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Mr. Truffles
From deep in the heart of Beverly Hills, you found For Love and chocolate with Mr. And Mrs. Truffles. Well, welcome back to the podcast, everybody.
Mrs. Truffles
Yes, welcome back to For Love and Chocolate.
Mr. Truffles
Just my favorite day of the week is sitting here with you and kind of just thinking about everything happening in our lives.
Mrs. Truffles
But you know what's so exciting to me, Mr. Truffles?
Mr. Truffles
What's that?
Mrs. Truffles
Is thinking about how we've interviewed over two dozen couples this year, and these are couples who are married for decades and still crazy about each other, madly.
Mr. Truffles
In love with each other.
Mrs. Truffles
I feel like I've learned so much from them. I mean, and a lot of it, you kind of know, you hear it said, communication, humor. But really listening to how these people have used these as building blocks to a long lasting love that's still fiery and fresh, it's so inspiring, isn't it?
Alan Blumenfeld
It is.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah. You know, we sit our couples down on this little love seat in the studio and it's so fun because most of the times they're, you know, they're kind of holding hands or they're just kind of rubbing shoulders and staying close to each other. But the continuous threat that we hear almost every time is that laughter and humor are really getting them through.
Mrs. Truffles
Laughter and humor. All the tough times, they almost all have made that like one of the number one things that they use to.
Mr. Truffles
Stay together that and have a friendship and don't sweat the small stuff.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah. A lot of really solid advice, but I would just say for anyone who's been married a short time or wants to get married, it's worth listening to our couples. They have a lot to teach.
Mr. Truffles
That's right.
Mrs. Truffles
There's a lot of wisdom.
Mr. Truffles
And, you know, they don't even come in thinking that they're going to be dropping knowledge. But through their stories, we learn so much, don't we?
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah, we've learned a lot of things. My favorite part, I still have to say, is all the immediate magic that so many of them have experienced. Not everybody, but a lot of them.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
And the fact that they couple that immediate magic with ongoing humor, and it's such a beautiful thing. I love it.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, I would just say that, you know what, these stories make my heart feel so full and I'm so grateful to everyone who tunes in every week and listens and keep us coming back and doing this because I'm having the time of my life.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, we really are. And I think that our love has grown stronger.
Mrs. Truffles
Yes. And our hearts have grown fuller.
Mr. Truffles
Yes, they have Mrs. Truffles.
Mrs. Truffles
And speaking of full. Yes, I think you know what time it is.
Mr. Truffles
Uh. Oh, mailbag. Okay, Mrs. Truffles, but what do we have in the mail bag today?
Mrs. Truffles
Well, Mr. Truffles, we have quite a lot in the mail bag today.
Mr. Truffles
Okay.
Mrs. Truffles
A little on the full side. So let's get into it here. We have a message from someone named Karen.
Mr. Truffles
Karen.
Mrs. Truffles
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Truffles, I am a married 33 year old woman. I went to see a divorce lawyer a week ago to start divorce proceedings against my husband who made a terrible decision when he voted on election day.
Mr. Truffles
Oh.
Mrs. Truffles
I absolutely made my feelings clear about this election and I am furious with him. Oh, my. The same evening that I retained counsel, I went out for cocktails and commiserating with my girlfriends. And later that night, one thing led to another and my husband got me to have sex with him.
Mr. Truffles
Oh.
Mrs. Truffles
I am still completely done with him. But for the past week, we have been having wildly, passionately love making truly the best we've ever had. I've already spent money on the lawyer and I don't feel that I can ever let go of my anger with him. How can we ever make it as a couple after the terrible thing he has done? Angry in Encino. My Mr. Truffles.
Mr. Truffles
I don't know if I can touch this. Mr. Truffles. I Don't know.
Mrs. Truffles
I've heard a lot of these kind of stories this week.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
What I would say to Karen is that you two clearly belong together, even if you don't see eye to eye on things politically.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
You know, and it's America. You just gotta let people vote the way they want to.
Mr. Truffles
That's right. And you know what? Where there's heat, there's fire.
Mrs. Truffles
Oh, yes.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, yeah, that's there.
Mrs. Truffles
Sounds like this contentious election was kind of a blessing in disguise for you two. So congratulations.
Mr. Truffles
Yes, congratulations.
Mrs. Truffles
Counsel the lawyer.
Mr. Truffles
Yes. We'd love to check back in about a year, see what's happening. But thanks for writing in, Ken.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah, we love you both. Take good care. So what else do we have in the mailbag today, Mr. Truffles?
Mr. Truffles
Well, Mrs. Truffles, this is a letter from Jim. And Jim writes, Dear Mr. And Mrs. Truffles, I've been dating a woman I met online for three months now, and it was going really well. I'm actually pretty crazy about her and agreed to make our relationship exclusive pretty quickly. The problem is that she recently told me she knows that I haven't stopped scrolling the dating apps. Truth is, I don't really want to date anyone else. I just enjoy looking at the pictures and it's just sort of a habit. How can I convince her that it's just a harmless hobby? Thanks, Jim. Do you want me to take this one, Mrs. Truffles?
Mrs. Truffles
By all means, Mr. Truffles.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, Jim, it's not just a hobby, buddy. We gotta. We gotta rein it in. Especially if it makes her uncomfortable. I mean, I get it, you know, it's just. It's the. It's the age of scrolling and apps and you get these quick little hits, but man, I. It's a slippery slope. I would be very careful.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah, you know what? There's other things you can scroll. Yeah, you know, there's sporting things.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, you could study backgammon.
