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Mr. Truffles
From deep in the heart of Beverly Hills, you found For Love and chocolate with Mr. And Mrs. Truffles.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, welcome back to the podcast.
Mr. Truffles
Well, welcome back, Everybody. You know, Mrs. Truffles, you look a little bit like a doe. A deer.
Mrs. Truffles
A female deer.
Mr. Truffles
You do. Exactly.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, what is going on in the world of romance at Toy Share chocolates these days, Mr. Truffles?
Mr. Truffles
Well, I think, you know, you're all giddy, Mrs. Truffles, because our sweet little daughter Marley, and her very sweet boyfriend, who shall remain nameless, but we'll call him Leland.
Mrs. Truffles
Yes, he came to dinner, and it went so well that we invited him to join us for the following night.
Mr. Truffles
That's right.
Mrs. Truffles
For our most favorite annual event, the Hollywood Bowl.
Mr. Truffles
Okay, your favorite event, sweetie.
Mrs. Truffles
Excuse me, but the Sound of Music is your favorite film.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, right. Sorry. Yes. Yes, we went to the Hollywood bowl for the annual Sound of Music. Sing along.
Mrs. Truffles
Yes. And Marley and Leland joined us.
Mr. Truffles
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
It was so fun to have him there with us.
Mr. Truffles
It wasn't this time. We got a little bougie box, didn't we?
Mrs. Truffles
Yes, we did.
Mr. Truffles
And we were sitting in front and they were behind us, and it's so much fun. They've got this costume show before, and it's just 18,000 people singing in perfect harmony to this glorious movie.
Mrs. Truffles
Except for Marley and Leland, who couldn't stop talking the whole time.
Mr. Truffles
Wouldn't stop.
Mrs. Truffles
But, you know, they're just so crazy about each other, they just can't stop talking to each other. Kind of cute.
Mr. Truffles
It is.
Mrs. Truffles
And kind of annoying.
Mr. Truffles
We do love seeing love blossom. And when it's close to home like that, it's just. It's really sweet, isn't it?
Mrs. Truffles
It's so sweet.
Mr. Truffles
We love it.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, Mr. Truffles, I'm very excited today. You know, why don't you tell me, Mrs. Truffles? Well, it's been a while since we've had an expert in the studio, Right? A real expert.
Mr. Truffles
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
To help us answer our questions. And it just turns out that Today we have Dr. Zemp stopping by.
Mr. Truffles
Whoa.
Mrs. Truffles
He is always so insightful and so spot on with his advice. He's a very learned psychologist with many degrees, and I know that our listeners really treasure his learned words of wisdom. Really? This guy just spills pearls, doesn't he?
Mr. Truffles
Yeah. I love when he visits.
Mrs. Truffles
I think it's time.
Mr. Truffles
I think so, too. Ask the expert. Well, welcome back to the show, Dr. Zemf.
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
Dr. Zemf, thank you so much for joining us.
Eli Cantor
It's always a pleasure to See the two of you. Mrs. Truffles, you look so fantastic today, as always. And Mr. Truffles, if I may say, you look very nice to your hair. Something's happened. I know what you have of left there. It looks very nice.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, Dr. Zemp, that is very insightful, as you always are.
Eli Cantor
Thank you very much. So, Mrs. Truffles, what do you have in the mailbag today?
Mrs. Truffles
Thank you for asking. Dr. Zimf, we have a very good question. Of course it was written to us, but I'm going to read it for you to answer today.
Eli Cantor
Very good.
Mrs. Truffles
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Truffles, I've been dating a girl that I really like, but she has one very odd habit that is really annoying me. Every time we go in or out of a building, she grabs the door first and hold holds it for me. I've tried making jokes about it, but she's really not getting it. How can I let her know that this is just weird for me without being insulting? Thanks, Jim.
Eli Cantor
Very interesting. I get this question very many times, Mrs. Truffles, very many times. So this sounds to me like the classic situation of the couple where the woman, maybe she come from military family. The parents are very strict. So when she grows up, everyone says to her, okay, what's her name again?
Mrs. Truffles
He never said her name.
Eli Cantor
We'll call her Trinket. Trinklet, this is how you do the things. You must always open the door for the people, for your brothers, for your mother and your father, for your cousins, for the animals. This is how you show the respect. You open the door, Twinklet. And when you do that, the people say, oh, she saw very well trained and she's well brought up and I appreciate everything she does. But the problem may be in the future when she meets the big strong man, he doesn't want the door open for him. He's a gentleman. So he might say, trinket, I understand that you have grown up like this and that your cousins and your mother and your father and your brothers and all the animals, they ask you to open the door for you. And so you've done this but for me, because I come from Lubeck, Germany, where the almonds are so sweet. The marzipan, best marzipan in the world in Lubeck, Germany. Anyway, we have many doors in Lubeck, Germany. I always open them. I never see the woman open the door. This is why there's no civil unrest in Lubeck, because all the men open the doors. So, Trinket, I ask you, maybe step back for a moment. See the whole world for what it is. Understand? There are many doors to open. You, however, Drinklet, don't have to open a single one. They're going to be open for you.
Mr. Truffles
This is what I would say, Mrs. Truffles.
Mrs. Truffles
Well, that's very helpful, very much, thank you.
Dr. Zemp
Very insightful.
Mrs. Truffles
But how do you suggest that he breaks this news to her?
Eli Cantor
He must say, I am the man, you are the woman. I open the doors, you go through them.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, well, thank you, Dr. Z.
Eli Cantor
Thank you very much.
Mrs. Truffles
That was very helpful.
Eli Cantor
I'm glad I could help.
Mrs. Truffles
We always love it when you stop by to help us answer these important romantic questions.
Eli Cantor
It's always a pleasure. And may I say, Mrs. Truffles, I have been listening to the show in case you are curious or wondering. You are the real star. Okay, Goodbye.
