Podcast
Flying Free
Hosted by Natalie Hoffman · EN
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
34episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
How Children are Impacted by Emotional Abuse - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 7 [362]
Jan 1300:43:24Tap to summarizeIf you've been told that staying married "for the kids" is the most loving choice you can make, this episode will challenge everything you thought you knew about protecting your children.The truth is, emotional and spiritual abuse doesn't just harm you, it rewires your children's brains, damages their attachment systems, and poisons their relationship with God. Research shows that staying in a high-conflict, abusive marriage can be up to 10 times more damaging to children than divorce. And when abuse is wrapped in religious language, the harm multiplies. Your kids aren't just losing safety, they're losing their ability to experience God as loving and trustworthy.🔑 Key Takeaways:Emotional abuse causes documented brain changes in children: Studies show literal changes in brain development, delays in developmental milestones, and difficulty processing positive feedback.Children don't have to be direct targets to be harmed: Simply living in an environment of coercive control, manipulation, and contempt creates lasting damage.Spiritual abuse acts as a multiplier: When abuse is justified with God's name or Bible verses, children develop profound guilt, anger at God, and the belief that God is punishing and untrustworthy.Divorce isn't the problem - conflict is: Research shows that 80% of children from divorced homes grow up healthy and successful when at least one parent provides safety and stability.You can be the protective factor: One safe, emotionally attuned caregiver can change everything. Your healing and presence matter more than a legal document keeping the family "intact."📌 Relevant Links and Resources:🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming that was not only destroying me, but also my children. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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The Christian Abuser's Favorite Emotional Abuse Weapon (And How to Neutralize It!) - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 6 [361]
Jan 600:23:57Tap to summarizeWhat is the weapon Christian abusers most commonly use?In this sixth installment of the Emotional Abuse 101 series, Natalie Hoffman talks about a subtle weapon many Christian men wield in emotionally abusive relationships: criticism. But not the obvious, name-calling type. This is the more insidious, underhanded kind that’s drenched in misogyny and spiritual distortion.If you've ever wondered why your husband criticizes you, even while appearing like a “good Christian man,” this episode will show you the truth behind the curtain. And it will help you take your power back.🔑 Key Takeaways:Criticism is not always loud: Subtle criticism such as eye rolls, dismissive sighs, mansplaining, and “just joking” jabs can be more damaging than overt name-calling.This weapon is cultural and spiritual: Christian men are often raised to believe that anything “feminine” is weak, emotional, and inferior. This deep-rooted belief forms the foundation of their contempt.The misogyny is systemic: From Sunday school to locker rooms, boys are programmed to equate masculinity with power and femininity with weakness.The wife becomes the target: Once married, that learned disdain manifests as chronic correction, condescension, and disregard.You are not responsible for fixing him: Understanding the root of his behavior doesn’t mean justifying it. You have a right to healing, boundaries, and truth.📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Freedom Notes Newsletter for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.📌 Relevant Links and Resources:🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 💡 Join the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community — Get the education and support you need to reclaim your identity and heal.
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How Emotional Abuse in Your Christian Marriage Impacts Your Spiritual Health - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 5 [360]
Dec 3000:33:59Tap to summarizeEmotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore.🔑 Key Takeaways:Emotional abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and body. It wounds your soul.Natalie draws a powerful connection between emotional abuse and spiritual damage, especially for Christian women who’ve been taught not to trust themselves.When you’re conditioned to distrust your own inner knowing, spiritual confusion sets in. This leads to internal conflict, spiritual isolation, and the inability to differentiate between God's voice and the voice of your abuser.The church’s role often compounds the harm. Religious teachings that equate self-trust with rebellion against God cause many women to stay in abusive situations out of fear of divine punishment.You were never meant to worship at the altar of someone else’s control. God doesn’t ask you to sacrifice your voice, sanity, or safety. He offers freedom, not bondage.📚 Natalie Reads from Her Memoir: All the Scary Little GodsTimestamp 2:00–20:30Natalie reads Chapter 58: “Bible Counseling”, which recounts two devastating encounters with so-called “biblical counselors.” These counselors weaponized scripture to enforce submission and silence rather than support.Through deeply personal storytelling, she illustrates how spiritual guidance can become a vehicle for psychological and spiritual gaslighting.🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 🔗 Other Links and Resources Mentioned🧭 Free Resources & Support — Visit flyingfreenow.com📕 Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage — Order on Amazon https://amzn.to/4o5FCM8💌 Join the Flying Free Kaleidoscope — Visit joinflyingfree.com