Mrs. Truffles
There's all kinds of politics. Yeah, I've been getting little ads in social media for these different apps. You can get to learn about different subjects.
Mr. Truffles
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
You can learn geography, origami, art. Yes, there's a lot of things you could be scrolling, Jim, besides eligible young.
Mr. Truffles
Women in your three mile radius.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah, yeah. Let go of that habit, buddy, or else you're gonna end up losing this relationship.
Mr. Truffles
But thank you for bringing your question to us, and I hope we were even a little bit helpful.
Mrs. Truffles
I think we were pretty helpful.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, I think we're very helpful.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah. Cut it out. Okay, Mr. Truffles, is there anything else in the mailbag today?
Mr. Truffles
Yeah. Oh, actually, this is. This is something. Mrs. Truffles, this is a handwritten note. Everything else has been coming over email. This is a handwritten note from a woman named Maria.
Mrs. Truffles
Oh, okay, let's see.
Mr. Truffles
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Truffles, I don't.
Mrs. Truffles
Know how that works, but although I've.
Mr. Truffles
Never actually listened to your podcast because we aren't allowed any electronic devices, I am a young 26 year old student novice training to become a nun at our local monastery in Austria. I'm a bit clumsy and forgetful, but I know that my heart is in the right place and I want more than anything to be able to serve God. However, Reverend Mothers seem to have other ideas for me and has recently sent me to serve as governess to a naval sea captain and his seven children. It's not that I don't love children. They're really quite lovely. But I'm starting to have feelings for the captain. I don't know how to process them. I know that, like this mountain, I must simply climb it, but I'm struggling to and want more than anything to know God's will. I would also Love to hear what the two of you have to say about my plight. Sincerely, Maria.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, Mr. Truffles. Mrs. Truffles, you're trying to trick me.
Mr. Truffles
No, Maria's in trouble.
Mrs. Truffles
You just want to talk about your favorite movie some more.
Mr. Truffles
I do. I love that movie so much.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, Mr. Truffles. Well, why don't you go ahead and tell us a little bit about our guests we have coming to visit today.
Mr. Truffles
I can't wait. Mrs. Truffles. We've got Alan Blumenfeld and Catherine James. Alan Blumenfeld is a working actor in theater, film, and television who got his first laugh at the age of 5 while playing Haman in Purim Spiel. A Broadway fan once shouted at him, wait, I know that fat guy. That fat guy is funny. He's asked his family to put we knew that fat guy. That fat guy was funny on his tombstone. Catherine acts, writes, and directs for the theater. Her ability to make it work, no matter what allowed her to fend off a dog who ran onto the stage in one production and a raccoon who tried to run on stage in another. Despite rumors to the contrary, the theater is not what turned her into a vegan. And I know now our listening audience is probably thinking, what were the major events of 1973? Well, the Watergate scandal broke out. Marlon Brando rejected his Oscar for the Godfather, and Alan Blumenfeld and Katherine James fell in love. And we'll hear all about that romantic story when we come back with more for love and chocolate. For over 40 years, Toysher has been a staple in the Beverly Hills community. Like so many other families in the community, our family has had a longstanding love affair with toysher chocolates. Over the years, we formed traditions and memories around these extraordinary Swiss chocolates and the enchanting wonderland of fantasy truffle boxes inside our store. Today, our family is proud to be carrying on the toysher tradition in Beverly Hills.
Mrs. Truffles
All right, well, welcome back.
Mr. Truffles
Welcome back. You know, Mrs. Truffles, this next couple, and I'm so excited to have this couple because it's Alan Blumenfeld and his beautiful wife Katherine James. And what's so interesting is we've kind of had a rule where the couples had to be married at least 20 years. This is clearly a trophy wife situation because Alan looks like he's been sitting on a park bench for 50 years, and Catherine looks like she just came out of a yoga retreat. Anyway, welcome, guys. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong.
Alan Blumenfeld
Absolutely.
Mrs. Truffles
Why don't you tell us A little.
Mr. Truffles
Bit about how long you've married.
Catherine James
First and foremost, we have been together for 51 years.
Alan Blumenfeld
We lived together in sin for. Or we tried as hard as possible to create sin while we were living together for five years.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Alan Blumenfeld
And then we got married because we wanted to have children. And we thought the world is just kinder to kids who are born in a married situation.
Mrs. Truffles
So you guys were kind of free spirits.
Alan Blumenfeld
As free spirited as a Jew from Long island could be back then.
Mr. Truffles
Okay, well, I'm going to take it from here, Mrs. Trop. Why don't you guys tell us how you very first met.
Catherine James
May 17, 1973, first day of acting school at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco, California.
Mrs. Truffles
Wow.
Catherine James
That was the first day I laid eyes on Alan Blumenfeld.
Alan Blumenfeld
So I'm waiting for the elevator. The door opens and there's this very beautiful woman with a cast up to her knee on crutches. Now we're in an acting school and you're thinking hot. Well, I'm thinking the ferociousness. We're doing fencing and ballet and jazz and tap and yoga, acting. And you're on crutches with a cast. Maybe it wasn't up to your knee. Maybe it was only ankle.
Catherine James
Maybe there wasn't a cast at all, but that's okay. Is that true? There was not a cast, but there were crutches.
Alan Blumenfeld
That's some kind of boot or something. Most people would say, I'm not going to go. I'm going to come. I'm going to go later. Because it just. The physical requirement is conservatory training.