Mrs. Truffles
Uh, hold on, Dr. Z.
Eli Cantor
Yes, I. Okay, I'm coming back.
Mrs. Truffles
Let me get that door for you.
Eli Cantor
Oh, look what you did. You. You Made it funny, Mrs. Travels. No, I am the man. I will open the door. But thank you. And please tell Trinklet I wish her the best.
Mrs. Truffles
Thank you so much, Dr. Zemp. Thanks for stopping by.
Mr. Truffles
I gotta say, he is something else.
Mrs. Truffles
What? An intellectual.
Mr. Truffles
I don't think genius is too strong a word.
Mrs. Truffles
It really isn't. Actually, genius is the perfect word. And you know what else is perfect?
Mr. Truffles
What's that?
Mrs. Truffles
This couple who are coming up next.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
Why don't you tell us a little bit about Eli and Janet Cantor?
Mr. Truffles
Okay, we have Eli and Janet Cantor. Now, Eli is an attorney in Beverly Hills, right down the street from our Toysher chocolate shop. He practices immigration, employment and personal injury law with his son and partner, Jonathan Cantor. He's been practicing law for more than 47 years. And he retired from fortune telling and palm reading after he married the love of his life. He's a graduate of UCLA and Loyola Law School and his motto in his law practice and in life is never say I can't. Janet Cantor NE Karazi was born in Tehran, Iran. She has an economics degree from National University, one of the top schools in Iran, and a master's degree in Economics from UCSB. She and Eli have been married for over 44 years. They have three wonderful children and four gorgeous grandchildren that seem to all really love our chocolate. We when Janet's not busy being a full time grandma, she assists Eli with his accounting and is the office manager and she's a fantastic Persian chef. And we'll be sitting with him when we come back with more for love and chocolate. For over 40 years Toyscher has been a staple in the Beverly Hills community. Like so many other families in the community, our family has had a longstanding love affair with toysher chocolates. Over the years, we formed traditions and memories around these experiences. Extraordinary Swiss chocolates and the enchanting wonderland of fantasy truffle boxes inside our store. Today, our family is proud to be carrying on the Teuther tradition in Beverly Hills. Well, welcome back, everybody.
Mrs. Truffles
Welcome back.
Mr. Truffles
You know, Mrs. Truffles, here are the things that ring true to me that I can count on every day of my life.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Mr. Truffles
The sun will always rise.
Mrs. Truffles
Yes.
Mr. Truffles
Taxes will always be due on the 15th of April. And Eli Kantor and his son Jonathan would come by for a hot chocolate and a cocoa truffle every single day of my life. And so, of course, I have to invite Eli and his wife Janet to the show. Right?
Mrs. Truffles
Beautiful wife.
Mr. Truffles
His beautiful wife.
Mrs. Truffles
How many years have you been married?
Mr. Truffles
Oh, my goodness, 44 years.
Dr. Zemp
44 years.
Mr. Truffles
And so just a little background. When we started doing the podcast, Eli and Jonathan were our biggest fans. So when I put it out there. What about Janet? They both said, it's going to take some work. It's going to take a little work. I had no idea. This is like getting the Duke and Duchess on the show.
Eli Cantor
We finally, she relented.
Mrs. Truffles
I think it took their whole family to convince her.
Eli Cantor
They all were together, I think came.
Mrs. Truffles
In, she's like, we're trying to talk her everything.
Mr. Truffles
But I think when we said there'll be ros at the table, she was like, I'm in.
Mrs. Truffles
That's all it took. We didn't know.
Eli Cantor
That's it.
Mr. Truffles
Anyway, welcome to the show, guys.
Dr. Zemp
Thank you.
Janet Cantor
Thanks for having us.
Mr. Truffles
So happy to have you.
Dr. Zemp
Thank you.
Mrs. Truffles
Welcome. So you guys have been married for 44 years. That's amazing. Well, you know, we don't like to waste any time with this. Let's get into it. Tell us, how did you two very first meet?
Dr. Zemp
I am from Iran.
Mrs. Truffles
You're from Iran.
Dr. Zemp
When I finished my degree in the university, I was still very young, about 21 years old. And I came here to Santa Barbara to get my master's degree. Had an uncle here who had been united for 30 years at that time. I knew from the beginning when I to go to university ucsb, that I don't have any interest in American boys. Oh, you know, nothing. I wouldn't talk to them. They would come to me, talk to me. I just turn around.
Mrs. Truffles
You wanted a hometown boy.
Janet Cantor
That's what you.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah, exactly. I thought they're cold. They don't understand me. So then I finished. I went back to Iran. I work. And then I finally came here to stay here in la. Actually, at that time, my brother was here. And then there was a holiday. There is a Jewish holiday named Purim in Iran. Because of the restriction we have for the religion and everything, we didn't celebrate holidays like you celebrate here, you know, and then here, like they were making such a big deal of Purim. Everybody said, what are you doing for Purim? And I had a cousin who called me and he said, have you ever been to Khabad House? I said, no. What are you talking about? What is Chabad House? He said, they have very nice Purim. Do you guys want to come? So me and my sister go and we were there, and Chabad, boys and girls are separate. But there was this boy standing there looking at us very intently. He has beard. I have always have been very interested in beard. And he didn't look American. I thought, like, he's European or even Persian. So my sister said, you know, look at this guy. He's looking at us. Why do you think he's thinking? Do you think he want to talk to us? I said, jasmine, you go talk to him.
Mrs. Truffles
Jasmine is your sister.
Dr. Zemp
Sister. She went and talked to him and she came back and she said, you know. He said, he's American, but he has an accent. I don't know what is it, you know, is he really American or not? I said, okay, so it's done for me. I'm not interested. Later on, he came and started talking to us. It was me, my sister and my cousin. He said, I'm very good in palm reading, you guys.