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Broken Trust: When Church Hurts You [315]
Feb 18, 202500:51:55Tap to summarizeIn this eye-opening episode, Natalie shares her personal story of spiritual abuse and excommunication, offering a powerful backdrop for her conversation with author and spiritual consultant, Remy Diederich. Together, they delve into the dynamics of toxic faith, spiritual abuse, and how unhealthy church cultures can harm individuals and families.Remy, the author of Broken Trust, shares insights from his decades of ministry experience and his passion for helping people heal from spiritual abuse. Whether you're grappling with toxic religious environments or recovering from years of harmful teachings, this episode offers hope, practical advice, and a fresh perspective.Key Takeaways:Understanding Spiritual Abuse: Spiritual abuse often involves toxic leadership that weaponizes faith to control, manipulate, or shame individuals.Toxic Faith vs. Spiritual Abuse: Toxic faith is the belief that you must perform or meet certain standards to please God, while spiritual abuse occurs when leaders use those beliefs to exploit or control others.The Impact of Spiritual Abuse on Relationships: Abuse within churches often mirrors abusive dynamics in families, leading to distrust, division, and confusion.Healing from Spiritual Abuse: Recovery begins with identifying harmful patterns, stepping away if necessary, and seeking support through books, therapy, and supportive communities.The Power of Questioning Toxic Narratives: It’s okay to question teachings and leaders. Faith flourishes when it’s rooted in personal connection with God, not human-made rules.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Read one (or all) of Remy’s books: Broken Trust, Healing the Hurts of Your Past, Return From Exile, and Stuck are some of my favorites. Connect with Remy on his site. Go visit Remy over on YouTube. Email Remy at remy@readingremy.com to request an audiobook code (limited supply).Check out Be Emboldened for support as you recover from spiritual abuse.Related article and episode: “Bethlehem Baptist Church Is Not Safe for Emotionally Abused Women,” and “Is Your Church Safe?”Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress. Remy is a seasoned pastor and spiritual consultant with a heart for helping others overcome life's challenges. Over his three decades of ministry, he's authored six books that offer practical guidance and spiritual support for those seeking healing and connection to God. Remy's expertise extends beyond the pulpit. He's spent 24 years as a spiritual consultant at an addiction treatment center, where he's witnessed firsthand the transformative power of faith and hope. Today, Remy dedicates his time to empowering pastors to build healthy church cultures and coaching individuals on the themes of his books. A lifelong resident of Minneapolis, Minnesota, Remy is married with three adult children. His passion for helping others shines through in his writing, speaking, and counseling.
Transcribe →Christianity After Religion: A Flying Higher Moment 010
Feb 15, 202500:12:09Tap to summarizeIf you’ve ever side-eyed church culture and thought, “This can’t be what Jesus had in mind,” you’re not alone. In this episode, we dig into Christianity After Religion by Diana Butler Bass and talk about why the old way of doing church is crumbling—and why that’s actually good news. If you’re tired of toxic religion but still crave something real, this conversation will give you hope, validation, and maybe even a little fire to keep going.Join the Flying Higher Butterflies as we study the Bible, read books together, coach, and do classes in a live mentorship online setting each week!
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How to Be the Parent Your Child Needs During Divorce [314]
Feb 11, 202500:27:15Tap to summarizeIn this episode of the Flying Free Podcast, I address a listener's heartfelt question about how to talk to a three-year-old child about an abusive father while navigating divorce proceedings. I provide insights on child development, emotional regulation, and practical strategies to support both mother and child through this challenging transition. I also share ways to document healthy parenting for court proceedings and offer encouragement for mothers seeking to break generational cycles of abuse.Key Takeaways:Developmental understanding of a three-year-oldHow to talk to a toddler about divorce without alienationNormalizing divorce for kidsNavigating court and custody challengesPrioritizing self-care and healingRead the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Your local library. Check out books about divorce for kids to normalize the situation for them—for free! Recommended episodes: “When Coercively Controlling Fathers Sabotage Mothers’ Relationships With Their Children,” “Raising Resilient Kids Even if Your Co-Parent Is Destructive,” and “Help Your Kids Overcome Trauma from Abuse and Divorce.” Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress.