Mr. Truffles
And this was the first day.
Alan Blumenfeld
First day. May 17th.
Catherine James
So we met May 17th. We were living together by December 17th.
Mr. Truffles
What in the world?
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
So what was your first impression when the elevator opened?
Catherine James
Well, I don't remember him from when the elevator opened.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Catherine James
I remember him from. From sitting. He was sitting in a room. Cause I was pretty busy when the elevator opened, trying to figure out how I was gonna get my body off the elevator with my crutches into class, and who was, you know, was I gonna be? Okay, Was this gonna be a problem? Was I just gonna be. No, I was gonna be the person that I am, and I was just gonna forge ahead and.
Mr. Truffles
And you were 22 at the time.
Mrs. Truffles
How old were you?
Catherine James
I had just turned 21. And he was about to turn 21.
Mr. Truffles
Got it.
Catherine James
I graduated from college early, and I.
Alan Blumenfeld
Left college after three years. I went to Sarah Lawrence the third year that men were on campus. And I had a horrible, horrible time for a Variety of reasons, much of which is on me. Nothing succeeds like excess. That's the motto of Sarah Lawrence. And there were some brilliant teachers, and it was interesting, but I needed to get out. And so I went to San Francisco to go to acting school and changed my life. The schools changed my life, and meeting Catherine changed my life.
Mrs. Truffles
What was the first actual meeting when you first spoke to each other?
Catherine James
Right away, that first day in the first class.
Alan Blumenfeld
Okay, so what was your impression?
Catherine James
I looked across the room and Alan was sitting there talking. Shockingly enough, a group of people gathered around him and he was chattering away, holding cord, which he has always done. And I swear to you, it was like the lights dimmed in the room and there was a spotlight over him. And I heard, remember him? This is the wall. Do you remember this man?
Mrs. Truffles
Oh, my God.
Mr. Truffles
What?
Catherine James
And then the lights came back up again.
Mr. Truffles
Come on.
Catherine James
Well, exactly, because angels were speaking to you. I believe they were.
Mr. Truffles
Mrs. Travis, you have tears in your eyes right now.
Mrs. Truffles
Goosebumps.
Mr. Truffles
Just remembering the moment.
Catherine James
I remember it so beautifully.
Alan Blumenfeld
And Kathy was also the remarkable human who, when we were pregnant with our second child, she was backstage at Berkley Stage Company about to go on stage and heard a voice that said, if.
Catherine James
It'S a boy, why don't you name him Nathan? And I said, okay, so I'm not.
Alan Blumenfeld
Going to argue with that.
Mrs. Truffles
So she talks to angels, your wife?
Alan Blumenfeld
Or at least they talk to her.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, she listens.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah. So we were very good friends for six months. Excited.
Mrs. Truffles
So. So from that moment on, were you crushing on Allan? Like, were you.
Catherine James
Oh, no, he was a friend.
Mrs. Truffles
He was just a friend.
Catherine James
That's the thing that. But when you're friends six days a week, in leotards and tights, all day, all night, with all due respect, I.
Alan Blumenfeld
Did not wear leotards. I wore a T shirt and tights. It was a bridge too far, the leotard for me. But anyway.
Catherine James
And you're doing very intense exercises and you're doing scenes together. By the fall, we did a scene for Waiting from Lefty.
Mr. Truffles
Waiting for Lefty is a Depression era play by playwright Clifford Odettes consisting of a series of vignettes related to a group of struggling New York City cab drivers.
Catherine James
We did the young cab driver and his girl, the Sid and Florey scene. And rehearsing that scene was really magical with the two of us. We just clicked as actors together. Alan and I have a real special thing. When we're on stage together, we have. Critics have described it as a kind of real Chemistry. We have always had that together.
Alan Blumenfeld
It's really magic.
Catherine James
We've always had that together.
Alan Blumenfeld
Our partnership. I mean, that scene was really magic.
Catherine James
There's a moment in the Sid and Flory scene because it's the depression. The depression is going to split these two people up. These two young people are not going to get married. They were going to get married, but they're not going to get married. I know. And at the very end, he says, hello, babe, and does a tap dance, soft shoe. And then he says, goodbye, babe. And then he says a line like, are you okay? Are you okay? And she says, no, and dissolves into tears. And the thought of his going out the door, it's choking you up. I just.
Mrs. Truffles
Wow.
Catherine James
I went, wait, I don't want him to go out the door.
Alan Blumenfeld
He was very.
Catherine James
I didn't want him to go out the door.
Alan Blumenfeld
Then Kathy came over.
Mrs. Truffles
But let's just back up to that moment now. Could you perceive.
Alan Blumenfeld
Oh, yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
That this emotions were actually real and not just acting?
Alan Blumenfeld
Oh, yes. I mean, that was the whole point of our training, was that if you're feeling love, you have to feel love.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Alan Blumenfeld
If you're feeling hatred, you have to feel hatred. There is no someone else that you're hiding behind who's going to go through the emotional experience for you. You actually have to be in that.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, and then did you feel that?
Alan Blumenfeld
Oh, yeah. We were told in that moment, caveat. Catherine was living with someone at the time who she had moved from Chicago in an apartment. A guy named Chip, who was a giant gentile man.
Mr. Truffles
I don't like him. I'll be honest.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, I mean, Chip the giant.
Mr. Truffles
Chip the giant sounds intimidating.
Alan Blumenfeld
I thought he might kill me. Anyway, we went out to dinner. Chip was not there.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, so it was just the two of you went to dinner?
