect Kids
6d ago00:07:49Tap to summarizeAge verification laws are spreading fast, and the "prove your age to use the internet" approach will make every family less safe, not more. Governments across the US and around the world want everyone to prove their identity before going online. In places like California, that's moving down to the operating-system level, so you'd have to verify who you are just to use your own computer. It sounds like a reasonable way to protect kids. It isn't. To check your age online, a company has to collect your ID, verify it, store it, and tie it to what you do. Once that data exists, it lives under whatever the rules happen to be at any given moment, forever. History already showed us how that goes. In 1940 the US Census promised confidentiality; two years later the government canceled that promise, handed over Japanese American families' names and addresses, and sent 120,000 people to internment camps. In 1998, COPPA (the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) was meant to protect kids online, and instead it gave companies a reason to never build kid-safe products in the first place. So the real fix isn't more databases. It's skills. Parents who understand how the internet works can lead by example and pass that on to their kids. You can't uncollect data, which is exactly why the only real protection is to not collect it in the first place. Read the full Declaration of Principles on the protection of children, families, and freedom in the digital age: https://www.familyitguy.com/declaration-of-principles CHAPTERS 0:00 The age verification laws coming for everyone 0:39 How online age checks work 1:18 What we want for our kids (the Declaration) 2:09 1940: a privacy promise broken (the Census) 3:38 1998: how COPPA backfired 5:31 What actually changes behavior 6:09 The real fix: skills, not surveillance 6:58 You can't uncollect data 7:16 The one question to always ask 7:37 Your turn SOURCES AND FURTHER READING 1940 Census and Japanese internment: - Scientific American, confirmed Census disclosure: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/confirmed-the-us-census-b/ - National Archives, Japanese-American Incarceration: https://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/japanese-relocation - The Second War Powers Act (1942), which suspended census confidentiality: https://www.govinfo.gov/app/details/STATUTE-56/STATUTE-56-Pg176 COPPA: - FTC, Children's Online Privacy Protection Rule (COPPA): https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/childrens-online-privacy-protection-rule-coppa - FTC, Google/YouTube $170M COPPA settlement: https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2019/09/google-youtube-will-pay-record-170-million-alleged-violations-childrens-privacy-law What actually reduced youth smoking: - CDC, adult cigarette smoking data (42% to 11%): https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/php/data-statistics/adult-data-cigarettes/index.html - Levy et al. (Georgetown), SimSmoke policy analysis: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4801780/ - Farrelly et al., "truth" campaign dose-response: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1449196/ LISTEN TO THE FAMILY IT GUY PODCAST YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe_GB8g05M6PyRj4OLhD1LF1x_6vEK-Lc Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g ABOUT I'm Ben, the Family IT Guy. I help parents handle the two biggest digital dangers facing their kids: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication (and the ways AI is making both worse). Website: https://www.familyitguy.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theFamilyITGuy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/family_it_guy/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@family.it.guy #AgeVerification #OnlineSafety #DigitalParenting #KidsOnline #OnlinePrivacy
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Your Kids Are Not the Customer. They’re the Product.
1w ago00:05:14Tap to summarizeOne of the most important skills parents can teach kids today is how to think critically about business models. Because if kids don’t understand how internet companies make money, they can’t fully understand what these platforms are designed to do. In this video, I break down: • Why “free” apps are never actually free • How social media companies really make money • Why attention is the product being sold • How addictive algorithms are designed • Why platforms optimize for “eyeball time” • How understanding incentives helps kids stay safer online Companies like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Google, and others are often framed as tech companies or social platforms. But in reality, most of them are advertising companies. Their business model depends on maximizing your attention so they can sell ads. That changes how we should think about screen time, social media, and digital parenting. If we want kids to navigate the internet safely, we need to help them understand what they’re actually engaging with. More resources: familyitguy.com Chapters 00:00 Why Understanding Business Models Matters 00:25 What a Business Model Actually Is 00:50 How Traditional Businesses Measure Success 01:43 Why “Free” Internet Products Aren’t Free 02:14 The Real Product Social Media Companies Sell 02:54 How Addictive Algorithms Work 03:28 Why You Are the Product 03:52 Looking at SEC Reports 04:43 Why Kids Need This Skill Subscribe for practical digital parenting advice grounded in cybersecurity and real-world experience.
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The Two Biggest Online Threats to Kids Right Now.