Mrs. Truffles
He said he was good at palm reading?
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
He said, but for people who don't know about Purim, it's a little bit like a Halloween festival.
Dr. Zemp
They dress up and they sing all these songs and they sing very festive, very fun, colorful.
Janet Cantor
They drink commandment to drink.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah. And they have these songs and everything.
Mrs. Truffles
So there's fraternizing at that point, men and women. And you came on with the line that you can read palms, because this.
Dr. Zemp
That's how he pick up pretty sharp.
Mr. Truffles
I'm seeing you with different eyes right.
Dr. Zemp
Now, I gotta say.
Mr. Truffles
You never asked to read my palm?
Janet Cantor
No. So go on.
Dr. Zemp
He started with my sister and he said some stuff to her. She was satisfied. And then he went to my cousin and he got to my palm. He looked at it and he said, can you have a long life or this? That said, you know, What? Your hand is very complete. I have to look into my book. He said, can I have your phone number? I'm going to call you and we arrange it.
Mrs. Truffles
That is, how do you say, lover.
Dr. Zemp
Also, there was something else here. He tell us that he is lawyer. And when I arrived here, I was supposed to get my green card because my father had become citizen, applied for me. I have all the paper, but somehow they didn't give me my green card. This was six months later I've been here and I still haven't received my green card. He was the first American lawyer that I have met. So I said, this is my situation. At that time, I didn't understand that immigration, labor, this lawyer are different. I thought every lawyer knows everything. He said, do you think you can help me get my green card? This is what happened to me. He said, I can look into it. I can probably help you. I can. Sure, I can help you. He said, get me your phone number. I give him my phone number. I forgot about it. I thought he has forgot about it because he didn't call me.
Mr. Truffles
What I understand is this was 45 years ago.
Eli Cantor
Maybe.
Mr. Truffles
Yes, yes, I think Jonathan told me you had an ad in the Yellow Pages and you were listed as the palm reading immigration attorney. Call for all services. Call now anyway. Pick it up, eli.
Janet Cantor
It was March 13, 1979.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, that 45 years ago. That's when you met her?
Janet Cantor
Yes, that's right.
Dr. Zemp
Oh, my, yes.
Mrs. Truffles
You get such a big shiny gold.
Mr. Truffles
Star for knowing that.
Mrs. Truffles
For knowing that. That is so romantic.
Mr. Truffles
Did you celebrate that day? The day you met? Every year.
Dr. Zemp
Wow, so sweet.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, so tell us, how did this go down for you?
Janet Cantor
I'm not a big drinker, but on Purim, it's a commandment that you have to drink. You're supposed to drink until you don't know the difference between Haman, who's the bad, and Morai, who's the good. I had a friend who was a rabbi and he had a special silver flask. And he said, eli, you have to drink Al for Purim. So it gave me the fortitude, a little liquid courage. I knew most of the people at Chabad that night. But then these beautiful, three strikingly beautiful women walk into the room. And I said, oh, what? I looked at her, I said, wrap her up, I'll take her. In my defense, it's true, I didn't call her for a week because at that time I was working for the nlrb, the National Labor Relations Board. And I got sent out of town a Case in Fraser Peak in the Sierras actually. And we were gone for a week. So I come back home and I had her number and I called her up. First thing she did was she tried to pass me off to her sister.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah, is that true?
Mrs. Truffles
Really?
Janet Cantor
Yes, yes. And I said no, no, I really want to talk to you. And I said so how are you? Oh, I'm sad. I said why are you sad? You know it's Persian New Year tonight. I said oh no, I didn't know that. It's March 21st.
Mr. Truffles
It's now ruse.
Janet Cantor
Yes, nowruz. She said yeah. And I said oh, so we have to go out. Well, only if my sister comes.
Dr. Zemp
But also I said that we are not celebrating it. This is our first year here.
Janet Cantor
Yes.
Dr. Zemp
We are not in our country. We are not celebrating because my dad had just come back to Iran. My dad was coming back and forth for a couple of years and my mom is very sick. So we are not celebrating tonight. And right away he said, I said.
Janet Cantor
Oh, we have to go out and celebrate. I had to find somebody to be a date for Jasmine for my sister and my normal wingman was working that night. He had to take a statement and we had just come back from China Peak in the Sierras. So I was desperate and I had a roommate whose name was Owen and Owen had a full time girlfriend. And I said, owen, you have to do this for me. I said, and you know she's beautiful and you know, just do this for me. Take one for the team. You owe it to me. He said okay. We went to Pancha Villas, top of the Fairmont Hotel. It's in Santa Monica. It's a spectacular view.
Dr. Zemp
It was Eli, I don't know, maybe he was drunk that night too because all he was doing was telling jokes and sometimes dirty jokes and he was laughing and imagine he's like first date and he was just laughing and saying dirty jokes and everything.
Mr. Truffles
The palm reading comedian.
Dr. Zemp
So we came home at the time me and my sister shared a room together. We in bed and my sister turned to me, said I think this guy really like you. I said, ah, I don't know, I don't think he's a serious person. Why do you want to waste your time? He said, you know we have just arrived, we don't have that many friends. Maybe if he asks me out I will go out to give him credit right away he called me back and he asked me to go out. This time he came in and saw my mom and my mom didn't understand. He didn't speak any English at the time. Somehow he speak Hebrew. My mom speak a little Hebrew English here, there. They make a very good conversation in a way that my mom went and bring the family albums.
Mrs. Truffles
Wow.
Dr. Zemp
Also, there was something else. Eli's full name is Eliyahu Meir. Eliyahu is my mom's dad and Mayer was my mom's brother. So right away my mom felt a connection.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah, that's kind of crazy.
Dr. Zemp
It was very interesting.