Alan Blumenfeld
No, because we brought our friend with us.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay. And this is the same day.
Catherine James
This was December 17th.
Mr. Truffles
Special day.
Catherine James
Yeah, special day.
Alan Blumenfeld
I brought our friend with us because we're in class together six days a week, 12 hours a day. The whole community is. Everyone knows everything.
Mr. Truffles
You're almost.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, everyone knows everything. And she's living with somebody. And then we come home and our friend leaves and we. We were a little. I don't know if we got high or whatever, but. And at like, you know, it's like 1:00, I said, I've got to go to sleep. We have to go to class in like six hours. Ken said, okay. And she got undressed and got into bed. And I'm like, what? The.
Mrs. Truffles
With you?
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah. I said, okay, all right. Now. And then we were together for, like, three days. This is my memory. We got there for three days. At the end of three days, Kathy said, well, I think I need to go back, figure out what's going on with this guy. I said, yeah, that's a good idea.
Mrs. Truffles
With Chip.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, that's a good idea, because you got this whole other vibe going on over there, and we were clearly sort of falling in love at that point.
Catherine James
You're absolutely right. From your point of view, that's exactly what happened. You're exact. Of course you're right.
Alan Blumenfeld
And from your point of view.
Catherine James
So I figured out that I didn't want to live with Chip anymore about, I don't know, December 17th. Chip was the kind of guy, like, I was what we used to refer to as a serial monogamist back in the 70s, 60s and 70s, which meant I would be in a relationship with one person at a time. And I didn't demand a lot, but I did demand monogamy. And Chip was not monogamous.
Mr. Truffles
And you knew that about him.
Catherine James
I learned that more and more about him. There comes a time when there's only so many times you can take the sheets down to the laundromat that someone else has had sex with your boyfriend on before you start going, you know, I don't want to do this anymore. And then I started saying, you know.
Mr. Truffles
Who no one has ever met ever in the history of man? Chip, the serial monogamous. Sorry, he just doesn't.
Alan Blumenfeld
I actually never met you.
Catherine James
I agree. I agree. I agree. So I started thinking, because I knew I wanted to be in another relationship, but I needed. I needed to just a soft landing place for a minute, you know, a girl needed a soft landing place for a minute. I thought to myself, you know, why can't I have a lover who's nice, like a friend, like a nice person? Like, why can't I have a nice guy who's like, I don't know, like Alan Blumenfeld, Like, I don't know, like a nice person like that? And then it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't have to have a guy who is nice like Alan Blumenfeld as my lover. I could simply go down the hill and seduce Alan Blumenfeld. Just. He's a really nice guy, and we really hit it off, and there's something going on here between us. But I could just have a soft landing for a little while, because, of course, I was, you know, I was 21. I'd be going on to my. You know. So I get there. Alan Blumenfeld took me three days to seduce. Because Alan, unlike other guys, Alan went to Sarah Lawrence College, and he did not have a great time. Alan hadn't had, you know, gone to bed with a bunch of girls at Sarah Lawrence because he wasn't interested in having a relationship that wasn't meaningful.
Alan Blumenfeld
Correct.
Catherine James
Alan doesn't like sleeping with lots and lots and lots of people and lots and lots and lots of women.
Alan Blumenfeld
In fact, now I do, but it's too late. So if we could build a way back. No, that's true. I never did. And, well, it didn't take you three days to seduce me because we slept together immediately. But after three days, you figured out you have to rearrange what was going on.
Catherine James
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
I knew the first night when she. When you said, oh, we've got to go to bed now. It's getting late.
Alan Blumenfeld
I have to go to bed.
Mr. Truffles
Right.
Mrs. Truffles
I have to go to bed. And then you guys end up having a sleepover.
Alan Blumenfeld
No, we wound up having sex.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay. But it turned into a sleepover that lasted three days.
Alan Blumenfeld
Three days. We were still in class.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Alan Blumenfeld
And then we come home, back to my apartment, and. Yeah. I mean, it was fantastic.
Mrs. Truffles
Can I back up for just one second? So to the first night when you guys went to. After you had the scene and you went to dinner, and then you were hanging out. When was the first kiss? When was the first moment that you, like, tipped your hat that it was on, you know?
Mr. Truffles
And who made the move?
Mrs. Truffles
And who made the move?
Catherine James
Oh, me.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, you made the move of the first kiss.
Alan Blumenfeld
She took off to bed.
Mr. Truffles
Did he know that you were a serial nudist?
Catherine James
He.
Alan Blumenfeld
Well, at that moment, I did.
Catherine James
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
So the first kiss didn't happen until that moment.
Mr. Truffles
That was December 17th.
Catherine James
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
Is that a day that we'll live in infamous?
Mr. Truffles
It might be.
Catherine James
I think it is.
Alan Blumenfeld
You were like. You were like something.
Catherine James
It's something.
Mr. Truffles
You just.
Catherine James
Boom, that was it.
Mrs. Truffles
And did that take you by surprise or were you kind of expecting it?
Alan Blumenfeld
Once she took off her clothes, I knew the kissing was close. I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, my God.
Alan Blumenfeld
So I could figure naked is going to lead to a kiss.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, my God.
Catherine James
Well, I can tell you that I wasn't expecting how vulnerable and trembling he was with his eyes closed and so sweet and tender that I had never met a guy like that.