1w ago00:05:34Tap to summarizeIf you're new here, welcome. My name is Ben Gillenwater, also known as The Family IT Guy. I’m a dad and a cybersecurity expert with 30 years of experience, and my mission is simple: help families keep kids safe online while raising healthy, capable humans in a digital world. In this video, I break down the two biggest online threats facing kids today: • Addictive algorithms • Anonymous online chat These systems are not accidental. Social media platforms are intentionally designed to maximize attention, and anonymous messaging creates environments where predators, criminal networks, and dangerous influences can reach children at scale. But this video is not about fear. It’s about understanding what matters most and focusing on practical solutions that actually help families: • Education over panic • Skills over rules • Community over isolation • Leading by example as parents I also share the free resources available through Family IT Guy, including: • Articles and conversation guides • My podcast with psychologists, detectives, and parenting experts • My “boring iPhone” setup guide for kids • The Being meditation app • The Family IT Guy community This is a complicated time for parents, but you do not have to figure it out alone. Resources: www.familyitguy.com Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 00:20 Why This Work Matters 00:40 The Two Core Problems 01:14 How Addictive Algorithms Work 01:35 Anonymous Chat and Online Predators 02:04 Why This Matters for Every Family 02:41 Skills vs Rules 03:14 Leading by Example as Parents 04:08 Hope for the Next Generation 04:18 Free Resources for Families 05:15 Questions From the Community Subscribe for practical guidance on parenting, technology, and online safety.
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The Dark Truth About Snapchat Parents Aren’t Being Told
1w ago00:03:50Tap to summarizeThis video is dedicated to Avery, a 15-year-old boy who died after buying MDMA through Snapchat. Avery grew up with strong boundaries around technology. Waldorf education. Outdoor adventures. Shared screen time rules. Minimal exposure to social media. But once Snapchat entered the picture in high school, everything changed. Within a year, Avery bought drugs from a local dealer through the app. He took too much and died on December 19, 2024. I spoke with Avery’s dad, Aaron, who asked me to share this story so other families don’t experience the same loss. This is not an isolated case. According to the DEA, 76% of investigated youth drug-buying cases involved Snapchat. Internal company documents have also shown that dealers prefer disappearing-message platforms because they make detection harder. In this video, I break down: • Why Snapchat is different from what most parents think • How social media platforms enable dangerous behavior • Why “everyone else has it” is not a good reason • What actually helps protect kids online • Why removing social media often strengthens real friendships • Tools like the Bark Phone that can help parents monitor risk Watch my conversation with Mike McLeod here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJU9u68PNt8 For more resources, visit: www.familyitguy.com Search “Snapchat” on the site for additional articles and tools. Chapters: 00:00 Avery’s Story 01:11 Why Snapchat Is Different 02:18 The DEA Investigation 03:04 What Actually Protects Kids 04:08 Are Snapchat Friendships Real? 05:08 Why Boundaries Matter 05:47 Tools That Can Help Parents Check out the @BarkTechnologies phone here: https://www.familyitguy.com/go/bark
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If You Use AI for Therapy Watch This
4w ago00:05:15Tap to summarizeA growing number of adults and teens are using AI chatbots for therapy, emotional support, advice, and difficult conversations. Some people say it helps them feel less alone. Others are relying on it daily for mental health guidance. But there’s a major problem most people are missing: AI can sound caring, wise, and authoritative without actually understanding you, your situation, or the consequences of its advice. In this video, I break down: • Why people are turning to AI for therapy • The benefits people are experiencing • The serious risks parents need to understand • The privacy tradeoffs nobody talks about • The dangerous “human-like” illusion of AI • Why skepticism matters more than fear • The exact custom instructions I recommend using with AI systems I also discuss the tragic case referenced in current litigation involving a teen and an AI chatbot, and what it reveals about the limitations of these systems. My goal is not panic or blind trust. It’s helping families understand what these tools are, where they help, where they fail, and how to use them responsibly. Read the full article and copy the custom AI instructions here: https://www.familyitguy.com/ai-therapy-custom-instructions.html #AI #MentalHealth #Parenting #ChatGPT #AITherapy #DigitalParenting #Technology #CyberSafety #OnlineSafety #FamilyITGuy
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Why We Removed Phones From Our Bedrooms (And What Changed Immediately)
May 700:03:02Tap to summarizeIf you are trying to keep your kids safer online, this is where I would start: keep internet-connected devices out of bedrooms. Bedrooms should be calm places. Places for sleep, rest, conversation, quiet, and recovery. But phones, tablets, gaming systems, and social media feeds bring noise into that space — not just sound noise, but mental and emotional noise. In this video, I explain why removing devices from bedrooms has been one of the most impactful digital changes in our home, both for us as parents and for our kids. We talk about: • Why internet-connected bedrooms affect sleep and mental health • How phones quietly pull attention even when they are not being used • Why kids are more vulnerable online late at night • The connection between bedrooms, boundaries, and digital safety • Why parents need to model this behavior first • How our family handles phones, tablets, school devices, gaming systems, and smartwatches at night One of the biggest surprises for my wife and me was how different our bedroom felt the very first night we removed our phones. The room immediately felt calmer, quieter, and more connected. That same calm matters even more for kids. Our family rule is simple: Bedrooms are for rest. The internet sleeps somewhere else. If you want the chargers, alarm clocks, and other gear we use in our home, go to: https://www.familyitguy.com/no-internet-in-bedrooms.html #digitalparenting #internetsafety #parenting #screentime #familytech #onlineSafety #cybersecurity #mentalhealth #phones #socialmedia