Mr. Truffles
I feel like sometimes the way into a woman's heart is through her mother.
Dr. Zemp
Exactly. That is true with me. And he understood it right away.
Mr. Truffles
He got that. He's like, if I can get mom to like me, I am in like Flynn.
Dr. Zemp
Exactly. And he had done it the whole, the last 45 years. Also, he did something else that night. He brought flowers. My mom always loved flower. Always. And my dad, even though he had been a generous man, wonderful, wonderful man, and loved my mom, but not. It was not into flower. He said, what is it? After two days you throw it out in the trash. I rather buy you a piece of jewelry. Why should I bring you flowers? But my mom just loved flowers.
Mr. Truffles
Flowers.
Dr. Zemp
And he brought flowers after that. Every time he came to pick me up, he brought flowers. It got to a way that my dad turned to him. And what did he say?
Janet Cantor
Don't waste your money.
Eli Cantor
Enough with the flowers.
Janet Cantor
Don't save your money.
Mr. Truffles
It's okay, kid, she likes you.
Janet Cantor
So you want to talk about the first date or shall I?
Dr. Zemp
No, you talk about the second date.
Janet Cantor
Actually, I'm sorry, the second date.
Mrs. Truffles
No, no, wait, wait. Let's go back to the first date, all right? Because I want to hear more from you. So what were you went on this first date with your friend, this double date, the four of us, you took her to this lovely, lovely space and then you spent the evening telling dirty jokes. Is that true?
Janet Cantor
I was entertaining her.
Mrs. Truffles
Hey, you know what? One of the most amazing threads that go through so many of the long time happy marriages that we interview people is the humor and the laughter.
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah. It just can get you through anything. Even a nervous first date.
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, so let's hear what happened on the second date.
Janet Cantor
So then I called her up. I don't know if you're familiar with this or not, because this is 45 years ago in the Las Felas area.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Janet Cantor
There was a restaurant and a bakery. This is called Sardino's Cafe Dell Opera. One brother was an opera singer, the other one was a baker. It was this wonderful, cute Italian restaurant. And they had a piano, and people would get up and sing.
Mr. Truffles
That's great.
Janet Cantor
They'd bring their music, and it was amazing.
Dr. Zemp
Very nice.
Janet Cantor
I took Janet, and she liked it a lot. I had a special table, kind of.
Dr. Zemp
And the owners came and talked to us, and they knew Eli and they sang.
Mr. Truffles
But this is the second date.
Janet Cantor
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
Did you get up and sing?
Janet Cantor
No, I didn't want to destroy it. I didn't want to sing that night. What was funny, a couple things was. So the check came. Janet says to me, do I have.
Dr. Zemp
To pay my share? He turned to me, he said, no. Why are you asking? I said, you are my first American that I'm dating. And I have heard here you have to go Dutch when you go out with the girls.
Mrs. Truffles
Bad intel.
Mr. Truffles
I was telling you that.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah, in my country, I have several boyfriends, but I never had paid for myself. This was unheard of. But okay. People had told me, you know, here, when you go out with the car, you have to pay. So I turned to him and I said that. And he said. I said, no, you're my guest, and I won't accept it at all. Don't ever think about it.
Janet Cantor
So I was driving her home, trying to figure out which freeway I was saying. But anyhow, I got lost. I got lost. We're coming from Las Feliz, going to Santa Monica, and somehow I missed the junction for the freeways, and I got lost.
Dr. Zemp
And he was so cute that right away we finally got to my house. He turned to me, he said, I cannot believe it. You do something to me. This is the road I go every day, you know, back and forth to downtown to work, and then back to west la. How could I have been lost? You know, he was.
Mrs. Truffles
He was probably doing that thing where he just keeps looking over and he can't believe how lucky he is. Looking at how beautiful you are and thinking, oh, my goodness. And he just missed his turn.
Dr. Zemp
Exactly.
Mr. Truffles
Good save, Eli. I mean, I believe it to be true, but of course.
Dr. Zemp
What such an effect on me When.
Mr. Truffles
I'm with you I lose all sense of direction.
Dr. Zemp
I'm sure it's true and it happened again Again?
Eli Cantor
It happened today on your way here.
Mr. Truffles
Because we're an hour and a half late. Come on.
Dr. Zemp
He has ways. This time.
F
You do something to me Something that simply mystifies me Tell me why should it be you have the power to hypnotize me Hypnotize me Let me live neath your spell do, do that voodoo that you do so well for you do Something to me that nobody else could do Let me live neath your spell do do that voodoo that you do so well for you do something to me that nobody else could do Nobody else can do that nobody else could do you.
Mr. Truffles
So you get her home?
Janet Cantor
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
Was there a good night kiss at the end of the second day?
Janet Cantor
Firm handshake.
Mrs. Truffles
A firm.
Mr. Truffles
That's not true.
Mrs. Truffles
Was it a lingering handshake, like, oh, I hope I see you again?
Mr. Truffles
Firm handshake.
Janet Cantor
She gave me a firm hand.
Mrs. Truffles
Look, she comes from a very traditional family. It might have been considered an affront to her family if he had.
Mr. Truffles
Let's unpack this for a second.
Mrs. Truffles
Gone in for the movement.
Mr. Truffles
A firm handshake.
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mr. Truffles
And so was that was the message? Yeah. We're still trying to figure this out.
Dr. Zemp
The message was, that takes time.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah.
Mr. Truffles
Wow.
Dr. Zemp
So he had a friend, American guy, the lawyer. The guy asked him, so, how are you doing? He said, I'm dating a Persian girl. And what did. What did he told you? He said, has she let you kiss you yet? It takes a long time.
Janet Cantor
Oh, I knew one Persian in America. This is 1970.
Mr. Truffles
Okay.
Janet Cantor
It was a very nice Persian belly dance restaurant in Pasadena. I told him that I had met a Persian girl. So he says, bring her in and I'll tell you. What's the story.