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Reading the Bible as a Survivor [313]
Feb 4, 202500:57:48Tap to summarizeIn this thought-provoking episode of the Flying Free Podcast, I sit down with author and essayist Liz Charlotte Grant to explore the complexities of faith, scripture, and healing after spiritual trauma. Liz’s debut book, Knock at the Sky, delves into the questions many of us grapple with during deconstruction and offers an artistic, fresh approach to reading the Bible.If you’ve ever felt disillusioned by literal interpretations of scripture or struggled to reconcile the Bible with the harm inflicted by its misuse, this episode is for you.Key Takeaways:Faith as a Journey, Not a DestinationLiz encourages listeners to embrace uncertainty and approach the Bible with curiosity rather than fear.Faith isn't about having all the answers; it's about walking into the unknown with Jesus as your anchor.Permission to Wrestle and QuestionDeconstruction doesn’t signal a loss of faith but rather an act of trust. Asking questions shows a desire for authenticity in our relationship with God.Survivor-Centric Bible ReadingSurvivors of spiritual abuse can reclaim agency by approaching scripture in ways that feel safe and healing. It’s okay to prioritize certain passages while setting others aside.Diverse Perspectives Enrich UnderstandingLiz emphasizes the value of exploring interpretations from scholars across cultures and disciplines to deepen our understanding of scripture.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Liz Charlotte Grant’s book: Knock at the Sky: Seeking God in Genesis After Losing Faith in the BibleLiz Charlotte’s website: lizcharlottegrant.comFollow Liz Charlotte on InstagramRecommended episodes: Episode 283, “A Closer Look at Spiritual Abuse,” and Episode 291, “The Deconstruction Books That Have Changed and Healed My Relationship with God.”Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress. Liz Charlotte Grant is an award-winning essayist whose first book, Knock at the Sky: Seeking God in Genesis After Losing Faith in the Bible, released in January 2025. She explores a wide range of ideas in her writing, including exploring the heartbreak of Elisabeth Elliot's third marriage, her own surprise disability, and the discovery of dark matter.
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Parallel Parenting Part Two [312]
Jan 28, 202501:05:02Tap to summarizeIn today’s episode, we’re continuing my conversation with life coach Diana Swillinger on parallel parenting. We’re diving into some of the tough questions you’ve sent in, like how to manage parallel parenting without falling into parental alienation, what to do when parenting styles and rules differ across homes, and how to handle situations where your kids prefer one parent and refuse to visit the other.We also talk about creating emergency plans to keep your children safe—both emotionally and physically. Whether you’re separated, divorced, or just trying to navigate a difficult co-parenting situation, this episode is full of insights to help you create a healthy, stable parenting environment for your kids.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Missed last week’s episode? Don’t worry! We introduced the basics of parallel parenting in Episode 311.Check out Diana Swillinger’s podcast, The Renew Your Mind Podcast for more on healing and emotional growth. I recommend episodes like “Staying Out of Family Drama.” and “Accepting What Is.”Check out Diana’s website.Follow Diana on Facebook and Instagram.You might also be interested in listening to Episode 233. In this episode, Jessica Nagy shares practical techniques for helping your kids regulate their emotions and build resilience. Learn how to support your children, co-regulate alongside them, and model healing so they can thrive despite the challenges of having a harmful parent.Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress. Diana Swillinger is a life and business coach, host of The Renew Your Mind Podcast, and founder of the Renew Your Mind Institute Coach Training. After decades of trying please God, be a good person and do the right thing, she ended up exhausted and discouraged. Desperate for a solution, Diana went back to school, joined personal development programs, and more, then took what she learned and created mind renewal tools that let her love life in every situation no matter what comes her way. Over the past 5 years she has empowered thousands of women with those same tools to heal themselves, get back to who God created them to be, and build a life they love.
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Parallel Parenting Part One [311]
Jan 21, 202500:42:28Tap to summarizeIn today’s episode, we’re diving into the topic of parallel parenting—what it means, why it matters, and how it can empower you as a mother to create a home filled with love and stability, even when co-parenting feels like a battlefield.We explore how to rise above emotional manipulation, operate from a place of peace and truth, and model resilience for your children. Whether you’re navigating parallel parenting or seeking emotional clarity, this episode is full of practical wisdom and hope.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Love Diana? We have another episode with her here: The Importance of Empathy for Yourself.Check out Diana’s website.Follow Diana’s podcast, The Renew Your Mind Podcast. Some of her best episodes include “Staying Out of Family Drama,” “Have To Vs. Choose To,” “When People Are Wrong About You,” “When People Are Right About You,” and “Accepting What Is.”Follow Diana on Facebook and Instagram.Are you in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationship? You might want to also listen to this episode: Are You Married to a Quiet Covert Abuser with a Hidden Lifestyle?Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress. Diana Swillinger is a life and business coach, host of The Renew Your Mind Podcast, and founder of the Renew Your Mind Institute Coach Training. After decades of trying please God, be a good person and do the right thing, she ended up exhausted and discouraged. Desperate for a solution, Diana went back to school, joined personal development programs, and more, then took what she learned and created mind renewal tools that let her love life in every situation no matter what comes her way. Over the past 5 year she has empowered thousands of women with those same tools to heal themselves, get back to who God created them to be, and build a life they love.
Transcribe →Who Can You Trust? A Flying Higher Moment 009
Jan 18, 202500:07:32Tap to summarizeTrust is complicated—especially after experiencing disappointment or hurt. Is it possible to fully trust anyone? What does it take to build trust, and where should it start? In this episode, we explore these questions, challenge common assumptions about trust, and share a fresh perspective on building stronger, healthier relationships.You won’t want to miss this episode—it might just change the way you think about trust forever.Would you like to be part of my live mentorship program, Flying Higher? Head over HERE to learn more!
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