E
I can't give you anything but love Baby, baby Omar. That's the only Only thing I plenty of, baby Dream a wild scheme a while we should, we should have we'll find some happiness and I guess all those things you've always pined for G I'd like to see you looking swell baby baby oh diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't cell baby till that lucky day you know darn well baby I can't give you anything but love but love now Even though it's 3 below let's just enjoy the storm baby we got love to keep us warm Keep us so warm OG I'd like to see you looking swell baby oh my diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't sell baby till that lucky day you know darn well well baby I can't give you anything all you need is love and I got plenty of I can't give you anything I just come love it's crazy little things come love.
Catherine James
So, of course, I went back up the hill, packed my stuff up, said goodbye to Chip, but then it was already time to go back for Christmas break, so she went back.
Alan Blumenfeld
To Illinois, and I stayed in San Francisco. My sister lived in Palo Alto at the time. She sends me a holiday card that says merry Christmas to the mailman. And I'm like, what the. What, are you kidding me? What is this now? I am a Jew from Long island, highly analytical, like, let's figure it out. We gotta figure out everything. If I can figure it out, then we can make sense of it. So I spent two weeks.
Mr. Truffles
It's not a New York Times crossword puzzle, for God's sakes. Figure out this cryptic message.
Alan Blumenfeld
I'm like, what is this? What is this? And Kathy's response when she came back.
Catherine James
Was, I thought it was funny.
Mrs. Truffles
And it is funny, because he's also. Not only is he not Christian, he's not a mailman, he's not any of those things.
Alan Blumenfeld
To me, it was insane. And that our compatibility is spectacular and global across all aspects of our lives, except our humor. Catherine we were running for a trolley in San Francisco one time, and I was wearing Birkenstocks. And we got on the streetcar, and everyone said, no, no, we've got to stop. We got to get off. So everyone jumped off, and I jumped off last, and I was wearing Birkenstocks, and I slipped and fell, and I almost rolled under the streetcar. And I'm like, oh, my God. I get up, she's laughing hysterically. I'm like, I almost got my legs amputated. Why is that funny to you?
Catherine James
So, because as our niece, Chloe Nell says, you Funny Uncle Allen. Well, she doesn't say that anymore. She's 23. But she would say, you funny Uncle Allen, because you're just a funny guy. But I thought that was funny.
Alan Blumenfeld
Two years later, I got offered a job at Ashland, the Shakespeare festival. And I called Jerry Turner, who was.
Mrs. Truffles
Running at Ashland, Oregon.
Alan Blumenfeld
Ashland, Oregon, it's a Shakespeare festival. It's been there forever. I called Jerry and I said, you know, yeah, listen, this is odd. I'd love to come, but I'm living with Katherine James and I'd like her to come with me. Do you have a spot? He said, I know her. Her audition was brilliant. Let me, let me see. And then he called back and said, yes, I have a spot for her, but you guys are gonna have to split a contract. And at the time, the contract was $75 a week.
Mr. Truffles
Stop it.
Alan Blumenfeld
Seven days a week, no days off. Hooray for non union work.
Mr. Truffles
But you also got to spend the summer together.
Alan Blumenfeld
Well, and that's really where we fell deeply in love.
Catherine James
What I would say is, not everybody makes a commitment to always work together, especially actors in the theater. And that summer we basically made the commitment that we were always going to live together, we were always going to work together, and that that was the way it was going to come down.
Alan Blumenfeld
We pledge our troth for this journey.
Catherine James
Yeah, for this journey together, you kind.
Mr. Truffles
Of became the Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward of your generation.
Alan Blumenfeld
He wishes he looked this good.
Mr. Truffles
I'm telling you.
Alan Blumenfeld
We made choices not to travel. I did one tour in New York, I was on Broadway for one season and left, left home. But other than that, we've not, I mean, for, for a movie or TV thing, I'll go away and come back because there's.
Mrs. Truffles
Sure. So then you guys were living together for how long before. The subject you said when you decided you wanted children, the subject came up.
Alan Blumenfeld
So we went up to Ashland, Oregon for a season, went to Santa Maria Pacific Conservatory of Performing Arts, where we taught and acted in the company. And then. So that's five and a half years later.
Catherine James
It was January of 1978.
Alan Blumenfeld
We're sitting in the. We had a two story apartment, a gorgeous apartment, San Francisco, on 21st Street. We're sitting on the bedroom, which was upstairs. It's just so pretty. And we were sitting there and we.
Catherine James
Both said, so what do you think?
Alan Blumenfeld
You want to get married?
Catherine James
Yeah. Do you want to get married?
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, let's get married. We can have kids.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, so five years later.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, you.
Mrs. Truffles
One day, you just sitting there and it just Popped in both your heads at the same time or had the subject come up previously?
Catherine James
No. Clearly we had been thinking about kids and then we just, boom, well, then let's get married.
Mrs. Truffles
So you had had the conversation about children before?
Catherine James
Yeah. Well, we knew we wanted children.
Mrs. Truffles
You knew that.
Catherine James
Okay, here's how I knew. Okay. Allen's sister and brother in law had a little girl named Beth already who was 5 years old. And she was the one who got that I was gonna be on the scene forever. You can imagine that my Jewish in laws, I was not the daughter in law that they dreamed was coming, but Beth got it right away. I fell in love with Beth right away. The first time that we were at the house together, I watched Alan get right down on the floor and talk to her like she was a person way back then. And that was like 1974. I said to myself, wow, that is a man that you want to have children with. He understands how to be a father. He treats children like they're people. He would be an amazing father. This is the kind of guy you put on your credit card and you take it home with you. Then Beth had a little sister, Amy, our wonderful niece Amy. So she was the first baby we had in common. Right. Watching the way that Alan held Amy and getting to hold Amy myself, and the two of us together, I mean, that was like cement for us. That cemented it.