Mrs. Truffles
Oh, okay.
Janet Cantor
And so we went to dinner there. Then he said, yeah, she's a very nice girl. Very good family. You have to work on her mother. The mother is the gatekeeper. If. Just what you said, Thomas, if the mother likes you, you're in, you're in. If not, forget it. So that's what I did.
Mr. Truffles
Old school, isn't it?
Janet Cantor
Six months.
Mr. Truffles
Wait, six months you worked on mom?
Janet Cantor
No, 45 years.
Dr. Zemp
45 years.
Mrs. Truffles
Hey, this is a great way to keep your daughter from getting jerked around by anybody, okay? Make them work for you.
Mr. Truffles
So let me ask you this question. If mom gives the thumbs up, right? I mean, you still have to have feelings. It's not like there's an arranged marriage, right?
Dr. Zemp
No, of course.
Mr. Truffles
But at any point, you could have said, you know, mom, I appreciate that you like them. I just don't. And then she would have stopped.
Dr. Zemp
She would have stopped.
Mr. Truffles
Okay. So you kind of gave her the green light. It's like, well, let's see where this goes.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah. And because every time he would come to pick me up, he would bring flower for my mom. He would come inside. He would never kind of like just pick me up and go. It was like the first 15 minutes, Eli is with my mom sitting down. I'm getting ready. So then about a month and a half after that, it was Oscar night. We always had a tradition telling you we were in Iran, but we have to watch Oscar. Oscar was our tradition. He said, what are you doing tomorrow night? I said, you know, Oscar night? She said, so I said, we have a tradition. We all sit down and watch Oscar. I said, you want to come? He said, okay. And also another thing, at that point, once a week at least, our date was at my house. My mom will cook for him, and my mom is a fantastic cook. So he had my two sisters. I have two sisters who were serving him. And so he really had.
Mr. Truffles
Everyone's wooing everybody, but that's the way it should.
Mrs. Truffles
I know, but I gotta say, lovely.
Eli Cantor
You know, I'm seeing you in a.
Mr. Truffles
Different way right now.
Janet Cantor
All these beautiful women are serving me.
Mrs. Truffles
But you know what? This kind of, like for all the Persian families we know in Beverly Hills, like, this kind of explains why they're so tight knit and why it's such a beautiful. Yeah.
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mr. Truffles
I mean, it really is.
Dr. Zemp
So then that night after the show was over, I came out to say good night to him by his car, and suddenly he grabbed me. And that was the first kiss.
Mrs. Truffles
How long?
Dr. Zemp
It was a month and a half, Six.
Mrs. Truffles
A month and a half? Six months.
Mr. Truffles
And that was the first kiss?
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Eli Cantor
And it was kind of.
Mr. Truffles
It was lovingly aggressive and almost not.
Dr. Zemp
It was.
Mr. Truffles
But obviously he got a green light from you, Janet.
Dr. Zemp
Yes, he did.
Mr. Truffles
There was something in those six weeks with that.
Dr. Zemp
In a way, I didn't understand it at the time, but I think both of us were aggressive because the next day he turned to me and said, you bite me. I said, I bite you My tongue.
Mrs. Truffles
What?
Dr. Zemp
I didn't know that.
Janet Cantor
I had heard of French kissing, but I never heard of Persian kissing. So I don't know. She's biting my tongue. So I don't know. Maybe this is how they do it in Iran.
Mrs. Truffles
So now, when you were in Iran, you said you dated some guys. Was there anyone that you had dated before that ever had gotten to the kiss, or was Eli your first kiss?
Dr. Zemp
No, I had kissed before.
Mrs. Truffles
You had kissed before.
Dr. Zemp
I'm saying it unpopular.
Mr. Truffles
It's okay.
Dr. Zemp
It's okay.
Mrs. Truffles
We still respect you.
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, that's. Oh, great. So. So you obviously.
Dr. Zemp
And nobody had complained about my kisses? He didn't complain, actually. Really? But he was.
Mr. Truffles
No, he just needed stitches.
Janet Cantor
So I think she was startled, maybe.
Dr. Zemp
Oh, that's fantastic.
Mr. Truffles
So how so now it's on, right? You guys are now an item and you're dating exclusively.
Janet Cantor
Yes.
Dr. Zemp
But you have to know something, please. At the time, complicated. At the time when we met, he was dating somebody else right away. I think after he met me or a week after that, he broke up with the girl. But then he had another girlfriend. That girlfriend was in Israel because Eli at the time was working for government. Like he would get four weeks paid vacation every year. So he loved to go to Israel and Greece and travel. In one of his travels, he had met this Moroccan. Yes, Moroccan girl. He got very close with the family and he would stay with them and everything. And he got very close with one of the daughters. They had kind of were exchanging letters and everything. Eli had planned to go back there end of May, after we kiss and everything the next week. He said, you know, I'm thinking to cancel my trip. After I said, no, Eli, I don't think you should cancel your trip. He said, why? I said, I want you to go on this trip. I really do want you to go on this trip. And he said, but why? I said, you need to go and I need some time for myself. He went to the trip. And then what happened?
Janet Cantor
So I had been having this long distance relationship for about two, three years, maybe at least two years. But we had just kind of left it hanging because of the 10,000 mile difference. It's. This is in Israel.
Mr. Truffles
Israel, okay.
Janet Cantor
Her family was Jewish, from Morocco.
Mr. Truffles
Gotcha.
Janet Cantor
Okay.
Mr. Truffles
The palm reading capital of the world.
Janet Cantor
Yes, I read palms in many languages.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, my God. Okay, go on.
Janet Cantor
And women always have the same questions.
Dr. Zemp
Eli, you speak Hebrew very good.