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How to Remove Hidden Data From Your Photos
Apr 3000:05:06Tap to summarizeMost people crop photos for aesthetics. Few realize that every photo can also contain hidden metadata. When you take a picture on your phone, it may include location data, timestamps, device information, camera details, and other digital markers that create a larger story over time. In this video, I break down a simple privacy habit that takes less than a minute but can reduce how much information you share online. You’ll learn how to: • Crop out identifying details in the background • Remove location metadata before posting • Adjust timestamps for added privacy when needed • Reduce the digital trail your photos create over time One photo may seem harmless, but years of uploaded images can reveal routines, locations, travel habits, and personal patterns. Perfect privacy online doesn’t exist, but small habits can make a meaningful difference. Before posting to social media, texting photos, or uploading images to AI tools, take a second look at what your photo may be sharing behind the scenes. Chapters: 00:00 Why photo privacy matters 00:25 What metadata is hidden in photos 01:05 How to remove location data 02:00 Why timestamps matter 03:15 How companies connect photo data 04:10 Simple privacy habits to use daily Keywords: photo metadata, remove metadata from photos, digital privacy tips, online privacy, photo privacy settings, remove location from photos, hidden data in photos, smartphone privacy, metadata explained, internet privacy tips, AI photo privacy, cybersecurity tips Hashtags: #DigitalPrivacy #PhotoPrivacy #Metadata #CyberSafety #OnlineSafety #DataPrivacy #InternetSafety #TechTips #FamilyITGuy
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How Predators Went From Playgrounds to Your Kid’s Phone
Apr 1101:21:21Tap to summarizeMike Lemon investigates crimes against children for a living. He's done it for over 20 years. He trains 5,000 parents a year on what he's learned. He still built layered defenses for his own kids' devices, because he knows no child can handle a professional predator alone. We talked for almost 90 minutes. AI sextortion, how Snapchat was really designed, the evolution from physical predation to online operations, his family's actual phone contract, and a conversation framework I keep coming back to. 0:00 Introduction 2:03 The man in the van 5:48 Computer forensics training 8:42 Physical abuse vs. online predation 11:41 The screams that stay with you 13:07 When predators face justice 20:03 Trust a predator to be a predator 23:09 From parks to phones 25:58 The "I'm Sorry" Scam 29:07 Sextortion at scale 35:24 Make your kids' accounts private 36:23 AI sextortion and Eli Hecock 40:07 The family contract 43:17 The whitelist approach 46:49 How Snapchat was really designed 56:16 Social media and suicide data 59:26 COPPA and enforcement 1:03:25 The one app for parents 1:09:59 Same side of the table 1:17:52 Every app is a new window 1:19:41 Advice for kids Det. Mike Lemon | ICAC Detective, 20+ years | CyberSafeSchool.org https://www.cybersafeschool.org Family IT Guy: https://www.familyitguy.com iPhone Setup Guide: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-setup-guide
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Meta to pay $375 million for knowingly putting children in danger on Facebook and Instagram.
Mar 2600:03:08Tap to summarizeA New Mexico jury ordered Meta to pay $375 million for knowingly putting children in danger on Facebook and Instagram. It's being called a historic win, but is it really a win for kids? In this video, I break down exactly what happened in court, what evidence the jury saw, and most importantly, what's coming next and why the proposed "solutions" may actually make things worse for your family. Chapters: 0:00 — The $375M Meta Verdict 0:45 — What Evidence the Jury Saw 1:30 — 500,000 Cases a Day: Meta's Own Numbers 2:15 — Who Actually Gets the Money 3:00 — Why the Proposed "Solutions" Are a Problem 4:15 — What Courts, Meta and Government Can't Fix 5:00 — What YOU Can Do Right Now Courts won't fix this. Meta won't fix this. The government won't fix this. This is on us. Start here 👇 📱 iPhone? Use Screen Time (free) (http://familyitguy.com/go/iphoneguide) 📱 Android? Use Family Link (free) 📲 Want a phone built for families? Try the Bark Phone: https://www.familyitguy.com/go/bark www.familyitguy.com
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Age Verification Laws Won’t Protect Your Kids Online (Here’s What Will)
Mar 1300:05:04Tap to summarizeAt least 20 states are pushing bills that claim to protect your kids online. I've read them. I testified against one in South Dakota. The problems they're trying to solve are real. The bills don't solve them. I'm Ben Gillenwater — dad, cybersecurity expert, 30 years in the field. In this video I break down exactly what these laws would actually do, why the last major child safety law passed in 1998 made things worse, and why the most powerful protection for your kid isn't in a state capitol. It's in your house. The two things that actually put your kid in danger online: → Addictive algorithms engineered like slot machines → Anonymous strangers who can reach your child through games, apps, and messaging Online enticement reports to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children went from 186,000 in 2023 to over one million in 2025. Laws didn't stop that. And the ones being proposed won't either. Rules expire. Skills don't. That's what this channel is about. 📱 Step-by-step iPhone safety guide: http://familyitguy.com/go/iphoneguide 🔔 Subscribe for the full series 📤 Send this to a parent who needs to hear it
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