Mrs. Truffles
So how was the wedding? Did you guys do a big wedding or just a little civil ceremony? What was that like? Well, I mean, I understand that your family wasn't thrilled you were marrying the shiksa.
Alan Blumenfeld
Well, they were so grateful that I wasn't a heroin addict lying in the gutter somewhere.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay. Is it the bar?
Alan Blumenfeld
Show you how?
Mr. Truffles
Pretty much.
Alan Blumenfeld
I always like to set the bar low. That way I can step over. So first we had our friends Ray and Candice, who I love very much, still a married couple doing theater together, traveling from regional rep to regional rep. And they had a family, and we lived in their house, beautiful house in San Francisco. We asked them to become ministers through the universe. It's the universal life. $25, you become a minister. And my mother said, a minister. I never thought Kathy would ask for a minister. I said, it's not really a minister. On the back of the Rolling Stone, there's an ad that says, for $25, you can become a minister. The universal. It's not really yes, but a minister. So if that word makes you that nervous, think of it as a justice of the peace. Didn't help but so we went to Maiden Lane on San Francisco off of Union Square, and Britex Fabrics was there. And as we walked in the door, there was this rainbow silk chiffon fabric hanging over the doorway. And we said, that's it. And Kathy made a tunic for me, a dress for her, and a pair of peacock blue French silk trousers, which someday maybe I could wear at least on one leg again. We'll see what happens over time, but we still have them. So there was this park near my sister's house in Palo Alto. We thought we had the wedding there, ceremony there, and then the reception at my sister's house.
Mrs. Truffles
Now, the couple both got ordained.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, they did.
Mrs. Truffles
And so they both officiated the wedding.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, they created an opening ceremony and a closing ceremony, and we had all of our friends. We assigned things for them to read. And only the actor friends paid attention during the rehearsal. Everyone else was like, whatever, sure, I'll read this. And then afterwards, my brother said, that's a very intense thing that I read. I said, yes, you might want to read that over before you. At the next wedding. For my next wedding, did Chip do.
Mr. Truffles
A sonnet or Chip?
Alan Blumenfeld
Chip was in the back. Chip was swinging in the tree above us. I think he was naked. I couldn't quite tell.
Catherine James
We were married in the last hippie ceremony on the face of planet Earth in 1978. We were married in matching rainbow silk chiffon with a circle of people around us who were each holding a ribbon. And the ribbons were all different colors. And at the end of the ceremony, Ray and Candice had everybody untie the ribbons and put them in the tree and give a wish for us. And my husband's grandfather, Gramps came up to me and he said to my ear, this time, I want a boy. He had Beth and Amy and at that point, Jenny, Jennifer. So there were three little girls, and he said, I want a boy. And I was pregnant with Jordan in three weeks.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, there's the first wish.
Catherine James
Who am I to argue? What am I going to tell you?
Mrs. Truffles
Listen to those angels.
Catherine James
Never been pregnant there. I'm pregnant with Jordan. Why can I say I guess so?
Alan Blumenfeld
It was a great ceremony.
Catherine James
Lots of fun.
Alan Blumenfeld
It was a lot of fun.
Mrs. Truffles
Was there a reception afterwards?
Alan Blumenfeld
Yes, we hired Ward on Polk.
Catherine James
On Polk Street. Yeah.
Alan Blumenfeld
He had a catering place that a lot of our friends knew about.
Catherine James
Yep. Our wedding cake was from Just Desserts.
Alan Blumenfeld
It was a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.
Catherine James
With a big rainbow.
Mrs. Truffles
With a big rainbow.
Alan Blumenfeld
Faye McNally, God bless his soul, who started the Inverness Jazz Festival.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Alan Blumenfeld
We said, listen, would you guys play at our wedding? He said, yeah, we gotta have an ensemble. We could do that. I said, well, how much do you want? He said, well, $25 and a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Mrs. Truffles
Done.
Alan Blumenfeld
I said, easy.
Catherine James
Oh, my God.
Alan Blumenfeld
And, I mean, he was lovely, though. A great Chazz. I mean, he was a. He was a thing in San Francisco.
Mr. Truffles
So your minister and the band cost $25 each.
Alan Blumenfeld
The whole thing.
Mrs. Truffles
And a bottle of whiskey.
Mr. Truffles
And a bottle of whiskey.
Alan Blumenfeld
The whole thing was 35, 38.
Catherine James
I don't even remember.
Alan Blumenfeld
Everyone was very worried about everything because Catherine grew up in the First Congregational Church of DeKalb, Illinois, where if you could do a wedding for $200, but you can make it almost as good for a hundred, do it for a hundred. And I grew up where you had to have, like, you know, footmen and.
Mr. Truffles
Of course.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah. Because Jews want to be Gentiles. Always. Yeah, all of it. And. But we split. We split a good difference. It was very nice.
Mrs. Truffles
And how many people were in attendance?
Catherine James
Maybe 100.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay. Intimate, little.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, it was. Everyone we knew.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah. Amazing. And what about honeymoon? Was there a honeymoon that followed?
Catherine James
A very short honeymoon? Because, of course, shockingly enough, we were putting up a summer season, a repertory season of theater.
Alan Blumenfeld
Summer up 78.