Janet Cantor
So I'm in Israel in my girlfriend's house, and I just, you know, I wanted. I had to decide what's. I was thinking it's about time to get married. Maybe eventually.
Dr. Zemp
Your father was putting picture on you.
Janet Cantor
Oh, my parents wanted me get married yesterday. So I'm sleeping not with my girlfriend, but in her room. Got it in her parents house. And I had a dream. And in the dream, Janet came to me and she said, I'm going to be your wife and the mother of your children.
Mr. Truffles
What?
Mrs. Truffles
In your dream?
Janet Cantor
In my dream.
Mr. Truffles
While you're in your other girlfriend's.
Mrs. Truffles
Janet. Wait a minute.
Janet Cantor
So I thought, well, if Janet came 10,000 miles in a dream, she definitely knows something that I don't know. And she wants to prevent me from doing something that I want to do. Wow. So I thought, well, yeah, that's. It ended it with my girlfriend in Israel. And I came Back and the rest is kind of history.
Mr. Truffles
Jana, do you have a voodoo doll of Eli? When he went and you said you should go?
Dr. Zemp
Yes.
Mr. Truffles
Was there a part of you that was thinking, I think that he's for me and I just need it?
Dr. Zemp
I didn't. But we had a lot in common. We really communicated very good. And I saw in him what I liked for my future.
Mrs. Truffles
Right. You could see the future with him.
Dr. Zemp
Exactly. I could see the future.
Janet Cantor
He's a fortune teller too.
Dr. Zemp
I am very honest with you. I wasn't in love with him at the time. I wasn't. But I liked him for a future husband before I really let go of my heart and get too attached. I wanted him to be careful.
Mrs. Truffles
Did you know there was another girl in Israel?
Dr. Zemp
Yeah, told me.
Mrs. Truffles
He had told a friend about all.
Dr. Zemp
He was upfront. He was very open from the beginning.
Mrs. Truffles
Was that.
Janet Cantor
No, I was just, you know, I was very honest. I said I'd been involved in a long distance relationship. Just kind of a loose end.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay.
Dr. Zemp
Then something else happened, going back to my mom. Finally, Eli agree that I met his parent. He hadn't taken me to see his. The next day I was talking to my mom. I said, I don't know, mom. The parents are not that warm. They are not like us. I don't know if I want to continue this relationship because he's the only son and his parents are older, much older than my parents. My mom turned to me and looked at me, said, why are you saying that? You know that you love him. Why are you even wondering about that? I see it in you. When are you going to understand it yourself and accept it?
Mr. Truffles
So your mom knew that you loved him before you did.
Mrs. Truffles
Maybe sometimes moms just. Yeah, we've heard this before. Or sometimes the mom knows even before you do.
Dr. Zemp
Exactly, Exactly.
Mrs. Truffles
Now, when you came back from Israel, did you tell her about the dream and said, yes, I saw you when you came to visit me.
Dr. Zemp
Yes, very persuasive. He said, do you remember last Monday night where you were that you came to my dream? I don't know.
Mr. Truffles
So how soon after getting back from Israel did you propose?
Dr. Zemp
He came back like June, November, November 17th.
Mr. Truffles
And what did that look like?
Dr. Zemp
We used to go to Marina del Rey, to restaurants in Marina del Rey. So he came to pick me up. We are driving in the car. First I start telling you about cousins of mine who just got engaged in New York. It's a nice couple. And then something else I told you. What was it that I told you that the Night that he proposed to me, I turned to him, I said, you won't believe it. Last week I went to this wedding and the name of the bride and the groom was Janet and Eli.
Janet Cantor
Imagine.
Mr. Truffles
No, that's not true.
Dr. Zemp
So that's why he thought that I know that he's going to propose. That's why I'm saying these things.
Mr. Truffles
He went to the Eli and Janet.
Dr. Zemp
They were Persian, but the girl name was Janet and the boy was Eli and they call him Eli.
Mr. Truffles
All the forces, you know, between the dream and this thing, all of the.
Mrs. Truffles
Names, it was Bechert.
Dr. Zemp
It was really becher.
Mrs. Truffles
The word bishert is a Yiddish word that means destiny or soulmate. In the Jewish culture, it is often used to describe a person's life partner or the person they are destined to be with.
Dr. Zemp
He was sure that I knew he was going to propose to me that night because he had made up his mind. Then he turned to me in the car, he said, can I ask you a question? And I said yes. I said, will you marry me? No ring, no kneeling down? No.
Janet Cantor
He had a jewelry store.
Dr. Zemp
His parents had a jewelry store. You know, he said, you can come pick up whatever you want. Then I start crying and I called.
Mrs. Truffles
My mother, all right, you can come pick whatever you.
Dr. Zemp
So January 6th, we got engaged. And that was the first time he saw the whole family and was so sweet.
Mrs. Truffles
So tell us about what happened on January 6. There was a nams.
Janet Cantor
They put henna. It's a whole big to do.
Mrs. Truffles
So it's an official ceremony for the engagement. Okay, what's it called?
Janet Cantor
Namzadi.
Dr. Zemp
Namzadi. And it was at my parents house and we had about 80 people. I don't know how we had 80.
Mrs. Truffles
So just a small gathering.
Dr. Zemp
That small, very small gathering.
Janet Cantor
Just the closest family.
Dr. Zemp
Most interesting thing was he was standing in the hallway and people are coming in. Everybody is kind of looking around. Where is the groom? They thought because he's American, he's like blond, blue eyes. And nobody thought that it's the groom.
Mrs. Truffles
You just blended in. They weren't expecting.
Janet Cantor
Janet had a cousin from Iran, Yahya. And he had just recently returned to America and we looked somewhat similar.
Dr. Zemp
He had a beard.
Janet Cantor
People were start talking to me in far. How are you doing?
Mr. Truffles
Oh, that's so funny.
Mrs. Truffles
Funny.
Dr. Zemp
So it was his first introduction to real Persian family.
Mrs. Truffles
So what day did the wedding take place?
Janet Cantor
May 25th.
Mrs. Truffles
Okay, so the. So you got engaged in January.
Dr. Zemp
January.
Mrs. Truffles
With the big ceremony. And then the wedding took place five months later. Five months later. Where was the wedding held?
Dr. Zemp
Steven Weiss Temple at the Stephen Weiss Temple in Iran. I would obviously other people get married, Christians people, and they get married in church. But with the Jews we didn't have that opportunity. But in the movies I have seen and I always loved to get married in the temple, in the church. And then when we start thinking about where to get married, I said, I really like to get married in a temple. So we plan to get married in May, May 25, 1980. I said, I will plan the wedding. By the way, our wedding was 250 people, which was a small thing for a Persian thing, you know. I said, I pre planned the wedding. You don't have to deal with anything. Everything I planned. But you are in charge of honeymoon. And he did a fantastic job. I told him what I like in our room is fireplace. And every hotel we stay had a fireplace. We went to a fantastic honeymoon. We take the road that you guys took in summertime, Pacific piranha. We went from Santa Barbara to Cambria. Cambria. And then we went up to Big Sur. I remember exactly the day that I knew I love him. I have fallen in love with him. We were in our honeymoon. By this time we had got to Carmel. We had been five, six nights. It was like everything together. Like I saw every hotel became, as I told you, had fireplace. The way I have told him. He already had make reservation in all the restaurants. He had planned everything ahead and he had planned it the way I like it. You know, I like a small Italian restaurant.
Mrs. Truffles
He cared about your feelings.
Dr. Zemp
Exactly. I like brunches, you know. I still like to go to brunch better than at anything else. Brunch, you know, all of this thing. And then one morning we were in Carmel in this very cute small hotel. And I wake up and I look at him. I love him. I just love him. He is a perfect person that I had dreamed I will ever find. He really was. Oh yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
That was the moment it just hit you.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
It's amazing.
Dr. Zemp
And you were so right. We coming from those cultures is like as if I understand love at the first sight. But I don't. I don't know how to say it. That everything has to be said. Then I can let my heart go, go yeah. He planned everything so beautiful for that honeymoon. Unbelievable. We were staying in my cousin's house in Hillsborough. Interesting enough. Mr. Cantor had an interview for a job in San Francisco in the middle of our honeymoon. So he went for an interview.
Janet Cantor
What happened was a very nice interview. Didn't get the job. But I became very good friends with the person who interviewed me. And he said, oh, you're on your honeymoon. You've got to go to this place called Little River. My wife just loves it. It's only two, three hours from here. Are you familiar with Mendocino?
Mr. Truffles
Yep.
Mrs. Truffles
Sure.
Janet Cantor
So it's a few miles south and it's this little town.
Dr. Zemp
Very little town.
Mr. Truffles
Very cute.
Janet Cantor
And people have these little restaurants in a house. Three or four servings of wheat.
Dr. Zemp
And the inn was very good. This place we stayed was really Little River Inn.
Janet Cantor
The Glendevin.
Dr. Zemp
Glendevin. Glendevin was in.
Janet Cantor
That was spontaneous.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah.
Dr. Zemp
And it was really fantastic. They give us a King's Room. That was the name of the.
Mr. Truffles
The King's Room.
Dr. Zemp
King's Room.
Mrs. Truffles
How perfect.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah. Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
Amazing. What a beautiful story you guys have. It's so sweet.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah. And then he did something very interesting. We came back from honeymoon and I.
Janet Cantor
Said, well, even though some of them know English, they're really not going to speak English. So at night I went to school, Lucilla extension. I went back and I learned Farsi.
Dr. Zemp
I told everybody. I said, he didn't do it for me because he's such a curious person. He wanted to know what we are talking about.
Janet Cantor
Of course, then I found out I wasn't missing anything.
Dr. Zemp
It's all gossip.
Mr. Truffles
You speak fluent Farsi?
Dr. Zemp
Yes, he does.
Mr. Truffles
That's not easy. That's not an easy language.
Dr. Zemp
He's very good at languages. He knows Spanish. Very good. He knows Hebrew. Very good. He knows Yiddish. Very good. He's very good in dialing.
Mr. Truffles
He knows the right girl. He knows how to speak. And he knows the right Chocolate.
Dr. Zemp
Chocolate.
Mr. Truffles
Where to get his chocolate.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah, he does.
Janet Cantor
He know how to read palms.
Mr. Truffles
And he writes.
Mrs. Truffles
All these years later and there is just so much electricity between each.
Mr. Truffles
It's like sexy tension. It's just.
Mrs. Truffles
Yeah. You guys are still very crazy about each other.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah.
Mrs. Truffles
What is your secret recipe? How do you keep that going?
Dr. Zemp
I just have hots for him all the time.
Eli Cantor
That's honest.
Mr. Truffles
You just have hots for him all the time.
Mrs. Truffles
That is amazing.
Dr. Zemp
And he knows it.
Janet Cantor
Two words.
Mr. Truffles
Okay.
Janet Cantor
Yes, dear.
Mr. Truffles
Yes.
Mrs. Truffles
There you go. Mic drop right there.
Mr. Truffles
You don't need anything else.
Mrs. Truffles
For love that endures. What is your best piece of advice?
Janet Cantor
Communication.
Dr. Zemp
Communication.
Mrs. Truffles
Communication.
Janet Cantor
Beef.
Dr. Zemp
Best friends, you know? Best part of our relationship is we are each other's best friend. And we are. We really are. That said, he is my best friend. There is nothing better to describe it, you know, and we don't Hide anything from each other. Nothing.
Mrs. Truffles
Communication, honesty, and just passion.