Catherine James
We had, what, four days in Mendocino.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah. We got a pop top VW, pop top camper. We loved it. We went up to Big Sur, and then we went up to Mendocino, went through all the redwood forests and big trees and. Oh, my God, it was magnificent. It was really fun.
Mrs. Truffles
Oh, we love it up there.
Mr. Truffles
It's our favorite place.
Mrs. Truffles
Our favorite place.
Alan Blumenfeld
It was so magnificent. And we. And we always worked together, lived together, created art together, created life together, created family together. To me, that was the. That was the goal. The point was the two equal humans face to face. We're gonna trudge this.
Mr. Truffles
Go to life together.
Alan Blumenfeld
Correct.
Catherine James
Yeah. Very egalitarian relationship, or else I wouldn't have been. Who wants to do this without being equal? That, for me, that was a big thing.
Alan Blumenfeld
We also. Our third act, we saw. We also had a business which we ran for 48 years. Long time. And it was very successful and very important and very powerful and had a real impact in the world. And we grew it over the last 10 years, a lot. Now we're back to what Catherine said. Now we're back to doing what we always did, which is produce theater together. Original theater or thing that we wanted to do, but now we have money.
Mrs. Truffles
So you guys have been married 51 years, and you're clearly still very crazy about each other and just so connected and so in love. What would you say is the special ingredient, the magic that keeps it going?
Catherine James
Here's what I say. Alan might have a very different opinion, but for me, the reality is that human beings are always changing. So I am always changing, and Alan is always changing. So at any given time, from where I am at this moment, I have to be able to look across at Alan and I have to either be able to say how he's changed. I get to either say, wow, that's really great, or that's really funny, or I can live with that.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay. And if it's not great, you're like, well, it's just gonna change.
Catherine James
You know, you just. Okay, this too should pass. You know, it's not. It's. To me, that's the biggest thing, because we are not the same people we were when we were 20 and 21. We're not. How could we be? Right. And yet we still find one another fascinating and exciting at this point. At this point, Right.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah. You have to be willing to fall in love with who the person is as they change, because life is hard. And, you know, we've had a lot of up and down times and some dark times, you know, and being in this business of acting, the business of show is really crazy. Our company helped a lot in terms of money, but again, it was like golden handcuffs for Catherine for many years because she did a lot of the travel really took her away from wanting to act full time and write her plays full time. And life is hard, so the more you can laugh about it and enjoy each other and just try to, you know, what are the two rules? Don't sweat the small stuff. And then rule number two is it's all small stuff.
Mrs. Truffles
I love it.
Alan Blumenfeld
It's like, what's gonna. Not. What's gonna be a problem, you know, a hundred years from now, is it gonna matter?
Catherine James
Yeah.
Alan Blumenfeld
I don't know.
Catherine James
Yeah. I mean, this is the man that, like, we buried four parents together. We were the kids on the ground for four.
Alan Blumenfeld
I actually dug all the graves myself for my mother. I almost wanted to bury it sooner than.
Catherine James
No, but we didn't, you know, but who else do you go through these experiences with, but somebody that you can really go through an experience like that.
Alan Blumenfeld
With and you have to forgive a lot? Like, what is worth fighting about?
Mrs. Truffles
Right.
Alan Blumenfeld
What is really, Where. Where's the line that you want to fight about this? And that's hard how to just nod.
Mrs. Truffles
Your head in agreement and just shut the fuck.
Alan Blumenfeld
Just don't say anything.
Catherine James
I'll give you. I'll give you the best example of that. All right. Oldest granddaughter is in utero. First sonogram. Everybody says about Persephone. Everybody says, looking at the picture of the sonogram. Oh, my gosh, that baby is smiling. Look at her smile. Look how she's smiling. And I'm like, isn't it great? Isn't it great? And I turn to Alan and he says, you know, I don't see that. And I said, you know what? I think you need to look again. Because I don't think I can be in a relationship with anyone who can't see that that baby is smiling. Do you want to look at that picture again?
Mr. Truffles
Oh, there it is.
Catherine James
Oh, there's a young.
Alan Blumenfeld
Oh, that smile. I thought that was gas. I'm sorry.
Catherine James
That's what I. I thought the baby was upside down.
Mr. Truffles
I'm sorry.
Alan Blumenfeld
Exactly.
Catherine James
Right.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah.
Catherine James
Yeah.
Mr. Truffles
Words to live by. Right.
Mrs. Truffles
Words to live by.
Mr. Truffles
Mrs. Truffles has three rules. Yeah. And she applied them to her daughters, and then she applied them to her husband, and they go like this. Go ahead, sweetheart. What's rule number one?
Mrs. Truffles
Well, it also goes for the long haired, mini dachshunds in our life.
Mr. Truffles
Yes. Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
Number one is no whining. No whining.
Mr. Truffles
No whining.
Catherine James
Yeah, don't do it.
Mrs. Truffles
Nobody wants to listen to that.
Mr. Truffles
No. Stop it. Knock it off.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah. Number two is Mommy's always right.
Mr. Truffles
Always. Every time.
Mrs. Truffles
And rule number three is, when in doubt, refer to rule number two.
Mr. Truffles
Everything will be rules to live by.
Alan Blumenfeld
Yeah, well. Yep, that's wise.
Catherine James
That's very wise.
Mrs. Truffles
Because I'm Mommy, of course I'm right.
Mr. Truffles
Of course.
Alan Blumenfeld
And if not, what's. What are you gonna do about it?
Catherine James
Yeah.