Dr. Zemp
Passion.
Mrs. Truffles
It's a recipe for success.
Mr. Truffles
Oh, well, you guys, it's been such a pleasure. You've exceeded our expectations. You guys are fantastic and we love, love having you.
Mrs. Truffles
Thank you so much.
Mr. Truffles
And we'll be right back with more for love and chocolate. This part is being brought to you by Beverly Hills Toy Chocolates of Switzerland. Beverly Hills Toy Shire at 371 North Camden Drive in Beverly Hills, has been serving up truffles, pralines, dipped fruits, marzipans, and our world famous chocolate bars for over 40 years. So next time you're in Beverly Hills, why don't you come by and visit or shop online@beverlyhillstoyshire.com God, they were fantastic. I adore them. And you know what I mean, I know you saw this too, sweetie, but they just couldn't keep their hands off of each other.
Mrs. Truffles
They're so sweet and so in love and it was so great to be with them.
Mr. Truffles
Yeah. And. And also, and I know we said it before, but so brilliant. They're both so smart. Not only are they beautiful people inside and out, but giant brains, those two.
Dr. Zemp
Yeah, yeah.
Mr. Truffles
And I think just what I love is just the whole opener where Eli went in as a palm reader. And if I could just take a page out of that book. Mrs. Travels, please give me your palm. Oh, look at that. Okay, so I see your love line that's very long and it's very robust. And next to it, I see your chocolate line, which is even longer and more robust.
Mrs. Truffles
How is that possible?
Mr. Truffles
I don't know. But I see in your life just a lot of love and a lot of chocolate.
Mrs. Truffles
Aw.
Mr. Truffles
And we'll be back next week with more for love and chocolate. But until then, say goodbye, Mrs. Truffles.
Mrs. Truffles
Goodbye, Mrs. Truffles.
Mr. Truffles
This show is brought to you by Beverly Hills Toy Chocolates of Switzerland, home of the world's first and finest champagne truffles. Join us next week for more adventures in everlasting love.
For Love and Chocolate Podcast Episode Summary: "Purim Palm Reader and the Persian Dream Girl"
Hosted by Tommy and Tara Gallop, "For Love and Chocolate" is a charming podcast that celebrates enduring love stories alongside the delights of fine Swiss chocolate. In the October 1, 2024 episode titled "Purim Palm Reader and the Persian Dream Girl," the hosts delve into the heartfelt 44-year romance of Eli and Janet Cantor, exploring cultural traditions, family influences, and the secrets to their lasting love.
The episode opens with Tommy and Tara Gallop, affectionately known as Mr. and Mrs. Truffles, sharing delightful anecdotes about their daughter Marley and her boyfriend Leland. They recount a memorable night at the annual Hollywood Bowl's "Sound of Music" sing-along event, highlighting the joys and minor annoyances of family gatherings.
Transitioning smoothly, the hosts introduce today's expert guest, Dr. Eli Cantor, a seasoned psychologist with a unique background in palm reading and immigration law. Dr. Zemp (as referred in the transcript) brings a wealth of knowledge, making him a cherished guest for addressing listeners' love-related queries.
Before diving into the main story, the hosts and Dr. Zemp tackle a listener's question about addressing a partner's habit of always holding doors. Dr. Zemp humorously attributes this behavior to traditional upbringing and offers playful advice, emphasizing the importance of communication without offending.
The spotlight shifts to Eli and Janet Cantor, a couple whose relationship spans over four decades. Eli, an accomplished attorney specializing in immigration, and Janet, an economist and Persian chef, share their unique journey of love that harmoniously blends their Iranian-Jewish heritage with contemporary American culture.
Eli recounts how he met Janet during the Jewish holiday of Purim in Santa Monica. As a palm reader, Eli initially intended to offer his services but found himself captivated by Janet's charm. Their meeting was orchestrated through family connections, emphasizing the role of destiny and cultural rituals in their union.
A pivotal aspect of Eli and Janet's relationship is the strong influence of family, especially the approval of Janet's mother. Eli's respectful and considerate approach won over Janet's family, demonstrating the importance of familial support in sustaining a long-term relationship.
Their engagement was marked by a traditional Persian henna ceremony (Namzadi) and a grand wedding at the Stephen Weiss Temple in Iran. The meticulous planning and mutual respect showcased their dedication to honoring both their cultural backgrounds and personal preferences.
Eli and Janet's honeymoon was a testament to their compatibility and shared interests. From strolling through Carmel to spontaneously choosing cozy inns, their time together reinforced their bond and laid the foundation for a harmonious marriage.
The essence of Eli and Janet's enduring relationship lies in their unwavering communication, mutual honesty, and sustained passion. They emphasize the importance of being best friends, maintaining openness, and keeping the flame of love alive through continuous effort and understanding.
Wrapping up the episode, the hosts celebrate Eli and Janet's extraordinary love story, paralleling it with the rich and enduring nature of fine Swiss chocolate. Their story serves as an inspiring blueprint for listeners seeking lasting love, blending cultural heritage with personal commitment.
Cultural Integration: Eli and Janet's relationship beautifully integrates their Persian-Jewish heritage with modern American values, showcasing the strength found in cultural diversity.
Family Matters: Gaining family approval, especially from Janet's mother, played a crucial role in solidifying their bond and ensuring mutual respect.
Communication is Crucial: Open and honest communication, along with being best friends, forms the bedrock of their enduring relationship.
Humor and Passion: Maintaining a sense of humor and keeping the passion alive are essential elements that have helped Eli and Janet navigate decades together.
This episode of "For Love and Chocolate" is a poignant reminder that lasting love requires effort, understanding, and a deep appreciation of each other's backgrounds and values. Eli and Janet Cantor's story is not just a testament to their love but also an inspiring guide for listeners aspiring to build their own enduring relationships.