Alan Blumenfeld
You're gonna make a.
Mrs. Truffles
Tell you that's hot. If I tell you that, you're gonna need a sweater. If I tell you it's your bedtime. I'm right.
Catherine James
He will say to me, he'll say, you're absolutely right. And I say, I'm really good at that. I'm good at being right. That's one of the things I do best.
Mr. Truffles
Alan here is to the women in our life being right. Every fucking time.
Alan Blumenfeld
Why not? Okay, what have you got? What are you gonna gain?
Mr. Truffles
Nothing. Zero. I put my thumb to my finger and I hold it up.
Alan Blumenfeld
Right. Zelch, baby.
Mr. Truffles
Well, this has been more fun than you can shake a stick at, hasn't it? Mrs. Troubles.
Mrs. Truffles
A rainbow silk.
Mr. Truffles
That's right.
Catherine James
Rainbow silk stick.
Mr. Truffles
Well, you beautiful hippies, we're so glad that you got to sit down and tell us your beautiful love story.
Alan Blumenfeld
You're so kind. It was really fun. You guys are so nice.
Catherine James
Thank you.
Mrs. Truffles
Thank you so much for sharing.
Catherine James
Absolutely.
Mr. Truffles
And we'll be right back with more for love and chocolate.
Mrs. Truffles
Good job, guys.
Mr. Truffles
This podcast is being brought to you by Beverly Hills Toys Chocolates of Switzerland. Beverly Hills Toysher, at 371 North Camden Drive in Beverly Hills, has been serving up truffles, pralines, dipped fruits, marzipans, and our world famous chocolate bars for over 40 years. So next time you're in Beverly Hills, why don't you come by and visit or shop online@beverlyhillstoyshire.com.
Mrs. Truffles
I don't know about you, Mr. Truffles, but my heart is completely overflowing after spending the last hour with Alan and Catherine. They are so lovely.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, it's incredible. I mean, 51 years in, they still obviously love and respect each other so much, but they're still hot for each other.
Mrs. Truffles
You can tell their love just lights up the room. And I think everyone who's around them, it's like a. A warm, glowing fire you want to be close to.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, no. I'm so glad that they're now in our lives. It's really nice, isn't it? Well, everyone, thanks again for joining us. And guess what? We're going to do it again next week. But until then, say goodbye, Mrs. Truffles.
Mrs. Truffles
Goodbye, Mrs. Truffles.
Mr. Truffles
This show is brought to you by Beverly Hills Toy Chocolates of Switzerland, home of the world's first and finest champagne truffles. Join us next week for more adventures in everlasting love.
Podcast Summary: "For Love and Chocolate" – Episode: Chip the Giant and the Christmas Mailman
Podcast Information:
The episode kicks off with Mr. Truffles and Mrs. Truffles warmly welcoming listeners back to another edition of "For Love and Chocolate." The hosts express their joy in discussing the revelations from interviewing over two dozen long-married couples. They emphasize the importance of communication, humor, and active listening as foundational elements that keep love "fiery and fresh."
Notable Quotes:
The hosts transition into the mailbag segment, addressing listener submissions and offering advice.
Karen, a 33-year-old married woman, reaches out about her tumultuous feelings towards her husband following a political disagreement. Despite contemplating divorce, she finds herself rekindling passion with her husband.
Notable Quotes:
Jim confides about his habit of endlessly scrolling dating apps despite being in a committed relationship. He seeks guidance on convincing his partner that it’s harmless.
Notable Quotes:
Maria, a 26-year-old student training to become a nun in Austria, shares her dilemma of developing feelings for a naval sea captain she serves, seeking divine guidance on her predicament.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts introduce their featured guests, Alan Blumenfeld, a seasoned actor, and his wife, Catherine James, an accomplished actress, writer, and director. They highlight the couple's 51-year marriage, akin to the legendary pairing of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.
Notable Quotes:
Alan and Catherine met on May 17, 1973, during their first day at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco. Catherine, arriving with crutches, caught Alan’s attention with her determination and spirit.
Notable Quotes:
Their friendship blossomed as they spent extensive hours together in acting classes, rehearsing intense scenes that fostered genuine emotional connections. This camaraderie eventually led to a deep romantic relationship.
Notable Quotes:
Alan and Catherine chose a unique, intimate wedding in 1978, officiated by their friends who became ministers through Universal Life. The ceremony featured rainbow silk chiffon attire and a heartfelt exchange of vows.
Notable Quotes:
The couple shares insights into sustaining a long-lasting relationship. They attribute their enduring love to embracing change, mutual respect, forgiveness, and maintaining humor through life's challenges.
Notable Quotes:
Alan and Catherine offer practical advice for couples, emphasizing the importance of falling in love with each other continuously, being willing to forgive, and not allowing minor disagreements to overshadow their bond.
Notable Quotes:
Reflecting on Alan and Catherine's story, the hosts express admiration for their unwavering love and partnership. They highlight how the couple's relationship embodies the essence of enduring love celebrated throughout the podcast.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of "For Love and Chocolate" masterfully intertwines listener interactions with a profound exploration of Alan and Catherine's remarkable 51-year marriage. Through heartfelt storytelling and genuine dialogue, Tommy and Tara Gallop provide both entertainment and invaluable relationship wisdom, all while celebrating the sweet symphony of love and chocolate.
Highlighted Themes:
Listeners are left inspired by the authenticity and resilience of Alan and Catherine's bond, reaffirming the podcast's mission to celebrate everlasting love.